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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |52 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My husband and I met in college. We dated for 6 years and got married in 2018. In covid after his parents moved in, we started having arguments. Since we had nowhere to go, arguments turned to fights and we couldn't even sleep in separate rooms. After his parents left, we became distant. Our relationship became toxic with constant fights, blame game and emotional manipulation. I finally walked away to my parents place, thinking I'd feel free. Instead, I'm crying every night. Did I make a mistake, or is this normal post-breakup grief?
Ans: Hello mam..Well, firstly just be calm. Take some deep breaths and feel the positive energy inside you. I would like you to write one positive things or one good moment which you remember from each one year of your dating. So six good moments for six good years. After that the good moments for the years you were together after marriage.
After that the negative things that happened to you and then compare the points. Do you really feel that you want to break up with him. No, you ll feel the difference. Love is not leaving your partner after some fights or conflicts. It is all about making your relationship stronger after each conflict.
Parents are part of us , weather they are his or yours. You can't ignore or leave them. You have to live with them and should learn the good things from them. Your parents must have also fought a lot of times but they must never thought to leave each other. We should accept each other with flaws. You should initiate the talks and should try to patch the things up. I hope this works..
Take care !
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet
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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |166 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Mam, I am in relationship with one girl since 2.5 year and my girlfriend told about our relationship to her mom. Every positive point of mine which told by my girlfriend to her mom but every point taken negetivly and denied to her.. Move on from relationship... Leave this relationship. He is not good boy.. The problem of her mother is the caste as well as I am Divorcee person and she is unmarried. We love to each other and want to marry. Due to her mother oppose, she is nervousness totally or told that she has no any idea what to do... How to do.. She is not sure she is convince to her family or not. She told that I don't know how much time she can servive to convince her family. Totally her mind felt like empty, dumb, nervousness. Her father not know about our relationship. When this type moment occurs she behave that sometime it is agree to make efforts for convince and sometime when she is nervousness that time she told that i can not convince and to do the breakup because she is not want to go against the her mom and family. But she told that also she want to marry with me. What should I do?
Ans: I am going with the assumption you both are adults who are thinking individuals. I am also assuming you are both financially independent.

Families, parents are important and it should be so. I understand parents apprehension, having said this, I do not get it why caste and relationship status as previously married takes precedence over compatibility. One should also realise that every relationship needs working upon by 2 people- there is no certainty if someone gets married within their caste or choice of parents/ family.

Coming to your issue there are 2 options

- she is open to take the step upsetting her parents and getting married to you

or

- she and you need to move on and move on in the true sense. which means no connection whatsoever, move out of each other's social media, block contact details and move on, heal yourself and find someone else.

in case you wish to connect you may schedule an interaction with me here https://andwemet.com/relationship-guidance
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi! Please give me some suggestion to deal the issues of affairs that my sister has with a married man of 2 sons.
Ans: The most important thing is to approach your sister with empathy, not judgment. Many people fall into such relationships not because they set out to hurt others, but because of emotional gaps, loneliness, or false hope offered by the other person. It’s likely your sister feels emotionally invested, even if deep down she knows it’s not sustainable or healthy. Instead of directly condemning her, try to gently ask her how this relationship makes her feel — not just in the happy moments, but in the silent, hidden ones. Does she feel secure? Does she see a clear future? Is she constantly afraid, unsettled, or hiding?

Help her see that relationships built on secrecy and divided loyalties often end in pain, not peace. Let her know she deserves a relationship where she can be fully seen, respected, and acknowledged — not one where she must wait in the shadows while someone else remains the priority. Remind her that no matter what the man says, unless he has taken real, ethical steps to end his existing marriage — not just words — she is being asked to accept less than she deserves.

You don’t need to force her out of it — that may push her away. But you can keep showing her the truth gently, reminding her of her worth, and encouraging her to envision a healthier future. If she’s emotionally attached and unable to break free, suggest she speak to a counselor or therapist to process her feelings with clarity.

Affairs rarely end with peace for anyone — not the person having it, not the one being betrayed, and certainly not the children involved. The longer it continues, the more damage it quietly causes, especially to your sister’s sense of self.
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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |52 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jun 30, 2025

Relationship
I am male married since 2013 , I was working full time and had good career for 10 yrs, I absolutely did not had any physical or mental health issues before marriage and was working full time as IT professional. After marriage from begning I had conflicts and disputes with inlaws. They were keeping too many expectations from My Wife and were doing lot of interference and trying to control My Wife and our married life. They were not allowing us to live our married life independently. There is no issues or conflicts between Me and My Wife and she is living with Me by her own will , but My Wife is mentally and physically weak so she does not handle inlaws and is unable to set the boundries with them after marriage. My in laws are immoral, highly manipulative and controlling people, on face they show and act as if they are very matured people and gentleman but behind they do all sort of negative and immoral activties. They also practice black magic and do all sorts of immoral activities to control My Wife and harm Me. After 5 yrs of marriage , I am suffering from rare, severe and complex Neurological disease since 2019 , I am like bed bound, and having difficulty in talking, sitting upright for long time. I am not able to work due to My severe health condition since 5 yrs now. Taking advantage of My severe, rare and long term health condition , My in laws are defaming Me and spreading rumors about Me to the neighbours, relatives and wherever I go by tracking My activities. They are telling that I am mentally unstable and have had physcological / mental issues from begning of marriage and they are trying to earn fake soft corner of thier daugther in front of people saying that our daughter is caught in this toxic marriage and her life is getting spoilt due to this marriage. They are also tracking each and every activity of Mine by hacking my mobile and creating severe obstacles by defaming Me and spreading rumors about Me They are trying to block My medical treatment by misguiding the Doctors and also blocking anyone who is helping Me ? They are forcing Me indirectly to convience My Wife and take mutual divorce and also demanding Money one time Amount from Me. --------------------------------------- How can I deal with such situation ? Considering I am bedbound and My health condition is severe , I am not in position to take legal action against them What can I do to stop this defamation and turning people against Me ? What can I do about tracking of all My activities through hacking of My mobile ?
Ans: Hello sir.
I am sorry to hear the situation of yours. I would suggest you to keep your wife in confidence so that your in laws can't reach your doctor and you can take your proper treatment. Secondly dont take stress of defamation. People around you know you. Now just concentrate on your health so that you can recover from it and join your job again.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 30, 2025

