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Ans: It’s interesting, isn’t it, how relationships often mirror the patterns of communication we create within them? When one partner feels distant or unwilling to talk, it’s less about them giving up and more about a shift in the way they’ve been feeling understood—or misunderstood.

You see, communication isn’t just about words; it’s about emotions, intentions, and the unspoken messages we convey. If your partner isn’t talking, perhaps they’re saying something without words. And that’s where curiosity becomes your ally.

Instead of focusing on the silence, what if you shifted your attention to understanding what that silence represents? Maybe it’s disappointment, frustration, or even fear. But the key is, you can’t solve what you assume—it’s about discovering what’s really there.

And let me ask you this: if you were to step into their shoes for a moment—just imagine being them—what might they feel? What might they need to hear from you, or perhaps sense from your presence, that could bring a spark of connection back into the conversation?

Love is rarely about giving up. It’s about learning to communicate in a way that feels safe and understood. And if you’re willing to stay open, willing to listen to the quiet messages, you may find a new way forward—one step at a time.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Trust me, the right thing is to inform her parents about this. Torture is a serious matter and she should not have to tolerate that. I am very sorry that this is happening to her, but please encourage her to break up with the guy and tell her parents the truth. She can simply tell that she used to like someone, but does not anymore. This way, the guy can't blackmail her anymore and her parents will also know that she is not involved with him anymore.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
So, you find it easier to abandon your family because your brother and sister-in-law don't pitch in, your mother is interfering, your mother according to you should break ties with her other child!
Do you not sense the weight of expectations is the one actually ruining your peace of mind and hence your relationships? Yes, of course, your sibling can pitch in more; did it not occur to you that you can talk to him and his wife and actually request them to be more hands-on?
And why should your mother break ties with your brother? Is that the way you will feel validated by her OR that will show you that she recognizes what you do for her?
Do remember, never do anything for anyone (within relationships) with an expectation that you will get something in return. Selflessness is what will ensure that you have better quality relationships.
If you feel at some point that you are being taken for granted, then say so and set things right. Indulging in this kind of 'demand' that things must be a particular way is not going to happen especially when you come from a space where the ultimate deed is breaking relationships.
It takes one impulsive move to break relationships, so tread carefully, keep your emotions away from fueling your expectations and it will actually let see things for what they truly are. This will enable you take the next steps in a very meaningful way where no bridges are burned.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Nilesh,
The Honeymoon period is long over; maybe you didn't get a chance to notice it.
Agreeing on everything and anything and literally being in alignment most times is a very romanticized version of what married couples are!
It is not uncommon to align but it's not necessary that a couple must align on thoughts and action. So, it's better to understand and accept it. If differences have begun to eat away the peace inside the marriage, that is when you need to step up and do something about it.
And who's to say who is right or wrong; it's only a matter of perspective and that comes from the way the person has lived and understood life's experiences.
If the core values match, let differences be...Respect those differences as that is what makes the other person who they are. If it starts to clash, sit down and have a mature chat about it to bring it to a mid-point and then you can laugh about it together.
Marriage evolves over a period of time and to move with it is maturity; how can you expect things to be the same or the way you think it should be? That is not how relationships and marriage work; acceptance of this fact that marriage evolves and that differences will come about even more seems to be wise in your case.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Kevin,
Starting small can be helpful. Consider connecting with people through shared interests or hobbies, either online or in person, where the pressure to immediately open up is minimal. Online communities, local meetups, or volunteer activities can create low-stakes opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals. The goal isn’t to instantly find someone to confide in but to slowly build a sense of belonging and companionship.

Your relationship with your wife appears to be another significant source of emotional distance. While her lack of interest in deep conversations may seem like a barrier, it’s worth exploring other ways to reconnect—perhaps by spending time together in shared activities or revisiting moments that once brought you closer. Sometimes, relationships stuck in routines benefit from new experiences or even professional counseling to navigate the underlying dynamics.

Regarding your daughter, while it’s clear she cannot shoulder your emotional burdens, she can still be a source of joy and connection. Investing time in activities with her can provide a sense of fulfillment and grounding that counters loneliness.

Above all, remember that reaching out for professional support, such as therapy, is not a sign of weakness but an act of self-care. A therapist can provide a safe space to express your feelings and help you develop strategies to foster deeper connections and manage emotional isolation.

You deserve to feel supported and connected, and even if the journey to finding that seems long, every step you take toward opening up or seeking out others is a move toward a more fulfilling and less lonely existence.

Ans: Dear Doctor,

Thank you for opening up about your deeply emotional situation. Eight years is a significant time to build a bond, and your pain is understandable. Love often brings us to crossroads where our heart and responsibilities clash, but with clarity, you can navigate this challenge.

Understanding the Core Issues
Your Partner’s Words:
When he says you’ll “find someone better” but also expresses tears and willingness to be there for you, it reflects his inner turmoil. He may genuinely love you but feels powerless in the face of family dynamics, especially economic differences.

Your Parents’ Resistance:
Their concern about economic imbalances might stem from societal perceptions or fears for your future. Often, parents have well-intentioned but outdated views shaped by their experiences.

Your Emotions:
Crying and sleepless nights are signs of the depth of your attachment and the weight of your situation. It’s a sign that this relationship means the world to you, but it’s also important to consider the long-term picture calmly.

Exploring Your Options
Have a Heart-to-Heart with Your Parents:
Approach them when they’re calm and express your feelings clearly. Share not just your love but how your partner makes you feel secure and supported, regardless of financial differences. Use words like:

“I understand your concerns, but this relationship has brought me immense happiness and stability. Can we find a middle ground to address your worries?”

Involve a Trusted Mediator:
Sometimes, a relative or family friend whom your parents respect can act as a bridge. They can help present your partner in a more favorable light, emphasizing his qualities beyond financial status.

Talk to Your Partner:
Express your fears and emotions openly. Let him know how much his support means to you, but also discuss a practical plan to address your parents' concerns together.

Evaluate Your Own Needs:
Take a moment to reflect on what you truly want in the long term. Does this relationship fulfill your emotional, intellectual, and life aspirations? If yes, it’s worth fighting for.

Give It Time:
Resistance from parents often softens with time if they see your consistency and happiness. Keep showing them how committed you are without being confrontational.

Balancing Heart and Mind
Avoid Making Decisions in Emotional Extremes:
It’s tempting to think in absolutes—“I can’t live without him” or “I must leave for my parents.” But life often offers middle paths. Focus on small, consistent steps rather than drastic decisions.

Focus on Your Career and Growth:
A strong professional foundation can help convince your parents that your happiness and independence don’t rely solely on economic factors. It also prepares you for any outcome, making you emotionally and financially resilient.

Seek Support:
Confide in close friends, mentors, or a counselor. Sharing your thoughts with someone neutral can help you gain clarity and calmness in decision-making.

