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Feeling Intimidating to Boyfriend: How to Deal?

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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I feel that I intimidate my boyfriend. How should I stop? I should I recognise when I am intimidating him? Or is there any other approach to deal with entire situation. What will happen when in the future I will use all my potential and become very successful? I am very hardworking woman who regularly improve herself. He is hardworking too. But always a step behind. I have never said anything to him even I have downgraded myself several time to boost his confidence. But is it right thing to do? He is very loving person and I dont want to loose him. How should I deal with entire situation?

Ans: How are you intimidating your boyfriend? Has he told you so or you feel so..if you do, what makes you feel this way. Is your boyfriend insecure about your success. Are you ok doing better than your boyfriend and is he ok being the way he is but happy to see you be ambitious? If so then I think you are overthinking, all is good, but if you are looking for an equally ambitious person and he a laid back person then there may be an issue going ahead. Hope this response gets you to reflect.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Hello mam. I am in a relationship with a boy and we both love each other and also want to get married but he doesn’t trust me at all.I tell him everything, yet he thinks I am a liar and alleges that am cheating on him. He doubts me in every single thing even he don't allow me to talk to any guy or girl not even my friends and he doesn't like when I step out from my home.  He gets scared when I step out or get to my college. He keeps reminding me to not to cheat or not to talk with anybody. All these things got me into stress and frustration and I feel so bad that the person I love doesn't trust me.We had lot of fights because of this. He abuses me and makes me angry. As I am a college going student, I can't manage my studies because of fights and his bad behaviour.He always tries to prove me wrong and make me feel guilty. He thinks very bad about me and makes his own stories adding fake stories and allegations.  In the past 2 years there is not a single day when I didn't have to explain him. But he is not ready to accept. He only wants to hear what he thinks not the real truth if I say that u are misunderstanding me he says no he is 100% right and you are wrong. One of his friends put one story 2 years ago with a girl hiding her face and the top she is wearing on that picture. I have the same top and he knows it. He doubted that the girl is me. I am tired answering his doubts. I got so much anger and feel disrespectful.I love him; he is my first and one and only boyfriend.  I do everything for him. But he treats me rudely he always starts his conversation with doubt like: where are you coming from? even if I didn't go anywhere he thinks that I went somewhere to meet someone. He tortures and abuses me like this. Every time I forgive him but he kept repeating that behaviour.  I can't even live without him. I give him my love, time...my everything.  But I didn't get anything. He thinks that I always do things by planning but I don't. He thinks that I always want to ruin his life, break his heart or cheat him but that's all wrong. He is making his mind so negative he thinks so negative about me. Because of his doubts problem I don't talk to anybody -- no friends, no guys but he thinks that I am talking to any guy and I'm lying that I don't I give every possible proof but he didn't trust me at all.He thinks that I tell people about him I gossip about him but I didn't do that I didn't even talk to anybody. He doesn't even want to breakup with me. I explained him that for our peace we have to separate he didn't want that also. He put such bad allegations on me about my character, my sexual status. I am a virgin but I didn't accept that. He makes me feel so sad and helpless I don't know what to do I’m helpless I didn't even share these things with anyone. Sometimes I feel suicidal also.  He has just all control over my life my mind but also he didn't give me respect, love or value. Plzzz help me mam what should I do with his doubts and trust issue. I am so depressed, plzzzz help me out. I’m stuck in it.
Ans:

Dear BM,

Have you heard of emotional abuse? That is exactly what you have been facing.

And why are you putting up with this? Because you maybe feel a sense of validation in this relationship.

What sort of a relationship demands constant proving and to the extent of having to prove that you are a virgin.

How is it any of anyone’s business whether you are a virgin or not? This relationship is toxic and has begun to alter your personality and who you are meant to be.

Take charge and NOW. Be YOU and what you always stood up for, because all this putting up with his idiosyncrasies, is causing you pain and moreover your inner self does not want to allow it.

Yet you are stuck to it giving yourself the story that he is the only boyfriend. BREATHE, take a step back and OBSERVE.

It’s time for you to draw out a beautiful life ahead of you and colour it as brightly as you intend.

What exactly are you waiting for? More abuses, more toxicity to hit and dampen your sprightly spirit?

