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Ravi

Ravi Mittal

Dating, Relationships Expert 

42 Answers | 4 Followers

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships. He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Answered on May 23, 2023

Relationship
I am 12th passed student and I had a bf around feb .Everything was perfectly fine in the starting but then somehow our talks got less and i asked him if everything was ok bcoz i felt strange whenever we talked through texts. He said he is tired and doesn't wanna talk and did not know what happened to him ... Plus exams were ongoing so I supported the way I can but i knew something was off ... As the time passed things got worse. I asked how much time u need to be urself .. u are going out with ur friends but don't wanna talk to me neither u asked how i am for past dew weeks or a month . In the last he said leave I am not good enough for you. Everything thing we talked was on snapchat app. I was so depressed plus my exam result were less then expected. I stopped using any social media.. There wasn't a single day i missed him or thought of seeing the snaps but somehow i made myself I understand that If u were imp he wouldn't talk about leaving...ig ... But still I do miss him when everything was started and ended by him... On 14th My frnd texted me asking abt my result and she said she will ask him aswell( she doesn't know abt us dating) ... And after a week i.e today i downloaded the app and i saw that he sent me snaps till 14th and they all were deleted and after that there was nothing. Somehow i feel that there must be some conversations between my frnd and him. But what i feel now is that i regret why i didn't saw his msgs when i missed him. It makes me feel regret and sad . Whenever i think about it i forget all that disrespect but at the same time something stops me . Idk what kind of feeling is this ... All ik that there was a little communication between us that was also gone ... I just wanna overcome but i cant . Its gonna be a month and these emotions are really making me feel depressed. I even start making scenarios and stories in my mind . Idk what is happening to me . Pls help me overcome this what should i do ?
Ans: Dear Radha,

I understand that you are experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment, but listen to me, this too shall pass. You won't feel this way three months from now. Six months from now, you will find it funny that you even felt this way once, and you might even regret focusing on your ex than your exams. Two years from now, you will even forget how you felt on this day; you will forget the sorrow, you will forget how lonely and helpless you felt. You will move on. Everyone does. Look at the bigger picture and these feelings that you are experiencing today will seem small.

Now, coming to how you can deal with it at present- focus on your studies; everything can wait, but your career won't. Hang out with your friends; tell them how you are feeling. Talking about pain is known to give some kind of relief. No one can take it from you, but having someone to listen to it can help. Focus on your health- mental and physical; workout a bit. It helps. And, in the end, let time do its magic.

P.S. If he says he's not good enough for you, believe it. You deserve better; even your ex thinks so. So why don't you?

Best Wishes!
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Answered on May 23, 2023

Relationship
Heloo I have been a single mother for the last 10 years. Last year I found a guy to retain he loves me and had a physical relationship with me. Six months it was good. suddenly he realized that he had family and started ignoring me, and stop chatting meeting me. I am waiting for him till date. But in the last four months, I start liking another guy who is married with two children and who also loves me a lot. We had a long-distance relationship. He comes from Pune to meet me. We talk a lot on calls. But still, I am confused about what to do. I cannot forget my first guy and also don't know what I feel for the second guy. but I like to talk to him. Please guide me. I don't want to be alone.
Ans: Dear SSV,

It might help you to take a second and think about what you want. You loved someone and now he is gone. Moving on and finding another person to love is natural. Not being able to forget your ex might not be so much about your ex, as much as it is about you not being ready for another relationship. Allow yourself the time to heal and then look to love and be loved.

Introspection- asking yourself, "Am I really in love?" "Do I need some more time to move on?" "Am I completely healed from the previous breakup?" and so on can help you identify the real problem at hand.

You said, "I don't want to be alone." Are you sure you are not jumping from one relationship to another from the fear of the same? Don't let the fear of loneliness rush you into making moves that you might regret. You can consider stepping back from your current relationship for a heartbeat and figure out what it is that you want without your feelings clouding your judgment. Relationships don't usually work out when you are in two minds about it.

