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Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry you are going through this. What happened is just as confusing as it is hurtful. Let’s get one thing straight, you did nothing wrong. You are not at fault here. Nothing you could’ve done or said should or could cause this reaction.
Coming to your first question, it is very difficult to answer it without generalizing all men. But some of the most reasons for this could be:
He got what he wanted. It sounds crass but in most cases, this is the truth. He had no intentions of being more than just that.
He might be avoiding responsibility. He didn’t want more, and the mature thing would have been to sit down and have that discussion with you. But, maturity isn’t easy and he chose the easy route, that is to ghost. His decision to disappear is a reflection of his nature, not yours.
Coming to what your friend said, it could be that too, but the chances are slim. Some men do feel overwhelmed but disappearing for over a week is a stretch. Again, it’s his unreadiness to feel so many emotions, not yours.
Now, I want to gently nudge you towards one thing: you said you feel ashamed. Shame creeps in when you hold yourself accountable for someone else’s actions. And also due to societal prejudice. Keep both aside, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Did you move too fast? To be honest, there is no fast or slow in these things. There’s no set timeline. You did what you felt was right in the moment. And you were ready to step up, but he went MIA. The entire unfortunate turnout is not because of your pace but his lack of respect. Even if he comes up with a good enough reason for this disappearing act, I still want you to remember that not even for a second, you had anything to create this situation.


I hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it must be tough to see someone you like, flirting with another person in front of you. But, as you said, your colleague often does this and he has been upfront about this. Now, you need to understand that your feelings are valid even if you knew about his nature. But having said that, I don’t think there’s much you can do about him. The best thing is to slowly distance yourself from him and end his chapter here. The more you get involved and look for answers the more you will get hurt. Try spending more time with friends and people who truly appreciate you.
Best wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very sorry you are going through such a tough time. First of all, this ‘no seal no deal’ is the brainchild of extremely insecure people. You should not have to worry about that. If, in the future, you start dating someone, and you decide to tell them about your past and they say something that indicates this mentality, you should reconsider the relationship. Your past is your past. Whatever happened between you and your ex was out of love. And it isn’t a flaw in you. Remember, you deserve as much happiness and love as any other person. Coming to whether you can ever share your past or not- that is entirely up to you. There is no hard and fast rule that you must tell your partner every single detail of your past relationship history. But I strongly suggest focusing on finding someone with whom you can share anything without fear of judgment.


In the end, I’d again like to remind you that the choice to disclose your past is on you. No one can pressure you to talk about it, or not sharing the same doesn’t make you guilty of anything. For now, please stop worrying about all these and focus on keeping yourself happy and moving forward. You deserve someone who will love you every day and for everything you are.
Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your frustration. Finding love on dating apps, just like dating IRL, can sometimes take a little longer. Everyone finds their perfect match in their own time. I understand it must be frustrating, but stick on with it. For the time being, have fun interacting with new people. Do not set an intention that you are there just to find true love. It will reduce your experience to a routine. Dating should be fun. And love cannot be rushed. I am sure you will find someone who truly likes you in no time. And no, you are not being unrealistic. Loads of people have found their life partners on dating apps.
Best wishes.

Ans: Dear anonymous,
I understand how hurtful it must have been. I am sorry you were made to feel this way. No one deserves it, and least of all, you, who has been there for her at all times. I can’t tell if you were only temporary comfort for her, but I can tell that her behavior was not normal for someone in love. I would suggest waiting a little longer and if she still does not contact you, text her and let her know that you want to have a clear discussion with her about your future. If she still ignores the topic, you can directly ask her about her intentions. A direct approach is what’s needed right now. Let her know that you will not be dragged without purpose. See where things go from there. No one should be kept on the hook like this. You deserve better treatment.
Hope this helps

Ans: Dear anonymous,
I understand your dilemma. It is difficult to find the perfect man, but it’s even worse when you find him but it also means you are losing a part of yourself. The choice you are talking about here is very personal, but I will suggest that you think long and hard about it. People rarely change their mind and neither you, nor him, are likely to change your minds about kids. And neither of you should have to. Now, it is only a matter of what is more important to you. But I would also recommend that you think about the future. Today, he might seem like the most important thing in your life. And right now, he might seem enough. But if you rush into choosing him, there’s a good chance you will resent him in the future. Have an honest conversation with him and come to a decision. You might as well ask him if there’s any chance he will ever change his mind. This way you will have better clarity.
Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I believe I have already answered your question once.
Hope that helped.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am assuming you are still married and if that’s the case, the thing that you should focus on is not your feelings for this colleague. It’s your feelings towards your wife. Does your wife know, or are you in an open setup? I need more details before I can help you any further.


