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My boyfriend and I had a conversation and told me he will be ready in 2 years before he can get married, that for next year he can come see my parents and maybe next year start thinking about marriage, and he won’t ever want to tie me down if I ever see someone who is ready and I don’t go that I can keep my options open doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me or wants to date someone else but to avoid the talk that he kept me in a relationship for so long

My boyfriend did not tell me that he met his ex at a wedding. I found out through pictures posted by a mutual friend. When I asked him, he said he didn’t want to upset me. But they were laughing and chilling at the wedding. Honestly, I feel betrayed, like he was cheating on me. If he was innocent, and there was nothing going on between them, why did he hide it? I am not able to trust him since I found out and it is bothering me.

My husband faked our marriage to marry my cousin. She was 17 when we got engaged and he knew her parents wouldn't approve of their relationship. After marriage he convinced her parents to let her stay with us in Pune. It was only recently I found them cheating on me. He apologised and said he never loved me, that he only married me to stay close to her. I feel used and devastated. How do I deal with this betrayal from both my husband and my cousin?

Hi, I am 32M. I never had any relationships in the past...One sided was there but I overcame it and focused on my work. One day in gym i came across a girl 23F, we connected on insta and started chatting. Eventually we fell in love, I know this doesn’t sound good due to the age gap. We dated, had good times and emotionally connected with each other a lot. Now while discussing something, she revealed that she is not a virgin. There was a guy in her society she met around 3 years back (when she was 19) and she was in one sided love with him. They never confessed their love to each other. And she is not in touch with him anymore it was long back. Also she said she had made out with another guy whom she met 1 month back during her classes, prior to meeting me. I was really hurt to listen all these. Like how all these things she is doing at this age. I accepted her and then we had good 2 months again. After 2 months, I got to know she was following the first guy on insta. When confronted she said she used to like to see him and his girlfriend together. She was really not in touch with the guy but she was just following him. It was hurtful to me. We had a big fight on this. They used to share intimate pics with each other too. After forcing her to tell everything about her past, she told that she used to flirt with lot of boys. First in junior college with best friend she shared intimate pics, then met with the guy she lost virginity with, then she met another friend she shared pics with. Then in last year, in classes she shared pics with friend, then again with someone and then she had a crush on some guy with whom she made out. She was connected with them on insta. Like no talks but she was following them and they followed her too. There were almost 6-7 guys she used to talk as friend and has shared intimate pics and she called it flirting. I was shocked to hear all these. I am still shocked. This is out of my mind. It is very difficult to accept that few boys have intimate pics of my girlfriend. She has been very very loyal to me since we are together. She never got this kind of love in her life. She is really super happy in this relationship. We are emotionally connected a lot. I have treated her like a child and I love her a lot. She comes from a good family. She says she has been in wrong circle and all her friends are like this only. She cried a lot and she regrets it deeply like what she has done and she wants to get out of all these. But if feel, a persons character never changes. There will be so cold moments in relationships In future, will she be able to manage herself and stay honest. I really doubt a lot. She is really good at heart like a family girl but her past is really really terrible I feel. I feel, even though I love her will I be able to accept her past. Do I deserve this ? Do my family deserve this ? But again I think of risking it all because she is really invested in this relationship and I feel very bad to break her heart. I come from a very traditional background and believe in sacred and pure form of love. But I feel I got trapped in something which I can’t leave and can’t have whole heartedly. I am not able to focus on my work and everything. It’s hurting me a lot. Should I accept her ac she is or moving on will be better for both of us, even though it might break her heart.

I love a girl but she does not love me what should I do

Me and my boyfriend are in a relationship for 6 yrs and my parents (i.e.,girls side) accepted it will his family will accept and will our relationship between us will be good as I am a doctor and he is a businessman and we r having lot of fights?

Im currently meeting a girl for a arranged marriage. I have met her around 4 times. She doesnt talk that much. Im not that attracted to her. But our families r in rush to get married. Saying our ages are running out. Im 35 yrs old. The girl looks uninterested i feel. And im also in 2 minds should i go ahead or no. Or i will not get anyone. What should i do .

