Relationship - Rediff Gurus

Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2025Hindi

My wife plays Candy Crush with random men at night. She even adds these people on her Facebook and social media. I have warned her so many times but she doesn't seem to care. She is 36 but behaves like a kid sometimes. She is playing games even when I call her during the day. Should I take her to a doctor?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Obviously, she does not seem to enjoy her time within the marriage or there's some other reason that she uses social media and online games as a distraction.
So, the two of you need to go to an expert who can guide you on getting your marriage on track. It may not just be 'her' problem but for both of you to deal with.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2025Hindi

My husband is married to another woman. Although they don't live together, I just found out that they are not legally separated. And neither of them wants to go to court. I am surprised how this is even possible in India. I met him at work during Covid, we dated for 2 years and got married in 2023. But I did not know that he was previously married but not divorced. It came to me during a conversation with one of their mutual friends and I was surprised. I am very upset and feel cheated. He says they don't speak to each other and she is currently in the US. Going to court would mean that she would have to travel to India. I don't think it is fair to me. This is my first marriage. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since I don't know your faith, I don't know if taking a second wife is allowed. If not, then your marriage is not even legal since the first marriage is not yet dissolved.
Please sort this with your 'husband' and see how things can move amicably.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2025Hindi

Hi mam. My mom is not willing to accept my bf as my future husband because of his family problems. What should I do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Then discuss this with your boyfriend. It becomes his responsibility to clear his side of issues which will enable your mother to have trust that her daughter is going to settle down into a good family and that her future will be safe.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 06, 2025Hindi

My husband cheated on me with my best friend who I treated like a sister. I was devastated. Now I have lost two most important people in my life. Worse? They are not even apologising for what they did. I wanted to talk, get some closure to understand what really happened. I wanted to know how long they've been dating each other. I feel betrayed and angry. I am also feeling helpless. What to do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The question here must be: Do I want to put up with this rather than how long have they been dating each other? Don't you think?
There's no apology or even feeling sorry for what they have done; does that not tell you how much they do not value you? Or is there any more proof that you want?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Question by priyankareddy - Jul 31, 2025Hindi

Hii my age 31now i have done my registered marriage in April 2024 without knowing of my parents and now i m living in my mother's House without telling that i m married ? Now how can i convince my parents. I have told my parents about him but don't even want to talk to him or his parents.. how can i convince my parents? My parents objection reason is caste Me belongs to oc my partner belongs to bc

Ans: Dear Priyanka,
You have anyway registered the marriage; now what is there to hide? If you had wanted them to be on your side, then the effort could have been before you went ahead with the marriage registration.
Now, be honest with your parents; respect their reactions as it may not be the way you want them to be. Address their concerns and now you may also have to deal with their anger/disappointment with your hiding the fact of the registered marriage.
At the end of the day, they are your parents; handle them with a lot of care and they are bound to turn around...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2025Hindi

My 24 year old nephew is having a hard time finding a job. It's now affecting his mood and motivation. Talking to him or simply having a conversation feels like walking on egg shells. It's hard to say what can trigger him these days, especially if it is anything to do with gyaan, or upskilling or simple advice like 'have faith.' How can we support him emotionally and help him stay encouraged during this difficult time?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Around him, act like it's all okay. He expects everyone to advice him; then just stay off and pretend that all is well.
That will allow him some breathing space to reflect and do what's best for him.
But, if it's really affecting him in a manner that is changing his moods often, it's time to tell him that this not just affects him but the entire family too. Being honest can help him also get around quickly and work at staying positive.
But the general rule is: when someone is going through a difficult time, the rest of us stay off advising and simply try and stay positive. Sometime or the other, things will improve...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2025Hindi

My BF is still paying his ex's shopping bills. I just found out through his credit card statement. I asked him and he says she is a friend so sometimes she asks him to pay his rent or shopping bills when she is going through a bad time. I mean, if you are poor, you won't ask your ex to pay for your shopping, right? Isn't this also a form of cheating? He says No. He is just being kind and helping a friend. Should I confront her instead?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your feelings are valid, but confronting her is not going to help the situation. The onus is not on her, but on your partner to care for your comfort. It is him whom you must have a conversation with. If this arrangement makes you uncomfortable, you have every right to express it. Let him know that you are not okay with it; it’s not about the money, but about the connection he still has with his ex. Let him explain himself properly because what he is saying right now sounds a bit vague.

But if his ex is indeed going through a rough patch and he is just helping her out without any romantic connection involved, you can then consider how to feel about it. But even if that makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s still valid. But first, please speak to your partner.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2025Hindi

My husband deletes our couple pics before posting on Instagram. He is okay with posting pictures of his friends. He says he wants to keep his family life private. I find it very odd. Is this secrecy a red flag? He doesn't smile in our pictures.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First let’s talk about the not smiling part; that is common for many. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything bad. But coupled with the fact that he deletes the couple pics, it does raise a few red flags. I don’t want to outrightly say that it seems fishy but it doesn’t exactly scream green flag either. He might be telling the truth about keeping his family life private but I have to stress on the “might” here. And most importantly, your gut says it’s odd. Usually that happens only when we see other subtle signs. Please be cautious and if you ever think something more is going on, don’t hesitate to communicate your concerns. It’s the unsaid things that build up more tension in a marriage.

Hope this helps.

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Shalini Singh |170 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2025Hindi

I love a girl but she does not love me what should I do

Ans: move on please, respect her decision and find someone who would reciprocate to the feelings you express towards them.

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2025Hindi

Hello Guru. I am a 35 Year old Female looking for marriage prospects.. I am talking to a guy past 3 months when the numbers were exchanged through parents. We have common interests and most of the non negotiables aspects also felt good so I have been positive about this alliance. However the concern with this guy is, he doesnt show much interest himself to start conversation or ask for call or texts me. Although he can see my instagram profile he said he just checked 1 or 2 posts. So not having interest or curiosity to know the person seems odd to me. I expect that he asks me about me ,my hobbies , family , aspirations, he will ask back only when I initiate and ask him the same question. Is this a point to consider ? Is this a indication of a person being full of themselves , will he have space and interest for a partner and her preferences ? He says he is quite flexible and friendly and seems his mother is also same. She spoke to my mom but just talking about their stuff and kind of boasting but not having any consideration to ask my mom about us or our family. He was in my city for 1.5 months but no effort to meet me, only once we met as a formality on the last day before he was leaving. Same with calls, in span of 3 months we hardly spoke for 4-5 times when I asked for. Through his mother got to know that they are interested to go forward and he likes me but I am not feeling doubtful with the above points. Please give me some suggestion on how to understand this kind of personality and whether I should consider confronting the same ? If I confront maybe he will start doing this, but is that worth ?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I know it can be very confusing, especially while seeking a life partner. It would be unfair to directly say that this guy seems uninterested and you should reject him. It would be unfair because we don’t know if he has always been this way or if he is this way only with you. But what’s completely fair is your doubt. You are right to feel worried and yes, it is not the ideal response from a potential partner. If your gut says something is wrong, please tread very carefully. You do not owe them anything, or you have not given your word; you still have ample time to take it slow and reconsider if needed. But before that, I’d say it can be worth having a clear conversation with the guy. Ask him directly if he isn’t interested in the alliance and if he says he is, then you can clarify why he never asks a single thing about you. After all is said and done, if his reasonings satisfy you, consider going ahead. But until then, don’t say yes.