Best Wishes

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I’d be lying if I say it doesn’t matter at all. Should it matter? No. But does it matter? Yes. But here’s the good news- it is only for superficial attraction. Looks don’t carry a relationship to its end goal; personality and effort does. And the best news? Looks will fade with time, but the other two won’t.
But I also want you to remember, ‘Looks matter’ isn’t the universal truth. There are always exceptions, and for those people, it is usually kindness, emotional intelligence, and the other traits that matter more.


Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am guessing you want to know when you will find a girlfriend– well, that is difficult to predict but I’d urge you to be patient and not rush while finding love. After all, you are only 19 years old. You have your whole life ahead of you to find a girlfriend. Focus on interacting with new people, and making new friends. If you think you can balance your studies and dating life well, you can consider joining a dating app and finding new female friends and maybe someone special from among them. But the most important part is, do not rush. It will happen. Love doesn’t happen the same way or in the same timeframe for all.


Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Shruti,
I understand that you feel good when you talk to him. It’s very normal. You feel that way because you have been with him for so long, and it’s the familiarity. But since he is now engaged and soon to get married, it would be best if you slowly put some distance between you and him and finally stop talking at all. If you continue interacting, you will never move on. And he will have difficulty moving on as well. It’s neither fair to you, nor him and his new bride. Please try to move on and constantly being in touch is not going to help.


Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The first question is, are you interested in getting married or are you pushing yourself because of age and pressure? If you are interested, then great. You can either ask your lady friend if she has interest in you and see where things go. Or you can ask friend and relatives to find you someone suitable. If you want to handle things yourself then register on a matchmaking app. It would give you more freedom and control over your own love life. Now, if you are not interested in marriage, you should not force yourself. Take your time to understand what exactly you want– in the meantime, you can find some compatible women on the matchmaking app and interact with them for sometime. There’s no pressure to commit there. But you have a fair idea whether or not you are cut out to live the married or committed life.
Hope these help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I believe you should have an open conversation with your husband about a better split of the financial responsibilities. I am not assuming which one of you earns more, but from the tone of your question, I felt that he might be contributing less compared to how much he earns and that isn’t fair. It’s important that you discuss this with your husband as early as possible.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your aspirations are beautiful and deeply spiritual. The fact that you admire Sri Ramakrishna and Sri Sarada Devi shows your openness for devotion, even if that is not your religion.

Coming to your wish to remain a housewife and not chase career success is perfectly fine. It isn’t a flaw, nor does it make you better than others- it’s merely your choice. And not knowing how to cook doesn’t mean you can’t learn. Cooking is a life skill, and should be acquired by all, regardless of their lifestyle choice. Not liking a job is also a valid point, but in a marriage, it is important for both partners to contribute, not necessarily the same way. One can take care of the finances and the other can take care of the home– that’s a great arrangement as long as both partners are onboard.

Now, will you ever find a perfect match? I am sure you will. But I want you to remember that perfection is not found– it is built over time.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
That's great advice from your friend. Basically the 3-6-9 rule is an informal but very popular guideline among daters– it is used to set expectations and pace. Basically it says that the first 3 months is the honeymoon period. You feel the butterflies, everything feels new and romantic, you have all your firsts, and even conflict feels like something that brings you closer. You find out new quirks, perfections and flaws in your partner in these months. It is one of the major compatibility checkpoints. Though people rarely see things clearly in the honeymoon phase, still, there’s a lot to learn.

Then comes the 6-month milestone– you have been together or chatting long enough to know quite a bit about each other; you know what’s compatible and what’s not. By now you will have a fair idea whether things will work out or it’s best to let this one go.

9-months is the real commitment checkpoint– this is where you start thinking about a future. In online dating, you start wondering if this connection is worth investing in. You ask the important questions- are we exclusive? Will this work IRL? What about our goals? By the 9th month, if things are still going strong, daters decide to take things from casual to serious.

