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Ravi Mittal
Dating, Relationships Expert
577 Answers | 67 FollowersFollow
Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Answered on Apr 24, 2025
I am emotionally so attached to my boyfriend. It's been almost 3.5 years for our relationship but we can't talk much or meet regularly due to his excessive controlling parents. I am feeling depressed I don't know what to do please help.
Ans: Dear Atmaja,
I understand it must be very difficult to be unable to meet your partner as per your wish. But if your parents are controlling and this is what you must do to keep your relationship safe, the struggle might be worth it in the end. I suggest focusing more on texting, if calling and meeting is a problem. Moreover, remember it is always quality over quantity. One quality meetup is much better than meeting everyday.
Hope this helps
(more)
I understand it must be very difficult to be unable to meet your partner as per your wish. But if your parents are controlling and this is what you must do to keep your relationship safe, the struggle might be worth it in the end. I suggest focusing more on texting, if calling and meeting is a problem. Moreover, remember it is always quality over quantity. One quality meetup is much better than meeting everyday.
Hope this helps
Answered on Apr 21, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
Confused after guy friendzoned me and then thanked me: Should I respond?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is very difficult to tell what’s going on in someone’s mind, or how feelings change suddenly; it is unfair but it’s very common. If he has clearly mentioned that he does not want anything romantic with you, it is best to not pursue. I understand that it has hurt you, and maybe somewhere, it has also hurt your ego, but it is best to respect his boundaries. Coming to responding to his message- since he has thanked you for your help, it would be decent to reply; you can do it with a simple “you are welcome.” But I won’t force you to do it; if you think that he doesn’t deserve it, then you can avoid it. But if you are wondering if he wants you back, as an onlooker, I didn’t see any indication of that. Then again, as I mentioned, it is difficult to tell what’s going on in someone’s mind. If you want clarity, you should have an open discussion and ask him about it. That much explanation he owes you.
Hope this helps
(more)
It is very difficult to tell what’s going on in someone’s mind, or how feelings change suddenly; it is unfair but it’s very common. If he has clearly mentioned that he does not want anything romantic with you, it is best to not pursue. I understand that it has hurt you, and maybe somewhere, it has also hurt your ego, but it is best to respect his boundaries. Coming to responding to his message- since he has thanked you for your help, it would be decent to reply; you can do it with a simple “you are welcome.” But I won’t force you to do it; if you think that he doesn’t deserve it, then you can avoid it. But if you are wondering if he wants you back, as an onlooker, I didn’t see any indication of that. Then again, as I mentioned, it is difficult to tell what’s going on in someone’s mind. If you want clarity, you should have an open discussion and ask him about it. That much explanation he owes you.
Hope this helps
Answered on Apr 18, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2025Hindi
Help! I Called My Partner By My Ex's Name - Twice!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether it was a genuine mistake or there are lingering issues that led to this slip-up, it is natural for your current partner to feel uncomfortable and even sad hearing you repeatedly calling out for your ex. I hope this much you acknowledge. Now moving on to how we can fix this- first of all, apologize; mistake or not, you can still say you are sorry. Next, have a clear discussion with your partner- ask her how it made her feel and what can you do to make it better. This way she can see that you are owing up and taking initiatives. Then, I want you to reflect- why is this happening? Did you get into this relationship before you could fully move on? Or have you been thinking about your ex? If so, why and is that fair to your present partner? I hope if you are honest with your answers, by the end of it you will have some clarity.
Hope this helps
(more)
Whether it was a genuine mistake or there are lingering issues that led to this slip-up, it is natural for your current partner to feel uncomfortable and even sad hearing you repeatedly calling out for your ex. I hope this much you acknowledge. Now moving on to how we can fix this- first of all, apologize; mistake or not, you can still say you are sorry. Next, have a clear discussion with your partner- ask her how it made her feel and what can you do to make it better. This way she can see that you are owing up and taking initiatives. Then, I want you to reflect- why is this happening? Did you get into this relationship before you could fully move on? Or have you been thinking about your ex? If so, why and is that fair to your present partner? I hope if you are honest with your answers, by the end of it you will have some clarity.
Hope this helps
Answered on Apr 18, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 05, 2025
I have a crush on my colleague recently. We started as a friend but one day we get drunk on one of colleague house. We talk about life and love. I asked about his ex. He told his past relationship story how they break up. I also shared some of my past situationship. We live in a same colony. So we came back home together getting drunk I told him you can lean ur head on my shoulder. And he suddenly lean his head on my shoulder and he was sleeping and I wake him up when we reached our destination. He takes me to my house and I suddenly hold his wrist. I don't why did I hold him and next morning he yes hi (call my name)how are you I didn't respond properly I'm just like yeah good after that he seems to avoid me a lot he didn't talk to me much I caught him looking at me sometimes but it might be coincidence. I think he doesn't like me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must all be very confusing but I would suggest not jumping to conclusions. You think he doesn’t like you, but he might be thinking the same since you did not respond to him properly the next day. That could have triggered his current behavior. If you have feelings for him or if you even miss him as a friend, I would recommend you to clear the air with him. Just talk it out- you can explain how things got a little heavy the other day and that’s why you didn’t speak to him nicely and apologize if that made him feel bad. If even after that he continues to avoid you, then you will have better clarity.
Hope this helps.
(more)
I understand it must all be very confusing but I would suggest not jumping to conclusions. You think he doesn’t like you, but he might be thinking the same since you did not respond to him properly the next day. That could have triggered his current behavior. If you have feelings for him or if you even miss him as a friend, I would recommend you to clear the air with him. Just talk it out- you can explain how things got a little heavy the other day and that’s why you didn’t speak to him nicely and apologize if that made him feel bad. If even after that he continues to avoid you, then you will have better clarity.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Apr 18, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2025
Hey... Five years ago, I confessed my feeling to my crush. She declined my proposal politely and asked me to be friends. I respected her decision of putting down my proposal but i didn't want to in friendzone so I broke my contract with her. Since then we never encountered each other. After fuve years one of our mutual friends met her and she was asking him about me. On their 2nd meet, she initiated the conversation regarding and asking about me again in positive way. I know this can be her normal behavior. My friend told me that she was interested in talking about me and was kinda impressed from whatever my friend told her about me.
I want to know about that if i am in her mind or if she wants to get connected with me or meet me ? I am kinda confused
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Like you mentioned, it is very normal for old friends to enquire about each other, especially if they have not been in touch for a long time. It might be the same in this case. The only way to tell for sure is to ask her. If you are interested in reconnecting, you can think about the same and ask her once you are back in talking terms. But I would recommend not assuming anything and getting your hopes up.
Best Wishes.
(more)
Like you mentioned, it is very normal for old friends to enquire about each other, especially if they have not been in touch for a long time. It might be the same in this case. The only way to tell for sure is to ask her. If you are interested in reconnecting, you can think about the same and ask her once you are back in talking terms. But I would recommend not assuming anything and getting your hopes up.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Apr 17, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2025Hindi
Do Indian Women Date Black Men? An Expert's Perspective
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Like women everywhere, Indian women also typically want to date green flags. Kindness, respect, emotional maturity trumps the color of someone’s skin. Now, if you are asking about someone specific, then it would largely depend on their individual preferences, experiences, and comfort levels more than broad assumptions. Attraction is very personal.
Hope this helps
(more)
Like women everywhere, Indian women also typically want to date green flags. Kindness, respect, emotional maturity trumps the color of someone’s skin. Now, if you are asking about someone specific, then it would largely depend on their individual preferences, experiences, and comfort levels more than broad assumptions. Attraction is very personal.
Hope this helps
Answered on Apr 17, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2025Hindi
Muslim Girlfriend Threatening Suicide After Breakup: Can I Be Held Responsible?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry that you are in this difficult situation; it sounds very emotionally draining. Now coming to your question, I cannot give you advice from the legal point of view but I can give you the human pov.- even though you are not responsible for anyone’s mental health, you can still be kind and helpful when someone is at a low point in their lives. You can start by telling her that you care about her, but the romantic relationship is over. And even though you two are not a couple, you will still help her get through this. Tell her that she deserves better and her life has so much value- if she does something, it will definitely affect a lot of people who deeply care for her. Encourage her to talk to someone she is close to. You can also consider alerting someone in your circle who knows the both of you and can help in this situation.