Relationship
I'm 18 and I broke up with my bf months ago.. It took me a lot of time to realise it was a toxic relationship but I still don't think I have completely moved on. Like basically it began after I showed a little interest in him,and then he proposed and I said yes. I didn't know much about him then. I'm a good student and always excelled academically and he initially appreciated that..he was really a insecure guy and I tried to comfort him but then things got bad he began to feel off and I started developing feelings for another guy so I broke up with him. And till now he tells his friends I played with him.. I never got into any relationship after him though that guy ( the second one) proposed ( I realised he never respected me either) and he (my ex) accuses me of cheating...i dealt with all these things while giving my boards..after 6-7 months of my breakup.. results were announced..I topped my school. Then I messaged my ex in a friendly way and he seemed to be really jealous and like.. spoke like he couldn't stand my status..he still gives status claiming that he loves me and I left him because he is not as good as me ....what do I do..even my friends told all of this is my fault since I kinda started it and I admit I was not a very good gf either...what do I do..I still get flashbacks of his hurting words and maybe like I'm more concerned about how to get my image back in school after dating him..or what others are thinking
Ans: Dear Ishani,
If you thought he wasn’t good for you, and things were off, you must have had good reasons for thinking so; you are too young to understand love. People usually mistake infatuation for love. If you think you were right to make that choice, stick to it. Do not let others tell you what is right or wrong. There’s always two sides to every story. Focus on your studies; build your career. All these will be long forgotten. What others are thinking should never be your concern when you have not done anything wrong.
Best of luck for your future.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu I'm 35, recently widowed. My husband passed away in a road accident. I was in a state of shock when he left me. I took a break from everything and resumed office only six months ago. A young man from my office, whose engagement was cancelled last year, has started showing interest in me. I don't know if he is doing it out of sympathy that I am a widow. But I am beginning to enjoy his company. I am surprised and also worried if it is too soon. I never believed there would be another guy in my life after my husband. Do you think I am feeling lonely? He's 37, gentle and respectful. We haven't kissed or got intimate. No flirting either. We like each other's company and there is an instant spark how we light each others' lives. I don't know if I am open to love, if this relationship will work. I don't know yet but how do I check if I am emotionally vulnerable? My family and in-laws would disapprove if I moved on 'so soon.' Is it wrong to date someone so early? I am feeling guilty too.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss.
And NO, it is not wrong to date someone; early or not is something that is very subjective in nature. It is possible that family and in-law may disapprove of you moving on, but over time when they realize that you are searching for a true companion and if the person is someone that they can trust, there maybe no reason why they will object.

Now, here comes a reality check questions;
- Are you jumping into another relationship after you have healed from your grief and you feel that you are ready for a new journey
OR
- Are you impulsively giving into your feelings of loneliness and this gentleman seems to fit the label of someone who is caring and keeps you distracted from your grief?

If it's the first case, then I am sure you know that it feels right; then it's just a matter of your family understanding it when they can...
But if it's the second case, please exercise caution as it can backfire leaving you feeling more lonely and less fulfilled...

Evaluate it keeping your emotions aside and I am sure you will come to the right decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2025

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Anu, I saw your podcast on Rediff Are you being forced into marriage? My cousin is deeply in love with someone from her college. Both are 21, recently graduated. My uncle has clearly refused to accept them and is planning to send her abroad to live with our great uncle in Canada. We are a conservative family. Once she reaches Canada they plan to marry her off because she is being emotionally manipulated by our family. I know because I went through something similar. I couldn't contact my boyfriend and he was sent away to another city to look for a job. I waited for him but we couldn't communicate. Thankfully my husband understood and gave me time to accept him. I don't want to take that risk for my sister. I really want to help my cousin as her Canadian visa has already arrived. The boy belongs to a poor family and doesn't have a job yet. He has two elder sisters who are also dependent on him. He is a loving, hard working guy but they will need a few years to be financially independent. How can I help my sister? Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 21, love, marriage and without financial independence. Very filmy it all seems, right? Sadly those movies don't talk about how to survive without money or how to actually become financially independent.

Kindly guide your sister to get academically strong and find a job, so that she can support herself first. For this, she is going to have to buy time and possibly will be asked by her parents to stay away from her boyfriend as well. So, ask her to buy time now and request her parents to wait until she finishes her studies...it's worth taking that risk, waiting...so that both can be financially sound and then the boy can approach your cousin for marriage. Right now, why do you think the parents will agree! The boy is 21 and does not earn...why would or should your cousin's parents accept him? They are concerned for their daughter; can you blame them?

By being stubborn about this, the parents are only going to get more firm about it and the chances of your cousin being with her boyfriend will be difficult.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |166 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I'm a software engineer from Bangalore. I am 28, and I am dating my girlfriend who is a Punjabi for four years now. She comes from a modern family, eats non veg and has a carefree lifestyle. She suggests we go for a live-in relationship, but my conservative Tamil parents strongly disapprove. They feel our cultures and lifestyle don't match and we should not hurt each others' emotions and families. Can a live-in relationship affect our future? What should I do?
Ans: Live-in relationship is form of an exclusive committed relationship which means - you are as committed to as one is when one is married - which means committed socially, emotionally, physically, financially.