Also, if behavior along with his family’s behavior is too odd, and you don’t want to put so much effort into clearing things out, you can distance yourself from this match. Again, you do not owe them anything. But it would be the decent thing to at least have one talk before doing so.

Hope this helps

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Dr Upneet Kaur |64 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Aug 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 06, 2025

I am in love with my cousin who is three years younger. She is my aunt's daughter. When we are together we feel really happy. She is also my best friend. We are both well settled and want to get married but our parents are against our match. According to them, we are related by blood and it can cause complications later on. Is this even true? I have seen so many friends who are happily married to their first cousins and there is no problem. How do i convince my orthodox parents?

Ans: Hello sir..Well, this notion is not entirely wrong as the chances of getting genetic diseases get higher. But on the other side, this culture had been very popular all over the world. So, marrying your cousin would not entirely be wrong. You can logically go with it.
For convincing your parents, you can request them that you both are happy with each other and want to live a happy life. I am sure that your and her parents will agree to the proposal soon. All the best ????
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2025Hindi

Ok, this is a long story so bear with me. Background: I'm a 48-year old woman (divorced 10 years back, childless, college lecturer) in a relationship with a 28-year old guy who happens to be my father's home care nurse. I was my father's sole caregiver for many years (no mother, no siblings), finally got the 24-hour nurse 1.5 years back. He took good care of my father (97, with dementia), the 3 of us lived together, I was lonely, one thing led to another, he said he loved me and we're together from 1 year. My father passed away 3 months back. Then the question was, how can we continue to live together? Neither of us want to marry at this point (maybe later). If he took another home care duty he would have to leave. So we decided he'll open a tea shop close to where I live, and stay with me at night. He did so 1 month back, and all seemed ok, except that he seems TOO invested in his shop now, leaves at 6 am, comes home tired at 8 pm, no weekends and doesn't seem to want to spend any time with me. He says it's because it's a new shop. As long as I was also at work during the day this didn't bother me much, but from the last 1 week I've suddenly been diagnosed with chronic appendicitis. Might need surgery next week. So I'm unwell and at home, unhappy, grieving my father, missing my boyfriend, but he's STILL away all day and won't take a break. If I ask him to spend a few hours with me he gets upset and says he can't, it's a new shop and he's building customers. I get frustrated and we fight about this when he gets home, which makes things worse; he starts threatening that he might as well close his shop if I don't let him run it properly. What should I do? Please don't ask me to end the relationship; I can't even think of living alone at this time, when I'm already upset about my father. I have no other friends or family. Also I don't think it's a bad enough relationship to end immediately - he's a good and caring person in many ways, and I'm quite sure he's not having an affair or anything. Other than quarreling with him about giving me more time (whenever I bring it up it becomes a quarrel), what options do I have?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's put things into perspective here:
You are 48 and he's 28...
You are perhaps trying to look for love again and he's just exploring where his feelings take him
You have tasted professional life and he's just beginning to get a whiff of it
You are looking to settle down again and he's looking to work hard to create an identity for himself

Can you spot the differences? It's not my place to tell you what to do with the relationship because you know that yourself. So, ask yourself where this is going to lead and if this is going to keep you happy. You can't clip someone's wings when they want to fly and then feel secure about your relationship just because you got that time for yourself; makes sense here?

Reevaluate the reason you got drawn to him; could it be that you were just lonely and wanted someone to care for you, give you attention? That's definitely not going to be a 28-year old who is flying high at his age!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2025

Question by Sadhana - Jul 26, 2025Hindi

Hi anu mam, I am 24 year's old girl. I am working in private company. My parents are aged my father age is 63 retired government teacher and my mother age is 50 house wife and I have one younger sister she is pursuing final year degree. My parents are forcing me to get married. But I am not at all interested in marriage now. I am in relationship his parents also aged he is from andhra. I am from Karnataka. We both are working in Bangalore in the same company. He is so gentleman no bad habits nothing. My parents are forcing to get married, they won't accept love marriage. I have depression and anxiety i am taking medications from last 2.5 years. i will be normal all the day if any tensions comes means I can't able to sleep the whole day and I will get anxious for little things also and I cry a lot for little things.this is my condition and my boyfriend knows each and everything about my health condition. He cake care of me very well. Now the problem is his parents are aged his father is 70 and mother is 62 he is having one yelder sister married. His parents are staying in Andhra. I am not able to communicate my relationship with my parents. I am getting fear. We both have family responsibilities. Sometimes we think let's breakup but we can't able to leave eachother. He needs some time for marriage. But my parents are forcing to get marry in 6 months only. Don't know wt to do. Please give me any solution for this mam

Ans: Dear Sadhana,
You are already on prescribed medication hence I what I suggest may be overstepping into your doctor's area. So, all I will say is, decide what you want...be clear on whether you want a life with this boy or you want to be with your parents. Since both are unable to come together, you are forced to decide and not deciding is what is causing you to get anxious...
Be clear and that will actually help you decide on the future steps that are useful and keep you happy. My suggestion is also that you go back to your doctor and discuss how this is affecting you. She/he will be able to guide you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2025Hindi

I hate to say this but my husband is spineless. Ours was an arranged marriage and right from the engagement to our second child, everything he does is with the approval of his parents. In fact he didn't even consult me about the name of our children. Initially I felt it was just about financial decisions, but now, even which school to go to is decided by my in-laws. It is so annoying. I cannot decide if I am married to an adult or a puppet who can't take his own decisions. I am an MBA educated from a reputed college but my opinions hardly ever count. I offered to quit my job because I wanted to be there for my children. Now they expect me to be a homemaker and refuse to allow a nanny into the house. My husband is an IIT-IIM graduate but his account is handled by his father and brother. I can't spend the rest of my life like this. I want to work, move out of this family, take care of my children. My children would need their father because they are still young. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have married a boy who acts like he wants to be an adult in the marriage. If he can't decide if he is an adult or a child, why even depend on him? You are earning well enough to make your own decisions. Start with something small; make a decision and stick with it...it could be about the children or the home.
Obviously, there will be strong opposition and they may overturn your decision, but at least it gives them the message that you have made one. Keep at it until the point that they realize that you have slowly begun to take matter into your hands...long task ahead but it's worth it when you reclaim your space in your own home not verbally but in subtle action...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2025Hindi