I understand how exhausting it must be to be held emotionally hostage, but since the issue is self-harm, it is best to take things seriously. You might not be able to fix it for her, but you can be kind. If she persists, please consider alerting her family. And if you are overwhelmed, please share the concerns with someone you trust. It must be difficult to carry all the burden alone.
Hope this helps.
(more)
I am sorry that you are in this difficult situation; it sounds very emotionally draining. Now coming to your question, I cannot give you advice from the legal point of view but I can give you the human pov.- even though you are not responsible for anyone’s mental health, you can still be kind and helpful when someone is at a low point in their lives. You can start by telling her that you care about her, but the romantic relationship is over. And even though you two are not a couple, you will still help her get through this. Tell her that she deserves better and her life has so much value- if she does something, it will definitely affect a lot of people who deeply care for her. Encourage her to talk to someone she is close to. You can also consider alerting someone in your circle who knows the both of you and can help in this situation.
I understand how exhausting it must be to be held emotionally hostage, but since the issue is self-harm, it is best to take things seriously. You might not be able to fix it for her, but you can be kind. If she persists, please consider alerting her family. And if you are overwhelmed, please share the concerns with someone you trust. It must be difficult to carry all the burden alone.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Apr 15, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2025Hindi
Confused After Breakup: Rebound With Best Friend After Insecurity-Ridden Relationship - What Should I Do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it must be difficult to lose a long-term relationship. Also, when you had a rebound, you were in an emotionally vulnerable place. Your friend could have politely rejected any advances because you might not have been in the right head space to think- then again, I do not want to jump to conclusions and place the blame on someone. Now, about your confusion- if you think that continuing this with your best friend can ruin your friendship, you might want to rethink it. If you think there are feelings involved, you should talk clearly about it and start by mentioning that whether they feel the same way about you or not will not affect your friendship. Once you get clarity on what page you both are on, you can start thinking about what's the next step.
Hope this helps
(more)
I understand that it must be difficult to lose a long-term relationship. Also, when you had a rebound, you were in an emotionally vulnerable place. Your friend could have politely rejected any advances because you might not have been in the right head space to think- then again, I do not want to jump to conclusions and place the blame on someone. Now, about your confusion- if you think that continuing this with your best friend can ruin your friendship, you might want to rethink it. If you think there are feelings involved, you should talk clearly about it and start by mentioning that whether they feel the same way about you or not will not affect your friendship. Once you get clarity on what page you both are on, you can start thinking about what's the next step.
Hope this helps
1
Answered on Apr 14, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2025Hindi
Should I separate from my husband to ease our financial burden?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how stressed you must be; financial problems are indeed very difficult to deal with. First of all, let me remind you that you are not just a housewife- you are a homemaker. You raise your kids, and manage the entire household. It is not an easy task, so do not sell yourself short. And is separating with your husband going to change anything? Your children will suffer and if it isn’t an unhappy marriage, your husband will suffer greatly too. So I want to ask, did you ever consider applying for jobs? Not trying to pressurize you, but it might make you feel more helpful. Think about that- it can be any job; you can start small and slowly climb the ladder. Moreover, please speak to your spouse. If anyways he has made you feel like a burden, I want you to keep reminding yourself that your job as a homemaker is no less than his job as the breadwinner.
Hope this helps.
(more)
I understand how stressed you must be; financial problems are indeed very difficult to deal with. First of all, let me remind you that you are not just a housewife- you are a homemaker. You raise your kids, and manage the entire household. It is not an easy task, so do not sell yourself short. And is separating with your husband going to change anything? Your children will suffer and if it isn’t an unhappy marriage, your husband will suffer greatly too. So I want to ask, did you ever consider applying for jobs? Not trying to pressurize you, but it might make you feel more helpful. Think about that- it can be any job; you can start small and slowly climb the ladder. Moreover, please speak to your spouse. If anyways he has made you feel like a burden, I want you to keep reminding yourself that your job as a homemaker is no less than his job as the breadwinner.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Apr 11, 2025
Stuck in 10-year relationship with betrayal and uncertainty: What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anjana,
I totally understand your pain and your concern. Whether it went farther than what he claims does not matter; the fact that he was involved, physically or emotionally, with another woman makes it completely wrong on his part- there is no excuse for that. Coming to the waiting part- I would really suggest you reconsider waiting for him any longer. You have waited and in the meantime, he has been cheating on you. Plus, he is still not giving you any assurance. It’s best that you reconsider this relationship. You deserve much better. And even if it takes you some time to find someone else, it would be far better than living your life with a man who could not respect and love you enough to remain loyal or think about your feelings.
Please think about this before you make any decision. Hope this helps.
(more)
I totally understand your pain and your concern. Whether it went farther than what he claims does not matter; the fact that he was involved, physically or emotionally, with another woman makes it completely wrong on his part- there is no excuse for that. Coming to the waiting part- I would really suggest you reconsider waiting for him any longer. You have waited and in the meantime, he has been cheating on you. Plus, he is still not giving you any assurance. It’s best that you reconsider this relationship. You deserve much better. And even if it takes you some time to find someone else, it would be far better than living your life with a man who could not respect and love you enough to remain loyal or think about your feelings.
Please think about this before you make any decision. Hope this helps.
Answered on Apr 11, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025
Hello, I want to talk to a girl. I don't want to marry her but still want to talk to her. I don't want to love her but still want to talk to her lovingly. I want to share my every feeling with her. I want to sleep in her lap. I want to limit myself to kisses and don't even want to love her. How do I tell her all this?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You can tell her exactly the way you told me. The thing is that your requirements are very specific and if you wish to be in such a relationship with someone, you need to openly and clearly tell them what you want. There should be no room for misinterpretation or assumptions which can hurt the other person later on. Your potential partner should know what they are getting into and how much they can expect from you. And if you both are on the same page, there you go.
Best Wishes.
(more)
You can tell her exactly the way you told me. The thing is that your requirements are very specific and if you wish to be in such a relationship with someone, you need to openly and clearly tell them what you want. There should be no room for misinterpretation or assumptions which can hurt the other person later on. Your potential partner should know what they are getting into and how much they can expect from you. And if you both are on the same page, there you go.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Apr 11, 2025
Divorced and Directionless: Should I Stay or Go?
Ans: Dear Ajay,
I would suggest you speak to a lawyer on how to legally go around this. On a more emotional level, I can advise you to keep to yourself. I am not able to be of much help without knowing a little more detail about your situation.
Best Wishes.
(more)
I would suggest you speak to a lawyer on how to legally go around this. On a more emotional level, I can advise you to keep to yourself. I am not able to be of much help without knowing a little more detail about your situation.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Apr 09, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 08, 2025Hindi
Confused: My friend's wife flirted for years, now ignores me – what's going on?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are dealing with something very emotionally confusing and sensitive. But, from the very beginning it has been wrong, don’t you think? I don’t want to assume that you flirted back or indulged in the behavior, but to begin with, the dynamics were off, given she’s your friend’s wife. Chances are she realized that it wasn’t right, and decided to rectify it by setting boundaries. If that’s the case, I would advise you to respect the boundaries and do not push her or over-pursue her. I would also suggest you reflect on why it bothers you so much?
If you still want answers, you can ask her but very carefully- for instance, “I noticed that we don’t talk much these days. Is there something bothering you? If so, I totally understand and respect your decision. I just wanted to know if I did anything wrong.” This way you are not putting the blame on her.
Hope this helps.
(more)
I understand that you are dealing with something very emotionally confusing and sensitive. But, from the very beginning it has been wrong, don’t you think? I don’t want to assume that you flirted back or indulged in the behavior, but to begin with, the dynamics were off, given she’s your friend’s wife. Chances are she realized that it wasn’t right, and decided to rectify it by setting boundaries. If that’s the case, I would advise you to respect the boundaries and do not push her or over-pursue her. I would also suggest you reflect on why it bothers you so much?
