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Kanchan Rai |444 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi I am 45 years of age having two childrens and I am also working.My husband is good with me but not with my parents and sister most of the time he abuses them without any reason .This make me upset and many time I discuss this matter with him but he doesn't realise his mistake. I told him to meet councellor but he is not ready . And often he take drink and without any reason abuses any one around him Many time situation becomes out of control and I want to end my relationship. Kindly guide me

Ans: First and foremost, your feelings are entirely valid. It’s deeply troubling when someone you love and live with is disrespectful and abusive towards your family members and those around him, especially when he drinks. Your husband’s behavior, despite your efforts to communicate and suggest counseling, is not only affecting you but also creating a toxic environment for your children.

It’s crucial to prioritize your own mental and emotional health. Living in an environment where abuse and excessive drinking are present can have long-term negative effects on both you and your children. This kind of stress and emotional turmoil can erode your sense of self and well-being over time.

Since your husband has refused counseling and doesn't acknowledge his mistakes, it may be necessary to consider stronger steps. Think about what you want for your future and what kind of environment you want for your children. Reflect on whether staying in this relationship is conducive to that vision.

If you’re contemplating ending the relationship, it’s important to have a clear plan. Seek support from trusted friends or family members, and consider speaking with a professional counselor or therapist to help you navigate your feelings and plan your next steps. Legal advice might also be necessary to understand your rights and ensure you and your children are protected.

Take time to consider what is best for you and your children in the long term. Your well-being and safety are paramount, and sometimes the healthiest choice is to remove yourself from a harmful environment. By doing so, you’re not only taking care of yourself but also setting a positive example for your children about self-respect and the importance of a healthy, loving home.

RelationshipReply

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu Krishna |1403 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2022

Question by S - Jul 04, 2022Hindi

Relationship

Dear mam, I am a working woman married for 14 years with two kids. Ours was a love marriage. But immediately after my marriage I noticed that my husband was over aggressive and very possessive. He wants me to be under his control all the time. Whenever I say something against his will he starts abusing me and family. He has suicidal tendencies and has attempted in the past also. When his anger gets controlled he starts conversation with a sorry. This situation will continue for a few days and after that he will start again. This has been my life for the past 14 years. Sometimes he does manhandle and indulges in forced sex. I am fed up with this nature of his. Please suggest what I can do.

Dear S,

It’s time someone showed the man what a MAN truly is.

Do you have a close family member who can talk to him?

If NO, this is your husband. No one knows him better that you do…

Notice:

What actually triggers him to become aggressive and possessive?
What situations have led him to attempting suicide?

If there is a mental illness that we are looking at, it needs intervention ASAP.

Never be afraid to push back when you are forced into sex…It is called ‘Marital Rape’ just in case you didn’t know.

It’s not Okay and it is definitely not mandatory that a woman needs to give in to satisfy her husband’s sexual urges.

If he continues forced sex, you can approach a local NGO that supports women with domestic violence, and they can help you with the next course of action.

Do not feel obliged to put up with things that eat your soul away.

Make sure you keep your sanity intact by surrounding yourself with the best people who care and love you.

Pick up a hobby that fills you with joy; this joy can help you think with a clear mind when you step into your marriage for the day.

One step at a time, but take that STEP…You are important.

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1403 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 27, 2023

Question by Pari - Jan 26, 2023Hindi

Mam, I am married for 13 yrs and it was a love marriage. We have 2 kids. My husband is less supportive. I look after my kids, my work, home without help from him. Even when I work he does not bother to make tea or help with cooking. He would get angry and abuse physically for intimacy. For last few years he started drinking a lot and indulge in fight outside. He had 2 police cases against him. I came close to someone. I told my husband I want to separate, but instead he became abusive. I don't love him. I feel I am his sex slave just fulfilling his desire, if I won't do that he will quarrel, stop eating and harass me mentally. What should I do?

