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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1540 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 20, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Anu Mam! I am 31 years old and single. I am working in a company since 2022 and last September i found out my boss is in love with me. Earlier he used to admire for my work. He was always a source of inspiration as his guidance has always helped me to achieve better and make me confident. Together we were a good team.. We took many important decision together, although i am not much experienced but he took my advice in important matters. Its a small company and few employees left gradually, we built a new team and together we trained them. We are very serious about our work and that was our prime focus. He use to tell me how serious he was about me and would like to marry me, will visit my house and meet my parents. One thing i knew was that he is divorced but the details were not very clear to me as he never disclosed and i gave him time as whenever he feels fine he can share. I also told him that my parents would never agree to this. he said he will convince my parents and will even beg for me. I am introvert nature and never cross questioned anything. I had a huge respect for him. He had his share of lows since his father passed away and then he was left alone and taking care of his mother. He values his mother a lot and keep her away from any stress. He keep everything to himself, he was able to share them with me. I am a good listener so always comforted him by listening and not judging him. He made plans about future as how we are going to build a house, take business to new heights and in 1-2 month he made me director of a company. I didn't want all this because it was too early for all this and i don't like accepting things this way. In April, i broke my engagement due to him and my family is in great stress. I lied to them and therefore their trust broke. Since then the whole family is in great pain. I could never do this, i have always followed decision taken by my family and they have always taken care of me. Now in June they came to know about me and him and they disapprove. My mother is very sure that i being emotional have gotten into trap and he manipulated me. He however needs someone in his life and found good option in me as i can handle family and business both. My mother hates him. Now i am so confused. I started keeping distance with him. I resigned few days back. He got ill and is finding hard to recover. The business is affecting due to this as he always feel lost that's what the team told me. He sends me emotional messages. I know he is very alone and must be hurting a lot. He says he always had a strong feeling about me. He worship for me so that we are together forever. He says if i agree he will forever be grateful as he has nobody except me. What should I do? Please help me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Things seemed to be going fine for you outside of this boss situation. But it has been messed up! Nevertheless...
It's important for you to understand that you have found yourself 'an emotionally weak person'. He finds great solace in you and you have been very kind enough to lend a shoulder for him to cry on.
Promoting you ahead of time is indication enough for you that he 'needs' you...and when the need is over, he might not find the same kind of closeness with you OR the need may just become greater making him even weaker.
'I know he is very alone and must be hurting a lot'...you have fallen into a guilt trap where if you don't support him, it makes you feel guilty.
He has been very effectively weakening your emotions for you to take care of him. Break this toxic cycle...no offense meant to him...he really needs to grow up...Strong relationships are those that nurture one another and help each other grow...what growth has happened to either of you? In fact, you two seem to be pulling each other down, haven't you? He sends emotional messages!!!!!! Do you not still see his pattern?
You mother isn't fond of him, (wonder why)?????

Be wise about this, look at your life far ahead and actually imagine a life with this person and check for yourself how it is going to pan out and do the same without him and see how it can be liberating for you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2023Hindi
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Hi I am working in an compnay since 4 yrs i had and friendship with my senior and he ia married but staying alone. His family was at native place. We both r maaried and we know about we had family but now we are in relationships since 3 years. As his family was not here i helped him in every manner in covid situtation. We know pur priority is family first. But since his family is here from one year last. He has stopped chatting talking to me. Only we are mostly having one side fight. He is now feeling irritation in talking to me normally also. During my job i m doing better than also everytime he feels irritated. I dont know what to do. Now he is saying he dont have time. He dont want to leave me. But stopped everything's. Only when he needs help he speaks to me or replies to message. I dont want to leave my job nor complaint to someone. What shoul i do dont understand. I have ensured him that i dont want him also to leave his family. Nor i want to leavemy family. I m confused what to do. I have done everything for him and now he has forgot evething. He says he love me he dont want to leave me. But at this situtation what should i do.
Ans: Hello Ms.
It's important to approach this with sensitivity and consideration for everyone involved. Understand that his family is a significant part of his life, and he may need time to adjust to the changes. Respect his commitments and responsibilities towards his family. Think about the long-term implications of the relationship. Consider whether it's sustainable in the current circumstances and whether it aligns with your personal values and priorities. Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and the dynamics of your relationship. Consider whether this situation is bringing you happiness and fulfillment, or if it's causing you distress. Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to ensure that both of you are comfortable and that these boundaries are respected. If he is feeling overwhelmed or stressed with the recent changes in his family situation, it might be helpful to give him some space. Encourage open communication make sure you both are on the same page about the nature of your relationship and the level of communication you both desire.Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may need to change or come to an end. Reflect on your own priorities and boundaries. Ensure that your relationship doesn't negatively impact your personal and professional life. It's essential to maintain a healthy balance and focus on your own well-being. While this can be difficult, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of everyone involved.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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Hi I am 39 year married woman with one 13yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affair with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me .But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. It sounds like you're in a very complex situation, and I'm not qualified to give you advice on personal or emotional matters. However, I can offer some general information that may be helpful.