While it is not necessary to stick to this timeline, rushing in love is not recommended, especially when it comes to online dating. This method can help set realistic expectations and will constantly push daters to check in with themselves whether they are in it for love or for the lack of love elsewhere.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry you are going through such a tough time. What your ex is doing is emotional abuse and threatening to leak someone’s private pictures without their consent is also a criminal offense. I am assuming you do not want to involve your family in this matter yet– in that case, you must learn how to protect yourself. First of all, keep evidence of the threats he is making- screenshots, call records, etc. Second, let him know that in India, this is a criminal offense and you are ready to go all out if he decides to leak anything without your consent. You can also either report to cyber crime confidentially or at the very least, tell him that you are considering doing the same. Next, make sure to sever all ties. In most cases, these are empty threats to keep people under control. If he can’t contact you, he can’t threaten you. Lastly, consider informing someone you trust. And most importantly, do not ever think you are helpless. You might fear involving family, but in your worst times, family is the biggest pillar of strength. If things go too far, consider informing your family as well.

Hope these help.

Ans: Dear Shamsunder,

Please feel free to submit your queries here. If you are worried about privacy, I want to assure you that you can ask anything anonymously. Your private details won't be visible to me.

Ans: Dear Saanvi,
I would suggest not to read too much into mixed signals- one thing, you might be reading them wrong. Second, it’s possible that they are confused and hence the mixed signals. Third, without verbal confirmation, it’s best not to get your hopes high. If you need further help understanding what the signals mean, please provide a little more details.
Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Shan,
That’s a really good question. Before going to her place, try to build a mindset of understanding her, without any preconceived notion or pressure to get married. In terms of discussion, to understand emotional compatibility you can observe her behaviour- how she deals with stress, or how she might deal with conflict. Discuss daily life expectations, like what you like to do on weekends, do you enjoy occasional drinking or partying, do you enjoy spending time with friends, family gatherings, disciplined lifestyle, etc. Discuss about each other’s work life balance, expectations from in-laws and any non-negotiables. You should also discuss kids- if they want them, if you want them, and also when. Get clarity on expected living arrangements to avoid any future conflicts. These should be more than enough for a first-time meeting.
Hope these help

Ans: Dear Robin,
If she keeps it pending, there are two likely scenarios- one, she didn’t see it. Two, she doesn’t want to accept your request. Please see for a few more days and then if she doesn’t accept it still, please understand that she isn’t interested.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is difficult for me to answer this- what exactly happened between the two of you? Did you part ways on good terms or bad? Did you break up or just had a fight? Did you do something unforgivable that you think he might not love you again? Did he show signs that he has moved on or doesn’t feel the same way for you anymore? Every one of these pieces of information is important. If you do not feel comfortable disclosing all these, please ask yourself the same questions and answer honestly. I am sure you’ll figure out whether or not he will love you again like before.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Atmaja,
I understand it must be very difficult to be unable to meet your partner as per your wish. But if your parents are controlling and this is what you must do to keep your relationship safe, the struggle might be worth it in the end. I suggest focusing more on texting, if calling and meeting is a problem. Moreover, remember it is always quality over quantity. One quality meetup is much better than meeting everyday.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is very difficult to tell what’s going on in someone’s mind, or how feelings change suddenly; it is unfair but it’s very common. If he has clearly mentioned that he does not want anything romantic with you, it is best to not pursue. I understand that it has hurt you, and maybe somewhere, it has also hurt your ego, but it is best to respect his boundaries. Coming to responding to his message- since he has thanked you for your help, it would be decent to reply; you can do it with a simple “you are welcome.” But I won’t force you to do it; if you think that he doesn’t deserve it, then you can avoid it. But if you are wondering if he wants you back, as an onlooker, I didn’t see any indication of that. Then again, as I mentioned, it is difficult to tell what’s going on in someone’s mind. If you want clarity, you should have an open discussion and ask him about it. That much explanation he owes you.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether it was a genuine mistake or there are lingering issues that led to this slip-up, it is natural for your current partner to feel uncomfortable and even sad hearing you repeatedly calling out for your ex. I hope this much you acknowledge. Now moving on to how we can fix this- first of all, apologize; mistake or not, you can still say you are sorry. Next, have a clear discussion with your partner- ask her how it made her feel and what can you do to make it better. This way she can see that you are owing up and taking initiatives. Then, I want you to reflect- why is this happening? Did you get into this relationship before you could fully move on? Or have you been thinking about your ex? If so, why and is that fair to your present partner? I hope if you are honest with your answers, by the end of it you will have some clarity.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must all be very confusing but I would suggest not jumping to conclusions. You think he doesn’t like you, but he might be thinking the same since you did not respond to him properly the next day. That could have triggered his current behavior. If you have feelings for him or if you even miss him as a friend, I would recommend you to clear the air with him. Just talk it out- you can explain how things got a little heavy the other day and that’s why you didn’t speak to him nicely and apologize if that made him feel bad. If even after that he continues to avoid you, then you will have better clarity.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Like you mentioned, it is very normal for old friends to enquire about each other, especially if they have not been in touch for a long time. It might be the same in this case. The only way to tell for sure is to ask her. If you are interested in reconnecting, you can think about the same and ask her once you are back in talking terms. But I would recommend not assuming anything and getting your hopes up.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Like women everywhere, Indian women also typically want to date green flags. Kindness, respect, emotional maturity trumps the color of someone’s skin. Now, if you are asking about someone specific, then it would largely depend on their individual preferences, experiences, and comfort levels more than broad assumptions. Attraction is very personal.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry that you are in this difficult situation; it sounds very emotionally draining. Now coming to your question, I cannot give you advice from the legal point of view but I can give you the human pov.- even though you are not responsible for anyone’s mental health, you can still be kind and helpful when someone is at a low point in their lives. You can start by telling her that you care about her, but the romantic relationship is over. And even though you two are not a couple, you will still help her get through this. Tell her that she deserves better and her life has so much value- if she does something, it will definitely affect a lot of people who deeply care for her. Encourage her to talk to someone she is close to. You can also consider alerting someone in your circle who knows the both of you and can help in this situation.