I am 36, female earning Rs 2 lakh per month, but I am single. I had my first relationship when I was 23 and we broke up pretty bad when I was 27. He moved on due to family pressure but I could not. I don't have a father figure or anyone in my family who would support my relationship. So I worked hard and rebuilt myself. I have dated several boys but I don't want to commit. I have a mental image of the boy I want to marry. And it is mostly related to my first love. Though we are not in touch, I find myself drawn towards men who are compassionate and soft spoken like him. Last year I got attracted to my married co-worker who reminded me of my first love. We both know we can't take it forward but there is an instant spark and connection between us that we cannot dismiss. He says he misses me when he is at home. When I realised he was distracted in his marriage, I took a step back and moved to another job to help him save his marriage. Now we are both broken and can't move forward. I have signed up for therapy but I don't think there is anything wrong in wanting to love someone who is kind and protective. My therapist says I could be looking for a father figure in my future partner.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It would be wise to trust your therapist. You are expecting a different answer that's possibly siding with you and your feelings and maybe that's why you have written in here.
If you start looking for your lost love in every man that you meet, you may never give a chance to someone who is differently good for you. Start to explore without conditions and without mapping that person to your first boyfriend. You will end up either disappointed or go in search of men who are unavailable. That's how you got yourself involved with a married man; now do you want your first relationship situation to repeat itself here? Spare yourself a heartbreak again and work on yourself and your unresolved emotions with your therapist. Soon, you will be up on your feet being in relationships that are good for you emotionally.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2025Hindi

I am 36 years old un married, during chat in instagram one of my junior contacted. How to approach to marriage proposals. She also looking matches , she asked my caste, income etc looking that she is more prefer that I am not the same caste . Inthis how to approach. And she used post her daily in insta fb with glamour pics, I feel she looking rich and bright person than me . She is also 36 years. So what to do . How to explain her my marriage proposals.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If she is not interested, kindly drop your plan.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2025Hindi

Hi actually there is this guy whose proposal came for my elder sister he's a nice guy my sister is not interested in marriage but i don't know why i liked him alot and messaged him he replied and strted having nrml convo he is 28 and i am 24 what should i do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
And what exactly made you reach out to this guy? Are you interested in marriage?
Let your sister first say NO to the marriage very clearly and then you can share with your elders that you like this guy. Do not go create a mess for yourself and others by making moves when there still hasn't been any closure with your sister and this guy. Makes sense?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2025Hindi

Well, I want to tell my friend... indirectly to stop giving cold drinks to her kid(5 years), can you suggest me how I should go for?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are really close friends, what's the hesitation? You could also suggest alternatives to cold drinks, like homemade lemonade. If she still doesn't get the hint or does not appreciate your suggestions, then simply stop...She's a mother and let her decide what's best for her child.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Asked on - Aug 06, 2025 | Answered on Aug 07, 2025

Thank you Ms Anu

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are most welcome :)

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2025Hindi

Hii, Currently I am 27, and i am in relation with my a girl since 2 years.We both understand each other's hearts. We understand each other's feelings. Her parents are ready to let her marry with me.But my parents are not ready. I tried everything to convince them but non is working. They are not ready because she is another cast. But I can't let her go. I have to leave my home. So please suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's never easy when you have parents who hold beliefs around inter-caste marriages. So, convincing them is out of question. the best you can do is talk to them about what you see in a life partner and why your girl is the best choice. And after that, you can only hope that they come around.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2025Hindi

Hii mam i have done my registered marriage in April 2024 without knowing of my parents and now i m living in my mother's House without telling that i m married ? Now how can i convince my parents. I have told my parents about him but don't even want to talk to him or his parents.. how can i convince my parents?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are in a sensitive situation. Patience and empathy is extremely important if you want to convince your parents. Understand their side; what are they objecting and why. Once you get that, it will be easier to debunk any misunderstandings they have about your relationship. Have calm one-on-one conversation with each parent instead of talking to both of them at once. Your first task is to make them listen, not immediately approve. Acknowledge any mistake they bring up; it is indeed unfair to not include your parents in your marriage decision, at least, in India. Though I am sure you had your reasons and I am not judging at all. But you need to acknowledge that it was not right of you to do that. This makes you come off more responsible, mature and sincere. Ask them gently what they do not like about your partner and once you understand it, show them his positive side.

Do not threaten, or give ultimatum. Don’t use dialogues like my life my decision if you want them to ever approve of this relationship. Be patient and give them time to come to terms with it.

Lastly, if you, even once feel that some of their objections are valid and you never saw it that way, please take things slow. We do miss a lot when we are in love. I am sure that’s not the case with you, but just in case, please do not hesitate to rethink.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2025Hindi

Dear Ravi, I am a 38 yr old housewife & mother of 1 son who is now 17 yrs old. We are Bengalis but in Pune for the last 12 yrs. About 10 yrs ago I used to regularly pick & drop my son to school then in class 3 , when I met another telegu woman who also used to do the same for his son. They were a close knit business family & sometime her elder jeths son who was then 22-23 yrs old used to come to pick up the kids. Many days I will gossip with him while waiting for the kids. Many a times I used to go to there house to meet his aunt & also talk to him, he was a good man but hardly completed his 10th , had some problems of bad company so his father got him to business. He used to call me aunty & I used to see him as my friends son( being my friend's jeths son). He used to then create problems at home & many a times my friend will ask me to talk to him which I used to do & he used to listen & correct. This gave me a good reputation in his family, this continued for 7-8 yrs before we changed our son's school . We were in touch initially then it became a very occasional call eventually loosing her phone number also. About 3 months back I met my friend in a mall by co-incident & started gossiping I told her of being single now. I enquired about her nephew & told me that they are not able to get a girl for him mainly because of his medical condition he will never be able to become a father, so they are now open for girls with kids. After a few days she called me to there house for a puja which I visited & also met with her family. After 2 days she & her sister in law suddenly came to my place with her jeths son, after an informal talk her jeths son took my son out & they asked me if I will be open to marry him. I am in a delima, I have seen this man always as a friends son& behaved accordingly but can I change my relationship with him to a husband wife. On this my friend she is saying that she is married to her mama as is acceptable in south , she gives her own story that she knew her husband for 20 yrs before marriage proposal & used to even play with him as her mama. It hardly took her time to change the relationship. Many of my friends talk about similar change of relationship. He & his family is very keen on this marriage. Can you help me to first decide if it is possible to change the relationship from friend's son to husband, if yes how to go about. I am also worried that in a few mnth my son will go to hostel for his engg & I will be alone

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you fear being alone, but I request you to not make a rushed decision based on that fear. If you feel you will never see this man as anything more than a friend's son, please do not push yourself to marry him. There is no love or romance in this arrangement; at least, not yet. And it seems like they are only pushing it because the guy has a condition. Please do not settle for just anyone because you are worried about being alone. Marriages can be lonely too.

