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Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It might be some form of commitment issue- Someone who reciprocates your feelings might create a sense of pressure or demand for emotional closeness.

One more common cause can be the thrill of chasing. You might like to conquer people's love; the chase thrills you. The act of trying to win someone's attention is more exciting than the certainty of someone's love.

Or you might be having avoidant issues, where you pull away as soon as someone shows real emotions.

In any case, ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable when someone shows their emotions to you. Self-reflection can help you solve this puzzle. Also, it is okay to explore connections without wanting to become exclusive partners. That is also a great way of understanding what you want or don't want. You can take small steps like consciously staying in touch with people who are showing interest in you. That does not mean you have to force yourself to commit to them; just don't disappear on them. The best thing would be to seek counseling. It can help you a lot and sort out this issue before it sets in and creates real problems in finding love.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I remember answering your question once. If I am not wrong, I had asked you to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait a little while longer. In case he is still acting the same way, there might be reason to worry. I can't advise you any further without knowing some more details.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me ask you one thing, if you knew a plane was going to crash, would you still get on it because you are worried you will reach your destination late? No, right? Similarly, if you know this marriage could be really tough on you, with the added responsibilities of a teenager and another soon-to-be teenager, do you still want to go ahead with it, just because you might have to stay alone for a while longer?

I can't really make a decision for you, but I can urge you to rethink this alliance. It's great that you are trying to compromise but do not compromise so much that nothing that you want is given any importance. You cannot ask a father to send his child to a hostel so that you can have some privacy; similarly, no one can force you to raise him as well. The best decision would be to either reconsider the relationship or have an open conversation and come to a middle ground that works for all.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Loyalty is not rare in today’s day and age. I am sorry that you didn’t find someone who was to you, but it would be unfair to generalize. Now, coming to the more important point, financial stability is extremely important to maintain a happy marriage or even to have a happy life. Monetary troubles can add unnecessary burdens in life.

If you are unsure about getting married, it's best to wait a little and go forward with it only when you feel ready for such a commitment.

You mentioned you do not want to continue your job- do you plan on starting some other venture? I am a little unclear on this. Moreover, in today's day and age, it is almost essential for both partners to earn to live a decent life.
I hope these will help you.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is important for you to need to know her past and you mentioned that you merely want to know, and would not judge. But judging is exactly what you are doing. A lot of people have exes, a lot of people have occasional drinks- we can't judge people based on their past. She has opened up to you and all you are doing is snooping around. To be honest, it seems like you are really more concerned about her ex and past than about how amazing a person she is. I have only one piece of advice, if you think you can't get past her past, let her go. No one deserves to be judged by their past.

And think of it this way- you asked, and she told you. She was not obliged to, but still understanding your 'need' to know 'everything,' she confided in you. And this is how you are paying her back. Moreover, so what if she had an ex, or dated casually? How does that affect you right now? Ask yourself the same question and I think you will know the answer to your own dilemma.

Having said it all, marriage is a big decision. If you think her past can hamper your future, please rethink this relationship. It is best for both of you.