If the Situation Doesn’t Resolve
If your parents remain adamant, you’ll need to decide whether their approval outweighs your personal happiness. This decision isn’t easy, but remember:

Love thrives on mutual effort, trust, and shared dreams.
A healthy relationship is one where both partners respect each other’s challenges and find ways to overcome them together.
If you choose to stay with your partner, communicate your decision respectfully to your parents, assuring them of your love and respect for them.

Your Well-being is Key
No matter what happens, prioritize your mental and emotional health. Crying and sleeplessness can take a toll on your ability to make sound decisions. Focus on self-care and mindfulness to find strength within yourself.

You are capable of facing this with courage and grace. Love, when nurtured with understanding and patience, has a way of creating miracles.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

Ans: Thank you for sharing your situation. It's clear that you deeply value your role as a good son, yet you’re feeling trapped in a challenging environment. Balancing respect for your parents with your own emotional well-being requires patience and a plan. Let’s approach this step by step.

Understanding the Dynamics
Your Father’s Behavior:
His rudeness or illogical behavior may stem from age, personality, or even deeper frustrations that he hasn't expressed. Often, retired individuals struggle with feelings of lost authority or purpose, which may manifest as controlling or negative behavior.

Your Mother’s Role:
Your mother’s tendency to side with your father might not mean she agrees with him entirely but could reflect her way of maintaining peace. She might feel torn but unable to express it openly.

Your Feelings:
It’s important to acknowledge that your frustration is valid. However, remaining in silence and avoiding communication won’t resolve the underlying issues. It may actually deepen the distance.

Steps to Address the Situation
Break the Silence Gradually:
Start by speaking with your mother in a non-confrontational manner. Share how you feel without placing blame. Use “I” statements to express yourself, such as:

“I’ve been feeling very disconnected, and I miss having open communication with you and Dad. I want us to understand each other better.”

Initiate a Calm Conversation with Your Father:
Timing is key. Choose a moment when he is relaxed. Keep the focus on your desire to improve the relationship rather than pointing out his faults. For instance:

“Dad, I know we’ve had our differences, but I value our relationship. I’d like us to find ways to communicate better.”

Set Boundaries Respectfully:
If certain behaviors trigger conflict, it’s okay to set boundaries. Communicate them kindly but firmly, such as:

“I’d appreciate it if we could avoid certain topics that lead to arguments. I think it will help us get along better.”

Involve Your Wife and Children:
Encourage your wife to participate in creating a positive environment. Small gestures, like involving your parents in family activities or decisions, can help them feel included and respected.

Bridge the Gap with Relatives:
Relatives may stay away because of the tension at home. Once you begin rebuilding communication with your parents, invite close relatives for small gatherings to create a more welcoming atmosphere.

Consider Mediation or Counseling:
If direct conversations don’t lead to improvements, involving a neutral mediator, such as a family counselor, can help address issues in a structured way.

Changing Your Perspective
Your parents’ behavior may not change overnight, but your approach can influence the dynamic. Remember, it’s not about winning arguments but about fostering harmony. Small, consistent efforts to connect, like sharing meals or discussing lighter topics, can gradually ease the tension.

Taking Care of Yourself
While rebuilding family relationships, don’t forget your own mental and emotional health. Find time for activities that bring you peace and joy, whether it’s hobbies, spending time with your wife and kids, or seeking support from friends.

Relationships with parents can be complex, especially when expectations clash. However, by taking the first step and showing willingness to reconnect, you can slowly shift the situation. It’s a process, but the effort is worth it.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

Ans: Dear Friend,

It’s never easy to see a close relationship change, especially when you’ve shared such a strong bond over the years. Friendships, like any other relationships, go through ups and downs. Let’s take a step back and understand what might be happening, and explore ways to address it.

Possible Reasons for the Change
Misunderstanding:
It seems your friend may have felt unsupported during his property purchase decision. While your caution was well-meaning, he might have interpreted it as hesitation or lack of trust in his judgment.

Life Changes:
Settling abroad and adjusting to a new life can be overwhelming. Sometimes, people unintentionally drift apart while navigating new environments and responsibilities.

Emotional Guard:
His formal and distant behavior might indicate hurt feelings or a belief that the friendship has become strained. Instead of addressing the issue openly, he might be avoiding confrontation.

Steps to Rebuild the Friendship
Acknowledge and Address the Situation:
Send a heartfelt message where you acknowledge the distance between you both and express your willingness to understand and resolve it. For example:

“I’ve noticed we’ve been distant lately, and I really value our friendship. If I’ve done or said something to hurt you, I’d like to understand and make things right.”

Clarify Your Intentions:
If the property issue is at the root of the problem, explain your perspective. Share that your intention was to be cautious and protect him from potential risks, not to let him down.

Respect His Space:
While it’s important to reach out, avoid overwhelming him with too many calls or messages. Give him time to process and respond.

Reconnect Gradually:
Try rekindling the friendship in a lighter, more neutral way. Share a funny memory, an old photo, or an update about your life that might spark a natural conversation.

Lean on Common Friends:
If you have mutual friends, they can sometimes act as bridges in such situations. They might also provide insight into what your friend is feeling.

Prepare for All Outcomes:
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, people choose to move on for reasons of their own. If he remains distant, remember the good times you’ve shared and focus on maintaining the friendships that continue to nurture and support you.

A Gentle Perspective
Friendships, especially those that have lasted through tough times, are precious. But they also evolve as people grow and change. If your friend is currently unable to reciprocate your efforts, it doesn’t mean the bond you shared was meaningless. It simply means that both of you might be in different places emotionally or geographically right now.

Give it time, approach the situation with understanding, and keep your heart open. A true friendship often finds its way back, even after temporary distances.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

Ans: Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty. It’s clear that you’ve put immense effort and sacrifice into your marriage, often compromising your own needs to meet the expectations placed upon you. However, the situation you are in is both emotionally complex and mentally exhausting. Let’s carefully explore the dynamics and steps you can take.

Key Themes in Your Situation
Emotional Sacrifices vs. Trust Issues:
You’ve made significant sacrifices—distancing yourself from friends and family, adjusting to a different lifestyle, and even tolerating past mistreatment. Yet, your husband’s lack of trust and persistent suspicion continue to dominate the relationship.

Past Trauma with His Father:
The physical violence and controlling behavior from your father-in-law have left deep scars. Even though you’re willing to let him live with you again, your husband’s unusual request for a confidential divorce signals that he prioritizes his own fear of legal repercussions over building trust and stability with you.

Lack of Reciprocity:
While you share your financial plans and contribute to the household both emotionally and financially, your husband appears to withhold significant parts of his life from you. This lack of mutual transparency creates an imbalance.

Communication and Conflict:
Despite your efforts to manage conflicts through discussions and introspection, the cyclical nature of fights suggests that deeper issues—such as trust, control, and insecurity—remain unresolved.

