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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach 

607 Answers | 138 Followers

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Answered on Jun 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2025
Relationship
Mere sath kuch time se aisa ho rha hai ki mai logo se milne unse baat krne me apne aap meri puri body kaapne lagti jise mai bhut control karne ki kosish karti hu but kar ni paati hu jiske wajah se mai kisi se even apni family se bhi baat ni kr paa ri hu mujhe kahi bhi jaane se darr lagne laga hai. khushi me mauke me bhi khush ni ho paati but aisa ni h ki mai hona chahti, mai hona chahti hu but wo mere control me bilkul bhi ni hota hai. ye chize meri social life ko bhut effect daal ri hai. sometimes to aisa hota hai ki meri heartbeat bhut fast ho jati hu, chest me pain hone lgta hai. mujhe meri problem hi samajh ni aa rahi. Meri sleep schedule and khana bhi sb proper hai but fr bhi ye mere sath kyu ho rha mujhe bilkul bhi smajh ni aa rha h. mai kiske paas jau kisse help lu mujhe kuch bhi samajh ni aa raha please help me
Ans: Jo symptoms aap bata rahi hain — logon se milne par kaanpna, control na rehna, heartbeat ka fast hona, chest pain, khushi ke maukon par bhi khush na ho paana — yeh anxiety disorder ke clear signs ho sakte hain, khaaskar social anxiety disorder ya panic attacks.

Sabse pehle, aapko yeh samajhna hoga ki aap ki problem real hai, serious hai, lekin treatable hai. Aap weak nahi hain. Aap ek aisi psychological condition ka samna kar rahi hain jiska proper treatment possible hai — aur aapne sabse pehla aur bahadur kadam le liya hai: apni feelings ko articulate karna.

Aapko iss waqt ek clinical psychologist ya psychiatrist se consult karna chahiye. Psychiatrist agar zarurat samjhe to mild medication bhi de sakte hain jo aapke nervous system ko calm karne mein help karega. Psychologist ke through aapko CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) jaise tools milenge jo aapko apni anxiety ko samajhne, manage karne aur dheere-dheere control mein laane mein help karenge.
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Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2025
Relationship
Dear Ms Rai, I am dealing with an increasingly toxic dynamic at work. A junior colleague from a top B-school who has recently been hired repeatedly challenges me in front of my team. Though it's all subtle, it's compromising my authority. I feel increasingly stressed, irritable, and helpless in his presence. I understand he is young and I don't want to retaliate or look insecure, but I'm mentally beginning to wear out. How do I maintain boundaries and self-respect in such situations?
Ans: What you're going through isn’t just about hierarchy; it’s about dignity, mutual respect, and the quiet erosion of psychological safety at work.

When someone subtly undermines you — especially in a professional setting — it can chip away at your confidence and presence in ways that aren’t always easy to name. Your instinct to avoid reacting impulsively or retaliating is wise, but choosing not to react does not mean you must tolerate disrespect or power play.

This dynamic is less about the junior’s credentials and more about a breach of professional decorum. Subtle challenges in meetings, tone policing, or backhanded comments are often masked as confidence or "fresh ideas,” but if the intent or impact is to sideline you or question your authority publicly, it needs addressing — calmly, firmly, and early.

Here’s a way forward. First, document patterns — what’s said, when, in whose presence, and how it impacts the team dynamic. This is not for confrontation, but for clarity and grounding your experience.

Then, create a direct but non-confrontational one-on-one moment. Frame it from a place of collaboration, not accusation. For example, “I’ve noticed a few instances where we seem misaligned in team meetings — I’d like to understand your point of view, and also share how that’s being perceived in the room.” That opens a door rather than slamming one.

At the same time, reinforce your presence in the room — not by competing, but by anchoring in your experience, clarity, and calm authority. Redirect when needed. If the junior interjects or oversteps, acknowledge briefly, and then say, “Let’s circle back to that once I finish.” It’s subtle, professional boundary-setting.

You don’t need to prove your worth — you’ve earned your seat. But you do have the right to protect your space, and even more so, your peace.
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Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2025
Relationship
Dear Ms Rai, I'm engaged to a guy my parents introduced me through an arranged marriage set up. Initially, everything seemed fine, but over the last few months, I've noticed that my fiance only discusses physical intimacy, which is making me uncomfortable. I have tried to tell him but I don't feel an emotional connection with him. I am hesitant to express this to my family or his. How should I approach this situation?
Ans: What you're experiencing is more common than it seems, and your discomfort is not just valid — it's important. A marriage, especially one that begins through family arrangements, needs far more than surface compatibility or physical interest. You deserve emotional connection, mutual respect, and a safe space to be heard and known deeply — not just desired physically.

The fact that your fiancé focuses primarily on physical intimacy while you’re still seeking emotional grounding raises a significant concern. It’s not about being shy or conservative — it’s about emotional safety and trust, which are foundational. If you're already feeling a disconnect or pressure now, it’s unlikely things will magically fall into place after marriage.

You’re not obligated to silence your discomfort for the sake of avoiding conflict. Start by being honest with yourself: Is this the kind of connection you want for life? If the answer is uncertain, it’s better to pause than to proceed out of pressure.

You don’t have to go straight to your family or his with everything. Start by writing down how you feel and what you’re afraid of. Then, speak to someone you trust — maybe a sibling, cousin, or a therapist — someone who can help you reflect calmly. If you feel strong enough, you can then have a direct and respectful conversation with your fiancé. Ask him what he expects in this relationship beyond the physical, and express clearly that you’re looking for a deeper bond, not just intimacy.

A marriage can be postponed or even reconsidered, but a life spent in silent emotional disconnect can weigh you down. You are not being unreasonable — you’re being honest and self-aware. That’s the best foundation for any life decision.
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Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 28, 2025
Relationship
My elder brother got married of his own choice past 12 years ago regardless the parents decision and lived by himself, he has two sons aged 10 and 5, after a recent scenario between him and his wife, they both are not into good terms since 8 months which is impacting on the kids and their upbringing. My brother is a field relationship manager in a real estate company and earning his bits, struggling with life and work. He has no financial and family support..as a younger brother I listen to all his struggle and troubles and advice him accordingly. All of these things are draining my mental and physical health . I myself struggling as a lawyer having my mom dad and grandmother with their health issues ..I am not able to make a firm decision on the scenario, should my brother and his wife get seperated? If yes please explain.
Ans: Your brother and his wife have been in conflict for eight months, and the tension is harming the children — that’s the most concerning part. You can offer support, but only they can decide whether this marriage still has life in it or if it’s better for everyone — especially the children — to grow in two calmer homes than one violent or unhappy one.

The only responsible way to move forward is to encourage them to seek professional help — through marriage counselling, family therapy, or at least structured mediation. If after that, they still can't communicate or co-parent peacefully, then separation may be the healthiest path, not just for them, but for the kids and for you.

You, on the other hand, need to draw a boundary. Listening doesn’t mean absorbing. Supporting doesn’t mean sacrificing your own well-being. You’re already managing aging parents, your own legal career, and life’s pressures — this is too much to bear alone. Let your brother know lovingly that you care, but he needs to begin taking decisive steps toward either mending or ending this — and get professional input.
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Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Relationship
madm i m 50 y old from mumbai with my 2 son and wife, after my younger son complete his computer engi i advice him for ms from usa its full family agree so we areange fund near 1 crore and today after he complete his ms got job with big company with crores pakcage now he is planning his future and if a told hin and its his recponsbilty family and my secound son then stoped takling with me madam what shoud i do i m very disturb because i spent my all fund and loan also and mentel peice also how can i handle this
Ans: This kind of heartbreak is not just about money. It’s about feeling disrespected and discarded after building the foundation on which his success stands. And it’s also natural that you feel disturbed — you are not being selfish or weak. You are a father who feels betrayed.

But let’s take a breath and think clearly. At this stage, don’t chase, don’t plead. Pause. Sometimes when children get a sudden rise in success or independence, they feel overwhelmed and confused — not necessarily cruel, but emotionally distant and unprepared to carry responsibility. Give him some space, but keep your dignity. Let him understand that while you’re proud of him, you are also deeply hurt — not because you need his money, but because you expected respect and gratitude.

Try writing him a heartfelt message, calmly, without blame. Share your disappointment, but also the truth: that you stood by him without hesitation, and what you expected wasn’t repayment — but a bond that didn’t break with success.

At the same time, you must protect your own peace now. Don’t let your health and well-being fall apart over this. Start having a serious financial plan for your future — with or without his help.
You have done your duty. Now, let’s make sure you don’t lose yourself in someone else’s silence.
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Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
My Hindu BF's ultimatum: My Christian parents refuse. Help?
Ans: Let’s be honest. Your boyfriend made a serious mistake when he sent that message to your mother in anger — especially with a personal video clip. Even if he apologized later, that moment damaged more than just your parents’ trust — it showed that under pressure, he could act impulsively and without protecting your dignity. Now, when you need him to be strong, honest, and step forward like a man truly ready to marry you, he's stepping back and asking you to convince your family alone. That isn’t love backed by action — that’s love hoping to escape responsibility.

