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Shalini Singh
Dating Coach
156 Answers | 50 FollowersFollow
Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Answered on May 14, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2025
Hi Mam, I am 28 years old independent girl. I and my bf want to marry each other and we are in relationship for 4 years but I know him from school time( almost 13-14 years), but problem is he is come from Muslim family and I am Hindu. I told my parents about him but they are not agree, they are saying if boys are from any caste they don't have any problem with caste but won't agree for inter religion marriage, but my bf ready to convert to hinduism, he is more religious than average Hindu boys, we love each other so much and can't live without each other, how can I convince my parents? Please help me
Ans: in my view you have 2 choices
(1) give in to what parents are saying and forget your current friend
or
(2) get your friend to meet parents and give it a year or so - let parents see for themselves how wonderful he is as you have shared
wishing you the best.
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(1) give in to what parents are saying and forget your current friend
or
(2) get your friend to meet parents and give it a year or so - let parents see for themselves how wonderful he is as you have shared
wishing you the best.
Answered on May 13, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - May 03, 2025
I am almost 32 year old I may get married by arrange marriage but a few guys in my office are approaching me and they are younger to me than 6-7 years.They know I am older than them and it doesn't matter to them.What should I do I am not sure if they want casual relationship just for funor are they serious regarding me.
Ans: Ask them if they are looking for something casual or something serious - till you do not ask you will not know.
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Answered on May 13, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2025
Hi Shalini ji
I was in a serious relationship for 6 years with a boy whom I met on the 1st day of my college. He was from a different caste. Hence when my parents got to know they disapproved of it very strictly so I knew it wasnt going to work that easily. After sometime they started asking to get married. It was an ultimate pressure while we both were preparing for some government exams. I went through utter confusion and I got stuck between trying to study and at the same time thinking about my future with him. I was pressurised by my family including my brother and parents to leave him. Meanwhile I decided to not to carry it forward because I couldn't leave my parents for whole life to be with him because it was either him or my family. I lost all the focus towards my studies due to this decision and also started talking to some other boy (he was from my own caste accidently) whom I met accidentally at an exam centre for comfort. I got a brief moments of happiness with him. I confide my pain in him. Suddenly something happened in my family ,between my parents. And my mother started acting like you can choose your own partner for life because somehow she lost trust on my father. She even was comfortable with my brother's marriage with the one whom he loves. Now I feel completely betrayed because for them I left love of my life and got into another relationship with the boy I met at an exam center ( which now I feel was a hasty decision as I felt alone and depressed). Now no one talks about my real love and what i think about it for the future. I am in a complete state of repentance. I feel like I betrayed him. Now when i think of getting back to him I hesitate a lot because I think that I took a wrong decision due to the pressure and under stress. The person I am with now, I feel is not what I wanted as a partner and I feel that he is not mentally supportive. I wnat to leave him as well. What should I do now to be happy?
Ans: 1. Happiness is in your hand
2. You sound like an adult, over 21 and someone who knows what is right and what is not - so take action
3. If you are not happy in your current relationship, come out of it.
4. If you wish to reconnect with your earlier partner do so, but keep in mind he may not be single and if he is he will not be how you knew him, as in he will come with his own experience of life.
all the best.
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2. You sound like an adult, over 21 and someone who knows what is right and what is not - so take action
3. If you are not happy in your current relationship, come out of it.
4. If you wish to reconnect with your earlier partner do so, but keep in mind he may not be single and if he is he will not be how you knew him, as in he will come with his own experience of life.
all the best.
Answered on May 09, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
I was in a 5-year relationship with a man I met online. We were really close and knew each other well but since last year things have been starting to feel off. We used to live in briefly and one day he changed his phone's password and became really secretive with his phone. I didn't bring it up because I didn't want to seem paranoid, but later I found out through his friend's social media that he was seeing someone else. I felt betrayed. It broke my trust, and I felt hurt. I've slowly begun to second guess every relationship since then. He didn't even apologise, but behaves like everything is normal. I have shifted to a new city but something inside me feels broken. How do I move on and feel normal again?
Ans: break ups are not fun. breaking of trust is terrible be it from anyone and more so from someone you love. it is good to hear you moved out of this relationship....and now quoting you "I've slowly begun to second guess every relationship since then" is what you need to stop doing...it is not their fault on what you went through. Be smart and careful as you date. All the best.