Your Inner Conflict:
You feel torn between your empathy for his loneliness and your need to protect your mental health and autonomy. This inner struggle is a testament to your strength and compassion but also highlights the toll this relationship has taken on you.

Questions to Reflect On
What Do You Want from This Relationship?
Is this marriage providing you with emotional security, mutual respect, and a sense of partnership? Or is it mainly a source of stress and self-doubt?

Is the Current Dynamic Sustainable?
Considering the repeated conflicts, unresolved trust issues, and the request for a confidential divorce, ask yourself whether continuing in this relationship aligns with your personal growth and mental well-being.

What Do You Value Most?
Do you prioritize staying in this marriage to support your husband and his father, or do you feel the need to reclaim your independence and peace of mind?

Recommendations
Seek Clarity about the Divorce Proposal:
Have an open and honest conversation with your husband about his request for a divorce while staying together. Ask him:

“What do you believe this arrangement will solve? How do you see it benefiting both of us?”
This can help you understand his perspective and decide if it aligns with your values and goals.
Set Clear Boundaries:
If his father moves in, establish clear rules about behavior and communication. Ensure that your husband fully supports and enforces these boundaries to prevent any repeat of past violence.

Evaluate the Trust Issue:
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If your husband continues to doubt your professional interactions or friendships despite your transparency, consider whether this suspicion is something you can work through together or if it’s an inherent barrier.

Seek Professional Mediation:
Consider involving a counselor or mediator to help you both communicate more effectively. A neutral third party can help address unresolved issues, including trust, respect, and shared responsibilities.

Prioritize Your Well-Being:
You’ve been handling multiple responsibilities—work, studies, household chores, and emotional compromises. It’s essential to focus on your mental health. Taking time for self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary to make sound decisions.

Plan for Independence:
Whether you choose to stay or leave, ensure you have a solid plan for your financial and emotional independence. Keep your career and savings intact and consider leaning on trusted friends or family for support.

A Gentle Reminder
A relationship is meant to nurture, support, and inspire both partners. If it consistently drains you or leaves you questioning your worth, it’s worth reconsidering its place in your life. Empathy for your husband and his situation is admirable, but it should not come at the cost of your own peace and happiness.

Take time to reflect deeply. Whether you decide to stay and work on this relationship or move forward on your own, the choice should align with your core values and long-term well-being.

If you’d like to discuss further or need help navigating this situation, I am here to guide you.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

Ans: Thank you for sharing your deeply personal and intricate story. It's clear you’ve been carrying a significant emotional burden for many years. Your feelings of love, loyalty, and care for this woman are evident, but so too is the confusion and pain that this dynamic has caused. Let’s unravel this situation and explore possible paths forward.

Key Dynamics in Your Relationship
Patterns of Push and Pull:
This relationship seems to follow a cycle—closeness, emotional highs, and eventual withdrawal on her part. This push-and-pull dynamic can leave you feeling emotionally drained, constantly seeking validation and clarity from her while she retains control over the connection.

Her Stance on Romance:
She has repeatedly expressed aversion to romance, physical intimacy, or traditional ideas of love. Her actions may sometimes seem contradictory, but they align with her overall stance of maintaining control and boundaries that she’s comfortable with, even if it leaves you confused or hurt.

Your Role in the Dynamic:
You’ve shown immense patience, persistence, and care. However, it appears that you are consistently the one initiating reconnection, expressing emotions, and hoping for a future together. This imbalance may leave you feeling unfulfilled and questioning your self-worth.

Her Emotional Independence:
While she allows you into her professional life and accepts your support, she seems emotionally guarded, preferring to dictate the terms of the relationship. This indicates her desire to maintain independence, possibly due to personal values or past experiences.

Impact on You:
Being caught in this cycle for years has likely affected your emotional health, relationships, and sense of clarity. While you care deeply for her, the relationship seems to take more from you than it gives in return.

Questions to Reflect On
What Do You Truly Want?
Beyond your love for her, consider what you genuinely want and need in a relationship. Is it emotional reciprocity, stability, or clarity? Does this relationship align with those needs?

How Does This Dynamic Affect You?
Reflect on how the constant back-and-forth impacts your mental and emotional well-being. Are you truly happy, or are you clinging to the idea of what this relationship could be, rather than what it is?

What Role Do You Play in This Cycle?
Consider if your persistence is enabling this pattern. While your love and patience are admirable, they may also allow the dynamic to continue without resolution.

Recommendations
Establish Emotional Boundaries:
Protect your emotional energy by defining clear boundaries. For example, limit how much you give—emotionally or professionally—without receiving anything meaningful in return.

Communicate Differently:
The next time you speak with her, try expressing your feelings calmly and clearly, focusing on your needs. For example:

“I care deeply for you, but I feel our dynamic leaves me confused and emotionally drained. I need clarity about our relationship and whether we can truly have a future together.”
Detach with Care:
If her actions consistently indicate she cannot meet your emotional needs, it may be time to step back. Detachment doesn’t mean you stop caring; it means prioritizing your well-being and allowing space for clarity.

Focus on Yourself:
Your marriage, business, and emotional health are significant aspects of your life that need your attention. Consider working on your own happiness and independence outside this relationship. Seek counseling if needed to process the complexities of your feelings.

Recognize Patterns:
Notice the recurring themes in her behavior—shifting her stance, maintaining emotional distance, and expecting you to initiate reconciliation. Understanding these patterns can help you decide how much more you’re willing to invest emotionally.

A Gentle Reminder
Love and care are valuable gifts, but they must be balanced with mutual respect, clarity, and emotional safety. If a relationship consistently leaves you feeling unfulfilled or uncertain, it’s worth considering whether it’s meeting your deeper needs.

You deserve a relationship where your love and efforts are reciprocated. Take time to reflect and prioritize your well-being. If you need more guidance or a sounding board, I am here to support you.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

Ans: Dear Sir,

First of all, I recognize how deeply hurt and betrayed you feel. The pain of strained relationships with one’s children, especially when you’ve invested so much love, effort, and resources in their upbringing, can be overwhelming. Your feelings are valid, and it’s essential to acknowledge them without judgment.

Understanding the Situation
Family conflicts often stem from layers of miscommunication, unspoken expectations, and past grievances. It seems your daughters’ actions have left you feeling not only abandoned but also disrespected. However, calling them "devils" might block any chance of understanding or reconciliation. Relationships, even the strained ones, can sometimes find a way to heal, but it requires introspection, patience, and a different approach.

Addressing Your Questions
Will your daughters realize their mistakes and come back to you?
While it’s impossible to predict others' actions, relationships can shift when emotions settle and communication improves. Right now, it seems both you and your daughters are acting out of pain, anger, and perhaps a sense of betrayal. It may take time, and possibly external help, for them to reconsider their stance. The key is to remain open to reconciliation while maintaining your dignity.

