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Ravi Sir, I've been dating this girl for over 3 years now. I have done everything for her, supported her when she changed her job, dealt with her family drama, and emotional breakdowns. Our parents and friends know about us too. She is now in a better job and mental space. I am 34, she is 31. Last week, I took her on a date. She was looking beautiful and I thought we should discuss our future. She simply ignored. When I asked again she said 'I'm not ready for anything serious now.' I was so hurt and betrayed. I felt like she used me during her bad time. She just continued to eat and drink through the rest of the conversation while I was trying to control my emotions. She didn't even text me after I dropped her home. Was I just a temporary comfort? It's been five days. She is online but hasn't texted me. I want some clarity, because I loved her whole heartedly.

Hello coach. I am dating a 42 yr old man who is almost perfect for marriage. He is kind, successful, and we have a great chemistry. But there is a problem. He says he never wants kids. The thing is I want to be a mother someday. I feel so bad about this. Everything else is so right. Should I give up on him or continue the relationship hoping that he will change his mind?

I am 42 yrs old holding a senior position in an organization. I am married with 11 yrs old son. I am attracted toward my colleague who is also of my age and holding same position. She also expects complement from me like how is she looking in a particular dress and new hairstyle. She discusses very personal things like her gynic issues etc. Whenever she sits near me, she sits very close almost touching my body. I dont know whether she is also attracted towards me. I am in dilemma, should I express my feelings or not. Sometimes i think that I should totally ignore her and let these feelings die. I ignored her for 2 months but became more restless and ultimately started talking to her. Please help me how to come out of this situation

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I've been married for 19 years. We live in a joint family with my husband and in-laws. Since last year, my father has recently become bedridden and needs constant care. Since he lives in another city, I have been travelling constantly to take turns to attend him. I want to bring him to our home, but my mother-in-law strongly objects saying they will lose their privacy. My husband tries to mediate but often ends up siding with his mother, saying she's getting old too. I am not able to decide being a daughter and a daughter-in-law. Is it unfair of me to expect support for my father, or am I compromising too much in this marriage?

Hi I am 34 year old male and want to settle down but also in doubt that the marriage will take my independence. I started looking for bride with arrange marriage option. I am taking to a girl for last 3-4 months 2 time a week. I never had any serious relationship before and don't know what exactly to lookout in marriage. The girl I am seeing has average looks and physique but she okay with conversation and little shy and majority of the conversation I have only started. Her weight or BMI is very low around 19 and my BMI is overweight above 26. There is different in 45-50 kgs in weight. Am I working too much about physical appearance and should I interact with other prospects also. I have meet with her family along with my parent two times and little worried that more meeting will led to frustration if marriage didn't materialize. I have also left my current job and taking some break before joining new one. Will this career break will impact my marriage prospects. Also sometimes I feel that I may have set my standards very high as I am well educated from good institute and I can explore many options before choosing one. Is this leading me to non commitment as I may find some fault to not commit to marriage.

Hi Dr Kaur, my wife and I have been married for a decade. We have two kids, 8 and 6 and live with my parents. Our conversations are often turning into arguments. We barely communicate without stress or worry. I fear this is affecting our children. With parents around, it becomes difficult to have an honest chat. How can we restore our connection and improve our communication?

I am 42 yrs old holding a senior position in an organization. I am married with 11 yrs old son. I am attracted toward my colleague who is also of my age and holding same position. She also expects complement from me like how is she looking in a particular dress and new hairstyle. She discusses very personal things like her gynic issues etc. Whenever she sits near me, she sits very close almost touching my body. I dont know whether she is also attracted towards me. I am in dilemma, should I express my feelings or not. Sometimes i think that I should totally ignore her and let these feelings die. I ignored her for 2 months but became more restless and ultimately started talking to her. Please help me how to come out of this situation. I am very very confused.

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Hi Shalini! While travelling from city A to city B in India, I met this young girl. I say young because I am 44 and single. She seemed much younger. It was basically on the airport bus from the airport to city center. She was the one to initiate conversation and once it started, 2 hrs just went by in a breeze. I really enjoyed the conversation. It seemed like a proper date! :D So, while boarding off the bus, I asked her if she would join me and my friends (2 boys) for a get together the next day. (I was in the city only for a very short time). She said shez fine with it and exchanged nos. But next day she very politely refused to meet me/us. She also said 'next time'. I agreed and thanked her. That's it. No more interaction. She also seemed to like my reply as she put a heart on it. However, later in the day she blocked me on whatsapp! :D Then a couple of days later, I sent her a text/SMS that it was a nice surprise to see me blocked on whatsapp! She read it and never replied. Issue is I think I have fallen for her and would like to at least squeeze 1 date with her. What do I do now? I don't think messaging her on SMS is cool as she never responded the last time. How do I let her know that I want to meet her without any stress for her. Shez in Bangalore.