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Answered on May 09, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
I am a 42-year-old woman from Mumbai. I got divorced in 2023 after a 14-year marriage. I work as a school teacher and have two teenage children who live with me. All these years, my life revolved around my family. But now that I am on my own, I feel emotionally drained and unsure of who I am outside the role of wife and mother. I want to rebuild myself, I want to feel loved and happy. I don't know if I am ready for a relationship but I want to date and find out how it feels. But I am also scared. Is it too late? Should I wait for some more time? How to take the first step?
Ans: to answer your question - love can be found at any age and more than once. The first step is to feel good and confident about yourself and know you are worth every bit. hope this helps.
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Answered on May 09, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Hi, I am 41, divorced and single. I am not looking for marriage, but I need a companion. Until a few weeks ago, I was talking to someone almost every day for two weeks. She was a banker, same age as mine. We connected so well, shared our stories, even made plans to meet... and then she just disappeared. No text, nothing. Her number is not reachable. It left me confused and kind of questioning myself. Is this normal? I don't know how to deal with this.
Ans: Yes, it is normal to ghost. We do recommend not to invest in texting till you do not meet a few time - which means not texting more than 5 minutes in a day if at all. Also keep in mind she could be engaging with more than one person at a given time and found her person which should be fair and fine.
Dont take it to heart and look for someone compatible. All the best
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Dont take it to heart and look for someone compatible. All the best
Answered on May 09, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Hi Ms Shalini. I have been using dating apps for 3 years now. I have noticed that after a while, everything starts to feel repetitive. The same conversations, silly jokes and the same dead ends. What can I do to break this pattern and find something meaningful?
Ans: Do not put in efforts and time in getting to know the person unless you have met a few times. google on blogs written by me - I do write on how to date....
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Answered on Mar 21, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi
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Should I Call Off My Wedding Due to My Fiancee's Past?
Ans: 1. Should you trust her as a person - going by what she has said, you should as she has been honest and shared everything with you
2. And if she says she does not have any regrets, more power to her - how will having regrets and feeling guilty justify.
3. We all make mistakes and she did what she did as she was 'single' she did not cheat anyone
4. As for you wanting to marry her or not is your decision...remember you both need to invest in the relationship daily and cannot/should not bring up the past even in disagreements - this is important for you to understand.
All the best in whatever decision you make.
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2. And if she says she does not have any regrets, more power to her - how will having regrets and feeling guilty justify.
3. We all make mistakes and she did what she did as she was 'single' she did not cheat anyone
4. As for you wanting to marry her or not is your decision...remember you both need to invest in the relationship daily and cannot/should not bring up the past even in disagreements - this is important for you to understand.
All the best in whatever decision you make.
Answered on Mar 09, 2025
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24-Year-Old Mumbai Woman Asks: Should I Leave My 28-Year-Old Accusatory Boyfriend?
Ans: you are in duress. a relationship as defined by you is not worth being in one. please break off, block him from all our touchpoints - social media/ phone etc...if need be change your phone number. heal yourself, focus on your self, become financially independent, feel good about yourself before you find your person.
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Answered on Feb 26, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2024Hindi
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Answered on Feb 26, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2025Hindi
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Turning 31 and Never Been in a Relationship: Feeling Left Out and Unprepared for Marriage - Priyanka's Story
Ans: Hello Priyanka - Indian parents tend to worry if their child does not get married and more so as they enter in their 30s, so it is normal. The question here is - will you be ok to find your person or will go with what your parents want...this is something you need to respond to. Also how much do you know yourself - whilst you are saying you are not ready for marriage, you should know why not...you may like to schedule a 1:1 with me - google and you will know how.
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Answered on Feb 26, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 25, 2025Hindi
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Should I have told my Boyfriend about the Marriage Proposal while we were on a Break?
Ans: Your partner crossed the line - he crossed the boundary. Whilst we are in a relationship, we all are individuals looking out for ourselves. What you did is seeking help to learn about yourself - which was not wrong. The partner you were/are with is not a grown up :( over reacted which was not required.
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Answered on Jan 30, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
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Answered on Jan 30, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
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My boyfriend is offended when I say everyone is important: How should I respond?
Ans: Ask him the reason or asking this question, what is his motive to ask this question. Your response to him is as it should be, but learn why did he ask you the question.
It is ok to ask questions, doing this will help you give apt responses. It also shows your investment in a discussion as this.