The key difference between marriage and a live-in relationship is the legal approval — marriage comes with a legal

That said, both marriage and live-in are committed relationships, and both require continuous effort. They are, in their own way, lifelong works-in-progress.

As for your journey with your partner, you might choose to begin with a live-in and add the legal stamp later.
If you plan to have children and continue living in India, it’s important to understand how live-in relationships are viewed under local laws, as these vary across countries.

Now, about your cultural backgrounds — one Tamilian, the other Punjabi — yes, they’re different. But that’s also the beauty of it. This is a wonderful opportunity to explore each other’s culture, language, and traditions. With time, families can also come together and find common ground.

And who knows? Once your families see the two of you living together, happy and compatible, they may come around and fully embrace your choice.

Wishing you both the very best
If you’d like to discuss this more personally, feel free to book a one-on-one interaction with me:
https://andwemet.com/relationship-guidance
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Anu mam, my wife and I have been married for 18 months. I have always grown up around girls. My best friends are girls, one is married, another is single. I have two sisters, one elder, one younger, who is not married and lives with us. She is in college and financially dependent on me. Two of my closest friends from office are also women, and nothing's ever happened between us. But now, my wife says it's inappropriate to chat with girls. If I am late from work, or stay up late replying to texts, she accuses me of hiding things but it's not true. The first time she got suspicious, I gave her my password, and even showed her my chat history, but it seems, it's not enough for her to trust. She says if I love her, I should choose her over 'outsiders.' How is this fair? I feel suffocated already. Will this marriage work?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your wife possibly grew up in a family that had strict rules about gender and behavior between genders and maybe it was quite the opposite at you home. Who is right in this? Neither!
You just learn and understand that you both come from different backgrounds and your experiences around hanging out with the other gender were shaped differently.
Sit down and have a conversation around it. On her part, your wife just will need to trust you and your part, hang out with a few guys every once in a while. A good round of Squash with the boys won't hurt you and will keep your marriage going, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2025Hindi
Relationship
, I have been married for almost 14 years and have a 10 year old. A few months ago my husband found some intimate chats of mine with someone else. I am extremely remorseful of my actions. Honestly those chats happened because my husband never showed me any love or concern. However I know that's not excuse to have those chats. After seeing those chats he got extremely angry and threw me out of the house. It's been more than 3 months. He is not willing to forgive me. He wants separation and he has told our daughter also that we are separated. I am so heartbroken that because of my blunder I lost my husband and daughter. Is there any way I can get back with my husband
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There are always going to be reasons to do something or not do something and there is no point mulling over it.
For your husband, his trust has been broken!
Now, is it hard to bring back that trust? Yes, especially with the way your husband has reacted on it. He does seem sensitive about the whole thing and understand that it has possibly hit the pride of a man who is meant to keep his family happy and safe. Suddenly, the world that he had protected is encroached upon by another man. Your husband is bound to feel 'less', 'inadequate' and 'worthless'. That is why he has opted to separate as he finds it difficult to reconcile or even think of why he could not take care of his family.
Now, rather than beating yourself up for it, gather the courage to talk to your husband requesting him for a one on one chat with you. If you want this marriage to work, even your husband needs to work with you...no point acting on it the way he has and not take the responsibility of connecting with you emotionally that could possibly have been one of the reasons that you sought comfort elsewhere. An expert intervention will help provided your husband is also willing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Relationship
Hi ma'am I'm 25 years old and my relationship with my parents is getting sour since a very long time they always want me to do everything that makes them happy and think about their happiness if I ever think about my happiness or do anything that makes me happy then they fight with me and portray me as a bad daughter and my dad has always said that if she will ever think about her happiness or do anything that makes her happy then I'm gonna leave everything and go so does my mom she also threatened to cut ties with me if I ever do anything that makes me happy my parents never supported me for anything they never ask me who I wanna get married to who I'll b happy with what profession i wanna take nothing but it's always about them in my family there are 16 members who have had love marriage and inter religion marriages my grandmother stays 15kms away from my house she has 3 kids 2 of her daughters had a love marriage one to a muslim one to a hindu her one daughter ran and got married to a hindu guy at that time my mom dad and her mom didn't even say a word but accepted him with open arms and my grandmother got her 2nd daughter married to her boyfriend who is a muslim during Covid 2020 without informing any of our relatives when my parents got to know about her daughters marriage they invited her for lunch at my place they didn't even say a word or opposed that marriage but accepted him with open arms and showered them with love When I fell in love with a hindu guy my mom started to seperate me from him and she is telling everyone to brainwash me to leave the person person I love and find a suitable Christian guy for me when ever we go to my grandmother's house my mom always brings up my boyfriend's topic and start fighting with me infront of them we went there 3 times and all the 3 times she fighted with me and told everyone to brainwash me my mom always support my grandmother's children if anything happens to them she will call them 10 times and ask how they are and when my grandmother was ill treating me my mom didn't even take a stand for me or raised her voice for me but she was watching everything as a movie is going on when I was crying after we came back to my house my mom didn't even ask me what am I going through she always support my grandmother who did bad with me if they will say not to let her work and get her married my mom will listen to her and her daughters and my grandmother also started forcing me that I should also listen to her and get married to a guy who they choose and i should not at all think about my happiness and what makes me happy in my life and i should think about her and my parents happiness and my uncle who lives in Hyderabad he also started to get interfere in my personal life since the time he got to know I fell in love with a hindu guy he also started to seperate me from him and forcefully get me marriage to a guy of his choice my uncle's wife has been expired 15 years back and this age he has a girlfriend who lives