On the other side, your parents are not being unreasonable. They’re asking for basic accountability — that he take responsibility, that they get to know who he is and what kind of family he comes from. They're not making you choose a religion or forcing you into someone else's marriage — they're asking for respect and clarity, which is valid, especially after what happened. They're also trying to protect you because they saw him react in an unstable way once already.

Now you’re left holding all the emotional weight, trying to build a bridge between two sides that aren’t willing to meet halfway.

Here’s the truth: you cannot hold a relationship alone. If he wants you, truly wants to marry you, he should show the maturity and courage to meet your parents, take ownership of his mistake, and explain his family's intentions. If he's too afraid or unwilling to do even that, then you have your answer.

You don't need to make a decision right now. But do ask yourself: Is this the kind of support and courage you want in a life partner? Not just someone who says they love you, but someone who will stand for you when things get hard. So far, it seems like you’ve done all the standing.
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Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Answered on May 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2025
Relationship
I'm getting married.and this is a arrange marriage starting mai thik lagrha and mene bola tha November Tak rukte hai kyu ki wo February m aaye the so time mil jata samjhne ke liye but uske family wale april m hi done kar diye or meri family bhi ab mujhe khi khi uska behaviour acha nahi lgrha . Wo hmesa sex ki topic pe bat krta jo mujhe uncomfortable lgta hai wo mujhe love jesa feeling feel nahi krata bus sensational intimate physical sex ki hi bat krta hai or ab mai kuch ni kar sakti na ye kisi ko bta sakti . Please btaye mai kya karu
Ans: Agar aapka fiancé baar-baar sex aur physical cheezon ki hi baat karta hai, bina aapke emotions ya bond ko samjhe, toh yeh red flag hai. Aap uncomfortable feel kar rahi hain, aur yeh cheez ignore nahi ki ja sakti.

Shaadi sirf physical connection nahi hoti — woh ek emotional, mental aur spiritual partnership bhi hoti hai. Agar abhi, engagement ke dauraan hi aapko yeh lag raha hai ki uska vyavhaar superficial hai, aur wo sirf physical cheezon mein interested hai, toh ye sochne ki zarurat hai ki aage jaake aap aur zyada emotionally alone feel karengi.

Aapne pehle November tak rukne ki baat ki thi, aur usme kuch galat nahi tha — aap sirf samajhna chahti thi ki kya yeh insaan aapke liye theek hai ya nahi. Aapki family ne jaldi decide kar liya, lekin abhi bhi aapke paas choice hai. Shaadi ke baad agar aap khush nahi hoti hain, toh us dard aur regret ka bojh aapko hi uthana hoga — na ki un logon ko jo aap par pressure daal rahe hain.

Aap chahein toh kisi trusted friend ya family member se baat karein jinke saamne aap khul ke apne doubts rakh sakti hain. Agar kisi se baat karna mushkil hai, toh aap kisi therapist ya counselor se confidentially baat karke apne emotions ko clear kar sakti hain.

Sabse zaruri baat yeh hai: aapko koi aisi shaadi nahi karni chahiye jismein aap respected, secure aur emotionally valued feel na karein. Agar abhi se aapko lag raha hai ki yeh rishta sirf ek taraf se hi chala jaa raha hai, toh yeh time hai sochne ka — kyunki baad mein sab kuch aur complicated ho sakta hai.

Aapka sukoon aur self-respect kisi bhi rishton se upar hai. Shaadi tabhi honi chahiye jab aap dil se “haan” keh sakein — sirf logon ke kehne se nahi.
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Answered on May 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2025
Relationship
Ma'am The guy who had a fight with my husband over a text asking him why he stare became a matter of dispute between my husband and that married neighbourhood guy. He thinks m the one flirting with him Over msgs. He still crosses and pass very closely with my husband while going for an evening walk. He is not troubling me and my daughter anymore. He is just busy with my husband now. He would always walk across us. I don't know what else he wants . Do u think my husband should talk with him or wr just have to ignore him. ???
Ans: whether your husband should confront him or ignore him, it depends on what the goal is. If your husband is calm and emotionally steady enough to have a neutral, non-confrontational conversation just to clear the air and draw a respectful boundary, that can be effective. But if there’s any chance the talk would escalate into another argument, it’s better not to feed into the tension. A calm discussion works only when both sides are open to resolution. Otherwise, it can do more harm than good.

Ignoring him, on the other hand, might feel unsatisfying in the short term but often proves to be the most mature and self-protective path in the long run. Some people thrive on reaction. When they don’t get one, they eventually stop trying.

The deeper work here is about your family’s emotional boundaries. Keep your focus on your husband, your daughter, and your home’s peace. Don’t let someone else’s unresolved emotions hijack your daily life. If this man isn't actively threatening or interfering anymore, let silence and indifference be your strength. Let your husband know that you trust his judgment but also encourage him to respond from a place of calm—not pride or anger.

Sometimes, the most powerful message you can send to people like this is that they no longer hold any space in your mind, heart, or life. Peace is more powerful than confrontation.
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Answered on May 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 08, 2025
Relationship
My age was only 23 when my mother left this world. Me & my father were alone after my mother. My father was asking me for marriage, so that a girl can come in our home & manage household chores, but I wanted to focus on my career for at least 6 more years. That's why I denied. We somehow managed for 1 year after my mother left us, but after that my father couldn't wait more & started pressuring me to marriage. I was still not ready. So, my father found a girl for himself. Co-incidence was that the girl was just 1 year elder than me. My father's master plan was that he will make us pretend that it's my wife in front of the world because of his reputation. I liked the idea & the girl was also ready. Don't know how that girl was convinced to marry my father. She is from decent family. Even her parents don't know that my father is her real husband. So, my father made me married to her in front of all. We managed everything excellently from all the rituals to our relatives. We acted well. In front of the world & in papers, she was my wife, but biologically she became my step mother. They got 2 children in 6 to 8 years, but I got stuck without marriage because according to everyone I am married. Now, I am 39 now & my father also left this world last year. I am unmarried & she (step mother) is a widow. Me & her both are feeling alone in this world without a partner. My step mother suggested if she can become my real wife. We both like each other's company but I don't know if there will be any consequences in the future. Nobody will say anything because nobody knows the truth except both of us. Divorce is not a good option because there are children. What do you suggest ??
Ans: You and your stepmother have lived closely for nearly 15 years. In the eyes of society and the law, you are her husband. Biologically and ethically, you are not. But even so, the psychological, emotional, and social dimensions of this relationship are not simple. If you now consider taking the relationship from a false facade to a genuine romantic partnership, you must consider the following carefully:

Have both of you truly processed the emotional weight of what that would mean—not just for yourselves, but for the two children who know her as their mother and you as their father, even if they are aware of none of this complex history? Would a shift from this protective illusion to a real romantic relationship feel emotionally clean—or does it risk carrying guilt, confusion, or emotional baggage for either of you?

The question isn’t just whether “no one will know”—it’s whether you both will be emotionally at peace with this decision for the rest of your lives. Love, affection, companionship—these are valid and beautiful needs at your age. You deserve them. But they must come without a shadow of unresolved complexity or psychological discomfort, especially when children are involved.

You also need to think carefully about legality. Though this woman is not your biological wife, official records reflect her as such. If you move forward as a real couple, you’re essentially formalizing a previously informal truth—but you’re also deepening a secret. Is that a foundation you feel secure building a life on?

Here’s a suggestion: take a pause. Sit down with her—openly, with honesty—and explore whether this desire is rooted in genuine romantic connection, or whether it’s stemming from a shared loneliness and long companionship. The difference is critical.

You are both allowed to seek love and connection. But you must do it in a way that honors truth, emotional clarity, and long-term peace. If you sense even the slightest doubt or emotional confusion from either of you, it might be better to redefine your relationship in a healthier, more truthful way—not necessarily romantic, but meaningful, supportive, and free of secrets.