Ans: Dear P,
If a dear friend had come to you with the same problem, what would you have suggested to her?
Would you have asked her to continue with a person who's being inconsiderate?
Would you have not suggested to her that she might need to go into couples therapy?
Certainly, status quo isn't something that you would have advised her to be in especially when she's with someone who has had two police cases against him!
You are dealing with a person who has had a massive change in behavior. Did you not see these red flags earlier? No point digging the past...
Thers is no need to submit to his tantrums and give into sex. He's using it to 'tame' you and make you meek.
Seek the help of someone strong within the family to talk to him...
Move out for a few days/weeks to gain your confidence back...if this is not possible, sleep in a separate room...if he pesters you for sex, look him firmly in the eye and say NO...
Have a dear friend/family member on speed dial...
The welfare of your children's is dependent on you; so to safeguard them, you need to care about yourself first!
You are not meek, do what you would have advised your friend.
All the best!

.

Love Guru |204 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hello sir, I am 52 years handicapped with a good govt. job. I have been married for 27 years now. My son also married recently and he is in USA. I dont know where to start. Mine was arranged marriage. But my husband and his family cheated us regarding his job. He was jobless after our marriage. I had a son in the first year of our marriage. I stayed with him for only 2 months then I was send to my fathers house for delivery. He never visited me during this time nor he had called me. As he was jobless, I tried hard to build my carrier for sake of my son. I had managed all these years financially. I never received any financial support or emotional support from him past 27 years. We had fought badly accusing each. He will physically abuse me every time. He is addicted to alcohol and watching prone movies. My son once saw his mssg to call girls and other such women in his mobile. I was shocked too. Later I discovered he had many such connections. He had been spending his merger salary for all this self enjoyment and never shared anything for HL or son education. However, I had stayed with him for social security and status. Now I have completed all my duties. My son is safe and far from him. Even after my sons marriage, he behaved violently after consuming alcohol. I am really fed up with him. I have my income and properties. But I have no one to share my emotions as my son also has left and busy with his life in USA. I don't need any physical needs but need emotional support for rest of my life. I am in total depression for all I have undergone for 27 years. I currently having my father who is 80 years with me in the house. My husbands behaviour towards my father is very bad. Now my fathers health is getting affected because of my husbands shouting. I have no other friends or relations to relate to. My health also is getting slowly affected and I my mobility is very much restricted. Sometimes I was having succidal ideas. I have no life goals now. I have achieved all my goals. I have completed all my duties now. What should I do now?

Ans: Hats off to you my dear lady. You need to file for divorce and get this vile man out of your life and home once and for all. You have the means and the economic upper hand as well — consult a strong divorce lawyer and kick him to the curb! And there is life, love and companionship out there for you, so don’t give up on finding your own happiness — 52 is not old, you have a lot of years ahead with the potential to fulfill your happiness. Go for it!

Anu Krishna |1403 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 28, 2024

Relationship

Hello , I am married for 12 years . Ours is a love marriage. My husband abuses very badly when he gets angry . He talks very dirty things about me links me up to any guy and talk . When we were in relationship he knew about my friends (boys) one of the guy happens to be my husbands friend also ...even when he was my boys friend he would talk dirty about me .. link up and talk but I thought he is possessive and love me a lot so he talks that way .. now we have two children now before them also he abuses me very badly and even hits in anger ... Bec he is in abroad it s rare for kids to see .. what should I do now how to handle .. I get very stressed.. he even ask sorry after fight and begs to talk with me

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your husband is possibly insecure and of course this does not mean that he can be verbally and physically abusive. His expression of anger has to be channelized into communicating and that's why Anger Management seems to be what he needs.