Best Wishes

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand why she is worried- it’s societal expectation and the made up concept of what makes a woman “perfect” and “desirable.” I don’t see how she can be doing “wrong with her future husband.” But I understand where this concern is stemming from; the answer is much more complex than a simple yes or no. For instance, if her future partner wants to know the truth and she decides to lie, it won't be fair. Or if the concept of chastity matters absurdly too much to her future partner, then it won't be fair. Otherwise, to get intimate or not is a very personal choice, and one is not more right than the other. I would suggest avoiding anyone who places an absurd amount of importance on people’s past and the concept of virginity.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are in a tricky situation. First, let's acknowledge that couples who decide to get intimate are not "bad." Their choice is just different from yours. You can try to explain the same to your mother- though it will be tough, everyone needs to understand this. Secondly, in this situation, all you can do is let her know that her upbringing will never allow you to lie to your mom or cross boundaries that will hurt her and your dad. This way, you might be able to regain her trust.
Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no hard and fast rule that you have to ask a certain set of questions. You can ask anything you like- things that are important to you, deal breakers, attributes you would want in your partner, etc. Anything that isn't rude, or too intrusive is okay. For instance, you can ask him what are his hobbies, passions, and career plans; does he like to travel, what are his values, his religious and political stance, does he drink or smoke, is he outgoing or loves to spend most of his time indoors, family plans, does he want kids, etc. These are all questions that will help you get a better picture of who this person is- but most importantly, let the conversation flow on its own. You do not have to make a questionnaire. You will get a fair idea of what to ask once you start talking.
Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I want you to understand that it is no small feat to realize the quirks and imperfections in ourselves- you have done it. Your effort to understand and rectify them deserves to be acknowledged and appreciated.
Now, coming to your question, I can only give you some general advice on each-
Emotional instability and dependency- these behavioral patterns can stem from various factors; it can be a lack of confidence or some past issues that are left unresolved. It is difficult for me to tell you exactly why it is happening. It can also arise from a lack of validation. To manage it, you can focus on self-regulation- like meditation or journaling whenever you feel these emotions rising. This way you are expressing them but not damaging your relationships. Take up new hobbies or goals. Achieving milestones can build confidence.
Navigating Boundaries- You can speak to your partner in the early stage of the relationship to understand their boundaries. This way there will be clarity and you won't overstep. You can set up some boundaries too.
For better interpersonal skills, you can proactively follow some rules- like active listening, avoiding overthinking, asking open-ended questions, and resisting the urge to seek your partner's approval.
About the awkward questions- it is important to understand that you might perceive them as awkward, but the person opposite to you might think of it as a genuine curiosity. As long as it isn't intrusive or inappropriate, there are no awkward questions.
Like these, I can only offer you some general advice. But the best advice of them all would be to seek counseling. It has done wonders for people. And the first step, which is identifying the issues is already done. Bravo! What's wrong with taking a little professional help in navigating the next steps? They can guide you in a more structured manner.
Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, I am really glad that you are being so responsible and practical, rather than making such life-changing decisions based on emotions alone. Second, don't worry about other's opinions; they might have your best interest at heart, but this should be solely your decision. You should have a child only when you are ready to have one- both mentally, physically, and financially. And no hard and fast rule says you should have a child within a certain year of your marriage. Two people in a marriage is a whole family too; a child can add to the joy if that is what you want. But if not, your family is still complete. Please remember that.

Take care of your health and your mind. If you are worried about your age, you can always go see a doctor and see how many years you can delay this. Rushing is never a good idea.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Himanshu,
How does her past matter in your present and future? Exactly how will her living together with her ex, at a point in time when you did not exist in her life, matter to you today? Why are you judging her based on the fact that she loved someone else before you? I understand that these feelings can creep in, but you have to counsel yourself. She isn't at fault here because everything that is bothering you today is in her past and she cannot change that, and why should she have to change it, anyway? Every time you find yourself feeling this way, you can ask the same question and answer honestly. And in case you think you cannot get over these thoughts, let her go. No one deserves to be in a relationship where they have to be constantly reminded of their past or judged for it.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no hard and fast rule that you have to be dating for a certain period of time before you marry someone. But, of course, if you feel it's too soon, you can communicate your concern to your partner. After all, it is important to be on the same page. And who knows, maybe something your partner says or does can put your mind to ease.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I really cannot comment if you are overreacting or have every reason to feel this way without knowing a bit more about the entire situation. But what I can tell is that you should communicate your feelings to your partner. Let her know that while maintaining individuality or pursuing individual wishes in a relationship is important, it is equally important to pay heed to what makes your partner uncomfortable. Your request, from what information you have provided, seemed reasonable, while her reasoning that it is the guy's fault, not hers also makes perfect sense. So I think the best course of action is to let the situation calm down and have an open conversation. Could she have avoided this meetup to make you happy? Yes. But, she could've thought that if she avoids one thing for your happiness, you might start asking her to give up more things in the future, which is a real issue in many relationships. I think it is important to clear up all of these concerns and feelings before moving on with lifelong commitment.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Zeenat,
I understand your problem. The best course of action would be to inform your parents about your relationship. Let them sit together and come to a middle ground, like an engagement or something that solidifies your relationship till your partner is ready to be married or his siblings are married off. This way, you both are compromising a little and yet getting somewhat of an official commitment.