in banglore she is a divorcee and her daughter is also a divorcee who he met in Facebook i didn't interfere in anyone's personal life or seperated them from their boyfriend or girlfriend and everyone who have had love marriages in my family and everyone are happy with their partners when it comes to me my parents uncle my grandmother and her daughters who have had love marriage always try to seperate me from my boyfriend and forcefully get me married to a Christian guy if anyone in my family will fall in love with a inter religion person then he/she is a good guy/girl according to them if I fall in love they seperate me from him and forcefully get me Married to a Christian guy i told my parents many times to talk to him and know him but they are like no we don't like him and they always say he is not a good person and always judge my boyfriend even without talking or knowing him once but for others even without talking to their partners they say he is a good person and they will accept him with open arms and also invite them for lunch and everything and will always stay at their place during trips but if I do they will mentally harass me to leave the person I love and get married to a guy of their choice recently we went to Bangalore for my sister's marriage who also had a love marriage at that time my uncle had come to the wedding and he was asking my mom did u brainwash her to leave him and get her married to someone else and my mom was saying yes I did with my aunt's daughter who also had love marriage I don't understand why they always try to seperate me from the person I love and forcefully get me married to someone else who I'm not at all interested in when I'm telling them about him they are not ready to listen to me at all plus they are mentally harassing me to leave him if I take help of any of my relatives who had love marriages in this matter they will not listen to me but force me to listen to my parents and do as they say what should I do ma'am I'm shattered
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
I gather that many members of your family are against your relationship and interfering in a way that will keep you away from him. My question to you is: Are you financially independent? If Yes, it helps you stand up for yourself. But is NO, then this will make you vulnerable to their decisions...
Now another question: why are they so against this boy? Is he younger to you or not working and financially sound? I mean, what is the reason according to you that they have chosen to be against this when they are okay with others in the family doing the same?
There is surely something that they are not comfortable when it comes to the boy that you are in love with. Find out what that is; it's the question of you life, so don't be so floored by love that you miss out on a red flag. Also, it will help if you stop comparing your situation to others and indulge in so much self-pity. Focus on what exactly is going on, ask your parents as a mature adult on why they dislike the boy and understand if it's real or not and act accordingly. so much of blame game and self-pity will only take your focus out and you will end up more miserable and not do what's the right thing for yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Ravi Sir, Hi. I'm 27, engaged through a family-arranged match. My fiance is kind, well-settled, and earns 2 lakh monthly. His mother is a bit authoritative. My father-in-law is sweet. I have met him and his family a few times, but I don't feel any physical or emotional spark between us. I've tried to flirt with him, but there is no chemistry, which is very odd to me. When I told my parents, they said this is normal. They showed me examples of how love can grow after marriage, but honestly, I am not sure. Is it wrong to expect your partner to be romantic? Our marriage is in October. Should I call off this wedding just because there's no attraction? We have spent 3 lakhs already on the engagement and in August we plan to book the wedding hall. Pls advise
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns and they are totally valid. Please understand that romance and the idea of it is different for different people. For your parents, and their generation, romance growing after marriage might have been good enough but that does not necessarily mean it should be the same for you, or the same thing will happen in your marriage. I am not trying to scare you but rather I want you to know that your concerns are valid. Having said that, your partner’s idea of romance can be different from yours. The best thing here is to talk it out. Tell him what’s bothering you and ask if there is anything going on with him. It’s always better to address the issue no matter how uncomfortable it might be than regret later. Calling off is quite a serious decision, and it’s best you speak to him and think long and hard before deciding. But if your instincts say something is off, there is always a 50% chance that something indeed is- don’t ignore it.
Hope this helps.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2025Hindi
Relationship
i remarried(prior widow)(39),took my daughter(14) along in this new marriage, now i hv a daughter(7) from this marriage, its been 8 years now,my husband keeps fighting on money as i am a homemaker now,as there is no one to look after, we are from different caste, thus he fights on food preparation too,we had agreed before marriage,that if his mum looks after the future kid i m willing to work, but that did not happen,he is extremely fussy about some foods and likes only few veggies or preparations,but is open when mom makes,thus he does not even take tiffin,i dont understand what should i do,he keeps on taunting on previous life,as my 1st husband was not earning,thus i used to go,now as there is no one to look after i told him,as he earns well, there is no need for me to go for a job,but he is insisting,i receive partial rent from my dads property,which i pay part rent and he pays part,he pays for food,his home loan SIP. i dont understand what is the problem,my daughter is not ready for babysitting,she gets upset.i always ask him what should i prepare today,he fights on that too, i just want to make what he likes.plz help
Ans: Your husband’s constant complaints about food, money, and your past are not just hurtful — they reflect deeper issues of control and emotional insensitivity. He is disregarding the fact that you are raising two daughters, trying to maintain harmony in the house, and even contributing part of the rent from your own limited resources. Your life before this marriage is being used against you unfairly, when in truth, that part of your journey made you stronger and more committed.

The truth is, this is no longer just about whether you work or not. It’s about feeling disrespected, dismissed, and unheard. You’ve tried to care — asking him what he’d like to eat, trying to avoid conflict, even putting aside your comfort to please him. And yet, he continues to find fault. That is not a reflection of your failure, but rather of his emotional disconnect and unwillingness to meet you halfway.

Right now, what you need most is clarity. If he insists on you working, the caregiving arrangement has to be revisited — he can’t expect you to work outside and carry all the home responsibilities without support. And more than that, he needs to recognize that partnership means sharing respect, not just finances. You can try to have a calm conversation where you tell him honestly how you’re feeling — not to blame, but to express how deeply this is affecting your emotional health and your ability to feel safe and valued in your own home.