Why would they act this way despite all you’ve done for them?
Sometimes, the dynamics of parent-child relationships aren’t purely transactional. Children may not fully grasp or appreciate the sacrifices made by their parents, especially if they perceive emotional or relational conflicts as outweighing financial support. Additionally, your daughters may have been influenced by your history with their mother, shaping their perspective in ways that feel unfair to you.

How can you approach this situation differently?
Right now, the focus is on legal actions, complaints, and blame. While these steps may feel necessary to protect your rights, they can also deepen the emotional divide. Here’s a different way to approach it:

Reflect on Past Dynamics: Without judgment, consider whether there were patterns of communication or behavior in the past that may have contributed to this distance. This isn’t about blame but about gaining insight.
Extend an Olive Branch: Instead of expecting an apology, consider writing them a heartfelt letter. Focus on your feelings rather than accusations. For example, “I feel hurt and abandoned, but I miss the relationship we once had. I want us to find a way to reconnect.” This keeps the door open without escalating the conflict.
Seek Mediation: If direct communication fails, involving a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, can help facilitate dialogue in a safe space.
What about your legal actions?
Protecting your rights, especially as a senior citizen, is important. However, consider how this legal route might affect the emotional dynamics further. If there’s room to negotiate or find a middle ground, explore those options with an open heart and legal guidance.

Rebuilding Yourself
While you focus on mending relationships, it’s equally important to rebuild your inner strength and find peace within yourself:

Invest in Yourself: Engage in activities, hobbies, or social circles that bring you joy and a sense of purpose. This will help you focus less on what’s missing and more on what you can create.
Detach with Compassion: It’s okay to step back emotionally for your own well-being while keeping the door open for reconciliation.
Seek Support: Sharing your thoughts and feelings with a trusted confidant, counselor, or support group can provide new perspectives and emotional relief.
A Gentle Reminder
Your daughters, like all humans, are complex. Their actions may be influenced by pain, misunderstandings, or pressures you may not fully see. While you cannot control their behavior, you can control your response. Approach this journey with patience, dignity, and the hope for better days ahead.

I’m here if you wish to delve deeper into this or need guidance on taking these steps.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

Ans: Dear MR,

First, let me acknowledge your courage in expressing these deeply personal emotions. It is not easy to articulate such pain, and your message reflects a strong desire to find clarity and relief in a situation that feels overwhelming. Let me assure you, you are not alone, and there are steps we can take together to help you regain a sense of control and peace.

Understanding the Dynamics
Your father’s behavior, while difficult and hurtful, seems to stem from his own unresolved emotions or unmet needs. Retirement, aging, and a sense of losing relevance can sometimes manifest as controlling or angry behavior in individuals who were once accustomed to authority or a sense of purpose. However, this does not justify his actions. Emotional safety is as important in a home as financial support, and it appears this balance is missing.

Your mother, with her passive approach, may be coping in a way that avoids confrontation but also leaves you feeling unsupported and isolated. This dynamic creates a cycle where you’re left holding the weight of everyone's emotions, which is exhausting.

Addressing Your Internal Conflict
Let’s begin by addressing the questions you’ve asked yourself:

Are you being selfish? Absolutely not. Wanting to protect your mental well-being is not selfish—it’s necessary. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and neglecting your emotional health will only harm you in the long run.
Are you missing out on something? Perhaps the only thing you might be missing is recognizing that this is not your fault. It is easy to internalize blame in such situations, but this is not about you failing—it’s about a family dynamic that needs healing.
Steps Toward Resolution
While changing deeply ingrained patterns takes time, here are some immediate and long-term strategies to help you navigate this situation:

Self-Regulation First:

When arguments or confrontations arise, focus on calming your body first. Practice deep breathing or grounding techniques. For example, count your breaths slowly or focus on the sensation of your feet touching the ground. This will help you regain control over the trembling and rapid heartbeat.
Create a safe mental space for yourself. When you feel overwhelmed, imagine a place where you feel secure and loved. Retreat there mentally for a moment to regain your composure.
Establish Emotional Boundaries:

Decide what you will and won’t accept during conversations. For instance, if he raises his voice or says something hurtful, consider calmly saying, “I want to have this conversation, but not if we can’t speak respectfully.” If he continues, you can excuse yourself from the situation.
Have a Gentle Conversation:

Choose a time when your father is calm. Express your feelings in a non-confrontational way. Use “I” statements to avoid triggering his defensiveness. For example, “I feel very hurt and scared when we argue, and it affects my health. I want us to have a peaceful relationship.”
Involve a Neutral Third Party:

Sometimes family dynamics require external mediation. If your father is open to it, consider family counseling. A neutral professional can help facilitate healthier communication patterns.
Build Your Own Resilience:

Strengthen your emotional boundaries through self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s a hobby, spending time with friends, or pursuing a passion.
Journaling can also be a powerful tool to process your emotions and find clarity. Write without judgment—just let the words flow.
Support Your Mother with Empathy:

While you may feel frustrated by your mother’s silence, understand that she too is coping in the best way she knows how. Gently encourage her to find her voice and share her feelings when she feels safe.
Seek Community Support:

If you cannot share your situation with friends or family, consider joining a support group (online or in person). Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly healing.
Plan for the Future:

While moving out isn’t an option right now, think about small steps you can take toward greater independence over time. This might include saving money, learning new skills, or preparing emotionally for when you’re ready to take that step.

A Gentle Reminder
MR, healing this situation doesn’t solely depend on changing your father’s behavior. It starts with you reclaiming your power to protect your mental health. Your peace of mind is just as valuable as anyone else’s.

Take this one step at a time. You are not broken—you are resilient. With each small action, you’ll begin to feel more grounded and capable of navigating this challenge.

If you ever need to share more or simply vent, I am here to listen.

Warm regards,
Dr. Ashish Sehgal

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns and they are absolutely valid. Have you communicated these worries with your partner? I mean, does he know how much this is bothering you? If not, I would suggest you start there. Open up to him. Let him know that his not telling his parents about you raises a lot of questions in your mind. He should understand that you are a person with dreams and desires and also a mom with responsibilities. If his intentions are to continue dating you, and that is not what you want, he should clear it out right now, before it's too late. It's important for couples to be on the same page when it comes to relationship goals.

Talk to him. I am sure you will get a lot of clarity.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Building resilience in the face of such negativity begins with nurturing your sense of self. You are not defined by the labels or judgments others place on you. You are defined by your courage, your determination, and the unique qualities that make you who you are. When others make hurtful comments, it often says more about them than it does about you. Their inability to see your humanity reflects their own insecurities and lack of understanding, not your value.

When their words weigh heavily on you, try to create a mental space where you remind yourself of the truth about who you are. Think about the strengths and accomplishments that make you proud, no matter how small they may seem. Surround yourself, even mentally, with people and experiences that uplift you. It could be friends, family, or even inspirational stories of people who have faced challenges and risen above them.