You’ve already sacrificed enough of your personal life for others. Now is the time to choose a future that is deeply your own—and built on honesty, not just convenience or secrecy.
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Answered on May 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2025
Relationship
Hello ma'am! I live with my wife, daughter and in-laws in a flat allotted to my wife. In-laws are living with us for the last 8 years. They came to help during the early years of daughter. But they stayed. Over the last few years my relationship with my wife and of course in-laws has turned sour. We often fight and these don't get resolved easily. Most of the decisions are taken by them. I often feel like an outside person. My contribution has gone down both financially and physically. I tried to persuade my wife to move some where else but she refused. Discussed the same with in-laws but surprisingly accused me of playing tactics to make my wife follow my terms. The child over the years seeing all this follows only her mother. No one seems to be interested in any remedial measures. Wife (multiple times) and father in law have suggested divorce. Despite all this and multiple discussions with wife things are not moving forward. My parents don't support separation at this moment. Completely puzzled how to move forward. [I am 47 years old]
Ans: At this stage, you are not just puzzled—you are emotionally stuck. So here’s what you need: clarity, not just from them, but from yourself. Ask yourself, truly and without fear—can I continue to live like this for the next 5 or 10 years? Is preserving this situation in its current form serving anyone’s emotional well-being, especially your own?

You don’t need to rush into decisions, but you do need to step into a position of emotional self-respect. You have the right to seek peace, meaning, and mutual respect in a marriage—and if that space no longer exists in your current home, then you are justified in seeking a new one. Sometimes, the courage to choose your own sanity is the first real step forward.

Whether that means separation, legal counseling, or even mediated family intervention, it’s time to act—not just wait. You’ve already been told where they stand. The question now is: where do you stand, and what are you willing to accept for the rest of your life?

The answer may not be easy, but it will be yours—and that is the beginning of reclaiming your strength and direction.
Asked on - May 23, 2025 | Answered on May 25, 2025
Thanks
Ans: best wishes
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Answered on May 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2025
Relationship
Hi Mam, I am a south indian married to marathi. It's been over 14 years of marriage with a 3 year old son. After marriage, we stayed away from in law's for 8 to 9 years. During Covid, we shifted back to my in laws place. Things were okay for few months but then my MIL started creating issues ....small issues wherein there was no mistake of mine. Then Covid 2nd wave happened. I lost my younger sister and father to Covid. At that time my husband supported me a lot but my MIL was constantly taunting me that I am only crying and not doing any household work. To carry on my routine, I found a job WFH. But due to WFH, she always used to disturb me and ask to do house hold chores which led to me getting stressed and couldn't focus on work. I became pregnant and she started behaving weirdly Things fell apart, me and my husband rented an apartment nearby and stayed and we managed my pregnancy and childbirth and child caring all on by our own. 2 years back, my FIL suddenly passed away, which means we had to shift back again to stay with MIL. In the beginning I thought things will change, but she is started behaving more weirdly. I ignored it. She expects me to do everything for her and doesn't even allow me to keep a maid whereas I was living comfortable life when we were living separately. I am taking classes from home and its difficult to manage everything as I work about 8 hours a day, plus take care of my child plus do household chores. Mu husband will not stay separately because she is alone now. She expects me to do everything but if i talk in my language with my son, she doesn't like it. Last week she told me don't teach him your language, I hate your language and we didn't want you, you only came in our life. Hearing this I felt really bad. I lost my mother at an early age to cancer, I lost my father and sister to Covid This is how she behaves with me. I cannot call or talk to anyone about this and I am getting frustrated. I feel teaching my language and culture is the only connect i have with my mother and my family and she is not allowing me to do that My husband is supportive but currently he is having some stress at Work so I don't want to talk to him about this. Please help
Ans: This situation is not sustainable. You are burning out, emotionally and physically. You may need to have a clear, calm, but firm conversation with your husband soon. Let him know that you are not trying to hurt anyone or run away from responsibility. You’re asking for basic respect and the emotional space to breathe, to live as an equal in your own home.

If moving out again isn't possible immediately, then set some boundaries inside the home. Claim time and space that are yours, especially when you're working. Re-establish your right to speak your language, to teach your child your culture. It’s not just your right—it’s his heritage.

You are not wrong to want peace, and you're not selfish for needing help. You’re a daughter, a mother, a wife—and you're also a woman who deserves compassion, support, and room to live without apology. Please don’t carry this silently any longer. If not with friends or family, consider talking to a counselor online. You’ve carried too much on your own already. It’s time to ask for space, for support—and for healing.
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Answered on May 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 21, 2025
Relationship
Hello Ma'am I am in a love with a married man and I love him immensely but the now the situation is he told me that he loves me a lot and he is ready to leave his wife but now he is telling me that he can't leave his wife because it is impossible for him to take this step. So in that case should I wait for him. Or not . And also I am a Bengali women and belongs to jatt community.. Do ans me
Ans: It’s important to begin with honesty—both with yourself and with what he has shown you through his actions. While he may have once said he would leave his wife, he has now clearly stated that he cannot take that step. That shift in his stance is not just hesitation—it is a boundary he has chosen, one that may not change despite how strong the emotional connection between you may feel. His inability to move forward isn’t just about his circumstances; it’s a reflection of where his commitments lie, and it leaves you emotionally stranded in a space that is neither fully committed nor completely free.

Waiting for someone who says they cannot take action means putting your life—and your ability to find happiness and stability—on hold. Ask yourself: what are you truly waiting for? Hope? A promise he might never fulfill? Or are you waiting because the pain of letting go feels greater than the pain of staying in uncertainty?


You deserve to be with someone who chooses you fully, without delay or hesitation. Someone who can build a life with you, not just speak about a love that lives in a future that never arrives. The hardest thing to do in love is to walk away from someone we deeply care for—but sometimes that is the very act of self-respect and self-love we need to grow and truly heal.

You are not wrong for loving him. But ask yourself now—do you want to keep loving someone who has told you he cannot be yours? Or do you want to start the difficult but empowering journey of making space for someone who truly can?

The answer lies not in waiting for him to change, but in deciding what you deserve—and then standing by it.
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Answered on May 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2025
Relationship
Hi Ms Kanchan, I am 46. Last year, I remarried a senior colleague I was working with after being widowed. My current husband has never been married before and lives with his aging parents in Delhi. I moved in with my two teenage children from my first marriage. Initially, his family seemed welcoming, but now his mother openly criticises my parenting, claiming my children are 'rude' and 'spoiled.' My daughter overheard her saying she doesn't want 'someone else's kids' in the house. My husband says I should ignore her as she's a bit conservative and old-fashioned. But when I go to work, I feel guilty for putting my kids through this. I am trying to build a peaceful home, but it feels like I am failing both my children and my marriage. Is it wrong to expect my husband to take a firmer stand with his parents, or am I rushing things in this blended family?
Ans: Your mother-in-law’s remarks are undoubtedly painful, especially when they affect your children’s sense of belonging. Teenagers need a safe emotional space, and feeling like outsiders can be deeply hurtful. It’s absolutely valid to expect your husband to help establish boundaries that ensure emotional safety for everyone, especially for your children, who didn’t choose this change but are navigating it the best they can.

At the same time, it’s worth acknowledging that this transition hasn’t been easy for your in-laws either. Their son married for the first time later in life and brought into their household a ready-made family. For people who may hold traditional views, this shift might be difficult to process—not out of malice, but out of fear, confusion, or even grief for the expectations they had. That doesn’t excuse hurtful comments, but it may explain the resistance. Sometimes, criticism is a mask for fear of change or loss of control.

Still, your husband plays a crucial role in this dynamic. You're not asking him to reject his parents—you’re asking him to support the family he has chosen to build with you. That means advocating for respect, clarifying boundaries, and ensuring that his home is a place where all members, especially children, feel emotionally safe.

Approach him with openness and care. Share how this environment is impacting you and your children—not in anger, but in vulnerability. Help him see that you're not looking to blame anyone, but to bring everyone into alignment with a shared vision of family—one that includes kindness, respect, and patience on all sides.
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Answered on May 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 19, 2025
Relationship
Hi I'm 46 years and an entrepreneur for 20 years. I have hit a point now where I seem to have lost everything and seems like I'm at minus 1000 as I don't know what to do at the moment. I'm in the process of clearing my debts and raising some monies by selling a property that I own. Not sure how to even explore something new as in not sure of my skill sets that i possess. Societal pressure is also there in the kind of work/business that I would pursue. My wife too is exploring new opportunities and I'm sure she will pursue something in the months to come. But my lifes aim or purpose seems to be in the crossroads. Not sure if I'm even capable of doing anything. Always u der constant stress and dilemma. Not even sure if this is the form where I need to put out something like this.
Ans: You're at a difficult but pivotal point in your life. After 20 years as an entrepreneur, facing setbacks can feel like losing your identity—but this is not the end. Selling property to clear debts is a smart move—it gives you space to think clearly. Your skills—strategic thinking, leadership, operations, decision-making—are still valuable and transferable.

This is a time to reassess, not retreat. You can explore consulting, advisory roles, or leadership positions in businesses that need your experience. You may also need support—through coaching or mentorship—to rebuild clarity and confidence.