If you still want answers, you can ask her but very carefully- for instance, “I noticed that we don’t talk much these days. Is there something bothering you? If so, I totally understand and respect your decision. I just wanted to know if I did anything wrong.” This way you are not putting the blame on her.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Apr 07, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 07, 2025Hindi
Ready for marriage, but partner isn't: 29-year-old woman seeks advice
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are right; it does sound like he is stalling, but then again, we might be wrong. The best way to gain clarity is to ask him about it. Asking directly might cause a conflict, so do it in a more subtle way- ask him where he sees himself in 5 years. If he does not mention you in his plans, it would be an indication that he is not serious about the relationship. And keep note of small things like if he is making small-term plans with him, like a travel plan 3 months later or long-term plans, like a friend’s wedding that will happen one and half years later. These small details can help you get a rough idea of what he is up to. But I want you to remember that all of these are just speculations. You can take your speculations, put it on the table and have a clear discussion.
I hope these help.
(more)
You are right; it does sound like he is stalling, but then again, we might be wrong. The best way to gain clarity is to ask him about it. Asking directly might cause a conflict, so do it in a more subtle way- ask him where he sees himself in 5 years. If he does not mention you in his plans, it would be an indication that he is not serious about the relationship. And keep note of small things like if he is making small-term plans with him, like a travel plan 3 months later or long-term plans, like a friend’s wedding that will happen one and half years later. These small details can help you get a rough idea of what he is up to. But I want you to remember that all of these are just speculations. You can take your speculations, put it on the table and have a clear discussion.
I hope these help.
Answered on Apr 07, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi
Should I tell my sister I love her husband?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am not sure what suggestion you are asking for here? But, in general, gay or straight, being in love with your sister’s husband is morally wrong. He is your sister’s husband; if you plan to pursue this feeling, then you must understand that you will be intentionally hurting your sister and coming from a sibling, this will break her heart. Even if we look at it from a 100 different perspectives, you’d still be wrong, and I want you to understand that this has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. I understand that people cannot control their feelings, but what you do with it and how you act on it makes all the difference.
Best Wishes
(more)
I am not sure what suggestion you are asking for here? But, in general, gay or straight, being in love with your sister’s husband is morally wrong. He is your sister’s husband; if you plan to pursue this feeling, then you must understand that you will be intentionally hurting your sister and coming from a sibling, this will break her heart. Even if we look at it from a 100 different perspectives, you’d still be wrong, and I want you to understand that this has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. I understand that people cannot control their feelings, but what you do with it and how you act on it makes all the difference.
Best Wishes
Answered on Apr 07, 2025
My GF Is Forced Into Marriage, Lost Hope - Can I Help?
Ans: Dear Solar,
I understand how difficult it must be for you to go through all of this- please stay strong. Coming to your question whether your GF gave her 100% to stop this wedding- no one, other than her, can truly answer this question. If you doubt it, you can ask her, but I don’t think that will help at all. Right now, your only focus should be on your wellbeing. If there is a chance to stop this wedding, it is on her. You really are not in a position to do anything about it. I know it is frustrating, but that’s the truth. If you try anything, you might ruin her relationship with her parents.
You have to focus on keeping your mind off her and the wedding and focus on yourself. Surround yourself with your loved ones. Try to pursue a hobby, keep yourself busy, and focus on your studies/career. I understand that you have anxiety and seeing a counselor about it can help more than you can imagine. But if you are not ready for it, for now, do the things I asked you to do.
Best Wishes.
(more)
I understand how difficult it must be for you to go through all of this- please stay strong. Coming to your question whether your GF gave her 100% to stop this wedding- no one, other than her, can truly answer this question. If you doubt it, you can ask her, but I don’t think that will help at all. Right now, your only focus should be on your wellbeing. If there is a chance to stop this wedding, it is on her. You really are not in a position to do anything about it. I know it is frustrating, but that’s the truth. If you try anything, you might ruin her relationship with her parents.
You have to focus on keeping your mind off her and the wedding and focus on yourself. Surround yourself with your loved ones. Try to pursue a hobby, keep yourself busy, and focus on your studies/career. I understand that you have anxiety and seeing a counselor about it can help more than you can imagine. But if you are not ready for it, for now, do the things I asked you to do.
Best Wishes.
1
Answered on Apr 07, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2025Hindi
2-Year Age Gap: Should I Ask Out My Older Neighbor Crush?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
While age does not matter in love, especially a two year age gap, it is still a preference that varies from person to person. Now, let’s say your neighbor doesn’t have a problem with your age, do you know if she has similar feelings for you? Instead of thinking how to make her your GF, first figure out how you can express your feelings for her and how to find out if she has the same feelings for you. The only way to do that is slowly telling her about it and noticing how she reacts. But I want you to remember that reaction is not everything. She must verbally confirm that she feels for you too, or else there will always remain some room for misinterpretation.
Hope this helps.
(more)
While age does not matter in love, especially a two year age gap, it is still a preference that varies from person to person. Now, let’s say your neighbor doesn’t have a problem with your age, do you know if she has similar feelings for you? Instead of thinking how to make her your GF, first figure out how you can express your feelings for her and how to find out if she has the same feelings for you. The only way to do that is slowly telling her about it and noticing how she reacts. But I want you to remember that reaction is not everything. She must verbally confirm that she feels for you too, or else there will always remain some room for misinterpretation.
Hope this helps.
1
Answered on Apr 07, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2025Hindi
31-Year-Old Woman Rejected After Investing Time and Emotion: What Should She Do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must be confusing- you spoke to him and from your perspective, things went smoothly and yet they dropped the proposal abruptly. But here’s the catch- it might not have been the same experience for him. As you mentioned, you had basic conversations; is it possible that he was hoping to connect with you more in the three weeks’ time? We can’t say for sure what was the reason, but one thing I can tell you is that you deserve someone who does not need convincing to marry you. I know you were invested in him, but it is much better to lose those three weeks than settle for a marriage where both partners are not on the same page. Please understand your worth. I can’t stop you from contacting him or asking them what went wrong, but I can certainly advise you against it. You will get better alliances. Also, I want you to understand that you are only 31; you are still so young. Do not settle for anything less than the one who's best for you!
Best Wishes.
(more)
I understand it must be confusing- you spoke to him and from your perspective, things went smoothly and yet they dropped the proposal abruptly. But here’s the catch- it might not have been the same experience for him. As you mentioned, you had basic conversations; is it possible that he was hoping to connect with you more in the three weeks’ time? We can’t say for sure what was the reason, but one thing I can tell you is that you deserve someone who does not need convincing to marry you. I know you were invested in him, but it is much better to lose those three weeks than settle for a marriage where both partners are not on the same page. Please understand your worth. I can’t stop you from contacting him or asking them what went wrong, but I can certainly advise you against it. You will get better alliances. Also, I want you to understand that you are only 31; you are still so young. Do not settle for anything less than the one who's best for you!
Best Wishes.
1
Answered on Apr 07, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 02, 2025
I had my first boyfriend, we were together for 3 years and had physical relationship but he was cheating on me and he did not want to marry me, so I distanced myself from him and after some time a boy liked me and fell in love with me He knows every single detail about my past, even about some physical relations, still he loved me but now when I am in a relationship with him, he keeps bringing up my past again and again and says that I am not able to forget him.
Ab m kya karu mujhe kuch smjh nhi aa rha h
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you were honest and transparent about your relationship history and he was okay with it, then you have nothing to worry about. His problems with your past are his problems; it’s not on you. First of all, it should not matter. Secondly, in case it does matter to him, you were completely honest about it from the beginning. If he is creating issues, he must take some time to sort it out. Making you feel guilty about it is not the solution nor the right approach. Please communicate the same to him, but in a kind and polite way, because even if it is not right, he might still be genuinely hurting. Give him the time and scope to sort things out in his mind. If this continues to be an issue, you might want to rethink the relationship. You don’t want to live the rest of your life with this same conversation going on in a loop.
Hope this helps.
(more)
If you were honest and transparent about your relationship history and he was okay with it, then you have nothing to worry about. His problems with your past are his problems; it’s not on you. First of all, it should not matter. Secondly, in case it does matter to him, you were completely honest about it from the beginning. If he is creating issues, he must take some time to sort it out. Making you feel guilty about it is not the solution nor the right approach. Please communicate the same to him, but in a kind and polite way, because even if it is not right, he might still be genuinely hurting. Give him the time and scope to sort things out in his mind. If this continues to be an issue, you might want to rethink the relationship. You don’t want to live the rest of your life with this same conversation going on in a loop.
Hope this helps.