If he’s not open to listening, you may need to consider involving a neutral third party like a family counselor. You do not have to fight this battle alone, nor should you carry the entire burden of the relationship.

You deserve more than just being tolerated — you deserve care, respect, and peace.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship
M 51 and she is 23 we met in office, we came up with relationship not totally of having sex but as attraction turned into love so many time like we kiss hug and caress each other but in My mind never thought about to have sex and sometimes she also was eager to have sex but she also denied later in office many of them had doubt of our relationship so some brain washed her mind and now she wants to end and she told me to discontinue as ahe factory and marriage can't be done as I m married with one kid, as also she has fear of her mother and family, ahe sometime says I got married and even now she wll get married to someone but end of this relationship but My feelings of truly love hurts me and I feel should I call her once and have sex so she will not think about ending relationship till marriage but My mind says it's wrong as I truly love her, what should I do to make her to stay or be with me as till she get married pls suggest I m in truly love can't able to sleep and too much stress became in My mind
Ans: First, she is 23 — very young, still forming her identity and values. You're 51, already married with a child. The relationship started in the context of attraction and care, but it now exists in a space of emotional imbalance and fear — not trust or possibility. She's not ending it because she doesn’t care about you; she's stepping back because she’s afraid of the consequences, societal pressure, and perhaps even the future she knows cannot unfold the way either of you may have wished.

You’re feeling pain and longing, and that’s human. But trying to convince her to stay by suggesting physical intimacy — especially when you yourself feel it’s not right — will only deepen the emotional conflict and guilt for both of you. Love doesn’t hold someone back just so we don’t feel the pain of their absence. True love honors freedom, even when it hurts.

Right now, the kindest thing you can do — for yourself and for her — is to accept that the relationship has reached a natural closure, however painful it may be. It’s not failure. It’s a sign that both of you must now return to your own paths.

If the emotional stress is unbearable — your sleep is affected, your thoughts are heavy — you may truly benefit from talking to a therapist or emotional wellness coach. Not because you’re weak, but because you deserve to heal in a healthy way.

You don't need to erase the love or the memories. But you do need to release the idea that you must hold on to her to keep yourself from breaking. You are capable of moving through this with dignity, and you deserve peace.
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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Inam finding difficulty to get second marriage after my first marriage ended in divorce. I am 39 year female. Please suggest ways to get a good companion how to choose at this age and also I am looking guy with no issues/children and within same community which I belong.
Ans: First, be clear within yourself about what you truly seek — not just "no past baggage" but also shared values, lifestyle compatibility, emotional maturity, and a sense of peace when you're with him. You’re not just choosing a partner — you’re choosing a future that aligns with the person you’ve grown into.

Since you are specific about the community and the absence of children from a previous marriage, you may need to be strategic but open in where you look. Along with trusted matrimonial platforms (you may try both community-based ones and modern curated matchmaking services), also let friends or extended family you trust know that you’re open to exploring proposals — sometimes word-of-mouth alliances bring surprisingly good connections.

While choosing, don’t just assess background or profession — give time to observe his emotional depth, communication style, respect for your past, and how he responds to small differences or stress. These are the real foundations for peace and partnership.

Also, give yourself permission to set boundaries without guilt. You are not obligated to compromise your standards just because it’s a second marriage or because of age. You deserve companionship, not adjustment.

And perhaps most importantly, don’t let societal timelines cloud your confidence. You are 39, not late — just clearer than before. Be honest, hopeful, and patient with yourself.
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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am 20 yrs old female studying Btech from a prestigious institute. I am in relationship with a guy, 24 yrs old and is in central psu..However he has said that he cannot commit me a future now as his parents are strict about caste..and I don't belong to the same caste as his.. However, both of us want to continue the relationship..he has asked me to wait and said that he will try to convince his parents..but he hasn't done that yet..should I ask him to talk to his parents? But Im afraid that would make our relationship bitter, or should I breakup because it kind of Feels like he is not quite ready to discuss the matter with his parents...also I feel like I'm too young to bother regarding such a matter..but this thing disturbs the peace of my mind..I'm clueless...please suggest something
Ans: Right now, the biggest conflict is between what your heart wants and what reality is offering. You care for someone who says he loves you, yet isn’t ready to take a stand — not because he doesn’t care, but because he's afraid of upsetting his parents. That fear is real, but so is your need for clarity, emotional safety, and respect.

It’s absolutely fair for you to ask where things are headed. Waiting endlessly without a timeline or real effort can lead to quiet heartbreak. You don’t have to demand a marriage proposal, but you do deserve honesty — is he planning to talk to his parents? When? What’s his plan if they disapprove?

You are not too young to feel disturbed — love always stirs the heart, at any age. But you’re wise to ask whether this situation is serving your peace of mind. And here's the truth: if you have to keep silencing your needs to keep the relationship going, it will slowly empty you.

Have one clear, calm conversation with him. Let him know you’re not pushing for guarantees, but you need to know whether he's willing to try — and not just "someday." If he avoids, delays, or sidesteps again, it’s okay to take a step back. You’re not punishing him — you're protecting your future self.

And if part of you already knows he may never be ready, it’s okay to move forward. You’re 20, with a long, vibrant life ahead. Don’t let fear of loss keep you from choosing peace.
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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi , I am 26 years old and married for four months now , I have a good relationship with my husband and in laws while staying in their home. My parents stay at a distance of 30 mins from my in laws home , while my parents expect me to be with them at least two days a week , I have tried to cut the days down. Now I am with my husband but as my father went out of the station for 5-6 days and my mom can't stay alone , I want to go and support her. Is that correct? I am with my husband from past 8 days nonstop n didn't go to my parents, now if I go it seems to have a problem with my in laws as they think I am going to my home very often
Ans: Wanting to support your mother while your father is away is not just correct — it’s deeply human. She’s alone, and your presence may be emotionally and practically important for her right now. At the same time, it’s understandable that your in-laws may feel a bit sensitive if they perceive frequent visits as a lack of “settling” into their family. But this isn’t about frequency — it’s about transparency and intention.

