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In a 7-year relationship, but her father disapproves. What should I do?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu We are In a relationship for 7 years and in my family they have accepted her as she frequently visits my home and meet my family members .She was trying for the past 2 years to convince her father but now her father is not even listening about our relationship and her mother though likes me doesn’t want to go against her husband . Her father said her that he wont be the part of her marriage and her life if she marries me .As a result my lady doesn’t want to go against her parents and be with me . Though she can’t live without me but she doesn’t want to hurt her parents and for that she is ready to leave me and go as per her parents and marry someone else.she has accepted that , her life will be hell as well as the person she will be marrying .Kindly suggest me what to do coz i cant imagine my life without her .

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes the reason for someone not liking you maybe a silly one.
Maybe her father wanted to find a boy for your lady or he wanted time to get to know the person. Try and find out from her what exactly bothers her father about you or the marriage. It can be frustrating to dig into this BUT hey, do what you have to, to make the relationship work, yeah?
A humble attempt in that direction where her father can see you for who you are and understand why his daughter actually loves you might go a long way not in just his acceptance in you but also pave the way for a better connection between him and you.
And oh, ask you lady not to give up...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 07, 2025

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Hello please help my gf agree with marriage of her parents choice of men forcefully.. she said she gave her 100% efforts but no one care about her opinion ..she said she lost all the hope her parents said yes to them but no further steps taken till now i said dont loose hope that easily but she keep saying i already tried my 100% but her parents not care about her opinion i said you have a chance to talk with the boy personally you can say that i am not ready for marriage my parents pressuring me.. may be he understand i dont lose hope if even 0.1% chance but she lost hope i dont know i should think that way but can you tell do you think she did her 100% efforts? And i cant move on whenever i think of moving on by trying to hate her but her caring message like i want you to get all the happiness in the world, please do study , she motivates me then after this i cant stop thinking about her because no one ever care about me that way.. my heart cry i got anxiety when ever i think about her marriage with someone else please help what should i do .. how do i move on.. please read my previous questions to know more about my story
Ans: Dear Solar,
I understand how difficult it must be for you to go through all of this- please stay strong. Coming to your question whether your GF gave her 100% to stop this wedding- no one, other than her, can truly answer this question. If you doubt it, you can ask her, but I don’t think that will help at all. Right now, your only focus should be on your wellbeing. If there is a chance to stop this wedding, it is on her. You really are not in a position to do anything about it. I know it is frustrating, but that’s the truth. If you try anything, you might ruin her relationship with her parents.


You have to focus on keeping your mind off her and the wedding and focus on yourself. Surround yourself with your loved ones. Try to pursue a hobby, keep yourself busy, and focus on your studies/career. I understand that you have anxiety and seeing a counselor about it can help more than you can imagine. But if you are not ready for it, for now, do the things I asked you to do.


Best Wishes.

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |179 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Mam, I am in relationship with one girl since 2.5 year and my girlfriend told about our relationship to her mom. Every positive point of mine which told by my girlfriend to her mom but every point taken negetivly and denied to her.. Move on from relationship... Leave this relationship. He is not good boy.. The problem of her mother is the caste as well as I am Divorcee person and she is unmarried. We love to each other and want to marry. Due to her mother oppose, she is nervousness totally or told that she has no any idea what to do... How to do.. She is not sure she is convince to her family or not. She told that I don't know how much time she can servive to convince her family. Totally her mind felt like empty, dumb, nervousness. Her father not know about our relationship. When this type moment occurs she behave that sometime it is agree to make efforts for convince and sometime when she is nervousness that time she told that i can not convince and to do the breakup because she is not want to go against the her mom and family. But she told that also she want to marry with me. What should I do?
Ans: I am going with the assumption you both are adults who are thinking individuals. I am also assuming you are both financially independent.

Families, parents are important and it should be so. I understand parents apprehension, having said this, I do not get it why caste and relationship status as previously married takes precedence over compatibility. One should also realise that every relationship needs working upon by 2 people- there is no certainty if someone gets married within their caste or choice of parents/ family.

Coming to your issue there are 2 options

- she is open to take the step upsetting her parents and getting married to you

or

- she and you need to move on and move on in the true sense. which means no connection whatsoever, move out of each other's social media, block contact details and move on, heal yourself and find someone else.

in case you wish to connect you may schedule an interaction with me here https://andwemet.com/relationship-guidance

..Read more

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

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