2
Answered on Apr 04, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2025Hindi
Distant Girlfriend Suddenly Unavailable: Advice for a Worried Partner?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Did you contact anyone who lives near your partner? More than any other concerns, you should be worried why the calls and messages are not going through. Try contacting her or any family member or friend who knows about you. The situation does not add up given how regularly you both used to communicate. I hope she is safe and contacts you soon.
Best Wishes.
(more)
Did you contact anyone who lives near your partner? More than any other concerns, you should be worried why the calls and messages are not going through. Try contacting her or any family member or friend who knows about you. The situation does not add up given how regularly you both used to communicate. I hope she is safe and contacts you soon.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Apr 03, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025
I am married but I find my neighbour very hot. He recently smiled at me and since then I am unable to resist talking to him. Is it normal to be attracted to a male after you're married?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Being married doesn’t turn off your ability to appreciate good looks of people other than your partner but it is only okay up to a certain point. Most of the time, these attractions are fleeting and what really matters is how you handle them. But while we are at this discussion, I would remind you that your marriage or partner might not seem as interesting and exciting right now, but it is much more than that. Long-term relationships can become mundane. It is important to address anything that you might be lacking in this relationship- is the excitement missing? Do you need more emotional support or maybe more time and attention? N number of things can trigger what you are feeling right now, and at the same time, this can be stemming from nothing and you simply found another human being good looking. But I would still recommend healthy boundaries even if your intentions are completely pure.
Hope this helps.
(more)
Being married doesn’t turn off your ability to appreciate good looks of people other than your partner but it is only okay up to a certain point. Most of the time, these attractions are fleeting and what really matters is how you handle them. But while we are at this discussion, I would remind you that your marriage or partner might not seem as interesting and exciting right now, but it is much more than that. Long-term relationships can become mundane. It is important to address anything that you might be lacking in this relationship- is the excitement missing? Do you need more emotional support or maybe more time and attention? N number of things can trigger what you are feeling right now, and at the same time, this can be stemming from nothing and you simply found another human being good looking. But I would still recommend healthy boundaries even if your intentions are completely pure.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Apr 03, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025
My boyfriend is hitting on my sister. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry you are in this situation. It’s really tough to see your partner flirting with someone, especially your own siblings. It is a huge red flag and there is only one right suggestion- rethink the relationship. You deserve much much better than this.
Best Wishes.
(more)
I am sorry you are in this situation. It’s really tough to see your partner flirting with someone, especially your own siblings. It is a huge red flag and there is only one right suggestion- rethink the relationship. You deserve much much better than this.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Mar 31, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2025Hindi
My Crush Asked About Me After 5 Years - Should I Reach Out?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Like you mentioned, it is very normal for old friends to enquire about each other, especially if they have not been in touch for a long time. It might be the same in this case. The only way to tell for sure is to ask her. If you are interested in reconnecting, you can think about the same and ask her once you are back in talking terms. But I would recommend not assuming anything and getting your hopes up.
Best Wishes.
(more)
Like you mentioned, it is very normal for old friends to enquire about each other, especially if they have not been in touch for a long time. It might be the same in this case. The only way to tell for sure is to ask her. If you are interested in reconnecting, you can think about the same and ask her once you are back in talking terms. But I would recommend not assuming anything and getting your hopes up.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Mar 27, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025
I am a girl who wants to have sex who also a virgin like me..but I already give it to my boyfriend cause I thought his the one but after the cuddle he told me that he already did that on his ex should I accept it??even its hurt to hear??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How can someone else tell whether you should or should not accept something? It depends on your values and desires. And what you want does not align with what you got- if that bothers you then you can rethink this. But also consider this one thing- what if your next partner treats you the same way? Would that be okay? Do you think these factors should matter in a relationship? Think hard on this and make your choice.
Hope this helps.
(more)
How can someone else tell whether you should or should not accept something? It depends on your values and desires. And what you want does not align with what you got- if that bothers you then you can rethink this. But also consider this one thing- what if your next partner treats you the same way? Would that be okay? Do you think these factors should matter in a relationship? Think hard on this and make your choice.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Mar 25, 2025
My Boyfriend Hates My Music Video?
Ans: Dear Srijal,
If you know there is nothing awkward or controversial about the scenes, keep your head held high. The most you can do here is ask your partner what is it about the situation that’s bothering him so much- if his answer sounds reasonable, you can try to clarify things. But if it is simply his mindset or nature that is making the entire situation more complicated than it is, please rethink this relationship. This might repeat with several other innocent situations.
Hope this helps
(more)
If you know there is nothing awkward or controversial about the scenes, keep your head held high. The most you can do here is ask your partner what is it about the situation that’s bothering him so much- if his answer sounds reasonable, you can try to clarify things. But if it is simply his mindset or nature that is making the entire situation more complicated than it is, please rethink this relationship. This might repeat with several other innocent situations.
Hope this helps
Answered on Mar 24, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi
Hindu Girl in Love with Muslim Boy: What Should I Do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It depends on how important religion is to you and your family. If you think it can cause a lot of problems later, if and when you both tell your parents about your relationship, then I would suggest avoiding this. He might love you now, but would he be able to stand up to his family when the time comes? Ask him that and think about it yourself as well before making any decision.
Best Wishes.
(more)
It depends on how important religion is to you and your family. If you think it can cause a lot of problems later, if and when you both tell your parents about your relationship, then I would suggest avoiding this. He might love you now, but would he be able to stand up to his family when the time comes? Ask him that and think about it yourself as well before making any decision.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Mar 24, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2025Hindi
He's perfect for me, but different: how do I convince my parents?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry you are standing in such a tricky situation. First of all, I want to know if you have a job? If yes, would two people's salaries together provide a comfortable life? If not, do you think his salary alone will cut it in this economy?
I want you to ask yourself the same questions. If you do not have a job yet, I would urge you to try for one. Financial independence is extremely important, especially for women. Now, I cannot comment on the caste thing, because the seriousness of that differs from family to family, but if it is earning that is bothering your parents, you can wait a bit and aim for a higher-salaried job and pitch in the same idea. Or at least, show your parents that you and your parents are willing to put in the work. Their concerns about income are not completely baseless, because once life becomes uncomfortable, love can take a backseat. Focus on building a better career and then get married. Do this for yourself, and not just for your parents.
Hope this helps
(more)
I am sorry you are standing in such a tricky situation. First of all, I want to know if you have a job? If yes, would two people's salaries together provide a comfortable life? If not, do you think his salary alone will cut it in this economy?
I want you to ask yourself the same questions. If you do not have a job yet, I would urge you to try for one. Financial independence is extremely important, especially for women. Now, I cannot comment on the caste thing, because the seriousness of that differs from family to family, but if it is earning that is bothering your parents, you can wait a bit and aim for a higher-salaried job and pitch in the same idea. Or at least, show your parents that you and your parents are willing to put in the work. Their concerns about income are not completely baseless, because once life becomes uncomfortable, love can take a backseat. Focus on building a better career and then get married. Do this for yourself, and not just for your parents.
Hope this helps
1
Answered on Mar 21, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025Hindi
28-Year-Old Introverted Male Seeking Advice on Marriage and Avoiding Gold Diggers
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand where your concerns stem from; and just like you said, women have equal concerns, if not more. But look at all the marriages around you- are they all bad? I would say focus on the good things. And about smoking and drinking- people have their own preferences. Some like it and some don't. I am sure there are many women who are dead against any form of addiction and they can be a good match for you. Having said it all, I would also like to say that you should not get married till you are mentally prepared for it. If it scares you so much right now, it would not be the right decision to get involved with someone and end up projecting your fears on them and doubting them for no reason. Take your time and observe other relationships- see the happy side of it and try to gauge if you want that. I would also say that love marriage might work better for you, because it will have slightly less "surprise element" to it.
But again, do not rush. Let it happen organically. You are only 28.
Hope this helps
(more)
I understand where your concerns stem from; and just like you said, women have equal concerns, if not more. But look at all the marriages around you- are they all bad? I would say focus on the good things. And about smoking and drinking- people have their own preferences. Some like it and some don't. I am sure there are many women who are dead against any form of addiction and they can be a good match for you. Having said it all, I would also like to say that you should not get married till you are mentally prepared for it. If it scares you so much right now, it would not be the right decision to get involved with someone and end up projecting your fears on them and doubting them for no reason. Take your time and observe other relationships- see the happy side of it and try to gauge if you want that. I would also say that love marriage might work better for you, because it will have slightly less "surprise element" to it.