I understand how exhausting it must be to be held emotionally hostage, but since the issue is self-harm, it is best to take things seriously. You might not be able to fix it for her, but you can be kind. If she persists, please consider alerting her family. And if you are overwhelmed, please share the concerns with someone you trust. It must be difficult to carry all the burden alone.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it must be difficult to lose a long-term relationship. Also, when you had a rebound, you were in an emotionally vulnerable place. Your friend could have politely rejected any advances because you might not have been in the right head space to think- then again, I do not want to jump to conclusions and place the blame on someone. Now, about your confusion- if you think that continuing this with your best friend can ruin your friendship, you might want to rethink it. If you think there are feelings involved, you should talk clearly about it and start by mentioning that whether they feel the same way about you or not will not affect your friendship. Once you get clarity on what page you both are on, you can start thinking about what's the next step.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how stressed you must be; financial problems are indeed very difficult to deal with. First of all, let me remind you that you are not just a housewife- you are a homemaker. You raise your kids, and manage the entire household. It is not an easy task, so do not sell yourself short. And is separating with your husband going to change anything? Your children will suffer and if it isn’t an unhappy marriage, your husband will suffer greatly too. So I want to ask, did you ever consider applying for jobs? Not trying to pressurize you, but it might make you feel more helpful. Think about that- it can be any job; you can start small and slowly climb the ladder. Moreover, please speak to your spouse. If anyways he has made you feel like a burden, I want you to keep reminding yourself that your job as a homemaker is no less than his job as the breadwinner.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anjana,
I totally understand your pain and your concern. Whether it went farther than what he claims does not matter; the fact that he was involved, physically or emotionally, with another woman makes it completely wrong on his part- there is no excuse for that. Coming to the waiting part- I would really suggest you reconsider waiting for him any longer. You have waited and in the meantime, he has been cheating on you. Plus, he is still not giving you any assurance. It’s best that you reconsider this relationship. You deserve much better. And even if it takes you some time to find someone else, it would be far better than living your life with a man who could not respect and love you enough to remain loyal or think about your feelings.


Please think about this before you make any decision. Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You can tell her exactly the way you told me. The thing is that your requirements are very specific and if you wish to be in such a relationship with someone, you need to openly and clearly tell them what you want. There should be no room for misinterpretation or assumptions which can hurt the other person later on. Your potential partner should know what they are getting into and how much they can expect from you. And if you both are on the same page, there you go.


Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Ajay,
I would suggest you speak to a lawyer on how to legally go around this. On a more emotional level, I can advise you to keep to yourself. I am not able to be of much help without knowing a little more detail about your situation.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are dealing with something very emotionally confusing and sensitive. But, from the very beginning it has been wrong, don’t you think? I don’t want to assume that you flirted back or indulged in the behavior, but to begin with, the dynamics were off, given she’s your friend’s wife. Chances are she realized that it wasn’t right, and decided to rectify it by setting boundaries. If that’s the case, I would advise you to respect the boundaries and do not push her or over-pursue her. I would also suggest you reflect on why it bothers you so much?