Now, for this to happen, he first must acknowledge that the manner of his behavior is not appropriate and that he would like to change. And for this to happen, you must draw boundaries. When he starts to raise his voice, you insist that he talk respectfully and if he starts to become physically violent, you hold him back, so he knows that you will not tolerate this kind of behavior anymore. I would suggest you do this having a family member around; so that you know that you are not alone. Maybe when your parents are visiting or friends are staying over...Do not be alone when you are pushing him back as there is no way to know how his anger will turn around. But draw these boundaries; his insecurities need to be addressed by him and not use you to lash out his insecurities.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Latest Questions

Dr Nagarajan Jsk |183 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 19, 2024Hindi

Career

Hello sir I am mbbs graduated from russia in 2020,n passed with my fmge exam in india in 2021, I want to ask if i want to practice medicine or work as doctor in uk ? Is it necessary for me to pass plab exam exam? Or if i get sponsorship from any uk i will be able to work there and simultaneously i will give plab exam?? Please guide me i m so confused?

Ans: Hi, I understand that you pursued a medicine course in Russia (a non-European country) and, since you are from India, you have completed the FMGE. Now you want to practice or work in the UK as a doctor?

Based on your question, you are eligible to practice in India after completing your internship (which you haven't mentioned, but I assume you have completed it). The FMGE is essentially a licensure exam for Indian students who have completed their medical studies abroad, so you are eligible to practice in India only.

If you want to practice medicine in the UK, you need to complete the PLAB test, as you are from outside the UK/Switzerland/European countries (Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland).

