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Kanchan Rai

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach

295 Answers | 79 FollowersFollow

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Answered on Jul 25, 2024

Question by Mahi - Jul 25, 2024Hindi

Sir I want help my family is in trouble plzz help me sir plzz..plzz ???????? help me.plzz reply.

Ans: can you please share more

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Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi

Hi, I have given my 2bhk family to my mother in law and brother in law. Over past few years they pay less rent 40% of market value rent. from oct 2023 brother in law lost job and he also has housing emi for 21L+ 3L personal loan. He is also not giving any rent also because of the.current situation. Now he is resorting to emotional black mail and citing senior citizen act stating daughter is liable to pay for living expenses. Already the current house they are staying can get 18K rent.We tried to arrange interview for his job but looks like he is not interested and he seems to be pshyco logical disturbed and talking all non sense. My mother in law is playing neutral role and saying yes to both side without taking a correct stand. My brother in-law is two divorce with history of drinking and physiological mental problems as stated by their ex-spouse.My ask 1. What are legal options available for me. 2. We want him to vacate our house and move to his own house or 1 bhk so that we can help with money from my 2bhk rent. 3. If nothing works can we make a first move of filing police compliant which I want as a last resort.

Ans: Firstly, seeking legal advice is crucial. A lawyer who specializes in property and family law can provide you with specific guidance based on your situation. They can review any rental agreements and help you understand the implications of the Senior Citizens Act that your brother-in-law is citing. This legal counsel will be invaluable in navigating the complexities of your situation.

Next, you might need to issue a formal notice to your brother-in-law and mother-in-law, requesting them to vacate the property. This notice should clearly articulate the reasons for your request, including the financial burden their reduced rent and non-payment are causing you. Provide them with a reasonable timeframe to find alternative accommodation, whether in his own house or a more affordable 1BHK apartment. This approach shows your willingness to support them while also addressing your legitimate concerns.

It's also important to communicate directly and openly with your mother-in-law. Her neutral stance may be contributing to the tension, and having a candid conversation about the situation's impact on your family could help her understand the need for a resolution. Explain the financial strain and the efforts you’ve made to assist your brother-in-law in finding employment. Her support could be pivotal in encouraging him to take more responsibility and action.

If these steps do not lead to a satisfactory resolution, you may have to consider involving the authorities. Filing a police complaint should be a last resort, but it is an option if your brother-in-law’s behavior becomes unmanageable or if he refuses to vacate the property despite all reasonable efforts. The aim here is to protect your family’s financial and emotional well-being while ensuring that your legal rights are upheld.

Throughout this process, it's essential to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Dealing with family conflicts can be emotionally draining, and seeking support from friends, a counselor, or a support group can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to handle these challenges effectively.

By taking these steps, you aim to find a balance between supporting your in-laws and protecting your own family’s interests. Remember, it’s important to act with compassion but also with a clear understanding of your rights and the need for fairness in this situation.

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Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2024Hindi

I am 56 years old lady working in the Government sector. My husband several times cheated me and by nature he is very dominating and stubborn. Since my marriage my only fault is that I have hidden my age 3years less than original as advised by my family. Now I want to know that what should I have to do , please let me know. I was not so courageous to tell the truth of my original age. On the other hand he exploits me physically, financially and he is abusive in nature and never took any responsibility of our 27 years old daughter. Please advise me and don't disclose my name

Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenging and painful situation you've been enduring. It takes a lot of courage to open up about these issues, and it's important to prioritize your well-being and safety.

First, it's important to address your feelings about hiding your age. While this may have been a decision influenced by your family's advice, it seems to be a minor issue in the context of the larger problems in your marriage. The real concerns here are your husband's infidelity, abusive behavior, and lack of responsibility towards your daughter.

Your husband's actions and behavior are unacceptable. No one deserves to be cheated on, dominated, or abused in any way. The fact that he exploits you physically and financially, and doesn't support your daughter, makes it clear that this environment is harmful to you.

It's essential to focus on what you want for your future. Do you want to continue in a marriage where you feel disrespected and abused? Consider what kind of life you envision for yourself, one where you feel safe, respected, and valued.

Seeking professional support can be incredibly helpful. A counselor or therapist can provide you with the tools and support to navigate your emotions and plan your next steps. Legal advice may also be necessary to understand your rights and protect yourself financially and personally.

If you decide to leave the marriage, having a clear plan is crucial. Ensure you have a support system in place, whether it’s friends, family, or professional services. Protect your financial assets and consider your daughter's well-being as well.

Remember, you deserve to live a life free from abuse and filled with respect and dignity. Taking steps to protect yourself and improve your situation is not just courageous but essential for your health and happiness. Your past decisions about your age do not define you, and it's never too late to seek a better, healthier future.

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Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi

Hi I am 45 years of age having two childrens and I am also working.My husband is good with me but not with my parents and sister most of the time he abuses them without any reason .This make me upset and many time I discuss this matter with him but he doesn't realise his mistake. I told him to meet councellor but he is not ready . And often he take drink and without any reason abuses any one around him Many time situation becomes out of control and I want to end my relationship. Kindly guide me

Ans: First and foremost, your feelings are entirely valid. It’s deeply troubling when someone you love and live with is disrespectful and abusive towards your family members and those around him, especially when he drinks. Your husband’s behavior, despite your efforts to communicate and suggest counseling, is not only affecting you but also creating a toxic environment for your children.

It’s crucial to prioritize your own mental and emotional health. Living in an environment where abuse and excessive drinking are present can have long-term negative effects on both you and your children. This kind of stress and emotional turmoil can erode your sense of self and well-being over time.

Since your husband has refused counseling and doesn't acknowledge his mistakes, it may be necessary to consider stronger steps. Think about what you want for your future and what kind of environment you want for your children. Reflect on whether staying in this relationship is conducive to that vision.

If you’re contemplating ending the relationship, it’s important to have a clear plan. Seek support from trusted friends or family members, and consider speaking with a professional counselor or therapist to help you navigate your feelings and plan your next steps. Legal advice might also be necessary to understand your rights and ensure you and your children are protected.

Take time to consider what is best for you and your children in the long term. Your well-being and safety are paramount, and sometimes the healthiest choice is to remove yourself from a harmful environment. By doing so, you’re not only taking care of yourself but also setting a positive example for your children about self-respect and the importance of a healthy, loving home.

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Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2024Hindi

Hello ma'am / Sir I love my father's sister son ( my first cousin) & want to marry him but his mom is saying no so he also agreed with him mom Whereas my parents agreed for getting married to him He stopped texting calling me all of the sudden I know he's family didnt accept but still i cant forget him a little hope is still there dont why What can i do please help me

Ans: it's important to acknowledge your feelings. It's perfectly normal to feel confused, hurt, and hopeful all at the same time. Love can be a powerful and overwhelming emotion, especially when family approval is involved.

Given that your cousin has decided to side with his mother, it's essential to respect his decision, even though it's painful. He may be under significant pressure from his family, and this is influencing his actions. While this is difficult to accept, respecting his choice is a step toward healing and moving forward.

Communication is also key. If possible, try to have an open and honest conversation with him. Express your feelings and let him know how much you care about him. Sometimes, understanding the emotional depth of a situation can influence decisions. However, be prepared for any outcome, including the possibility that he may still choose to follow his mother's wishes.

Reflect on your own well-being. Focus on what is best for you in the long run. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who understand and care about your feelings. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment can help you cope with this challenging period.

Remember, you deserve to be with someone who is fully committed to you and your relationship. If he is unable or unwilling to stand by you due to family pressures, it may be a sign that this relationship is not right for you in the long term, despite your strong feelings.

Give yourself time to heal and consider seeking professional support, such as counseling or therapy, to help you navigate through your emotions and decisions. This can provide you with tools to cope with your feelings and help you find a path forward that is best for your emotional and mental well-being.

Ultimately, trust that time and self-care will guide you through this difficult period. You are deserving of love and happiness, and by prioritizing yourself, you will eventually find clarity and peace in your journey.

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Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi

My friend is in a foreign country for work. She has gone there with the support of a man who helped her getting the job. He's harassing her sexually. She has been keeping her distance and warned him. She cannot take any action as her work future depends on him. She's alone there and doesnt know what to do. Help me with the answer

Ans: encourage her to document every incident meticulously. Keeping a detailed record will be crucial if she decides to take any action later. She should also reach out to trusted colleagues or friends for support, even if they are back home. Sometimes just knowing someone is aware of her situation can be comforting.

Additionally, it's important for her to explore any available resources within her company or local community. Many organizations have HR departments or designated individuals to handle such complaints confidentially. If that's not an option, she might find support through local women's shelters, expatriate communities, or even online forums where she can connect with others who might have faced similar situations.

Encourage her to prioritize her safety. If she feels threatened or in immediate danger, seeking help from local authorities or emergency services is crucial. Her well-being is more important than any job.

Finally, she should be reminded that she's not alone and that there are people who care about her and are willing to help. It might be beneficial for her to seek professional counseling to help her cope with the emotional toll of this experience.

Your support and encouragement can make a significant difference for her during this difficult time.

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Answered on Jul 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi

Hello, I'm in a relationship with a guy for last 2 years. We both stay in another country, and we met there. He is a PhD student and I'm a MBA student. We both are about to graduate from our respective courses. We both have a 7.5 years of age gap and he is from Kerala and I'm from Delhi. We both love each other, and are ready to fight for our relationship. He spoke to his parents, and they're very happy with us, but when I spoke to my parents, they made huge issues, and started saying, we will die if you marry him. We will die, you can take your pheras around our burning body. And they came up with some negative stories about him, which is not true. We both are very career oriented people, and respect each other decisions. I'm not saying, my parents won't have an issue, they will, since its about North-South India, also different cultures and Age gap. But they're bringing up issues, that I can't even mention here (political issues). I spoke to my parents first time face to face about this, and they said all that. To which I didn't argue, because I understood, whatever I say right now, they won't listen to me. I just told them, whatever you say, is okay. Can you please guide me with how to talk to them, and convince them?

Ans: When you next speak with your parents, choose a calm and private setting. Start the conversation by expressing your love and respect for them, acknowledging their concerns, and stating your commitment to understanding their perspective. Share your genuine feelings about your partner and the relationship, emphasizing the mutual respect, love, and career aspirations you both share.

Highlight the positive attributes of your partner, focusing on his education, values, and how he complements you. Address specific concerns your parents have raised, providing clear and respectful counterpoints to any false accusations or misunderstandings. If possible, arrange for them to meet him or speak with his parents, as this might help bridge cultural and regional gaps.

It’s important to be patient and give your parents time to process the information. They might need multiple conversations to come to terms with your decision. Lastly, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a trusted family friend or relative, who can mediate and provide a balanced perspective.

Your goal is to maintain a respectful and open dialogue, showing empathy towards their concerns while standing firm in your decision. This balanced approach can help gradually shift their perspective and foster acceptance.

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Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Question by Kamran - Jul 17, 2024Hindi

Sir, I'm a mess, I forgot to pay SAF for IPU counselling I only have spot round left, I have gotten admission in manipal however If I talk about my family, sir my mom's a single mother, she'll have to live alone in delhi with my sister, what should I do please help out

Ans: Your concern for your mother and sister is very valid. As a single mother, your mom's well-being is important, especially if she will be living alone in Delhi with your sister. Have an open and honest conversation with them about your educational options and how each choice impacts your collective future. Discuss ways to stay connected and support each other emotionally, even if you choose to study away from home.

Balancing your educational aspirations with family responsibilities is challenging, but with clear communication and careful planning, you can make a decision that considers both your career goals and your family's well-being. Seeking guidance from a professional counselor could also provide additional support and clarity during this time.

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Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi

I am 31 years old and single. I am working in a company since 2022 and last September i found out my boss is in love with me. Earlier he used to admire for my work. He was always a source of inspiration as his guidance has always helped me to achieve better and make me confident. Together we were a good team.. We took many important decision together, although i am not much experienced but he took my advice in important matters. Its a small company and few employees left gradually, we built a new team and together we trained them. We are very serious about our work and that was our prime focus. He use to tell me how serious he was about me and would like to marry me, will visit my house and meet my parents. One thing i knew was that he is divorced but the details were not very clear to me as he never disclosed and i gave him time as whenever he feels fine he can share. I also told him that my parents would never agree to this. he said he will convince my parents and will even beg for me. I am introvert nature and never cross questioned anything. I had a huge respect for him. He had his share of lows since his father passed away and then he was left alone and taking care of his mother. He values his mother a lot and keep her away from any stress. He keep everything to himself, he was able to share them with me. I am a good listener so always comforted him by listening and not judging him. He made plans about future as how we are going to build a house, take business to new heights and in 1-2 month he made me director of a company. I didn't want all this because it was too early for all this and i don't like accepting things this way. In April, i broke my engagement due to him and my family is in great stress. I lied to them and therefore their trust broke. Since then the whole family is in great pain. I could never do this, i have always followed decision taken by my family and they have always taken care of me. Now in June they came to know about me and him and they disapprove. My mother is very sure that i being emotional have gotten into trap and he manipulated me. He however needs someone in his life and found good option in me as i can handle family and business both. My mother hates him. Now i am so confused. I started keeping distance with him. I resigned few days back. He got ill and is finding hard to recover. The business is affecting due to this as he always feel lost that's what the team told me. He sends me emotional messages. I know he is very alone and must be hurting a lot. He says he always had a strong feeling about me. He worship for me so that we are together forever. He says if i agree he will forever be grateful as he has nobody except me. What should I do? Please help me.