Hi Sir, How can I get in touch with you regarding my son for counseling

I am in a relationship since 7 years. I used to help her monthly with money for her expenditures, as her earnings are less. I gave money everytime she had family problems. Took her to vacations , made her feel special and did everything a man can to her love. Now since 8 months I have financial problems and not able to give her money. Her situation is bad and she barely manages her expenditures. She has stopped talking to me now after she asking many times for money , I didn't have hence could not give her. Should I continue this relationship of me loving her? She now even denies now that she doesn't love me . What shud I do, I deeply love her . We r in our 40s.

Mam, I am in relationship with one girl since 2.5 year and my girlfriend told about our relationship to her mom. Every positive point of mine which told by my girlfriend to her mom but every point taken negetivly and denied to her.. Move on from relationship... Leave this relationship. He is not good boy.. The problem of her mother is the caste as well as I am Divorcee person and she is unmarried. We love to each other and want to marry. Due to her mother oppose, she is nervousness totally or told that she has no any idea what to do... How to do.. She is not sure she is convince to her family or not. She told that I don't know how much time she can servive to convince her family. Totally her mind felt like empty, dumb, nervousness. Her father not know about our relationship. When this type moment occurs she behave that sometime it is agree to make efforts for convince and sometime when she is nervousness that time she told that i can not convince and to do the breakup because she is not want to go against the her mom and family. But she told that also she want to marry with me. What should I do?

I'm a software engineer from Bangalore. I am 28, and I am dating my girlfriend who is a Punjabi for four years now. She comes from a modern family, eats non veg and has a carefree lifestyle. She suggests we go for a live-in relationship, but my conservative Tamil parents strongly disapprove. They feel our cultures and lifestyle don't match and we should not hurt each others' emotions and families. Can a live-in relationship affect our future? What should I do?

I am drained, but also deep in love with someone I met online. I was dating this guy I met on Aisle for nearly 10 months. I am 23, he is 29. We had this beautiful connection but every few weeks he would withdraw, and stop replying. When I confronted he just said he felt 'overwhelmed so he took a break. I felt heartbroken. I started feeling as if I overtexted him. After a few days of silence, he said 'Sorry. I miss you. Are you free to talk?' We immediately reconciled and everything went back to normal for few months. Two weeks ago, he said he is going out with friends. He has been posting pics on social media but has been avoiding me. I haven't texted him too because I am scared he will say something to break my heart. What is this avoidant behaviour? Do you think he will break up with me soon? How long will this continue till things become normal?

My ex and I broke up mutually after dating for 3 years. We stayed in touch casually on WhatsApp. He told me he got a new job in Bangalore and signed up for a dating app. I didn't react. A few months ago, I found out that he's getting arranged-married. I congratulated him casually. Since then, he has been sending me long, emotional texts at night saying how much he misses me, how he misses my food, hugs, how I once used to be his home, safe place. I feel confused and emotionally triggered again. I do have feelings for him, but I am not sure if this is the right time to reconsider, especially since there is another girl in his life right now. He said wanted to talk to me and find out if there is hope. If I respond, I feel like I am emotionally cheating on his fiancee. I feel bad and long for our old days. But my roommate says I should block him immediately. I feel selfish wanting him back. I also miss his companionship. Honestly after our break up, I haven't been able to date again. But is it too late now? Or is this destiny's way of correcting my mistake? I am 32, he is 34.

Hi I am 34 year old male and want to settle down but also in doubt that the marriage will take my independence. I started looking for bride with arrange marriage option. I am taking to a girl for last 3-4 months 2 time a week. I never had any serious relationship before and don't know what exactly to lookout in marriage. The girl I am seeing has average looks and physique but she okay with conversation and little shy and majority of the conversation I have only started. Her weight or BMI is very low around 19 and my BMI is overweight above 26. There is different in 45-50 kgs in weight. Am I working too much about physical appearance and should I interact with other prospects also. I have meet with her family along with my parent two times and little worried that more meeting will led to frustration if marriage didn't materialize. I have also left my current job and taking some break before joining new one. Will this career break will impact my marriage prospects. Also sometimes I feel that I may have set my standards very high as I am well educated from good institute and I can explore many options before choosing one. Is this leading me to non commitment as I may find some fault to not commit to marriage.