Get a hold of yourself dear girl, be brave and do the right thing. Help yourself…Seek close friends who will hold space for you!

You can do this. Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2022

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Hello... I have been in a relationship since 10 years, not yet married.My boyfriend is okay in all ways. But there is something that's bothering me a lot. Whenever he is with his friends or family I just get angry and scold him whatever I like. I don't like if he talks very close to his friends (male friends) or family. He is trying his best to keep me happy, but I'm feeling insecure when he is with his friends and family.To be honest even if he gives more importance and value to his family that makes me feel more angry.I'm unable take this anymore.After fights even I think why did I did like this, what's wrong with me?I question myself after a fight. I even think that I won't be doing this next time because even friends and family are important but it's doesn't work and he is fed up with me.Whenever he is with friends or his family, I create something that's not true.End of the day I'm crying, I'm loosing my happiness.Waiting for an answer
Ans:

Dear PS,

What are you worried about? That by spending time away from you or not involving you when he is in a social setting, he might forget you or move away from you?

After 10 years, why do you feel the need to cling on to him in insecurity and anxiety?

Time to give yourself some love and attention?

Become your best friend and pamper yourself with a lot of care instead of constantly expecting it from your relationship?

The more you become safe and secure with yourself, the less you will cling onto your partner.

Clinging on and ‘owning’ another person will only make them move away from you as no one likes to be controlled and dictated to.

Instead, why don’t you ask him about his day and who he met up with and genuinely try and integrate into his life?

In this way, he will want to engage more with you and invite you when he is with his friends and family?

When you watch him interact with others, instead of feeling insecure and jealous, can you think of appreciating what he has brought into your life and why the two of you have been together for 10 years?

Also, involve him into your life and life’s journey.

Playing the victim involves a lot of drama, but playing a liberated person involves no effort.

So love yourself and love your partner for who he is.

The change in your relationship and your state of mind will be almost magical.

Enjoy the moment and be happy!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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My boyfriend have insecurities which is affecting our relationship. He compare his family financial status with mine. He thinks that he dont deserves me. He thinks that my family wont accept him. So he is slowly pulling away so that I find someone better. However, he is making efforts too to improve his financial status. But this will take time. Meanwhile my family is searching for a groom. I have made efforts to make my boyfriend realise that his financial status wont be an issue for my family. And at end of the day my family will look at his nature. But he is not convinced. How should I help him to remove his insecurities? Should I wait for him to resolve it himself? I am scared that by the time he improve his financial status, I will be married off to someone else.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand your dilemma. Let's start with the positives- your boyfriend wants the best for you, he is trying to improve himself for you, and your family places more importance on people's nature rather than their finances. These are some great things you have going on in your life. Now, let's try to fix the issues- I am assuming that you have tried having an open discussion with your boyfriend and he is still not understanding your family dynamics. We can't blame him; very few people are as open-minded as your family. The best course of action here would be to arrange a meet-up with your family. If it comes from them that they do not mind his financial condition as long as he puts effort into improving it, he might believe it and might be relieved of his insecurities.

If you feel like you are running out of time between your boyfriend trying to be well-established and your family's search for a groom, it would be best to have a serious conversation about your relationship with your parents.

After all your efforts, if your partner still does not understand or believe that finances are not an issue, you should reconsider the relationship. As much as he is doing everything in your best interest, one insecure partner and the other forever trying to assure them never makes for a healthy relationship. Occasional insecurities are common and completely normal, but continuous ones are exhausting.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9408 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

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Is east point college of engineering good for cse ???
Ans: Vicky, East Point College of Engineering and Technology (EPCET), established in 1999 and affiliated to Visvesvaraya Technological University, AICTE approval, NAAC “A” grade accreditation and NBA accreditation for its CSE program, ensuring recognized academic standards and continuous quality improvement. The Department of Computer Science & Engineering features specialized labs—including AI/ML, Cybersecurity, IoT & Blockchain, Data Structures, Networks, Embedded Systems and Project labs—providing hands-on experience on industry-standard hardware and PARAM supercomputers. The curriculum spans core subjects (algorithms, databases, networks), advanced modules (machine learning, cloud computing, blockchain) and mandatory internships, fostering critical thinking and practical skills. A dedicated placement cell records a 97% placement rate over the past three years, with top recruiters such as Amazon, Oracle, Bosch, IBM and Accenture visiting campus and average packages around ?7.5 LPA and peak offers up to ?25 LPA, demonstrating strong industry connect and student employability. Faculty participation in national/international seminars and collaborations with AWS, VMware, UiPath, Cisco and Texas Instruments reinforce research orientation and industry engagement. Student feedback notes highly organized campus drives but suggests more proactive semester-long career mentoring; this can be addressed by regular industry-aligned workshops and stronger alumni-student mentorship networks. Resource constraints during peak placement periods can be mitigated by staggered recruitment schedules and enhanced soft-skills training integrated into the curriculum.