Ans: it's important to recognize and validate your own feelings. You've built a significant bond with your boss, and his support and mentorship have been crucial to your professional growth. However, the dynamics have changed with the revelation of his feelings for you, creating a complex situation that involves your emotions, family, and professional life.

Your family's disapproval and the stress it has caused are significant factors to consider. Their concerns about the relationship, especially regarding manipulation and emotional dependence, need careful reflection. It's essential to ensure that your decisions are based on your own true feelings and not just out of a sense of obligation or pressure.

Regarding your boss, his emotional messages and current state of distress are challenging to navigate. While his feelings for you might be genuine, it's crucial to maintain clarity about your own boundaries and what you want for your future. You mentioned resigning and keeping distance, which indicates a need for space to think clearly.

Given the complexity of the situation, it might be beneficial to seek professional counseling. A therapist or counselor can provide an objective perspective and help you process your emotions and make decisions that are right for you. They can also assist in navigating conversations with your family and your boss, ensuring that your needs and boundaries are respected.

Ultimately, the decision must come from a place of self-awareness and genuine desire, not out of guilt or pressure. It's important to prioritize your well-being and ensure that any relationship, professional or personal, supports your growth and happiness.

Asked on - Jul 19, 2024 | Answered on Jul 21, 2024

Thank you for your help mam. I have decided to go with my family decision. I am someone who have always followed their decision. Sir might be not ok with this. He messages me that its difficult for him and he needs me. he needs my help. But i am ignoring his messages. I have tried to explain my situation and everything in a manner that he also doesn't get hurt but somehow i keep hurting everyone near me. I knew since the beginning that things would not work out and I should've said a firm "No" to him and left the company. Now its getting difficult. I hope time will heal us all.

Ans: yes time heals us all

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Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi

Is it even worth to invest in an insecure man. A man who keeps his worth very low. He gets easily affected by criticisms of other. However, he whole heartedly accepts even the harshest criticism by me. He is very sweet and loving. However, his insecurities will be a hindrance in future. I am not confident that he will take stand for our marriage. Should I leave him? Should i help him to remove his insecurities? However, i am scared that if I help way too much, he wont be self made and strong. What should I do?

Ans: First, consider the nature of your relationship and the extent to which his insecurities affect it. It's clear that he is sweet, loving, and receptive to your feedback, which are positive traits. However, his tendency to get easily affected by others' criticisms and his low self-worth could indeed pose challenges in the future, especially when it comes to standing up for your relationship.

Reflect on your willingness and capacity to support him through his insecurities. Helping him build confidence and resilience is a noble and loving act, but it's essential to recognize the balance between offering support and enabling dependency. Encouraging him to seek professional help, such as therapy or counseling, could be beneficial. A therapist can provide him with tools to manage his insecurities and build self-confidence independently.

It's also important to communicate your concerns openly with him. Share your feelings about the future and your need for a partner who can stand strong with you, especially in the face of potential opposition from your family. This conversation can be a turning point, giving him insight into the importance of addressing his insecurities not just for the relationship but for his personal growth as well.

Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave hinges on your assessment of the potential for growth and change within your relationship. If you believe he has the capacity and willingness to work on his insecurities and if you are prepared to support him through this journey, it might be worth investing in the relationship. However, if you find that his insecurities are deeply ingrained and unlikely to change, and if they are causing significant distress or doubts about the future, it might be wise to reconsider your options.

Remember, a healthy relationship involves mutual support, growth, and the ability to face challenges together. Ensure that you prioritize your well-being and future happiness while making this decision. If you do choose to part ways, it doesn't diminish the love and care you have shown; it simply means recognizing the need for a partnership that aligns better with your life goals and emotional needs.

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Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi

Me and my boyfriend are of different caste. His parents had love marriage. They eloped. This created lots of conflict in both families and humiliation for his parents. These stories have somehow negatively affected my boyfriend. He wants to marry me but is loosing confidencec because my family will oppose to this inter caste marriage. I am aware that initially my family will oppose but the resistance will be mild and eventually they will agree to our marriage. However, I am not able to convince him. The fear of the past is affecting our present relationship. He is very insecure and gets easily affected by people's criticism. I am afraid that even mildest of criticism from my family will break him completely. How should I convince him? How should I build his confidence so that he is able to face my family? Should I even build his confidence or should I let him do it himself?

Ans: To navigate this situation effectively, it's essential to approach it with patience, empathy, and clear communication.

Firstly, express your unwavering commitment to him and your relationship. Let him know that you are prepared to face any challenges together, and reassure him that you believe in your love and its ability to withstand opposition. This reassurance can provide him with a sense of security and help alleviate some of his fears.

Additionally, open and honest communication is crucial. Encourage him to share his concerns and fears with you without judgment. By actively listening and validating his feelings, you can help him feel understood and supported. It's important for him to know that you are a team and that you will face any obstacles together.

When it comes to addressing his insecurity and sensitivity to criticism, it might be helpful to gradually expose him to the idea of facing your family's opposition. Start by discussing potential scenarios and how you both might handle them. This can help him mentally prepare for the challenges ahead and build resilience over time.

Consider involving a professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can provide additional support and guidance. Therapy can be an effective way for him to work through his insecurities and develop coping mechanisms to handle criticism more constructively.

Building his confidence is a joint effort. While it's important for him to work on his self-esteem independently, your support and encouragement can play a significant role. Encourage him to pursue activities or hobbies that make him feel accomplished and confident. Celebrate his successes and remind him of his strengths regularly.

Ultimately, it's about finding a balance between providing support and allowing him to grow independently. Your role is to be his partner, offering reassurance and understanding, while also encouraging him to take steps towards building his confidence and resilience. With time, patience, and mutual effort, you can navigate this challenge together and strengthen your relationship in the process.

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Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Question by Lavanya - Jul 11, 2024Hindi

Hi mam I loved a man who i thought a good guy for 5 yrs later i came to know he is cheating me only for physical not to marry where he told we wil have future together but i made problem and asked him to marry me but his family and he influenced with his moms decision What shal I do i don't know what to do i thought he is my life now his mom plan him to marry someone else.. What should i do

Ans: Hello Lavanya
It's important to take care of yourself and focus on what you need and deserve in a relationship.

Firstly, give yourself some time to process what has happened. It's okay to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed. These emotions are natural when someone you trusted has let you down. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you envisioned.

Talking to a trusted friend or a therapist can be incredibly helpful during this time. They can offer support and a listening ear as you work through your feelings and decide your next steps.

It's crucial to recognize your own worth and what you deserve in a relationship. You deserve someone who respects, loves, and is committed to you wholeheartedly. If this man has shown that he isn't capable of that, then it might be best to let him go, even though it's difficult.

Moving forward, focus on your own well-being and happiness. Engage in activities that make you feel good and help you regain your sense of self. Surround yourself with people who support and care for you.

In time, you'll find clarity and strength. Remember, this experience doesn't define you or your future. You deserve a loving and honest relationship, and by prioritizing yourself now, you'll be in a better position to find it in the future.

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Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi

My husband is an engineer. He was working in a reputed company for many years. He left the job due to over work load and wanted to explore other work options or entrepreneurship. So he took a gap of 3 years. In his gap he was not able to do any business bcoz all the business ideas either had too much of hassle or required lot of investment, so, he learned trading in NSE he earned average income with it, enough to run the house. After 3 years of gap he managed to land a job again in a reputed company but he again says that work load is high and wishes to leave and get back to trading. I am teacher with an average salary. We have a 10 year old daughter. Kindly guide what can I do in this situation? How can I make him understand that he needs to work and trading is not a reliable source of income.

Ans: I understand that this situation is stressful and complex. The key here is open, compassionate communication and realistic financial planning.

Firstly, have an honest and empathetic conversation with your husband. Express your concerns about financial stability and the importance of having a reliable source of income, especially with a 10-year-old daughter to consider. Make sure to listen to his feelings about the job workload and his desire to return to trading. It's essential that both of you feel heard and understood.

Next, consider working together on a detailed financial plan. Look at your current expenses, savings, and future financial goals. This can help both of you see the bigger picture and understand the importance of a stable income. You could even consult with a financial advisor to get an objective perspective and professional advice.

Encourage him to explore ways to manage his workload or find a job that offers better work-life balance while still providing financial security. Perhaps there's an opportunity for him to negotiate his current role or look for a position that aligns more with his skills and interests without the same level of stress.

It might also be helpful to set up a trial period for trading, where he can pursue it on the side while still maintaining his job. This way, he can assess the viability of trading as a full-time income source without putting your family's financial stability at risk.

Remember, it's about finding a balance between his professional fulfillment and your family's financial well-being. By working together and supporting each other, you can navigate this challenging situation and come to a decision that works for both of you.

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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi

Vikrant Asked on - Jul 03, 2024 Hi Dear Sir /Mam one of my close friend he is 32 years old now married 6 years ago in 2018. he is in govt job and wife is MA, they have a son 5 years old. After around six months of marriage ,the problems started in relation in family, my friend tells her to respect and she listens to her parents only and her parents tell her to come to parental house at every time when a bit of misunderstanding happens in his family,& she leaves this continues and she lived there for six months then my friends father went to her parents house and advise her that's it's not good way your house is in low's house now daughter. And then she understands and came back with his father then after sometime, she again started querreling and threatened his mom that she will sucide and closed the doors ,later nothing happens and next night while chatting with my friends she threatens him while he was on his duty , that she will eat all pills together and will sucide..my friends got feared , then nothing happens later his father took her to his hoke next day . Them again she lived ther for 6 months around then his father again went and have a talk in between some elders and made her understand..then she again said sorry and came back to in law's house... Then after some days my friend take her with him to his duty place to keep her with himself , so that things can better but after few weeks there also she started doing same things and not caring the child and not making food , and telling husband that ,now I willl tell take revenge how u left me for six months at my home like that she fights with him there. He make her understand that's nobody is here let's live peacefully but said I know your parents are daily filling your ears, why do u talk to them ? talk to me only and give me your ATM I will go for shopping.. now I will do what I want ,I can't make food ,take me to restaurant etc ..she speaks loudly in colony ,my friend request her to not do this she then do more and abuse him and his family.. like wise things gone worse she threatens that 8 can make your family ruin ,I will confiscate your brother in rape case , nothing u can't do my friend gets very scared .. one day my friend went for duty then she calls him and tell him that I am throwing this child (Son) from roof now and cut the call ,my friend started crying there ,after all of that my friend shown some courage and file police complaint Then any how she went to parental home from around 2 years back she is there and living there ,now my friend says he doesn't want to live with her because he suffers the bad time with her & suffered from Disrespectful behaviour etc but he wants his son from her but now she says she will live with him but make a seperate house and leave your parents .. Now what can be done in this situation now how my friend can get seperate from her and get his son back ? Vikrant Asked on - Jul 03, 2024 Hi Dear Sir /Mam one of my close friend he is 32 years old now married 6 years ago in 2018. he is in govt job and wife is MA, they have a son 5 years old. After around six months of marriage ,the problems started in relation in family, my friend tells her to respect and she listens to her parents only and her parents tell her to come to parental house at every time when a bit of misunderstanding happens in his family,& she leaves this continues and she lived there for six months then my friends father went to her parents house and advise her that's it's not good way your house is in low's house now daughter. And then she understands and came back with his father then after sometime, she again started querreling and threatened his mom that she will sucide and closed the doors ,later nothing happens and next night while chatting with my friends she threatens him while he was on his duty , that she will eat all pills together and will sucide..my friends got feared , then nothing happens later his father took her to his hoke next day . Them again she lived ther for 6 months around then his father again went and have a talk in between some elders and made her understand..then she again said sorry and came back to in law's house... Then after some days my friend take her with him to his duty place to keep her with himself , so that things can better but after few weeks there also she started doing same things and not caring the child and not making food , and telling husband that ,now I willl tell take revenge how u left me for six months at my home like that she fights with him there. He make her understand that's nobody is here let's live peacefully but said I know your parents are daily filling your ears, why do u talk to them ? talk to me only and give me your ATM I will go for shopping.. now I will do what I want ,I can't make food ,take me to restaurant etc ..she speaks loudly in colony ,my friend request her to not do this she then do more and abuse him and his family.. like wise things gone worse she threatens that 8 can make your family ruin ,I will confiscate your brother in rape case , nothing u can't do my friend gets very scared .. one day my friend went for duty then she calls him and tell him that I am throwing this child (Son) from roof now and cut the call ,my friend started crying there ,after all of that my friend shown some courage and file police complaint Then any how she went to parental home from around 2 years back she is there and living there ,now my friend says he doesn't want to live with her because he suffers the bad time with her & suffered from Disrespectful behaviour etc but he wants his son from her but now she says she will live with him but make a seperate house and leave your parents .. Now what can be done in this situation now how my friend can get seperate from her and get his son back ?