I suggest thinking very thoroughly and clearly before making a decision. This alliance seems advantageous for them, but not so much for you.

Hope this helps.

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2025Hindi

I am from Hindu family from Karnataka state I and my cousin are in love She is my mother's brother's daughter's daughter can we marry each other my family and her family are telling that we are brother and sister

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Some parts of India, they still marry first cousins but in my opinion, children born from a consanguineous marriage can inherit genetic disorders.
So, if the elders in the family certify that you are related by blood, then you know it's a fact.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Question by Rajesh - Jul 19, 2025Hindi

Currently I am getting ready for my marriage. I work in poland in as a chartered accountant and I feel little lonely here. My marriage is fixed with a girl whom I met online 6 months back. I feel like she is trying to get her way by giving many logics and proving that she is right. At that time, I also feel like she is right. But later when I think I find that I am being manipulated for all my choices. Also she wants to know with whom I am talking on phone, what I am taking etc. She is asking me to move to india and settle somewhere in remote rural area where we can get fresh grocery etc as groceries in poland are mostly frozen. She also wants our future children to be home educated and dont want to send to school. I never thought about these topics before. I am feeling really stressed now a days and unable to concentrate on my work, I feel like my opinions does not matter and I am always getting convinced for all these things. I want to speak clearly but unable to do so. What should I do whether to proceed further on this marriage ?

Ans: Dear Rajesh,
What would you tell your friend if he came to you with the same question? Would you ask him to proceed with the marriage or actually process what is happening?
You obviously know the answer...meeting someone online and not really getting to know them at a personal level to see if value systems match, is what has happened with you. So, before you decide anything, meet with her and then decide...the big red flag is not asking you for your opinion on anything; does that not ring a bell?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi

My husband earns more and keeps reminding me that I contribute nothing. Actually, I left my job after our second child was born and have been a full-time mom since. But every time we argue even over small things, he would remind me 'I pay all the bills. What do you even do all day? You scroll through your phone, gossip with friends and just spend all my money. We don't even have a maid. I feel like my unpaid work has no value, and that I'm losing my dignity bit by bit. Is this normal in Indian marriages? I cry sometimes. I don't want to involve my parents. I can't go for a job now because I am 42, and it's been 8 years since I worked anywhere.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Just once mention about how much you do at home and how he does nothing; watch his reaction.
Playing power games through money is not cool and can erode the marriage in various ways. Now, what makes him do that is anybody's guess...he's possibly just worried about the fact that suddenly the financial responsibility is all on him.

Remind him that you are a stay at home mom so that your kids would have a safe environment to grow emotionally and physically. I am sure he just needs a nudge at this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Question by priyanka - Jul 19, 2025Hindi

My cousin sister ( shikha ) married 2 years ago arrange marriage, every thing is ok ok in marriage. But she is living away from her husband since 1 year . Now she feels that she is not connecting emotionally with her husband due to living away . Now she is going to settle down with her husband.but it seems like a burden. Her husband is not romantic, not childish, a boring character, every time he is talking about work n future plans like old man . How she handle this situation.

Ans: Dear Priyanka,
I am really sorry to hear that your cousin is not feeling satisfied in her marriage. Since they have not lived together for a while, this distant feeling is common, but that doesn’t mean it will continue even after moving in together. It is entirely possible that she and her husband will get along well after living together for a while. And if it still does not improve, the best thing is to openly communicate her concerns.

Not everyone is romantic, and some people are a little plain compared to others, but it isn’t fair to judge someone based on just that. They might not be generally romantic, but change over time with the right match. Also, planning about the future and work is not just an old man’s job; young people need to have the same sense of responsibility to live a comfortable life. Please ask your cousin to see if the situation and relationship improves after living together. If not, suggest her to discuss it directly with her partner. He should know what’s bothering her, if he needs to change or improve something.

Hope this helps.

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2025Hindi

My wife and I are married since 2009 and have 2 kids. From last 5 years, I have observed that my wife doesn't listen to me at all. It is like my presence is not important for her. My words, thoughts, or actions are unnoticed. She does everything exactly opposite to what I suggest her. I even tried to talk to her, or ask her the reason for not listening to me. But she acts as if there is no problem at all. She will do everything what she wants. So, nothing in my house happens according to my wish. It is like if things goes according to what she wants, then it is fine, else it is not. So, either I need to sacrifice all my work, presence or expectations, and do everything as she wants or to leave her and stay alone. We also tried to talk to a marriage counsellor, but it didn't help to change her opinion or actions. What is your suggestion?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there is a breakdown in emotional connection, women have a tendency to be laid back about the marriage.
Now, if this is the case, it is difficult to find reasons but surely you can make a good attempt at winning her over. Small gestures like gifting her flowers or a day off from household chores, asking her about her day, complimenting her...
Also, check if you have started to become very instructional; woman DO NOT like husbands instructing them constantly and will shut off almost immediately.
Instead offering to do things together will help her bond with you...

So, it's possibly not about you or listening to what you have to say BUT possibly the manner in which you say or request is important to her. Involve yourself in her world and see things change.

