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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |107 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |107 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |262 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2024Hindi
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Sir I am 39 year old and man I am searching a girls or women to friendship but how to search guenine women in this situation? And where to search it so please help me I am alone
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

You have two options. One- you ask your trusted friends or family members to set you up with someone whom they think will be compatible with you. Two- Dating apps. In this option you do not have to depend on anyone or request anyone. You simply run a bit of research to find an app that caters to people who want serious relationships and genuine friendships over casual hookups. Once you find that app, you download and start setting up your profile. Now this part is important. Do not take it casually. Pick a nice, clear, and recent picture to upload as your display image. For your bio, mention what you are looking for; for instance- “I am looking for genuine friends,” or “I am interested in women who are looking for a serious and exclusive relationship.” You should mention this clearly to attract the kind of women who are apt for you. Next, write about who you are- your profession, your likes and dislikes, and what you will be bringing to the table. It is important for people to see a glimpse of you so that they can decide whether you are their type.

Once the setup is done, browse through profiles and take your time to match. You do not have to match with everyone who comes up on your screen. Find compatible people and match. Send long and detailed messages because sending hi or hello might not fetch you a reply.

Hope these tips will help you.

Best Wishes.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |262 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |295 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I fight in my house with my parents and brothers for them to accept for my inter religion love marriage...they are not accepting for it,they are trying to do marriage with other person for me,with lots of fights and talking they finally cancelled the marriage option with other person and gave me a time of 2yrs,that they will not get you any type matches,they won't distrub...after 2yrs if iam ready then only they will search for it..they clearly mentioned that if it be 2yrs or 10yrs...we won't accept that guy whom you have been in relationship...if you want to stay as single forever...we will leave you,as single...but we won't accept him,or we won't let u to marry him that guy... because ,they were bothering about society and caste,that he belongs to other religion... what should I want to do,I can't leave him,and I can't live without him... should I take 2yrs time,may there mind will change? Or what else I should do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, as a grown-up and I assume that you are of a legal age to get married, it's purely the decision of the two people in question. But. of course, being part of a family system, it becomes a need to actually have their support as well, right? Then, work for it...You can possibly use part of the two years to work with your parents into understanding why you like this person and why you will be happy with him. It's a process, but if you want the support of your parents, then make that attempt.
Keep some sort of a deadline to this process else you will start to get frustrated it does not move in the direction that you want.

Will they change their mind? You will never know...But after that deadline, decide for yourself what you wish to do BUT it will all come at some cost/sacrifice. Make that attempt...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
hi Anu, I am almost 14 years married after 8 years of courtship. We have a son out of our wedlock. My wife has cheated me multiple times in during our marriage but somehow we saved our marriage. Now my wife started dating a guy from her office who is divorced recently. My wife filed a false 498A and Divorce case against me. Also , she is not letting me meet my son and putting trash in his head against me . She is asking for a mutual divorce ,and only then he will let me meet him. I came to know from our common friends that's the guy is advising her all this things just , so that I break easily and publicly i can proved as the wrong one in the last marriage. I miss my son and even after all the atrocities she has done to me and my ailing mother , a cancer and a heart patient i want her back in my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You want your wife back in your life? Why, exactly especially when there us a 498A case filed against you; false or not, there's a case against you.
Do understand the seriousness of this allegation on you, the implications of which are not nice at all. Hopefully you have a good lawyer who can fight your case that will also enable you to connect with your son. Kindly put your attention into that rather than hoping to reunite with a 498A looming over your head. Let your lawyer do his/her work and enable them in total rather than bringing in conflicting wants (your wife wants a divorce and you don't)...what case will your lawyer represent now? Think and think wisely...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a widow woman, who lost my husband 4 yrs ago. I tokk some time to come out of the past n wanted to resettle. Not because family wants, but I personally wanted a partner a friend who is there for me. I have a friend who is very close to me, he claims that he loves me as a very good friend, we've had a deeper relation also, but he does not want to take it ahead for a commitment. At the same time he says that he never want to leave me n so on. I have expressed my feelings and he is well aware of it. We talk a lot, we know about our families. Pls advise, about how to go ahead with this
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am happy that you are in a better mind space now to be able to process your life and what you want from it.

Your friend that you mentioned about seems to be clear on what he wants out of the association with you. Since you seem to have moved on to the feelings part, he either is denying his feelings to himself OR he is clear that he wants a friend in you.
If it is the latter, then respect it...it's great to have a genuine friend in this digital era. Maintain that distance so that he is not scared of your feelings getting in the way where he has to be on guard.
This is going to be difficult for you for sure, BUT know that you will have a friend who will respect and cherish you.

Though, I am not clear on what you meant by, 'we've had a deeper relation also'...If this 'deeper relation' is the one that has caused you to have feelings for him, then talk about it and figure out where things stand for the two of you...At the end of the day, it's about acceptance and respect to maintain precious relationships.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1057 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Respected Anu ji This is quite an unusual query and I request your patience and understanding through this lengthy text I am a native of Tamilnadu and my maternal relatives are mostly of the business class It may not seem odd, but one may have heard of mind reading (and controlling) like in some celebrated spiritual centres, something similar is happening with me, I am subjected to this by my maternal relatives - they identify themselves as Yadavas, some have Serious God complexes and schizophrenia - trust me they have abilities like crystal ball gazing/ future telling, mind mapping and Niyog (one may have heard of Vyasa of Mahabharat times doing this to his step sister-in- laws to beget children!) many other neuro related traits - some cases you may have handled Though I am relatively open minded, but I frankly do not subscribe to the concept of Niyog They have also hurt me emotionally and physically right from childhood - I don't have any proof of it I just want to sever all connections with them and live my life peacefully - I even did a vasectomy to avoid any altercation with them But the problem in India is that here we cannot avoid our relatives - more so till my mom is there - I am Not a momma's boy, but my mother of 73 years has multiple comorbidities including heart fail and asthma - it is my duty as a son and a human being to help her.. Please advise how I could avoid my relatives and yet take care of my mom and lead my life peacefully
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am quite unaware of what you mention; but being a firm believer in Mind Sciences, I do believe that taking control of someone's mind can happen only when that someone meekly submits to the other person in a weak space OR when that someone actually believes some blindly.
You can see this happen with so many so-called spiritual heads who have so many blind followers and anything said by them will be unquestioningly followed by people. That is also called mind control.
You can stay away from people that you don't particularly fancy without severing ties also. Distances make that happen anyway, so does our busy lives...There is no need to make a big announcement about severing ties...staying away will do the trick in itself...