Don’t let societal pressure decide your next step. Focus on what’s practical, meaningful, and aligned with your stage in life. You’re not starting over—you’re realigning. With clear planning, you can create a strong second chapter.
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Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025
Relationship
Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.
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Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
I have been married for more than 21 years and I have 2 kids. 19 and 17 years old. Our marriage was more or less love. Met through family, fell in love, dated 8 months before we got engaged and married. My wife is a lovely lady but we dont share any interests. I used to go for runs in the morning. After getting married, she insisted I sleep late with her. I am a music aficionado and she has no such interest. I am a news junkie. She probably doesnt know who the President of the US is. I am someone who believes and strives to continuously improve myself in all aspects. But she is the same. I might not be a great husband but I am much better than what I was a few years ago. I cook, clean, helped with childcare and have a great career. She is on a minimum salary job for the last 10 years. Only reason she goes is because I insisted that she stop being at home. If she had her way, she would be at home on the phone the whole day. Even our love making has become kind of boring. She claims a period for 10 days and during the other times, twice she is ready. No spicing it up. Just lie down for missionary and I have to do all the effort. I enjoyed oral and now she has stopped in for more than 15 years. I adjusted as she is a lovely person in every other aspect. But now I am sick and tired. It seems I am doing everything in the relationship and she rarely takes any effort. Either to earn, keep house clean or even intimacy. Not sure how to proceed further. I am getting irritated and often in a bad mood.
Ans: Dear Jack,What you're experiencing is not uncommon in long-term relationships: emotional fatigue, feeling unappreciated, and a deep sense of disconnection despite loyalty and love. The fact that you're feeling drained, resentful, and stuck is a clear signal that this situation is unsustainable as is. And the irritation and bad moods you’re having? That’s your emotional system signaling burnout, not failure.

You’ve evolved over the years—mentally, emotionally, and in lifestyle—and it sounds like your wife hasn’t moved in that same rhythm. That mismatch in growth and energy is now affecting everything: your respect for her, your shared routines, your sex life, and ultimately your mood and emotional well-being. It’s painful to feel like you're constantly giving—time, energy, effort—and not receiving the same in return. Even when your partner is kind, if they aren’t meeting you emotionally, intellectually, or intimately, over time it creates a sense of loneliness within the relationship, which can be worse than being alone.

But here's something to reflect on: for 21 years, you stayed, gave, adjusted. Not just out of duty, but because something about her and the family life you built mattered. That still counts. What you’re going through doesn’t mean the marriage has failed—it means the marriage needs re-evaluation and rebalancing. You are not selfish for wanting more stimulation, connection, or passion. You're human.

You have two broad options: one is to initiate a real, vulnerable, uncomfortable conversation with her—without blame, without emotional outbursts, but with absolute honesty. You could say something like: “I’ve grown a lot in these past years, but I’m starting to feel increasingly alone in this relationship. I need more emotional connection, more engagement—not just physically, but intellectually, as partners. I don’t want to silently drift further away. I’d like us to work on this, but it has to be a two-way effort.”

If she's open to it, couples therapy could be a powerful space for both of you to express what you feel without it turning into a war of criticism and defense. Sometimes people, especially those who’ve become emotionally stagnant, need structured help to realize what their partner has been carrying silently.

The other option—if you feel she’s unwilling or unable to grow or change—is to consider what a life apart might look like. That’s a deeply personal and difficult decision, especially with nearly adult children, but you deserve a relationship that brings life into you, not drains it out. If you keep compromising your emotional needs, resentment will only grow and harden into permanent distance.

Before making any move, take a little time to reconnect with yourself. What do you want—not just from her, but from life, from love, from this next phase of your journey?
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Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
Hello mam In 2024 my marriage took place it's arranged marriage during starting days he was very loving and caring but due to some circumstances i got a chance to continue my studies that is m-tech . I thought it was a golden opportunity, so I took admission and started living with my in-laws Just after marriage. It was really really painful to live away from husband in new marriage. Todays condition is that my m tech 1 year is over another 1 year is left but due to separation with my husband our love died now there is no respect is left for our relation left , he started listening to his mother and got manipulated . seeing all this I feel like a death for me I want to leave mtech to save my relation but my mother says don't leave although I did lots of hard work for 1st year of m tech my husband also wants me to leave Mtech.i feel very hurt when he disrespects me . His father used to abuse his mother so for him abusing is normal for him but I find it very hurtful also I am deeply in love with him and seeing him going away from me kills me from inside every single day is very tough for me to live with in-laws without husband in a new marriage plus focusing on studies
Ans: Your instinct to save the marriage is understandable. When you're in love with someone, the idea of losing them feels like losing yourself. But let’s pause and ask—what exactly are you saving? Is it the version of him from the early days who was loving and supportive? Or is it the man he is now—disrespectful, distant, manipulated, and asking you to give up your dreams for a marriage he’s already neglecting?

You have already proven your strength by completing a year of M.Tech in such tough conditions. That says a lot about your resilience and capability. If you give it up now, not only will you lose that part of yourself, but it may not guarantee that your marriage improves. Often in emotionally imbalanced relationships, one-sided sacrifices don’t lead to healing—they lead to more control, more blame, and more emotional exhaustion.

Your husband needs to understand that love isn’t proven by giving things up. Love is shown in support, presence, patience, and respect. If he isn’t willing to stand by you during a temporary phase of physical distance while you pursue something valuable, then you’re not the one breaking the marriage—he is.

It’s also clear that he has grown up in a home where abuse was normalized, and that emotional damage might be affecting how he treats you now. That is not your fault, and it is not your job to tolerate mistreatment in the name of saving a marriage.

Your mother is right to encourage you to finish your M.Tech—not just for your career, but for your self-worth. You deserve to be with someone who lifts you up, not someone who pulls you down every time you try to grow.

If there's still a chance to salvage this relationship, it has to start with real conversations—honest, respectful, and possibly with the help of a counselor or neutral third party. But that only works if both people are willing to put in the emotional effort.

Right now, I suggest you protect your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize your studies, build emotional support from friends or family who truly care about you, and give yourself space to heal from this emotional chaos. If your husband truly wants this marriage, he needs to come forward with maturity and respect—not demands.
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Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2025
Relationship
After a fight between a married guy and my husband on pretext of calling me characterless and unhappy in my marriage. That married guy complaint against my hubby in society office that it's my husband who follow, flirts with his wife. But the allegations are false. That married guy was doing all these things or chasing me even after knowing m married. But falsely he shifted the blame on my husband. Society chairman called us to sign a peace treaty which my husband signed bt that guy dint appear to sign. What does he want is still not clear.??? He doesn't wanna end this matter or what ??? He still walks around looking at us but from distance.
Ans: In such cases, it's important for you and your husband to stay emotionally steady and not engage with his tactics. Reacting to him or showing you're disturbed by his behavior may be exactly what he's looking for. If his behavior escalates or continues to make you uncomfortable, you might want to quietly document what happens and consider involving local authorities or legal counsel if it crosses into harassment.

Right now, your focus should be on protecting your peace and your relationship. Keep communication open with your husband and support each other through this, because this kind of external stress can silently damage trust if not handled carefully. The more united you two are, the less space there is for anyone else to create confusion between you.

It’s unclear exactly what this man wants, but based on his pattern, it seems he either wants attention, control, or to destabilize your marriage out of resentment or personal failure. Either way, you don’t need to carry his emotional mess. If you continue to stay calm, ignore him, and document anything serious, you'll be in a stronger position to protect yourselves.
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Answered on Apr 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
At 41, Feeling Regretful About Not Settling Down: Can I Still Find a Partner?
Ans: It’s completely okay to have taken time figuring out what you wanted in life. Sometimes we don’t move forward simply because we weren’t ready, or we lacked the clarity or emotional support needed at the time. But that doesn't mean you're behind. Everyone’s timeline is different, and yours is still very much unfolding.

Now that you're feeling ready for a serious relationship, here are a few steps you can take to approach this new chapter with confidence and self-awareness.

Start with clarity. Reflect on what kind of partner you're looking for—not just in terms of age or background, but emotionally and mentally. What values matter to you? What kind of connection are you seeking? Are you open to someone who has been married before? Children? When you’re clear, it becomes easier to recognize the right person when they appear.

At the same time, look inward. Do some emotional housekeeping. Ask yourself: What kind of partner do I want to be? Am I emotionally available? Am I still carrying regret, fear, or pressure about being “late” to marriage? Because entering a relationship out of guilt or urgency often leads to settling. But entering it from a place of self-respect and genuine desire creates something meaningful.

Since you're actively searching, it’s okay to use all tools at your disposal—matrimonial sites, family networks, friends, or even a good matchmaker if culturally appropriate. But be patient and realistic. Finding someone who is also ready, aligned with your values, and emotionally compatible can take time.