If you still want answers, you can ask her but very carefully- for instance, “I noticed that we don’t talk much these days. Is there something bothering you? If so, I totally understand and respect your decision. I just wanted to know if I did anything wrong.” This way you are not putting the blame on her.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are right; it does sound like he is stalling, but then again, we might be wrong. The best way to gain clarity is to ask him about it. Asking directly might cause a conflict, so do it in a more subtle way- ask him where he sees himself in 5 years. If he does not mention you in his plans, it would be an indication that he is not serious about the relationship. And keep note of small things like if he is making small-term plans with him, like a travel plan 3 months later or long-term plans, like a friend’s wedding that will happen one and half years later. These small details can help you get a rough idea of what he is up to. But I want you to remember that all of these are just speculations. You can take your speculations, put it on the table and have a clear discussion.

I hope these help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am not sure what suggestion you are asking for here? But, in general, gay or straight, being in love with your sister’s husband is morally wrong. He is your sister’s husband; if you plan to pursue this feeling, then you must understand that you will be intentionally hurting your sister and coming from a sibling, this will break her heart. Even if we look at it from a 100 different perspectives, you’d still be wrong, and I want you to understand that this has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. I understand that people cannot control their feelings, but what you do with it and how you act on it makes all the difference.

Best Wishes

Ans: Dear Solar,
I understand how difficult it must be for you to go through all of this- please stay strong. Coming to your question whether your GF gave her 100% to stop this wedding- no one, other than her, can truly answer this question. If you doubt it, you can ask her, but I don’t think that will help at all. Right now, your only focus should be on your wellbeing. If there is a chance to stop this wedding, it is on her. You really are not in a position to do anything about it. I know it is frustrating, but that’s the truth. If you try anything, you might ruin her relationship with her parents.


You have to focus on keeping your mind off her and the wedding and focus on yourself. Surround yourself with your loved ones. Try to pursue a hobby, keep yourself busy, and focus on your studies/career. I understand that you have anxiety and seeing a counselor about it can help more than you can imagine. But if you are not ready for it, for now, do the things I asked you to do.


Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
While age does not matter in love, especially a two year age gap, it is still a preference that varies from person to person. Now, let’s say your neighbor doesn’t have a problem with your age, do you know if she has similar feelings for you? Instead of thinking how to make her your GF, first figure out how you can express your feelings for her and how to find out if she has the same feelings for you. The only way to do that is slowly telling her about it and noticing how she reacts. But I want you to remember that reaction is not everything. She must verbally confirm that she feels for you too, or else there will always remain some room for misinterpretation.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must be confusing- you spoke to him and from your perspective, things went smoothly and yet they dropped the proposal abruptly. But here’s the catch- it might not have been the same experience for him. As you mentioned, you had basic conversations; is it possible that he was hoping to connect with you more in the three weeks’ time? We can’t say for sure what was the reason, but one thing I can tell you is that you deserve someone who does not need convincing to marry you. I know you were invested in him, but it is much better to lose those three weeks than settle for a marriage where both partners are not on the same page. Please understand your worth. I can’t stop you from contacting him or asking them what went wrong, but I can certainly advise you against it. You will get better alliances. Also, I want you to understand that you are only 31; you are still so young. Do not settle for anything less than the one who's best for you!