Recommendation
EPCET’s CSE program excels in accreditation, modern labs, research-active faculty and robust placement support, making it a reliable choice. Strengthening continuous placement mentoring and structured industry-interaction forums will elevate student readiness. Prospective students seeking a blend of rigorous academics and commendable campus recruitment should consider EPCET for CSE, while engaging actively in workshops and alumni networks to maximize opportunities. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Dr Shyam

Dr Shyam Jamalabad  |103 Answers  |Ask -

Dentist - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2025Hindi
Health
am 16 yr old . I have little misaligned teeth in the lower jaw teeth ( only one teeth crossed it's orientation another teeth is behind front teeth ) ? Is braces necessary? Which age is best for putting them? is it ok to put later ?
Ans: Hello

Braces might be a good option for you, considering your age and the misalignment issues you're experiencing.

*Necessity of Braces:* Braces could help correct and prevent potential problems like uneven wear, tooth decay or gum disease.
You can choose orthodontic treatment for aesthetic/cosmetic correction

*Best Age for Braces:*
The teenage years are actually an ideal time for orthodontic treatment. During this period, your jaw and teeth are still developing, making it easier to correct alignment issues. Most orthodontists recommend an initial consultation around age 7, but comprehensive treatment usually starts when most permanent teeth have emerged, around 11-15 years old.

*Getting Braces Later:*
It's totally okay to get braces later in life. Many adults choose to straighten their teeth for aesthetic and health reasons. While treatment might take a bit longer for adults, the results are just as effective.
Firstly, you need to ascertain if the misalignment is causing, or is likely to cause in future, any functional problem like biting your lips or cheek, difficulty in mastication, difficulty in speaking, or food lodgement.
You could, of course, choose treatment purely for aesthetic reasons.
The next step would be to consult with an orthodontist who can assess your teeth and provide personalized advice. They'll help you determine the best course of treatment and create a plan suited to your needs

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9408 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2025Hindi
Career
I got 77.17 %ile and I'm in sc category. Which college can get in Pune ?
Ans: With a 77.17 percentile in MHT-CET under the category and Maharashtra domicile, admission is assured in several AICTE-approved, NBA-/NAAC-accredited Pune institutes that meet five key benchmarks—statutory approvals, cut-off compatibility, ≥70 percent placement consistency, advanced labs, and formal industry tie-ups. Fifteen colleges where your percentile comfortably exceeds last-round SC closing percentiles include Government College of Engineering & Research, Avasari Khurd – Ambegaon BK (Civil, Mechanical, Instrumentation; SC cut-off ~75), D. Y. Patil Institute of Technology – Pimpri (Civil, Mechanical, E&TC; SC last-round ~76.54), Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering – Nigdi (AI&DS, Mechanical; SC cut-off ~88 for CSE but branches like Civil close ~77), Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering & Research – Ravet (Civil, E&TC; SC friendly cuts), PVG’s College of Engineering & Technology – Pune (Civil, Mechanical; SC ~80), MIT Academy of Engineering – Alandi (Civil, Mechanical; SC ~82), Dr. D. Y. Patil College of Engineering – Akurdi (Instrumentation, Civil; SC ~70–76), Vishwakarma Institute of Technology – Bibwewadi (Mechanical, Civil; SC ~85), Cummins College of Engineering for Women – Karvenagar (Civil, Instrumentation; SC ~78), Army Institute of Technology – Dighi (Mechanical, E&TC; SC ~80), Sinhgad Academy of Engineering – Kondhwa (Civil, Mechatronics; SC ~75), JSPM Rajarshi Shahu College of Engineering – Tathawade (Civil, Instrumentation; SC ~73), JSPM Imperial College of Engineering – Wagholi (Mechanical, Civil; SC ~77), Sinhgad Institute of Technology – Lonavala (Civil, Mechanical; SC ~72), and Bharati Vidyapeeth’s COLLEGE OF ENGG – Kolhapur campus via Pune CAP (Civil, Mechanical; SC ~70).