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It is ok to ask questions, doing this will help you give apt responses. It also shows your investment in a discussion as this.
Answered on Jan 08, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025
I had a relationship of 3 years. It was going good , we have a battle for not talking as I as busy in my hectic schedule of job. but then also she had done the effort to not to give up in relationship.
But at the mid of job only suddenly I get to know she had a relationship earlier also of 3 yrs after knowing this it was completely a disaster for me and she had a physical relationship with him. Which is like shivering for me that day and upto the week even I am not able to focus on the things as I loved her too.
As I love her I have scolded her so much to not to tell before.Now I am at a stage where I had some memories I was being a good connection either it is of intimacy emotions .
But the things she has gone is killing me though I love her it is having a different feeling
What to do now.
Ans: if her cheating on you is bothering you so much - let it go - it is not just about you loving them, they need to feel the same for you - agree or disagree.
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Answered on Jan 08, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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Answered on Dec 07, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
Listen Friend Zone Blues: I Regret Telling My Crush How I Feel
Ans: She had become more than a friend, please accept it - you did nothing wrong by expressing your feelings, the important bit here is not what you conveyed but her response. It is best you maintain your distance as you have romantic feelings which is byond friendship - keeping away will be good for both.
And stop overthinking about why she declined - it is simple - that she likes someone else and not you so it is best to hear what she is saying vs getting into a overthinking mode. Your looks has nothing to do with her declining your gesture.
All the best
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And stop overthinking about why she declined - it is simple - that she likes someone else and not you so it is best to hear what she is saying vs getting into a overthinking mode. Your looks has nothing to do with her declining your gesture.
All the best
Answered on Dec 07, 2024
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Answered on Nov 12, 2024
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Answered on Nov 10, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
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Answered on Nov 01, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 30, 2024Hindi
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Answered on Oct 28, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am in a relationship with my boyfriend who is 2 yrs younger to me for past 3 years and i am not sure if he is someone whom i want to spend the rest of my life with. But he is ready to get married and his parents know about me and asking me when will i get married. I do not know how to take this forward and how will i know if he is the one
Ans: 1. do you have your must-haves ready - ideally not more than 7 - if he meets all, then go ahead and invest in him....i have written about must-haves - you can google to know more
2. you will never know 'someone is the one' till you do not invest in completition - keep in mind it takes 2 to make a relationship.
all the best
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2. you will never know 'someone is the one' till you do not invest in completition - keep in mind it takes 2 to make a relationship.
all the best
Answered on Oct 07, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 06, 2024
Hi, Ma'am, i start talking with guy through online. At first he was very good, gentle person. Later i found out his behavior something change. His has anger issue, mental issue. So i found this is toxic relationship. I stop replying. I even said to move on. But now he starts threatened me as he will suicide, also blackmail me with my pic . He has anger issues. I dont know what will happen next. I need a suggestion. Thank you
Ans: 1) You met him online, you have no emotions invested in him
2) Block him from your social media and phone asap and keep it blocked
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2) Block him from your social media and phone asap and keep it blocked
Answered on Oct 07, 2024
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Answered on Oct 03, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024
I am 23 year old. One of my ex who is married now told me about a job opportunity in his company where I applied and got selected he became my boss. He was recently married and was staying alone in Bangalore. He made alot of things easier for me, even arranged flight tickets, hotels for me from company's expenses. From first day I reached Mumbai he kept on saying me he loves me and has no intimacy with his wife it was a forced marriage and he can't live without me he came to check me at my hotel and he tried kissing me and when I resisted he said he has never touched his wife, it was his dream to loose his virginity with me only once he wants to have sex with me it was his dream I am his first love he can never be happy with that lady but this one moment will be enough to keep him happy and healthy convinced me to the level I gave up and we had sex that day. Later that day I got to know that he had clicked pictures of whatever happened. When I confronted him he said whenever he will miss me he will see this. I was like u did dis without my knowledge it's wrong without my permission. I left that company and Mumbai immediately in few days. I feel really bad, how I got into his words although I was single but I have a guilty of helping him in cheating his wife. Now he is having 2 children and a very happy mai life and I still keep blaming myself for having a thing with a married man and immense guilty for helping him cheating his wife. I have lost my mental peace. Is it all my fault??? It been 5 years since this things happened. I am happily married now and have no contact with that man but is it correct myself for it. Was it completely my fault. Have i cheated his wife or i myself got cheated by a liar?