Hi Shalini! While travelling from city A to city B in India, I met this young girl. I say young because I am 44 and single. She seemed much younger. It was basically on the airport bus from the airport to city center. She was the one to initiate conversation and once it started, 2 hrs just went by in a breeze. I really enjoyed the conversation. It seemed like a proper date! :D So, while boarding off the bus, I asked her if she would join me and my friends (2 boys) for a get together the next day. (I was in the city only for a very short time). She said shez fine with it and exchanged nos. But next day she very politely refused to meet me/us. She also said 'next time'. I agreed and thanked her. That's it. No more interaction. She also seemed to like my reply as she put a heart on it. However, later in the day she blocked me on whatsapp! :D Then a couple of days later, I sent her a text/SMS that it was a nice surprise to see me blocked on whatsapp! She read it and never replied. Issue is I think I have fallen for her and would like to at least squeeze 1 date with her. What do I do now? I don't think messaging her on SMS is cool as she never responded the last time. How do I let her know that I want to meet her without any stress for her. Shez in Bangalore.

My parents were approaching on shaadi.com by the guys family. They spoke and thiught it was compatible our kundlis matched. He initated conversation with me, we called, he met my mum and brother. Then we spoke a little here and there, but he started giving 1 message a day and i knew he had a job interview so i said ill let you focus on the interview let me know how it goes we'll catch up and oragnise or meet once its done. And now its week a week and he hasnt popped up. I dont know what to do.

Hello Ms Shalini. I have been reading your columns. I am 52, an HR professional, divorced in 2022, after 26 years of marriage. My kids are grown up and settled abroad. Now I'm alone, and honestly, I feel like I have missed out on life. I want to experience love again, but I dont know where and how to begin. Honestly, i dont want to sound or look desperate and call for attention. A female friend told me to get on an app. It's awkward to create a profile for a date. I am not looking for a fling. I don't want desperate men either. I want good companionship. Where do I begin?

I am 33, female, living and working in Bangalore. My parents are constantly asking me to settle down in an arranged marriage. I was in a serious relationship but the boy cheated me for a rich girl so I have trust issues. The people I meet for marriage either on apps or through friends don't want commitment. My mom is scared that if I don't marry soon, society will label me as old and picky. I don't want to marry for the heck of it. Is it even possible to find someone serious online or should I rely on my parents to find a suitable guy?

Hi Mam, I am 28 years old independent girl. I and my bf want to marry each other and we are in relationship for 4 years but I know him from school time( almost 13-14 years), but problem is he is come from Muslim family and I am Hindu. I told my parents about him but they are not agree, they are saying if boys are from any caste they don't have any problem with caste but won't agree for inter religion marriage, but my bf ready to convert to hinduism, he is more religious than average Hindu boys, we love each other so much and can't live without each other, how can I convince my parents? Please help me

I am almost 32 year old I may get married by arrange marriage but a few guys in my office are approaching me and they are younger to me than 6-7 years.They know I am older than them and it doesn't matter to them.What should I do I am not sure if they want casual relationship just for funor are they serious regarding me.

Hi Shalini ji I was in a serious relationship for 6 years with a boy whom I met on the 1st day of my college. He was from a different caste. Hence when my parents got to know they disapproved of it very strictly so I knew it wasnt going to work that easily. After sometime they started asking to get married. It was an ultimate pressure while we both were preparing for some government exams. I went through utter confusion and I got stuck between trying to study and at the same time thinking about my future with him. I was pressurised by my family including my brother and parents to leave him. Meanwhile I decided to not to carry it forward because I couldn't leave my parents for whole life to be with him because it was either him or my family. I lost all the focus towards my studies due to this decision and also started talking to some other boy (he was from my own caste accidently) whom I met accidentally at an exam centre for comfort. I got a brief moments of happiness with him. I confide my pain in him. Suddenly something happened in my family ,between my parents. And my mother started acting like you can choose your own partner for life because somehow she lost trust on my father. She even was comfortable with my brother's marriage with the one whom he loves. Now I feel completely betrayed because for them I left love of my life and got into another relationship with the boy I met at an exam center ( which now I feel was a hasty decision as I felt alone and depressed). Now no one talks about my real love and what i think about it for the future. I am in a complete state of repentance. I feel like I betrayed him. Now when i think of getting back to him I hesitate a lot because I think that I took a wrong decision due to the pressure and under stress. The person I am with now, I feel is not what I wanted as a partner and I feel that he is not mentally supportive. I wnat to leave him as well. What should I do now to be happy?