But again, do not rush. Let it happen organically. You are only 28.
Hope this helps
1
Answered on Mar 19, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2025Hindi
Should I Break Up with My Boyfriend Who Texted Another Woman While Planning Our Wedding?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.
Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.
Hope this helps.
(more)
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.
Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Mar 19, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 21, 2025Hindi
Loving a Sikh girl but from SC community - Should I reveal my sub-caste?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you think it can impact her feelings for you, then you should definitely tell her, or else, it wouldn't be fair to either of you. I am sure she will love you regardless of your caste, subcaste, or any other factors.
Best Wishes.
(more)
If you think it can impact her feelings for you, then you should definitely tell her, or else, it wouldn't be fair to either of you. I am sure she will love you regardless of your caste, subcaste, or any other factors.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Mar 19, 2025
I like a Girl quiet very much, I don't know her side of feelings for me. We both are in college and spend quiet good and long time like whole whole days whenever we plan, cafe hopping gossiping. I fear losing friendship if I outrightly propose her without knowing her side, how to know her side? Like if she likes me or not?
I doubt she sees me as best friend only because, though we are quiet close but everytime hinting at some boys who like her she knows she has twice or thrice said, "No to any relationship for now" and she is mostly quiet clear in her mind about what she does not want.
Ans: Dear BITSMUN,
The only way to know for sure is to ask. Without verbal confirmation, there is never 100% surety. Other than that, there are signs if a person likes you romantically- it is more of a gut feeling. Did you ever feel she likes you more than a friend? When in doubt, use a hypothetical situation. Tell her to imagine that you two are dating and ask if she thinks you will make a good couple. See how she reacts. It should give you a rough idea. But the best method is still to be an adult and admit you have some feelings, but let her know that you won't pursue it if she doesn't feel the same way.
Hope this helps.
(more)
The only way to know for sure is to ask. Without verbal confirmation, there is never 100% surety. Other than that, there are signs if a person likes you romantically- it is more of a gut feeling. Did you ever feel she likes you more than a friend? When in doubt, use a hypothetical situation. Tell her to imagine that you two are dating and ask if she thinks you will make a good couple. See how she reacts. It should give you a rough idea. But the best method is still to be an adult and admit you have some feelings, but let her know that you won't pursue it if she doesn't feel the same way.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Mar 17, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 14, 2025Hindi
Can a Long-distance Relationship Started Online with a Neighboring State Guy Work? 21-year-old Indian Woman Seeks Advice
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A lot of successful love stories start online but they do not go anywhere if it stays online. Before making any kind of commitment you must meet the person IRL. And before meeting him IRL, you must take safety precautions in case things don't go as expected. If you plan to meet, you must inform the time, place, and location to your parents and close friends, always pick a public space that is bustling with people, and if you feel even remotely uncomfortable or your instinct says the date's not going well, feel free to get out without any guilt. Safety comes first.
Best Wishes.
(more)
A lot of successful love stories start online but they do not go anywhere if it stays online. Before making any kind of commitment you must meet the person IRL. And before meeting him IRL, you must take safety precautions in case things don't go as expected. If you plan to meet, you must inform the time, place, and location to your parents and close friends, always pick a public space that is bustling with people, and if you feel even remotely uncomfortable or your instinct says the date's not going well, feel free to get out without any guilt. Safety comes first.
Best Wishes.
1
Answered on Mar 13, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 12, 2025Hindi
Hindu Woman in Love with Muslim Man Facing Interfaith Marriage Obstacles: What Should She Do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how hard it is to let someone you love go, but if indeed there is no way for him to convince his parents or there is no future for your relationship, it is best to move on. I know it's much easier said than done, but things will get better with time. Focus on yourself, and take small steps- like surround yourself with people who love and care for you, spend more time with your family and friends, pick up a hobby, focus on your studies or career, travel, go out for movies, try new cuisine. While all of these are ways to keep yourself distracted, with time you will find how much these have helped you grow. It's important to give yourself time to heal.
Best Wishes.
(more)
I understand how hard it is to let someone you love go, but if indeed there is no way for him to convince his parents or there is no future for your relationship, it is best to move on. I know it's much easier said than done, but things will get better with time. Focus on yourself, and take small steps- like surround yourself with people who love and care for you, spend more time with your family and friends, pick up a hobby, focus on your studies or career, travel, go out for movies, try new cuisine. While all of these are ways to keep yourself distracted, with time you will find how much these have helped you grow. It's important to give yourself time to heal.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Mar 10, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025Hindi
Shy 18-Year-Old Seeks Advice on Approaching and Talking to Girls
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand what you are looking for and the best way to get there is baby steps. You can start by putting yourself a little out of your comfort zone every day- for instance, if you like someone, even as a friend, say your HIs and Hellos and try to make a conversation. It might be difficult at first, but you will get better at it soon. Then once you like a girl in more than friendly ways, you will be prepared for an interaction- you can start with a simple hi, and discuss matters that interest both of you. You can ask her out for coffee, and it does not have to be a date immediately. Make her feel comfortable around you and if she signals some form of boundaries, respect them. Rest, there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. You are perfect the way you are.
Best Wishes.
(more)
I understand what you are looking for and the best way to get there is baby steps. You can start by putting yourself a little out of your comfort zone every day- for instance, if you like someone, even as a friend, say your HIs and Hellos and try to make a conversation. It might be difficult at first, but you will get better at it soon. Then once you like a girl in more than friendly ways, you will be prepared for an interaction- you can start with a simple hi, and discuss matters that interest both of you. You can ask her out for coffee, and it does not have to be a date immediately. Make her feel comfortable around you and if she signals some form of boundaries, respect them. Rest, there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. You are perfect the way you are.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Mar 10, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 08, 2025Hindi
Should I stay with my boyfriend who can't accept my past?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry that you are in such a tricky situation. It looks like you already know that your past is not your fault, so I don't have to remind you of that. I just want you to keep reminding yourself the same thing whenever you feel the doubts creeping in. Now, coming to your partner- though it is a little unfair that he is judging you by your past, it would also be unfair to him because he clearly mentioned that he wants someone like himself; someone without any intimate experience. I cannot explain to you why that is important to so many people, but since he has been upfront about his preference, I think it is only fair to let him decide what he wants with this relationship. Also, if he is convinced that this past thing will cause problems in the future, it really isn't the best decision to move on with the relationship like everything is okay. Accept that things are not alright, and give him the space to cool down. Do not try to convince him to get back together- I know it will be hard but it is extremely important for both your futures. If he comes back, then great. If he doesn't, you should know that it's for the best.
I know you think your life will be messed up without him, and you will forever be sad, but you are wrong. It won't. Great things will happen to you because you deserve them all.
Best Wishes.
(more)
I am really sorry that you are in such a tricky situation. It looks like you already know that your past is not your fault, so I don't have to remind you of that. I just want you to keep reminding yourself the same thing whenever you feel the doubts creeping in. Now, coming to your partner- though it is a little unfair that he is judging you by your past, it would also be unfair to him because he clearly mentioned that he wants someone like himself; someone without any intimate experience. I cannot explain to you why that is important to so many people, but since he has been upfront about his preference, I think it is only fair to let him decide what he wants with this relationship. Also, if he is convinced that this past thing will cause problems in the future, it really isn't the best decision to move on with the relationship like everything is okay. Accept that things are not alright, and give him the space to cool down. Do not try to convince him to get back together- I know it will be hard but it is extremely important for both your futures. If he comes back, then great. If he doesn't, you should know that it's for the best.
I know you think your life will be messed up without him, and you will forever be sad, but you are wrong. It won't. Great things will happen to you because you deserve them all.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Mar 06, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2025Hindi
28yo Indian IT Professional Seeking Advice on Resisting Marriage Pressure
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concern, and if you do not wish to get married, you should not. People will continue to tell you that everything will be fine, and maybe it will be fine, but if you are not mentally prepared for marriage, you should never go ahead with it.
Try to express your concerns and let your family know that the thought of marriage does not make you happy. If they still insist, ask them how they would feel if the marriage doesn't work out and you not only end up alone but also have a divorced tag on you. I want you to understand that their insistence is coming from a place of love and concern but I would still suggest you not to get married till you are ready.