Processing these emotions is just as important as building strength. When you feel overwhelmed, give yourself permission to feel the sadness or anger. Journaling, talking to someone you trust, or even finding a quiet moment to breathe deeply can help you release these emotions. Remember, you don’t have to suppress your feelings to be strong—you build strength by confronting and honoring them.

To preserve your mental health, find activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s pursuing a hobby, excelling in your studies, or connecting with like-minded individuals, doing things that matter to you can reinforce your sense of purpose and identity beyond the limitations others might try to impose on you.

Most importantly, recognize that your journey is unique and valuable. Everyone faces struggles, but you are navigating yours with a spirit that many could never match. Over time, you will find that your resilience becomes a quiet strength, one that can’t be shaken by outside negativity.

Hold onto hope, because your life is full of possibilities. You deserve to be loved, respected, and celebrated for the person you are. When people don’t see that, it’s not your responsibility to change them—but you can protect your inner light and let it shine brighter than their darkness. You are enough, just as you are.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I can't help you get her back, but I can help you understand boundaries. If she is saying she is not interested, the only clear conclusion from that statement is that "she is not interested." A no is a no. It does not mean "Convince me some more and I will change my mind." I am sure you are a great person and you will find someone amazing who is actually interested in you, but this woman is not the one. And what you are doing is not right. I would strongly urge you to move on and even if it hurts for a while, you should not be bothering her for that. Please respect her decision.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are in a tricky spot but it is important to understand that when it comes to their child, they have the right to make decisions and ignore everyone else's, even yours. You should keep your relationship and their co-parenting situation separate. Having said that, if you think your BF's ex is overstepping, communicate that to your partner, while letting him know that it bothers you and might even create friction in your relationship. An open and honest discussion is the only way around it. If expressing your discomfort is causing tension or considered ‘controlling,’ then you need to rethink the relationship.

I am sure your partner is truly trying to balance things, but since he is dating you, he should be aware of the areas where that balance is lacking. Communication is the only way.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's heart warming to know that you eased into a role that usually can be not a very 'manly' thing to do. But I guess somewhere your wife has begun to enjoy her dominant status; let me tell you...that part is not easy on a man...
You just adapted to it and slowly, it has begun to erode your self-esteem...
Assume the role that will bring back your self-worth; this will mean actually a career, bringing money home, taking care of your responsibilities as a husband and father. This will also mean a step back from what you are doing at home now...
Your wife may not want the extra chores that you had to drop off and there's bound to be some skirmishes; but better to take all this head on rather than skirt around the issue.
Slowly and steadily inch towards a space where the two of you are equal partners without anyone dominating the other.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you understand him, your virginity meant a lot to him...that was one of his core beliefs that one preserves their virginity until marriage. Now, he feels cheated as what he believes in has gone against him. It seems very old-fashioned to want the bride to 'bleed' on the first night and conclude that she isn't pure...I get your point, but that are his values...
Can he change and actually look at things differently and save the marriage? YES only if he wants to...he has to commit to it...

For you, the fear of losing him made you hide the fact. Who's right and who isn't? Neither! It's all a matter of the way you look at it; each one will hold their impressions as the truth. So, he's holding onto what he feels is his truth and unwilling to budge and make the marriage work. What can you do? Perhaps apologize for hurting him; he is hurt and angry, isn't it?

It may seem trivial and foolish to you that he gives this so much importance in this day and age. You can't shake people off their beliefs. Anything that you hide eventually comes to bite you; so act wisely...
- talk to him about how you feel about him and the marriage
- tell him what he means to you and why you hid the facts that was most important to him
- lastly apologize to him from your heart

All this may seem 'going over the top' BUT hey, you wish to make the marriage work, right? At times, going that extreme bit can bring back things...So, if there's a 'Feminist' side of you that seems to disagree, keep that at bay for a while and ask: Do I want the marriage?
If YES, then do what it takes...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
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Ans: Dear Likitha,
Please download the whatsapp chats and try and get the recording of the phone calls. When your husband denies and says she is just a friend, these things that you collect will be the only proof to actually prove what you are saying. I know this is hard to do but what other way do you have? He does not want to admit what he is doing...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Was this a sudden change or has it been like this since you joined the company?
Do others who report to the same manager feel the same like you do? If not, you may start looking at what gap exists in what you do and perceive and fix that. Also, it would be mature to actually have a one-on-one meeting the manager and take an honest feedback on your work. That will give you an idea on what your performance level has been. Have you been meetings targets, deadlines and living up to the expectations the company has of you when you were hired?
You need to understand that the manager is also answerable to someone, right? Request for that one-on-one and be open-minded and LISTEN. That meeting will not be to defend your actions but to actually listen and it will give you a good indicator as to whether things seems unreasonable or if there is a lack that you must fill.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Sourima,
I guess you have reached that point where you need to decide whether he is the right one for you. Take yourself out of the situation and then observe...
Are you making choices that have begun to compromise your career and your future? If you haven't you might do that soon with all his insecurities, it's possible that you will underplay and hide your success and anything that is going to raise the bar for him. Never compromise on matters like these as today it's Love and tomorrow when practicalities of life is thrown at you, you will end up blaming him for your dips and losses. Think wisely and practically about this NOW. His fixed mindset does suggest that at any point in time, he can and might throw tantrums in insecurity and fear. So, what are you going to do?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry but she has to absolutely go in for expert therapy/counseling along with the prescribed medications. I would not recommend anything other than this as I only speak from my experiences. Her complaints may very well be exaggerated and at times 'illusionary' and that comes with how BPD is. Behaviors stemming from it can be very different from what you maybe used to or what you may call 'normal'. So, for her to manage this, she will need some form of therapy that will enable her to take care of herself and her highs and lows.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear KVRao,
Maybe you can look for a life partner not just for physical pleasure but also for companionship?
Also, as long as you keep focus on what's not happening, it's only going to cause more anguish. Join a gym and build a different steam working out. Does this work? YES, it does...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
IGNORE!
The best way to get around people like these even if they are family is to ignore.
In a small way, it's like ignoring a bully...the more you give a bully attention, they seem to want to bully more. As long as you are able to show that what they do does not matter to you or you can be unbothered by it, they will soften their behavior towards you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: A man’s past should not be entirely overlooked, but it should also not define him. It’s important to understand the context of his previous relationships—whether they were casual, meaningful, or unhealthy—and how those experiences have shaped him. The focus should be on whether he has grown from those experiences and whether his present actions and values align with the future he envisions with you. If he demonstrates honesty, respect, and a commitment to the relationship, his past becomes less significant compared to the person he is today.