Best Wishes!
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Answered on May 19, 2023

Relationship
I'm 48 years old never married guy. I once suffered from rare cancer which is cured now. Also hv epilepsy whose treatment will go life long. Doctor says that i should disclose my health issue with whom I'm thinking of getting married but no one takes talks further. I'm infact ready for divorcee or widow too but failed. Some ppl reject me as my salary is mot much, some says that i dont hv my own hm etc but i hv many friens who are getting less salary but are happily married. My whole family if highly educated although I'm also pg but still get rejected. My dad expired n was too worried for my marriage. Now my mother is with me n i dont know what to do. I hv spend approx 35k on matrimonial advertisements but got no success. Im currently in touch with girl for last 1+ year but dont know whether she likes me or not although i hd expressed my feelings to her many times but she never respond n get silent on that. Kindly help whether i should approach this girl or leave her. I like this girl very much. Should i still search for a bride or leave this issue. Kindly help.
Ans: Dear Shashank,

If you have been straightforward about your feelings for this woman and expressed the same and yet she has never reciprocated it even once so far, it might be because she does not feel the same about it. I'd suggest you talk to her about this. Instead of leaving it open-ended, like "I like you," and letting her react to it, be direct. For instance, "I like you. What about you? Do you like me?" Being direct would definitively fetch you some real answers. If she replies to your question, there you go; you have your answer. If she ignores it still, you can safely assume that she doesn't feel the same way as you do. Don't delay this; ask her as soon as possible. Stretching a relationship that ultimately leads to a dead-end will harm your peace and happiness in the longer run.
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Answered on May 12, 2023

Relationship
I was in a relationship for 3 months but the girl never reciprocated in the same way as i did.There was no initiative from her side but when I used to ask her why is this happening only i m trying to build but you aren't, she used to say that i was unable to see anything she is doing for me.To be very honest and being impartial if i was at level 10 she was at 1.One day on this very topic some arguments happened and she walked away.After that no message no call and she used to tell me that she loved me but she never ever tried to reach out to me.Now its been one month.I literally am feeling really gloomy.Now she is putting status and showing that to me that i was not ready to build with her i uttered wrong words to her.But honestly i am telling you that I loved her very much and tried all the ways to build with her but she never reciprocated.I still miss her a lot but she seems to moved on so easily that's hurting me too much simultaneously she is putting these statuses too What to do?
Ans: Dear Sid,

If you, even for one moment, felt that you have been putting more work into the relationship than your partner, there must have been reason to believe so. Do not doubt your concerns just because your ex tried to pin the blame on you by minimizing your worries. It's a clear sign of gaslighting. As for the statuses, some people take pleasure in making others feel unnecessarily guilty, even if the fault lies on their part. My advice would be to not pay attention to any of it. If necessary, delete her contact; a clean break might help you move on. Don't do it to show her that you have moved on, but try to move on in reality. You deserve more than half-hearted efforts.

Best Wishes!
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Answered on Apr 24, 2023

Relationship
I love someone (one side love)...one day i want to communicate with him i start chating with him..but some days i came to know that he has bad habits like drinking smoking..so i want to stop talking with him and want to leave my love..but he was messaged me..i replied to his messages..but now i want to talk with but he ignoring me..he reading my messages but not replying..i want to forgot him but i cant he is ignoring me what can i do
Ans: Dear Pspk,

Smoking and drinking are bad habits, but if they aren't highly addicted to them, breaking up might have been a bit extreme. But I understand that it might have been unacceptable for you at the moment.

Coming to the present issue in hand, if he is ignoring your texts, there is a chance that he has moved on, or maybe he is still angry with your decision. Give it some time; if he still does not contact you on his own or replies to your message, it might be time to accept the reality- he doesn't want to patch up. Like you decided to leave when you did not like his habits, and he respected it, you have to respect his choice to remain separated. Not all relationships are meant to work.