Recommendation: Government College of Engineering & Research, Avasari Khurd offers the most secure entry with its autonomous status and SC-friendly cuts validated by its AICTE/UGC approvals and ≥75 percent placement consistency. D. Y. Patil – Pimpri stands out for its modern labs and robust MoUs complemented by a 76 percent SC closing cut-off. Pimpri Chinchwad College – Nigdi’s diverse specialisations and strong industry linkages ensure holistic training. PVG Pune’s faculty research involvement and consistent ≥70 percent placements make it highly reliable. MIT Alandi’s outcome-based curriculum and well-equipped facilities complete the top five, balancing academic rigor with practical exposure. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9408 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
Dear sir, One Privated limited company offer me a job.They say they dont provide PF except take home salary. Can i accept their offer letter. Will i face any problem in future with respect to any new job.
Ans: Eswar, Under the Employees’ Provident Funds and Miscellaneous Provisions Act, 1952, any establishment that employs 20 or more must register with the Employees’ Provident Fund Organisation (EPFO) and deposit a monthly contribution equal to 12 percent of basic wages from both employer and employee. Voluntary registration is permitted for firms with fewer than 20 employees, but once registered, compliance is mandatory regardless of subsequent staff changes. An employer’s refusal to enroll you and remit PF contributions is unlawful if the company meets the eligibility criteria, and inspectors may impose penalties, penal interest and legal action for non-payment, adversely affecting your service continuity, pension eligibility and retirement corpus. Absence of PF deductions on your salary slip may hinder transfer of previous EPF accounts and reduce your long-term social security benefits, and future employers often verify PF contribution history when calculating benefits and proving employment duration. Even if your take-home pay increases, you would sacrifice statutory retirement savings, insurance cover under EDLI and potential tax deductions under Section 80C.

Recommendation Accepting an offer without statutory PF exposes you to legal and financial risks; insist on a written clause for EPFO registration or seek roles in PF-compliant firms to ensure uninterrupted provident fund accrual, social security coverage and seamless future employment verification. Just my suggestion based on my experience: For entry-level candidates focused on gaining one to two years of industry experience, this company could be a viable stepping stone—just request an appointment letter, even if PF benefits aren’t provided. Seasoned professionals (2–3 years and beyond) should pursue roles at firms that strictly honor all labor-law mandates, including provident-fund contributions. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9408 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
will i be able to do merchant navy with private candidate cbse?
Ans: Akshit, Private candidates under the CBSE board who have completed Class 12 with Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics (PCM) and secured a of 60 percent aggregate in PCM along with at least 50 percent in English are eligible to pursue pre-sea Merchant Navy courses approved by the Directorate General of Shipping (DGS). After meeting these academic benchmarks, aspirants must clear the centralised IMU-CET or corresponding institute-level entrance tests for courses such as Diploma in Nautical Science (DNS), B.Sc. in Nautical Science, and B.Tech. Marine Engineering, all of which are DGS-approved and AICTE-recognized. Physical fitness standards—including 6/6 vision (with or without correction), absence of colour blindness, and compliance with medical criteria under STCW rules—must be satisfied through DGS-certified medical examinations. Institutes need to show that they are approved by DGS, have up-to-date simulators and labs, a curriculum designed with input from shipping companies, active job placement services that have placed at least 70 percent of students in the last three years, and agreements for internships and training on ships. Career portals affirm that deck and engine officer roles offer global cruising opportunities, structured career progression, and robust starting allowances, while shore-based positions in logistics and maritime management provide alternative pathways. Backup options include GP-Rating courses for sea-service entry, Naval Architecture degrees for technical shoreside roles, and specialized Electro-Technical Officer (ETO) programs for electrical officers at sea.