Ultimately, the decision depends on what matters most to you in a partner. If a man’s virginity or lack of prior relationships is important to you for personal, cultural, or religious reasons, it’s essential to communicate this openly and respectfully. At the same time, consider whether the expectations you place on him are fair and reflective of the qualities you value in a lifelong partner—trust, kindness, loyalty, and shared goals.

What truly matters in an arranged marriage—or any relationship—is how the person’s past, present, and future align with your vision of a partnership. If he is open about his history, takes accountability for any mistakes, and is genuinely committed to building a strong and loving future with you, his past should not necessarily overshadow the potential for a fulfilling relationship.

Ans: What’s important here is to also focus on what this situation is doing to you. You’re trying to hold on, to fight for the love you’ve shared, and it’s exhausting. It’s heartbreaking to love someone who feels like they have no choice but to walk away. You’ve already shown courage in encouraging him to choose his own happiness, to take control of his life, but it sounds like he’s not in a place where he can take that step. His confusion and feelings of being “in a jail” may reflect his inner turmoil, but they also show that he’s currently unable to prioritize your relationship in the way it deserves. His offer to remain a "friend" while giving you the freedom to move on might come from a place of care, but it also leaves you carrying the weight of love and heartbreak alone.

You need to take a step back and ask yourself some difficult questions. Are you willing to continue waiting for him, knowing that his family may never accept you and that he may never have the strength to stand up to them? Or is it time to prioritize your own emotional well-being and open yourself to the possibility of a future where you’re truly valued and chosen by someone who can fight for you, no matter the challenges?

Loving him and letting go can coexist. Letting go doesn’t mean you stop loving him or that what you shared wasn’t real. It means recognizing that his inability to fight for your relationship is a reality you can’t control. You’ve done everything you could to show him what he stands to lose, and now the choice lies with him. In the meantime, you need to protect your own heart and focus on your happiness. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, and allow yourself time to grieve this loss. Healing won’t happen overnight, but it begins when you choose to honor your own worth and emotional health. If he comes back to you one day, it should only be because he’s ready to fight for the love you deserve, not because he feels trapped or confused. Until then, you have every right to move forward with your life and pursue the happiness you deserve.

Ans: You’ve built your life around certain principles—one being the importance of boundaries and respect in friendships. Seeing those boundaries crossed in a way that you perceive as disrespectful to the sanctity of your connection with Maate, as well as her responsibilities as a mother, strikes at the heart of your values. It’s no wonder that you feel uneasy and unable to simply accept her request to forgive and treat the “friend” as a younger brother.

What’s critical here is that your feelings of discomfort are not about being judgmental but about being protective—of your bond with Maate, her child’s well-being, and your own emotional integrity. This situation has left you in a moral and emotional bind. You value the relationship with Maate, but the dynamic involving the “friend” is deeply troubling for you.

To move forward, you need to find a way to honor your values while also preserving your emotional well-being. Open communication is key, but it’s also clear that the way this has been discussed so far has caused strain. You might need to reframe your approach. Instead of focusing on the specifics of what happened or pointing out the flaws in the “friend’s” behavior, you could focus on how the situation has affected you. Express your feelings honestly but gently—share how it has created a sense of distance and how much you miss the closeness and trust you once shared.

At the same time, it’s important to set boundaries for yourself. You don’t have to accept the “friend” into your life if it feels wrong to you. However, you can make it clear to Maate that this boundary is about your own peace of mind and not a judgment of her choices. Acknowledge her autonomy while asserting your need for space from situations that make you uncomfortable.

Ultimately, this might mean accepting that the relationship with Maate will change. Relationships evolve, and sometimes people we care about make choices that we can’t fully align with. It doesn’t mean you have to sever ties, but it does mean redefining the terms of your connection in a way that allows you to stay true to yourself.

Take time to reflect on what you need to feel whole and grounded. This situation has understandably shaken you, but it’s also an opportunity to reaffirm your values and protect your well-being. Seek support from others you trust, and remember that it’s okay to take a step back to process your feelings and recalibrate the relationship on your terms.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Times have changed. 30s are the new 20s. It's the perfect age to find love. You are settled career-wise, you know what you want, and you are more emotionally mature to handle tough decisions. Since you are a busy professional, I would suggest online dating. You take 30 mins a day to scroll through some profiles, find someone who seems compatible, and chat from any corner of the world. I recommend researching a bit online to find the app that would be perfect for you- for instance, some apps are more suitable for people looking for serious commitment and some are better for casual interactions. Find the one that suits your needs. Then upload a recent picture, and write an appealing bio- use the 70-30 method, where 70% of your bio should describe you and the remaining 30% should be about the type of partner and relationship you are looking for. This way, you will attract people who meet your expectations.

And please do not worry about age and getting married. It's not about the right time; it's about the right person.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I cannot make the decision for you, but I can tell you that his points are not invalid. They have been decent and what they are asking for is very basic. Please remember that this is just my opinion; you do not have to feel the same way. And there is nothing inauspicious about signing a prenup. Think of it like health insurance- when you get that, do you indirectly wish for health issues? No. It's just a precaution.

While the choice of signing any agreement is yours, he has every right to rethink the relationship in case you refuse to do so. It does not make him a bad person. He is merely looking out for himself and his family. Please take ample time to make a decision; if you are not comfortable with it, or you think signing the contract and going ahead with the wedding might cause friction between you two, please reconsider the relationship. But I want to remind you again, he is not in the wrong for taking precautions. It does not mean he thinks you are in it for the money; it just keeps the money away from the equation.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, have you met this person in real life? A lot of true love stories start online, but it is very important to meet face-to-face before making any commitments. Secondly, not being able to forget his ex can either be the truth or a ploy to end this relationship with you. Either way, it seems like a zone of conflict and I would like to remind you that you deserve better. I know you love him but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and only you? Would you really like to be with someone who treats you like an option and draws comparisons with the ex? I suggest you rethink the relationship.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes, things look better on paper than in reality. You might have had a list and he checks almost all the boxes but that does not mean there is chemistry between the two of you. I understand your dilemma but I would strongly suggest letting him go if you don't love him the way he does. I am sure you would agree that he deserves better. You do not have to be brutally honest about it. You can just be kind and let him know that things are not working out the way you thought they would and it is completely a "you issue" and not on him at all. Do not gaslight him into breaking up or try any other juvenile techniques. This is the best way to part ways.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Forgiving yourself might feel like a tall order right now, but think of it as an act of self-compassion rather than erasing the past. You don’t have to pretend nothing went wrong, but you do deserve to free yourself from the narrative that you were entirely to blame. Sometimes, when we feel stuck in the past, it’s because we haven’t fully acknowledged our emotions or allowed ourselves to grieve—not just for the relationship, but for the version of ourselves we wish we’d been. It’s okay to feel sadness or anger or regret. Letting yourself sit with those feelings—without judgment—can help loosen their grip over time.