Ans: 1. Was it your fault - 23 you are an adult, and someone who can take decisions, you decided to give in, allow him to take photographs - not about fault, but you gave consent
2. Have you got cheated by a liar - yes you did
3. Did you cheat his wife - he cheated his wife and you cheated yourself
Please make sure you BLOCK him from all social media handles, your phone number - surprised that you are still tracking him. And get out of your guilt and focus on your life.
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2. Have you got cheated by a liar - yes you did
3. Did you cheat his wife - he cheated his wife and you cheated yourself
Please make sure you BLOCK him from all social media handles, your phone number - surprised that you are still tracking him. And get out of your guilt and focus on your life.
Answered on Sep 28, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2024
I was in a 3 year rls with my ex boyfriend. During the rls, he cheated on me with another girl and then after some time, came back to me. He's so toxic and I don't want to live with him anymore but he threatens me so much, calls me everyday and blackmails me. I cry everyday because of him and I can't even tell my dad about it coz there is some family situation which isn't stable rn. Please help me and tell me a solution to get rid of this mess once and for all.
Ans: Block him from your life across social media - please get a grip of your life and let your family know so you feel safe and let them know after you block him. If he still bothers you let him know you will take the matter to legal authorities. If need be change your number - delete your current social handles and create a new one.
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Answered on Sep 28, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024
I already have a boyfriend but now I'm falling in love with another guy from my office. Now I am not sure who is right for me. I feel secure with one but more intimate with the other. I don't want to throw it all away but I don't know how to tell this to my boyfriend. What should I do?
Ans: Get your must-have in place - not more than 5-7 items - I talk a lot about the frame-work you can find it on my linkedin, reddit - once you have then take a call. all the best.
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Answered on Sep 28, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
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Arranged Marriage: Should I message him on LinkedIn?
Ans: 1) Identify your instincts - what you read means the person meets your must-haves and nothing more
2) It is ok you contacting him - ask him directly if he is meeting others and if he and his family wishes to engage with you and your family, given this came from your family - if he does not respond ignore and block him after a few weeks and if he says a no block him asap
3) Having said this he accepted your Linkedin but he may have no clue who you are and how you know him - so you may be overthinking
4) Dont waste time obsessing about someone you do not know at all except on paper.
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2) It is ok you contacting him - ask him directly if he is meeting others and if he and his family wishes to engage with you and your family, given this came from your family - if he does not respond ignore and block him after a few weeks and if he says a no block him asap
3) Having said this he accepted your Linkedin but he may have no clue who you are and how you know him - so you may be overthinking
4) Dont waste time obsessing about someone you do not know at all except on paper.
Answered on Sep 26, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 25, 2024
Hi Love Guru, greetings for the day, I am a 30 years old man . How to find Soulmate. I have never been in a relationship and don't have any past experience in even talking to Girls . I want to have love interest or want to have love marriage kindly request you to please advise.
Thank you.
Ans: 1. create a 5-7 items Must-Have list
2. Let your friends and family know you are looking out, ask them to introduce you to them
3. Sign up on online services
4. Consult a matchmaker who will share suggestions on how to confidently approach a potential match.
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2. Let your friends and family know you are looking out, ask them to introduce you to them
3. Sign up on online services
4. Consult a matchmaker who will share suggestions on how to confidently approach a potential match.
Answered on Sep 22, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 01, 2024Hindi
Listen My wife's friend from college had a crush on her: Is it emotional cheating?
Ans: I read this - ,Me(M38) and wife(F37) happily married for 12 years and blessed with one daughter. and post that with the limited data you have shared you are overthinking and investing time there vs making memories with your family.
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Answered on Sep 22, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 20, 2024Hindi
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Answered on Sep 22, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 21, 2024Hindi
Listen 45-Year-Old Woman in a Long-Distance Relationship with a Man Facing Financial and Health Challenges
Ans: He has not changed since 2 years - you need to gauge from this data if the needle will move - it takes a lot of discipline to loose weight and more so as you grow older....
Asked on - Sep 23, 2024 | Answered on Sep 23, 2024
ListenThanks Anu, i understand what you say, what do my giving ultimatum is right or should i give him more time. He says he has sincere feelings for me.
Ans: 1) I am not Anu. 2) you need to decide for yourself or speak to a life coach giving them a back story - all the best
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Answered on Sep 02, 2024
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Single Mom Seeks Life Partner: How to Choose the Right Man?