It's important to remember that you're not alone in this. Many people go through difficult times in their marriages, and there are resources available to help you cope. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with support and guidance as you work through your challenges.

If you're thinking about leaving your marriage, it's important to weigh all of your options carefully and consider the potential consequences of your decision. You may want to talk to a lawyer or financial advisor to get advice on what your rights and options are.

Ultimately, the decision of what to do is up to you. There is no right or wrong answer, and what works for one person may not work for another. However, it's important to make your decision based on what is best for you and your family.

I hope this information is helpful. Please remember that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 31 years old and single. I am working in a company since 2022 and last September i found out my boss is in love with me. Earlier he used to admire for my work. He was always a source of inspiration as his guidance has always helped me to achieve better and make me confident. Together we were a good team.. We took many important decision together, although i am not much experienced but he took my advice in important matters. Its a small company and few employees left gradually, we built a new team and together we trained them. We are very serious about our work and that was our prime focus. He use to tell me how serious he was about me and would like to marry me, will visit my house and meet my parents. One thing i knew was that he is divorced but the details were not very clear to me as he never disclosed and i gave him time as whenever he feels fine he can share. I also told him that my parents would never agree to this. he said he will convince my parents and will even beg for me. I am introvert nature and never cross questioned anything. I had a huge respect for him. He had his share of lows since his father passed away and then he was left alone and taking care of his mother. He values his mother a lot and keep her away from any stress. He keep everything to himself, he was able to share them with me. I am a good listener so always comforted him by listening and not judging him. He made plans about future as how we are going to build a house, take business to new heights and in 1-2 month he made me director of a company. I didn't want all this because it was too early for all this and i don't like accepting things this way. In April, i broke my engagement due to him and my family is in great stress. I lied to them and therefore their trust broke. Since then the whole family is in great pain. I could never do this, i have always followed decision taken by my family and they have always taken care of me. Now in June they came to know about me and him and they disapprove. My mother is very sure that i being emotional have gotten into trap and he manipulated me. He however needs someone in his life and found good option in me as i can handle family and business both. My mother hates him. Now i am so confused. I started keeping distance with him. I resigned few days back. He got ill and is finding hard to recover. The business is affecting due to this as he always feel lost that's what the team told me. He sends me emotional messages. I know he is very alone and must be hurting a lot. He says he always had a strong feeling about me. He worship for me so that we are together forever. He says if i agree he will forever be grateful as he has nobody except me. What should I do? Please help me.
Ans: it's important to recognize and validate your own feelings. You've built a significant bond with your boss, and his support and mentorship have been crucial to your professional growth. However, the dynamics have changed with the revelation of his feelings for you, creating a complex situation that involves your emotions, family, and professional life.

Your family's disapproval and the stress it has caused are significant factors to consider. Their concerns about the relationship, especially regarding manipulation and emotional dependence, need careful reflection. It's essential to ensure that your decisions are based on your own true feelings and not just out of a sense of obligation or pressure.

Regarding your boss, his emotional messages and current state of distress are challenging to navigate. While his feelings for you might be genuine, it's crucial to maintain clarity about your own boundaries and what you want for your future. You mentioned resigning and keeping distance, which indicates a need for space to think clearly.

Given the complexity of the situation, it might be beneficial to seek professional counseling. A therapist or counselor can provide an objective perspective and help you process your emotions and make decisions that are right for you. They can also assist in navigating conversations with your family and your boss, ensuring that your needs and boundaries are respected.

Ultimately, the decision must come from a place of self-awareness and genuine desire, not out of guilt or pressure. It's important to prioritize your well-being and ensure that any relationship, professional or personal, supports your growth and happiness.

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Niharikka

Niharikka Budhwani  |13 Answers  |Ask -

Dietician, Lifestyle, Nutrition Expert - Answered on Mar 03, 2025

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Health
my age is 50 & weight is 75 KGs. Height is 5 feet 4 inch. i am not taking any type of medicine. i walk daily 10000 steps but not in one go. please suggest me to reduce weight.....
Ans: Hey Amar,

To lose weight, you need to create a calorie defict. Which means you need to eat less than what your body burns. Sounds technical but if you just follow your body's hunger-satiation signals it should be good. There are a couple of ways you can manage to feel full
1. Have a glass of water 15-20 min before your meals. This will help you understand exactly how hungry you are when you sit to eat your main meals.
2. Have a balanced meal. Have 2 servings of vegetables (salads/sabzi), 1 serving of protein and 1 serving of carbohydrates (roti/rice). This will ensure you don't over eat and exceed your caloric requirements
3. Remove 30 minutes for exercise at least 5-6 days a week. We cannot eat very less calories since that can compromise our nutrient intake and create deficiencies in long run. And exercise is the simplest form to create calorie deficit to compliment your fat loss journey.
4. Try to sleep before 12am. Sleep plays a very vital role in your fat loss journey. Research states that inadequate sleep leads to fat gain and also, excess caloric intake. So clock in 7-9 hours of good quality sleep.
5. If you routine is stressful then ensure to practise deep breathing exercise, or yoga or meditation to manage stress. Cortisol (stress hormone) is responsible for fat deposition around the belly. So manage your stress levels and prioritise mental health.