I was in a 5-year relationship with a man I met online. We were really close and knew each other well but since last year things have been starting to feel off. We used to live in briefly and one day he changed his phone's password and became really secretive with his phone. I didn't bring it up because I didn't want to seem paranoid, but later I found out through his friend's social media that he was seeing someone else. I felt betrayed. It broke my trust, and I felt hurt. I've slowly begun to second guess every relationship since then. He didn't even apologise, but behaves like everything is normal. I have shifted to a new city but something inside me feels broken. How do I move on and feel normal again?

I am a 42-year-old woman from Mumbai. I got divorced in 2023 after a 14-year marriage. I work as a school teacher and have two teenage children who live with me. All these years, my life revolved around my family. But now that I am on my own, I feel emotionally drained and unsure of who I am outside the role of wife and mother. I want to rebuild myself, I want to feel loved and happy. I don't know if I am ready for a relationship but I want to date and find out how it feels. But I am also scared. Is it too late? Should I wait for some more time? How to take the first step?

Hi, I am 41, divorced and single. I am not looking for marriage, but I need a companion. Until a few weeks ago, I was talking to someone almost every day for two weeks. She was a banker, same age as mine. We connected so well, shared our stories, even made plans to meet... and then she just disappeared. No text, nothing. Her number is not reachable. It left me confused and kind of questioning myself. Is this normal? I don't know how to deal with this.

Hi Ms Shalini. I have been using dating apps for 3 years now. I have noticed that after a while, everything starts to feel repetitive. The same conversations, silly jokes and the same dead ends. What can I do to break this pattern and find something meaningful?

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I had a relationship of 3 years. It was going good , we have a battle for not talking as I as busy in my hectic schedule of job. but then also she had done the effort to not to give up in relationship. But at the mid of job only suddenly I get to know she had a relationship earlier also of 3 yrs after knowing this it was completely a disaster for me and she had a physical relationship with him. Which is like shivering for me that day and upto the week even I am not able to focus on the things as I loved her too. As I love her I have scolded her so much to not to tell before.Now I am at a stage where I had some memories I was being a good connection either it is of intimacy emotions . But the things she has gone is killing me though I love her it is having a different feeling What to do now.

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Hi, Ma'am, i start talking with guy through online. At first he was very good, gentle person. Later i found out his behavior something change. His has anger issue, mental issue. So i found this is toxic relationship. I stop replying. I even said to move on. But now he starts threatened me as he will suicide, also blackmail me with my pic . He has anger issues. I dont know what will happen next. I need a suggestion. Thank you

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I am 23 year old. One of my ex who is married now told me about a job opportunity in his company where I applied and got selected he became my boss. He was recently married and was staying alone in Bangalore. He made alot of things easier for me, even arranged flight tickets, hotels for me from company's expenses. From first day I reached Mumbai he kept on saying me he loves me and has no intimacy with his wife it was a forced marriage and he can't live without me he came to check me at my hotel and he tried kissing me and when I resisted he said he has never touched his wife, it was his dream to loose his virginity with me only once he wants to have sex with me it was his dream I am his first love he can never be happy with that lady but this one moment will be enough to keep him happy and healthy convinced me to the level I gave up and we had sex that day. Later that day I got to know that he had clicked pictures of whatever happened. When I confronted him he said whenever he will miss me he will see this. I was like u did dis without my knowledge it's wrong without my permission. I left that company and Mumbai immediately in few days. I feel really bad, how I got into his words although I was single but I have a guilty of helping him in cheating his wife. Now he is having 2 children and a very happy mai life and I still keep blaming myself for having a thing with a married man and immense guilty for helping him cheating his wife. I have lost my mental peace. Is it all my fault??? It been 5 years since this things happened. I am happily married now and have no contact with that man but is it correct myself for it. Was it completely my fault. Have i cheated his wife or i myself got cheated by a liar?

I was in a 3 year rls with my ex boyfriend. During the rls, he cheated on me with another girl and then after some time, came back to me. He's so toxic and I don't want to live with him anymore but he threatens me so much, calls me everyday and blackmails me. I cry everyday because of him and I can't even tell my dad about it coz there is some family situation which isn't stable rn. Please help me and tell me a solution to get rid of this mess once and for all.

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