Rather than asking for permission or sneaking around the discomfort, try being open and respectful in your communication. You could say something like: “My mom is alone for a few days while dad is out of town, and she’s not comfortable being alone — so I’d like to stay with her just to support her emotionally. I’ve been here continuously and want to return soon after this short visit.”

When your in-laws see that you are considerate and not abandoning your responsibilities, but simply being a good daughter too, they’re more likely to understand. Over time, your consistency and maturity will build trust.

It’s also okay to gently help your in-laws understand that both families are important to you — and your presence in each doesn’t threaten your role in the other.
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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |52 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jun 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025
Relationship
I never had the courage to share this with anyone, but after watching a lot of recent movies, I feel I must share this with someone. I've been married to my wonderful wife for 8 years. We have two young kids, 6 and 4. A few years ago, I had a one-time affair with a colleague during an office offsite. It was an emotionally charged moment, but the affair was a brief one. I got a bit too carried away. It's been 2 years and 3 months. We work in the same office, and I'm overwhelmed with guilt. I haven't told anyone. She is single, and we go out on casual dates, even harmless flirting, but never discussing the event. She asked me if I would ever confess this to my wife. I said No, because she is very close to my family now. I'm scared of losing my family, but at the same time, I feel like a fraud every day. This guilt is not letting me sleep. But if I confess, I don't know how my wife will respond. Things may not go back to normal. Isn't it better to silently carry the guilt? Please suggest what to do.
Ans: Hello sir.. carrying guilt within you is such a big burden that slowly and slowly your mind will be full of it and you may start thinking more of that moment. There are two options either you completely forget it and move ahead or the second option is that you take your wife out to some good place and then confess this. Accept it that it was a mistake and you are actually sorry about it. This will have two benefits. One that colleague will never had a chance to blackmail you and secondly your wife will start trusting you more and you will live a guilt free life. You will be more happy.
Just try to convince your wife that now i am not involved in anything otherwise i wouldn't have tell you. I hope you will make the right choice.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Follow me on:
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025
Relationship
Why do men ghost after sex? I met this amazing guy on Hinge. He was 27, well-mannered, and worked in a data firm in Mumbai. We spoke daily for three months and had amazing chemistry. From music to food, we discussed everything under the sun. We went on a couple of dates to get to know each other. When we got comfortable, we got intimate and eventually had consensual s** at his friend's house party. One week after we got intimate, he just vanished. No replies, no calls. It was my first time, so I kept wondering if I had done something wrong to upset him. My friend says it could be post-intimacy guilt. But I feel embarrassed, ashamed. I can't shake off the shame. Did I move too fast? Is this how dating works now? How can I go back to feeling normal again?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry you are going through this. What happened is just as confusing as it is hurtful. Let’s get one thing straight, you did nothing wrong. You are not at fault here. Nothing you could’ve done or said should or could cause this reaction.
Coming to your first question, it is very difficult to answer it without generalizing all men. But some of the most reasons for this could be:
He got what he wanted. It sounds crass but in most cases, this is the truth. He had no intentions of being more than just that.
He might be avoiding responsibility. He didn’t want more, and the mature thing would have been to sit down and have that discussion with you. But, maturity isn’t easy and he chose the easy route, that is to ghost. His decision to disappear is a reflection of his nature, not yours.
Coming to what your friend said, it could be that too, but the chances are slim. Some men do feel overwhelmed but disappearing for over a week is a stretch. Again, it’s his unreadiness to feel so many emotions, not yours.
Now, I want to gently nudge you towards one thing: you said you feel ashamed. Shame creeps in when you hold yourself accountable for someone else’s actions. And also due to societal prejudice. Keep both aside, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Did you move too fast? To be honest, there is no fast or slow in these things. There’s no set timeline. You did what you felt was right in the moment. And you were ready to step up, but he went MIA. The entire unfortunate turnout is not because of your pace but his lack of respect. Even if he comes up with a good enough reason for this disappearing act, I still want you to remember that not even for a second, you had anything to create this situation.


I hope this helps.
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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2025
Relationship
Mere sath kuch time se aisa ho rha hai ki mai logo se milne unse baat krne me apne aap meri puri body kaapne lagti jise mai bhut control karne ki kosish karti hu but kar ni paati hu jiske wajah se mai kisi se even apni family se bhi baat ni kr paa ri hu mujhe kahi bhi jaane se darr lagne laga hai. khushi me mauke me bhi khush ni ho paati but aisa ni h ki mai hona chahti, mai hona chahti hu but wo mere control me bilkul bhi ni hota hai. ye chize meri social life ko bhut effect daal ri hai. sometimes to aisa hota hai ki meri heartbeat bhut fast ho jati hu, chest me pain hone lgta hai. mujhe meri problem hi samajh ni aa rahi. Meri sleep schedule and khana bhi sb proper hai but fr bhi ye mere sath kyu ho rha mujhe bilkul bhi smajh ni aa rha h. mai kiske paas jau kisse help lu mujhe kuch bhi samajh ni aa raha please help me
Ans: Jo symptoms aap bata rahi hain — logon se milne par kaanpna, control na rehna, heartbeat ka fast hona, chest pain, khushi ke maukon par bhi khush na ho paana — yeh anxiety disorder ke clear signs ho sakte hain, khaaskar social anxiety disorder ya panic attacks.