All the best!
Dear Anonymous,
Oh, she can treat this as though she's just married. Start fresh and new and there's so much to explore with one another and within the marriage only if she is willing to go in with an open mind.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Question by Dipayan - May 31, 2025Hindi

I have been suffering from severe OCD for the past 8 years and i could not recover from it. What should i do i could not understand. I have seen a lot of doctors about it

Ans: Dear Dipayan,
Please see an expert who knows CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) along with a deep understanding of how the mind processes situations that lead to OCDs. You can find references from known people or the internet. Do read the reviews and take time to talk to the expert before signing up with them.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi

I want to share something, my sister got married 2 years back . Due to some personal reasons n study she is living away from his husband frm last 1 year . Now she is saying that she feels no emotion connection with her husband .they are very opposite in nature . Now she is going to live with her husband as all personal issues sort out . There is no any other problem. Kindly advise how to make this marriage with good love n respect

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Oh, she can treat this as though she's just married. Start fresh and new and there's so much to explore with one another and within the marriage only if she is willing to go in with an open mind.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2025Hindi

I'm a 45-year-old divorced father of two amazing kids, ages 8 and 12. We live in Delhi. My children spend weekdays with their mother and weekends with me. After spending three years on my own, I recently met this girl who is wonderful. We've dated for over 8 months and she knows that I have a family. But every time I think about introducing her to my kids, this massive wave of guilt washes over me. I remember how hard my divorce was on them, and the thought of causing any more stress just crushes me. I want to know when is truly the right time to bring a new partner home? How do I do it in a way that protects my children's feelings?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you and you ex-wife are on good terms and good at co-parenting, she maybe willing to step in and help out with this new situation. But if you prefer to keep her out of it, then talk to the kids gradually introducing the idea of another woman in your life.
As you do this, reassure them that the new lady will not replace their mother or that the kids have no pressure of accepting her immediately.
You may face resistance initially, but take heart and work slowly at it with constant reassurance. Your kids will watch if you are changing in anyway or taking away their time, love and attention, so you might have to keep your weekends only for them so that they feel connected, loved and reassured by you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2025Hindi

Anu, My husband and I have been married for five years, and honestly, we feel more like roommates than passionate partners these days. Between busy jobs and raising our little one, we're just drained. How can we get that spark back, the closeness we used to have? What can we actually do to feel connected again when we're so tired? Or is this just how long-term marriage goes?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Obviously the initial spark dulls as the years go by; the key to keeping the spark alive is to do something different.

- Have someone like a relative or a close friend watch the baby as the two of you go on a date night
- Plan the weekend for a hobby together other than just household chores
- Steal a few cuddles and a little bit of intimacy off the bedroom

Marriage can get boring but that's because the laziness sets in due to the other person being so familiar. What if you put yourself back into the dating scene/ courtship days? Would you not go that extra mile to look good, to laugh more? Just do that...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Question by mods - Jul 18, 2025Hindi

I'm 21(M) B.tech(2year) and I have been stuck in fantaasies from all my years of childhood. I use to compare myself to many other people across in many areas(study, looks, their friendships, social network, bravery, fight, love..etc) cause those were the things which I also wanted but never got it! I was a very shy(insecure) , socially nervous, scared kid. I kept all inside of me & just tried to get good marks in exams... this made me inactive in other areas(cause I always wanted to be best, but never tried), bitter, sour in myself and still it's same but the fantaasies & Insecurity, doubt, inactivity, fear of failure and sometimes fear of success has caused me to a Miserable Life. Now I'm just like a lonely, sad, lazy, overthinker person but still I always try to make a better version of myself..(read positive book, self-help, meditation, gym, being social) but after 3-4 days the consistency breaks and due to lack of guide I get back to previous state of mine. I try to improve but being in my comfort zone, the fear of uncertainty in out of comfort zone make my thought/self-talk Terribly scared, nervous and full of disbelief in myself & I quit! Unless there is some external pressure/urgency. And in all these the job, future, skill are all like Dark! Tell me something...

Ans: Dear mods,
Merely trying to improve isn't going to help you improve because the reasons for which you actually want to improve are not clear to you. You are simply comparing yourself to others and 'trying' to be like them or do what they do.
What makes you not focus on what you want to do? For this,
- identify what you are good at
- stop this self-pity party that keeps you tucked into your comfort zone
- challenge yourself with small things first
- ask a friend to be a 'buddy' who can act like your mirror and also motivate you
- celebrate small wins and also analyze your losses too

Unless you start somewhere, you are not going to change and along with changing self-talk, also ask yourself the most important question:
What change do I want in myself and what are the things that will make that happen?
Follow through with a plan BUT this is possible once you shake yourself out your self-pity and choose to move ahead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2025Hindi

Hello Sir, I am 26 yrs old and Data Analyst in a good company and everything is going well. But sometimes I feel lonely it feels like nobody is there for me to love me and when i see some people get engaged i feel someone also should be there for me to love me and i have never been in a relationship because of immature proposals. But now i want a good partner to make me feel good. Please help me out. Thank you.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your feelings and it’s totally valid. Even with everything going great, life can seem lonely. That is very natural and more common than you think. And seeing others finding their partner can feel like salt in the wound. All your feelings are valid. But what you need to understand is that rushing to get in a relationship can end up in more loneliness; relationships can be lonely too. Take your time. Love doesn’t have a set timeline. Ask your friends to set you up with someone who seems compatible, or try dating apps; it will give you more control on whom you are letting into your life. You will find someone soon; you are too young to rush into anything. If you are trying an app, make sure to mention what kind of a partner and what kind of relationship you are looking for to attract the right people and not waste time and energy on ones that are too different from who you are or what you are seeking. It will be a bit of trial and error, and honestly, there’s a certain fun in figuring out what you want, too. I’m sure your love story is going to start soon!

Best Wishes.

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2025Hindi

My name is Akshat Kumar. My age is 19. When I will find my first relationship.

Ans: Dear Akshat,
It is difficult to predict when you will find your first relationship. But I can tell you that you are 19, and have the entire life ahead of you. You will find someone soon. Just talk and socialize with people, try to make new friends, try dating apps if you haven't and find the right kind of people from there. Finding love doesn't have a set timeline; it is different for different people. You will find yours too.

Best Wishes.

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Mohit Arora |71 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 25, 2025Hindi

My name is Akshat Kumar. My age is 19. When I will find my first relationship.

Ans: Talk to a lot of girls and you'll find one.

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Mohit Arora |71 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2025Hindi

I met a girl thought arranged marriage, it's been a 2 week we are talking on vcall and message all day. Abd we like each other a lot. Our thinking match a lot. Sometimes i feel she is understanding me properly and it will be the best relationship for me. She said that she has been 6 to 7 relationship and she was physical with them all along in her past but she will be loyal and devoted to me. Other side I've never been to any kinda relationship in my past and I was focusing on my career and I achive a lot. To be honest I am not able to digest that she was with 7 to 8 guys in proper physical relationship in last 10years. And now she want to settle with me. She is not bringing anything on table other than understanding and look. And I am bringing he'll lot of money, look and understanding. Only thinking killing me is she was with 7 to 8 guys. I didn't meet her yet, we talked a 2 week now family asked to meet an finalize the but look wise I like her but this point is not going away from my mind. I'll be the 9th guy and what she will look after 10th and 11th guy? What should I do?