Focus on yourself; hang out with your friends; talk to people close to you. And most importantly, give it some time. One more small tip, if you happen to get back together, please discuss his smoking and drinking habits and how the two of you will deal with them. Neither of you should have to settle for the other. Find a middle ground.

Best Wishes!
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Answered on Apr 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2023
Relationship
I am having an issue that is very difficult for me to live with but living with. It is the bad luck my wife brings when she is around. We are married for 16 years & have a 15 yrs. old daughter, we are Bengalis. My marriage was an arranged marriage But once the marriage was done I found that whatever tasks I tried to do with my wife around is bound to fail Similarly, for my wife it is the same whatever she tries with me it is a failure Examples In the early years I got an opportunity to go to the USA for a long-term assignment, when my wife was in her native for childbirth I went alone & after a few months she joined me, just within 2 months of her joining my project was abruptly closed & I was sent back. This was a wakeup call & just to see how things work I send her to our native to complete her studies & in 2 years it was smooth, but again when she returned within 6 months my Kolkata project got closed & was forced transferred to Pune, I came here alone & within a few months got another job when I brought her to Pune things started going wrong, I got smart & when things will get wrong I will send her to native for some alibi & things will look up, then get her back again things will start getting wrong & again repeat... it was a challenge as my daughter’s schooling was being effected I can give 100s of example how I purposely made sure she is not around when I had to do something critical. I see a similar situation on her side if I am not around things work out but if I am around simply luck will make sure to fail. Now things have gone to the extent that I make plans that she is not there even if I go out for minor tasks like going to an ATM .. if she goes with me the ATMs will be out of order & I have to return without the cash I am a rationalist & never believe in luck or that someone can bring bad luck .. but such has been the repetition of bad lucks & failures when my wife is around that I have succumbed. About 5 years back we started talking to astrologers, palmists & all sorts of people whom I used to ridicule & they tried all their rings, tabiz, etc but nothing worked. My wife takes care more than a modern-day housewife, cooking managing the household, shopping taking the kids to school, hobbies, & she tries to put her best sincerity into it there is no complaint. In fact, she is taken as an idol among many of our relatives & friends for her behavior & ways she maintains relations with others, this has gone to such an extent that many in our family & friends are jealous of her I don’t think it will be possible to continue like this forever but she is a housewife, doing her best We belong to the middle class I simply don’t want her to dump her with people saying all sorts of things as I feel for her BUT cannot stay with her as now she just around makes me feel nervous. I have tried several times to think positively but could never convince myself We have never talked about this in-depth as I know she is helpless & there is nothing for her to change & will only be hurting her. But many times she told me when things go wrong that she is bringing me bad luck & trouble not once but always, I have simply ignored or reasoned with her the logical thing " as the project got closed due to a change in company strategy" etc, but things turning negative when she is around & turning positive when she is not there EVERYTIME for 15 years is really something I can’t convince myself. She is only unlucky for me but for others like her father, relatives & friends she is very lucky, even 2 days ago one of our neighbors called her as someone was coming to see their daughter for marriage, she went & it worked for them, they call her because she has an ideal homely look which such critical guests think “ah they have good company” & also as the neighbors’ aged mother told” since you came our work got done since you are lucky “ Now why I am writing to you is something maybe you have never heard of. One of my office colleagues ( I will tell you he is between a colleague & a friend with whom I spend a considerable amount of time usually discussing office stuff but he is more open to me on his personal issues, I am a little conservative on this front & have never talked or will like to talk about the issues with my wife) who is childless almost my wife's age. He also was in a marriage for about 10 years but his wife has been very violent, he tried his level best met a number of psychologists, etc but things have not worked. 2 months ago he decided to divorce his wife & is now working on the legal formalities. Many a time while talking I will tell him the way my wife behaves & he will really rue if his wife was like this. From my wife's side, I know her choice & this colleague will be his dream prince.( very handsome, smart, very good talker). On asking about plans after the divorce my colleague has told me that he is looking to remarry preferring divorcee/widow as he doesn’t want to have kids at this age. His ideal wife choice matches my wife. He will be looking for after his divorce gets to some stage. I clearly know that both will be a really good match & will be eternal pairs. I am sure she will not be unlucky for him. I had invited my colleague to my home for tea (with me) so that they can meet which they did, I tactically left them alone for some time but I don’t want to talk to my wife about thinking of this colleague as this will be very offensive & if she refuses our relationship may be damaged forever. Also in no way can propose my married wife to my colleague. I don’t want to talk to anyone but create a circumstance or at the most an indirect hint that they can think of to evaluate if they want to be together. Can you please help As a closing note, I will like to mention, in Dec last year I was told that I will be layedoff from my position by June 30, I immediately started searching for other jobs but nothing worked for 3 months, after completion of my daughter annual exams I send them to my native & now I have got a job in Bangalore, I will leave my family in Pune reasoning my daughter should complete her 12th from the school here but the real reason is above. I don’t have any girl in my life but if she moves out then maybe I can think. Also, my wife is among my 3 people for whom I can do anything so that they will be happy other 2 are my mother & daughter. But I am practically abusing/punishing/torturing her just because I can survive. This colleague looks like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for everyone to be happy. The only mental block which I need to remove is my colleagues who being a gentleman will never think about my wife & my wife’s that she is in a marriage will never think. If things don’t work out between them then I am Ok with things to go as its going but that’s just spending years. I will take care of her but maybe never stay with her with some alibi & certainly will not be thinking about another girl still she is dependent on me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Standing in today's day and age, how can you still believe a person can be the sole reason for someone's good luck or bad? It's just a mere coincidence, whatever has happened.