A fresh start begins with allowing yourself to be imperfect and to acknowledge your growth. Seven years is a long time, and you are not the same person you were back then. The lessons you’ve learned from this heartbreak have likely shaped you in ways you don’t even realize. If you can, try focusing on who you want to become rather than on who you were. What kind of relationships do you want to create in the future? What kind of kindness can you extend to yourself right now?

You’re not letting anyone down by wanting to heal. In fact, letting go of that guilt might be the greatest way to honor both yourself and the love you shared back then. You deserve happiness and connection, not in spite of your past, but because of it—it’s part of your journey, not the end of it.

Ans: Start by creating opportunities for meaningful interaction. Sometimes the daily routines and responsibilities can create emotional walls, so finding a calm and positive environment for conversation is key. You might begin by sharing your feelings in a way that emphasizes your own experience rather than pointing out what your partner might not be doing. For example, saying something like, "I've been feeling a little disconnected lately, and I miss the closeness we used to share," opens the door for dialogue without sounding accusatory.

Rekindling intimacy often starts with small, intentional efforts to reestablish connection. This might mean setting aside time for each other, even if it’s just a few minutes of uninterrupted conversation at the end of the day. Look for moments to express appreciation for your partner, as this can help rebuild emotional warmth and remind them of the value they bring to your life.

It’s also worth reflecting on whether external stresses might be contributing to the distance. If either of you has been overwhelmed by work, family, or personal challenges, addressing those together can foster a sense of partnership and mutual support. Similarly, revisiting shared memories or engaging in activities you used to enjoy together can help reignite the bond you once had.

Lastly, be patient and consistent. Emotional intimacy doesn’t always come back instantly, but with genuine effort, kindness, and an open heart, you can rebuild the connection over time. Consider it a journey you’re embarking on together, rather than something you need to fix alone. If you feel like external guidance might help, discussing this with a couples therapist could provide both of you with tools to strengthen your relationship in a supportive environment.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your frustration. You made some very valid points. You are absolutely right- no one has any business asking you about your virginity. And you are also correct that it does not define you at all. But the truth is, to some people, it matters more than it should. They are not entirely at fault alone; it is the whole society. Nevertheless, you are right. While it is your decision whether you want to lie or be honest, I would suggest telling the truth. Not for their sake; for yours. You should not have to live your married life always thinking "Would my past have mattered to him?" or wondering if things would have been different if you told him the truth. Moreover, being honest will set you free; maybe it comes with rejections, but at least you do not ever have to bear the weight of lies or feel guilty about deceiving someone. And most importantly, you won’t have to settle for someone who cares so much about such superficial things. Happy marriages cannot start with a lie.

We can't control what's important to whom, but we can respect them, even if we disagree. If you are not comfortable disclosing your body count or past, simply answer their question with yours- "Does that matter to you a lot?" If they say yes, you can reject him because your values don't align.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, there is no hard and fast rule that says that men have to make the first move. If you like someone, you can easily give him a call or drop a text. If a man finds that desperate, you should not settle for someone like that.

Next, judging by the series of events, I would say there is a good chance of either of two things happening- first, he might actually be very busy. But I don't think people are ever so busy that they can't take five minutes of their time to make a call. But then again, you are still strangers and hence, you are not his priority currently. Second, they might be breadcrumbing you. Just giving you enough hope to keep you hooked while they search for more potential matches. The most concerning thing is that the entire family can't keep their word or have the decency to inform about the change of plans.

Your father is not wrong; right now if you contact him after he has repeatedly failed to contact you, it will not look good, and worse, you will not feel good about it. My question is, do you really want a man like this? I know you have been trying for a while and not getting good results can be frustrating, but that does not mean you have to settle for this. I truly believe you deserve better. You can wait some more and see where it goes, but I strongly suggest not pursuing things from your end anymore. Let them do so if they are truly interested. Suppose they don't, understand that you have dodged a bullet.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Shruti,
There isn't much you can do here other than be by your boyfriend's side while he tries to convince his parents. I am sure he has tried everything, but it can't hurt to try some more. He can highlight all the good things about you and mention that he isn't trying to hurt them by marrying you, rather he thinks you will fit perfectly into his family. Ask him to mention how his life has changed for the better since he met you, and how you make him happy. I am hoping that these might change their minds, or at least push them to meet you and your family once.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Your decision to stop texting him first is a healthy step because relationships should feel balanced and mutual. Constantly initiating conversations can leave you feeling undervalued or unsure about where you stand. By taking a step back, you give him the opportunity to show whether he genuinely wants to engage and invest in building a connection with you. This isn’t about playing games but about respecting your own feelings and worth.

At the same time, try to observe his actions rather than just his words. Does he initiate conversations on his own? Does he make an effort to get to know you better? If he continues to show inconsistent interest, it may be a sign that he isn’t ready or committed to the idea of building a relationship right now. And that’s okay—it just means he may not be the right match for you.

Trust your instincts as you move forward. If his behavior leaves you feeling confused or unimportant, it’s okay to walk away and focus on finding someone who values you and communicates in a way that feels fulfilling. Your time and emotions are precious, and it’s important to seek a connection where you feel respected, understood, and appreciated.

Finally, don’t let this experience discourage you. These situations are part of learning what you want and need in a partner. Give yourself grace, and remember that the right relationship will come with clarity, mutual respect, and ease.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry to see you so conflicted. I am not completely certain what went down between you two but in general, a good and honest conversation can help in such situations. Since you mentioned hurting him by not understanding his needs, I recommend you to focus more on communication. Ask him about his love language- what would make him happy, what he expects from you, what you could expect from him, and more. This way, there will be clarity. I am sure you did nothing to hurt him intentionally. Please be strong; this is just a fleeting issue.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, have you met this person in real life? A lot of true love stories start online, but it is very important to meet face-to-face before making any commitments. Secondly, not being able to forget his ex can either be the truth or a ploy to end this relationship with you. Either way, it seems like a zone of conflict and I would like to remind you that you deserve better. I know you love him but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and only you? Would you really like to be with someone who treats you like an option and draws comparisons with the ex? I suggest you rethink the relationship.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Let me reassure you that you’re not alone in facing this challenge, and what you describe is quite common in teenagers. The teenage years are a time of immense internal transformation. It's as if your son is building a new version of himself, one brick at a time, and sometimes, in that process, he may feel the need to pull away to figure things out.

You see, as children grow, their world expands. Their focus shifts from being family-centered to exploring who they are in the larger world. This doesn't mean he cares any less about you; it simply means he’s working on something deep within himself—maybe even trying to understand emotions and situations he doesn’t yet have the words for.

Now, instead of trying to make him talk, which might feel like pressure to him, consider this: how can you create an environment where he wants to open up? Imagine if, instead of asking direct questions or expressing concern, you shared a small, non-threatening piece of your world. Maybe a funny story about your day or a memory of when you were his age. Sometimes, starting with something light gives him permission to engage without feeling interrogated.