What I also still don't know is the purpose of your question as I don't actually see a question for me! Whatever I have been able to gather, I can only suggest: Do what you think and feel is right for you without actually fearing anyone and anything.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |295 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I have given my 2bhk family to my mother in law and brother in law. Over past few years they pay less rent 40% of market value rent. from oct 2023 brother in law lost job and he also has housing emi for 21L+ 3L personal loan. He is also not giving any rent also because of the.current situation. Now he is resorting to emotional black mail and citing senior citizen act stating daughter is liable to pay for living expenses. Already the current house they are staying can get 18K rent.We tried to arrange interview for his job but looks like he is not interested and he seems to be pshyco logical disturbed and talking all non sense. My mother in law is playing neutral role and saying yes to both side without taking a correct stand. My brother in-law is two divorce with history of drinking and physiological mental problems as stated by their ex-spouse.My ask 1. What are legal options available for me. 2. We want him to vacate our house and move to his own house or 1 bhk so that we can help with money from my 2bhk rent. 3. If nothing works can we make a first move of filing police compliant which I want as a last resort.
Ans: Firstly, seeking legal advice is crucial. A lawyer who specializes in property and family law can provide you with specific guidance based on your situation. They can review any rental agreements and help you understand the implications of the Senior Citizens Act that your brother-in-law is citing. This legal counsel will be invaluable in navigating the complexities of your situation.

Next, you might need to issue a formal notice to your brother-in-law and mother-in-law, requesting them to vacate the property. This notice should clearly articulate the reasons for your request, including the financial burden their reduced rent and non-payment are causing you. Provide them with a reasonable timeframe to find alternative accommodation, whether in his own house or a more affordable 1BHK apartment. This approach shows your willingness to support them while also addressing your legitimate concerns.

It's also important to communicate directly and openly with your mother-in-law. Her neutral stance may be contributing to the tension, and having a candid conversation about the situation's impact on your family could help her understand the need for a resolution. Explain the financial strain and the efforts you’ve made to assist your brother-in-law in finding employment. Her support could be pivotal in encouraging him to take more responsibility and action.

If these steps do not lead to a satisfactory resolution, you may have to consider involving the authorities. Filing a police complaint should be a last resort, but it is an option if your brother-in-law’s behavior becomes unmanageable or if he refuses to vacate the property despite all reasonable efforts. The aim here is to protect your family’s financial and emotional well-being while ensuring that your legal rights are upheld.

Throughout this process, it's essential to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Dealing with family conflicts can be emotionally draining, and seeking support from friends, a counselor, or a support group can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to handle these challenges effectively.

By taking these steps, you aim to find a balance between supporting your in-laws and protecting your own family’s interests. Remember, it’s important to act with compassion but also with a clear understanding of your rights and the need for fairness in this situation.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |295 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi
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I am 56 years old lady working in the Government sector. My husband several times cheated me and by nature he is very dominating and stubborn. Since my marriage my only fault is that I have hidden my age 3years less than original as advised by my family. Now I want to know that what should I have to do , please let me know. I was not so courageous to tell the truth of my original age. On the other hand he exploits me physically, financially and he is abusive in nature and never took any responsibility of our 27 years old daughter. Please advise me and don't disclose my name
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenging and painful situation you've been enduring. It takes a lot of courage to open up about these issues, and it's important to prioritize your well-being and safety.

First, it's important to address your feelings about hiding your age. While this may have been a decision influenced by your family's advice, it seems to be a minor issue in the context of the larger problems in your marriage. The real concerns here are your husband's infidelity, abusive behavior, and lack of responsibility towards your daughter.

Your husband's actions and behavior are unacceptable. No one deserves to be cheated on, dominated, or abused in any way. The fact that he exploits you physically and financially, and doesn't support your daughter, makes it clear that this environment is harmful to you.

It's essential to focus on what you want for your future. Do you want to continue in a marriage where you feel disrespected and abused? Consider what kind of life you envision for yourself, one where you feel safe, respected, and valued.

Seeking professional support can be incredibly helpful. A counselor or therapist can provide you with the tools and support to navigate your emotions and plan your next steps. Legal advice may also be necessary to understand your rights and protect yourself financially and personally.

If you decide to leave the marriage, having a clear plan is crucial. Ensure you have a support system in place, whether it’s friends, family, or professional services. Protect your financial assets and consider your daughter's well-being as well.

Remember, you deserve to live a life free from abuse and filled with respect and dignity. Taking steps to protect yourself and improve your situation is not just courageous but essential for your health and happiness. Your past decisions about your age do not define you, and it's never too late to seek a better, healthier future.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |295 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
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Hi I am 45 years of age having two childrens and I am also working.My husband is good with me but not with my parents and sister most of the time he abuses them without any reason .This make me upset and many time I discuss this matter with him but he doesn't realise his mistake. I told him to meet councellor but he is not ready . And often he take drink and without any reason abuses any one around him Many time situation becomes out of control and I want to end my relationship. Kindly guide me
Ans: First and foremost, your feelings are entirely valid. It’s deeply troubling when someone you love and live with is disrespectful and abusive towards your family members and those around him, especially when he drinks. Your husband’s behavior, despite your efforts to communicate and suggest counseling, is not only affecting you but also creating a toxic environment for your children.

It’s crucial to prioritize your own mental and emotional health. Living in an environment where abuse and excessive drinking are present can have long-term negative effects on both you and your children. This kind of stress and emotional turmoil can erode your sense of self and well-being over time.