Anyways, what to want to believe is up to you; coming to the part where you need assistance: you want to leave your wife and set her up with your colleague? I hope I got that right, given how messed up it is. Getting a divorce is your choice; if you aren't happy, or in your case, if you are feeling "unlucky" you might want to end a relationship but how your wife wants to live her life after the divorce is absolutely her choice. How can you, for even a second, think of setting her up with your colleague? You might think you are being generous and trying to take care of her, but it's just you soothing your own guilt.

Leave her if that's what you want; she'll be lucky for it. But don't try to guide her life in whatever direction you want it to go.

Good Luck!
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Answered on Apr 17, 2023

Relationship
Hi, i really need a boyfriend. I meet a guy and felt for him, can't get him out of my way. I really need him. Please help me to impress him.😒😣
Ans: Dear Debayati,

I am glad to hear you found someone worth putting in the effort. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to impressing anyone, here are some general and proven ways to realistically impress someone:


• Don't force your feelings on him; let him fall for you because he wants to, not because you stressed him into doing so. Any relationship built on such foundations has ever worked out.
• Let him see your wit; emotionally-mature men like intelligent women who are not scared to put forward their opinion and challenge set ideas. Please don't play dumb; it is not attractive. And if your man thinks it's cute, you better reconsider your feelings for him.
• Be yourself. Overdoing and altering anything, be it the way you dress or the way you talk or your behavior in general will not help with impressing him. Instead, he will see a version of you that is made up and might or might not fall for that version; but it isn't you, and he isn't falling for you. So it's better you be yourself and see where it goes.
• Indulge him in talks about his interests and passions. Men have some interests that are known to bore most women, for instance, cricket. Talk about that topic and let him believe he has hit the jackpot by finding a woman who's interested in his passions.
• Humor and wit go hand in hand. Crack occasional jokes. Men, not unlike women, love to have a good laugh.
• Some flirting is healthy; send flirty texts once in a while, for instance, "You look cute," etc. Whatever you are comfortable with; the idea is to be present even when you aren't physically there with him.

Hope this helps.
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Answered on Apr 17, 2023

Answered on Apr 17, 2023

Relationship
Why it is so that all dating websites have fake profiles or crooks are available instead of genuine common people who can interact and do friendship. OR how can we identify the fake profiles etc.? or is there any genuine dating site with profiles duly verified? Pl. advice.
Ans: Dear A,

It is true that a small portion of deviants make it through the air-tight security that most dating apps provide, but it wouldn't be right to say that there are no genuine people who are interested in interacting or being friends. In fact, a large majority of our users are in the app seeking friendship.