You also inquired about sponsorship. Here is the information related to sponsorship for practicing medicine in the UK.
(Extracted from general medical council, uk org. )Applying for registration using sponsorship
If you apply through sponsorship, you will have to satisfy the sponsor that you possess the knowledge, skills and experience required for practising as a fully registered medical practitioner in the UK. Each sponsor has their own scheme which we have pre-approved. If you can satisfy the requirements of their scheme, they will issue you with a Sponsorship Registration Certificate (SRC) which you will need for your application with us. Please ensure this is a Sponsorship Registration Certificate for GMC registration, as we can’t accept UK visa sponsorship certificates for your application for registration.
Please note that a core part of all sponsors' criteria is that a doctor applying for an offer of sponsorship must have been engaged in medical practice for three out of the last five years including the most recent 12 months. If you cannot meet these minimum criteria, it is unlikely that you'll be able to supply sufficient evidence to support your application for sponsorship.
Doctors applying through sponsorship are required to demonstrate their English language skills by achieving our current minimum scores in the academic version of the IELTS test or the OET (medicine version).
• Alder Hey International Fellowship Scheme (Anaesthetics)
• Betsi Cadwaladr University Health Board - BCUHB IMG Sponsorship Scheme
• BAPIO Training Academy Ltd – BTA International Fellowship Scheme
• BAPIO Training Academy Ltd – International Training Programme for Postgraduate Doctors
• BAPIO Training Academy Ltd - BTA International Fellowship Scheme – Internal Medicine with interest in Oncology with MSc in Oncology
• Barking Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals NHS Trust - BHRUT Sponsorship Scheme for Overseas Doctors in Clinical Radiology
• Birmingham and Solihull Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry (Birmingham)
• Birmingham Women’s and Children’s Hospital – Birmingham Women’s and Children’s International Medical Graduate sponsorship scheme
• Bradford District Care NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Cambridge IVF, Cambridge University Hospitals NHS Trust – IVF Senior Clinical Fellowship Scheme
• Cambridge University Hospital – Senior Clinical Fellowship Scheme in Intensive Care Medicine/Anaesthesia
• Canterbury Christ Church University
• Cumbria Northumberland Tyne and Wear NHS Psychiatry Fellowship Programme
• Derbyshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry
• Dudley Group NHS Foundation Trust
• East Lancashire Hospitals NHS Trust - Clinical Fellowship in Urology or Ophthalmology
• East Lancashire Hospital NHS Trust - Specialist Clinical Fellowship in Pain Management
• East London NHS Foundation Trust (ELFT) – ELFT Advanced International Fellowship in Psychiatry
• East Suffolk and North Essex NHS Foundation Trust – ICENI Centre Fellowships Programme
• Edge Hill University and Wrightington, Wigan and Leigh NHS Trust – International Training Fellowships in MCh programmes
• ENT UK – Royal College of Surgeons
• Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust – EPUT Advanced Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Frimley Health NHS Foundation Trust – International Fellowship in Regional Anaesthesia combined with MSc in Principles of Regional Anaesthesia at the University of East Anglia
• Great Ormond Street Hospital International Fellowship Programme
• Guy's and St Thomas' Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Critical Care
• Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS Foundation Trust – International Clinical Fellowship Programme (ICFP)
• Guy's and St Thomas' Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Obstetrics and Gynaecology
• Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS Hospitals Foundation Trust – Oncology Specialty Training
• Guy's and St Thomas' NHS Hospitals Foundation Trust – Specialty Training in Anaesthetics
• Harefield Hospital, Royal Brompton and Harefield NHS Trust – Anaesthesia and Critical Care
• Hertfordshire Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust
• Hull University Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust – International Fellows at Hull University Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust
• Humber Teaching NHS Foundation Trust - Sponsored International Fellowship Scheme in Psychiatry
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – Emergency Medicine
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – Haematology
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – International Anaesthesia Trainees
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – Intensive Care Medicine
• Imperial College, London - Clinical Research
• King’s College Hospital NHS Trusts – International Critical Care Fellowship
• King’s College Hospital NHS Trusts – Paediatric Critical Care Fellowship
• Lancashire & South Cumbria NHS Foundation Trust - Psychiatry specialty Fellowship Scheme
• Lancashire Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust - Overseas Registrar Development and Recruitment (ORDER)
• Leeds Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust – International Fellowship Programme
• Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust – International Medical Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry
• Lincolnshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust – CESR Fellowship in Psychiatry or Sponsored Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Lysholm Dept of Neuroradiology – National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery, UCL
• Manchester University NHS Foundation Trust – International Fellowship Programme