Ans: So what? Sex is a good thing..even if she slept with those been men it's okay. You didn't because you didn't have options. Had you the same number of options, you would have too.

And likely she is downplaying it.. The number could be bigger but kudos to her for being honest about her 7 to 9 partners. Make sure she is not faking it just for your money.

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Mohit Arora |71 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 27, 2025

Question by SANJEEV - Jul 27, 2025Hindi

I have developed feelings for a colleague but the problem is that both are married . I am unable to concentrate. The only option left is to leave the job altogether which is impossible at this juncture.My wife suspects something fishy as I have been absent minded . Kindly guide.

Ans: Developing feelings is normal. Since you are married, you have to not let that affect you. You don't need to leave the job. Not being able to concentrate is just an excuse

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 19, 2025Hindi

Hi Anu mam, my wife have freindship with other gender. He maintain freindship with her school friends of other gender.one of them asked her out before marraige. She said not interested and continuing friendship.how to make her understand friendship with other gender after marraige is risky?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Friendship with the other gender after marriage is not risky but it can become risky if boundaries are not drawn clearly.
- What exactly are you worried about when she speaks with another man?
- Has she suddenly stopped caring for you and the home?
- Have you any proof that she and the man are interested in one another?
Sometimes, it could also be that you are uncomfortable with her talking to another man and so it feels wrong that she is doing that. If she's maintaining healthy boundaries and not ignoring her marriage, why worry?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Upneet Kaur |64 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 22, 2025Hindi

I am (35) married for 4 years (wife 31) and it was an arranged marriage. During our conversations before the marriage that she told me she had a boyfriend and she broke up with her ex bf as he cheated on her. I was never in a relationship all my life till I started talking to my current wife in the year 2020. We only met in person after speaking to each other for more than 9 months via video and audio calls as both of us were living in different countries. After our marriage in 2021 we now have a 2 year old kid. A year ago, I found out that I was her 6th or 7th relationship. She also had physical relationships with several guys during her university days in Udupi, Manipal. She was also in a live in relationship in Udupi for almost a year with her boyfriend during her final year. After her graduation she moved to another country where she was again in an emotional and physical relationship with a different guy. After knowing all this I feel traumatized. I don't have any feelings for her as of now. I just do not care about her existence anymore. I am only worried about the future of my child. The most horrible part is that we still live together under the same roof. Our parents are in India and we reside in US. I really do not know how to proceed. The only good value that I see in her is that she is a good mom to our child. She has a good rapport with my parents and they like her a lot. My parents often suggests my younger sister to consider her as a model. These reasons prevent me from filing for a divorce. My wife does not have an income and if I proceed with a divorce she will have no means to stay here and will have to relocate to India. Most probably Custody of child will be with her and I will not be able to survive a day without my child beside me. I am just trapped in this traumatic, unproductive marriage of mine and it prevents me from accomplishing my goals. I work late hours and try not to be at home just to avoid seeing her. Trying to avoid physical relationship as well. I feel it disgusting these days. Is there a way out?

Ans: Hello sir. Well, this is actually a very complex situation. Knowing all this about your partner and still living with her could feel frustrated and trapped. Filing divorce could make this relationship even more complex. For your daughter, as you told that she is a good mother and daughter in law. You should take a pause and rethink about it. Take some time with yourself and try to forgive your wife. You ll feel more peace and eventually you ll be good.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on:
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Dr Upneet Kaur |64 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2025Hindi

I am currently facing issues in my marriage. My husband is extremely hurt and angry with me and wants separation because of a blunder committed by me. I am extremely remorseful of my actions and want reconciliation with my husband and daughter. How can I convince my husband to give me another chance. I really want to redeem myself and prove myself to him

Ans: Hello mam. Well, we always have choices in our life, it may be with our married life also. We have to make intelligent choices so that we do remain happy and content in our life. May be your husband also had such options available but he chose loyalty. Now, the next step is to apologise to your husband about this and convince him that your daughter needs both parents for development. If your daughter is devoid of any one of parent, she will be depressed and her personality will get distorted. It may take time, but let your husband cool down a little then may be he ll understand the situation.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on:
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Dr Upneet Kaur |64 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 30, 2025Hindi

Hi, I married forcefully to a girl, iam not interested in her, I want to separate with her, only 10days of my married life she is harrassing me with her words, and she don't want to give divorce, am fedup with my life what should I do pls tell me

Ans: Hello sir. I understand your situation. But the information you have given is very less. Before answering your question, I would like to know some more things. Like why were you forced to marry this girl and why you don't like her? Was she also forced to marry you? And now how is she harrassing you?
Kindly answers the following questions so that i can guide you in a better way.
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Dr Upneet Kaur |64 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi

My husband ignores me unless he needs something. Like he will not say Good morning or ask how my day was. But he will ask me where his wallet is, whether dinner is ready. Beyond that, I barely exist in his world. We live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, but we don't have a real conversation in weeks. He scrolls through his phone all evening, and shows no interest in how I feel or what I do all day. Even when we go out shopping, he will not share any feedback. I feel invisible in my own marriage. I have seen my parents behaving like this. Is this how marriage becomes over time?

Ans: Hello mam. Well, mam as time goes by in marriage both partners take each other for granted. That communication slowly fades away and only few things are left. May be your husband must ve feeling the same and is longing for your attention coz when kids are around then us time of couple vanishes. But this communication and spark can be returned by the efforts of both partners. You should take initiative. Plan some dinner out, just both of you. Spend some quality time together. Things will be good in a few weeks.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2025Hindi

Raviji, I'm a 34-year-old marketing manager in Mumbai. After a decade of chasing career goals, I finally signed up on a dating app. I met this guy, R a few weeks ago. He's 36, funny, smart, and we share a love for old Bollywood movies. But every time I text, or if he takes a bit longer to reply, my mind just explodes with 'what ifs' and anxieties from my last tough breakup, which was 2 years ago. I have taken therapy but there are times when I am not completely over him. We live in the same city and sometimes I do bump into him at the mall or the coffee shop in the vicinity. It's like I'm constantly replaying scenes from the past. How do I stop overthinking and enjoy this new connection? I desperately want to just feel happy and hopeful. Is it so hard after a breakup?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry that you have to continue feeling this way, even after the breakup. But it is more common than you know. Break up is not equal to forgetting the person or stopping to feel for them entirely. Moving on takes time for some, especially when you keep seeing him time and again. I suggest you allow yourself to feel these things but at the same time allow yourself to feel for someone new. If you force yourself to stop feeling, it will push through nevertheless. Once you find a connection good enough to care for, you will organically forget about your ex.
And yes, it can be this hard after a breakup for many people. Healing is not linear.
Hope this helps.