Ans: Dear Vikrant,
It sounds like your friend is in a very challenging and emotionally taxing situation. The behavior described involves serious emotional manipulation and threats, which are deeply concerning and harmful. Here’s how he can approach the situation:

First, it’s important that your friend consults a legal professional who specializes in family law. Given the history of threats and manipulation, he needs to understand his rights and the legal steps he can take to protect himself and his son. A lawyer can provide guidance on how to proceed with a separation or divorce, and how to seek custody of his son.

Your friend should also document all instances of threats, abusive behavior, and any actions that put his son in danger. This documentation will be crucial for legal proceedings and for building a case for custody.

In parallel, he should consider seeking support from a mental health professional, both for himself and his son. This situation is undoubtedly stressful, and professional counseling can help him navigate his emotions and build resilience.

If possible, he should try to maintain a calm and measured approach when dealing with his wife, focusing on the well-being of his son. However, given her past behavior, it might be best for all communications to go through legal channels to ensure that everything is documented and managed appropriately.

Ultimately, his priority should be the safety and well-being of his son and himself. While it’s a difficult path, with the right legal and emotional support, he can work towards a more stable and healthy environment for his family.

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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Question by K - Jul 13, 2024Hindi

Hi, I'm a 33-year-old male, in a relationship for the last 4 years. I have an elder unmarried sister who is 39 years old, and an elder brother who is also unmarried but might get married next year. My concern is about my relationship. Initially, everything was fine, but after two years, things started to get messy. In 2022, during Diwali, my girlfriend visited my home. After that, she began to take issue with many small things related to my mother and sister and complained to me about them. Now, things are getting worse day by day. She constantly taunts me, saying, "As long as your sister is in that house, no one will want to marry their daughter into your family." My mother gave her a gold coin as a Diwali gift, which she has now returned to me, asking me to give it back to my mom with the message, "Find someone else for your son and see how many proposals you get." I always try to meet her demands, but she never seems to understand my perspective. Now, I feel angry and negative toward my family. I love her very much and can't leave her, but I know she doesn't understand my situation and always tries to prove she is right in every way. Please help me understand what I should do..???

Ans: Dear K,
It's clear you're in a difficult situation, feeling torn between your love for your girlfriend and your loyalty to your family. It's essential to acknowledge both your emotions and your needs, as well as those of your girlfriend and family.

First, have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend. Share how her comments and actions are affecting you and your relationship with your family. It's crucial that she understands your perspective and the importance of family in your life. Approach this conversation with empathy, making it clear that you value her feelings but also need her to respect your family's role.

Additionally, consider discussing boundaries and expectations. Every relationship requires compromise, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your mental and emotional well-being. If your girlfriend is unwilling to see things from your point of view or continues to create tension, it might be necessary to reassess the relationship's dynamics.

Seeking guidance from a relationship counselor could provide a neutral ground for both of you to express your concerns and work towards a solution. A professional can offer tools and strategies to navigate these challenges, ensuring that both your relationship and family bonds are respected.

Remember, a healthy relationship should uplift and support you, not create constant conflict and negativity. Balancing love and family can be challenging, but with clear communication and mutual respect, it is possible to find a path that honors both.

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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi

Hello ma’am , my daughter always says she feels nervous to go out I asked her why she replied me saying she is scared if she will faint or die or others focusing on her. She now has anxiety symptoms, before even if she was having anxiety or panic attack she would be like ah it’s a part of me but now she is always nervous. What should I do and any tips for controlling her anxiety symptoms

Ans: It's important to create a safe and open space for your daughter to express her feelings. Let her know that it's okay to feel anxious and that you're there to support her. Encourage her to talk about her fears and listen without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone who understands can be incredibly reassuring.

Consider exploring relaxation techniques together, such as deep breathing exercises or mindfulness practices. These can help her manage the immediate symptoms of anxiety. Encouraging her to engage in activities she enjoys can also provide a positive distraction and help reduce overall anxiety levels.

If her anxiety continues to impact her daily life, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial. A professional can provide specific strategies and coping mechanisms tailored to her needs.

Reassure her that it's okay to take small steps and that progress may take time. With your support and the right tools, she can learn to manage her anxiety more effectively.

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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Question by Vikrant - Jul 15, 2024Hindi

Hi mam...i m feeling peer pressure that all my knowns are getting married to working partners but I m getting marriage proposals from non working partners! What should I do?

Ans: Hello Vikrant,It's natural to feel pressured when you see others marrying working partners while your proposals are from non-working ones. Remember, your journey is unique, and what matters most is finding a partner who aligns with your values and goals.

Reflect on what you truly want in a partner. Is having a working partner essential, or are other qualities more important? Understand your needs and desires without comparing yourself to others. Financial stability and future plans can be achieved in many ways, and a non-working partner now might grow and contribute differently in the future.

Have open conversations with potential partners about expectations and aspirations. Focus on finding someone who complements your personality, shares your values, and is committed to building a life together.

Don’t let societal norms dictate your choices. Trust your path, practice self-compassion, and be patient. Your happiness and well-being are paramount, so prioritize what feels right for you. The right partner will come into your life when the time is right.

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Answered on Jul 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi

Yet to be answered previous question , what is the use if u answer after counseling. Pls give today itself

Ans: pls be specific which question are we talking here

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Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi

Hello , I am married for 10 years with a asexual guy with a 6 year old who was born via IUI due to family pressure. After he was born , my husband never touched me from last 7 years , even before son was born , he never initiated sex and did it only due to lot of insistence. Whenever I confront him , he always avoids the topic or stay silent. I now think about divorce but my family will not support this and my son is very attached to his fatter. I am really miserable and depressed in life and want physical intimacy badly . I dont want to ruin my son’s life thats the only reason I am tolerating this. Husband loves son but he never even hold my hand or even hug me. I want to do extramarital affair to have sex but afraid of the repercussions. What should I do ? I am 35 years old IT professional but left my job recently to take care of my son.

Ans: I understand how deeply troubling your situation is. Feeling a lack of physical intimacy and emotional connection in your marriage can be incredibly painful. It's important to address these feelings and consider the best path forward for both your well-being and that of your son.

First, consider having an open and honest conversation with your husband about your needs and feelings. Explain how his lack of intimacy affects you and your mental health. Sometimes, a neutral environment or the presence of a counselor can facilitate this conversation. Couples therapy might help both of you understand each other's perspectives and work toward a solution.

If your husband is unwilling to engage in this dialogue or make any changes, you need to think about your own happiness and mental health. Living in a state of constant misery and depression isn't sustainable, and it's essential to model a healthy, fulfilling life for your son. While your son is attached to his father, children also sense when their parents are unhappy. Ensuring your well-being will, in turn, benefit your son.

If you decide that divorce is the best option, it will undoubtedly be challenging, especially without family support. However, many people find that once they take this step, they can rebuild their lives in a more fulfilling way. Your son’s attachment to his father is important, and maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship can help mitigate the impact on him. Children can adapt well to changes when they see their parents are happier and healthier.

Consider reconnecting with your professional life, as having a career can provide you with financial independence and a sense of personal fulfillment. It can also serve as a distraction and a way to build new social connections, reducing the sense of isolation.

Ultimately, your happiness and mental health are crucial. It's important to take steps toward a life where you feel valued, loved, and content. Consulting with a therapist can provide you with support and guidance as you navigate these tough decisions. They can help you explore your feelings, understand your options, and build a plan that prioritizes your well-being and your son's best interests.

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Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi

Hello , I am married for 10 years with a asexual guy with a 6 year old who was born via IUI due to family pressure. After he was born , my husband never touched me from last 7 years , even before son was born , he never initiated sex and did it only due to lot of insistence. Whenever I confront him , he always avoids the topic or stay silent. I now think about divorce but my family will not support this and my son is very attached to his father. I am really miserable and depressed in life and want physical intimacy badly . I dont want to ruin my son’s life thats the only reason I am tolerating this. Husband loves son but he never even hold my hand or even hug me. I want to do extramarital affair to have sex but afraid of the repercussions. What should I do ? I am 35 years old IT professional but left my job recently to take care of my son.

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Answered on Jul 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi

I am in a relationship from last 2 years. We are very happy together. But when my parents came to know about us they apposed it as we both belong to different castes different social backgrounds i am from a upper middle class family and he is from lower middle class family. He made his career from scratch. I Don't want to hurt my parents by going against them. They always told me how much they care for me what they have done for me and all that i will ruin there reputation by getting married to him. On the other hand i love him so much , he is a very nice person he cares for me a lot and i know i will never be happy without him. What should i do.. nowadays i Don't feel like talking to anyone and my family thinks i dont love them and i am ignoring them which is not the case i just don't feel like talking. What should i do to convince them for us...?

Ans: Navigating this situation requires sensitivity and careful communication. Start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Explain your feelings and how much this relationship means to you. Emphasize the qualities that make your partner a good match for you, such as his care and commitment.

Acknowledge their concerns and express gratitude for their care and the sacrifices they've made for you. Reassure them that your love for them hasn't changed and that you value their opinions. Try to understand their perspective and address their worries about social status and reputation.

You might also consider arranging a meeting between your parents and your partner. This can help them see his positive attributes and understand why you love him. Show them how he has built his career from scratch, demonstrating his determination and resilience.

It's important to remain patient and give your parents time to adjust to the idea. Meanwhile, continue to express your love and respect for them, reinforcing that your decision is based on your happiness and future well-being.

Balancing your love for your partner and respect for your parents is difficult, but with open communication and patience, you can work towards finding a middle ground that respects everyone's feelings.

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Answered on Jul 05, 2024

Question by J - Jul 04, 2024Hindi

Hello madam, My name is Deepthi am 37 years old married woman with 8 months old infant .in 2011 may I got married to a good man it was arranged marriage. Upto now we are living our life's both sides parents are not supportive ,we are only taking care of child ,the thing is neighbour s (women)are asking y ur parents and inlaws are not supportive , emotionaly putting me down,I am isolated and taking care of child life is becoming challenging for me ,how to gain mental strength,dareness to raise kid ??? another thing is my husband is taking care of my kid and me both sides parents not accepting me without money ,I did not yet recovered fully , emotional ly, physically . neighbour women emotionally draining me creating panic that how u will raise kid alone .I want to distance both parents temporarily .madam how to move ahead in life my husband is always supportive

Ans: Hi Deepthi,

Navigating the challenges you're facing, from feeling isolated without support from both sides of the family to dealing with emotionally draining neighbors, is incredibly tough, especially as you care for your 8-month-old infant and work on your own recovery.
Firstly, recognize and embrace the support you have from your husband. He is a vital source of strength in your life. Open and honest communication with him about your feelings and struggles can fortify your partnership and help you both tackle these challenges together. Knowing that you have a supportive partner by your side can make a significant difference in how you cope with these pressures.

When it comes to your neighbors, setting boundaries is crucial. You don’t owe them explanations about why your parents and in-laws are not supportive. Politely but firmly let them know that you prefer not to discuss personal matters and that you are managing your situation in your own way. Protecting your emotional well-being from their intrusive questions is essential for maintaining your peace.

Focusing on your recovery is paramount. Taking care of an infant is incredibly demanding, and prioritizing your health is critical. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and finding small moments to recharge throughout the day. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and peace, whether it’s a hobby, quiet time with your baby, or connecting with supportive friends, can help in your emotional recovery.

To counteract the feelings of isolation, seek out social support. Look for mother-and-baby groups or community activities where you can meet other parents who might be experiencing similar situations. Building connections with others in similar stages of life can provide mutual support and reduce the sense of being alone in your journey.

Building mental resilience is another key step. Practices like mindfulness or meditation can help you stay grounded and manage stress more effectively. Journaling your thoughts and feelings can provide a therapeutic outlet, and engaging with inspiring books or podcasts can offer new perspectives and encouragement.