Another way to open doors is through shared experiences. Teenagers often speak more freely when they're not face-to-face. Maybe a walk or a ride, cooking a meal together, or even playing a video game could become moments where he feels comfortable talking.

And when he does speak, no matter how small the opening, meet him with curiosity, not judgment. If he shares something, reflect it back to him in a way that says, "I hear you, and I value what you're saying." For example, if he mentions feeling frustrated, you could say, "It sounds like something’s been tough for you lately," rather than jumping to advice.

Finally, remind yourself—and him—this is a phase, not a permanent state. He is still that talkative child deep inside, but right now, he's learning to balance his need for independence with the safety of your love. Your steady presence, even when he seems distant, will be his anchor.

You’re already asking the right question, and that shows how much you care. Trust the process, and trust your connection. It’s still there, even in the quiet moments.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is Balance? When there are two equal weights placed on either side of a weighing scale, they balance each other perfectly. So, in life, other than housework and taking care of others (one side), you have forgotten to place the same weight on the other side which is self-care.
Do what it takes to keep yourself happy, so that this happiness can fuel what you do on the other side for others. Makes sense?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Has this started more recently or has it been going on for a while now? This is a good indicator to know if things were most;y like this or if any recent event has triggered this.
If it is a recent thing, I guess you could try and find out what exactly could have caused this. But if it is something that has been happening for a long time, the reasons could be any and many. Since there is also some physical abuse as you mentioned, kindly make an appointment with a professional who will be able to guide your wife through this challenging time. It possibly involves some unresolved things from the past which is making life currently difficult for all of you.
Work as a family unit together for her and not against her. It's going to make matters worse. She may refuse to go to a professional, then the only option left is for you to develop a lot of patience and deal with this adult to adult with her. No fights, quarrels with her but a lot of quiet conversations which she will initially resist but someday she will give in...So if you want the family to get back together in a healthy way, a lot also depends on how you are going to deal with the situation.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Intimacy for a man and women are very different and varied as well.
You cannot NOT connect during the week at an emotional level and then expect your wife to be excited to jump in bed. That's not how it works!
Both of you work which means weekends do get busy with household chores, children and more...there's very little time and energy left for intimate moments.
On your wife's part, she has not learned as yet to leave office work at the office but certainly what to cook for the next day is a huge task if this depends only on her. Why don't the two of you pitch in to distribute the household work between you? That way she does not feel burdened (if she does feel that way)...this also goes a long way in letting her know that you care and you want to help her...
You could also talk about how you can steal some moments after office and before you reach home by meeting at a cafe and sharing time over a cup of coffee. This definitely will make your wife feel more connected and emotionally secure which is a start point to easing of your sexual relationship.
Basically, get back to the dating scene and make your relationship a priority. A great sexual life is a product of the connection that a couple share outside the bedroom and the willingness on the part of the couple to make that happen.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it can be difficult to move on from a relationship you put effort into building. But this will pass. You have to let time do its thing. For now, allow yourself to feel the pain. If you bottle it up, it will be harder to move on. Once you feel all the emotions that you are experiencing right now, slowly you'll notice that those sad emotions are passing. Grab onto that. Focus on your studies, hangout with your friends, and soon you will feel a lot better.

Hope this helps.

Ans: It’s clear that you deeply care about your partner and the health of your relationship, but recurring arguments and a lack of expressed love are creating a disconnect. To nurture love and clarity in your communication, it’s essential to create an emotional space where both of you feel safe, valued, and understood—even during disagreements.

When arguments arise, they often escalate because emotions are heightened, and both people feel the need to defend their perspective. To shift this dynamic, start by focusing on emotional regulation in those moments. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re both on the same team, even if you see things differently. This small pause can prevent reactive words or actions that might escalate the conflict further.

Outside of conflicts, consider the daily emotional climate of your relationship. If love isn’t being expressed regularly, your partner may feel insecure or disconnected, which can intensify disagreements. Begin to nurture love by weaving simple but heartfelt expressions of care into your everyday interactions. This might be as simple as saying, “I appreciate you,” giving a warm hug, or acknowledging something they did, however small. These gestures build emotional reserves that make handling tough conversations easier because they remind both of you of the underlying bond.

When it comes to communication, try reframing the way you approach disagreements. Speak from your feelings rather than placing blame. For instance, instead of saying, “You’re not listening to me,” try, “I feel unheard, and it’s making me frustrated.” This subtle but powerful shift fosters understanding rather than defensiveness. Equally important is listening with an open mind. Practice reflecting back what your partner shares to show you’re truly hearing them. For example, “I hear that you’re upset because you feel I didn’t prioritize you—am I understanding that correctly?”

Love is nurtured in the moments between conflicts—through trust, small acts of kindness, and consistent emotional support. Reflect on what makes your partner feel loved and cherished, and intentionally incorporate those actions into your daily life. At the same time, share what you need emotionally so they understand how to nurture you too. This mutual exchange strengthens your connection and creates a deeper sense of partnership.

Finally, consider having a calm, heartfelt conversation about how you both want to handle conflicts and express love moving forward. Creating shared goals for your relationship can bring clarity and purpose, helping you both feel aligned. By approaching your relationship with patience, empathy, and intentional care, you can not only resolve current challenges but also nurture a love that feels steady, secure, and fulfilling.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What do you want me to tell you? You yourself said that he will never return the money...so then quietly move on...The more time you spend on thinking about things that are over, the more energy you waste on them.
So, just move on and do not look back. You will thank yourself for taking this step.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear kp,
I would not know why these people that you speak of, are going away from you. There could be many reasons and you will surely be aware of it. List down who are ones that moved away and what happened between you and them just before it happened. A conversation, an incident, a fight? There's surely something that has set them off...
Or, they simply are busy with their lives; then simply call them up and talk to them...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Erich,
Why are you getting in the middle of two grown-ups? Their relationship dynamic is theirs to take care of and if you interfere, it will invariably become a struggle for you as it will invariably become a game where you will want to see their relationship in a particular way.
If things have been okay for 26 years between them, what's with the open communication? Let them decide if and when they want it...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
And by being fair, there's some great advantage that they all have, is it?
I know that it has been pretty unfair on you that you are not 'fair' and the obsession that some families have over skin color is pretty sickening.
Now, this part of your life is under your control. Either ruin it by bringing the past and 'color' it bad or make it 'colorful' by actually challenging what had happened to you. And how do you do that? By actually not reacting to the past labels; they were in your past. If you accept the way you look and flaunt it, then all these comparisons do not matter. But if you keep replaying the saem music from your past, this is going to continue and make it only worse.
So, accept yourself and every time you feel bad, make sure you tell yourself that your past does not define how your present is...again like any mindset change, this will take time to take effect BUT keep powering on...
Only you can be your best friend and hero, that's it...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/