Since your husband has refused counseling and doesn't acknowledge his mistakes, it may be necessary to consider stronger steps. Think about what you want for your future and what kind of environment you want for your children. Reflect on whether staying in this relationship is conducive to that vision.

If you’re contemplating ending the relationship, it’s important to have a clear plan. Seek support from trusted friends or family members, and consider speaking with a professional counselor or therapist to help you navigate your feelings and plan your next steps. Legal advice might also be necessary to understand your rights and ensure you and your children are protected.

Take time to consider what is best for you and your children in the long term. Your well-being and safety are paramount, and sometimes the healthiest choice is to remove yourself from a harmful environment. By doing so, you’re not only taking care of yourself but also setting a positive example for your children about self-respect and the importance of a healthy, loving home.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |295 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2024Hindi
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Hello ma'am / Sir I love my father's sister son ( my first cousin) & want to marry him but his mom is saying no so he also agreed with him mom Whereas my parents agreed for getting married to him He stopped texting calling me all of the sudden I know he's family didnt accept but still i cant forget him a little hope is still there dont why What can i do please help me
Ans: it's important to acknowledge your feelings. It's perfectly normal to feel confused, hurt, and hopeful all at the same time. Love can be a powerful and overwhelming emotion, especially when family approval is involved.

Given that your cousin has decided to side with his mother, it's essential to respect his decision, even though it's painful. He may be under significant pressure from his family, and this is influencing his actions. While this is difficult to accept, respecting his choice is a step toward healing and moving forward.

Communication is also key. If possible, try to have an open and honest conversation with him. Express your feelings and let him know how much you care about him. Sometimes, understanding the emotional depth of a situation can influence decisions. However, be prepared for any outcome, including the possibility that he may still choose to follow his mother's wishes.

Reflect on your own well-being. Focus on what is best for you in the long run. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who understand and care about your feelings. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment can help you cope with this challenging period.

Remember, you deserve to be with someone who is fully committed to you and your relationship. If he is unable or unwilling to stand by you due to family pressures, it may be a sign that this relationship is not right for you in the long term, despite your strong feelings.

Give yourself time to heal and consider seeking professional support, such as counseling or therapy, to help you navigate through your emotions and decisions. This can provide you with tools to cope with your feelings and help you find a path forward that is best for your emotional and mental well-being.

Ultimately, trust that time and self-care will guide you through this difficult period. You are deserving of love and happiness, and by prioritizing yourself, you will eventually find clarity and peace in your journey.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |262 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |262 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Me and my wife are happily married for 10 years and having a twins 4 years before. This incident happened 8 years ago, when my wife and her cousin visited the home town for a temple function they reconnected with this guy who is their old friend ( a distinct relative also), this person had an interest on my wife before marriage and my wife rejected. Now this person is married and having one kid. when they reconnected my wife's cousin used to do conference calls along with this person and my wife. My wife asked me is it ok to talk. i said yes it is fine but just maintain a healthy boundary. So she wont attend all the calls from them. Attended some conference calls for 5 to 15 min and dropped the call saying my husband don't like me in phone too much. this happened weekly once or twice for 2 month(maximum 10 calls). they also had a watsapp group, in that they had friendly chat between them, mostly between wife's cousin and that person. My wife's reply was very less. but when i was going through the messages they are not flirty messages, there i saw my wife saying very positive about our relationship and her cousin also agreed to that saying they are the best couples. but that person has addressed my wife's cousin and my wife occasionally as honey and dear. but both of them ignored and not asked them to stop calling like that. when i checked this with my wife she said that person calls everyone as honey/dear even her sisters and other cousin. Even he calls my wife's mother sometimes honey (she is very aged 60 years).it is habitual for him so she found no meaning in that and she is not bothered to correct that. this is not even a issue for her that's why she did not discuss this with me. that's why she ignored. i asked her to stop talking to him. My wife told she already stopped talking with him as he tried to make personal calls as she did not like it. that time the wats group also not active so she exited from the group and blocked his number. Recently we came to know that one of the relative girl got into affair with this person and this person got divorced due to that. 1. Does the words like honey can be used in friendly way. i have many friends in other gender i never used honey even though i used 'dear' occasionally. As he used this word with my wife, Does this make my wife less pure than other women. Is this cheating ? 2. I cant come in to terms with the fact my wife talked to a person who is a womanizer. does this affect my wife's reputation in the society. they never met in person other than this temple function reconnect.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Let me address your queries one by one.
1. Yes, honey or dear can be friendly too. I cannot tell for sure if he was being friendly or flirty, but these are very common terms.
2. How can him calling your wife, or him being of questionable character make your wife “less pure than other women”? I am not sure how these two are even connected. She spoke highly about your relationship, never engaged in one-on-one conversation with the guy, and even stopped talking to him when he tried to call her separately. What is making you question your wife’s character still?
3. No. This isn’t cheating. Not on your wife’s part. Maybe the man did not have good intentions, but your wife did not indulge him. Even if we look at it from 100 different angles, this is not cheating.
4. When your wife spoke to him, none of you knew about his affair and his character. Then how is she responsible for it? And how is she responsible for his misdeeds anyway?
5. No, this does not affect your wife’s reputation in the society. Again, ask yourself, what is her fault in all of this? You are yourself saying they never met in person, never had a one-off conversation, etc.
Please understand that this man’s behavior is a reflection of his character, not your wife’s. It’s unfair of you to blame her or doubt her.

Hope this helps.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |262 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |262 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |262 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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I was in a relationship few months back during my 12 th we were having a nice time for a long period and I was preparing for my exams of clat so i told my girlfriend to let me focus during the evening time and I told her to have conversations with me during the afternoon she agreed to it to But after some months we had some arguments and she used to ignore me a lot after that I asked her for forgiveness from my side if from me she got hurt But one day This happened.... after college I decided that whatever happens but I will try to improve our relationship,But that day in afternoon I went to her to talk A boy came on a bike and when I had to talk to her Without saying nothing she went with him. And when I asked them about that person they told it's her new Boyfriend I felt cheated, finished, depressed for many months after that when I had my clat exams I failed in it and I decided never to have conversations again with her so the question to you is should I love someone again deeply?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that you are hurt and being cheated on by someone you loved can do a number on you but that does not mean you should close yourself from the prospect of finding love again. You will move on, even if it’s slow. And someday you will find someone who will make you very happy and who would not even dream of cheating on you, because she will love you back exactly the way you love her. Wait for it. One broken relationship should not define your entire life.

