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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |368 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My friend is in a foreign country for work. She has gone there with the support of a man who helped her getting the job. He's harassing her sexually. She has been keeping her distance and warned him. She cannot take any action as her work future depends on him. She's alone there and doesnt know what to do. Help me with the answer

Ans: encourage her to document every incident meticulously. Keeping a detailed record will be crucial if she decides to take any action later. She should also reach out to trusted colleagues or friends for support, even if they are back home. Sometimes just knowing someone is aware of her situation can be comforting.

Additionally, it's important for her to explore any available resources within her company or local community. Many organizations have HR departments or designated individuals to handle such complaints confidentially. If that's not an option, she might find support through local women's shelters, expatriate communities, or even online forums where she can connect with others who might have faced similar situations.

Encourage her to prioritize her safety. If she feels threatened or in immediate danger, seeking help from local authorities or emergency services is crucial. Her well-being is more important than any job.

Finally, she should be reminded that she's not alone and that there are people who care about her and are willing to help. It might be beneficial for her to seek professional counseling to help her cope with the emotional toll of this experience.

Your support and encouragement can make a significant difference for her during this difficult time.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 26, 2023Hindi
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my Friend is in touch with a girl since last 13 years, she is 12 years younger to him. They met at common friend's place and my friend start loving her. At the time of their meeting, my friend was married and she was unmarried, but was in relationship with another guy. after sometime, girl got married with his boyfriend with the help of my friend only. he got hurt but somehow helped her in getting married with the boy of her choice after some time the girl got divorced and my friend provided her emotional support she require to recover from this setback. over the period, she start demanding lot of stuff from my friend, like phones, watches, clothes, gold etc. even she call him, if want to eats anything from outside. but other hand she ignoring him, when she is with her friends and start behaving like stranger and gives reasons like, you are too old for her company, what her friend think of her etc. my friend is attached emotionally with her very much and dancing on her tunes. my friends shares everything with me and i know, he would go mad, if she even stop talkin with him. many a times, i tried to discuss this with my friend, but he is in total control of her. he told me, i would continue to help her, so she would keep talking with him. they never got physical. Even i had discussed this with girl, why you are doing such thing with my friend, every time she reply, she demanding such things with capacity of his friend. he (my friend) can deny, if he doesn't want to help me, i have lot of choices. she is also working and earning fairly. now i am in dilemma, how to help my friend.
Ans: Have you heard the saying, you can walk a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink? Your friend knows he is being taken advantage of — but he chooses to continue in the same vein. You can try to stage an intervention where several of his loved ones come together, sit him down and explain that this toxic woman should be cut our of his life and why. But ultimately, unless he decides to smarten up, no one can help him.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |362 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2024

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Relationship
hi i want to help my friend so need guidance from you . she had an affair with unmarried guy he use to care for her and always stood at her toes for everything without fail . but for some time he started giving excises for not picking call and replying messages , but kept on managing relationship . like talking in late hrs calling as and when but not in that way as in starting of the relation. meeting her . they had fights often when she saw few calls coming on his phone he diverted her like she is my didi or have some work and bla bla . these become fights of daily . now he started avoiding her messages replying according to his convenient time . or not picking call over night when asked he says was sleeping or busy . And not telling exactly where he was is he engaged somewhere els . I told my friend to drag herself out of these thing but she is v upset .due to all this . its been 2 years only . What should she do
Ans: Dear Minu,

You were right in advising her to get herself out of this relationship; it sounds exhausting trying to keep track of where he is, what he is doing and why is he acting this way. It is unfair, but sometimes people just fall out of love; they change and there is nothing one can do about it. The best thing to do in this situation is to slowly get yourself out of this and move on. It is easier said than done, but unfortunately, this is the only advice I can give.

If she is desperate to hold on to him, she can confront him and try to sit him down for a clear and open discussion. But that rarely works. Again, it's unfortunate, but it happens time and again.

I am glad to see you standing by your friend during this time. I am not sure how much you can help her with suggestions, because people in love rarely tend to listen to reason, but even being there for her is plenty helpful. Hope you can help your friend through this rough patch.

Best Wishes.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam plz help me to solve my problem , I was in relation with a guy I met him in office , and he is good boy because he helped me alot in my tasks , slowly I got attracted to him , and the attraction turns into liking ... I did not refused what he says I have to do it ..that time I was engaged ...and he wants me to meet him privately and refused that sir I am engaged I can't do this ..but he threatens if you will not come i will tell to your fiance and it will affect to your marriage ..I am agreeing what he says and he forced me to do this ..now I am married and my husband is abroad ..now he threating and harrassing me for s*x ...he says he will tell your husband ..I am in so much of stress plz help me mam to get rid of this situation what should I do if he tells my husband ..he will ruin my life and can't involve my parents they are both patient ...he is threating me so much if I tell to police they will involve my parents as well which I don't want ...I blocked him from all the social media but he kept messaging because I am getting notification from blocked messages ..and he keep threating me
Ans: The first thing you should do is come clean to your husband. Spare him the sordid details and just tell him this ex-boyfriend is trying to stir up trouble for you both. How long do you want to remain so stressed? Tell him and end the matter once and for all. I hope he has the good sense to accept your past. And then ignore this idiot, period. Once your husband knows, his game is up. With your husband’s support you may even consider filing a police complaint to teach him a lesson.

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Latest Questions
Pushpa

Pushpa R  |11 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2024

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Health
I am a diabetic with HbA1C 7.4. I feel very sleepy after the breakfast, which I take around 10-10:30 AM. Also, I feel not so fresh when I get up in the morning. Infact getting up in the morning is a struggle. I generally sleep around 11 PM. How to avoid this sluggishness during the day. I do regular exercise Yoga or Walk for 30 min atleast 5 times a week. I have a feeling that I am becoming hypoglycemic during the night and that is what causing this sleepiness during the day. Quality of night sleep is reasonably ok. However, I get once during the night for urination. Please advise on my condition.
Ans: Feeling sleepy after breakfast and struggling to wake up in the morning can be linked to several factors, especially in diabetics. Here are some insights and tips to help manage your symptoms:

Possible Nocturnal Hypoglycemia: If your blood sugar drops during the night, it can affect the quality of your sleep and lead to morning sluggishness. You could try having a glass of milk before bed to help maintain blood sugar levels overnight. Consult your doctor to monitor glucose levels more closely.

Post-Breakfast Sleepiness: The type of breakfast you have might be causing a blood sugar spike, followed by a crash. Opt for a balanced meal with complex carbs, protein, and fiber to prevent rapid sugar fluctuations. Avoid sugary or processed foods that can cause drowsiness.

Sleep Quality and Schedule: Although you sleep around 11 PM, if your sleep quality is compromised (like waking up for urination), it may not be fully restorative. Try to reduce fluid intake an hour before bed, and consult a healthcare professional to address frequent urination.

Morning Exercise: Doing yoga or walking earlier in the day, particularly in the morning, can boost your energy levels and reduce daytime sluggishness.

Check with a Doctor: It’s important to discuss the possibility of hypoglycemia and other metabolic factors with your doctor, especially considering your diabetes and HbA1C levels. Adjusting your medication, diet, or routine may be necessary.

Combining balanced meals, consistent exercise, and good sleep hygiene should help reduce the sluggishness you're experiencing during the day.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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