But the first step is to bring the parents into the loop and see how it goes.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you still have feelings for your ex, but what about your present partner? What about your kids? Do you not love them? You made a choice and I know it might have been under pressure, but your choice should not hurt so many other innocent people.
If you wish to continue your relationship with your ex, I suggest you have an open conversation about the same with your wife. She does not deserve to be kept in the dark. Being the mother of your 2 children, she deserves at least this much truth and respect. You can see where it goes from there. But I do not think that you can go on much longer with your feet in two boats.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I need some more context to help you better in this situation. But generally, I understand your emotions; it truly can be difficult to get over someone you love. I would suggest spending as much time with your friends and family as possible; basically, surround yourself with people who love you and make you happy to avoid feeling sad. Focus on things that make you content- take up a new hobby, find your passion, and maybe join a running or cycling club to socialize with more people besides getting the dopamine hit from exercising.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A proposal is such a personal thing. I don't think I can help you with any plans but I can suggest finding out things she loves and something that matters a lot to her and incorporate that in your proposal. Moreover, you can find out if she already has some dream proposal scenario, maybe from a movie or series, and recreate that- you would be making her dream come true.

Hope these will help you.

Ans: Dear Devil,
What kind of proposal are you talking about? To get married or to be your exclusive partner? For the first, you need to think long and hard if you are ready for marriage. For the second, I think it will be sweet if you do- you two are already dating but if you propose in a more official way, it might make her feel special. So, please go ahead.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is very difficult to let go of a relationship you built from scratch. But I strongly believe that you deserve better. He left you, either out of family pressure or personal choice- but you deserve someone who will be with you no matter what comes. You gave him everything and he couldn't even give you his commitment. Do you really want to be with someone like that? Is that what you deserve? Understand your worth and move on with your head held high. I can assure you that you will find someone far far better than your ex. And why should you be the sole breadwinner and support the family alone? You deserve someone who will share every burden with you.

Please focus on moving on instead of getting him back. Again, I repeat, you deserve much more in life.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are unsure of her relationship status, you can ask around and get clarity on that. If she is committed, it would be indecent to approach her. If she is single, go ahead and talk to her. You do not have to ask her on a date right away or ask "Do you like me? or anything significant like that. Just go and say hi, or start with a smile when she makes eye contact and see where it goes. All of these will help you make some contact with her. But yes, make sure she is single before making any move. If things work out, you can ask her out for a cup of coffee. These are all low-pressure situations which will help your introverted self remain calm.

Hope these help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Marriage is indeed a significant decision and it can be scary to many people. First of all, I want you to understand that you are not alone. Coming to your next question, see there are advantages to both methods- on the one hand, if you find your own partner, you can pick a more compatible person. Whereas, parents have better judgment, most of the time. So, why don't you try a mix of both? For instance, you can create a profile on a dating app and find yourself someone compatible from there. It doesn't immediately have to be for marriage. You can simply get to know each other first and then move things forward. The way to make sure that you find someone who would be interested in marriage is to mention that in your bio- "seeking a connection that can lead to marriage." Once you think you both are ready to talk marriage, you take it to your parents and let them use their years of experience to double-check if the connection is worth pursuing.
Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are unsure of her relationship status, you can ask around and get clarity on that. If she is committed, it would be indecent to approach her. If she is single, go ahead and talk to her. You do not have to ask her on a date right away or ask "Do you like me? or anything significant like that. Just go and say hi, or start with a smile when she makes eye contact and see where it goes. All of these will help you make some contact with her. But yes, make sure she is single before making any move. If things work out, you can ask her out for a cup of coffee. These are all low-pressure situations which will help your introverted self remain calm.

Hope these help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is great that both of you have got this sorted before getting married. If you think that neither one of you can compromise on this front, I would suggest you rethink the relationship. Have a discussion and see if you can find a middle ground where both of you are happy- for instance, getting your own place but living with his parents on the weekends or something of the sort. If nothing works out, I would strongly suggest reconsidering the relationship.
Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your dilemma. All I can say is that neither one of you is wrong here. He wants commitment before he decides to wait for you, and you want some more time. Both your requirements make perfect sense. My suggestion is that if you really think that you can't commit, you should clear that to him right away, and let him decide whether or not he is okay to go on like that. It's not fair to keep him hanging nor will it be right to make a decision for him. Give him clarity of the situation and let him decide.