Here and there, you might find some spammy profiles that got through, despite a dating app’s best efforts. Report any suspicious profile as soon as you recognize them as fake users; I assure you that most dating apps take prompt action after checking the genuinity of the report.

Here are some ways to identify a fake profile:

• While some people do not put up their own pictures due to privacy issues, there will be at least a picture of an animal, some random scenery, or wallpapers. But a profile that has a blank space for a display image is more likely a fake one.
• Beware of suspicious first messages with a user directly sharing their number.
• Let's say, you have been talking to someone. If you notice inconsistencies in their stories, it might be a fake profile. Even if they aren't one, it's best not to be in contact with people starting a relationship with lies.
• Financial talks- discussing money or asking for money- during the chatting phase is a big red flag.

Hope this helps.
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Answered on Apr 14, 2023

Relationship
I'm a 19 year-old-boy and I have been in a relationship for 1 year. We know each other a lot as we're best friends before we decided to be couple. But due to some incidents I'm having trust issues. She is a little bit desirable with me only but I'm imagining if she gets intimated with any other due to her excitement or if she leaves me. I really want to trust her. I've experienced this before when I was in another relationship 5 years back. Maybe it's my past which is hovering. I don't know. I want to believe her. How can I ?
Ans: Dear Anirban,

It seems to be that you are having a little bit of a trust issue, which is normal at your age. But look, you have known your girlfriend for quite some time now. Is she capable of being dishonest with you? Yes, there are differences between being someone's best friend and someone's romantic partner, but the person and their innate nature stay more or less the same. You know her better than anyone. Ask yourself. If there is still some sliver of doubt, the best thing would be to have a clear and honest discussion about the same with her. Communicate to her, without sounding accusatory, that you have been feeling this way lately.

In my experience, if your gut tells you there's some reason to worry, there usually is. But you are young, and your intuitions can very well be clouded by emotions running high and insecurities that come with that age. The best course of action is to talk it out. You will have clarity.

And hey, your past is in the past. What happened there, and how you were or weren't treated cannot be the yardstick for everything that is happening and is yet to happen in your life. You are too young to hang back in the past.

Best Wishes!
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Answered on Apr 13, 2023

Relationship
I started a relationship with a girl. First we thought it just a relationship no marriage. But as days going we fell deep into each other that we cant live without each other. I found one thing that she loving more than needed. Im so scared of her, what will she do if i run out of her life for my marriage. This thought killed me. So I decided to leave her without telling a reason. I left her with a small issue. I really dont want to loose but i had to. I just said good bye, she also said good bye. Later i never texted her. She too never texted me. But after 2 months i felt guilty of leaving so i came back to her. Previously her parents decided to marry her to their son in law. I know this when were in relationship. So after our breakup i came back to her. But she said no to me because she is committed with her brother in law. I cant take this. Its killing me. After i said good bye she never tried to contact me for patch-up. Even no texts. Her brother in law told her that im ready to marry you. So she too said i too like you and im also ready to marry you. But their marriage will happen in 2026. I told her that untill marriage please be with me and this is our deal when we started our relationship. But she said no. I begged her many times but she always said no to me. And still now i cant believe that she said no to me. All this happened 3 months ago but still i cant forget her. Recently she deleted my number also. Everything making me feel low. What should i do now?
Ans: Dear Srikanth,

To me, it sounds like you broke up with her. No, you ghosted her. How you put her on trial isn't clear to me, given the fact that you stopped contacting her after a mere goodbye and no proper explanation. Why did she not try to contact you? Maybe she has enough self-respect to restrain herself from doing so; I cannot speak for her but judging the events, you were the one who broke up and you need to own up to it.