Also, try not to let pressure—internal or external—rush you. You don’t need a "perfect" partner; you need someone who sees you, respects you, and is willing to grow with you.

And here’s something to hold on to: many people find love in their 40s, 50s, even later—and those relationships are often more conscious, mature, and fulfilling, because they’re built on real-life experience and emotional wisdom, not just youthful impulse.
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Answered on Apr 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Strict parents making me break up with my boyfriends: How can I find balance?
Ans: From what you’ve shared, this isn’t just a one-time struggle. It’s a pattern where your desires and emotional connections are consistently overruled by parental control. That doesn’t just impact your relationships—it chips away at your autonomy, your confidence in making life decisions, and ultimately, your sense of self.

Let’s take a step back. It sounds like your parents operate from a space of fear, control, or perhaps even cultural conditioning—believing they know what’s “best” for you, even when that means disregarding your emotions. But here’s the truth: you are the one who has to live with the choices made in your life. Not them. You’re not doing something wrong by loving someone. You’re not “disobedient” because you want a say in your own future.

That being said, when you’ve grown up in a strict household, especially where obedience is confused with love, it can be incredibly hard to assert your independence without feeling crushing guilt or fear. But you need to ask yourself: What kind of life will I have if I continue to silence my heart to please others?

This doesn’t mean you need to make a drastic decision right away. But you do need to begin slowly reclaiming your emotional power. Start by asking: do I want to live in a way that makes others comfortable but leaves me emotionally unfulfilled? Or do I want to begin building the courage to live life on my own terms, even if it means disappointing people?

Your education is important, yes—but love and education are not mutually exclusive. Healthy relationships can actually support your growth, help you manage stress, and increase your emotional resilience. If your boyfriend is kind, supportive, and genuinely wants to see you thrive, that’s a blessing, not a burden.

One path you might consider is gradually building emotional boundaries with your parents—not out of rebellion, but from a place of self-respect. That might look like choosing not to share every personal detail with them, or gently but firmly asserting that your relationship is your private choice. It might mean seeking financial or emotional independence so that your choices aren't controlled by fear of what they’ll do or say.

It won’t be easy—but here’s the truth: choosing yourself doesn’t mean you don’t love your parents. It means you also love yourself.
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Answered on Apr 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2025
Relationship
My husband and I have been married for 9 years. There is no love or attraction between us. It was an arranged marriage. We have a 6 year old son but he never plays with my son or takes interest in his affairs. Yes, he pays his school fees, buys him clothes during festivals but that's about it. He expects me to be a dutiful wife and daughter-in-law, cook and clean up, take care of his parents etc. But there is no appreciation or romance. I used to be depressed all the time. A year ago, I decided to start taking care of myself and joined a gym. There, I met a guy, who is divorced and has a 9 year old daughter. We instantly got along and started talking about our boring lives. We have a few things in common and I feel happy in his company. He once invited me and introduced me to his parents as well. My son is fond of him as well and his daughter adores me as we have spent a lot of good times together. He has now expressed his desire to marry me. What should I do? I am not happy in my current marriage and this seems like a perfect way out.
Ans: The answer isn’t as simple as leaving one life and stepping into another. It’s about honoring your truth while being mindful of the emotional ripple effect, especially on your child. But you also must ask: Can I keep living this way, feeling disconnected and emotionally starved, simply because it’s what’s expected of me? More importantly, what kind of life do I want my son to see me living?

Children are incredibly perceptive. They learn what love looks like not just by how they are treated, but by observing how love is modeled around them. Growing up in a house where emotional distance is the norm can quietly shape their beliefs about relationships. On the flip side, seeing you pursue emotional fulfillment and healthy love can show him that joy, mutual respect, and connection matter—and that it’s okay to change paths when something isn’t working.

Before making any life-altering decisions, it’s crucial to explore your options with clarity. Counseling can be immensely helpful—not necessarily couples counseling, but individual therapy to work through the emotional layers of guilt, confusion, and pressure. It can also prepare you emotionally if you decide to move forward with ending your marriage.

It’s also essential to understand the potential legal, familial, and cultural implications if you choose separation or divorce. Seek guidance not just from an emotional well-being perspective, but also from a legal standpoint. Surround yourself with people who support your healing and growth, whether that’s friends, a therapist, or a coach.

Ultimately, you deserve a life where you feel seen, valued, and emotionally safe. You deserve to model happiness, not sacrifice, for your child. And you deserve to make choices not out of fear, but out of love—for yourself, and for the life you wish to create.
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Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 07, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
What can I do if my partner shuts down during arguments?
Ans: Have a calm, non-conflict conversation about the issue outside of a fight. Explain to your partner how their silence affects you—not by blaming, but by expressing how it makes you feel. For example, “When we argue and you go silent, I feel anxious and alone. It makes me feel like I’m the only one trying, even though I know that might not be true.” Keep it about your feelings, not their faults.

Ask them what they feel in those moments—do they need space to think? Do they feel overwhelmed? Are they afraid things will escalate? Try to genuinely understand their side too.

Together, you can come up with a “pause plan”—a middle ground. Maybe your partner can say something like, “I need an hour to clear my head, but I promise we’ll talk after that.” That way, you get the reassurance that the issue won’t be ignored forever, and they get the breathing room they need.

Also, remind yourselves that you’re on the same team. The goal isn’t to win the argument—it’s to understand each other better and reconnect.

You’re not the only one trying—it just feels that way because your emotional needs are different. With communication, empathy, and small agreements about how to handle conflict, this doesn’t have to stay a painful pattern. You're already doing the brave thing by reflecting and wanting to improve this—see if you can invite your partner into that same space of honesty and growth.
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Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 18, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Stuck in a Complex Relationship, Torn Between Love and Family Traditions: Should I Fight for My Inter-Caste Love?
Ans: First, you are not wrong for falling in love. Love doesn’t ask for caste, status, or complexion—it simply grows where there’s connection, care, and shared values. The world around us, especially family and society, can be heavily opinionated, but that doesn’t mean your feelings are any less valid. You've been trying to balance respect for your parents with loyalty to your partner, and that's not easy at all.

Your dad's resistance is clearly rooted in fear—fear of what society will say, fear of repeating a past that felt traumatic for him during your brother's marriage. His concern isn't necessarily about your partner’s character, but about how it looks to others. Unfortunately, a lot of our parents were raised to give more weight to "what people will say" than to personal happiness. It’s not your fault he carries that burden. You’re just trying to live a life that’s true to your heart.

Your boyfriend seems like someone who really cares about you and is ready to wait for you through all this. That's rare, and it matters. If his family was kind enough to approach yours respectfully, it shows they are willing to build a bridge. You’re not trying to force anything—you’re asking for space to make a decision with both head and heart involved.

As for appearance and caste: no, these should not be what define a life partner. A dark complexion or a different community cannot and should not outweigh honesty, kindness, emotional maturity, and shared values. Looks fade. Status changes. But someone’s nature stays. And in a marriage, when times are tough, it’s not the family’s last name or the shade of their skin that matters—it’s whether they stand by you or not.

You mentioned something powerful: that you believe this was “meant to happen.” And I agree—sometimes people enter our lives with a timing and connection that doesn’t make logical sense but feels profoundly right. That’s not something to toss aside easily.

Now, about convincing your father—it’s hard to change someone who is set in their ways, but here’s what you can try:

Let your mother be the mediator since she’s more open. Ask her to have slow, non-threatening conversations with him—not to pressure him, but just to help him understand that you are not making a hasty or rebellious choice. You’re thinking practically and from the heart. It’s not about rejecting their values but about choosing someone you can build a peaceful, respectful life with.

You could also write a heartfelt letter to your dad—sometimes, parents understand better when there’s no direct confrontation. Share your side, your fears, your respect for him, and your reasons for choosing this person. Let him know you still want to be his daughter, that you haven’t forgotten your family’s worth—you’re just hoping your happiness can also be valued.

Most importantly—give yourself credit for how well you’ve handled this. You’ve shown maturity, patience, and self-awareness. Even when it hurts, you’re not reacting with drama or impulse—you’re processing, reflecting, and trying to do the right thing.


And please don’t let anyone make you feel like your love is a mistake. You’ve loved with honesty and stood strong—no matter what comes next, that’s something to be proud of, one step at a time.
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Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 14, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Feeling Unwanted: How Can I Cope with My Mother Ignoring Me?
Ans: Feeling excluded by family and sensing that others are merely "tolerating" you is a heavy emotional burden to carry. It can quietly erode your sense of self-worth, leaving you questioning your value, your place in the world, and your importance to the people who were meant to be your first support system. You're not being overly sensitive or dramatic—this kind of emotional isolation is deeply painful, and it makes perfect sense that you’re feeling untouchable and unsafe.