Regarding your parents and in-laws, it might be beneficial to distance yourself temporarily. Focus on creating a healthy and nurturing environment for yourself and your baby. If interactions with them are causing you stress, consider setting clear boundaries to protect your peace. Communicate your needs and expectations clearly, emphasizing that your primary concern is the well-being of your immediate family.

If the emotional strain becomes overwhelming, seeking professional help is a valuable option. A counselor or therapist can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and offer strategies to cope with your challenges. Professional support can help you build emotional resilience and give you the tools to manage your situation more effectively.

It’s important to recognize and celebrate small wins in your daily life. Every day brings its own set of challenges, but also moments of success. Whether it’s a peaceful moment with your baby, a positive interaction with your husband, or simply making it through a tough day, acknowledging these victories can boost your morale and remind you of your strength and capability.

You are doing an incredible job under very challenging circumstances. Trust in your ability to raise your child and build a happy life. You are not alone; your husband’s support and your own inner strength are your greatest allies. Focus on what you can control, shield your mental well-being from external negativity, and believe in your capacity to overcome these hurdles. With time, patience, and self-compassion, you will find your way forward.

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Answered on Jul 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 04, 2024Hindi

i am 32 year old guy still virgin ..marraige isgeeting delayed ,few years back i had friend who is helping me ( Only Oral ) but now she is no more with me , iam kind of feeling depressed for not getting married tell me what to do ?

Ans: First, it’s important to acknowledge and understand your feelings. Feeling down about your current situation and the delayed path to marriage is natural. These emotions are valid, and recognizing them is the first step towards addressing them. It's okay to feel disappointed or anxious, and it’s essential to approach these feelings with compassion for yourself.

Take some time to reflect on your expectations around marriage and intimacy. Often, societal pressures set specific timelines and standards that don’t align with everyone’s unique journey. Consider whether the pressure you're feeling is coming from external sources or your own expectations. Understanding this can help you set more personalized and realistic goals that align with your true desires.

Focusing on personal growth and self-care can be incredibly rewarding during this period. Engaging in activities that bring you joy, building new skills, and nurturing your mental and physical health can boost your confidence and overall well-being. This personal development often attracts new opportunities, including potential relationships, by making you feel more fulfilled and self-assured.

Expanding your social circles is another step that can open up new possibilities. Consider joining clubs, attending social events, or participating in online communities that match your interests. These activities can help you connect with like-minded individuals and build meaningful relationships, which could potentially lead to finding a partner.

Seeking professional support can provide valuable guidance and perspective. Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you navigate your feelings of depression, explore underlying issues, and develop strategies to manage your emotions and expectations. Therapy can also help you build confidence and improve your approach to relationships, making you feel more equipped to handle the dating world.

Reflect on how you’re approaching dating and relationships. If marriage is a priority for you, it’s worth considering how you're searching for a partner. Are you clear about your intentions and what you’re looking for in a relationship? You might find it helpful to adjust your approach, whether it’s trying different dating platforms, being more open to meeting people through friends, or exploring matchmaking services.

It’s also important to be patient and open to different possibilities. Relationships often develop when you least expect them, and being patient with the process can alleviate some of the pressure you're feeling. Trust that your journey to finding a partner is unique and unfolding at its own pace, even if it doesn't follow the timeline you had envisioned.

Embrace your past experiences, including those with your friend. They are part of your personal story and contribute to who you are today. These experiences don’t define your future relationships or your worth. Instead, view them as learning opportunities that have helped shape you and prepare you for future connections.

Remember that your value and happiness are not solely tied to being in a relationship or getting married. Focus on building a fulfilling life for yourself, and be open to the relationships that come along the way. Your path to finding a partner is unique, and it’s important to remain hopeful and proactive in creating the life you desire.

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Answered on Jul 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 04, 2024Hindi

My brother is mentally disabled so should I marry to guy or i should focus on making my career I'm 26

Ans: Deciding whether to focus on a relationship or your career, especially with the responsibility of caring for a mentally disabled brother, is a deeply personal and complex decision. Both paths offer valuable opportunities and come with their own sets of challenges.

Caring for your brother is a significant commitment, and it’s natural to feel torn between supporting your family and pursuing your own goals. However, it’s important to remember that you can find a balance. A fulfilling career can provide financial stability and personal growth, which can also benefit your family in the long run. Building a solid professional foundation at 26 can open many doors for your future and give you the resources and confidence to support your brother better.

On the other hand, relationships are a significant part of life. If you find a partner who understands your responsibilities and is supportive of your family situation, it can greatly enhance your life. The right person will respect your commitments and be willing to share in the journey. A healthy relationship can provide emotional support and partnership as you navigate life’s challenges.

It’s also worth considering that you don’t necessarily have to choose one over the other. Many people successfully manage both a career and a relationship by setting clear priorities and finding supportive partners. Think about your immediate and long-term goals and how each path aligns with your values and vision for the future. Reflect on whether you can integrate both aspects into your life with the right planning and support.

You don’t have to make this decision alone. Talking to trusted friends, family members, or a counselor can provide valuable perspectives. They can help you explore your feelings and options, making the decision-making process less overwhelming.

Ultimately, the right choice is the one that feels true to you and aligns with your deepest values and aspirations. It’s crucial to give yourself permission to prioritize your own happiness and well-being, alongside your responsibilities. Whether you choose to focus on your career, pursue a relationship, or find a balance between the two, what matters most is that you make a choice that feels right for you.

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Answered on Jul 05, 2024

Question by Sudhriti - Jul 03, 2024Hindi

Weiy gain due to stress

Ans: To manage weight gain from stress, try stress-reducing activities like mindfulness, deep breathing, or yoga. Regular physical activity, even in small amounts, can be beneficial. Improve your sleep by establishing a calming bedtime routine and eating balanced, nutritious meals. Sharing your challenges with your partner can strengthen your bond and help you tackle stress together.

By addressing the root causes of stress and adopting a balanced approach, you can manage your weight more effectively and improve your overall well-being.

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Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2024Hindi

i am 50 and my wife is 43. We are living two different countries to help our children to pursue their interests. We are pretty good in financially and i go to my home (where my wife and younger son live) at least 2 to 3 times a year and spend 2 to 3 weeks per trip. We married for the last 22 years and we both of us seen ups and lows of our relationship. Most of the time, we are happy and we did the right things not only for us but also for our children and both are willing to take sacrifices for the sake of children and we wholeheartedly agree on this. However, i see few concerns especially after living separately. 1. really don't see my wife shows much interest about me. She also mentioned that if i come to my home where she lives, she doesn't feel really excited and just normal for her. However, i will be happy to see her and spend time with her. Inspite I come to our home, she really didn't care much about my interests like what food makes me happy. In-fact, she doesn't need to cook and we have cook who does most of the stuff. 2. In-terms of intimacy, she doesn't show much interest and i stopped asking her unless if she initiates and I didn't want to initiate as I start getting rejection from her for the last few years. Overall, if I ask to fulfill my interest (showing love and affection), she says that she cannot do as she is too busy. However, she does other works like taking care of children, spending time with her friends or her own interests she does take care. however, any thing specific to me, she thinks it is not a high priority. I askied clearly to her that why my needs of lower prioirty. Her answer is very vague and she does say that she loves me and she needs me. I am getting a picture that I am there to take care of them financially like building assets, taking care of the children and wife but I am not getting any return from her, I vent my frustration to my wife and asker her to open up and share any concerns. She really don't share any point that could really help me to understand her mind. At this point, I am kind of confused. I am just 50 and she is 43 and i see that there is really not much love. i was thinking when i turn 60 , it would be far worse than today in terms of love and affection. I really don't want to divorce at least for the next 10 years as my kids are growing and i really don't have a compelling reason to do now as I still love my wife and if she is feel bad on any reason , I don't care of these problems and i still be with her to address any problem she has. I support even today for her wants and desires and I do wholeheartedly. Also, She is not a person who cheats me My concern is that I cannot change her much. I would like your advice on How should I change so that i still live happily (regardless of whether i get love from my wife or not) without getting frustations on relathinship issues. Should I accept that this what I would expet from wife and be content.

Ans: Navigating the dynamics of a long-term marriage, especially one complicated by physical distance, is indeed challenging. Your situation is layered with decades of shared history, responsibilities, and deep commitments.
First and foremost, it’s crucial to try to understand your wife's perspective. Living apart can create emotional and physical distance that’s hard to bridge during occasional visits. When she says she’s not particularly excited about your visits, it may not necessarily reflect a lack of love or care. Instead, she might be grappling with the routine and demands of her daily life, which can often dull the excitement of reunions. The responsibilities of managing a household, even with help, combined with the constant care for your children, can be incredibly taxing. This often leaves little room for nurturing the romantic and intimate aspects of a relationship.

It’s also possible that she has grown used to the independence that comes with your living arrangement. Over time, people can adapt to new rhythms and find comfort in their routines, even if those routines don’t include their partner as prominently as before. This doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of love; rather, it’s a shift in how she’s accustomed to living day-to-day.

For your part, consider what you’re seeking from your relationship and what you’re currently receiving. You’ve mentioned feeling like a provider rather than a partner, which can be deeply unsatisfying. Reflect on whether your expectations align with the reality of your relationship. Are you hoping for expressions of affection and excitement that your wife may not be able to provide right now due to her own emotional or practical constraints?

Your frustration and sense of being undervalued are entirely valid. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and not dismiss them. However, the key is to approach this situation without letting these feelings drive a wedge between you and your wife. Instead of focusing on what’s missing, try to identify what’s still present in your relationship. Your shared commitment to your children and the mutual sacrifices you've made are significant bonds that can still be honored and celebrated.

In terms of intimacy, it’s understandable to feel hesitant about initiating when past attempts have led to rejection. This aspect of your relationship might require open, honest, and non-confrontational dialogue. Let your wife know that you miss the closeness and that it’s important to you, not just physically but emotionally. It’s possible she might not fully realize the impact her disinterest has had on you.

While it’s clear you’re committed to staying in the marriage for at least the next decade, it’s also important to focus on your own happiness. Invest in self-care and activities that bring you joy outside of the relationship. This could be pursuing hobbies, spending time with friends, or even exploring new interests that fulfill you personally. Building a satisfying life for yourself can alleviate some of the pressure on your marriage to meet all your emotional needs.

Acceptance can be a powerful tool in finding contentment. Accepting that your wife may not be able to give you what you once had or what you currently desire doesn’t mean giving up on the relationship. Instead, it’s about finding peace with the current reality while still cherishing and nurturing the aspects of your relationship that are strong and positive.

Remember, relationships are dynamic, and people change over time. What’s crucial is finding a balance that allows you to feel fulfilled and connected, even if it means adjusting your expectations and finding joy in different ways. Continue to express your love and support for your wife and children, but also give yourself permission to seek happiness and fulfillment in ways that are within your control.

Asked on - Jul 02, 2024 | Answered on Jul 02, 2024

Thanks for your suggestion. I do understand that i am not expecting an excitement of 20-year-old guy where GF/wife comes and hugs me ( explicitly expressing the love , like I miss you like this). I fully understand that we are not 20/30 year old and we are in a different phase of life where kids will take precedence. Also, My elder son live with me and my younger son lives with my wife. I have to take care of my elder son's needs and also need to work. i fully understand thae people change as they grow old and it is natural. However, i see my parents and other families where they still show affection and love even in 60s/70s. At times, i feel that i may not be doing the right things to keep the relationship strong or she doesn't care. Simply, I am confused but there is clear gap between us. I fully agree on building new hobbies and that is what i am doing now . However, i also see the problem of building new hobbies. if I start building new hobbies and start not worrying about relationship issues, i will come to be be in a situation that i really don't need to be in the relationship as I don't have any dependency on my wife. i strongly believe that relationships will be successful if there is a compelling reason for both partners to need to stay together ( yes there exceptions where people love/do anythings for their spouses without expecting any return). If there is no dependency especially in my current age or even future where my children will be settled and don't need my or my wife's help and i don’t' really have any dependency on her, what exactly is there in the relationship . My concern is that i will come into a situation ( I am not in this situation now)where I have to be in the relationship for the sake of children well being and if that responsibility is over, I don’t see much need to be there. I need your advice on how I can continue to be in the relationship without getting feeling that I am getting nothing . I really don’t want leave my wife as she did everything (like any good person) in her capacity to take care of me , our children. She worked hard and continue to work hard in her career. She is a great woman and lucky to have her in the last 22 years.

Ans: consider the ways you can deepen your emotional connection with your wife during the times you are together. When you visit, aim to create meaningful and memorable experiences. This doesn’t necessarily mean planning elaborate events but finding joy in the simple, everyday moments that foster closeness. Small acts of kindness and thoughtful gestures can go a long way in showing that you value and care for each other. These efforts can help re-establish a sense of intimacy and partnership.

