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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |710 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 09, 2026

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |710 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Girls reject me because I am not so tall and handsome. I am 41, single. I have a 9 to 6 job earning 12 lakhs per annum. I lost my dad and live with my mother. My younger sister is married and has two kids. Somehow I have not been lucky with online dating. Girls reject me beause I am average in looks and salary. I am 5 ft 1 inch. I don't have any special talent or passion. I have tried to take up singing, art, dance, gym but it's not working for me. I go to temples with my mom, I do social work on weekends to keep myself positive and busy. When it comes to dating and marriage, it is disappointing sometimes. I am afraid to express myself to girls now. I don't judge anyone but how do I find someone who understands me, beyond my looks and salary. My mother is 64, I also need a companion. Is it too much to expect?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First let me reassure you that you are not asking for much. Wanting love and wanting someone who sees you beyond your looks and salary is very natural. You have faced rejections and it hurts; it does create a kind of fear, and right now that fear is stopping you from approaching anyone or hoping that someone will love you for who you are. It’s not the reality; it’s the fear speaking and it’s totally understandable. Let me address all the issues one by one. Yes, height can be important for some women, but not all. The ones who rejected you for it, were not meant for you. You don’t need everyone to accept you; you only need the right woman. Second, 12LPA salary is not average. The expectation online is very inflated. If you are doing an honest day’s work and earning a decent amount and taking care of your needs and your family’s as well, that does not make your earning average. Third, caring for your mother is your biggest strength in personality. You work, take care of your mom, do social work, and you are consistently trying to improve yourself. That’s far deeper than physical appearance. Now, I suggest that you stop trying to mold yourself into someone women would find attractive but rather continue working on yourself for yourself. That would spike your confidence and confidence is key. Most people, not just women, might be initially attracted to looks but for the longer run, they want someone who is dependable and responsible, and you are that. So next time you seek a partner, look for someone who is not only looking to date but to settle down. Someone who has the same clarity as you; someone mature, who understands the importance of strong character traits than mere physical appearance. Your frustration and fear is valid, but don’t let it make you go inside a shell. You deserve everything and you will get them.

Hope this helps.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |710 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I had a woman colleague whom I was very close with her.I had lots of interactions with her daily lunch outing lunch etc..but we both are in early 40s both r married and having kids.We had a special liking don't know beyond it.I was crazy on her and always thinking of her.She resigned and got relieved gave her gifts etc..I used to pick her drop her etc..But after resigned I was in constant touch with her and she never told me where she joined.One day I called her and she didn't pick the call and when I wrote hope ur busy she wrote a nasty message stating I was searching her where she went and didn't che k with her and I will show this message to entire world etc ..she wrote ..I tried to convince them topic changed but this hurt me very very badly with sleepless nights.I have done lots lots and help to her during her tenure but she was selfish and threw me with bad intentions.Then after few days I also wrote ur a opportunity,selfish and then I helped u etc and we had a complete split she returned my gift amount and I paid for her charity which she collects for the year.But anyways not able to move away from our thoughts even though we have completely split and both blocked out numbers etc..Let me know how to come out from this iam so depressed not in a mood to do anything..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am not sure if you mean you both have romantic feelings for each other or just friendly. If it’s romantic, I am not sure I can help because in that case, you should be working on your marriages and figuring out what’s lacking in your relationship that you are seeking love and attention from a colleague. If the feelings are romantic, moving on from your colleague should be the least of your worries and working on your marriage your priority.

But if you mean you and your colleague were close friends, and you can’t move on from the friendship, then I am sorry you are in such a tricky situation. Sometimes people forget about all the good things we do for them; people forget friendships. It happens and it’s unfair. I know moving on from some friendships can be difficult but with time it will not feel much of a loss, especially when you understand that they were never your real friend.

Hope this helps.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1772 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Hi, My Marriage Ends in 1 month after marriage and mutual Divorce was Completed without any strong reasons, Wife went to her home by giving their own reasons like compactability issue.In court and during Divorce process she fully cooperated and we are good friends during the court process also.Divorce was completed,but now she is in contact with me regularly and almost everyday calls me.by her conversations,it seems she is very much regreting for ending the marriage .i don't know why she is in contact with me.please suggest what i need to do?i am very much confuse.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes people regret separation and divorce and living apart helps them with a different perspective to evaluate their decisions. Obviously there was an issue due to which the marriage ended; the reason may still exist and hence right now there is no question of getting back together until the point the two of you iron out differences and work on what ended your marriage.