In case you guys decide to break up, let him move on. I understand the urge to comfort him, but doing so, you are only going to stall his moving on process.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Divyanshu,
Looks like some part of your question is missing. Please feel free to ask again. I am afraid I can't help you without some more context.
Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no hard and fast rule that you have to ask a certain set of questions. You can ask anything you like- things that are important to you, deal breakers, attributes you would want in your partner, etc. Anything that isn't rude, or too intrusive is okay. For instance, you can ask him what are his hobbies, passions, and career plans; does he like to travel, what are his values, his religious and political stance, does he drink or smoke, is he outgoing or loves to spend most of his time indoors, family plans, does he want kids, etc. These are all questions that will help you get a better picture of who this person is- but most importantly, let the conversation flow on its own. You do not have to make a questionnaire. You will get a fair idea of what to ask once you start talking.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

He mentioned he has a throat infection and hence, decided to chat over WhatsApp and avoid phone calls, correct? If that's the case, why are you assuming that it has anything to do with you telling him about your hypertension? Has he given any indication that the information has affected him? If not, maybe he just isn't in a condition to speak and prefers texts. The “not engaging” part can also be because he isn't well. Give it some time and see if even after he recovers, he is still not engaging much. In that case, you have reasons to worry and you can ask him directly if he is no longer interested. After all, you both are adults and in an arranged marriage setup, the goal is marriage. So, you have every right to ask. For now, give some benefit of the doubt, and some space too, since he is unwell.

Best Wishes

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As I cannot speak for Oyo, or give any insight on their rules and regulations, I won't be of much help here. Please contact the right people for this query.
Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address the most important thing first, does she really love you? I am not sure about that. It's neither a solid yes or a solid no. But therein lies the challenge. If there is confusion, there is concern. Moreover, the habit of drawing comparisons with other people and how they treat their partners is an indication of a toxic relationship. I would urge you to rethink this relationship.

There will always be someone better out there- with a better car, a better-paying job, or even better looking, but that doesn't mean we stop loving our partner and leave them for that "better someone." Loving your partner is a choice you make every day. Having said that, it is okay if she wants someone "better." Let her. You deserve better too.

Please reconsider this relationship, especially if it is causing you so much sorrow.

Best wishes.

Ans: Dear Raj,
Your concerns are valid, but it is not limited to online dating apps. Regardless of online and offline, cheaters will be there. But technically, the chances of getting scammed online are less because most dating apps have strict security policy and features. Despite these measures, people sometimes find a way to scam or cheat; that's why it is always recommended to be cautious while dating, and it goes for both online and offline- for instance, stay away from money talks, do not share sensitive details, be careful while sharing pictures, etc.

Moreover, most profiles are genuine people trying to find love or companionship.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is a tricky situation. I am sorry I cannot tell you what you should do, but I can tell you that you have to handle this very carefully because it's a sensitive matter and involves too many people and their emotions. You can discuss the same with your family; you might be worried about upsetting them but at the end of the day, it's your life and you will have to live a long long time with the decisions you make. Sort your priorities- ask yourself these simple questions: what would hurt you more- hurting your parents and making your wife collateral damage because of your confusion or not living the rest of your life with the woman you love? Once you can answer these truthfully, it will be easier to make a choice.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There isn't really a timeframe "set in stone." It's all about comfort. Everyone has their own pace; if she says that she isn't ready to be intimate in real life, then respect that. Do not rush her. There's nothing wrong with taking things slow. Also, you have to understand that there is a big difference between texting about intimacy and doing the same in reality. While she might be comfortable with the first one, she might not be ready for the latter. Please respect that.

Hope this helps

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that your virginity is important to him and you should not have kept this from him, but do you understand that your virginity is your choice? Why does he have a say in it? He is your partner- he loves you, but he doesn't own you. And what you did in your past is not something he can judge you by; why should that affect your relationship? I know that you love him but it's better to tell him the truth and accept the outcome than to keep lying and feel guilty about something you should not even be worrying about.