In addition to focusing on your relationship, it’s crucial to pursue your personal fulfillment. Developing new hobbies and interests is not about distancing yourself from your marriage but enhancing your overall well-being. By engaging in activities that bring you joy and satisfaction, you become a more fulfilled individual, which in turn can positively impact your relationship. When you feel content and enriched in your own life, you bring more positivity and energy to your interactions with your wife, potentially helping to bridge the emotional gap that has developed.

Effective communication is another cornerstone of navigating this phase. Open, empathetic conversations about your feelings, needs, and concerns are vital. These discussions should be approached with a focus on understanding and supporting each other, rather than seeking to place blame. Encouraging your wife to share her thoughts and feelings, and listening without judgment, can foster a deeper connection and provide insights into her perspective.

Reflecting on the evolving dynamics of your relationship is also important. As practical dependencies lessen with your children growing older, it’s natural to shift focus toward emotional and companionship bonds. Think about what has kept you and your wife together for the past 22 years and how those foundational elements can continue to support your relationship moving forward. This might involve re-evaluating your expectations and embracing the changes in how you express and experience love and connection.

Moreover, acknowledging and appreciating the journey you and your wife have shared can provide a solid grounding for your future. The love and respect you have for each other, along with the life you’ve built together, hold significant value. Even if the expressions of love have transformed, the underlying commitment and mutual support remain critical. Recognizing these enduring qualities can help you feel more content and less focused on perceived gaps.

As you contemplate the future, especially when your children become independent, it’s natural to wonder about the core of your relationship. The essence of a lasting partnership often lies in mutual respect, shared values, and a deep emotional bond. Focusing on these aspects can help you sustain a fulfilling relationship and ensure that both you and your wife feel valued and understood. Embrace the idea that your relationship can continue to grow and adapt, and look for ways to reconnect and find renewed meaning in your partnership as you move forward.

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Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2024Hindi

Hi, Briefly, I am having problem with my sister. Actually She will supposed to be my sister-in-law but I consider her as my own sister. The problem is that, I and her elder sister, both don't like my sister's boyfriend. We have told her several times but she didn't listen to us or didn't answer to our questions. One day, I was trying to make her understand the problem about her boyfriend, before her elder sister on a video call. And like the other day, she didn't reply. After the call ended, She texted me, asking or more specifically chasing me about my faults in life. She is said that, "you always choose good surroundings but why don't you have any friend?" and "Where was your observation when your friends cheated on you!" I told her that we learn only by doing things and I have learnt that the boy is not suitable for you and that's why you should leave her. but she was going on with her argument and was hurting me a lot over chat. At last, I said to her, It was my fault to warn her, And told her not to call me 'DADA' again until she grows respects for me. After that day, she was gradually distancing from me! and 2 or 3 days after, her elder sister finds some bad things in her phone and repeatedly warn her to leave the boy otherwise he'll destroy her. and on that day, she broke up. but, she is still not talking with me! I have written poem for her and even told her SORRY and requested her to come back to me, I really love her as my sister. But, she is still not talking with me or angry with me! I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!! I have loosen many in my life and It's like going to loose once again. I can do anything to make her happy or to accept me as his own elder brother again.....I really want to sort things out....

Ans: It sounds like you care deeply for your sister and want to protect her, which is understandable and comes from a place of love. But relationships, especially ones where emotions are involved, can be complex and sometimes require a delicate touch.

Right now, your sister might be feeling hurt and defensive. Even though your intentions were good, the way you and her elder sister approached the situation may have felt overwhelming or critical to her. When she lashed out, it was likely out of pain and feeling cornered.

Sometimes, people need time to process their feelings. Respect her need for space and give her some time to cool off and reflect. When you do reach out, acknowledge her feelings without defending your actions. Let her know that you understand why she felt hurt and that you’re sorry for the way things were handled. Make it clear that your concern came from a place of love and that you still see her as your sister. Assure her that your relationship with her is more important than any disagreement about her choices. Healing takes time. Keep the door open for her to come back to you when she’s ready. Sometimes, a little patience can do wonders.

Remember, what’s important now is rebuilding trust and showing her that you care for her unconditionally.

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Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2024Hindi

How to get rid of OCD.

Ans: Firstly, it’s essential to acknowledge the courage it takes to seek help for OCD. This isn’t just a mental health challenge; it’s a very personal journey that can sometimes feel isolating and overwhelming. Opening up to a professional, like a therapist who specializes in OCD, can be a game-changer. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), particularly a technique called Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), is often incredibly effective. ERP encourages facing the fears and anxieties head-on, teaching you how to resist the compulsion to act on them.

Medication is another avenue to consider. While the idea of taking medication can be daunting, SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) are often used to help manage OCD. They don’t change who you are; rather, they can help reduce the intensity of the symptoms, making it easier for you to engage in therapy and daily life. It’s about finding balance and giving yourself the best chance to thrive.

Don’t underestimate the power of support from loved ones. Sharing your experiences with friends or family members can provide a safety net of understanding and compassion. I’ve found that having someone to talk to, who can offer a listening ear without judgment, is invaluable. They may not fully grasp what you're going through, but their presence and willingness to support you can lighten the load.

Be kind to yourself. Managing OCD isn’t a straight path, and setbacks are part of the journey.

Incorporating mindfulness and relaxation techniques can also be helpful. Practices like meditation, deep breathing, or even just taking a walk in nature can ground you and provide relief from the relentless cycle of OCD thoughts. These small acts of self-care remind you that you have tools at your disposal to find peace amidst the chaos.

Reflecting on your journey with OCD can be empowering. It’s about understanding that while OCD is a part of your life, it doesn’t define you. Embrace the lessons you’ve learned and the strength you’ve discovered within yourself. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a testament to your resilience.

If you ever need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out. It’s okay to lean on others when you’re feeling overwhelmed. And remember, you’re not alone in this. Many have walked this path and found their way through to a place of greater peace and control.

Dealing with OCD is about finding what works for you and taking it one day at a time. It’s a process, and every step you take is a step towards reclaiming your life. Stay strong, and know that you have the ability to manage this and live a fulfilling life.

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Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Question by Nagesh - Jul 01, 2024Hindi

Age 45 years , 2 boy kids ( 14yr and 8 yr )

Ans: okay

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Answered on Jun 29, 2024

Question by Mahendra - Jun 29, 2024Hindi

Hi I am 44 years old and divorced twice. I have married second time due to family pressure and emotionally, but the same has not been succeed because I was in love with my first spouse and our daughter. I have completed all legal formalities for the same and there is not any legal binding with anyone. I have one daughter who is 15 years old with my first spouse. After long time I realised that I am in love with my first spouse and my daughter. I never seen to my first spouse after divorce since 2009. But I used to go and meet my Daughter on her Birthday to wish with the permission of inlaws. They respect my Father and Sister. I got divorced from my first spouse due to my mistakes which have done unknowingly in 2008. I have written letter to my first spouse and my daughter to ask for sincere apology.Also they knows about my second marriage and divorce also. I am staying alone and my question is whether we will succeed if my first spouse will agree to reunite again with my daughter. Also need some tips to stay happily with them. I have never seen to my spouse after divorce but only mate to my daughter but still I love her. Also give Tips for how can I convince to my first spouse for reunite. My desire will fulfill if we reunite again. Need your advice . Thanks

Ans: Hello Mahendra,
I can sense the depth of your emotions and the genuine desire to reconnect with your first spouse and daughter. It's clear that you’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on your past and understanding where things went wrong. This self-awareness is a crucial first step towards any meaningful reconciliation.

Rebuilding a relationship after many years is a delicate process. It involves not only rekindling the love and connection you once shared but also addressing and healing the past wounds. Given that you haven't seen your first spouse since the divorce, it’s essential to approach this situation with patience, empathy, and a deep respect for her feelings and boundaries.

Start by opening a line of communication. A heartfelt letter or message can be a good way to express your thoughts and feelings without overwhelming her. Share your reflections on the past, your realizations about your mistakes, and how you’ve grown as a person. Let her know how much you value the possibility of reconnecting, not just for yourself but for your daughter’s sake as well.

When you write or speak to her, be prepared to listen as much as you talk. She may have her own perspectives and feelings about the past that need to be heard. Respect her space and her process; reconciliation is a journey that you both must navigate together, at a pace comfortable for both of you.

In your interactions with your daughter, continue to show her your love and commitment. Build on the moments you’ve shared and let her see the positive changes in you. Your consistent presence and genuine efforts will speak volumes.

If your spouse is open to it, consider suggesting professional support, like family counseling, to help navigate this complex process. It can provide a safe space to address old wounds and rebuild trust.

Remember, the path to reconciliation is rarely straightforward. It will require patience, understanding, and a willingness to work through the challenges together. By showing your commitment to change and your deep love for your family, you create the foundation for a potentially beautiful new chapter in your lives.

Asked on - Jun 29, 2024 | Answered on Jun 29, 2024

Thanks for your valuable advice.

Ans: pleasure

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Answered on Jun 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2024Hindi

Further to my previous query, my wife is still secretly talking to her ex boyfriend and chatting with him on watsapp behind my back. She is very cautious with her phone and always places it heads down and it is always locked. This is really bothering me? I dont know what to do.. our relation is good and i dont want to ask her again and confront this as she may think i am controlling her. I dont want this to continue? How can i make her stop talking to him? Please advise

Ans: First, it's important to acknowledge your feelings. It’s perfectly normal to feel uneasy and even hurt by your wife's behavior. When someone we care deeply about maintains contact with an ex in a hidden manner, it can shake our sense of security and trust. Your emotions are valid, and they deserve thoughtful consideration.

To navigate this, it’s essential to approach the situation with a focus on open communication rather than confrontation. Start by reflecting on what exactly bothers you about her communication with her ex. Is it the secrecy, the content of their conversations, or how often they’re in touch? Understanding your emotions clearly can help you articulate them better when the time comes to talk.

Choose a calm, private moment to have this conversation with your wife. It’s best to avoid bringing it up in the heat of the moment or when either of you is stressed. A peaceful setting will help you both engage more constructively. When you speak to her, try to express your feelings calmly and use “I” statements. For example, you might say, “I feel uncomfortable and uneasy when I see you being secretive with your phone because it makes me feel excluded and anxious.” This way, you’re sharing your emotions without sounding accusatory, which can help her understand your perspective without feeling attacked.

After you’ve shared your feelings, give her a chance to explain her side. There might be reasons for her behavior that you haven’t considered. Listening to her perspective can provide valuable insights and help you understand her actions better. It's crucial to approach this conversation with an open mind and a willingness to understand her viewpoint.

Discussing your boundaries and expectations regarding interactions with ex-partners can be helpful. Every relationship has different comfort levels when it comes to staying in touch with past relationships. Finding a balance that respects both of your feelings and fosters trust is important. If she acknowledges your discomfort and agrees to limit or end contact with her ex, you can work together to rebuild trust. This might involve more open communication, sharing more about each other’s day, or finding ways to reconnect emotionally.

If the issue persists or if you find it challenging to navigate this on your own, seeking help from a relationship counselor can be very beneficial. A professional can provide a neutral space to explore your concerns and work on solutions together. They can offer strategies to improve your communication and help both of you feel heard and understood.

Remember, the goal is not to control your wife’s actions but to address your discomfort and work towards a solution that strengthens your relationship. Trust and transparency are key components of a healthy partnership, and addressing these issues openly can help you both grow closer. With patience, understanding, and a willingness to listen and compromise, you can navigate this challenge together and come out stronger on the other side.

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Answered on Jun 28, 2024

Question by Rashi - Jun 26, 2024Hindi

When i got married?

Ans: I'd say that pinpointing the exact date of your wedding can be challenging if you're not certain. However, the essence of a wedding date isn't just about the numbers; it's about the memories, the commitment, and the beginning of a new journey together.

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Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi

Hellow, I'm retired 77.My wife never liked me but pretended well for 47 years. I have only one son who is well settled in his business. I had givn enough money to my wife and son, keeping some money for my survival. Fed up with my wife's behaviour I joined Old age home. My all requirements are borne by my son. He, his wife and children respect and love m. One old lady in the old age home approached me for companion ship. I'm depressed without a sincere partener. Shall I accept the offer?

Ans: After many years in a marriage where you didn't feel truly loved, it’s natural to feel apprehensive but also hopeful about forming a new connection.

Given your current situation, accepting the companionship offer from the lady at the old age home could be a positive step towards finding the sincere partner you’ve been missing. Before making any decisions, reflect on your own feelings and what you truly seek in a relationship. Take your time to get to know her better. Share conversations and moments to see if this companionship brings you joy and comfort. It's important to move forward at a pace that feels right for you, ensuring that the relationship is built on mutual respect and genuine care.