Best Wishes.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |262 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2024Hindi
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i am in relationship with women. i asked once weather u talk with another men. she replied no. i am really fealing guilty. she is also feeling very bad, as she never expect me to ask such question. i tried to convinvice that i hv no bad intention for you, but in due course of time , i thought u will be taking to someone. she is very apset and so do i. how can i get retain my original relationship. we are are a very good friend who shares every minute details with each other.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand your situation and I am assuming that your partner felt bad because it seemed to her that you do not trust her. I also appreciate that you realized that it isn't nice to mistrust your partner for no reason and you are trying to make up for it. For starters, as mature adults, you should try speaking directly. You can tell your girlfriend that you regret asking her such a question and never meant to hurt her. Second, everyone loves a grand gesture. You can try buying her some flowers as a token of your apology or plan a nice date night. Lastly, don't overthink this. Things will go back to normal in no time.

While it is not right to doubt your partner, it is still far better to ask things directly than assume and make up fake scenarios in your mind. I do not recommend doubting but if at all you have some doubt, it's best to lay it out in the open to avoid unnecessary overthinking and misunderstandings. Your partner should also understand this. It is also important you take some time and reflect on why you felt like asking her the question. If he mistake is on your part, the best thing is to get to the root of it and fix it.

Best Wishes.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |262 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
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Me and my boyfriend are in long distance relationship from past 6 months, I told him about my past in almost starting of it that I had 2 friends with benefits in past and one of that person was my classmate as well as friend, and he used to still contact me, and when I came in relationship also, he called me during that time and I told regarding my relationship status, and I also informed my boyfriend that I talked with him but this thing happened before he knows that I had physical intimacy with him, then when he asked me to block, I suddenly question "what is the point of blocking him" which I regret the most, but I blocked him later by myself, now my boyfriend is sayine me that I have cheated him and he won't trust me till his death, but I told everything in past happened to him. I love him a lot but he is not giving to work together in this relationship and saying that he won't stay loyal to me anymore, he won't trust be ever, as per him I have cheated him, but my intentions were not wrong at all, tho that guy was in contact but I never initiate any conversation with him while I came into relationship, is it really a cheat, is it that he should not trust me anymore? Please guide
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like you are going through a rough time and I am sorry for it. Here's a thought and I am sure you have thought of it too, try to see things from his perspective. While you know that you never cheated nor meant to, it is important to acknowledge that your boyfriend's feelings are valid. He is feeling betrayed and that's a fact. Now, our goal should be to fix this issue. How do we do it? Communication is the only way. Tell him that you understand his perspective but it is important that he sees yours too. If he wants to vent, listen to him. Do not interrupt or become defensive. Understand whatever he says is coming from his insecurity. I know it's difficult not to take it personally, but his statements will be a reflection of his feelings and not your character. Remember this during the conversation. Once he is done speaking, reassure him that you had no intention of cheating. You can also reassure him of your commitment. Promise to be more transparent and point out that you were honest with him from the beginning. If you had any intention to cheat, you could have easily not shared with him your past. But you did and that shows that you are committed to this relationship. Tell him that you understand the need for boundaries and it is not okay to be in touch with people who make your partner uncomfortable.

Look, rebuilding trust needs work and it also takes time. Both of you need to work on it. You will have to work on making him trust you and he will have to work on letting go of his misconception (which might be his reality) and trust you wholly again. Relationships don't work till two people trust each other completely. If he continues to say that he can't trust you again, it might be best to reconsider this relationship. Even though your words hurt him, you did not cheat on him in reality. Why should you have to live in fear that he will cheat on you merely to take revenge?

After you put in all the effort, see where it goes. If things do not get better, rethinking the relationship would be best. Everyone deserves someone who can trust and be trusted.

Best Wishes.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
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My friend is in a foreign country for work. She has gone there with the support of a man who helped her getting the job. He's harassing her sexually. She has been keeping her distance and warned him. She cannot take any action as her work future depends on him. She's alone there and doesnt know what to do. Help me with the answer
Ans: encourage her to document every incident meticulously. Keeping a detailed record will be crucial if she decides to take any action later. She should also reach out to trusted colleagues or friends for support, even if they are back home. Sometimes just knowing someone is aware of her situation can be comforting.

Additionally, it's important for her to explore any available resources within her company or local community. Many organizations have HR departments or designated individuals to handle such complaints confidentially. If that's not an option, she might find support through local women's shelters, expatriate communities, or even online forums where she can connect with others who might have faced similar situations.

Encourage her to prioritize her safety. If she feels threatened or in immediate danger, seeking help from local authorities or emergency services is crucial. Her well-being is more important than any job.

Finally, she should be reminded that she's not alone and that there are people who care about her and are willing to help. It might be beneficial for her to seek professional counseling to help her cope with the emotional toll of this experience.