After my retirement, my wife and I moved in with our elder son and daughter-in-law, who offered to take care of us. But ever since my younger son got married, he barely calls or visits. Recently, he told my sister that my presence in his brother's house is the reason he avoids coming over. He feels suffocated and says we didn't give him equal attention growing up. I'm confused and hurt. My wife says we should give him space, but I feel emotionally abandoned by him. Have I failed as a father, or is this a common phase in families with grown children?

For the past few months, I spend a lot of time in the social media scrolling. I took 3 days leave from the office to fix this. Yet, those 3 days went by scrolling the social media. Help me please.

I am very behind of everybody in life, whether in relationships, study, career. How can i gear up and compete with people of my age.

I am a single mother working from home. My job requires a lot of focus and uninterrupted time. Lately, a married man, someone I know either through work or socially, has been interrupting me quite often during my working hours. At first, I didn't think much of it. His messages or calls seemed casual and friendly, sometimes even about work. But now, it is becoming too frequent, and honestly, it's starting to feel intrusive. He often reaches out for non-urgent reasons, just to chat or share random things. Even when I delay my replies or hint that I'm busy, he keeps coming back. I've started to feel a bit uncomfortable -- not just because it's affecting my work and focus, but because I'm not sure what his real intentions are. He is married, and sometimes the tone of his messages or the need for emotional connection feels... a bit much. I don't want to overreact or misjudge the situation, but I also don't want to encourage something that feels inappropriate. I am torn between keeping things cordial and professional, and protecting my peace and boundaries. I don't want to create awkwardness, especially if I'll have to interact with him again in the future.

Hello! Ma'am, I'm 39yrs old guy from Delhi. I never ever been into a relationship with a woman. Neither, i dated, nor i approached someone due to my own flaws, career setbacks, self hatred thoughts about my own personality and more. Once, a girl said that I am boring. It's not like i don't like women or i don't respect them. I love them and can do things to make a woman happy. But, now some women are greedy and hungry for a man's money, property. To, get this she uses fake cases against the man and his family. Since, i have no experience in the dating. So, marriage is bit scary and the fear is real. Government of india and the law. All are against the men. Also, I'm an ADHD guy. So, this creates more messed in life and career. I don't know whether I should try it or not. Being a woman. Please guide and kindly, share your thoughts?

I am 46 years old male married for the past 17 years. I have one son. My wife loves me very much. She is highly possessive about me since our marriage. I fell in love with my colleague who is a widow and 25 years of age with a seven years daughter. She only started communicating and talking to me a lot. I was not having any kind of feelings towards her as I was overloaded with work. Then, I got transferred to other place. There work pressure is not much as in the earlier section. Now, I am in love with that widow. I told this to my wife also but not told about this to that widow. After hearing this my wife was shocked. After hue and cry, now my wife is back to normal and warned me to stay away from that girl. But I am not able to forget that girl. I called her over phone four to five times. When I was with her, I never confessed that I love her. Now when I got transferred, I am keeping whats app statuses which are visible only to her. When ever I put up sad and love break up messages only that time she will respond by keeping whatsapp status otherwise she will be neutral. Whenever, I called her she replied and we spoke casually. Now, she also knows that I am loving her but not responding. I have deleted her mobile number but I remember it. Daily after leaving the house and before reaching the house I delete the number. I dont want to cheat my wife and at the same time not able to forget that girl also. Please suggest me what to do.

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I am 23 years old. I am in relationship from 8 years. I am Hindu brahmin and He is Sikh . so its inter-religion . my mother and brother accept my relationship. but my father is so conservative. wo kidhar aur rishta dekh rhe hai mera .and he is like usko bhi mar duga aur tumko bhi. but itte door aake i can't loose him. we seriously love each other. but bhagna bhi nahi chahte dono. what should I do ? how to convince my father?

Hi....my mother in law is interfering a lot ...she is not going anywhere even once in a day...she is going out with me and my husband...she will do brain wash of my husband...my married life is fully disturbed because of my mother in law...pls suggest someone...what should i do ??