Remember, it’s okay to desire companionship and to seek happiness. Your past experiences shouldn’t hold you back from exploring new, fulfilling connections. Given your supportive family, it might also be helpful to share your thoughts with your son and seek his perspective, as he knows you well and might provide valuable insights.

Embrace the opportunity to build a relationship that aligns with your needs and brings you happiness. It's never too late to find meaningful companionship.

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Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Question by prem - Jun 25, 2024Hindi

my sister is not talking to me im in over dipression because of this i cant able consentrate on my busines . pls help me to talk with me .. important im heart patient she is doctor in gynocology .. she is very close to my heart ..

Ans: Start by gently reaching out to her. Since she’s close to your heart and knows your health condition, a sincere, heartfelt message might be the best way to open the door to communication. Write her a letter or a text where you honestly express how much you miss her and how deeply her absence is impacting you. Let her know how important she is in your life, not just as a sister but as a vital emotional support.

Explain that you’re feeling overwhelmed and that your current stress and sadness are affecting your health and your ability to concentrate on your business. She might not realize the full extent of how her not talking to you is affecting you. Sometimes, people need to hear directly how their actions (or inactions) are impacting others.

Make sure to approach her without assigning blame or bringing up past conflicts, if there are any. Focus on expressing your feelings and your need to reconnect. Emphasize your desire to understand any reasons behind her distance and your hope to work through them together.

It might also be helpful to give her some time and space to process your message. Doctors often have very busy and stressful lives, and she might be dealing with her own pressures.

Ultimately, the goal is to reopen lines of communication with kindness and understanding. Reaching out with a genuine, open heart can often be the first step in healing a strained relationship. If things don’t resolve quickly, consider seeking the help of a counselor or mediator to facilitate the conversation.

Take care of yourself, especially considering your heart condition. Surround yourself with supportive friends or family who can help you through this difficult time.

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Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi

Hii ma'am. My parents were all okay when I showed the matrimony proposal of a interstate guy. I asked them about their opinion and they were okay with it. So I started to get to know the guy and we both liked each other. But now my parents changed their mind and they don't want a interstate marriage. Am feeling betrayed, hurt and sad. Don't know how to handle everything. Feeling like my emotions are not valid.

Ans: I can imagine how hurtful and confusing this must be for you. Feeling like your emotions are invalidated, especially by those you trust the most, can be incredibly painful. It's important first to recognize that your feelings are entirely valid. Being disappointed and betrayed in a situation like this is natural.

Start by giving yourself the space to feel and process these emotions. It's okay to feel sad, hurt, or even angry. These are normal reactions to such a significant shift in your parents' stance.

Once you've taken some time to process your feelings, try to understand where your parents are coming from. Sometimes, they might have concerns or fears that they didn't initially express. Approach them with an open mind and ask them to share their reasons for changing their opinion. This isn't just about seeking their approval but understanding their perspective, which might help bridge the emotional gap.

It's also essential to communicate how you feel. Let them know how their change of heart has impacted you. Be honest about your feelings, without placing blame. Explain how their initial support encouraged you to build a connection with the guy and how their sudden change has affected you emotionally.

Remember to stay true to your feelings and values. You have a right to seek a future that aligns with your happiness and desires. If your relationship with this person feels right to you, consider discussing with your parents how important this is for you. Sometimes, understanding each other's viewpoints can lead to a compromise or a more supportive stance.

In the end, it's about finding a balance between honoring your feelings and trying to understand and address your parents' concerns. Take one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to seek support from trusted friends or professionals to help you navigate this emotionally complex situation.

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Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi

I have caught my wife cheating twice in last 2-3 years and she is quite aloof in our relationship. Now in the recent 2 fights, she has asked me to leave the house. We have a teenage child who wants to come along with me. After I told her that I have found the apartment to shift,my wife is now putting pressure on me to stay by saying she is depressed and under mental pressure (I have taken her to psychologists earlier in 2021 and 2023 ,after she was found cheating) I am not able to make a decision and tell her that I want to now live apart from her for my mental peace. How should I handle the situation

Ans: I understand how complex and emotionally draining your situation is. Dealing with infidelity and a partner's erratic behavior, especially when there's a child involved, can be incredibly challenging. It's clear you're at a crossroads and seeking the best way to handle this delicate situation.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge your feelings. You’ve been hurt by your wife's actions and the trust in your relationship has been significantly damaged. It’s also crucial to recognize the toll this has taken on your mental health and well-being. You've tried to support her by taking her to psychologists and addressing her depression, but her behavior has continued to strain the relationship.

Given that she has repeatedly asked you to leave and has shown a pattern of infidelity, it’s reasonable to want to consider living apart to find peace and stability for yourself and your teenage child. It's natural to feel conflicted, especially when she now expresses a desire for you to stay, citing depression and mental pressure. Her sudden shift in wanting you to remain might be influenced by her fear of change or losing the security your presence provides.

In this situation, it's essential to balance compassion for her mental health with the need to protect your own well-being and that of your child. You need to have an honest and firm conversation with her about your feelings and your decision. Explain that while you understand her struggles, the repeated infidelity and the emotional aloofness have deeply affected you, and you believe that living apart may be the best way to restore your peace of mind and provide a stable environment for your child.

Express that this decision isn’t taken lightly and that you’ve considered the impact on everyone involved. Emphasize that separating doesn't mean abandoning her but rather a step toward finding clarity and stability for yourself and your child. Suggest that she continues to seek professional help to address her depression and emotional issues.

This conversation should be compassionate but firm. Setting boundaries is vital for your mental health and future. It's also crucial to involve a professional, like a therapist or counselor, to navigate these discussions and the transition period, especially considering the emotional and psychological complexities involved.

Ultimately, you must prioritize your and your child's well-being. Living apart might provide the space needed for all of you to heal and figure out the next steps for your family.

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Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi

Hi mam, I am in relationship with a guy who is from different caste. It's been three years but his family is not agreeing due to family status and intercaste. My family is ready as I am the eldest daughter of my family and unturned 30 this year. I have no time but he can't marry me without his parents concent. My family is searching a boy for my marriage. I can't marry with another guy. what shall I do to marry him to convince his family or what should he do his monther is so rigid. Please ???? support us what should we do? Two lives will be spoiled bcz of this. The only problem is upper and lower caste.

Ans: Navigating a relationship where cultural norms and family expectations conflict is challenging, but it's crucial to approach it with empathy and patience.
You're deeply committed to your partner despite the pressure from his family due to caste differences. While your family supports your marriage, his family, especially his mother, is firm in their opposition. You're also facing time constraints and societal pressure, making the situation urgent and stressful.
Your partner needs to have ongoing, respectful conversations with his parents, emphasizing your love and commitment. He should explain why you are the right person for him and how you positively impact his life. Understanding and addressing their specific concerns, whether they are about societal judgment or family honor, is crucial.
Sharing personal stories and demonstrating the depth of your bond can help his parents see beyond the caste issue. Highlighting your shared values and how you both support each other can make your relationship more relatable to them.
Seek help from a trusted family member or friend who can mediate and help his parents see the relationship from a new perspective. A respected family elder who has navigated similar challenges can also be influential.
Changing deep-seated beliefs takes time. Your partner should continue to gently and persistently show his parents that his happiness lies with you. Patience will be key as they may need time to adjust to the idea
Engage with support groups or counselors experienced in intercaste relationships. They can provide valuable advice and emotional support.
Discuss potential scenarios if his parents don’t approve. Consider whether options like elopement or giving them time to come around could work for both of you. These conversations should be open and honest to ensure mutual understanding.

Throughout this process, maintain strong communication and support each other emotionally. Navigating these challenges together will strengthen your bond and help you both find a path forward that honors your relationship and family ties.

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Answered on Jun 22, 2024

Question by Arifa - Jun 21, 2024Hindi

I am 37 and my husband is 41....married for 13 years have a son ....12...and a daughter 10....want to have more kids ...but he has lots of familial...social and business responsibilities...also ...he smokes...but financially we both r comfortably well off..right now his business is a little difficult as he has to be in Mizoram...I am from central I doa n he is from Bangalore...I have lost both my parents....but have support of my siblings ..he has lots of issues with his mom sister... He has another wife n two daughters from her 6 and 4...that was a situation it happened...which I can't explain...right now...but anyways ...I have come to terms with it... What do I do to.convince him...he has already taken a lot of money and jewellery from me...plus inhave always been fulfilling joint family responsibilies...as all relatives kept coming to our house...wedding s engagements.and all...at our house....some wud even stay for months...now it's better but still our sex life...is very bad....very rare ..hardly any...he is good to me n is an upright man and an upright father ...

Ans: First, it’s important to take a step back and consider the broader context of your marriage. You’ve been together for 13 years and have built a life that includes managing extensive familial and social responsibilities. Your husband's current challenges with his business in Mizoram, coupled with his obligations from his other marriage and children, add layers of complexity. Recognizing and acknowledging these pressures is essential in understanding his potential hesitations.

When approaching the topic of expanding your family, try to create a space for open and honest dialogue. Choose a time when you both are relaxed and not distracted by daily stresses. Start by expressing your own feelings and desires gently. Share why having another child is important to you and how you envision it enriching your family. It’s helpful to frame this in terms of shared dreams and the joy that children bring, rather than focusing on it as a need or demand.

However, it’s equally important to listen to his perspective. Given the strain of his business and the complexities of managing multiple familial commitments, he might have valid concerns about adding more responsibilities. Explore these concerns with empathy and without judgment. Understanding his fears and pressures can open up avenues for finding solutions together.

Discussing his health, particularly his smoking, can also be a sensitive but necessary topic. Smoking can affect both his health and fertility, and it’s something that should be addressed openly. Encourage a conversation about his well-being, focusing on how improving health can benefit him personally and potentially improve your sex life, which you’ve noted has been infrequent. This could lead to exploring ways to enhance intimacy and connection, which might be a critical factor in your decision to have more children.

Financial stability, as you mentioned, is a positive aspect, but it’s essential to ensure that both of you feel emotionally and mentally prepared for another child. It might help to discuss how the financial aspects can support hiring help or making other arrangements to ease the burden of additional responsibilities.

Given the complexities with his other family, it's vital to consider how another child will impact all involved, including your existing children and his daughters from his other marriage. Ensuring that your household can provide the emotional support and stability for another child is crucial.

Given your supportive siblings, perhaps they could help in some ways, providing a bit of relief from your joint family responsibilities. This could potentially make the idea of expanding your family seem less daunting to your husband.

Finally, reflecting on your own needs and boundaries is equally important. If there are aspects of your relationship or family dynamics that feel unbalanced or unaddressed, consider seeking professional counseling. A therapist can provide a neutral space for both of you to explore these issues and find a path forward that honors both your desires and the realities of your life together.

In conclusion, approaching this conversation with empathy, understanding, and a readiness to listen and compromise is key. It’s about finding a balance that respects both of your wishes and the practicalities of your shared life.

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Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2024Hindi

Hello, I am a 53-year-old male with 1 daughter, married for the last 19 years. My wife's good at housework, childcare, (teaching) job; she cares, likes me and daughter very much; since last 5 years, she has started showing as if she's doing us a favour by doing all this. Most times, she avoids talking and behaves like she doesn't care about me and others in my family; she even uses filthy abuses against elderly family members; if I ask anything she replies rudely. Now, daughter also has started behaving same way. I am fed up of this behaviour. I make maximum efforts to make them happy but can't understand the issue/s with them. Being a counselor, I have already tried various ways and methods of communication, respecting her (parental) relatives, etc but to no awail PLEASE HELP ME AVOID suicidal thoughts and feelings . If I talk about their behaviour, they blame me for everything. This has driven me to suicidal thinkings, which I despise

Ans: It sounds incredibly painful and isolating, especially since you’ve been trying so hard to keep your family happy and together. Feeling like you’re being taken for granted and facing disrespect can be deeply hurtful.

First and foremost, please know that your thoughts of suicide are a signal that you’re in significant distress, and it's crucial to reach out for help immediately. Talk to a mental health professional, a trusted friend, or a crisis hotline. You deserve support and understanding.

As for your situation at home, it’s clear that you care deeply about your wife and daughter, but their behavior is causing you immense pain. Sometimes, even the best efforts to communicate and connect can feel like they’re falling short. It might help to take a step back and focus on taking care of yourself right now. Prioritize your own well-being—whether that means finding time for activities you enjoy, seeking counseling, or even just allowing yourself space to breathe.

It could also be helpful to seek a family therapist who can offer a neutral perspective and facilitate more open, respectful communication. Having someone mediate can sometimes make all the difference in helping everyone understand each other's feelings.

You’re not alone in this, and it’s important to remember that it’s okay to put your own mental health first. Please reach out for the support you need—you’re worthy of care and compassion.