But, take your time, process this event and if you feel that your marriage can have a second chance, do that only if you have healed and understood what went wrong the first time...Your wife also needs to be in the same place as you in terms of wanting to understand what exactly happened.
Also you don't exactly need to talk everyday and complicate your life...
Breathe, take a pause and live your life...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1772 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |710 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 17, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Hi Sir, My married life has been a complete disaster its been 1.8 yrs. Before marriage, I had only one past relationship. My husband repeatedly asked if I had any physical relationship before marriage. I denied it initially, and when I asked him about his past, he vaguely said he had dated three women for about three months each. Whenever I asked directly about physical involvement or even something as simple as kissing, he avoided the topic or changed the subject. On the first day of our arranged marriage, after intimacy, he said something that confused me. I was already scared and anxious. Later, when he asked me to share something I had never told anyone, I told him the truth—that my past relationship involved physical intimacy, and that it was forced, not by my choice. After that, his behavior completely changed. He stopped talking to me, even during our honeymoon. We were intimate only twice, but emotionally he was completely absent. I cried constantly. After returning home, he started avoiding me, leaving the house despite working from home. He verbally abused me, made derogatory comments about my character, and threatened to tell my parents and divorce me, accusing me of hiding my past. He even went on a Europe trip alone for 15 days, barely contacting me, which made me fear he was cheating. Due to constant fights and emotional abuse, I started looking into his past and discovered disturbing things—multiple physical relationships (8–9), emails linked to prostitutes, a banned Tinder account he tried to restore even after our engagement, and trips with an ex just days before our engagement. He called her “just a friend,” but the evidence said otherwise. I also found intimate photos and videos of his exes saved on his hard disk, even though they were many years old. Despite all this, he continued to accuse and defame me in front of his parents, saying I lied about my past, while he had never disclosed his own. What I saw and experienced has deeply scarred me, and I feel he never had any emotional attachment to me from the beginning. Ever since I told him the truth, he has shown no care, no empathy, and no love. I am left questioning—was I wrong to look into his past when I was being emotionally abused and accused? Or is he simply not the right person for me, someone who lacks emotional maturity, honesty, and compassion?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry you are in this situation. We can't control or change our past. You were with someone in your past because you believed things will work out with that person. That is completely normal. Whereas, your husband has been dragging his past relationships even after your engagement. It's completely different and borderline cheating. Please rethink whether you want to continue living like this. Confront him directly and show him the proof that you have found. Ask him if your past is so open to criticism, then what about his? Please have a direct and open conversation. A healthy marriage is based on trust and honesty.

Hope this helps.
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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |79 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 17, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I am a 35-year-old office-going husband living in Pune, India, and something confusing happened at home recently. My wife scolded me strongly after noticing multiple online payments, assuming I was wasting money irresponsibly. In reality, the spending was on anime subscriptions and collectibles, which I see as a harmless hobby and a way to relax after work, but I never clearly explained this to her. She feels the money should be saved for family needs, while I feel misunderstood and judged for something I enjoy. How can I talk calmly about money, personal interests, and boundaries so that disagreements do not turn into blame and emotional distance?
Ans: Hello sir. I hope you are in good health.
Hobbies are a very important part of our life which really help us to remain connected to ourselves. In today's world all are just after the social media and mobiles and they have taken the place of hobbies in most of our lives. I am really glad that you are following some of your hobbies.
Well coming to your problem, you can talk to your wife after deciding that x part of your income will be spend on your hobby. This way you ll be able to create boundaries and she will also understand that you are not spending extra money on your hobbies.
In addition to that, you take her into confidence that you are saving money for family also which is definitely most important.
I hope this solves your problem.