Sabse pehle, aapko yeh samajhna hoga ki aap ki problem real hai, serious hai, lekin treatable hai. Aap weak nahi hain. Aap ek aisi psychological condition ka samna kar rahi hain jiska proper treatment possible hai — aur aapne sabse pehla aur bahadur kadam le liya hai: apni feelings ko articulate karna.

Aapko iss waqt ek clinical psychologist ya psychiatrist se consult karna chahiye. Psychiatrist agar zarurat samjhe to mild medication bhi de sakte hain jo aapke nervous system ko calm karne mein help karega. Psychologist ke through aapko CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) jaise tools milenge jo aapko apni anxiety ko samajhne, manage karne aur dheere-dheere control mein laane mein help karenge.
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Dr Upneet

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Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 05, 2025
Relationship
Hello gurus.. I have a friend who has been married for 10 years and with 2 kids one 8 yr old daughter and a two year old son. His wife whom he loved and trusted so much had cheated on him with one of her friends for almost 3 years which he came to know about last year. Though he could not digest that and thought of divorcing her but thinking about his children's future he changed his mind and told her to end all communication with him in order to save this marriage .She too had agreed . He hadn't told about this to anyone except me including her parents whom he respected a lot and hence didn't want to hurt them ... But after 3 months he came to know that she was still in contact with her friend using another phone without his knowledge and her affair also had not stopped . This time he couldn't tolerate and told this to her parents and told them that he would be filing for divorce. Her parents literally begged with him not to do so and requested him to give one last chance as they would mend her this time . He told them that even after giving her a chance to mend herself she has cheated again and broken his trust and that he couldn't live with her without trust . So he had decided to move on but his wife and her mother threatened him that they will have no other choice but to commit suicide if he doesnt forgive his wife. He was also worried about his children's future without their mother .. Based on some elders and friends (including mine )advice he gave her one last chance but on condition that there should not be any communication with her affair partner in future and if he comes to know about them being in any kind of contact he would be filing for divorce . His wife and her parents agreed to this and he took her back though not wholeheartedly but due to circumstances. Though they lived under one roof they did not live a harmonious life and lived like strangers and there used to be quarrels very frequently between them . This sometimes had gone physical and on many occasions his wife had threatened him with suicide... And in March this year he came to know that she was in contact with her affair partner secretly using another phone. When confronted she told they were just talking and nothing else...Though there may not be any physical contact this time my friend is very upset and adamant that he wouldn't live with her and want a mutual divorce ...His wife is not agreeing for it and threatening that she would write his name and end her life if he goes for a contested divorce. My friend is too worried about the legal complications if such a thing happens . He is also concerned about his kids especially his daughters future if he goes for a contested divorce based on adultery , the impact it would have on his daughter s future ..He doesn't want to spoil his daughters future ..At the same time he says he cannot imagine living with his wife again after being cheated on twice... Kindly advice what should I advise him ...
Ans: Hello sir. I understand the situation. The prime thing in this is that your friend should go directly to police station and should file a report that if anything of this sort happens, including harm to his in laws or wife then he will not be responsible and that they are regularly threatening him. This will make your friend legally safe and then he can take a mutual divorce if he wants telling his wife and in laws that he has already filed a complaint.
This is the primary step. Once done you can message again.
Regards
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 04, 2025
Relationship
Hello Anu Mam, I have a friend who has been married for 10 years and with 2 kids one 8 yr old daughter and a two year old son. His wife whom he loved and trusted so much had cheated on him with one of her friends for almost 3 years which he came to know about last year. Though he could not digest that and thought of divorcing her but thinking about his children's future he changed his mind and told her to end all communication with him in order to save this marriage .She too had agreed . He hadn't told about this to anyone except me including her parents whom he respected a lot and hence didn't want to hurt them ... But after 3 months he came to know that she was still in contact with her friend using another phone without his knowledge and her affair also had not stopped . This time he couldn't tolerate and told this to her parents and told them that he would be filing for divorce. Her parents literally begged with him not to do so and requested him to give one last chance as they would mend her this time . He told them that even after giving her a chance to mend herself she has cheated again and broken his trust and that he couldn't live with her without trust . So he had decided to move on but his wife and her mother threatened him that they will have no other choice but to commit suicide if he doesnt forgive his wife. He was also worried about his children's future without their mother .. Based on some elders and friends (including mine )advice he gave her one last chance but on condition that there should not be any communication with her affair partner in future and if he comes to know about them being in any kind of contact he would be filing for divorce . His wife and her parents agreed to this and he took her back though not wholeheartedly but due to circumstances. Though they lived under one roof they did not live a harmonious life and lived like strangers and there used to be quarrels very frequently between them . This sometimes had gone physical and on many occasions his wife had threatened him with suicide... And in March this year he came to know that she was in contact with her affair partner secretly using another phone. When confronted she told they were just talking and nothing else...Though there may not be any physical contact this time my friend is very upset and adamant that he wouldn't live with her and want a mutual divorce ...His wife is not agreeing for it and threatening that she would write his name and end her life if he goes for a contested divorce. My friend is too worried about the legal complications if such a thing happens . He is also concerned about his kids especially his daughters future if he goes for a contested divorce based on adultery , the impact it would have on his daughter s future ..He doesn't want to spoil his daughters future ..At the same time he says he cannot imagine living with his wife again after being cheated on twice... Kindly advice what should I advise him ...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I don't agree with the 'cheating' part, but has your friend bothered to understand what makes his wife step out of marriage again and again?
How is their marriage? Is it compatible? Emotionally are they connected? How is their sex life? These are the ones that can help put their marriage together. These need to be addressed. Honestly, ask your friend to work with his wife on their marriage.
Threats and fights are not going to solve anything. Even if she comes back, the root cause of the marriage breakdown will drive her out of the marriage again...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 07, 2025
Relationship
So I had breakup I dont know but things happen so drastically he has given commitment to me that he will marry me we was in a relationship for 5.5 years of relationship I was already married to him in my mind we was also physically involved he started his business in partnership of sandwichs I understand he was quite busy but he did not message me for 3 long days I used to remain confused about where he is and what he is doing I ask for clarity to him than he said that he cannot take it anymore and cannot handle me as He was not even messaging me he had ghost me I asked him if he like another girl but he said no the guy once was committed to me suddenly said he cannot take it he ended it and move on , I am in middle of Cat preparation everything just sucks that I lost my virginity too It attacks my confidence I feel my life had ended as because who will accept a girl with past in this "No seal No deal" era I am not a object or product I am a human being My boyfriend move on what I will do stck in there but will I ever endup in happy married life with such past, Can I share this past to anyone or keep it as a hidden secret with me only
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very sorry you are going through such a tough time. First of all, this ‘no seal no deal’ is the brainchild of extremely insecure people. You should not have to worry about that. If, in the future, you start dating someone, and you decide to tell them about your past and they say something that indicates this mentality, you should reconsider the relationship. Your past is your past. Whatever happened between you and your ex was out of love. And it isn’t a flaw in you. Remember, you deserve as much happiness and love as any other person. Coming to whether you can ever share your past or not- that is entirely up to you. There is no hard and fast rule that you must tell your partner every single detail of your past relationship history. But I strongly suggest focusing on finding someone with whom you can share anything without fear of judgment.