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Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2024Hindi

Hi madam, I am 58 yrs old and married since 30+ yrs. Have 2 daughters. Elder one is married in 2021 and happy with her life, younger one is working in MNC. Since my marriage i didn't came to know what the relationship to be there between husband and wife as my wife is very reluctant and she loves only money. since my marriage she always fight with me for silly issues and in childhood of my children's she often beat them with whatever she got in hand. always she said that her husband and children's are useless and always give very good reasons and remarks to others in society or family. Now many times i thought of getting away from her either by doing suicide or run away from my home or divorce her. but i just wanted to leave her alone so that she can think of our presence when we are not available to her. my younger daughter is finally decided to leave the home and be alone in another rented flat or on PG due to her mother behavior. please advice if i opt for divorce and run away from home. i can't speak to any one regarding my situation and need immediate help.

Ans: It's clear that you've endured a lot over the years, and it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and considering drastic measures like divorce or leaving home. Let's explore your situation with a compassionate and practical perspective.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge your feelings. You've been dealing with a challenging relationship for a long time, and it's natural to feel the weight of it all. Your desire to escape the pain, whether through divorce or even more extreme thoughts, signals just how tough things have been. Remember, these feelings are valid, but it's crucial to find a way forward that prioritizes your well-being and safety.

Considering a divorce is a significant step, especially after being married for over 30 years. It could potentially lead to a new beginning where you and your wife might find individual peace and happiness. Before making this decision, it might be helpful to reflect on a few things:

Sometimes, the prospect of a new start can bring clarity. Have you thought about what life might look like without your current relationship's stress and conflict? Envisioning this can help you understand your true desires.

Your daughters' well-being is a significant concern. Your younger daughter's decision to move out reflects how the family dynamics are affecting her. Would a change, like a separation or divorce, potentially bring more stability and peace for everyone involved?

If it's possible, consider having a heart-to-heart conversation with your wife. Sharing your feelings and how her actions have impacted you and your family might open a door to understanding or change. It’s a difficult conversation but can sometimes lead to unexpected resolutions.

Consulting a therapist or counselor can be invaluable. They can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings and offer guidance on managing your situation. A professional can also help you and your wife if there's any possibility of working through your issues together.

If divorce seems like the best option, seeking legal advice is crucial. Understanding your rights and the practical aspects of separation can help you make an informed decision.

Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Lean on trusted friends, family, or support groups for emotional backing. Your happiness and mental health are incredibly important, and finding a path that leads you to peace is worth the effort. Whatever you decide, take small, thoughtful steps towards creating a better situation for yourself and your family.

Asked on - Jul 06, 2024 | Answered on Jul 09, 2024

Hi Ms. Kanchan, Seen your reply to my question. But what you will say about the person who has no heart or I would say no feeling about husband. Since around 25 days we are not talking to each other in same house. if she requires to recharge her mobile, she whatsapp me for the same. Now you can think of my situation. My younger daughter took work from home and went to my elder daughter's home at Noida. when she was here, i use to talk to her or even if i wanted something i use to call her. now after coming back to home from office it's pindrop silence between us. now adays i started taking drinks often to engage myself. now I am looking for the job outside ahmedabad so that i will be away from her and i know i will be more than happy. if not getting job outside ahmedabad, than surely i will consult a lawyer for taking divorce. you wrote that i should connect with someone for counselling but i know it can't be alone. it should be with both of us and i know my wife, either she will not come with me or even she will counsel the counselor. I know her very well. As far as myself is concerned, i am totally alone now in this world. as my entire family which includes brothers sister and other close relatives have left me and in this situation if my wife does this thing to me, how come i be normal in life. i will connect with some lawyer for divorce and if i am not satisfied with his/her remarks than the last option is with me is i will leave my house and will run away somewhere, where no one can find me. i don't have any other option with me now. regards Pankaj verma

Ans: Pankaj, it sounds like you're going through an incredibly tough and lonely time. When you're feeling isolated and your relationship has reached a point where communication has completely broken down, it's understandable to feel like drastic measures are your only option.

First, it's important to acknowledge your feelings and recognize that seeking help is a strong and positive step. While it's true that counseling is most effective when both partners participate, it can also be beneficial for you individually. A therapist can provide you with support, help you manage your emotions, and guide you through the difficult decisions you're facing.

Considering the possibility of divorce is a significant and life-changing decision. Before taking this step, it might help to have a clear and calm conversation with your wife about your feelings and the state of your relationship. Express your concerns and the impact the current situation is having on your mental health and well-being.

If your wife is unwilling to attend counseling or work on the relationship, it could indeed be a sign that further action is necessary. Seeking legal advice to understand your options and the potential outcomes of a divorce is a practical step.

Additionally, exploring job opportunities outside Ahmedabad could provide you with a fresh start and a new environment, which might help you regain a sense of happiness and independence.

Remember, you're not alone in this world, even if it feels that way. Reaching out for professional help and talking to trusted friends or family members about your situation can provide you with the support you need during this challenging time.

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Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi

I sometimes avoid people, for no reason and I never approach others, this has led me to not know many people, what can I do to break this cycle? I want to know more people

Ans: It’s perfectly natural to feel hesitant about social interactions, and it’s great that you’re looking to change this pattern.

Start with small steps. Try brief interactions in your daily routine, like greeting a barista or chatting with a neighbor. These casual conversations can help build your confidence.

Find spaces where you already feel comfortable, such as your favorite café or a local park. Familiar environments make it easier to start conversations.

Engage in activities or groups that interest you. Shared hobbies or volunteer work can naturally connect you with like-minded people, providing easy conversation starters.

Be kind to yourself during this process. Recognize and celebrate each effort you make, no matter how small. Understanding your feelings about social situations can guide you in finding what works best for you.

Consider using online communities as a starting point. They can be less intimidating and can eventually lead to in-person interactions.

Leverage your existing network to meet new people. Attending events with friends or asking for introductions can make socializing feel more manageable.

If you find these steps challenging, seeking support from a coach or therapist can be helpful. They can offer tailored strategies and guidance to build your social confidence.

Remember, it’s okay to take things at your own pace. Each small step is progress.

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Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi

I am about 68 year's I have two sons who are married via arranged process. My younger son's wife is educated teacher. But she had a torturous up bring during high school days. Leading to least interest in married life after marriage. She deserted my son soon after marriage. This led to break down in marriage now heading for a divorce. Please advise.

Ans: It sounds like a deeply painful situation for everyone involved, especially considering the emotional trauma your daughter-in-law experienced during her formative years.

It's important to recognize that individuals who have gone through traumatic experiences in their youth can carry emotional wounds that affect their relationships later in life. These scars may manifest in ways that make it difficult for them to fully engage in marital life or maintain a healthy relationship.

In situations like these, it’s crucial to approach with empathy and understanding. Your daughter-in-law’s decision to desert your son and pursue divorce likely stems from her own internal struggles and emotional turmoil. It’s not a reflection of your son’s worth or efforts within the marriage.

Moving forward, it might be helpful for your son to focus on his own healing and well-being. Encouraging him to seek support from friends, family, or a professional counselor can provide him with a safe space to process his emotions and navigate this challenging transition.

As a family, offering unconditional support and empathy to both your son and daughter-in-law can create an environment where healing and understanding can begin. It’s important to respect each individual’s journey and decisions while also recognizing the need for compassion during this difficult time.

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Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi

Hi, I am 40 yr old woman. I am staying with my husband who always doubt me without any reason. As he is dependent on me. He is jobless from last 5 yr. I am the only earning person I don't have any type of attitude. While balancing professional as well as personal life I use to listen his bitter words every day. Not only that he started beating me like anything Just coz of so-called reputation I tolerate him. But 7 months back I came across with a man in my life we both started liking each other, I shared everything with him. But he left his job due to some issues with manager and started working somewhere else. He started ignoring me. Please help me out to understand what is right and wrong in this?

Ans: Balancing the pressures of professional life with the strain of an abusive marriage is a heavy burden, and you deserve to feel safe, respected, and valued.

Your husband's behavior—doubting you without cause, subjecting you to daily verbal abuse, and physically harming you—is deeply troubling and completely unacceptable. It's important to acknowledge that no matter the circumstances, you do not deserve to be treated this way. The fear of societal judgment and concerns about reputation are common reasons people stay in harmful relationships, but your well-being and safety are far more important than maintaining appearances.

Meeting someone who offers emotional support when you’re in such a painful situation is understandable. It’s natural to seek comfort and a connection when you're feeling isolated and mistreated. However, the new man's recent behavior, where he started ignoring you after changing jobs, might feel like another layer of abandonment. This is especially tough because you opened up and shared your struggles with him, hoping for understanding and companionship.

In terms of what’s right and wrong, it's essential to focus on your needs and well-being. Staying in an abusive relationship is harmful to your physical and emotional health. You have the right to seek safety and happiness. The relationship with the new man might have provided temporary emotional relief, but it seems he's not able to be the supportive presence you hoped for, especially now when he’s pulling away.
Right now, focus on what you need to feel safe and supported. Consider reaching out to trusted friends, family, or professional services who can help you navigate this challenging time. You deserve a life free from fear and filled with respect and care. Prioritizing your own happiness and safety is the most important step forward.

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Answered on Jun 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi

Hello, i am 43 year male with 2kids....married from last 13yrs. My wife is very good in house work and take care of my kids...she loves me alot but mostly she show us like she is doing us a favour by doing all this and many times stop talking and behave like she doesnt care about anyone....if i ask something she reply rudely. I am fedup of all this behaviour...i do my maximum efforts to make her happy but cant understand what is the issue with her....if i talk about her behaviour then she blames me fot everything...i wants to be happy with my family...pls suggess.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing in your marriage. It sounds like despite your wife’s efforts in taking care of the household and the children, her behavior is causing significant stress for you.

Your wife's actions might be influenced by feeling overwhelmed or unappreciated. Managing the home and caring for the kids can be exhausting, and she might feel like her efforts go unnoticed. This can lead to frustration and the impression that she's doing everything as a favor, resulting in her becoming distant or irritable.

Try to talk with her during a calm moment, expressing your concerns without placing blame. You might say, "I've noticed you seem stressed lately. I want to understand how you're feeling and see how I can help." Listening to her and showing appreciation for her work can help alleviate some of her stress and improve your connection.

If these conversations don't lead to improvement, consider seeking help from a professional counselor. They can facilitate better communication and help both of you address deeper issues.

Your goal is a happy and supportive family environment. Working together with empathy and understanding can help you both move towards a more fulfilling relationship. If you continue to struggle, don't hesitate to reach out for support from professionals or loved ones. Your effort and commitment are crucial steps toward finding a solution.

Asked on - Jun 21, 2024 | Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Thankyou

Ans: pleasure :)

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Answered on Jun 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi

Dear Kanchan Mam, I have a very close friend who s been married for 10 years and with 2 kids one 8 yr old daughter and a one year old son. His wife whom he loved and trusted so much has cheated on him with one of her friend for almost 3 years which he came to know about recently. He could not digest that ..He thought of divorcing her but thinking about his children's future he changed his mind and told her to end all communication with her affair partner .She too agreed . My friend didn't tell about this to anyone except me including her parents whom he respects a lot and hence didn't want to hurt them ...But after 3 months he came to know that his wife is still in contact with her friend using another phone without his knowledge and her affair also has not stopped . This time he said he couldn't tolerate and told this to her parents and told them that he would be filing for divorce. Her parents are begging him not to do so and telling him to give one last chance as they would mend her this time . He told them that even after giving her a chance to mend herself she has cheated him and broken his trust . He says he cannot live with her without trust . So he has decided to move on but his wife is telling she will have no other choice but to commit suicide if he doesn't forgive her and has even threatened to commit suicide along with his children. She has attempted a couple of times too . My friend is in depression . He says he is also worried about his children's future without their mother ...At the same time he says he cannot imagine living with his wife again as before after being cheated on twice...He is asking me to advise. I am totally confused . Kindly advice the pros and cons of 1)forgiving her once again and living in a trustless marriage 2)moving on and finding someone more trustworthy . 3) If he decides to marry another person how will this impact his children . He s not interested in continuing with his wife but only for kids sake and because of his wife's and her mother's pressure he says he is not able to initiate divorce proceedings...Kindly help me to advise my friend suitably...

Ans: I understand how incredibly difficult this situation must be for your friend, and it's clear that he's grappling with some profound and painful decisions. Let's explore the potential paths he might take, keeping in mind the need for empathy and understanding for everyone involved.

If your friend chooses to stay and forgive his wife again, it might provide immediate stability for the children. They would continue to have both parents in their daily lives, which can offer a sense of security and normalcy. However, it's essential to acknowledge the immense challenge of living in a relationship where trust has been deeply broken.