Take care
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My office friends Riya and Aman have been in a relationship for two years, but lately misunderstandings have increased because Aman feels ignored when plans are cancelled, while Riya feels stressed and unheard due to her work pressure. Instead of openly discussing their feelings, both remain silent, which creates emotional distance between them. In this situation, how can honest and respectful communication help them resolve their disagreement, and how can listening, patience, and understanding strengthen their relationship rather than weaken it?
Ans: Honest and respectful communication would help them because it brings hidden emotions into the open in a safe way. Right now, Aman feels unimportant when plans are cancelled, but he isn’t saying, “I miss you and I feel lonely when we don’t spend time together.” Instead, he stays quiet and likely feels rejected inside. Riya feels overwhelmed and unsupported, but she isn’t saying, “I’m under so much pressure and I need understanding, not disappointment.” So both are suffering silently and guessing each other’s intentions.
If they start speaking from their feelings rather than from blame, the tone of the relationship will change. For example, Aman can say, “When our plans change often, I feel disconnected from you,” instead of “You never make time for me.” Riya can say, “Work is draining me and sometimes I don’t have energy, but I still care about you,” instead of “You don’t understand my stress.” This kind of language opens hearts instead of creating defensiveness.
Listening is equally important. Many couples listen only to reply, not to understand. If Aman truly listens to Riya’s stress without interrupting or minimizing it, she will feel emotionally safe. If Riya listens to Aman’s need for time and reassurance without dismissing it, he will feel valued. Feeling heard is often more healing than any solution.
Patience matters because emotional habits don’t change overnight. They both need time to adjust to each other’s needs and rhythms. If one conversation doesn’t fix everything, that doesn’t mean it failed. It means they are learning how to connect better. Relationships grow stronger when partners stay patient during uncomfortable phases instead of withdrawing.
Understanding helps them see that neither is the enemy. Aman is not “needy,” he is seeking connection. Riya is not “careless,” she is overwhelmed. When they understand each other’s inner world, they stop taking things personally and start working as a team.
If they begin communicating honestly, listening with empathy, and responding with patience, their relationship will not weaken — it will deepen. Conflict handled with respect creates trust. Silence creates distance. Talking with care creates intimacy.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Hello Dr., Hope this mail finds you well ! I am married for the past 15 years with 2 daughters (13 & 8 yrs old) but my wife is very suspicious. From the day of our marriage till today she keeps accusing me of affairs while I never had any affairs. She keeps monitoring my mobile, whatsApp messages and laptop. In WhatsApp she has strange method, if I am online and if any other woman is online she thinks she is following me or I am messaging her. When I am on official travel she keeps calling me to check my location. I have to video call her and keep my phone ON in night when I go to bed. She suspects someone is in my room. She accuses me of having affair with any lady with whom I talk even to the extent of my sister in law. When I am working from Home she keeps the mobile phone with video ON to check what I am doing. When I go to my office I have to share my Location. She has got no evidences but still she is not able to understand me. Except for rare business travel I never go out except with my family. I do not have many friends and few which I have my wife has also accused me of having affairs with their wives. I ignore her behaviour but she also uses foul language and this is affecting me & my daughters. I consulterd few psycologists but it has not helped. I love my wife and like to help her but do not know how to handle this situation. Please advise.
Ans: I can hear that you love your wife and want to help her, and that is admirable. But love does not mean tolerating ongoing psychological control. More importantly, your daughters are growing up watching this dynamic. Children who witness constant suspicion and monitoring can internalize fear, mistrust, and unhealthy relationship models.
Your wife’s behavior sounds less like simple jealousy and more like severe insecurity or possibly paranoid thinking. When someone creates connections between random events — for example, “another woman is online at the same time so she must be messaging you” — that is not rational suspicion. It suggests deep anxiety or distorted thought patterns. This is not something you can fix through reassurance alone.
In fact, the more you comply with surveillance — video calls at night, sharing location, proving yourself repeatedly — the more you unintentionally reinforce her belief that suspicion is justified. You are feeding the cycle. Reassurance helps temporarily, but the suspicion returns stronger because the root issue is inside her, not in your behavior.
You need to shift from defending yourself to setting calm boundaries.
This does not mean shouting or threatening separation. It means saying something like: “I understand you feel anxious and I want to support you, but constant monitoring and accusations are hurting me and affecting our daughters. I will not continue video surveillance or location tracking. If you feel unsafe or anxious, we need professional help together.”