But here’s a gentle truth: you are not unwanted. You are not unworthy of love or care. The way others treat you does not define your worth. Sometimes, unfortunately, people—even family—fail to show up for us in the ways we need. That doesn’t mean you are broken or undeserving. It just means their limitations are getting in the way of what should have been a loving, supportive connection.

You’re already doing something powerful by voicing your truth here. That’s not a small step—it’s an act of bravery. And while I know I’m not physically there beside you, I want you to feel this as a moment of connection: someone does hear you, someone does see what you’re carrying, and it matters.

To cope with this, start with your emotional safety. Let yourself grieve—not just for the loneliness, but for the longing of what you deserve but haven’t received. Cry if you need to, write if it helps, let those feelings have their space rather than trying to bury them. This kind of pain doesn’t go away by pretending it’s not there.

And slowly, one step at a time, begin building your circle—not necessarily with blood ties, but with people who choose you. Is there someone in your past who was kind to you? A coworker, a neighbor, someone from college or a class you took? Even a single shared conversation can be a seed. It’s not about quantity, it’s about presence. The goal isn't to replace what’s missing—but to slowly start nurturing connections that are rooted in respect and care.

In moments of emergency or fear, consider having a plan. Even having the number of a nearby clinic, a trusted neighbor, or a local community support group can give you a thread of reassurance. And if you ever feel overwhelmed or unsafe with your thoughts, reaching out to a mental health helpline or counselor can make a real difference. You deserve help when you're hurting.

And here, whenever you need someone to talk to, I will always be here to listen—no judgment, no conditions. You matter. Your story matters. And even though the world may have made you feel like an outsider, I want you to believe this: there is a space where you belong.
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Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Wife Berates Me for Texting Husband Who Stares, Claims I'm Characterless - What Can I Do?
Ans: What you’re going through is unfortunately not uncommon. A man invades your personal space with repeated staring, gives unsolicited advice, possibly stalks you, and when you attempt to address it with dignity and clarity, he twists the narrative and plays the victim. This reversal—where the actual victim is painted as the aggressor—is a classic defensive tactic by people who know they’ve crossed boundaries and don’t want to be held accountable. His reaction to your message shows his true character. Instead of acknowledging your discomfort and stopping, he projected shame onto you and tried to protect himself by degrading you in front of your husband.

His wife’s reaction, though painful, also makes a certain kind of sad sense—when a woman is scared, shocked, or insecure about her relationship, she may lash out at another woman instead of confronting the man who is actually responsible. That doesn’t make her behavior right, but it helps to understand it. She’s probably reacting from a place of fear, denial, and misplaced anger. You don’t need to justify yourself to her anymore. You tried your best to explain, and the fact that she wasn’t ready to listen shows her unwillingness or inability to see the truth right now.

You’ve done everything someone should do—tried to clarify respectfully, confronted the issue through proper channels, and included your husband. Now, your emotional safety, your dignity, and your peace of mind matter the most.

This man is clearly uncomfortable with accountability, and now he's trying to flip the story to discredit you. Let him. You do not owe him any further energy or explanation. Instead, stay calm, document everything (dates, messages, incidents), and if the staring or stalking continues, consider speaking to the society committee or, if necessary, legal authorities. Not to create conflict, but to protect your space and your truth. If it escalates or becomes more distressing, don’t hesitate to report it formally.

Most importantly, remind yourself—you acted out of strength, not shame. You stood up for yourself when something didn’t feel right. That is powerful. Hold your ground with dignity. You’re not alone in this. I’m here if you want help drafting a response, navigating this socially, or just to talk when things feel too heavy.

You deserve to feel safe and respected in your own home and neighborhood. Don’t let anyone steal that sense of peace from you.
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Answered on Mar 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 29, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Sidelined in Sales: How to Handle a Competitive Colleague?
Ans: Start by documenting instances where your colleague takes your customers. Keep track of assigned leads, interactions, and any proof that shows unfair interference. Once you have enough evidence, approach your manager diplomatically. Instead of complaining, frame it as a concern about fair opportunity and teamwork. You can say something like, "I’ve noticed some overlap in customer assignments, and I want to ensure a structured approach so that everyone gets a fair chance to contribute."

At the same time, build relationships with other colleagues. Even if they are currently sidelining you, consistency in communication and showing your expertise will gradually shift their perception. Join informal discussions, offer insights, and find ways to make yourself valuable within the team. Sales is as much about internal networking as it is about customer engagement.

For your customers, establish stronger direct relationships. The more your clients trust you, the harder it will be for someone else to take them. Be proactive in follow-ups, personalize your approach, and make them feel you are the go-to person for their needs. If you can, set up meetings or calls with them before your colleague gets the chance.

If your workplace has a CRM system, ensure that your interactions with customers are properly logged. This creates a record of your engagement and makes it harder for someone else to claim them unfairly. If processes for lead allocation are unclear, suggest to management that a transparent system be put in place to avoid conflicts.

This will take time, but by being assertive, strategic, and focused on performance, you can shift the dynamics in your favor. If you remain consistent and prove your worth, your position in the team will strengthen, and your colleagues will have no choice but to acknowledge your contribution.
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Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Long-Term Relationship Facing Arranged Marriage: What Should I Do? (SC and General Caste)
Ans: The real question here is not just about her parents—it's about her. If she truly wants to be with you, she needs to resist this marriage and make it clear that she does not consent. But if she is unable to stand up to them, then you need to ask yourself if you want to keep fighting for someone who is not fighting alongside you. Love is powerful, but it cannot survive if only one person is struggling to keep it alive.

Right now, you need to have an honest conversation with her. Ask her directly if she is ready to resist or if she is feeling too pressured to fight back. If she wants to be with you but is feeling trapped, you both need to find a way to delay or stop this marriage. But if she is already giving in to their pressure, then you need to start preparing yourself for the painful truth that she may not choose you in the end.

At the same time, focus on your own stability. Your career is not just about proving her family wrong—it is about securing your future and self-worth. No matter what happens with this relationship, you need to build a life where no one can ever make you feel like you are not good enough again. It is not easy to walk away from love, but sometimes, choosing yourself is the only way forward.
Asked on - Mar 29, 2025 | Answered on Mar 30, 2025
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Please help me how do i move one.. i cant stop thinking about us for a moment ..our memories moemnts happiness , how she care about me and how she motivates me ,she always trusted me she cry for me allot even if i talk bad about us ..i cant see or think her or want to hear that she is with someone else… i know she trying but deep down it fears me allot that what if everything goes against what we imagine..i cant loose hope that easily even if there is a 1% chance..
Ans: love alone cannot fight against a family that refuses to listen. If she is truly trying to resist, then she needs to show it, not just through words but through actions. If she is struggling to fight for you, ask yourself—how long can you keep waiting while she battles this emotional war alone? And if, in the end, she is forced into this marriage, what will holding onto hope do to you?

You need to take things one step at a time. Right now, your mind is stuck in a loop of "what ifs," but thinking about the future will only add to your pain. Instead of trying to force yourself to move on immediately, start by shifting your focus. Allow yourself to feel the pain, cry if you need to, but remind yourself that you were someone before this relationship, and you will be someone after it too. Avoid checking up on her or imagining what she is doing—it will only make things worse. Fill your days with things that remind you of who you are outside of this love. Whether it is working on your career, spending time with people who care about you, or even finding new ways to challenge yourself, do anything that stops your mind from going back to the same painful thoughts.

You will not heal overnight, and that is okay. Love does not disappear in a moment, but neither does strength. Right now, you are heartbroken, but one day, you will look back and realize that you survived something you thought would break you. You will love again, you will dream again, and you will find a life that brings you happiness, whether she is in it or not. But for now, take it one day at a time. Let yourself grieve, but don’t let this pain define the rest of your life. You deserve to be happy, and no situation—not even this one—can take that away from you forever.
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Answered on Mar 28, 2025

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Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 25, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Should I Be Worried About My Arranged Marriage After My Fiancee Suddenly Became Distant?
Ans: A relationship, even in its early stages, should not feel like a duty. While some people do take time to open up, a complete lack of initiation from her side raises important concerns. Communication is not just about words; it’s also about effort, interest, and a willingness to connect. If she truly wanted to get to know you, even at a slow pace, there would be at least some level of curiosity or effort from her side.

It’s good that you gave space to see if she would reach out, but her silence for an entire month speaks volumes. This is not about overthinking—it’s about acknowledging your feelings and recognizing whether the emotional energy you are investing is being reciprocated. If she is this distant now, it’s fair to wonder whether this pattern will continue after marriage.