Ans: there is no concept of a perfect man or a woman in fact its the responsibility of the couple to make their relationship as close to perfect. ways to look for a match is let your family and friends know, look at other options / singles community both online and offline.
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Answered on Sep 01, 2024
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Man in Love with Colleague Faces Uncertainty After Her Actions, Seeks Advice
Ans: Firstly it seems you have clarity that you are calling your divorce off - please do so with a fresh start taking no past baggage - whatever it may be about your poor relationship with the wife or the episode of physical intimacy with AS. Basically focus on your now and your future. As for AS you are not responsible with who she deals with - the issue I see in all of this is she and you working in the same team - you may need to do something here, and here are my suggestions (1) change her or your reporting in the same organisation (2) look for another job - i know they dont come easy but if you can look for another job - working in close quatres with her is not recommended. Also dont get emotional about her - you 2 were consenting adults going through something similar in your life when you met- you found solace in each other - you got emotionally entangled, she did not..it is ok, these things happen BUT now you need to focus on you, your present and your furture. all the best
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Answered on Sep 01, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 31, 2024Hindi
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29-Year-Old Man Worries if Avoiding Relationships Will Hurt His Marriage Prospects
Ans: Are you asking if not being in a relationship will hurt your marriage prospects? Being in a relationship is a personal choice and you can be in one at any age before you marry - highly recommended to be friends with the person you decide to marry. all the best
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Answered on Aug 28, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 28, 2024Hindi
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Answered on Aug 19, 2024
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Should I Compromise on Romance for a Marriage?
Ans: Not sure if I understood the last 4-5 sentences - whilst i get that you are compatible and things are great - but there are concerns over a few things which you see as a concern and he does not - I dont get what are the concerns for me to be able to address this request.
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Answered on Aug 19, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 17, 2024Hindi
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Overcoming Relationship Doubts: Seeking Advice as a Young Adult
Ans: i am assuming you are talking about a romantic relationship - it is a relationship of friendship / care and affection as like other relationship with people you are fond of - except that this relationship has romance built in.
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Answered on Aug 19, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 18, 2024Hindi
Listen 27-Year-Old Woman Feeling Pressured to Get Married in Arranged Marriage
Ans: if you really are looking for suggestions here they are 1) shut all doors with the man who you are dating but you know you have no future with him. 2) get to know the man you have been introduced to and like him and tell him that you wish to know him for a year before you marry him. And let him know your plans on how you wish to know him through the year - all the best.
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Answered on Aug 12, 2024
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Answered on Aug 04, 2024
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Intercaste Relationship: Should I Stay or Break Up?
Ans: he is pretty clear that there is no long term with you - you need to decide what works for you. all the best.
Asked on - Aug 04, 2024 | Answered on Aug 04, 2024
ListenBut I'm confused. I need suggestions what is right for me. Thats why I am here, what should I do. In these situations what is the most right and good thing to do which helps me
Ans: I will not be able to suggest till I know more. You may schedule a time to meet me as I do not have the context - you can find a link in the bio page of my brand on how you can meet me if interested.
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Answered on Jul 31, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi
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Answered on Jul 31, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2024Hindi
Listen Why Do Good Guys Like Me Always Get Rejected?
Ans: It could be that you are searching at wrong places. It also could be that you have not done enough self reflection about yourself. I have written some blogs on this topic which you can find on my brand page - check that out, may make you reflect.
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Answered on Jul 31, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Answered on Jul 31, 2024
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Answered on Jul 26, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
Listen Dating Dilemma: Long Wait for a Guy's Response - Red Flag?
Ans: Dont you think 4 months gives you time too to realise if he is the one for you too - please meet others too and go slow without investing any emotions till there is a discussion around seriousness - or else if you are game for casual so be it.
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Answered on Jul 26, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
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Answered on Jul 17, 2024
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Answered on Jul 17, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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Answered on Jul 17, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
Listen Need a Break from Relationship - Distancing Boyfriend, Should I Initiate?
Ans: What is disturbing you - (1) the break (2) or he wanting to fix his life. You need to know you cannot fix him, you can stand by him and he needs to work on himself. If he has asked for a break or distancing himself give him the space. Let him know nicely without emotions that you know he is distancing himself and that you are around. Ask him if you can contact him during this time - if he says a no then respect it. And if this leads to a breakup then it is what is, its unfortunate though.
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