Best wishes.
(more)
I understand your concern, and if you do not wish to get married, you should not. People will continue to tell you that everything will be fine, and maybe it will be fine, but if you are not mentally prepared for marriage, you should never go ahead with it.
Try to express your concerns and let your family know that the thought of marriage does not make you happy. If they still insist, ask them how they would feel if the marriage doesn't work out and you not only end up alone but also have a divorced tag on you. I want you to understand that their insistence is coming from a place of love and concern but I would still suggest you not to get married till you are ready.
Best wishes.
Answered on Mar 05, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 04, 2025Hindi
Dating an older woman: Seeking advice for convincing strict parents?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
In today's date, age difference is not a big deal, especially 1.5 years, but I do see where your concern stems from. It can be tricky to convince parents and more so strict parents. But I believe if you explain to them how happy she makes you, how compatible you both are, they should understand. You have to start somewhere. Plus both of you are established adults. And, parents can surprise us too. It's possible that they might not react as badly as you are imagining. Start the convincing process. It will work out.
I suggest starting with the positives. The age thing is not important and that’s exactly how you should treat it. Bring it up casually in between conversations. I am sure they will ask why you had not started with it. To which, you should answer as nonchalantly as possible, making them realize that age is not a deciding factor in today’s relationship.
Hope this helps.
Best Wishes
(more)
In today's date, age difference is not a big deal, especially 1.5 years, but I do see where your concern stems from. It can be tricky to convince parents and more so strict parents. But I believe if you explain to them how happy she makes you, how compatible you both are, they should understand. You have to start somewhere. Plus both of you are established adults. And, parents can surprise us too. It's possible that they might not react as badly as you are imagining. Start the convincing process. It will work out.
I suggest starting with the positives. The age thing is not important and that’s exactly how you should treat it. Bring it up casually in between conversations. I am sure they will ask why you had not started with it. To which, you should answer as nonchalantly as possible, making them realize that age is not a deciding factor in today’s relationship.
Hope this helps.
Best Wishes
Answered on Mar 04, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025Hindi
Getting Married in 2025: Fearful of Financial Burden
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am not sure if you are looking for financial advice or relationship, but the general rule of thumb is that if you have any worries when you think of getting married, it's best to take things slow. As for the financial burden of getting married, it is important for both partners to contribute and shoulder the responsibilities. Things are much easier when
Hope this helps
(more)
I am not sure if you are looking for financial advice or relationship, but the general rule of thumb is that if you have any worries when you think of getting married, it's best to take things slow. As for the financial burden of getting married, it is important for both partners to contribute and shoulder the responsibilities. Things are much easier when
Hope this helps
Answered on Mar 04, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025
Hi,i am a female,i have had a lot of sexual intercourse before, and now I'm dating a guy who is a virgin,i told him the truth and he accepted me and we are in our second year of dating, i still can't get rid of the guilt i have for not being able to give him my virginity,what hurts me the most is, when my exes see and know about my boyfriend and me,they will laugh at him for dating someone like me, someone they once fucked,what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I get that it's tricky but you have to understand that it's all in your head. Your exes might not even care, or even if they do, it does not matter. Your present partner doesn't have an issue with your past, and neither should you. What you are concerned about is a mere social construct. So every time you feel this way, make yourself understand that there's nothing to be guilty about.
Best Wishes.
(more)
I get that it's tricky but you have to understand that it's all in your head. Your exes might not even care, or even if they do, it does not matter. Your present partner doesn't have an issue with your past, and neither should you. What you are concerned about is a mere social construct. So every time you feel this way, make yourself understand that there's nothing to be guilty about.
Best Wishes.
2
Answered on Feb 28, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 25, 2025Hindi
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Shy Engineering Student: How to Make a Move on a Classmate?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know these are exciting years, and at this age, you are bound to feel attracted to people. However, it is also important to understand the meaning of boundaries and consent from a young age. If she has deleted your request, it only translates to one thing- she is not ready to let you into her inner circle. Some people are quite private about their social media. If she wanted you to be a part of it, she would add you herself. She sounds like a private person who likes to keep to herself. I would advise you to respect her boundaries. Speak to her as a friend. If there has to be something more than that, it will happen organically. Don't push it.
Hope this helps.
(more)
I know these are exciting years, and at this age, you are bound to feel attracted to people. However, it is also important to understand the meaning of boundaries and consent from a young age. If she has deleted your request, it only translates to one thing- she is not ready to let you into her inner circle. Some people are quite private about their social media. If she wanted you to be a part of it, she would add you herself. She sounds like a private person who likes to keep to herself. I would advise you to respect her boundaries. Speak to her as a friend. If there has to be something more than that, it will happen organically. Don't push it.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Feb 28, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2025Hindi
Seeking Advice: Confused About Boyfriend s Sudden Change After 4 Months
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry that this happened to you, but think about it this way- this happened now, but this could have happened after getting married. I know that it shouldn't have happened to begin with, but since it has already, it's better to look at it from a positive perspective. Why it happened is difficult to say. It is possible that he didn't really know the real you and was expecting you to be someone you are not. And once he realized the truth, he thought ending it now would be better for both of you. I am not sure why he did what he did, but I can tell you that there is no point in thinking about the "why" of the matter. Focus on moving on. I know you were getting attached but it's time to look forward and build a better future. Take some time off this matchmaking thing, and focus on yourself. And once you think you are ready, get back to it with a fresh and positive mind. I want you to understand that not everyone would turn out to be like him.
Best Wishes.
(more)
I am really sorry that this happened to you, but think about it this way- this happened now, but this could have happened after getting married. I know that it shouldn't have happened to begin with, but since it has already, it's better to look at it from a positive perspective. Why it happened is difficult to say. It is possible that he didn't really know the real you and was expecting you to be someone you are not. And once he realized the truth, he thought ending it now would be better for both of you. I am not sure why he did what he did, but I can tell you that there is no point in thinking about the "why" of the matter. Focus on moving on. I know you were getting attached but it's time to look forward and build a better future. Take some time off this matchmaking thing, and focus on yourself. And once you think you are ready, get back to it with a fresh and positive mind. I want you to understand that not everyone would turn out to be like him.
Best Wishes.
Answered on Feb 24, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2025
I am a 24 year old woman. I had been texting to a guy on a dating app. We started chatting on Instagram. We even shared n*des mutually. We had agreed that we will only meet up for casual s*x, and the meeting was due in May. But, I began having feelings for him, I don't know how, because we never met in real life. Twice, he had forgiven me for going extra fast on the chatting thing. But the third time, when I confessed to him, my feelings, he blocked me on Instagram. I have tried messaging and sending follow request on Instagram, through my mother's account, but that was useless. I have been messaging him on Bumble as well, I think he hasn't blocked me from there yet. We were tuning-in good. He's from Delhi, am from Patna. Please help. Because forgetting him is not an easy task. I JUST CANNOT. Even when I'm doing something completely different, there are signs, that I see and feel, we will meet someday. His name appears or something like that. Tell me, will I meet him ever?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When a person you have never met blocks you, it usually means that they are not interested in staying in touch with you. Now, I realize that it is hard to move on or the sudden loss of contact can be difficult to cope with, but it is important that you respect his boundaries. If he has blocked you, that only means he is not interested in interacting; constantly trying to get in touch with him not only lowers your self-respect but you are also ignoring his boundaries. Please wait for a while. If you mean anything to him, he will contact you. And if he doesn't, you should understand that this connection was never meant to be. Some things cannot be forced.
I hope this helps.
(more)
When a person you have never met blocks you, it usually means that they are not interested in staying in touch with you. Now, I realize that it is hard to move on or the sudden loss of contact can be difficult to cope with, but it is important that you respect his boundaries. If he has blocked you, that only means he is not interested in interacting; constantly trying to get in touch with him not only lowers your self-respect but you are also ignoring his boundaries. Please wait for a while. If you mean anything to him, he will contact you. And if he doesn't, you should understand that this connection was never meant to be. Some things cannot be forced.
I hope this helps.