Hi, I'm 44, never married. I have been on several dating apps and matrimonial sites. Every time I start talking to someone or go on a few dates, my family finds out and starts interfering. My mom would ask questions, judge what I am wearing. Worse, she will investigate the guy on his social media. She has sent friendship requests to so many strangers just to get access into their account. I am tired of being treated like a teenager. I want to explore relationships at my own pace without being shamed or forced to explain every choice. How do I draw the line?

I'm 37, successful in my career, live in my own flat. I am financially secure. But everyone around me keeps saying, 'you've become too independent, that's why you're still single.' Most men I meet either feel intimidated or want me to adjust my lifestyle to fit into theirs. What if I don't want to change myself to make someone else comfortable? Do strong, emotionally mature men exist? Or do I need to compromise to avoid being alone forever?

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Gurus, My father passed away when I was 27 years old, I was not employed before that, now I am employed in a field I don't know much about and the work is giving me anxiety and depression, also I need to stay away from my wife and child. Do many people go through these feelings ? I feel as I was shielded from people and work environment i am finding the work grind too harsh and feel like giving up, i have accepted my situation but can't find guts to work against these feelings What should I do ?

Hi, I'm 19 teen but I had never been in a relationship ? When I got a girl

It's been three months I got married. My wife is a financial analyst in a company (working from home) . I am myself having WHF job. She was earlier doing WFO in gurgaon and now i she is facing some difficulty due to env change. We live with my parents in our hometown and there is always some small things ongoing amongst the family members. What should I do? How to balance between my mother and my wife

My parents were approaching on shaadi.com by the guys family. They spoke and thiught it was compatible our kundlis matched. He initated conversation with me, we called, he met my mum and brother. Then we spoke a little here and there, but he started giving 1 message a day and i knew he had a job interview so i said ill let you focus on the interview let me know how it goes we'll catch up and oragnise or meet once its done. And now its week a week and he hasnt popped up. I dont know what to do.

My husband and I have been married for two years. Ours was a love marriage. I'm Hindu and he is Christian. While we agreed to follow both traditions equally, things changed after his elder sister moved in temporarily due to her divorce. She insists on us attending church every Sunday, and recently criticised me for putting up a rangoli for Ekadashi, saying it's against their beliefs. My husband tries to avoid confrontation and says it's just for a few months, but I feel sidelined in my own home. My parents advise me to be patient, but I'm starting to feel like I am the outsider. Am I overreacting or is this a sign of incompatibility?

I'm getting married.and this is a arrange marriage starting mai thik lagrha and mene bola tha November Tak rukte hai kyu ki wo February m aaye the so time mil jata samjhne ke liye but uske family wale april m hi done kar diye or meri family bhi ab mujhe khi khi uska behaviour acha nahi lgrha . Wo hmesa sex ki topic pe bat krta jo mujhe uncomfortable lgta hai wo mujhe love jesa feeling feel nahi krata bus sensational intimate physical sex ki hi bat krta hai or ab mai kuch ni kar sakti na ye kisi ko bta sakti . Please btaye mai kya karu

Ma'am The guy who had a fight with my husband over a text asking him why he stare became a matter of dispute between my husband and that married neighbourhood guy. He thinks m the one flirting with him Over msgs. He still crosses and pass very closely with my husband while going for an evening walk. He is not troubling me and my daughter anymore. He is just busy with my husband now. He would always walk across us. I don't know what else he wants . Do u think my husband should talk with him or wr just have to ignore him. ???

My age was only 23 when my mother left this world. Me & my father were alone after my mother. My father was asking me for marriage, so that a girl can come in our home & manage household chores, but I wanted to focus on my career for at least 6 more years. That's why I denied. We somehow managed for 1 year after my mother left us, but after that my father couldn't wait more & started pressuring me to marriage. I was still not ready. So, my father found a girl for himself. Co-incidence was that the girl was just 1 year elder than me. My father's master plan was that he will make us pretend that it's my wife in front of the world because of his reputation. I liked the idea & the girl was also ready. Don't know how that girl was convinced to marry my father. She is from decent family. Even her parents don't know that my father is her real husband. So, my father made me married to her in front of all. We managed everything excellently from all the rituals to our relatives. We acted well. In front of the world & in papers, she was my wife, but biologically she became my step mother. They got 2 children in 6 to 8 years, but I got stuck without marriage because according to everyone I am married. Now, I am 39 now & my father also left this world last year. I am unmarried & she (step mother) is a widow. Me & her both are feeling alone in this world without a partner. My step mother suggested if she can become my real wife. We both like each other's company but I don't know if there will be any consequences in the future. Nobody will say anything because nobody knows the truth except both of us. Divorce is not a good option because there are children. What do you suggest ??