Your support and encouragement can make a significant difference for her during this difficult time.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu We are In a relationship for 7 years and in my family they have accepted her as she frequently visits my home and meet my family members .She was trying for the past 2 years to convince her father but now her father is not even listening about our relationship and her mother though likes me doesn’t want to go against her husband . Her father said her that he wont be the part of her marriage and her life if she marries me .As a result my lady doesn’t want to go against her parents and be with me . Though she can’t live without me but she doesn’t want to hurt her parents and for that she is ready to leave me and go as per her parents and marry someone else.she has accepted that , her life will be hell as well as the person she will be marrying .Kindly suggest me what to do coz i cant imagine my life without her .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes the reason for someone not liking you maybe a silly one.
Maybe her father wanted to find a boy for your lady or he wanted time to get to know the person. Try and find out from her what exactly bothers her father about you or the marriage. It can be frustrating to dig into this BUT hey, do what you have to, to make the relationship work, yeah?
A humble attempt in that direction where her father can see you for who you are and understand why his daughter actually loves you might go a long way not in just his acceptance in you but also pave the way for a better connection between him and you.
And oh, ask you lady not to give up...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I'm in a relationship with a guy for last 2 years. We both stay in another country, and we met there. He is a PhD student and I'm a MBA student. We both are about to graduate from our respective courses. We both have a 7.5 years of age gap and he is from Kerala and I'm from Delhi. We both love each other, and are ready to fight for our relationship. He spoke to his parents, and they're very happy with us, but when I spoke to my parents, they made huge issues, and started saying, we will die if you marry him. We will die, you can take your pheras around our burning body. And they came up with some negative stories about him, which is not true. We both are very career oriented people, and respect each other decisions. I'm not saying, my parents won't have an issue, they will, since its about North-South India, also different cultures and Age gap. But they're bringing up issues, that I can't even mention here (political issues). I spoke to my parents first time face to face about this, and they said all that. To which I didn't argue, because I understood, whatever I say right now, they won't listen to me. I just told them, whatever you say, is okay. Can you please guide me with how to talk to them, and convince them?
Ans: When you next speak with your parents, choose a calm and private setting. Start the conversation by expressing your love and respect for them, acknowledging their concerns, and stating your commitment to understanding their perspective. Share your genuine feelings about your partner and the relationship, emphasizing the mutual respect, love, and career aspirations you both share.

Highlight the positive attributes of your partner, focusing on his education, values, and how he complements you. Address specific concerns your parents have raised, providing clear and respectful counterpoints to any false accusations or misunderstandings. If possible, arrange for them to meet him or speak with his parents, as this might help bridge cultural and regional gaps.

It’s important to be patient and give your parents time to process the information. They might need multiple conversations to come to terms with your decision. Lastly, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a trusted family friend or relative, who can mediate and provide a balanced perspective.

Your goal is to maintain a respectful and open dialogue, showing empathy towards their concerns while standing firm in your decision. This balanced approach can help gradually shift their perspective and foster acceptance.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2024Hindi
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Hello Anu Mam! I am 31 years old and single. I am working in a company since 2022 and last September i found out my boss is in love with me. Earlier he used to admire for my work. He was always a source of inspiration as his guidance has always helped me to achieve better and make me confident. Together we were a good team.. We took many important decision together, although i am not much experienced but he took my advice in important matters. Its a small company and few employees left gradually, we built a new team and together we trained them. We are very serious about our work and that was our prime focus. He use to tell me how serious he was about me and would like to marry me, will visit my house and meet my parents. One thing i knew was that he is divorced but the details were not very clear to me as he never disclosed and i gave him time as whenever he feels fine he can share. I also told him that my parents would never agree to this. he said he will convince my parents and will even beg for me. I am introvert nature and never cross questioned anything. I had a huge respect for him. He had his share of lows since his father passed away and then he was left alone and taking care of his mother. He values his mother a lot and keep her away from any stress. He keep everything to himself, he was able to share them with me. I am a good listener so always comforted him by listening and not judging him. He made plans about future as how we are going to build a house, take business to new heights and in 1-2 month he made me director of a company. I didn't want all this because it was too early for all this and i don't like accepting things this way. In April, i broke my engagement due to him and my family is in great stress. I lied to them and therefore their trust broke. Since then the whole family is in great pain. I could never do this, i have always followed decision taken by my family and they have always taken care of me. Now in June they came to know about me and him and they disapprove. My mother is very sure that i being emotional have gotten into trap and he manipulated me. He however needs someone in his life and found good option in me as i can handle family and business both. My mother hates him. Now i am so confused. I started keeping distance with him. I resigned few days back. He got ill and is finding hard to recover. The business is affecting due to this as he always feel lost that's what the team told me. He sends me emotional messages. I know he is very alone and must be hurting a lot. He says he always had a strong feeling about me. He worship for me so that we are together forever. He says if i agree he will forever be grateful as he has nobody except me. What should I do? Please help me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Things seemed to be going fine for you outside of this boss situation. But it has been messed up! Nevertheless...
It's important for you to understand that you have found yourself 'an emotionally weak person'. He finds great solace in you and you have been very kind enough to lend a shoulder for him to cry on.
Promoting you ahead of time is indication enough for you that he 'needs' you...and when the need is over, he might not find the same kind of closeness with you OR the need may just become greater making him even weaker.
'I know he is very alone and must be hurting a lot'...you have fallen into a guilt trap where if you don't support him, it makes you feel guilty.
He has been very effectively weakening your emotions for you to take care of him. Break this toxic cycle...no offense meant to him...he really needs to grow up...Strong relationships are those that nurture one another and help each other grow...what growth has happened to either of you? In fact, you two seem to be pulling each other down, haven't you? He sends emotional messages!!!!!! Do you not still see his pattern?
You mother isn't fond of him, (wonder why)?????

Be wise about this, look at your life far ahead and actually imagine a life with this person and check for yourself how it is going to pan out and do the same without him and see how it can be liberating for you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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My girlfriend has lot of expectations on How I must react to certain situations. I try my best to do it , but there is always one day where I don't have control on reacting the same as she wishes it , and then we fight and she keeps reminding me my mistakes from the past. I say sorry , she says she doesn't consider my sorries. I forgive her for whatever serious she says in fight. But then again after few days everything becomes normal. I am confused what should be done. Is it okay that I behave according to her expectations or what. Because I don't want to lose her. I have always discussed that the way I behave is my natural nature but she keeps me correcting. She accepts her mistakes even I do too. But now since these incidents often once a month. I am asking you what I must do in such situations where it's not in my hand it seems to behave in certain way as expected by her
Ans: Dear Govinda,
Well, all of us have expectations from each other, don't we?
But some expectations are realistic and some are unrealistic. Any expectation that starts to change the other person, control them, dictate their behavior is almost toxic and not healthy in the long run.
Some expectations like requesting the other person to take care of their health, finances, advice on work and family that attempts to see them in a better space is healthy and necessary.