1
Answered on Feb 21, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2025
Recently, we got Engaged after a Courtship Period of 6 Months. Prior to this, my Fiancee had been in a Long Term Relationship, while I had never been into any Serious Romantic Relationship, apart from Platonic Friendship, with the Female Gender. Some 3 Months ago, my Fiancee confessed everything about her Past Relationship. Apparently, her Ex Boyfriend was quite Toxic. He used to Abuse her Emotionally but still Manipulate her into having Sexual Intercourse with him, which he was really good at. She also confessed that she enjoyed the Sexual Intimacy, even though she felt Emotionally invalidated in her previous Relationship. Apparently, their Relationship ended when she started being Assertive & tried taking a stand for herself. Then he Gaslighted her & Broke up the Relationship which was almost 5 years long. Initially, I felt uncomfortable hearing all these details from her as I was Virgin without any Prior Relationship Experience. But gradually, I began to Empathize with her. I appreciated her Honesty, as most other Women may not have Confessed all these before having an Arranged Marriage. Hence, I decided to Love her, without Judging her Past. Over the next 3 Months, we both became Emotionally close to each other & got Engaged with the Blessings of both Families. At the beginning of the Valentine's Week, I expressed my desire to lose my Virginity to her & also check our Sexual Compatibility, only if she's comfortable with it. She agreed & promised me that she would be taking the lead to ensure that my 'First Experience' would be memorable. On the 14th of February (Valentine's Day), she was the one who took me out on a Romantic Date, pampered me with Gifts, Treated me to exquisite Food & Drink. She had Pre-booked a Room in a Classy Hotel & had it arranged like it was meant for the First Night of a Just-Married Couple. We freshened up & got into the act. Initially, it was going great, but when we were in the middle of it, she started moaning the name of her Ex Boyfriend, in a Sub-conscious state. I was shocked & turned off. Immediately, I left the Hotel Room & went back Home & cried throughout the Night, thinking about my First Experience which was Ruined like this. The next day, she came over to meet me at my Place & gave me a Flower Bouquet with an Apology Note. My Heart wouldn't let me meet or talk with her. Hence, she expressed herself in Text. She profusely apologized for ruining my First Experience, though it was not intentional. She promised me that she would make up for this Bad Experience with a much better Experience, if I am willing to give her another chance. But I have a Gut Feeling that she was missing the Sexual Intimacy, which she used to enjoy with her Ex Boyfriend & that she can never Love me, as deeply as she Loved him, that she was unable to forget him even after going through an Abusive Relationship & a Traumatic Breakup. During the last 3 Months, I had treated gently with Empathy, showering her with Affection, so that she'd heal from her Past Relationship Trauma & I never tried to Pressurize her into having Sex with me, I just expressed my Desires & gave her the choice, whether or not to fulfill them. She seemed to have agreed, wholeheartedly. Several times, I asked her whether she was Physically, Mentally & Emotionally Prepared for it, just to Reassure myself that I am not being Manipulative like her Ex Boyfriend. Even if she had expressed 1% Uncertainty to go ahead, I wouldn't have insisted her & put it away to a later point of time, when she felt comfortable with me. She reassured me that she's completely ready & did all the Arrangements herself, which really touched my Heart as most other Girls expect the man to put in most of the efforts & feel as if they are doing him a Favour by 'giving him Sexual Pleasure'. But what happened on our First Night, Devastated me completely. Now I feel that she had been Faking it all the time. I told her clearly that I felt Cheated & that it would be Difficult for me to Trust her again. She excused herself saying that it was just a 'Mistake' & she didn't even consider it as 'Cheating' as it happened involuntarily. But I am Worried about such scenarios recurring after we get Married. What if she keeps thinking & fantasizing about her Ex Boyfriend, everytime we get Intimate? It would be as if, she's just present with me, physically but not Emotionally. It Would Ruin my Peace of Mind as I want to Enjoy a Blissful Sex Life with my Wife after getting Married. I am worried that this Incident may keep playing in my Subconscious Mind, everytime we get Intimate & that I'll never be able to enjoy Sexual Intimacy ever again. I told her that I am not really Sure about going ahead with the Marriage, but I am not able to discuss this matter with my Parents (or even her Parents) as they wouldn't approve of the Pre-marital Sex, which we engaged in. I am also Worried that even if I Cancel this Marriage, I may or may not get another Girl who's as good as this one & I am also worried about how the Next Girl would be Judging me, if I disclose all this to her. I am losing my Sleep over-thinking all this & unable to lead my Daily Life, Peacefully. Meanwhile, my Fiancee messages me several times every day, Requesting for another chance to Please me Sexually (in order to keep me attached to her, so that I don't try to Cancel the Marriage). I don't understand what to do, in this situation, Please advise me. Shall I Cancel the Marriage? What shall we tell our Parents? Or does she really Deserve another Chance?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I am really sorry you are going through such a tough time. Secondly, from all the details you have given, you were certainly not manipulative. Now coming to your query, I understand that it can be very difficult to discuss such an intimate moment with parents or make them understand why you decided to break things off, but if that is the only thing holding you off, I would say it's better to have a few uncomfortable discussions than a lifetime of wondering "if your wife is thinking about her ex." And even if she does not, would you ever truly believe that? You have two options- either you postpone the wedding and ask for some time to figure things out, in the meanwhile seek couples' counseling and see if this is a compatible match, or you completely rethink the alliance. After all, it is a matter of your entire life. The one thing I would definitely suggest is not to make hasty decisions or decisions based on "will I find someone else?" These both will make you make choices that are made in desperation. Remember it is better to be alone than in an unhappy and lonely marriage. And why would anyone judge you? You are not in the wrong here.
One more thing, as far as telling your parents is concerned, you can cite a reason like "compatibility issues which are slightly personal." I am sure they won't press on it. But please do not rush into anything.
Hope this helps.
(more)
First of all, I am really sorry you are going through such a tough time. Secondly, from all the details you have given, you were certainly not manipulative. Now coming to your query, I understand that it can be very difficult to discuss such an intimate moment with parents or make them understand why you decided to break things off, but if that is the only thing holding you off, I would say it's better to have a few uncomfortable discussions than a lifetime of wondering "if your wife is thinking about her ex." And even if she does not, would you ever truly believe that? You have two options- either you postpone the wedding and ask for some time to figure things out, in the meanwhile seek couples' counseling and see if this is a compatible match, or you completely rethink the alliance. After all, it is a matter of your entire life. The one thing I would definitely suggest is not to make hasty decisions or decisions based on "will I find someone else?" These both will make you make choices that are made in desperation. Remember it is better to be alone than in an unhappy and lonely marriage. And why would anyone judge you? You are not in the wrong here.
One more thing, as far as telling your parents is concerned, you can cite a reason like "compatibility issues which are slightly personal." I am sure they won't press on it. But please do not rush into anything.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Feb 21, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
Arranged marriage: Woman won't open up about past relationships – 30M seeks advice
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns but it might be nice if you understand her concerns as well. While most people promise to neither judge nor share sensitive details, they rarely keep their promise, especially when the experiences are coming from a woman. Her reluctance about sharing her past with you might be stemming from the same.
To be honest, the past should not matter as much as the present but since it is important to you, I would recommend you open up about it directly to her, expressing how her not opening up is stopping you from trusting her completely. If she still does not want to talk about it, I don't see any scenario where it would be the right choice to push her about it again. You have only met her and things are yet to be official. In that case, you should rethink this alliance. Secrecy might be important to her as much as knowing every detail is important to you. Neither is wrong here. Do not rush into any conclusion and speak to her first. Meet up exclusively for this discussion and see where things go from there.
Hope this helps
(more)
I understand your concerns but it might be nice if you understand her concerns as well. While most people promise to neither judge nor share sensitive details, they rarely keep their promise, especially when the experiences are coming from a woman. Her reluctance about sharing her past with you might be stemming from the same.
To be honest, the past should not matter as much as the present but since it is important to you, I would recommend you open up about it directly to her, expressing how her not opening up is stopping you from trusting her completely. If she still does not want to talk about it, I don't see any scenario where it would be the right choice to push her about it again. You have only met her and things are yet to be official. In that case, you should rethink this alliance. Secrecy might be important to her as much as knowing every detail is important to you. Neither is wrong here. Do not rush into any conclusion and speak to her first. Meet up exclusively for this discussion and see where things go from there.