The key word is “together.” She may resist therapy because suspicious individuals often believe the problem is external, not internal. But couples therapy with someone experienced in paranoid jealousy or pathological suspicion is crucial. Regular psychologists sometimes miss the depth of such patterns. You may need a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist evaluation, especially if this behavior has lasted 15 years without change.
You also need to protect your own mental health. Living under constant accusation can cause anxiety, depression, and emotional numbness. It slowly erodes self-esteem. Consider individual therapy for yourself, not to fix her, but to strengthen your emotional boundaries and resilience.
Most importantly, do not isolate yourself further. Suspicious partners often push their spouses into social isolation. Maintain healthy friendships and professional relationships within reasonable boundaries.
Ask yourself gently: has her suspicion worsened over time? Has it extended into other areas of life? If so, this may be more than jealousy — it could be a mental health condition that requires medical support.
You cannot cure her insecurity through perfection. Even if you lock yourself in a room with no phone, the suspicion will find another story.
Your role is not to prove innocence endlessly. Your role is to protect your dignity, your daughters’ emotional safety, and encourage proper treatment.
I want to ask you something important: if nothing changes and this continues for another 10 years, what impact do you think it will have on your daughters’ understanding of marriage? That answer will guide your next step.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 20, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Hello I have just married 2 months back it was an arranged marriage during the courtship my husband often asked me for money which never returned even after marriage he continues to ask me for money with promise to return it on getting salary but has never given me a single money back few days ago he asked me ask my mother 10k saying it was for urgent need that he shall return it to my mother as soon as possible today my mother informed me that he had called her asking for 15k urging urgent matter behind my back what shall I do
Ans: What your husband is doing right now is breaking that basic trust.
Right now, you need clarity, not silence.
Have a calm but firm conversation with him as soon as possible. Choose a time when neither of you is angry. Tell him honestly: “I’m feeling disturbed and confused. You keep borrowing money from me and my mother, and it’s never returned. You also contacted my mother without telling me. This is hurting my trust. I need to understand what is really going on.”
Watch how he responds. A responsible partner will explain clearly, show records, admit mistakes, and make a concrete repayment plan. An irresponsible one will avoid, blame, get angry, or emotionally manipulate you.
Do not give him any more money until this is clarified. Not from your account, not from your family. Saying “no” is not disrespectful — it is self-protection.
Also, speak to your mother privately and ask her not to give him money directly without discussing it with you first. This is important, otherwise he may continue going behind your back.
Ask him directly about his finances. Does he have debts? Loans? Gambling habits? Business losses? Supporting someone else? You have the right to know. You are his wife, not his emergency fund.
If he refuses transparency, continues borrowing, or makes you feel guilty for asking questions, that is a red flag for financial abuse. It can grow worse over time if not stopped early.
You got married only two months ago. This is the right time to set boundaries. If you stay silent now, this pattern may become permanent.
You deserve a partner, not a burden.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2026Hindi
Relationship
76 year old male Indian North Indian Happily married Have a maid servant 28 years Has two sons Her marital life is un happy as her spouse is drunkard and abusive I feel attracted towards her A lot like love I start feeling jealous when she talks to other men. I have never been in love before But been married for 45 years. Successful business person It’s not just sexual attraction as this person is not attractive in true sense of the word But it’s the way she treats me and smiles. She’s just a maid. Maybe more. She’s intelligent and articulate. This love is doomed from day 1. But I am kinda enjoying. I just want to hug and kiss her.
Ans: What you are feeling is not about “love” in the romantic sense. It is about emotional connection, validation, and feeling seen at a stage of life where many people quietly feel invisible, lonely, or emotionally unfulfilled — even in long marriages. When someone younger shows warmth, respect, smiles, and listens, it can awaken feelings you have never experienced before. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human.
But it does mean you need to handle this with great responsibility.
There are three very important realities here.
First, there is a huge power imbalance. You are her employer, financially secure, respected, and much older. She is vulnerable — emotionally, financially, and socially. Her unhappy marriage makes her even more vulnerable. In such situations, feelings can easily get confused with safety, kindness, or dependency. Acting on your emotions, even with “just hugging or kissing,” would not be fair to her and could seriously harm her life.