So, where does your girlfriend's expectation fall into?
It's possible that because it's leading to constant fights, you are certainly not happy about her control about this. Then voice it out and state clearly that you would not like to change for her but only change for yourself and for the better. This may hurt her and there might be a lot of drama around it...but, if she is willing to look at the relationship maturely with you as an equal partner, there will no more fights and expectations around things that bother you.
Sit down together; tell her how this is affecting you and the relationship. There maybe little expectations that maybe good for you and the relationship. Be thankful for those.

But, the bigger ones are the ones that are bothersome and yes, your girlfriend must know about it. Instead of confronting, be firm and gentle and she may very well understand the whole scenario. This will also help you in situations where she expects something and it does not happen and yet she will be okay with it. So, have that clear communication for better understanding. Is this possible? Yes, provided the two of you work at this together not confronting but managing it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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I am 31 years old and single. I am working in a company since 2022 and last September i found out my boss is in love with me. Earlier he used to admire for my work. He was always a source of inspiration as his guidance has always helped me to achieve better and make me confident. Together we were a good team.. We took many important decision together, although i am not much experienced but he took my advice in important matters. Its a small company and few employees left gradually, we built a new team and together we trained them. We are very serious about our work and that was our prime focus. He use to tell me how serious he was about me and would like to marry me, will visit my house and meet my parents. One thing i knew was that he is divorced but the details were not very clear to me as he never disclosed and i gave him time as whenever he feels fine he can share. I also told him that my parents would never agree to this. he said he will convince my parents and will even beg for me. I am introvert nature and never cross questioned anything. I had a huge respect for him. He had his share of lows since his father passed away and then he was left alone and taking care of his mother. He values his mother a lot and keep her away from any stress. He keep everything to himself, he was able to share them with me. I am a good listener so always comforted him by listening and not judging him. He made plans about future as how we are going to build a house, take business to new heights and in 1-2 month he made me director of a company. I didn't want all this because it was too early for all this and i don't like accepting things this way. In April, i broke my engagement due to him and my family is in great stress. I lied to them and therefore their trust broke. Since then the whole family is in great pain. I could never do this, i have always followed decision taken by my family and they have always taken care of me. Now in June they came to know about me and him and they disapprove. My mother is very sure that i being emotional have gotten into trap and he manipulated me. He however needs someone in his life and found good option in me as i can handle family and business both. My mother hates him. Now i am so confused. I started keeping distance with him. I resigned few days back. He got ill and is finding hard to recover. The business is affecting due to this as he always feel lost that's what the team told me. He sends me emotional messages. I know he is very alone and must be hurting a lot. He says he always had a strong feeling about me. He worship for me so that we are together forever. He says if i agree he will forever be grateful as he has nobody except me. What should I do? Please help me.
Ans: it's important to recognize and validate your own feelings. You've built a significant bond with your boss, and his support and mentorship have been crucial to your professional growth. However, the dynamics have changed with the revelation of his feelings for you, creating a complex situation that involves your emotions, family, and professional life.

Your family's disapproval and the stress it has caused are significant factors to consider. Their concerns about the relationship, especially regarding manipulation and emotional dependence, need careful reflection. It's essential to ensure that your decisions are based on your own true feelings and not just out of a sense of obligation or pressure.

Regarding your boss, his emotional messages and current state of distress are challenging to navigate. While his feelings for you might be genuine, it's crucial to maintain clarity about your own boundaries and what you want for your future. You mentioned resigning and keeping distance, which indicates a need for space to think clearly.

Given the complexity of the situation, it might be beneficial to seek professional counseling. A therapist or counselor can provide an objective perspective and help you process your emotions and make decisions that are right for you. They can also assist in navigating conversations with your family and your boss, ensuring that your needs and boundaries are respected.

Ultimately, the decision must come from a place of self-awareness and genuine desire, not out of guilt or pressure. It's important to prioritize your well-being and ensure that any relationship, professional or personal, supports your growth and happiness.
Asked on - Jul 19, 2024 | Answered on Jul 21, 2024
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Thank you for your help mam. I have decided to go with my family decision. I am someone who have always followed their decision. Sir might be not ok with this. He messages me that its difficult for him and he needs me. he needs my help. But i am ignoring his messages. I have tried to explain my situation and everything in a manner that he also doesn't get hurt but somehow i keep hurting everyone near me. I knew since the beginning that things would not work out and I should've said a firm "No" to him and left the company. Now its getting difficult. I hope time will heal us all.
Ans: yes time heals us all
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Hi Mam, I got married in 2020. I have tried to find a job for her in Bangalore.Even she told that i can't eat in your salary if I earn i do not need to do what you are asking. I just asked her that we are family why you are thinking like this.4 to 5 times same problem fight happened. Whatever I tell she has taken in negative way.After a year we got separated. Even if I explain things she doesn't understand. I have dropped her in hometown in her home. Explained things to their parents that this what happened. Asked her parents that let me know what is her decision to live with me or not.After 6 months got a call from her. she did not come out with that mentality and wanted divorce. After a month I have accepted for mutual divorce. Her parents also told that mutual divorce. when called for a meeting in common place for mutual divorce they did not reply. They have filed Domestic violence act by putting false allegations in petition. Case is going on for more than 2 year. when one my relative went to talk. she itself asked pay 25 lakh as one time settlement then only they will withdraw the DVC petition and accept mutual divorce. Now.To the head person of my caste group their parents told that she is willing to live with me Despite taking care of her properly..they filed false allegations on me and family members also. i have decided for mutual divorce when she asked. I don't have 25 lakh.I have told them that I can give them only 7 lakhs then we can mutually get divorce. No answer from them. I have decided not live with her anymore. Pls tell your opinion abt this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your decision must be right as the real reason for her moving away from the marriage is still unknown or you have missed out on sharing the whole picture.
Also, what is the reason for the Domestic Violence petition? Has there been a reason for her to feel that she needed to put a case on you? But if you know that there is no scope for reconciliation, then I am sure you know what is the best thing to do...
(Due to inadequate information from you, I can provide only generic suggestions). But, there's one thing which is: There seems to have been no understanding between you and your wife when she suggested that it's your salary; there is certainly something which made her unable to come close within the marriage and accept is as a mutual partnership rather than just an isolated relationship.