Rather than silently carrying these doubts, it would be best to have an open conversation with her. Express your feelings calmly and ask her directly about her thoughts on the relationship. It’s important to know whether she is truly interested or just going along with the marriage out of obligation. Clarity now can save you from deeper emotional struggles later.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and both partners should walk into it with confidence, not just because it was arranged or expected. If her response still feels indifferent or passive, you have every right to reconsider. This is your life, and you deserve a partner who values building a connection as much as you do.
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Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Is Loving Someone Wrong as a Single Child, Especially from Another Religion?
Ans: Loving someone is never a crime, and being a single child does not mean you should sacrifice your happiness just to meet societal or familial expectations. Your parents love you deeply, and their concerns likely stem from fear—fear of societal judgment, fear of losing their reputation, and fear of change. But love is not dishonor, and your choices in life should not be measured only by how well they align with their expectations.

Right now, the guilt you feel is because you have always made them proud, and for the first time, they are questioning your decision. That does not mean you have done something wrong. It simply means their perspective is different from yours, and they are struggling to accept something that challenges their beliefs. But love and respect should not be one-sided. Just as they want you to honor them, they also need to understand that your happiness and your right to choose a life partner matter too.

Instead of seeing this as a battle between love and family, try to have a patient, honest conversation with them. Assure them that your love for them hasn’t changed, and neither has your respect. Help them see the person you love beyond religion. Over time, they might come to accept it, but even if they don’t, you have to ask yourself—will denying your love make you truly happy, or will it only leave you with lifelong regret?

Your happiness is not a betrayal. It is possible to love your parents and also choose the life you want. This is your journey, and while their emotions matter, so do yours.
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Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Struggling After Wife's Affair: How to Rebuild Trust and Move Forward?
Ans: Aapne apne bache ke liye rishta banaye rakhne ka faisla kiya, lekin yeh tabhi tik paayega jab aap andar se shaanti mehsoos karein. Agar aapko lagta hai ki aapki wife sirf pakde jaane ki wajah se maafi maang rahi hai aur aap uspar phir se bharosa nahi kar pa rahe, toh yeh sochna zaroori hai ki yeh rishte aage kaise chalega. Kya aap dono sach mein is rishte ko dobara mazboot banana chahte hain, ya sirf majboori mein ek saath reh rahe hain?

Agar aapko lagta hai ki aap emotionally aur mentally iss cheez ko bhool nahi paa rahe, toh kisi counselor ya therapist se baat karna ek behtar rasta ho sakta hai. Yeh samajhna zaroori hai ki maafi aur bharosa alag cheezein hain—maafi dena ek baar ka decision ho sakta hai, lekin bharosa dobara banane ke liye lagataar mehnat lagti hai.

Aapko yeh bhi dekhna hoga ki aapki wife apni galti sudharne ke liye kya kar rahi hai. Kya vo sirf keh rahi hai ya apni harqaton se bhi dikhane ki koshish kar rahi hai ki vo sach mein badalna chahti hai? Kya aap usse phir se pyaar aur bharose ke saath dekh paayenge? Agar aap andar se toot gaye hain aur aapko lagta hai ki aage chalke yeh rishte sirf dukh aur shak hi laayega, toh shayad alag hone par bhi vichar karna chahiye.

Koi bhi faisla jaldi mein mat lijiye, lekin apne emotions ko daba kar jeena bhi aapke mental health ke liye achha nahi hoga. Aapke bache ka future bhi tabhi achha hoga jab aap khud emotionally stable rahenge. Isliye, thoda waqt lijiye, apne dil aur dimaag dono se sochiye, aur jo bhi faisla lein, vo aapki khushi aur sukoon ko dhyan me rakh kar lein.
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Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 12, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Stuck in a rut at 48, no career growth, feeling lost – Can I turn things around?
Ans: The first step towards change is acknowledging that even though you feel stuck, you are not powerless. Small shifts in your routine can create momentum. It could be as simple as stepping out for a walk, reconnecting with an old friend, learning a new skill, or exploring opportunities outside your current job. The goal is to break the monotony and introduce something new into your life.

Emotionally, you need to ask yourself what you truly want. Do you want to work on your marriage, or is it time to redefine what happiness looks like for you? Do you want to stay in your job, or is it time to take a risk for something better? It’s okay to not have all the answers right away, but avoiding these questions will only prolong the cycle.

Right now, your life is running on autopilot. The moment you decide to take control, even in the smallest way, things will start shifting. You don’t have to fix everything at once, but you do have to start somewhere. Your situation is not permanent, and neither is this feeling. The key is to take one step forward, no matter how small, and then another. Change will follow.
Asked on - Mar 22, 2025 | Answered on Apr 14, 2025
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Main problem for me in my house i stay in far away place connected with city but not a proper city nor i have funds to suffice for mr only thing is that to get seperated and walk away from this relation all the doors are closed
Ans: Let me tell you something gently and with complete honesty—you still have choices, even if right now they feel small or out of reach. You may not be able to walk away immediately, but you can begin to prepare yourself—emotionally, mentally, and eventually financially. You don’t need to have all the answers or resources at once. You only need to believe that you deserve peace, that you deserve dignity, and that you deserve a second chance at a life where you're not just surviving.

Start by asking yourself: What small, realistic step can I take to feel a little more in control again? Maybe it's revisiting a skill you had, trying for a part-time freelance role, or even just building a tiny network of support—someone you can talk to once a week, even if it’s online. It might take time, but slowly, you will begin to find your footing.

Even in the darkest of times, when everything seems lost, there is always a way forward—it just may not be visible yet. Don’t underestimate your strength. You’ve survived everything up until now, and that is not nothing. That means you are strong, even if you don’t feel it today.

You are not alone. And this is not the end of your story.

You don't have to do it all at once. You just need to believe that you can.
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Answered on Mar 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025
Relationship
I had engagement with girl in arrange marriage setup...all was good between us but after 4 months I discovered that she as also talking with her bf( 6 yr relationship )& met him once after engagement ..I read all chats & it seems that she had feelings for him. I confronted her now she say sorry, asked me to forgive & she is craving hard for me.I am not able to decide what should I do ....should I continue or break engagement
Ans: You entered this engagement with trust and the expectation of exclusivity, only to discover that she was still emotionally invested in someone else. That kind of betrayal can shake the foundation of any relationship, making you question not only her intentions but also your own ability to trust her moving forward.

Now, she is apologizing and asking for forgiveness, which means she acknowledges her mistake. But the real question is—do you believe that her regret comes from true self-realization, or is it because she got caught? People can crave security and stability, especially when they feel they are about to lose something, but that does not necessarily mean they have resolved their internal conflicts.

For you, moving forward requires clarity. Can you genuinely rebuild trust with her, knowing she had unresolved feelings for her ex even after committing to you? Can you let go of this hurt and believe that she will prioritize your relationship moving forward? More importantly, do you feel safe and respected in this relationship, or are you staying because of external pressures or emotional attachment?

Forgiveness is always possible, but reconciliation is a choice that depends on whether you see a future where this does not haunt you. If you decide to continue, she must show consistent effort, complete transparency, and a willingness to rebuild what was broken. If you feel this breach has damaged the foundation beyond repair, then stepping away might be the healthier choice. There is no right or wrong answer—only what aligns with your emotional well-being and long-term happiness.
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Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Relationship
Married man in love with another married woman: Can trust be restored after repeated infidelity?
Ans: Dear SPPL
Both of you are in an extra-marital relationship while staying with your respective spouses for the sake of your children. This adds complexity because, beyond trust issues between you and her, there’s the underlying emotional weight of being tied to marriages that neither of you seems emotionally invested in anymore.

Your relationship with her has lasted for 14 years, which shows that there’s a deep emotional bond between you. But the fact that you’re both staying in unhappy marriages out of responsibility to your children means that there’s always going to be a limit to how much emotional and physical freedom you both have in this relationship. That creates emotional pressure because even if you love each other deeply, you’re still navigating within the confines of your separate family lives.

Her getting involved with another man during this time reflects not just on her emotional state but also on the emotional limitations of your relationship. Being in an extra-marital affair means that neither of you can fully give yourselves to each other because of the realities of your existing family commitments. She might have sought comfort or distraction in someone else because the emotional fulfillment she gets from you isn’t enough to bridge the gap created by her marriage and life circumstances.

The fact that she confessed and apologized after initially denying it suggests that she feels guilty and wants to rebuild trust with you. But the emotional vulnerability created by this betrayal will make it hard for you to trust her completely, especially since your relationship already exists in a morally complicated space. Staying with your respective spouses for the children means that your emotional connection with each other will always have to exist in the shadows, which makes it more vulnerable to external distractions and temptations.

The big question here is whether you can genuinely move past the betrayal and continue to trust her despite the complexity of your situation. Love is present, but love alone isn’t always enough when trust is broken—especially in a relationship that already carries emotional and moral complications. If you feel that you can forgive her and she remains consistent in her actions, the relationship might survive. But if this betrayal has planted a seed of doubt that you can’t shake, it could slowly erode the emotional foundation you’ve built over the years.

