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Anu

Anu Krishna

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach 

1348 Answers | 256 Followers

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Answered on Dec 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Married for 5 years with a 4-month-old baby, but spark is missing. What do I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This isn't new to those couples who have just had a baby. Life changes a LOT once the baby arrives; everything starts to become about the baby. Your life revolves around the child and even routines start to sync with the baby.
The couple's primary role becomes one of mother and father and somewhere the role of wife and husband dulls away and before you know it can vanish causing small and big rifts within the marriage.
The key is to remember your roles as wife and husband and that in itself will keep the spark alive. Just because you have had the baby, does not mean you forget what it is to be with your husband/wife.

Firstly, try and see if you can get some help during the day so that household chores are taken care of and you have some time for yourself. Pamper yourself with whatever you want to; a cup of tea, reading a book, calling your friends over...if any female relative can actually baby-sit over the weekend for a few hours, then you and your husband can plan a small thing together. Now, it maybe difficult to choose the time as the baby is just 4 months old, but make do with whatever time that you have. Slowly, you will learn how to navigate things with the baby...it's a learning ground and nobody has prepared you for it BUT it gets better with time only because you get smarter at understanding how to utilize time better and make the most of it.
And whatever time that you spend, bring back the courtship days, your dating moments back and oh yes, choose your best dress/outfit...it makes a lot of difference to the mind and the way you see yourself. Be patient...it gets better...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)

Answered on Dec 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024
Relationship
Hi gurus, I am 24 yrs old girl, currently pursuing MBA from a middle class family. I have a 5 yr relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much. Don't want to loose him. Maybe he also love me. But the problem start few days ago when he suddenly confessed me that he visit red light area thrice at the first year of our relationship. From those initial days we are in a serious relationship and family involved in this. But we don't intimate but virtual intimacy was there. But this year in january we for first time got intimate and after 4 time of intimacy he confess me this that he physical one time and two time just visit their to see naked dance but failed due to some reason. Now He told me that he felt it will be cheating if he not told me this now. One side I am depressed and fear to loose him. He repetitively beg pardon from me and told that this was his peer pressure and now he mature enough to say no this.. Now he can't imagine his life without me. I don't want to loose him but can't forgive or forgot this. Now he repeatedly told me to marry him and proposed me romantically. He repeatedly want pardon from me . I love him very much that I want to forget all things and start from first again. But will it be right, if I easily forgive him than is he got much confidence to do this again?? I am depressed and confused. Pls help me . What will be right decision in this situation? Forgive him or not?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether you want to forgive him or not is your decision. But I would wonder if he has confessed all of it. The risk of carrying infections from visiting these places is heavy; so before jumping into any physical act with him, do suggest to him that he gets himself tested. He may oppose it, but be firm on it.
You love him and that's all okay...But is he in love with you OR is he wants to be with you because his family is involved as well?

What is a red flag is the fact that he was still visiting red light areas while he was in a relationship with you. Do you not want to know why? Do you not want to know what makes him beg for your forgiveness now? Till such time that you are satisfied and you can trust him again, do not act in a hurry.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)

Answered on Dec 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Wife obsessed with achievements, neglecting husband's feelings - Help!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
And what makes the husband not appreciate her achievements? Is he not happy with that? Does he feel insecure with her achievements?
Why is the husband suffering? What is making the husband helpless?

Kindly share more information by answering the questions above. If you or whoever you are writing on behalf of wants guidance, complete information is always important.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)