Second, you are married for 45 years. Whatever difficulties may exist in your marriage, your wife has shared a lifetime with you. Acting on this attraction would betray that bond and could destroy your family’s peace, your reputation, and your own self-respect — things you have built over decades.
Third, this “enjoyment” you are feeling is temporary. It feels exciting now because it is new, forbidden, and emotionally stimulating. But it will not end well. It will lead to guilt, anxiety, fear of exposure, and emotional chaos — for you and for her.
Now let’s talk about what this feeling is really telling you.
You are craving emotional warmth, appreciation, and connection. You like how she makes you feel — respected, noticed, alive. That is the real need here. Not her. The feeling.
Instead of directing it toward someone unsafe, you need to bring that emotional energy back into your own life — toward your wife, your family, your interests, and yourself.
Here is what I strongly advise.
Create clear boundaries immediately. No flirting. No personal emotional sharing. No physical contact beyond basic courtesy. Keep the relationship strictly professional. This is protection — for both of you.
Do not confuse kindness with intimacy. You can be supportive and respectful without crossing lines.
Reconnect emotionally with your wife if possible. Share time, talk, travel, sit together, revive companionship. Many long marriages become emotionally silent, and people forget how much comfort is still there.
If you feel lonely, restless, or emotionally empty, consider speaking to a counselor. At this stage of life, many people go through emotional awakenings that are confusing. Talking helps bring clarity.
And most importantly, remember this: real love never puts another person at risk. Real dignity never depends on secrecy.
You are a successful man who has built a life. Don’t let a temporary emotional attraction weaken everything you’ve stood for.
You are strong enough to feel this — and strong enough to rise above it
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I'm tired of being shouted at in my own home. My husband yells at me over small things like food, household work, or how I talk to his parents. I try to stay quiet and then something else he does triggers it even worse. What should I do to control my temper and reaction?
Ans: You’re trying to “control your temper” because somewhere inside, you’ve been made to feel that if you were calmer, quieter, more patient, things would be better. But the truth is, no amount of silence or adjustment can make constant yelling healthy. When someone keeps raising their voice over small matters, it reflects their poor emotional regulation, not your failure.
That said, learning to manage your reactions is still important — not to tolerate mistreatment, but to protect your own mental health and communicate more effectively.
In the moment when he starts shouting, your body goes into stress mode. Your heart races, your thoughts become sharp, and it becomes hard to stay calm. One simple practice is to pause your response. Take two slow breaths before speaking. Even a few seconds can prevent the situation from escalating. You can quietly say, “I will talk when you speak calmly,” and step away if possible. This is not running away — it is setting a boundary.
Outside of conflict moments, try to have a calm conversation. Choose a time when neither of you is angry. Tell him how his shouting affects you, using “I” statements: “I feel hurt and scared when you raise your voice. It makes me shut down. I want us to talk respectfully, even when we disagree.” Focus on your feelings, not on accusing him.
At the same time, work on strengthening yourself emotionally. Spend time on things that make you feel confident and valued — hobbies, friends, work, prayer, exercise, anything that reminds you that you are more than just a wife trying to keep peace. The stronger you feel inside, the less his anger will shake you.
If he is willing, suggest counseling or anger management support. Many people shout because they never learned healthier ways to express frustration. Help is possible, but only if he accepts it.
If he refuses to change and the shouting becomes constant, abusive, or threatening, please take that seriously. Emotional abuse is real, even without physical harm. You deserve a home where you feel safe and respected.
Remember: controlling your temper does not mean swallowing your pain. It means learning to respond with strength, clarity, and self-respect instead of fear or explosion.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi
Relationship
During the school annual function, my child came home excited with a colorful slam book given by classmates. While flipping through it together, I noticed pages filled with questions about crushes, best friends, secrets, and personal likes. My child seemed happy but also a little secretive, quickly closing some pages and saying, “Everyone in school is filling this.” As a parent, I understand it’s part of school fun and bonding, but I also worry about privacy, peer pressure, and whether some questions are too personal for this age. How should I guide my child about filling a slam book safely without spoiling their innocence or excitement?