• Midlands Partnership NHS Foundation Trust
• Ministry of Defence – International Military Clinical Fellowships
• Modality Partnership - Modality Primary Care International Fellowship Scheme
• NAViGO Health and Social Care CIC – International Medical Fellowship in Psychiatry
• NHS England, East of England - East of England International Office GMC Sponsorship
• NHS Fife – CESR Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry
• NHS Grampian – Psychiatry CESR Fellowship Programme
• NHS Grampian – Multi-specialty SAS Fellowship
• NHS Wales Shared Services Partnership (NWSSP) – All Wales International Medical Recruitment Programme
• Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust (NSFT) - Advanced Clinical Fellowship in Psychiatry
• North Lincolnshire and Goole NHS Foundation Trust (NLAG) Sponsorship Programme
• Northampton General Hospital – Clinical Fellowship in Regional Anaesthesia
• Northampton General Hospital NHS Trust - International Clinical Fellowship in Regional Anaesthesia, Vascular Anaesthesia, or Peri-operative Medicine
• Northamptonshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust – International Clinical Fellowship Scheme
• Northamptonshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust – International Clinical Fellowship Scheme (Psychiatry)
• Northern Care Alliance – NCA International Medical Fellowship Scheme
• Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Oxford Eye Hospital
• Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Oxford Intensive Care Medicine (OxICM) Sponsorship Scheme
• Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Oxford University Hospitals Sponsorship Scheme
• Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – The Oxford International Neonatal and Paediatric Fellowship Programme
• Rotherham Doncaster and South Humber NHS Foundation Trust - Sponsored International Fellowship Scheme in Psychiatry
• Royal College of Anaesthetists – Global Fellowship Scheme (Anaesthesia or ICM)
• Royal College of Anaesthetists – MTI Scheme
• Royal College of Emergency Medicine
• Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists – MTI Scheme
• Royal College of Ophthalmologists
• Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health – International Paediatric Sponsorship Scheme
• Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health – MTI Scheme
• Royal College of Pathologists
• Royal College of Physicians of Edinburgh
• Royal College of Surgeons of England
• Royal College of Physicians of London
• Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Glasgow
• Royal College of Psychiatrists – MTI Scheme
• Royal College of Radiologists – Clinical Radiology
• Royal College of Radiologists – Clinical Oncology
• Royal College of Radiologists – RCR Specialty Training Sponsorship Scheme
• Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh
• Royal Devon and Exeter NHS Trust
• Royal Papworth Hospital NHS Foundation Trust – Senior Clinical Fellowship Programme in Anaesthesia and Critical Care
• Royal Wolverhampton Trust – Clinical Fellowship Programme
• Sheffield Children’s NHS Foundation Trust - Rotational Clinical Fellows in Paediatrics, Trauma and Orthopaedic International Fellows, and Subspeciality Fellows in Paediatrics
• Sheffield Health and Social Care NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Somerset NHS Foundation Trust – Somerset Overseas Doctors Sponsorship Scheme
• Somerset NHS Foundation Trust – Psychiatry Overseas Doctors Sponsorship Scheme
• South Warwickshire University NHS Foundation Trust - GMC Multispecialty Sponsorship Scheme
• South West Yorkshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust – International Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Southmead Hospital, North Bristol NHS Trust – International Obstetrics and Gynaecology Training Programme
• St Bartholomew’s Hospital, Barts Health NHS Trust – St Bartholomew’s Critical Care Fellowship
• St George’s University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – International Anaesthetics Fellowship Programme
• St George’s University Hospital NHS Foundation Trust (Dr Nirav Shah) – International Intensive Care Medicine Trainees
• St George’s University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – International Emergency Medicine Trainees
• Surrey and Borders Partnership (SABP) NHS Foundation Trust – International Psychiatric and Community Paediatrics Sponsorship Scheme
• Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Foundation Trust – International Psychiatric CESR or SAS Fellowship
• University College London Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, Department of Critical Care – Clinical Fellowship Critical Care and Perioperative Medicine
• University Hospital Birmingham NHS Foundation Trust - International Training Fellowship Programme
• University Hospitals Birmingham NHS Foundation Trust - UHB LED Fellowship Programme
• University Hospitals Bristol and Weston NHS Foundation Trust – Bristol Children's Hospital International Fellowship Scheme
• University Hospitals Bristol and Weston NHS Foundation Trust - Department of General Internal Medicine at Weston General Hospital
• University Hospitals Coventry and Warwickshire NHS Trust
• University Hospitals of Leicester NHS Trust - Postgraduate Clinical Fellowship Programme
• University of Buckingham – Master of Medicine
• University of Buckingham – Master of Surgery
• University of Chester and Cheshire and Wirral Partnership NHS Trust – International Training Fellows Psychiatry
• University of Hertfordshire – Professional Doctorate in General Internal Medicine (Clinical MD) Programme
KINDLY NOTE: If your sponsor is not on this list then you cannot apply using sponsorship.
If you have any further questions, please visit the GMC website for more information.

WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST.

Dr Nagarajan Jsk |183 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2024Hindi

Career

I’m mbbs final year student from Kathmandu university want pg medicine from UAE

Ans: You have provided very limited information. I understand that you are a student from Kathmandu University and wish to pursue higher education in medicine in the UAE. To provide a more accurate response, I need the following details:

What is your nationality? (Based on your nationality, I can check the relevant requirements from the health department regarding courses and internships).

Dr Nagarajan Jsk |183 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2024Hindi

Career

Sir my son has 92 percentile in cat 2024..what are his scopes of admission.

Ans: Hi Sir,
You have provided very limited information to obtain the details. However, the percentile of the candidate will not solely determine the admission process. Other factors are also involved, including:

- Course
- Institution
- Caste
- Creamy layer
- Gender

But, there may be possibilities for admission to the following IIMs: IIM Visakhapatnam, Udaipur, Bodhgaya, Shillong, and Rohtak.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7290 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi Sir, I follow your articles regularly and your detailed assessment is really awesome.I am 47yrs Male with wife, 20&18 years kids, elder one is in B.Tech and younger one is 12th. My wife is a home maker. Coming to financials. I have 4 houses including the one residing worth 10cr(total) and getting rental income of 70k per month, invested in stocks and MFs worth 60L, have foreign stocks of worth 1.7cr, accumulated pf around 1.3cr. I have farm lands worth 5cr. Have 1.2cr loan and salary of ~4L (net). current sips in equity 70k/month, have 5Cr term plan, health insurance for family 50L. How do I plan my retirement at 52-53years assuming 80 years life expectancy. Don't want to depend on kids and need regular income ~3-4L per month.

Ans: Asset Evaluation
Real Estate:
You own four houses worth Rs 10 crore, generating Rs 70,000 monthly rental income. This is a solid base for passive income. However, real estate can have fluctuating maintenance costs, tenant issues, and varying rental yields over time.

Stocks and Mutual Funds:
Your Rs 60 lakh investment in stocks and mutual funds is a commendable step. Active mutual funds offer professional fund management and can outperform index funds over time.

Foreign Stocks:
Your Rs 1.7 crore portfolio in foreign stocks adds geographical diversification. Monitor currency exchange fluctuations and global market trends.

Provident Fund (PF):
With Rs 1.3 crore in PF, this is a reliable retirement corpus. The fund provides fixed returns and tax benefits, adding stability.

Farm Lands:
Farm lands worth Rs 5 crore are an illiquid but valuable asset. They might not generate consistent income unless leased or developed.

Loans:
A loan liability of Rs 1.2 crore needs prioritised repayment. Focus on loans with higher interest rates first.

Insurance Coverage:
A Rs 5 crore term plan is robust. Your Rs 50 lakh health insurance is sufficient for unexpected medical emergencies.

Retirement Goals
You need Rs 3–4 lakh monthly for 27–28 years post-retirement.
The portfolio must generate steady, inflation-adjusted returns.
Action Plan for Retirement
Debt Management
Prepay High-Interest Loans:
Use a portion of your surplus income to prepay loans. This reduces interest outflow and increases your cash flow.

Avoid New Loans:
Focus on reducing existing liabilities instead of taking on new ones.

Portfolio Restructuring
Real Estate:
Retain essential properties. Sell underperforming or non-essential properties to reduce concentration in real estate. Invest proceeds in mutual funds or debt instruments for diversification.

Mutual Funds (MFs):
Increase SIPs in actively managed funds. They outperform direct funds due to guidance from Certified Financial Planners and MFDs. Regular funds offer better tracking and professional assistance.

Stocks:
Monitor direct equity investments closely. Consider reallocating underperforming stocks to mutual funds for better management.

Debt Instruments:
Invest in high-quality debt funds or fixed-income securities for stability. These instruments balance equity volatility and ensure steady returns.

SIP Strategy
Increase SIPs from Rs 70,000 to Rs 1 lakh/month.
Allocate 70% to equity funds for long-term growth.
Invest 30% in debt funds for stability and liquidity.
Emergency Fund
Maintain a 12-month expense reserve in liquid funds or fixed deposits.
This covers unexpected expenses without disturbing investments.
Income During Retirement
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Use SWPs in mutual funds to generate regular income.
Withdraw 6–8% annually from your mutual fund portfolio for a steady income stream.
Rental Income Optimisation
Review property rents regularly.
Invest part of rental income in equity or debt mutual funds for compounding.
Dividend Stocks
Retain high-dividend-yield stocks for regular income.
Reinvest surplus dividends for long-term growth.
Tax Efficiency
Equity Funds Taxation:
Long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds Taxation:
Both short- and long-term gains are taxed per your income slab.

Real Estate Capital Gains:
Use exemptions under Sections 54 or 54F to save tax on property sales.

Inflation Protection
Allocate 60–70% of your portfolio to equity investments.