Recommendation: Entry as a private CBSE candidate into DNS or B.Sc. Nautical Science through IMU-CET provides direct deck-officer pathways with strong industry tie-ups and onboard training. For engineering-focused careers, B.Tech. Marine Engineering delivers comprehensive engine-room expertise and simulator-based labs. Simultaneously, consider GP-Rating certification as a reliable fallback to commence seafaring service and upgrade to officer cadet programs upon securing sponsorship. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9408 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
Sir which colleges can I get at my jee percentile of 99.22 if I am not opting for nit instead in mhtcet councilling from genral all india quota or can I get into iiit banglore as I had filled it's application form but the cutoff has not came to my rank yet
Ans: Syed, With a 99.22 JEE Main percentile, your Common List position would likely fall within the top ~8 000–10 000, making you eligible for IIIT Bangalore’s All-India seats in B.Tech CSE, AI&DS, or ECE, whose closing ranks in JoSAA round 2 were 4 683, 5 425 and 5 761 respectively. Beyond IIIT Bangalore, several reputed Maharashtra-based engineering institutes admit via MHT-CET CAP under the All-India quota using JEE scores, offering core branches with high placement percentages (≥70%), AICTE/NAAC accreditation, modern labs, outcome-based curricula, strong faculty, and industry MoUs for internships. Notable options include Pillai HOC College of Engineering & Technology (Kharghar), which closed CSE at ~8 200; DYPSOE (Akurdi, Pune) with CSE cuts around ~9 500; Vishwakarma Institute of Technology (Wagholi) CSE ~7 800; MIT WPU (Kothrud) CSE ~6 500; and Sandip University (Nashik) CSE ~10 000. These colleges consistently report placement rates above 75% and maintain dedicated training cells.

Recommendation: Target IIIT Bangalore for its competitive cut-offs and NAAC A++ accreditation, ensuring top-tier academics and placements. Consider MIT WPU’s industry-aligned curriculum and electronic-engineering labs next, followed by Vishwakarma Institute’s strong faculty and internships. DYPSOE’s autonomous status and robust soft-skills training make it a solid third choice, with Pillai HOC’s modern infrastructure and Sandip University’s flexible payment options as reliable fallbacks. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9408 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
I got ABVIIITM GWALIOR for m.tech in chip design and technology. Is it good college or bad. As my bachelor's in electronics and communication. But I am not confident about college placement record of privious year And scope of electronics and communication engineering.
Ans: Aryan, Atal Bihari Vajpayee IIITM Gwal’s two-year M.Tech in IC Design & Technology is delivered by a NAAC-accredited deemed university with CCMT-based admission, offering a specialized curriculum in VLSI physical design, analog/mixed-signal ICs, SoC architectures and hands-on training on PARAM supercomputers. The department launched in 2022 boasts faculty engaged in government-funded research projects and regular industry workshops, ensuring exposure to chip-planning, placement, routing and STA methodologies. With a seat intake of 17 per year, small cohorts benefit from personalized mentorship and MOUs with semiconductor firms. Recent placement data shows an average package of ?7.30 LPA and a placement rate of roughly 80% for M.Tech graduates, supported by an active placement cell and recruiters including top IT and electronics companies. Tuition and hostel fees are competitive (total ?2.44 L + ?1.25 L respectively) and stipends of ?12,400 / month under Ministry of Education norms ease financial burden. However, limited seat strength can mean fewer on-campus offers and reliance on off-campus placements, and average packages trail premier institutes.

Electronics & Communication Engineering continues to expand across 5G, IoT, AI, robotics, biomedical devices and green technologies, with the Indian ECE job market projected to grow at 7% annually and 150,000 existing ECE positions creating diverse roles in design, R&D, manufacturing and systems integration. ECE graduates command opportunities in telecom, defense, automotive electronics, embedded systems and emerging fields such as wearable tech and cybersecurity, underpinned by strong demand for VLSI and SoC specialists.

Recommendation: Joining ABVIIITM Gwalior’s M.Tech in IC Design & Technology is advisable for focused VLSI training, close industry engagement and affordable cost-to-benefit; nonetheless, consider contrasting options such as IIT Ropar’s M.Tech in VLSI & Embedded Systems or IIITDM Kancheepuram’s M.Tech in VLSI Design for broader placements and higher average packages if you seek wider campus recruitment. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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