Losing weight is simple, all it requires is discipline and consistency. And the journey doesn't end when you achieve that number on your weighing scale. I always give an example of income. For income, you need a job, if you lose the job you lose your income. The same way if you want to sustain weight, you need to keep the diet and lifestyle healthy forever. So, keep the diet sustainable. :)

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8068 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 03, 2025

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Money
Hello Sir i am planning to go with SBI Magnum Children's Benefit Fund- Investment Plan- Direct Plan - Growth. and pls suggest can i go with lumsum of 300000. Can you please suggest is this is good
Ans: Investing in a children's benefit fund can be a good decision. But you need to assess if it fits your goals.

Your chosen scheme is a hybrid mutual fund. It invests in both equity and debt. This type of fund offers balanced growth and stability.

Let’s evaluate its suitability from different angles.

Understanding Hybrid Mutual Funds for Children's Investment
Hybrid funds invest in a mix of equity and debt.

The equity portion helps in long-term growth.

The debt portion offers stability in market downturns.

This balance makes them less volatile than pure equity funds.

However, hybrid funds may not give the highest returns over the long term.

Factors to Consider Before Investing
1. Investment Goal and Time Horizon
This fund is designed for child-related goals.

If your goal is long-term (10+ years), equity funds may offer better returns.

If your goal is short-term (3-5 years), hybrid funds may be better.

A mix of equity and debt funds may offer more flexibility.

2. Risk-Return Profile
Hybrid funds have lower risk than equity funds.

However, they also deliver lower returns.

If you are comfortable with volatility, equity mutual funds may be better.

If you want moderate growth with less risk, hybrid funds can be considered.

3. Tax Efficiency
Equity-oriented hybrid funds have the same tax rules as equity funds.

Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt-oriented hybrid funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.

If tax efficiency is a concern, consider equity mutual funds for long-term goals.

Evaluating Lumpsum Investment of Rs 3 Lakh
1. Market Timing Risk
A lumpsum investment carries timing risk.

If the market is at a peak, your returns may be lower.

If the market falls, your portfolio will take a hit.

Instead, you can use a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP).

This allows you to invest gradually, reducing market risk.

2. Alternative: Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
A SIP spreads your investment over time.

This reduces the impact of market fluctuations.

If you want lower risk, consider investing in smaller amounts over time.

3. Liquidity and Accessibility
Mutual funds offer liquidity.

However, some children's investment plans have lock-in periods.

Check the exit load before investing.

Ensure the fund allows withdrawals when needed.

Comparing with Actively Managed Equity Funds
Actively managed equity funds can offer better long-term returns.

These funds are handled by professional fund managers.

They adjust the portfolio based on market conditions.

Over long periods, actively managed funds can outperform hybrid funds.

If your child’s goal is more than 10 years away, consider equity funds.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
1. Disadvantages of Direct Plans
Direct plans do not provide guidance from experts.

You need to track and manage your portfolio yourself.

Without professional advice, you may make emotional investment decisions.

Market movements may tempt you to exit at the wrong time.

2. Benefits of Regular Plans with a CFP
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) helps you align investments with goals.

They guide you in rebalancing and tax planning.

They can help you avoid common investment mistakes.

A CFP can recommend better alternatives if needed.

Alternative Investment Options
1. Flexi Cap and Large Cap Funds
These funds provide long-term capital appreciation.

Large-cap funds invest in stable, well-established companies.

Flexi-cap funds allow fund managers to invest across market caps.

These funds may offer better returns for long-term goals.

2. Small Cap and Mid Cap Funds
Small-cap and mid-cap funds can deliver high growth.

They are riskier but perform well over long periods.

If your risk tolerance is high, you may allocate some funds to these.

3. Debt Funds for Short-Term Goals
If your goal is in 3-5 years, consider debt funds.

They offer stability and predictable returns.

Debt funds have lower tax efficiency but are safer.

Final Insights
Hybrid funds offer balanced risk and return.

They are suitable for medium-term goals (5-8 years).

For long-term goals, equity funds may provide better returns.

Investing Rs 3 lakh in one go carries market timing risk.

Consider SIP or STP to reduce this risk.

Work with a CFP to optimise your investment plan.

Review your portfolio regularly and rebalance if needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4255 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 03, 2025

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Career
Sir I get 77.88%ile in 1st attempt, Gen-EWS candidate. As a student I'll definitely try to increase my score but would you clarify me what I get on the basis of this score any good GFTI . I have no chance to go south states and west Bengal, My parents only allow me to states in north like delhi, Up please guide me sir
Ans: You can take part in the JAC-Delhi Counselling Process, Saiyam. If your parents can afford it or if you get a scholarship, write 4-5 more entrance tests as backups. This will give you a Plan B and Plan C. If you want to know if you are eligible for GFTI, please read the answer I have been giving to people who have asked the same question based on their percentile score in the January session of JEE-Main.

How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT-Warrangal or any other NITs or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide for you.

Once the January JEE Main session results are declared, many students and JEE applicants start asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, and preparation strategies, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

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