Equity provides inflation-adjusted returns over time.

Debt funds and fixed instruments safeguard against equity market volatility.

Estate Planning
Draft a will to allocate assets transparently among family members.
Use nomination and joint ownership to avoid legal complications.
Consider a family trust for farm lands to avoid disputes.
Periodic Review
Review your financial plan every six months.
Adjust investments based on market conditions, goals, and needs.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner regularly for updates.
Finally
A well-diversified portfolio ensures financial independence post-retirement. Focus on debt repayment, portfolio balance, and tax-efficient withdrawals. Your assets can comfortably generate Rs 3–4 lakh monthly income, adjusted for inflation.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Kanchan Rai |444 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Question by Kevin - Dec 19, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am the eldest sibling in our families and aged 51. Normally, whenever anyone in the family has a problem - financial, mental, psychological, issue with people or anything else, they come up to discuss with me and share. Well, many would say I am lucky as people look up to me when they are in any kind of a problem. But that is not the case. Sadly no one is around with whom I can discuss or even think to share my issues, my problems. I do not have any friends. Sadly, yes, that is a fact and at my age, I dont expect that here we have a culture where we can get to making friends, at least the kind of friends with whom you can confide, share your feelings, problems. I tried and failed. Maybe because I am introvert or maybe I am too cautious. To make it more complicated, I dont work in the regular kind of job. I am a lone person who works as a freelance from home. This limits my outreach when it comes to interacting with real people. I have clients, business contacts, but I cannot get personal with them. It will never be a good choice. My wife is busy with her job + we do not have any relation beyond the daily matters related to household and it has been more than 10 years now that we live this way. Tried to sort out things with her but she just does not have time and interest (after all who wants to add on to tensions, stress). My daughter is after all my daughter - I cannot share these with her, and definitely at 10 she is too young to be one to discuss such stuff. I am not sure how far this issue can be fixed but I am hopeful to find some path here.

Ans: Dear Kevin,
Starting small can be helpful. Consider connecting with people through shared interests or hobbies, either online or in person, where the pressure to immediately open up is minimal. Online communities, local meetups, or volunteer activities can create low-stakes opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals. The goal isn’t to instantly find someone to confide in but to slowly build a sense of belonging and companionship.

Your relationship with your wife appears to be another significant source of emotional distance. While her lack of interest in deep conversations may seem like a barrier, it’s worth exploring other ways to reconnect—perhaps by spending time together in shared activities or revisiting moments that once brought you closer. Sometimes, relationships stuck in routines benefit from new experiences or even professional counseling to navigate the underlying dynamics.

Regarding your daughter, while it’s clear she cannot shoulder your emotional burdens, she can still be a source of joy and connection. Investing time in activities with her can provide a sense of fulfillment and grounding that counters loneliness.

Above all, remember that reaching out for professional support, such as therapy, is not a sign of weakness but an act of self-care. A therapist can provide a safe space to express your feelings and help you develop strategies to foster deeper connections and manage emotional isolation.

You deserve to feel supported and connected, and even if the journey to finding that seems long, every step you take toward opening up or seeking out others is a move toward a more fulfilling and less lonely existence.

T S Khurana |260 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024Hindi

Money

My Question is for New Tax Regime for Financial Year 2024 – 25. Total gross Income is Rs.9 lakhs and along with that income from share / stock trading i.e short term gains of Rs. 1 lakh. Could you please help me advise if what would be the tax liability?