Hope this helps
1
Answered on Feb 21, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2025Hindi
Should I Break Up With My Girlfriend For Drinking With Her Colleagues & Dancing With Others?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it is very difficult to deal with situations that do not offer clarity or closure. First of all, you are doing great. You did not rush to any conclusion or decision. Kudos to that. Give her some time to remember. I know it was wrong of her to break a mutual arrangement, and worse, she put herself in a risky situation. Whether this counts as cheating or not depends on your personal boundaries- there really isn't just one definition for it. The real issue here is whether you will be able to move on from this event and trust her, without this causing repeated conflicts in your relationship. If that is also concerning you, then breaking up is justified.
However, if you think you care for her still and believe that she regrets the choices she made, you can rethink about giving the relationship another chance. After all, there is no proof that she has done anything else other than breaking a promise (which is not trivial either). But before making any decision, have an open discussion about trust and how to rebuild it in your relationship.
Hope these help
(more)
I understand it is very difficult to deal with situations that do not offer clarity or closure. First of all, you are doing great. You did not rush to any conclusion or decision. Kudos to that. Give her some time to remember. I know it was wrong of her to break a mutual arrangement, and worse, she put herself in a risky situation. Whether this counts as cheating or not depends on your personal boundaries- there really isn't just one definition for it. The real issue here is whether you will be able to move on from this event and trust her, without this causing repeated conflicts in your relationship. If that is also concerning you, then breaking up is justified.
However, if you think you care for her still and believe that she regrets the choices she made, you can rethink about giving the relationship another chance. After all, there is no proof that she has done anything else other than breaking a promise (which is not trivial either). But before making any decision, have an open discussion about trust and how to rebuild it in your relationship.
Hope these help
2
Answered on Feb 20, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Confused About My Girlfriend's Friends-With-Benefits Situation - Seeking Advice
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you think this is going to be a problem, please reconsider. You have only met her, and through a matrimony site. I understand that it doesn't mean you cannot have real feelings for her, still, this isn't like you have been dating her for a very long time and it's very difficult to even consider not marrying her. So please, for both your benefit, take your time and assess how important this revelation is to you- can it cause conflicts in your marriage, or if your family members come to know about it, will it create a huge chaos? And after all that assessment, please consider if she is worth the risk. If yes, by all means, go for it. If no, then you have your answer.
Best Wishes.
(more)
If you think this is going to be a problem, please reconsider. You have only met her, and through a matrimony site. I understand that it doesn't mean you cannot have real feelings for her, still, this isn't like you have been dating her for a very long time and it's very difficult to even consider not marrying her. So please, for both your benefit, take your time and assess how important this revelation is to you- can it cause conflicts in your marriage, or if your family members come to know about it, will it create a huge chaos? And after all that assessment, please consider if she is worth the risk. If yes, by all means, go for it. If no, then you have your answer.
Best Wishes.
1
Answered on Feb 20, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 12, 2025
I moved to a new state to be with this girl. Work on marriage. She is Muslim, but modern a little since being in USA. Any way, she told me she was a virgin, outside of getting oral twice and and giving hand jobs to 2 guys after college.. so I could deal with that, as I’m no saint. But, it’s been about 10 months, ( we live together but really don’t because she can’t move in until marriage so stays at her parents home still really) but she told me recently her older brother (8 years older) and her other sisters use to have sexual relations but she doesn’t “ remember everything that happened “ but sounds like it was very explicit. Supposedly as a child up into about 8-12 ( claims she doesn’t know). But it wasn’t against her will she says. She also says her and her older sister in middle school was super intimate together.. but since she never did anything else besides the few things after college.., I don’t know how I feel, I dropped my life to be here, I feel lied to, betrayed, but I get why someone would not tell someone “ hey I’m not a virgin really because I had relations with my own siblings growing up “ but still.. I don’t know what to do, or if I can get over this, or if I’m being unfair. Please give me some guidance
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it is a lot to take in, and rightfully so. If you are not comfortable with this, please reconsider the relationship. You do not owe anyone any explanation. There is a line of comfort and if this revelation has crossed the line, you can (if you want) part ways. You are not judging her, or disrespecting her. You are merely making a choice that aligns with your comfort and values. Please take your time and think this through. No one can say you have been unfair.
But if you think you can look past it, then that's ok too. After all, it's all about how you feel- there is no one right decision in this situation. But make sure you take enough time to think. This should not create problems in your future.
Hope this helps.
(more)
I understand it is a lot to take in, and rightfully so. If you are not comfortable with this, please reconsider the relationship. You do not owe anyone any explanation. There is a line of comfort and if this revelation has crossed the line, you can (if you want) part ways. You are not judging her, or disrespecting her. You are merely making a choice that aligns with your comfort and values. Please take your time and think this through. No one can say you have been unfair.
But if you think you can look past it, then that's ok too. After all, it's all about how you feel- there is no one right decision in this situation. But make sure you take enough time to think. This should not create problems in your future.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Feb 20, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2025Hindi
Boyfriend in arranged marriage? What should I, a 23-year-old woman, do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you strongly believe that he is just keeping you hanging and he is interested in marrying by his parent's choice, then I too feel that your decision to part ways might be the right one. After all, your self-respect is the most important thing here. Please speak to him directly once and let him know that you are reconsidering the relationship and see how he reacts. You can decide after that.
Hope this helps.
(more)
If you strongly believe that he is just keeping you hanging and he is interested in marrying by his parent's choice, then I too feel that your decision to part ways might be the right one. After all, your self-respect is the most important thing here. Please speak to him directly once and let him know that you are reconsidering the relationship and see how he reacts. You can decide after that.
Hope this helps.
Answered on Feb 20, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2025
Hi, I am 24F i am in a relationship with 27M he is pursuing MBA far from our home city so basically it was long distance but he never fails to surprise visits many times we are dating for 2 yrs now and 3-4 months ago he asked me to have sex because in his college everybody is doing it and he wants to do it too and said they are casually dating and having sex but why can not after being in a serious relation but i want to have sex only after marrying him. Shall i break up with him because i do not want him to sacrifice his desires nor mine as my values does not allow me to have sex before marriage?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Did you tell him how you feel? Did he show any form of disappointment for it? I suggest you speak to him openly first. And intimacy is a sensitive topic- you should not have to sacrifice your values for him. There is nothing wrong with waiting, nor is there anything wrong with what he wants. It merely differs from person to person. I hope you know that. But since your desire requires waiting, I strongly suggest you speak to him honestly first and then decide.
Best Wishes.
(more)
Did you tell him how you feel? Did he show any form of disappointment for it? I suggest you speak to him openly first. And intimacy is a sensitive topic- you should not have to sacrifice your values for him. There is nothing wrong with waiting, nor is there anything wrong with what he wants. It merely differs from person to person. I hope you know that. But since your desire requires waiting, I strongly suggest you speak to him honestly first and then decide.
Best Wishes.
1
Answered on Feb 20, 2025
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025
Hello sir/ma'am...i am a girl of 21 yrs and my bf 24yrs.We met each other through an online friendly chat app.Since 1yr,we r chatting,video and voice calls.He told me,he loves me and wanna marry me.I too liked him and I took the matter to my parents and they agreed for our marriage also.I made him talk to my parents.He didn't still let this matter know to his parents.Recently,without my permission..my cousin sis took his insta id and chatted with him like an unknown girl for fun.She created an account in insta and sent a request to him n he accepted that request and continued chatting with her.She told him like she saw his profile and interested and so given a request.He was asking her for voice call,video call,but she didn't accept.She sent some other picture when he insisted her pic and later he asked her "do u like me" for which she funnily replied love at first sight and love you.He told her he want to express his love to her in voice call and later he too proposed..she showed all those screen shots to me.
I am broken.I questioned him what is all this?...for which he replied...he just chatted to find out whether that account was a fake account or real account...but,the screen shots were showing something different..when my cousin called him bro..he was very upset and scolded her too.
Now,he saying he thought it's a fake boy id and wanted to make fun of and even fought with me saying i don't trust him and without his acceptance..i gave his id to my cousin..but,i havent given..
He is saying he wanted to test whether it is a fake or a real account and so he made fun off and didn't mean it and that too just chatting it is n not to take it seriously and he loves me much..
I am confused after this whether to proceed for marriage..he isthe first guy and love in my life...should i believe him or let him go or should i give him one more chance?..please give u r advice..thank you
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.
Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.
Hope this helps.
(more)
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.
Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.
Hope this helps.
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