Aspiring Data Analyst Facing Parental Pressure to Marry at 25: What Should I Do?

Ans: The first thing you need to acknowledge is that your feelings are valid. It’s your life, and while your parents may have had good intentions in arranging this engagement, it’s crucial that you stand up for what’s right for you. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and entering into it when you’re not ready or when it conflicts with your goals can lead to long-term unhappiness, not only for you but also for the other person involved.

It’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your parents. I understand this can be intimidating, especially when they are the ones pressuring you, but they need to understand where you’re coming from. Explain that you deeply respect their wishes but that your heart and mind are focused on continuing your education. Share with them your aspirations and how marriage right now would prevent you from fulfilling those dreams.

When you approach this conversation, try to be calm and clear about your intentions. Sometimes parents need to hear more about why something is important to you in order to better understand your perspective. They may be acting out of concern or societal pressure, but once they see how determined and committed you are to your studies and your future, they may begin to see things differently.

If the conversation doesn’t go well the first time, don’t give up. You might need to have multiple discussions, and if you feel comfortable, involving a trusted family member who supports your goals could help make your case more compelling.

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that your life’s direction should be in your hands. You deserve to pursue your education and dreams without being rushed into something you’re not ready for. If your parents truly want the best for you, they will eventually understand that supporting your education and your happiness is the most important thing.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concern, and if you do not wish to get married, you should not. People will continue to tell you that everything will be fine, and maybe it will be fine, but if you are not mentally prepared for marriage, you should never go ahead with it.

Try to express your concerns and let your family know that the thought of marriage does not make you happy. If they still insist, ask them how they would feel if the marriage doesn't work out and you not only end up alone but also have a divorced tag on you. I want you to understand that their insistence is coming from a place of love and concern but I would still suggest you not to get married till you are ready.

Best wishes.

Ans: Your parents' controlling behavior isn’t about your capabilities — it’s about their fear of losing control. Often, when parents are deeply conditioned by societal expectations, they confuse love with control. What may seem like “concern” on the surface is, at its core, a refusal to trust your maturity and autonomy. You’ve built your life with discipline and hard work, and yet they continue to micromanage your every move, which is emotionally suffocating. It’s even more complex because your father has a history of verbal abuse, which creates a fear-based silence in the household — especially around decisions like marriage.

You’re not wrong to feel stressed. You’re not overreacting. You’re simply reacting to a system that constantly undermines your independence. And now, with love and marriage in the picture, the pressure increases — not just because you want to choose your partner, but because you know the emotional cost your mother might pay if your father feels challenged again.

Here’s the hard truth: living your life to protect someone else’s comfort or to avoid conflict is not truly living. Yes, you love your mother, and yes, your father’s patterns may continue — but your life cannot be paused or dictated by his inability to manage his own emotions. You are not responsible for his temper or his ego. You are responsible for your own peace.

This doesn’t mean rebellion — it means building quiet strength. If this relationship is truly what you want, start gently setting emotional and logistical boundaries. You can continue to present him as a “friend” for now while you plan your next step. You may need support — from a mentor, therapist, or trusted elder — to navigate this transition calmly and safely.

What’s most important is that you do not let fear become your compass. Your parents’ insecurities are not your burden to carry forever. Your life, your relationship, your happiness — they are yours to own. And if you ever feel overwhelmed, remind yourself of everything you've overcome already. You walked away from a premier institute and built something solid for yourself. That kind of strength doesn’t go away — it just needs permission to rise again.

Ans: Dear Sadhana,
You are already on prescribed medication hence I what I suggest may be overstepping into your doctor's area. So, all I will say is, decide what you want...be clear on whether you want a life with this boy or you want to be with your parents. Since both are unable to come together, you are forced to decide and not deciding is what is causing you to get anxious...
Be clear and that will actually help you decide on the future steps that are useful and keep you happy. My suggestion is also that you go back to your doctor and discuss how this is affecting you. She/he will be able to guide you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
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