Ans: 01. Considering your Income of Rs.9.00 lakhs as business income & Rs.1.00 lakh as STCG on securities, without any tax savings, your tax liability would be around Rs.62,400.00 in New tax regime. If we opt for the old tax regime, your tax liability would be much more than this.
Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

T S Khurana |260 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Question by SA - Nov 11, 2024Hindi

Money

I got a residential property through will from my mother,,property is 30 years old and i am planning to sell it, in that case i am going to get Rs 165lacks,, what will be the tax implication and how to avoid the same kindly advise i am 55 years old married man with a daughter

Ans: 01. In this case, you would be subjected to LTCG (Long Term Capital Gain) tax.
02. To work out LTCG, you should reduce its Cost from the Sale proceeds (Rs.165.00 lakhs).
of property, which was costed to your mother.
03. However, following details may help you to assess your tax liability.
Under present provisions of Income Tax Act, you may opt any of the options (Long Term
Capital Gains), as under :
(a). Tax Rate 12.50% without indexation or
(b). Tax Rate of 20% with Indexation.
04. You may calculate your tax liability under both options & may opt for the tax regime, where tax liability is minimum.
05. To avoid tax, you may invest in purchase of some house property. Exemption available would be minimum of Cost of new house property or the LTCG, which ever is less.
06. You have the option to purchase Capital Gain Bonds of NHAI etc., for tax saving.
07. Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

T S Khurana |260 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi

Money

Hello Sir, I worked in a Pvt Ltd company from 2006 to 2011, and they had their own PF trust. The company was later sold off to another firm. I still haven't withdrawn the my PF amount. How will i be able to do that. I have the PF number and ESP number. Since this was before 2011 , my UAN is not linked to this account. How will i be able to retrieve my PF amount that is still stuck here.

Ans: Kindly keep in touch with your previous employer (present owner of the company), in this connection. There should not be any problem in getting your PF amount, except certain formalities/ forms to be submitted.
Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

T S Khurana |260 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2024Hindi

Money

Dear Guru. I have inherited a property in Mumbai from my deceased father which was purchased in 1983 by him. If today i sell the property which is worth 2.60 Crs whats my capital gains tax and how will it be calculated

Ans: 01. In absence of exact figures, it is not possible to calculate your Capital Gains Tax. However, following details may help you to assess your tax liability.
02. Under present provisions of Income Tax Act, you may opt any of the options (Long Term
Capital Gains), as under :
(a). Tax Rate 12.50% without indexation or
(b). Tax Rate of 20% with Indexation.
03. You may calculate your tax liability under both options & may opt for the tax regime, where tax liability is minimum.
04. Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7290 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Question by Anil - Dec 20, 2024Hindi

Money

Top4 sips with 15k amount suggest me

Ans: Here’s an updated strategy for your Rs. 15,000 SIP allocation, replacing the sectoral/thematic fund with a small-cap fund for better long-term growth potential.

Suggested SIP Allocation (Rs. 15,000)
Large-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 4,000/month
Objective: Stability and steady growth by investing in India’s top 100 companies.
Why Choose: Provides consistent returns and low volatility in your portfolio.
Flexi-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 4,000/month
Objective: Diversified exposure across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.
Why Choose: Offers balanced risk and returns with flexibility during market cycles.
Mid-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 3,500/month
Objective: Tap into the growth potential of medium-sized companies.
Why Choose: Higher returns with manageable risk compared to small caps.
Small-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 3,500/month
Objective: Focus on fast-growing small-cap companies.
Why Choose: High-growth potential over the long term, though with higher volatility.
Why Include Small-Cap Funds?
Long-Term Growth: Small-cap companies have immense potential to grow significantly over time.
Diversification: Adds exposure to an underrepresented segment, complementing large and mid-caps.
High Returns: Potential for higher returns compared to other categories, albeit with higher risk.
Key Considerations
Investment Horizon: Stay invested for at least 7-10 years to mitigate short-term volatility.
Active Fund Management: Avoid direct or index funds to leverage professional expertise.
Regular Monitoring: Review fund performance periodically with a Certified Financial Planner.
Tax Implications
Equity Funds:
LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh/year taxed at 12.5%.
STCG (held less than 1 year) taxed at 20%.
Final Insights
This updated allocation ensures a mix of stability, moderate risk, and high growth. With consistent SIPs and periodic reviews, you can achieve robust wealth creation over the long term. A Certified Financial Planner can assist in optimising your investment strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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