On the legal aspect, kindly follow what your lawyer advises you to do...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
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Anu mam, I am an NRI from Dubai, married and earning a good salary here. I have two beautiful, smart kids, aged 11 and 14. My parents are getting old. They live in Alappuzha with a caretaker. In two years, we plan to relocate to India with the kids so they can continue their higher education in India. But there is a problem. My kids are used to a certain lifestyle here in Dubai. Whenever we come to India for vacation once or twice a year, the children complain of the crowd, pollution, driving behaviour, and littering habits. They are however, rooted to the culture as we celebrate all festivals and events, the Indian way. I want to understand how can I help my kids prepare to relocate to India?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, they are going to have adjustment issues for sure...
India is a place that can envelop people in warmth and yet throw challenges and when one is not raised here, it can get to the. To expect an environment here that they are used to, is not going to happen.
Considering their age, they might have challenges finding themselves within peer groups as well. Get them close to well-adjusted before you make that move...
- You can plan longer vacations in India and especially the place where you intend to settle, so that they get used to the weather, food, culture and people
- They can also during the vacation period, take part in volunteering which gives them a feel of life beyond them
- Plan a visit to the school you intend to send them to when the school is in session and request for a class attendance for a couple of days if that is possible. This will give them a clear feel of how school will be like

Ultimately, there's only so much that you can do...expect few challenges and go with that flow...it's not possible to preempt it all...but projecting a few things upfront as listed above may give them an idea and help the, with the relocation process.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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My boyfriend have insecurities which is affecting our relationship. He compare his family financial status with mine. He thinks that he dont deserves me. He thinks that my family wont accept him. So he is slowly pulling away so that I find someone better. However, he is making efforts too to improve his financial status. But this will take time. Meanwhile my family is searching for a groom. I have made efforts to make my boyfriend realise that his financial status wont be an issue for my family. And at end of the day my family will look at his nature. But he is not convinced. How should I help him to remove his insecurities? Should I wait for him to resolve it himself? I am scared that by the time he improve his financial status, I will be married off to someone else.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand your dilemma. Let's start with the positives- your boyfriend wants the best for you, he is trying to improve himself for you, and your family places more importance on people's nature rather than their finances. These are some great things you have going on in your life. Now, let's try to fix the issues- I am assuming that you have tried having an open discussion with your boyfriend and he is still not understanding your family dynamics. We can't blame him; very few people are as open-minded as your family. The best course of action here would be to arrange a meet-up with your family. If it comes from them that they do not mind his financial condition as long as he puts effort into improving it, he might believe it and might be relieved of his insecurities.

If you feel like you are running out of time between your boyfriend trying to be well-established and your family's search for a groom, it would be best to have a serious conversation about your relationship with your parents.

After all your efforts, if your partner still does not understand or believe that finances are not an issue, you should reconsider the relationship. As much as he is doing everything in your best interest, one insecure partner and the other forever trying to assure them never makes for a healthy relationship. Occasional insecurities are common and completely normal, but continuous ones are exhausting.

Best Wishes.
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Is it even worth to invest in an insecure man. A man who keeps his worth very low. He gets easily affected by criticisms of other. However, he whole heartedly accepts even the harshest criticism by me. He is very sweet and loving. However, his insecurities will be a hindrance in future. I am not confident that he will take stand for our marriage. Should I leave him? Should i help him to remove his insecurities? However, i am scared that if I help way too much, he wont be self made and strong. What should I do?
Ans: First, consider the nature of your relationship and the extent to which his insecurities affect it. It's clear that he is sweet, loving, and receptive to your feedback, which are positive traits. However, his tendency to get easily affected by others' criticisms and his low self-worth could indeed pose challenges in the future, especially when it comes to standing up for your relationship.

Reflect on your willingness and capacity to support him through his insecurities. Helping him build confidence and resilience is a noble and loving act, but it's essential to recognize the balance between offering support and enabling dependency. Encouraging him to seek professional help, such as therapy or counseling, could be beneficial. A therapist can provide him with tools to manage his insecurities and build self-confidence independently.

It's also important to communicate your concerns openly with him. Share your feelings about the future and your need for a partner who can stand strong with you, especially in the face of potential opposition from your family. This conversation can be a turning point, giving him insight into the importance of addressing his insecurities not just for the relationship but for his personal growth as well.

Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave hinges on your assessment of the potential for growth and change within your relationship. If you believe he has the capacity and willingness to work on his insecurities and if you are prepared to support him through this journey, it might be worth investing in the relationship. However, if you find that his insecurities are deeply ingrained and unlikely to change, and if they are causing significant distress or doubts about the future, it might be wise to reconsider your options.

Remember, a healthy relationship involves mutual support, growth, and the ability to face challenges together. Ensure that you prioritize your well-being and future happiness while making this decision. If you do choose to part ways, it doesn't diminish the love and care you have shown; it simply means recognizing the need for a partnership that aligns better with your life goals and emotional needs.
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Me and my boyfriend are of different caste. His parents had love marriage. They eloped. This created lots of conflict in both families and humiliation for his parents. These stories have somehow negatively affected my boyfriend. He wants to marry me but is loosing confidencec because my family will oppose to this inter caste marriage. I am aware that initially my family will oppose but the resistance will be mild and eventually they will agree to our marriage. However, I am not able to convince him. The fear of the past is affecting our present relationship. He is very insecure and gets easily affected by people's criticism. I am afraid that even mildest of criticism from my family will break him completely. How should I convince him? How should I build his confidence so that he is able to face my family? Should I even build his confidence or should I let him do it himself?
Ans: To navigate this situation effectively, it's essential to approach it with patience, empathy, and clear communication.