Moving on to her deciding to get married- I am assuming she told you she's happy to marry her intended; if so, please accept the reality and move on. Next, why is she not agreeing to be in a relationship with you till the time she gets married? To expect otherwise from any sane, self-respecting person is delusional.

You knew that the two of you could not end up together and took a decision; immature as it was, your intentions were good. Similarly, your ex chose to move on. I don't see either of you making any considerable mistakes here. Both were right in their ways, except for the "you leaving her without a word" part. It is time you move on, and let her live her life in peace. You might feel low for a while, but nothing feels worse than hurting the people you once loved, and compelling your ex to commit to you when she doesn't want to is the same as hurting her. Make the right choices.

Best Wishes!
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Answered on Apr 03, 2023

Relationship
I have a girlfriend.. And i proposed a girl for fun i dont have any feelings on her.. Shes my friend and even she knows we are in a relation.. And another.. My girl has some issues with her friends.. They were planning to beat.. Or scold then i stood beside.. Not let them to hit but daid to speak to her.. She got insulted there.. Now my girlfriend broke up saying these reasons.. What should i do ?
Ans: Dear Srujan,

Your intentions might not be tainted but put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes, and don't think from your perspective. Think of hers. You might have been okay if the roles were reversed, but can't say the same for most people. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster, but for some instances, it is justified; not right, but understandable. You proposing to another girl might have been a joke for you, but it hurt your GF. The only thing you can do here is to explain the situation and apologize for making her feel this way, even though it wasn't your intention.

For your second issue, I'd say it was good thinking on your part not to get too involved and yet be there for your girlfriend and stop her friends from resorting to violence. If that has insulted your partner, you can try clarifying your intent, and if she still does not want to pay heed to your side of the story, you don't owe her any more explanation for this particular issue.

If you don't have trust and understanding in your relationship, it's a losing battle, no matter how much you both try to hold on to it. An honest and level-headed discussion is the only thing that can save your relationship at this point.

Best wishes!
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Answered on Mar 27, 2023

Relationship
How can i improve my communication with my partner
Ans: Dear Prakriti,

The first step to improving your relationship is putting in the effort, and I am glad to see you are doing so. A healthy relationship runs on proper communication and there are many ways to do it. For starters, while discussing something important with your partner, set aside all things that can take away your concentration from it; for instance, keep your phone at a distance, turn off the TV, etc.

Here are some more ideas:

• During a conflict (conflict is also communication) think before you speak. Don't randomly assign blames because that won't get the discussion anywhere productive, but rather heat it up further.
• Be clear about what you want to talk about; beating around the bush will lead to more confusion. If you want to convey something, be accurate and straightforward about it; it helps leave nothing to assumptions.
• I statements are better than you statements. For instance, "I feel sad when you speak to me in this tone" sounds much better and calmer than, "You always make me feel sad with your tone." It successfully steers the conversation from turning into a blame game.
• Say sorry and thank you when it's due.

Another important part of communication is paying attention and listening intently to what your partner has to say. We often speak our piece and barely lend an ear when it's the other person's turn. Make sure to hear them out for better communication. And don't just talk about negative feelings; communicate the positive ones too.

Hope this helps.

Best Wishes!
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Answered on Mar 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 16, 2023
Relationship
hi gure. i am unmarried fall for one girl through online marriage app and we are planning for marriage. few days back we got engaged as well.but after that i am in think that she is avoiding me. she go to sleep early even we were not in talk that much. i always in overthinking that she may have affair or she may ditch me. i cant control my emotion for her. if i cant get her call i called her madly. its make me so depress, nervous. i can not concentrate on work , other imp things. what should i do to get out of this help me ? help me get out of this sir
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

While overthinking can destroy a relationship, if you feel in your gut that something isn't right, there might be some truth and reason to it. My advice would be to have an open discussion about the same with your girlfriend.

We often see people making commitments but backing out later owing to several issues; it can be family-related or something else completely. It is better to speak about your worries right now than to get married and regret it. Maybe your partner is no longer interested in you or maybe she is facing some other trouble altogether; the only way you can understand what's happening is if you ask.