Hello ma'am! I live with my wife, daughter and in-laws in a flat allotted to my wife. In-laws are living with us for the last 8 years. They came to help during the early years of daughter. But they stayed. Over the last few years my relationship with my wife and of course in-laws has turned sour. We often fight and these don't get resolved easily. Most of the decisions are taken by them. I often feel like an outside person. My contribution has gone down both financially and physically. I tried to persuade my wife to move some where else but she refused. Discussed the same with in-laws but surprisingly accused me of playing tactics to make my wife follow my terms. The child over the years seeing all this follows only her mother. No one seems to be interested in any remedial measures. Wife (multiple times) and father in law have suggested divorce. Despite all this and multiple discussions with wife things are not moving forward. My parents don't support separation at this moment. Completely puzzled how to move forward. [I am 47 years old]

Hi Mam, I am a south indian married to marathi. It's been over 14 years of marriage with a 3 year old son. After marriage, we stayed away from in law's for 8 to 9 years. During Covid, we shifted back to my in laws place. Things were okay for few months but then my MIL started creating issues ....small issues wherein there was no mistake of mine. Then Covid 2nd wave happened. I lost my younger sister and father to Covid. At that time my husband supported me a lot but my MIL was constantly taunting me that I am only crying and not doing any household work. To carry on my routine, I found a job WFH. But due to WFH, she always used to disturb me and ask to do house hold chores which led to me getting stressed and couldn't focus on work. I became pregnant and she started behaving weirdly Things fell apart, me and my husband rented an apartment nearby and stayed and we managed my pregnancy and childbirth and child caring all on by our own. 2 years back, my FIL suddenly passed away, which means we had to shift back again to stay with MIL. In the beginning I thought things will change, but she is started behaving more weirdly. I ignored it. She expects me to do everything for her and doesn't even allow me to keep a maid whereas I was living comfortable life when we were living separately. I am taking classes from home and its difficult to manage everything as I work about 8 hours a day, plus take care of my child plus do household chores. Mu husband will not stay separately because she is alone now. She expects me to do everything but if i talk in my language with my son, she doesn't like it. Last week she told me don't teach him your language, I hate your language and we didn't want you, you only came in our life. Hearing this I felt really bad. I lost my mother at an early age to cancer, I lost my father and sister to Covid This is how she behaves with me. I cannot call or talk to anyone about this and I am getting frustrated. I feel teaching my language and culture is the only connect i have with my mother and my family and she is not allowing me to do that My husband is supportive but currently he is having some stress at Work so I don't want to talk to him about this. Please help

Hello Ma'am I am in a love with a married man and I love him immensely but the now the situation is he told me that he loves me a lot and he is ready to leave his wife but now he is telling me that he can't leave his wife because it is impossible for him to take this step. So in that case should I wait for him. Or not . And also I am a Bengali women and belongs to jatt community.. Do ans me

Hi Ms Kanchan, I am 46. Last year, I remarried a senior colleague I was working with after being widowed. My current husband has never been married before and lives with his aging parents in Delhi. I moved in with my two teenage children from my first marriage. Initially, his family seemed welcoming, but now his mother openly criticises my parenting, claiming my children are 'rude' and 'spoiled.' My daughter overheard her saying she doesn't want 'someone else's kids' in the house. My husband says I should ignore her as she's a bit conservative and old-fashioned. But when I go to work, I feel guilty for putting my kids through this. I am trying to build a peaceful home, but it feels like I am failing both my children and my marriage. Is it wrong to expect my husband to take a firmer stand with his parents, or am I rushing things in this blended family?

My father has given Surety for X person. Now that X person is not repaying loan. Now My father got notices for Salary attachment. Is there any way to revoke surety now???. How do I make my father legally come out of this issue.??

Hello Ms Shalini. I have been reading your columns. I am 52, an HR professional, divorced in 2022, after 26 years of marriage. My kids are grown up and settled abroad. Now I'm alone, and honestly, I feel like I have missed out on life. I want to experience love again, but I dont know where and how to begin. Honestly, i dont want to sound or look desperate and call for attention. A female friend told me to get on an app. It's awkward to create a profile for a date. I am not looking for a fling. I don't want desperate men either. I want good companionship. Where do I begin?