Answered on Nov 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024
Relationship
DEAR ANU KRISHANA MAM, HERE IS PROBLEM Max and Candy, both in the same master’s program but in different sections, navigate a complex dynamic. Candy, captivated by Max, tries for over a year to get his attention but is repeatedly ignored. Her feelings persist even as she enters a relationship with someone else. Despite occasional brief interactions and Candy posting about her feelings in a confession group, Max remains distant. After some months, Max proposes to Candy through WhatsApp during the holiday, sensing that Candy had been giving him green signals—gazing at him for minutes, sitting near him after making eye contact. However, despite these signs, Max’s advances remain unreciprocated. Candy took whole day to reply and said no and block the max, may because at that time she was in relationship and then she was broken up after some months. In one day before the farewell candy looks max with smile and during the farewell candy tries twice to make the eye contact in the farewell, but max broke it and when she confirms that max is looking at him she start dancing like nothing matters to him. After the farewell, Max wrote another latter to candy, where he apologizes and express her feelings, but candy this time also not reply, On the last day, max wait fro candy outside the examination hall and candy friend told candy and then her friend came to max and told him to leave in gestures, and candy denies to met despite they are going to part because their degree going to complete. Then max wrote another confession which he put anonymously in confession group, where he apologizes to candy and tell him that he will reapproach her after the years when he neary solve his issues because he is undergoing the treatment because of which he ignored candy, Later, Max made another post in a confession group, once again apologizing to Candy and noting that she hadn’t responded to him. He told her that he would approach her again after a year when his issues were resolved. Candy remained silent but updated her bio, adding the phrase "Nothing lasts forever," a line Max had used earlier. She also added a yen symbol beside it and kept it unchanged for months. When Max added the yen symbol to his bio after some time, Candy updated her bio again, mirroring Max's changes and adding more elements to match his profile. Max sent a follow request afterward, which Candy did not accept, but she kept her bio intact. Then, suddenly, to check if Candy had unblocked him on WhatsApp, Max sent her a random message. When he saw the double tick, he realized he wasn’t blocked anymore. He quickly deleted the message, knowing she might block him again soon. This suggests that Candy unblocked him despite knowing he might reach out in the future, and she continues to mirror his bio. Next day candy post a photo on profile looks like something coping mechanism. After two or three days, Max messaged Candy. Despite deleting his message, Candy didn’t block Max. Max wrote, “Can we be friends?” but Candy didn’t reply and block the max . However, she continued mirroring Max’s actions. WHAT CANDY ACTUALLY WANT AND WHY SHE PLAYING LIKE THIS, IS SHE STILL HAVE THE GENIUNE FEELINGS
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The characters' names can be Tom and Jerry instead of Candy and Max, because one is chasing and the other is running...Typical cat and mouse game.
So, Max can take a break from Candy, so that she can come to a decision on whether she likes Max or not. She really has to stop playing immature games and constantly testing Max who by the way will get fed up someday.
Kindly suggest that Max go silent and not communicate with Candy for a while and if she really likes him, let her make her first honest move and then Max can decide thereon.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)

Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My 17-year-old daughter spends 1.5 hours getting ready, what can I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The challenge is convincing someone who does not want to be convinced.
Probably, you can strike a deal with her; saying that she can set this right her way, but if it does not happen, then you see and work with a professional. That way she would have committed to it herself.
I would not label it an OCD until it is diagnosed by an expert but behavioral changes like these are usually related to emotional issues. It is best that an expert who understands the mind handle this.
Until such time that you take her to an expert:
- try not to talk about it repeatedly; this causes her to become conscious and this can increase the behavior
- take away soaps/body washes after her first shower
- observe any change in behavior - agitation/nervousness towards any incident during the day and if it results in her indulging in washing herself after that and note that down

Yes, it is necessary for this to be handled at the earliest and there's only a little that you can do personally as emotional triggers need the assistance of someone who understands it deeply and then guides the person accordingly to not just change the behavior but eliminate the cause behind it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)

Answered on Nov 27, 2024

Answered on Nov 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
30-year-old man asks if it was wrong to ask a 25-year-old woman on an arranged marriage platform about her body count
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Things have definitely changed in the dating and marriage scene from what it was even 20 or 10 years back...
But hey, I still have my reservations on whether women are comfortable answering very intimate questions...do you not think that a question on body count can be reserved to a future meeting maybe when the two of you show interest in each other and when transparency is vital to further the connection?
Right on Day 1, what is the necessity to jump about and get curious about it? Maybe if someone asked you, you would be okay with it but not everyone or every woman is going to be comfortable with it.
When you pay attention to what the other person wants and likes, there are minimal chances of you slipping up and irking them; where is the question then to take care of legal stuff, recording etc...
Genuinely be there with the other person in a conversation and when the rapport is built, the conversation flows effortlessly and you will start to enjoy it. Start to get curious about who they are as people rather than how many people they have slept with...This should help you!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Nov 25, 2024 | Answered on Dec 02, 2024
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Thank you very much for the Reply, Dear Anu Ma'am. I greatly appreciate you taking out some of your Valuable time for advising me. But I still have something to follow up, with respect to your Answer. Please don't mind the Legality part of my Question, I was overthinking due to my bad experience. But personally, the Sexual History of a Prospective Partner, could be a Deal Breaker for me. As I have already mentioned, I'm a Virgin & I'd prefer to get Married to a Woman who's Virgin as well. If I get along quite well with any prospective match & after getting emotionally connected with her, if I come to know that she's not Virgin or has a Body Count of more than 1, I'd be greatly disappointed & may not go ahead with the Relationship Whole-heartedly, even if we both get along very well with each other on all other aspects, except Sexuality, which is a very sensitive matter to me, personally. At that point, I'd be in a bigger Dilemma, if I go ahead & Marry her, I'd be insecure about her Sexual Past. If I'd have to Break-up with her, I'd feel the guilt & regret of wasting a lot of time (both her & mine) on something which wasn't meant to be. I had a similar bad experience in the Past, hence I prefer to clarify on all the Deal Breakers, at the initial stage itself to avoid wasting the time & effort of 2 People & Families involved. Please advise me, whether my approach is Right or not? How do ask a Woman about her Sexual History, in the initial stage of our match-making & in a way that wouldn't offend her but prompt her to give me a Genuine & Honest Answer? And how do I ensure that she is being Honest with me, as these days, it seems to be quite common for Urban Young Women to have a High Body Count, before Marriage?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
So, if that is one of your core requirements that she either be a virgin or not have a body count of more than 1, well, I respect it.
But, how exactly are you going to find this information without actually offending the other person? Simple, you actually be honest and tell them that this is important to you; say it in a manner which is not offensive or questioning their integrity. So, it's about you dropping all your defenses and going in literally being vulnerable. Once you do that, the other person sees your genuine intent which is not to offend them BUT to state your requirement.
Of course, be aware that this may work at times and not always. So, assess who you are meeting with and then use this approach. Even after that, how are you going to be sure that they are telling you the truth? I guess, using the heart over mind will go better here.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)

Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Relationship
Dear Anu Krishna, I'm 48 married with 2 kids daughter in 10th and son in 5th. Wife works as a VP in a large firm. Since post COVID there has been almost no intimacy. I tried to talk to her and she says that I'm a sex maniac. I said once in six months at least she says not interested. She s fit in good health exercises and all tests are ok. Last year my friend's wife informed me about their private WhatsApp messages and I was shocked. We go on tours and trips and functions and everything externally is normal. I buy her gifts and we go out to restaurants etc. Everything except intimacy. I've tried to talk about 50 times but she doesn't want to talk not seek any help. Infact the signs of this started from 2016. She's 43 now. I m thinking of now seperating from her. Im really fed up. Nothing is working, and she's adamant. I've pulled on for kids but maybe I can be together for a few more years. I can't live with her forever. You generally ask people to get help and talk etc which is done and tried and yet no solution. Can you agree for once that there is a genuine case to not continue It's my life I know but I think I'm 100% right and that i have hit the end of the road. Inhold you in high regard hence writing to you Sameer
Ans: Dear Sachin,
Thank you for your kind and respectful acknowledgement of me.
Now,
You wrote:
Last year my friend's wife informed me about their private WhatsApp messages and I was shocked. - What was shocking? You have not shared this!

Lack of interest in sex can be due to:
- change in hormones
- boredom in the bedroom routine
- lack of intimacy outside the bedroom

Now, what I must agree on is something that we can keep aside, yeah? My job is to try and guide people to put things together of course, if that's what they want. You seem to have already believed that nothing can work; how can anyone guide you? When you claim that you nothing is working, I will still ask you, "How do you know that you have tried everything to know that nothing is working?"

Also, if you have decided to separate, what more can I suggest? You feel that you are 100% right, BUT you know what: If you actually were 100% right, you would not be here checking in with me...Just playing the mirror here for you.
I still would suggest that you work on your marriage; communicate and rebuild...it's a long path BUT the fruits of it can be amazing!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)

Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 38 and my life is falling apart – how do I fix it?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure you see a pattern in your wife's actions. At the risk of sounding judgemental, I will say: She does like to get her way in most things.
How else do you explain that when she is stressed keep them away and when she needs, she wants them back?
How can you expect to have support from your side of the family when you two decided to alienate them?
How does it work when she decided to stay back with her family with absolutely no regard that you as father will want to be close to your daughter?
How do you explain that they secretly conspire to take your daughter away from you if you involve your family?

Do you not see the immaturity of how they have very systematically alienated you from your family and your daughter?

To be able to put things together, your wife really needs to get away from her parents. They seem to hold the strings and have no qualms about spoiling their daughter's life...Bring her out of that family and move to a location that is not easily accessible to them; as in maybe back abroad, so they are not in and out of your home. Start building your relationship with your wife by being a hands-on father and that may also give her an idea as to the person that you are. You must be appreciated for the person that you are...Give this a shot!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)

Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024
Relationship
Hello Anu I ma married man with age of 54 & my wife is 52 years. We are married since 30 years and we are not having good sexual relationship. She is more keen but i have some issues with my health. From the beginning I have disorders and do even ejaculate very soon. Because of this our relations are not that good. Now we are on the verge of separation but due to childrens who are quire grown up and settled in their life they are strictly against this decision of ours. My wife wants divorce from me and wants to settle down with someone else and at present there is no such person in her life. I also want divorce but of the last thought. How can I regain my sexual life again please let me know.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's really sad all the years of togetherness becomes nothing in front of physical relationships.
My suggestion would be to work on whatever is coming in between the two of you; which means what is stopping you from having a good sex life must be addressed.
It could be simple medical treatment or mind techniques to work on these challenges. Divorce in my opinion in your case, seems to be an impulsive move taken in frustration. Think it through and calmly address the main issue and work at it. Request your wife also to be a part of this. Do reconsider your decision to separate by trying to work out the differences. Even after that if things persist, then you know what you want to do. But at least give it a try...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)
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