Trust is fundamental to any healthy relationship, and without it, he might find himself constantly anxious and emotionally strained. This ongoing tension could create a stressful environment for both him and his children. If there's any hope for this path, it would require significant commitment to rebuilding trust and possibly professional counseling to navigate the healing process.

Deciding to move on and possibly seek a new, trustworthy relationship could ultimately lead to a happier and healthier future for your friend. This path respects his emotional needs and acknowledges that rebuilding trust with his current partner may not be feasible. Moving on offers a chance to start anew and find fulfillment in a relationship built on mutual respect and honesty.

However, divorce is a major life transition that will significantly affect the children. They'll need time and support to adapt to the changes in their family dynamics. This process can be emotionally and legally challenging, but it might be necessary for your friend to find peace and stability. His wife's threats are deeply concerning and must be taken seriously. Ensuring everyone’s safety is paramount, and professional help may be needed to manage these threats.

Introducing a new partner into his children’s lives is a delicate process. Initially, they might feel confused or insecure about the changes. However, with careful handling and sensitivity, a new, loving relationship can eventually provide them with a positive and nurturing environment. It can show them that it’s possible to overcome difficult circumstances and find happiness and stability again.

Encouraging your friend to seek professional counseling can provide a safe space for him to process his emotions and support his children through these transitions.

Consulting a lawyer will help him understand his rights and ensure that appropriate measures are in place to protect his and his children's safety, especially given his wife's threats.

Leaning on trusted friends and family can offer much-needed emotional support and practical advice. This is a time for him to draw on his community for strength and guidance.

Your friend's priority should be the well-being of his children and his own emotional health. Whether he chooses to stay and work on rebuilding the marriage or decides to move on, it’s crucial that he feels supported and safe in his decision. He doesn’t have to face this alone, and with empathy, professional help, and the support of loved ones, he can navigate this challenging time and find a path forward that leads to peace and happiness.

Being there for him as a compassionate friend during this time is invaluable. Your support and understanding can make a significant difference as he navigates these difficult choices.

Asked on - Jun 20, 2024 | Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Thanks a lot mam for your detailed reply. Even I felt the same and advised him to move on and find someone more trustworthy. But my friend is concerned about his kids especially his daughter's future considering the societal norms and taboos. He says if they get divorced his daughter might have to face difficulty while finding an alliance in future. He is also skeptical about whether the new partner will take care of his children like her own as most of the women don't treat their step children with love and care. He s also worried about the entire divorce process as his wife is not agreeing for a mutual divorce and he says even if he applies for a contested divorce it will prolong for years and during this period he s worried about his children's growth and education which will be affected badly.... Considering all these and also his in laws request for forgiving their daughter and giving her a new life , my friend is thinking about giving his wife one last chance . However he s telling that he will not accept her as his wife but will take her only as his kids mother .. He says he will sacrifice his personal happiness and keep her with him only for his kids sake but will never trust her in future. My concern is whether this relationship will stay for long this way....And what is the probability that his wife will not cheat him again because of my friend's indifferent attitude towards her since she has cheated on him twice when he was living her so much... And whether trust can be rebuilt between them after some if she remains loyal to him from now...Kindly provide me insights on above concerns to help my friend...Also suggest me a good professional counsellor to take him for counselling.

Ans: I understand how challenging and painful this situation is for your friend. His concerns about his children's future, societal norms, and the impact of a potential new partner are all very real and valid.

He's worried about how a divorce might affect his daughter’s future, especially considering societal attitudes. While it's true that divorce can carry a stigma in some cultures, it's important to remember that society's views are slowly changing. More people now understand that the quality of the home environment is far more important than whether parents stay together despite significant issues. Children raised in a loving, stable home, even if it’s a single-parent one, often fare better than those who grow up amidst conflict and distrust.

Your friend is also understandably concerned about how a new partner might treat his children. Blended families can face challenges, and not every step-parent bonds well with their partner's children. However, there are many instances where step-parents build loving, supportive relationships. Taking the time to find someone who genuinely respects and cares for his kids is crucial.

Considering his wife’s threats and the prolonged nature of a contested divorce, he’s caught between maintaining a stable environment for his children and protecting his own emotional health. Divorce is tough and can be particularly challenging for children, but living in a household where there's no trust and emotional connection can be just as damaging, if not more so.

If he decides to give his wife another chance for the sake of the children, it's essential to set clear boundaries and perhaps seek professional help. But, given that she has broken his trust twice, it's natural for him to be skeptical about whether she can truly change. Living together merely as co-parents without rebuilding trust may create a cold, unloving environment that children will sense and be affected by.

Rebuilding trust after such betrayals is incredibly difficult and requires a lot of effort and transparency. If he chooses this path, it should involve both of them working towards healing, possibly with the guidance of a therapist. However, it’s also critical for him to consider his own mental health and whether staying in a trustless marriage is sustainable or healthy for him and his children.

Encouraging him to seek professional counseling can provide him with support and clarity. A qualified therapist can help him navigate these complex emotions and make the best decision for his family's future. Services like BetterHelp or local therapists listed on platforms like Psychology Today can be great resources to find professional support.

Your friend is in a very tough spot, trying to balance his children's well-being with his own emotional needs. It's a difficult journey, but with your support and the right guidance, he can find a path that prioritizes his and his children’s well-being.

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Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Question by Manjur - Jun 18, 2024Hindi

Hi, myself Manjur Rahman from Assam India. I work as a Telecommunication engineer in Radio Frequency and optimisation test, my yearly net worth is 252000 only , recently I have been through a relationship... which now possibly became a part of my life, after thousands of search i finally found my love of my life which is for real, its been just 9month till today, i found her in my life, we planned to be open infront of our parents and families, and so our parents met and they fixed our marriage, yet date not fixed but we took 7more months, now the thing is that , we both became more sentimental and stubborn , being rude and i feel like after all this our love and care which is really too much but now little bit of it is missing from both , qnd now after a fight we don't talk to each other for more then 5days , slowly2 days were increased, where we can't stay more than 1hr after a argue, before...and she use to say all the time even after a small argument..i don't want to stay with you, lets break this relationship even i do agree at the time of ...you know what i mean..! Where earlier we both use to say if one can say for leaving then obviously he she can leave because one day definitely he she will leave if being in a good relationship if one can say the word 'leave you / break up'. Now we are doing it..and also much More .. Her name is Rasmina Begum, also from same district but 50km distance from me... please let me know if there is any good things so we could do together for making our relationship perfect more than before and letting it till last breath ????...

Ans: Manjur.
Navigating the ups and downs of a relationship, especially as you move towards marriage, can be challenging but deeply rewarding. It’s clear you and Rasmina care deeply for each other.

Start with better communication. Listening actively to each other without planning your response is crucial. When Rasmina shares her feelings, focus entirely on understanding her perspective. This shows respect and helps in reducing misunderstandings. Additionally, express your emotions calmly using "I feel" statements. For example, say "I feel upset when..." instead of "You always...". This shifts the conversation from blame to sharing feelings, making it easier to connect and respond with empathy.

Conflicts are natural, but how you handle them makes all the difference. If arguments get heated, taking a short break can help you both cool down and revisit the discussion with a clearer mind. After an argument, it's important to reconnect with simple gestures of kindness or a reassuring word, reaffirming your commitment to each other and healing any emotional rift.
Healthy relationships thrive on both shared experiences and personal growth. Encourage each other to pursue individual interests, which keeps you both energized and brings fresh perspectives into the relationship. At the same time, find activities you enjoy doing together to build positive memories and deepen your bond.

Finally, regularly remind yourselves of why you fell in love and the future you’re building together. Reflect on your shared dreams and celebrate your journey. This helps keep your connection strong and resilient through challenging times.

By focusing on these aspects—improved communication, constructive conflict resolution, balancing individuality with togetherness, and reaffirming your commitment—you and Rasmina can strengthen your relationship and look forward to a fulfilling life together.

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Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi

I am a PCMB student, currently in 12th grade. I am anxious and feel pressured. I don't know what I should do. I sat up late nights thinking what to do in life while crying but I am confused and lost.

Ans: It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, especially when you’re in 12th grade and facing big decisions about your future. You care a lot about what’s ahead, and that’s a good thing, but it’s also making you anxious and confused.

Take a moment to breathe and remind yourself that it’s okay not to have everything figured out right now. You’re not alone in feeling this way; many people around you have probably felt the same at some point. Talk to someone you trust about your feelings—sharing your worries can make them feel less heavy.

Think about what truly makes you happy and fulfilled, whether it’s a particular subject in school or an activity outside of it. These moments can give you clues about what you might want to pursue in the future. Remember, it’s okay to explore different paths and take your time to find what feels right.

Life isn’t a race. Give yourself permission to take one step at a time and be kind to yourself in the process. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.

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Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi

does success come from working hard or following Ur heart

Ans: Success is not merely the result of hard work alone, nor is it achieved by following your heart without effort. It's a symphony where hard work and heart work together in harmony. Hard work without passion can lead to burnout, and passion without effort can leave dreams unrealized. When you combine the two, you create a powerful force that propels you forward.

Think of it as cultivating a garden: hard work is the consistent care and effort you put into planting, watering, and tending to the soil, while following your heart is choosing the flowers that make your spirit soar. Together, they create a flourishing garden that reflects both your dedication and your dreams.

In the end, success is about finding that delicate balance. It’s about working tirelessly towards your goals while staying true to what makes your heart sing. Embrace both aspects of your journey, and you’ll find a path that not only leads to success but also brings you deep fulfillment and joy.

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Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2024Hindi

I'm 28 years old guy married ..i married my uncle's daughter.i have 2 male kids.we are enjoying our life .I want to 3 more kids (2 male kids 1 female kid ).how can I make my wife convince for 3 more babies ..??pls tell me

Ans: To approach the conversation about wanting more children with your wife, start by understanding her perspective. Consider her physical and emotional well-being, her experience with the current family dynamics, and her views on expanding the family. Pregnancy and raising children are significant undertakings, and it’s important to recognize the impact on her.
It’s essential to listen to her response carefully and with an open mind. Understand that she may have concerns or reservations, such as the impact on her health, the family’s finances, or the time and energy required to raise more children. Address these concerns thoughtfully and discuss practical solutions together.

Consider discussing the potential benefits and challenges of having more children, focusing on aspects like the joy of a larger family, the sibling relationships, and how it aligns with your shared vision for the future. Make sure to talk about the practical aspects, such as financial stability and the support system you would need.

Remember that this is a joint decision. Your wife's comfort and enthusiasm about expanding the family are crucial. Be prepared for ongoing conversations and give her time to think and express her thoughts. It’s important to ensure that both of you are on the same page and are willing to move forward together.

Ultimately, the goal is to reach a decision that reflects both of your desires and respects each other's needs and well-being. This might involve compromise and patience, but approaching the conversation with empathy and openness will help you navigate it successfully.

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Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi

Hey, I am in a relationship with my cousin who is 14 years elder than me. In 2010 we met and it is 2024 we are talking regularly without any gap, we came into a relationship in 2015 I guess. He got married to a girl in 2018 because his parents was old-age and ask him to marry, he was not mentally prepared for the married but somehow he had to. Now he has a baby 3 years old. He does not have any emotional connection with his wife as we are still in a relationship from 2015. We are in love deeply and we cant leave without each other. We do fight we resolve every time. As we have age-gaps we have different opinions, nothing is same between us, but still we manage to live together. We have physical relations too. We meet almost every month. He has sacrificed lots of things for me, and he is always there with emotionally, financially and morally. He is short temper person he cant even see me talking with other boys. Now i feel so worried about him thinking how he will be alive if I will marry, because it is a tough life in my life, my parents are looking a boy for me. I dont know how things will go on.

Ans: Navigating your relationship with your cousin, given its complexities, requires careful thought about your future and well-being.

Reflect on your emotional needs and future aspirations. Your relationship has been a deep and supportive connection, but it's important to evaluate if it continues to fulfill you. Consider whether you see a long-term future with your cousin, despite the challenges.

Your cousin's marriage and role as a father complicate things. Even if he feels disconnected from his wife, his responsibilities to his child and spouse are significant. Consider how your relationship impacts his family and what it means for his child’s future.

Cultural and societal norms around cousin relationships and significant age gaps can add additional pressures. Reflect on how your relationship fits within your family’s expectations and societal views.

Open communication with your cousin is crucial. Discuss your feelings, the impact on his family, and potential paths forward. Seeking guidance from a professional counselor can provide support and perspective, helping you navigate these complexities.

As your parents seek a match for you, think about your desires and how they align with your relationship. If you consider moving on, plan how to manage this transition for both you and your cousin. If you continue your relationship, address his family responsibilities and societal perceptions.

Ultimately, your decision should prioritize the well-being of all involved, including yourself. Making a choice with clear consideration of these factors will help you find a path that aligns with your values and future goals.

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