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Dr Upneet Kaur |64 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi

Dr Kaur, I have been married for 3 years. Ours was a love marriage. We dated for 5 years during college. My boyfriend, who is now my husband used to be a harmless flirt. He had many girlfriends before me. When he proposed to me, he promised that I was the only soulmate in his life. Now, when we go out, I have noticed that he ogles at other women. I agree that he is charming and girls find him attractive. Sometimes he casually flirts with my friends as well. No one has a problem or complaint. But I am feeling threatened. When I mentioned, he said I am jealous and there is no harm in staring at other women or flirting harmlessly. He said marriage should not feel like a jail sentence. I don't know how to handle this.

Ans: Hello mam. Well, i understand that you are feeling jealousy in this situation. But if he has a nature like that that he takes things casually and does not do anything that is harming others then you should not feel threatened atleast. But yes you should talk to him and explain him that this nature of his is hurting you. And its also true that marriage is not jail, but make him understand that we both should enjoy woth each other and take care of each other's needs and emotions.
Take care..
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on:
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi

My boyfriend compares me to his ex who was more 'open-minded.' I'm 26, he is 31 and works in an advertising agency. We met through a common friend and got attracted. He constantly talks about how his ex was more 'open-minded' when it came to intimacy, drinking, and dressing. Every time I tell him why I can't dress up in revealing tops or talk in a certain way, he makes me feel backward and boring. He says he loves me but always jokes about how he wishes I could be more like her, especially in how 'free' she was. Maybe I am overreacting but I also feel like maybe I'm never good enough. My friend thinks it could be a form of emotional manipulation. Honestly, it's too early to comment but I want to know how to find out if he is right for me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are definitely not overreacting and your friends might be on to something. I am not going to go as far as emotional manipulation but it is definitely unhealthy to constantly compare your partner with your ex. Bringing up your ex is not just demeaning but could also point that he is still not over her. I suggest you confront him about this. Let him know that you do not appreciate the comparison; it isn’t fair to you and it’s not fair of him to expect you to be like someone else, let alone his ex.
If he continues to do the same, or tries to defend his behavior instead of listening to what you have to say, please reconsider the relationship.
Hope this helps.

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Ravi Mittal |632 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi

My boyfriend wants to have sex but I'm not ready. What do I say? How do I say no to him? We have been dating for 3 years since college. I am 23, he is 25. I don't want to sound too traditional and lose him. We have not even kissed properly.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, just saying No should be enough. But I understand what you mean; you want to gently decline the advance. I suggest you politely tell him that you are not ready for that level of intimacy yet and it has nothing to do with how much you feel for him. Also, please do not be ashamed of who you are; whether you are traditional or you are more on the modern side, both are completely fine. And if you need more time to get there, or decide to wait till marriage, that is completely fine too. There is no hard and fast rule that you have to do certain things at a particular time.
Hope this helps.

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Kanchan Rai |623 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi

We haven't had sex in 6 months. Are we even a couple anymore? It's not that I haven't tried. In fact, I've made the effort so many times. I have dropped hints, dressed up in pretty outfits. But my husband always says he's too tired, too stressed, or just not in the mood. We're only in our early 30s, married for five years. We have a 4 year old son. I think the gap widened after my son turned 2. I'm starting to feel rejected and unwanted. Are we just going through a rough patch?

Ans: Yes, it’s possible this is a rough patch. The transition from being partners to parents often shifts emotional energy toward caregiving, survival, and responsibility. Many couples go through seasons where intimacy takes a back seat—due to stress, exhaustion, resentment, unspoken hurts, or even changing hormones. But six months of no sexual intimacy, especially when one partner is still trying, is not just a phase to wait out. It’s a signal—something deeper may be going on emotionally, physically, or relationally with your husband.

The most important thing now is to move from subtle hints to open-hearted conversation. Not confrontation, not blame. But a real, calm moment where you say something like:

"I’ve been feeling increasingly distant from you—not just physically, but emotionally. I know life has been exhausting and we’re both stretched. But I miss being close to you. I miss feeling wanted, seen, connected. Can we talk about what’s going on between us? Not to pressure or fix it overnight, but just to understand where we are?”

You're not asking for sex. You’re asking for honesty, presence, and partnership. And if your husband is emotionally closed or dismissive, it may help to involve a couple’s therapist—someone neutral who can help unpack any barriers between you two.

This isn’t just about sex. It’s about closeness, and the quiet loneliness that’s creeping in despite being married and sharing a home and child. Don’t keep absorbing that pain in silence. You deserve connection, not confusion. And your marriage deserves a chance to heal, not just survive.

You're not overreacting. You're paying attention—and that’s the first step toward change.

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Kanchan Rai |623 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2025Hindi

Hi Shalini, I am in an awkward position. I am 34, single. I have been chatting under a false identity with a guy who is cute and charming. In the last 2 years, we got really close where he told me a lot of things about his personal life, how he was coping with an ugly divorce and politics at work. Without realising we helped each other get better in our lives. In fact, he has been my greatest cheerleader, pushing me to do better at work, even get a promotion. While he has been honest about his intentions, I have never shared my real name. I got the shock of my life, when he sent me his recent picture. This guy turned out to be my current boss. It can't be a coincidence right? I feel so wrong to have led him on. Now I can't even send him a picture or should I just send it? He is in his early 50s and I am pretty junior to him at work. Will he think I manipulated him? Ever since I have known that I am dating my boss, I have been avoiding him. I have also noticed that he is distant and stressed at work. I feel guilty. What should I do? It's been two weeks and I have kind of ghosted him, he is worried sick and wants to know if I am alright. He texts me almost every day and night. He thinks I don't like him because of how he looks, but I don't have the courage to tell him that I was talking to him pretending to be someone else, while we worked in the same office. How do I explain this without hurting both of us?

Ans: The longer you avoid the situation, the more painful it will become for both of you. Ghosting him may feel like self-protection, but to him, it’s abandonment—especially after the emotional bond you both developed. And more than anything, that silence feeds his worst fear: that he is unlovable.

So, what can you do? You begin with honesty, not by confessing everything at once, but by taking responsibility gently. You can say something like:
"There’s something very difficult I need to share, because I value the connection we’ve had and the kindness you’ve shown me. When we first started talking, I didn’t expect it to mean so much. I used a different name and didn’t realise who you really were until recently. That discovery shocked me, and I’ve been scared—of your reaction, of mine, of the consequences. But I also feel immense guilt, because the connection was real for me. You’ve been someone I admire deeply, and I didn’t want to disrespect or mislead you."