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you were honest and transparent about your relationship history and he was okay with it, then you have nothing to worry about. His problems with your past are his problems; it’s not on you. First of all, it should not matter. Secondly, in case it does matter to him, you were completely honest about it from the beginning. If he is creating issues, he must take some time to sort it out. Making you feel guilty about it is not the solution nor the right approach. Please communicate the same to him, but in a kind and polite way, because even if it is not right, he might still be genuinely hurting. Give him the time and scope to sort things out in his mind. If this continues to be an issue, you might want to rethink the relationship. You don’t want to live the rest of your life with this same conversation going on in a loop.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Did you contact anyone who lives near your partner? More than any other concerns, you should be worried why the calls and messages are not going through. Try contacting her or any family member or friend who knows about you. The situation does not add up given how regularly you both used to communicate. I hope she is safe and contacts you soon.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Being married doesn’t turn off your ability to appreciate good looks of people other than your partner but it is only okay up to a certain point. Most of the time, these attractions are fleeting and what really matters is how you handle them. But while we are at this discussion, I would remind you that your marriage or partner might not seem as interesting and exciting right now, but it is much more than that. Long-term relationships can become mundane. It is important to address anything that you might be lacking in this relationship- is the excitement missing? Do you need more emotional support or maybe more time and attention? N number of things can trigger what you are feeling right now, and at the same time, this can be stemming from nothing and you simply found another human being good looking. But I would still recommend healthy boundaries even if your intentions are completely pure.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry you are in this situation. It’s really tough to see your partner flirting with someone, especially your own siblings. It is a huge red flag and there is only one right suggestion- rethink the relationship. You deserve much much better than this.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Like you mentioned, it is very normal for old friends to enquire about each other, especially if they have not been in touch for a long time. It might be the same in this case. The only way to tell for sure is to ask her. If you are interested in reconnecting, you can think about the same and ask her once you are back in talking terms. But I would recommend not assuming anything and getting your hopes up.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How can someone else tell whether you should or should not accept something? It depends on your values and desires. And what you want does not align with what you got- if that bothers you then you can rethink this. But also consider this one thing- what if your next partner treats you the same way? Would that be okay? Do you think these factors should matter in a relationship? Think hard on this and make your choice.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Srijal,
If you know there is nothing awkward or controversial about the scenes, keep your head held high. The most you can do here is ask your partner what is it about the situation that’s bothering him so much- if his answer sounds reasonable, you can try to clarify things. But if it is simply his mindset or nature that is making the entire situation more complicated than it is, please rethink this relationship. This might repeat with several other innocent situations.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It depends on how important religion is to you and your family. If you think it can cause a lot of problems later, if and when you both tell your parents about your relationship, then I would suggest avoiding this. He might love you now, but would he be able to stand up to his family when the time comes? Ask him that and think about it yourself as well before making any decision.
Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry you are standing in such a tricky situation. First of all, I want to know if you have a job? If yes, would two people's salaries together provide a comfortable life? If not, do you think his salary alone will cut it in this economy?
I want you to ask yourself the same questions. If you do not have a job yet, I would urge you to try for one. Financial independence is extremely important, especially for women. Now, I cannot comment on the caste thing, because the seriousness of that differs from family to family, but if it is earning that is bothering your parents, you can wait a bit and aim for a higher-salaried job and pitch in the same idea. Or at least, show your parents that you and your parents are willing to put in the work. Their concerns about income are not completely baseless, because once life becomes uncomfortable, love can take a backseat. Focus on building a better career and then get married. Do this for yourself, and not just for your parents.
Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand where your concerns stem from; and just like you said, women have equal concerns, if not more. But look at all the marriages around you- are they all bad? I would say focus on the good things. And about smoking and drinking- people have their own preferences. Some like it and some don't. I am sure there are many women who are dead against any form of addiction and they can be a good match for you. Having said it all, I would also like to say that you should not get married till you are mentally prepared for it. If it scares you so much right now, it would not be the right decision to get involved with someone and end up projecting your fears on them and doubting them for no reason. Take your time and observe other relationships- see the happy side of it and try to gauge if you want that. I would also say that love marriage might work better for you, because it will have slightly less "surprise element" to it.
But again, do not rush. Let it happen organically. You are only 28.
Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry that you are in this situation. While I can't make a decision for you, I can help you by pointing out how this looks like from an outsider's perspective- your BF's interactions with this profile do not really support his claim of "just testing if it's a fake account." It seems like he was interested in chatting and continuing the flirty conversations. This does not mean he is in love with the person behind that online profile, but it surely looks like he can go behind your back for some thrill.

Trust and honesty are two very important things in a relationship, and if you are planning on getting married, this is not a good start. Moreover, his getting angry at you upon confrontation is a red flag- he tried to gaslight you.
It's your choice whether you want to leave or give him another chance but before you make a decision in haste, ask yourself-
1) If he loves you, would he flirt with someone or even chat with a stranger for entertainment?
2) Would you do the same to him?
3) Is he taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness?
4) Can you trust him completely after this or would you always keep wondering if he is cheating on you?
Once you answer these honestly, I think you will know what's the right thing to do.

Hope this helps.