In the end, I’d again like to remind you that the choice to disclose your past is on you. No one can pressure you to talk about it, or not sharing the same doesn’t make you guilty of anything. For now, please stop worrying about all these and focus on keeping yourself happy and moving forward. You deserve someone who will love you every day and for everything you are.
Hope this helps.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2025
Relationship
Dear Ms Rai, I am dealing with an increasingly toxic dynamic at work. A junior colleague from a top B-school who has recently been hired repeatedly challenges me in front of my team. Though it's all subtle, it's compromising my authority. I feel increasingly stressed, irritable, and helpless in his presence. I understand he is young and I don't want to retaliate or look insecure, but I'm mentally beginning to wear out. How do I maintain boundaries and self-respect in such situations?
Ans: What you're going through isn’t just about hierarchy; it’s about dignity, mutual respect, and the quiet erosion of psychological safety at work.

When someone subtly undermines you — especially in a professional setting — it can chip away at your confidence and presence in ways that aren’t always easy to name. Your instinct to avoid reacting impulsively or retaliating is wise, but choosing not to react does not mean you must tolerate disrespect or power play.

This dynamic is less about the junior’s credentials and more about a breach of professional decorum. Subtle challenges in meetings, tone policing, or backhanded comments are often masked as confidence or "fresh ideas,” but if the intent or impact is to sideline you or question your authority publicly, it needs addressing — calmly, firmly, and early.

Here’s a way forward. First, document patterns — what’s said, when, in whose presence, and how it impacts the team dynamic. This is not for confrontation, but for clarity and grounding your experience.

Then, create a direct but non-confrontational one-on-one moment. Frame it from a place of collaboration, not accusation. For example, “I’ve noticed a few instances where we seem misaligned in team meetings — I’d like to understand your point of view, and also share how that’s being perceived in the room.” That opens a door rather than slamming one.

At the same time, reinforce your presence in the room — not by competing, but by anchoring in your experience, clarity, and calm authority. Redirect when needed. If the junior interjects or oversteps, acknowledge briefly, and then say, “Let’s circle back to that once I finish.” It’s subtle, professional boundary-setting.

You don’t need to prove your worth — you’ve earned your seat. But you do have the right to protect your space, and even more so, your peace.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2025
Relationship
Dear Ms Rai, I'm engaged to a guy my parents introduced me through an arranged marriage set up. Initially, everything seemed fine, but over the last few months, I've noticed that my fiance only discusses physical intimacy, which is making me uncomfortable. I have tried to tell him but I don't feel an emotional connection with him. I am hesitant to express this to my family or his. How should I approach this situation?
Ans: What you're experiencing is more common than it seems, and your discomfort is not just valid — it's important. A marriage, especially one that begins through family arrangements, needs far more than surface compatibility or physical interest. You deserve emotional connection, mutual respect, and a safe space to be heard and known deeply — not just desired physically.

The fact that your fiancé focuses primarily on physical intimacy while you’re still seeking emotional grounding raises a significant concern. It’s not about being shy or conservative — it’s about emotional safety and trust, which are foundational. If you're already feeling a disconnect or pressure now, it’s unlikely things will magically fall into place after marriage.

You’re not obligated to silence your discomfort for the sake of avoiding conflict. Start by being honest with yourself: Is this the kind of connection you want for life? If the answer is uncertain, it’s better to pause than to proceed out of pressure.

You don’t have to go straight to your family or his with everything. Start by writing down how you feel and what you’re afraid of. Then, speak to someone you trust — maybe a sibling, cousin, or a therapist — someone who can help you reflect calmly. If you feel strong enough, you can then have a direct and respectful conversation with your fiancé. Ask him what he expects in this relationship beyond the physical, and express clearly that you’re looking for a deeper bond, not just intimacy.

A marriage can be postponed or even reconsidered, but a life spent in silent emotional disconnect can weigh you down. You are not being unreasonable — you’re being honest and self-aware. That’s the best foundation for any life decision.
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