I am sure he has many great qualities but being so concerned about your virginity seems a little concerning. You are a person with so many other attributes. Why would he ignore all of that and care only about something that you have no control over? I suggest you tell him, but please remember, no matter what he says, you are not at fault here. It's in your past, a time when he did not exist for you.

Best Wishes

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Do you have an open marriage? If so, I understand what you are saying. If not, do you understand what you are saying?

I am assuming that you have an open marriage- even so, if you are not sure about your colleague's feelings for you or have no idea about her marital arrangements, it would be a terrible idea to approach her with this. Moreover, she has never voiced her interest in you- “loves being with you” is not the same as she loves you romantically or lusts for you. Please tread very carefully.

I am saying all of these considering you have an open marriage. If that isn't the case, I don't think I have to tell you how wrong all of it is, and how much you should focus on your marriage and whatever is lacking in it; you can even try marriage counseling.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Dakshesh,
I can't speak for her, but I can tell you that when a person, man or woman, is pushing you away and voicing their disinterest, it's best to give them their space. It can either be she is not interested in you romantically or she needs time to get there. But you cannot manipulate, push, or convince her to like you that way. If it happens organically, then good. Or else, you should respect her decision. Moreover, don't you think you deserve someone who likes you back the same way and chooses you over everyone else? I sure think you deserve better.
Please let her make her own choices and as for you, make better choices that are good for you. This toxicity and complicated relationship might be subconsciously exciting right now, but it won't be for long. You will get exhausted.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Neha,
Finding love takes time for most people. Sometimes we have no control over these things. I can suggest dating apps. You can add a bio that describes you well and also mention the kind of person you want. This way you will only attract people who are compatible with you. It can increase your chances of having a successful relationship. Nevertheless, everyone's love story happens at different paces. Don't worry. You will find yours too, in time.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Neha,
Finding the right relationship takes time for most people. Sometimes we have no control over these things. I can suggest dating apps. You can add a bio that describes you well and also mention the kind of person you want. This way you will only attract people who are compatible with you. It can increase your chances of having a successful relationship. Nevertheless, everyone's love story happens at different paces. Don't worry. You will find yours too, in time.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, physical violence is never the answer to any problem. I think you already know that. Coming to your main query, I think you should take the chain of events that followed after you confronted him very seriously. It's not healthy to slap and be slapped back and pushed into a bush. I am sure he regrets it just like you, but it can become a pattern. I would strongly urge you to rethink this relationship. If you are keen on keeping it going, I recommend either having an open discussion about what happened to make sure it is never repeated, or even better, consulting a therapist to work through the issues. You can have concerns and queries as to why he doesn't like it when your friends are around- that does not warrant such a harsh reaction.

I hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Sonalee,
I am not sure if it's such a good idea to go and meet her ex, but if that's what she needs to do for closure, then other than supporting her, there isn't much you can do. I know it sucks to see our loved ones in pain and making choices that will cause them more pain, but in some cases, we have to let them make their own decisions. Go with her since she is asking you to; look out for any kind of tricky situation and be there for her because it won't be easy.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Trust me, the right thing is to inform her parents about this. Torture is a serious matter and she should not have to tolerate that. I am very sorry that this is happening to her, but please encourage her to break up with the guy and tell her parents the truth. She can simply tell that she used to like someone, but does not anymore. This way, the guy can't blackmail her anymore and her parents will also know that she is not involved with him anymore.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns and they are absolutely valid. Have you communicated these worries with your partner? I mean, does he know how much this is bothering you? If not, I would suggest you start there. Open up to him. Let him know that his not telling his parents about you raises a lot of questions in your mind. He should understand that you are a person with dreams and desires and also a mom with responsibilities. If his intentions are to continue dating you, and that is not what you want, he should clear it out right now, before it's too late. It's important for couples to be on the same page when it comes to relationship goals.