I am 33, female, living and working in Bangalore. My parents are constantly asking me to settle down in an arranged marriage. I was in a serious relationship but the boy cheated me for a rich girl so I have trust issues. The people I meet for marriage either on apps or through friends don't want commitment. My mom is scared that if I don't marry soon, society will label me as old and picky. I don't want to marry for the heck of it. Is it even possible to find someone serious online or should I rely on my parents to find a suitable guy?

I am 34 years old, married for 6 years. We live in Pune. My husband's sister is always involved in our matters. She decides what we buy, how we raise our child, and even stops us when we fight. She stays nearby and comes over daily. My husband never stops her because she is elder by 6 years. But I feel like she controls our marriage. I am tired of keeping quiet. What should I do?

Hi I'm 46 years and an entrepreneur for 20 years. I have hit a point now where I seem to have lost everything and seems like I'm at minus 1000 as I don't know what to do at the moment. I'm in the process of clearing my debts and raising some monies by selling a property that I own. Not sure how to even explore something new as in not sure of my skill sets that i possess. Societal pressure is also there in the kind of work/business that I would pursue. My wife too is exploring new opportunities and I'm sure she will pursue something in the months to come. But my lifes aim or purpose seems to be in the crossroads. Not sure if I'm even capable of doing anything. Always u der constant stress and dilemma. Not even sure if this is the form where I need to put out something like this.

I am a 45-year-old divorced entrepreneur based in Pune. Over the past few years, I have been in three short-lived relationships -- all with people who couldn't commit or were emotionally distant. I have done some introspection and even tried therapy, but I still find myself falling for the same type of women. I want to understand what's drawing me to them and how to break this cycle.

I am a 41 yr old man. Married for the last 17 yrs, my wife is now 37 yrs old. w are Bengalis but now due t my work stay in Bengaluru. we had an arranged marriage but soon after the marriage I found her to be very irresponsible, she had the mentality that her husband has to be responsible for all her whims & fancies without any expectation from her. Though her family was more like ours middle class & financially poorer then us Initially I thought that she will mature with time. Within 1 yr we had our 1st kid who is 16 yrs old & in 11th now. Thinking she will now be responsible as mother but found very little change & I had to force/push her to do maternal duties while I managed the other things despite myself working as an engineer in an mnc & she being a housewife. next year we had our 2nd kid. This pressure was reflected in my office & my performance suffered, anyway I managed to stay afloat. Giving her any family task always resulted in her doing a coverup job & when things went wrong I had to set it right as the family or there will be monetary loss. Obviously I used to tell her about all this, then she will be OK for 1-2 weeks then again back to same. Even taking care of the children there studies soon became my responsibility. One thing was good was our sexual life which what I understand she is good & this gave me somewhat something to bear her Though other factor like middle class mentality that parents should not move out for the kids sake kept me somewhat tied to her & tried to make myself happy.Last year around June she told me that she will like to leave me as she wants to marry one of her telegu friend's brother who works in Dubai now, given my above reason I was not very upset on hearing this but was worried about our kids the eldest then gave his 10th exam & younger was promoted to class 10. After some talks & persuasion she agreed that she will wait for 3 yrs ie the younger kid to complete her schooling & going to college, & also keep the whole things secret with only 4-5 people knowing it, this she has responsibly done. Now its 1 year & I am in a very bad situation & need your support first she is now completely without any responsibility of the kids or family, she just cooks the meals sees that the maids work & even if I tell her to look into what the kids are studying or take the small responsibility like waking them up or minor things like go to the shop etc , she simply declines & always she is busy browsing or chatting, in Feb her to be husband came to Bangalore & she spend 2 nights with him in a resort. I did not want the kids to know about all this as it will mentally disturb them so I had to make stories to them about there mom going to a friend's marriage etc. He is again coming in mid July & they are planning to go out again.. My delima is I can bear the whole thing with a glimmer of hope that our separation maybe avoided which makes a somewhat social negativeness for me my parents & my kids but am I doing the right thing or being desperate is what I should be? The second point is something which I am feeling very uneasy to write, though we have decided to separate & she is having sex with this guy but we are still have sex, I dont want to really worry that she having sex with me is cheating with her to be husband but as I told you before it is really relaxing & gives me the strength to bear all this... Please suggest what I should do, immediately leave her which will end the story though I am not really ready if I & the kids will be able to take the social slur or wait for another 2 years with the hope that maybe things will change