Don't beat around the bush or lose sleep over assumptions; sit your girlfriend down and ask her what's the matter. If she is no longer in love with you, you should consider yourself lucky to have learned it now rather than later, when things are more official and there are no breakups, only divorces. You deserve to be peacefully in love, not worrying about losing it every waking minute.

Hope this helps.

Best Wishes!
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Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Relationship
My name is Rajesh, I am 50 year old 4years back I got to know that my wife is in relationship with someone and after inqiuring in detail I found that, that was her second relationship. Earlier relationship was broken 1 year before. and she told me all herself when I ask on condition that if she didnt tell me I may take dicision of breaking. so sho told me everything without hiding. she is telling me that she still loves me. Arter that she stoped all contacts but after a year she strated developing contacts with facebook messenger and developed one more relationship with one FB friend. again when I got to know she stoped contacting him. this time ther was no physical relationship, but she admitted that he once kissed her. the boy tried to contact her in all ways but she somehow stopped this matter. I love my wife very much. I forgive her every time. three year passed now all this year she was not going outside alone without me. but in these days I also insisted her to go out, and she started going to yoga class where she used to go early and she is very happy now days. I dont know whether I am doing correct or not, some time I still have dought in my mind whether she will start again doing affairs. I am some times afread, dont know what to do. whether I should still continue trusting and loving my wife or what. we have one son age 16 now. I am confuesd sometimes but till date happiness is maintained in the family. But I am feeling lonely somtimes. what to do?
Ans: Dear Rajesh,

I can understand it is an impossible situation for you but this too shall pass. First things first, are you happy in a relationship that involves cheating, not once, but twice and who's to say there won't be a third? Ask yourself that. If the answer is no, it is quite understandable, but if it's yes, then why? Why would anyone be happy with a partner who cheats over and over again? Why do you think you deserve such a life? Granted, relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but they should not look this grim either. You alone have kept it going for this long, and maintained harmony by accepting your partner's infidelity time and again; ask yourself what would happen if you allowed yourself to stop. You can stop tolerating it, you know?

The question isn't how you should deal with your partner who is evidently a repeat cheater. The question is how you should deal with the situation and why are you reacting in a way that almost makes me think that you believe you deserve such a relationship. As for your kid, divorce or separation has much less effect on a child than a broken marriage with two unhappy parents.

If you still want to continue, that is also okay. To each their own, but don't forget to ask yourself what are you staying in this marriage for; your kid, societal pressure, or is it unconditional love for your wife, who, by the way, does not reciprocate the same for you.

Best Wishes!
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Answered on Feb 20, 2023

Relationship
My wife has said that she will keep no relation with my family and i should not keep any relation with her family. This happened as my mother on law always supporter her..She is late for everything and which triggers my anger. I have always supported her but in the past i had friends who used to make me drink and travel leaving her all alone.I have already left the past. She is working now but does not support in running the family expense. She is 41 & i am 47 now. Our marriage has been is now completed 19 years. I have to bear all the expenses of the family like Son's school fees etc. She sometimes incurs her medical expenses. I am not at all happy as she is does not disclose anything to me and always thinks that my family is after her and says that they do some black magic etc...I am planning to bring my father as he is 80 years old but he is fearing that if he comes then there will be a dispute in my family. Should i ask to share the family expenses as this is eating out all my savings. Please guide me ...I am very unhappy.
Ans: Dear Trilok,

An open discussion might help in your case. I am sure you have tried explaining your grievances to your wife, but try it one more time. But instead of making your statements like, "your actions make me so frustrated," try to make her your ally with I statements, for instance, "I feel so frustrated because of everything that's going on; I really need you in my corner." What this does is tickles the other person's ego by making them feel needed; it just might do the trick.

Express your thoughts politely, without ever losing control of your tongue, and make your wife understand that you are partners and equals, hence both are responsible for the wellbeing of your family, not just you alone.

Best Wishes!
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