Talk to him. I am sure you will get a lot of clarity.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I can't help you get her back, but I can help you understand boundaries. If she is saying she is not interested, the only clear conclusion from that statement is that "she is not interested." A no is a no. It does not mean "Convince me some more and I will change my mind." I am sure you are a great person and you will find someone amazing who is actually interested in you, but this woman is not the one. And what you are doing is not right. I would strongly urge you to move on and even if it hurts for a while, you should not be bothering her for that. Please respect her decision.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are in a tricky spot but it is important to understand that when it comes to their child, they have the right to make decisions and ignore everyone else's, even yours. You should keep your relationship and their co-parenting situation separate. Having said that, if you think your BF's ex is overstepping, communicate that to your partner, while letting him know that it bothers you and might even create friction in your relationship. An open and honest discussion is the only way around it. If expressing your discomfort is causing tension or considered ‘controlling,’ then you need to rethink the relationship.

I am sure your partner is truly trying to balance things, but since he is dating you, he should be aware of the areas where that balance is lacking. Communication is the only way.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Times have changed. 30s are the new 20s. It's the perfect age to find love. You are settled career-wise, you know what you want, and you are more emotionally mature to handle tough decisions. Since you are a busy professional, I would suggest online dating. You take 30 mins a day to scroll through some profiles, find someone who seems compatible, and chat from any corner of the world. I recommend researching a bit online to find the app that would be perfect for you- for instance, some apps are more suitable for people looking for serious commitment and some are better for casual interactions. Find the one that suits your needs. Then upload a recent picture, and write an appealing bio- use the 70-30 method, where 70% of your bio should describe you and the remaining 30% should be about the type of partner and relationship you are looking for. This way, you will attract people who meet your expectations.

And please do not worry about age and getting married. It's not about the right time; it's about the right person.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I cannot make the decision for you, but I can tell you that his points are not invalid. They have been decent and what they are asking for is very basic. Please remember that this is just my opinion; you do not have to feel the same way. And there is nothing inauspicious about signing a prenup. Think of it like health insurance- when you get that, do you indirectly wish for health issues? No. It's just a precaution.

While the choice of signing any agreement is yours, he has every right to rethink the relationship in case you refuse to do so. It does not make him a bad person. He is merely looking out for himself and his family. Please take ample time to make a decision; if you are not comfortable with it, or you think signing the contract and going ahead with the wedding might cause friction between you two, please reconsider the relationship. But I want to remind you again, he is not in the wrong for taking precautions. It does not mean he thinks you are in it for the money; it just keeps the money away from the equation.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, have you met this person in real life? A lot of true love stories start online, but it is very important to meet face-to-face before making any commitments. Secondly, not being able to forget his ex can either be the truth or a ploy to end this relationship with you. Either way, it seems like a zone of conflict and I would like to remind you that you deserve better. I know you love him but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and only you? Would you really like to be with someone who treats you like an option and draws comparisons with the ex? I suggest you rethink the relationship.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes, things look better on paper than in reality. You might have had a list and he checks almost all the boxes but that does not mean there is chemistry between the two of you. I understand your dilemma but I would strongly suggest letting him go if you don't love him the way he does. I am sure you would agree that he deserves better. You do not have to be brutally honest about it. You can just be kind and let him know that things are not working out the way you thought they would and it is completely a "you issue" and not on him at all. Do not gaslight him into breaking up or try any other juvenile techniques. This is the best way to part ways.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your frustration. You made some very valid points. You are absolutely right- no one has any business asking you about your virginity. And you are also correct that it does not define you at all. But the truth is, to some people, it matters more than it should. They are not entirely at fault alone; it is the whole society. Nevertheless, you are right. While it is your decision whether you want to lie or be honest, I would suggest telling the truth. Not for their sake; for yours. You should not have to live your married life always thinking "Would my past have mattered to him?" or wondering if things would have been different if you told him the truth. Moreover, being honest will set you free; maybe it comes with rejections, but at least you do not ever have to bear the weight of lies or feel guilty about deceiving someone. And most importantly, you won’t have to settle for someone who cares so much about such superficial things. Happy marriages cannot start with a lie.

We can't control what's important to whom, but we can respect them, even if we disagree. If you are not comfortable disclosing your body count or past, simply answer their question with yours- "Does that matter to you a lot?" If they say yes, you can reject him because your values don't align.

Hope this helps.