Firstly, express your unwavering commitment to him and your relationship. Let him know that you are prepared to face any challenges together, and reassure him that you believe in your love and its ability to withstand opposition. This reassurance can provide him with a sense of security and help alleviate some of his fears.

Additionally, open and honest communication is crucial. Encourage him to share his concerns and fears with you without judgment. By actively listening and validating his feelings, you can help him feel understood and supported. It's important for him to know that you are a team and that you will face any obstacles together.

When it comes to addressing his insecurity and sensitivity to criticism, it might be helpful to gradually expose him to the idea of facing your family's opposition. Start by discussing potential scenarios and how you both might handle them. This can help him mentally prepare for the challenges ahead and build resilience over time.

Consider involving a professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can provide additional support and guidance. Therapy can be an effective way for him to work through his insecurities and develop coping mechanisms to handle criticism more constructively.

Building his confidence is a joint effort. While it's important for him to work on his self-esteem independently, your support and encouragement can play a significant role. Encourage him to pursue activities or hobbies that make him feel accomplished and confident. Celebrate his successes and remind him of his strengths regularly.

Ultimately, it's about finding a balance between providing support and allowing him to grow independently. Your role is to be his partner, offering reassurance and understanding, while also encouraging him to take steps towards building his confidence and resilience. With time, patience, and mutual effort, you can navigate this challenge together and strengthen your relationship in the process.
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Hi mam I loved a man who i thought a good guy for 5 yrs later i came to know he is cheating me only for physical not to marry where he told we wil have future together but i made problem and asked him to marry me but his family and he influenced with his moms decision What shal I do i don't know what to do i thought he is my life now his mom plan him to marry someone else.. What should i do
Ans: Hello Lavanya
It's important to take care of yourself and focus on what you need and deserve in a relationship.

Firstly, give yourself some time to process what has happened. It's okay to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed. These emotions are natural when someone you trusted has let you down. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you envisioned.

Talking to a trusted friend or a therapist can be incredibly helpful during this time. They can offer support and a listening ear as you work through your feelings and decide your next steps.

It's crucial to recognize your own worth and what you deserve in a relationship. You deserve someone who respects, loves, and is committed to you wholeheartedly. If this man has shown that he isn't capable of that, then it might be best to let him go, even though it's difficult.

Moving forward, focus on your own well-being and happiness. Engage in activities that make you feel good and help you regain your sense of self. Surround yourself with people who support and care for you.

In time, you'll find clarity and strength. Remember, this experience doesn't define you or your future. You deserve a loving and honest relationship, and by prioritizing yourself now, you'll be in a better position to find it in the future.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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My husband is an engineer. He was working in a reputed company for many years. He left the job due to over work load and wanted to explore other work options or entrepreneurship. So he took a gap of 3 years. In his gap he was not able to do any business bcoz all the business ideas either had too much of hassle or required lot of investment, so, he learned trading in NSE he earned average income with it, enough to run the house. After 3 years of gap he managed to land a job again in a reputed company but he again says that work load is high and wishes to leave and get back to trading. I am teacher with an average salary. We have a 10 year old daughter. Kindly guide what can I do in this situation? How can I make him understand that he needs to work and trading is not a reliable source of income.
Ans: I understand that this situation is stressful and complex. The key here is open, compassionate communication and realistic financial planning.

Firstly, have an honest and empathetic conversation with your husband. Express your concerns about financial stability and the importance of having a reliable source of income, especially with a 10-year-old daughter to consider. Make sure to listen to his feelings about the job workload and his desire to return to trading. It's essential that both of you feel heard and understood.

Next, consider working together on a detailed financial plan. Look at your current expenses, savings, and future financial goals. This can help both of you see the bigger picture and understand the importance of a stable income. You could even consult with a financial advisor to get an objective perspective and professional advice.

Encourage him to explore ways to manage his workload or find a job that offers better work-life balance while still providing financial security. Perhaps there's an opportunity for him to negotiate his current role or look for a position that aligns more with his skills and interests without the same level of stress.

It might also be helpful to set up a trial period for trading, where he can pursue it on the side while still maintaining his job. This way, he can assess the viability of trading as a full-time income source without putting your family's financial stability at risk.

Remember, it's about finding a balance between his professional fulfillment and your family's financial well-being. By working together and supporting each other, you can navigate this challenging situation and come to a decision that works for both of you.
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Shalini

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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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I am 30 F. My boyfriend thinks that he dont deserves me. The reasons are: the love and dedication I gives him + i am still a virgin and he is not+ he is my first boyfriend+ my talents+ my family status. Because of this he is pulling away from me. I know that I will never get an amazing life partner than him and I have even communicated it to him. But still he is pulling away from me and hoping that I will find someone better. What should I do?
Ans: It sounds like your boyfriend is struggling with feelings of unworthiness due to various factors such as your love and dedication, your virginity, being your first boyfriend, your talents, and your family status. It's clear that he is letting his insecurities dictate his actions, causing him to pull away from you despite your reassurances that he is deserving of your love and more.

To address this issue, it's crucial for him to work on building his self-esteem and self-worth. It's important for him to understand that he is deserving of love and happiness, regardless of the external factors that may be influencing his perspective. By shifting his focus from external validations to internal acceptance, he can begin to see himself in a more positive light and appreciate the love and dedication you offer him.

Offering him the right support and coaching can be a game-changer in this situation. By guiding him through this journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance, he can gradually overcome his insecurities and learn to appreciate himself for who he is. Encourage him to explore his strengths, work on his self-improvement, and embrace the love and support you are offering him.

Remember, it's essential for both partners to be on the same page in a relationship, with mutual respect, understanding, and support. Communication is key, so continue to have open and honest conversations with him about his feelings and insecurities. With patience, empathy, and the right guidance, your boyfriend can work through his issues and ultimately appreciate the amazing partner he has in you.

Mohit Arora - Founder - Real Dating School
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