This is not about asking him to forgive you or continue anything. This is about closing the gap between who you were and who you are now—with courage, clarity, and care.

He may feel betrayed. He may take time to process it. He may even need space. But you will have done the right thing by coming clean. And regardless of what happens next—whether the connection continues or not—you will walk away knowing that you chose truth over fear.

Also, give yourself grace. You’re human. We all make decisions that seem easier in the moment but become difficult to carry later. What matters now is how you handle the truth—not just for him, but for your own growth and peace.

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Kanchan Rai |623 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2025Hindi

I'm 21(M) B.tech(2year) and I have been stuck in fantaasies from all my years of childhood. I use to compare myself to many other people across in many areas(study, looks, their friendships, social network, bravery, fight, love..etc) cause those were the things which I also wanted but never got it! I was a very shy(insecure) , socially nervous, scared kid. I kept all inside of me & just tried to get good marks in exams... this made me inactive in other areas(cause I always wanted to be best, but never tried), bitter, sour in myself and still it's same but the fantaasies & Insecurity, doubt, inactivity, fear of failure and sometimes fear of success has caused me to a Miserable Life. Now I'm just like a lonely, sad, lazy, overthinker person but still I always try to make a better version of myself..(read positive book, self-help, meditation, gym, being social) but after 3-4 days the consistency breaks and due to lack of guide I get back to previous state of mine. I try to improve but being in my comfort zone, the fear of uncertainty in out of comfort zone make my thought/self-talk Terribly scared, nervous and full of disbelief in myself & I quit! Unless there is some external pressure/urgency. And in all these the job, future, skill are all like Dark! Tell me something...

Ans: The inconsistency you feel isn’t a reflection of weakness. It’s a result of being caught between two parts of yourself—one who wants to evolve, and one who is afraid to lose the comfort of old beliefs, even if they no longer serve you. That internal conflict is heavy, especially without a guiding voice to help you sort through it. You’re not alone in that—many young adults feel exactly this way, especially those with big dreams and high sensitivity to their environment.

Rather than trying to “fix” your personality or “force” your discipline, start by restoring trust in yourself. Trust doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from showing up consistently for yourself in small, simple ways without pressure to perform. Your fear of failure and even your fear of success are both rooted in the same place: the doubt that you are enough as you are.

It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to not have all the answers. The goal isn’t to become a different person—it’s to become more at peace with the person you are becoming. Self-leadership starts here: by choosing compassion over criticism, patience over pressure, and honesty over performance. Even if your steps are small and scattered, they are steps forward.

You don’t need external urgency to change. You need internal safety to try. So let’s shift the story you’re telling yourself. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You are learning, growing, and unlearning decades of conditioning—and that’s not only brave, it’s transformative.

Keep going. Gently, but steadily. And every time you fall back into old patterns, remind yourself: coming back is progress too. The journey to emotional strength is not about never falling—it’s about returning to yourself, again and again, with love.

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi

Hi Anu, Is it normal for a friend's husband to flirt or make a pass at you despite knowing you are close to his wife? Recently, my friend's husband has been complimenting my looks excessively. He texts me late at night. Once he even tried to touch my hand during a party. I have been feeling extremely uncomfortable when he is around but I am not sure if I am overthinking or reading too much into this. Should I confront my friend about her husband's inappropriate behaviour? I am afraid it would ruin our friendship. How do I handle this situation where a married man, who is also my friend's husband, is crossing his boundaries?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No, it's not normal for a friend's husband to flirt or make a pass at you unless you have given them the permission to do so; implicitly or explicitly...And when you don't object to it, then it's a green signal for the guy!
To make things uncomfortable for this guy, the next time he tries any Romeo moves like touching your hand or moving closing to you, ask very confidently: Excuse me, do you want to say something me?
That will give him an indication that you are not okay with this and also indicate to the others that he's violating your physical boundary.
But even after this if he does not stop, you can talk to your friend and oh, make sure that you save all of his texts...But be prepared to lose your friend as she's not going to choose friendship over her marriage...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1679 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2025

Question by Siddharth - Jul 15, 2025Hindi

Hello madam, I am a 35 year-old software Engineer from Pune. I am living with my wife, sister and mother in a joint-family setup. My wife and sister both are working. I got married in Dec 2022. Last year due to project ramp-down, my wife had to move to Hyderabad for work. During that time, only she was living in Hyderabad in a rented flat, I was still trying to search for a job in Hyderabad. But after 6 months, around March 2025, her project in Hyderabad got ramped down again. She tried searching for jobs in pune and hyderabad, but she could only get interview calls from Pune. So ultimately had to settle back with us in pune. She does have a regret moving back to Pune. Now after 2-3 months of moving back to Pune, one night she started picking up a fight with me and she said she doesn't like a joint family setup, and wants to move in a seperate apartment. She is too much attached to Hyderabad City ,that she was forcing me to search for a job in Hyderabad. I explained her that last year also I was trying a lot for a job in Hyderabad, but couldn't get a decent job, and I am still trying to search for a job in Hyderabad but due to tough market situation and some bad luck unable to get a good opportunity. I also said we can move to another rented flat in pune as well, but she is still adamant about moving to Hyderabad. I tried to explain her that it would be easy for me to attend any family emergencies related to my mother or sister of we at least stay in the same city, but nothing works. My sister is suffering from clinical depression and due to this, she is still unmarried. We did tried to search a suitable alliance for her but we were unsuccessful. This also upsets her a lot, and the fact that my mother and my sister are financially and emotionally dependent on me, makes my wife sad and angry. I do always to make things work for her , but the fact that I also have to look after my mother and sister brings problem in our marriage. My mother is a single parent hence the reason she is dependent on me. My sister is working but her income is not that much that if I stopped supporting, the household will work. Now I am highly anxious that if I really don't get a job in Hyderabad, how things will take shape for me and my family. Things do look quite scary at this time, trying to convince my wife to look for rented flat in pune but no luck yet.

Ans: Dear Siddharth,
You seem to be fair in requesting your wife to shift to another place in Pune which will take care of your family and your wife as well...
What seems to be the issue with that for her? What is in Hyderabad that is not there in Pune?
Is she worried that your family will drop by without informing?
Does she worry that you will be neglecting her and attend to only your family?

Anything that seems unreasonable usually has a hidden reason behind it; she's not sharing what exactly the issue is or she is yet to figure it out herself. My suggestion to you is to have a good heart to heart chat with her where you address her concerns and share yours, so that she understands you as well...The only way to solve issues is to come to meeting point and then find a win-win...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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