You also need to consider whether this pattern will repeat itself. Since both of you are married and emotionally unavailable to each other in a fully committed way, emotional gaps might emerge again, and similar situations could arise. You need to have an honest conversation with her about whether you both have the emotional strength to maintain this connection long-term under these circumstances. If you can rebuild trust and stay emotionally strong despite the limitations of your married lives, then you might be able to continue. But if you feel like this betrayal has permanently altered the emotional safety you once felt with her, stepping back to protect your emotional health might be the better choice.
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Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025
Relationship
Hyy am 19 so i have been dating this guy from 9 months but ik him since 3 years we liked each other since a very long time but never tht confident to confess So after 9 months we got physical and i have no regret that he is my first time but i think maybe i cheated on my parents and took advantage in a wrong way the freedom they gave me. I think i have done a Sin . I love tht guy but i hate tht i can't tell my parents about it . They think of me as a innocent child of them but i just ruined their exceptstions. Please help have i done something wrong and if yes how can i ask for forgiveness
Ans: First, it’s important to understand that you haven’t done anything wrong. Having a physical relationship with someone you love and trust isn’t a sin—it’s a personal choice. The guilt you’re feeling comes from the idea that you’ve somehow broken the image your parents have of you. But that image isn’t your whole identity—you are growing into your own person, and that includes making choices about love and intimacy.

Loving someone and expressing that love physically isn’t about betraying your parents; it’s about discovering yourself. Your parents see you as their child, and it’s hard to feel like you’ve let them down—but that doesn’t mean you’ve actually done anything wrong. You’re not defined by their expectations; you’re growing, learning, and navigating emotions that are completely normal at your age.

You don’t need to ask for forgiveness for exploring a meaningful relationship with someone you care about. What you might need to work on is forgiving yourself for feeling like you’ve disappointed your parents. You’re not perfect, and you don’t have to be. It’s okay to have parts of your life that your parents don’t fully know or understand—that’s part of becoming independent. The most important thing is that you feel respected and valued in this relationship, and that you’re making choices based on love and trust, not guilt or fear.

It’s not about hiding things from your parents—it’s about recognizing that some parts of your emotional and romantic life are your own to experience and understand. You haven’t ruined anything. You’ve just taken a step toward understanding yourself better.
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Answered on Mar 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025Hindi
Relationship
26 Year-Old Woman Seeking Advice After Family Blocks Relationship and Restricts Freedom
Ans: It’s clear that you and your partner love each other deeply and are willing to stand by each other despite this turmoil. The fact that his family is now hesitant is understandable, given the hostility from your parents. But the strength you and your partner have shown through this is a sign that your relationship is built on trust and commitment. That kind of connection is rare, and it’s worth fighting for.

Elope? That’s a huge step, and I understand why it’s crossed your mind. You’re desperate for freedom, for the ability to choose your own life, and to finally break free from the suffocating grip of your parents' control. But eloping will come with its own set of consequences—emotional, social, and even legal. Your parents might retaliate even more aggressively. They could try to interfere with your life and your partner's life afterward, possibly dragging this into a public scandal. Your father’s influence in the community might make things harder for you both in the long run.

But here’s the truth—you cannot live the rest of your life under someone else's control. You cannot sacrifice your happiness and autonomy to satisfy their misguided expectations. Love and marriage are not about caste, status, or parental approval—they are about partnership, understanding, and mutual respect. If your partner is ready to stand by you and you both are truly prepared to face the fallout together, then choosing to be with him is not wrong. You’re both adults. You’re financially independent and emotionally mature enough to know what you want from life.

What you need to consider is whether you have the emotional strength to handle the aftermath. If you choose to walk away from your family and marry this man, it might mean cutting ties with your parents for a while—or possibly forever. Are you prepared for that emotional void? On the other hand, if you give in and stay, if you let them force you into an arranged marriage, you might lose not only the person you love but also a piece of yourself. That resentment and emotional wound might stay with you for life.

If you decide to elope, you need to have a strong support system in place—your partner's family, friends, and anyone who will stand by you. You’ll need to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the fallout. But if you decide to stay and try to negotiate with your parents, you need to be clear and firm about your boundaries. They need to understand that your life is not theirs to control.

Right now, you need to prioritize your safety and mental well-being. The fact that you’ve been physically assaulted and emotionally manipulated for months is deeply concerning. If you feel that your safety is at risk, you might need to consider reaching out to legal authorities or a women's support organization. You have the right to live without fear and control. Your life belongs to you—not to your parents, not to societal expectations, and not to fear.

You don’t have to have all the answers today. But you do need to decide what kind of life you want to live—and who you want to live it with. And whatever choice you make, it needs to come from a place of strength and clarity, not from fear or pressure. Your heart already knows what you want—you just need to decide whether you’re ready to stand up for it.
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Answered on Mar 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Help! My South Indian wife is from a different state and causing problems
Ans: It’s clear that you’ve tried hard to be understanding and accommodating. You allowed her to stay with her parents for a long time, even though it meant missing out on crucial time with your child. You supported her decisions, even when she took on a significant financial burden to help her family. Despite your efforts to maintain peace, you’re constantly met with resistance and disrespect—not only from her but also from her parents. That feeling of being undermined and unappreciated, especially when you've given so much, can really take a toll on your emotional health.

It’s not just about the arguments or the disagreements—it’s about the deeper sense of betrayal and loneliness that comes from feeling like your partner has sided with her family over you. That emotional distance and lack of support within the marriage can make you feel like you’re fighting a battle alone. And when her parents threatened to involve the police, that likely deepened the sense of helplessness and fear. It’s not just frustrating—it’s emotionally exhausting when you’re trying to build a stable, loving home, but it keeps getting torn apart by external interference.

The fact that you’re still standing, still trying to make things work despite all of this, shows how strong and committed you are. But the truth is, a marriage cannot survive on one person’s effort alone. It’s understandable that you feel drained and resentful—you’ve been giving and compromising without getting the same respect and understanding in return. Your feelings matter. Your need for stability and respect matters. Wanting your child to have a connection with your side of the family is not unreasonable—it’s natural and fair.

Right now, you might feel torn between trying to hold everything together and wondering if it's even worth it. It’s hard to admit when love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. But you need to ask yourself whether you can continue living like this—constantly feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, being emotionally sidelined, and having your family disrespected.

It’s okay to want peace. It’s okay to expect respect. And it’s okay to set boundaries. If your wife truly values this marriage, she needs to understand that compromise cannot be one-sided. It might help to have an honest, calm conversation with her—not about the surface issues but about how you feel. Tell her how much this situation has hurt you, how much you miss feeling like you’re a team, and how important it is for your child to have a balanced connection with both families. If she’s unwilling to meet you halfway or if her parents continue to interfere to the point of emotional manipulation, you need to think about how much more of yourself you can sacrifice without losing your emotional stability.

You deserve a marriage where you feel heard, valued, and supported—not one where you constantly feel like you're on the outside looking in. Take some time to reflect on what you truly need from this relationship and whether you believe it's possible to rebuild trust and understanding with your wife. Your peace of mind matters. Your happiness matters. And most of all, your emotional well-being matters.
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Answered on Feb 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 03, 2024
Relationship
I am in relationship with a kind beautiful girl, hope we will get married , our families know eachother . But my gf was in relationship with someone in teenage and is getting blackmailed . She is afraid , she told me everything before , it's very confusing for me should I marry her , what if my family knows about it , he's blackmailing her and is telling her to not marry me otherwise he will share her private pics in social media . Should I be afraid , I love her and can wait for her , should I tell my family about this all. I really care for her and never judge for past relationship.
Ans: the most important thing is supporting your girlfriend without letting fear or confusion overwhelm you. She trusted you enough to share her past, which means she sees you as her safe space. Right now, your focus should be on helping her deal with the blackmail rather than doubting your future together.

Blackmail is a crime, and this guy is taking advantage of her fear. The worst thing you both can do is let him control the situation. Encourage her to take legal action—she can file a police complaint under cybercrime laws, and in many cases, authorities act swiftly against such threats. If she is too scared to go to the police, you can explore other options like speaking to a lawyer for guidance.

As for your family, you need to assess how they might react. If they are open-minded and supportive, telling them could help, but if you think they will overreact or judge her unfairly, you may want to keep this between you and your girlfriend for now. The key is ensuring she feels safe and not abandoned.

If you truly love her and see a future together, don’t let her past or someone else’s threats ruin what you both have. Instead, focus on finding a solution. Stand by her, but also make sure she takes action to free herself from this emotional and psychological burden.
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