Ans: What you’re noticing is actually a very healthy sign — your child feels safe enough to share excitement with you, but is also beginning to develop a sense of privacy and individuality. That’s a normal and important stage of growing up. Slam books are part of childhood bonding, curiosity, and social connection, and for many children they feel like a “secret world” of friendships. So the goal is not to control it, but to guide it gently.
The most important thing is to keep the tone light and non-judgmental. If you react with worry or restrictions, your child may start hiding things instead of sharing. Instead, show interest. You might say something like, “This looks fun. When I was young, we had things like this too. What do you like most about it?” This keeps the door open for conversation.
Then, slowly introduce the idea of choice and safety. Help your child understand that they never have to answer anything that feels uncomfortable. You can explain in a simple way: “Some questions are just for fun, and some are very personal. It’s okay to skip any question you don’t like or write something simple.” This teaches boundaries without creating fear.
You can also talk about privacy in a practical way. Let them know that once something is written, many people might read it, so it’s better not to share secrets, phone numbers, passwords, or anything they wouldn’t want others to know. Frame this as smart thinking, not as danger.
About crushes and “secrets,” remember that curiosity about feelings is normal. You don’t need to interrogate or correct it. You can say gently, “Everyone grows up having different feelings. You don’t have to put them in a book if you don’t want to.” This reassures them that their inner world is respected.
Another helpful approach is to turn it into a shared activity once, if they’re comfortable. You can fill a page together playfully, showing how to give fun but safe answers. For example, for a “secret” you might write, “I love chocolate” or “I like cartoons.” This models how to keep things light.
Most importantly, keep building emotional safety. Let your child know they can always come to you if something in school makes them confused, pressured, or uncomfortable. When children feel emotionally secure at home, they handle peer pressure much better outside.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I have a huge crush on my boyfriend's father. He is actually his stepfather and pretty young, 42. I am 26 and every time we meet I feel like there is an emotional and romantic connection. I used to casually flirt with him and tell him that he looks handsome. My BF also knows that I secretly like his company. I don't have a mother-in-law so there is no threat or pressure. She passed away 2 years ago and acc to my BF, she'd married her business colleague so he can take care of the business they built together. Now I am confused about my feelings. I don't want to dismiss my feelngs. I have never felt this way before with anyone else.
Ans: Let’s first look at this with clarity and kindness toward yourself. Attraction is not always about wanting a relationship. Sometimes it comes from admiration, feeling seen, feeling emotionally understood, or being drawn to someone’s confidence, maturity, or presence. In your case, this man is older, emotionally steady, has life experience, and may treat you with warmth and respect. Those qualities can feel very powerful, especially if they are missing or inconsistent elsewhere in your life.
But there are three realities you cannot ignore.
First, he is your boyfriend’s father figure. That creates a permanent emotional and ethical boundary. Crossing it — even emotionally — would cause deep harm, not just to your boyfriend, but to the entire family system. Even if nothing “physical” ever happens, emotional closeness or flirting in this context is already risky.
Second, you are currently in a relationship. If you are emotionally drawn to someone else, especially someone so close to your partner, it’s a sign that something inside you needs attention. Either you are craving more emotional connection, validation, excitement, or security than you’re getting — or you are going through a phase of self-discovery where your needs are shifting. This is not about blaming you; it’s about understanding yourself honestly.
Third, the fact that he has not crossed boundaries and seems to remain appropriate is important. It suggests he understands the responsibility of his role. That’s something to respect, not test.
Right now, the healthiest thing you can do is create emotional distance and clear boundaries. That doesn’t mean being rude. It means no flirting, no special emotional sharing, no seeking private moments. Keep interactions polite, warm, and public. This protects you, your boyfriend, and your future.
You also need to gently turn inward and ask yourself:
What am I really feeling here? Is it attraction, or is it admiration? Is it romance, or is it emotional safety? Is there something missing in my relationship that I’m unconsciously trying to fill?
If you find that your feelings for your boyfriend are weakening, that’s something you owe yourself and him to explore honestly. It doesn’t mean you must break up immediately. It means you need clarity before continuing.
Please understand this: acting on these feelings — even slightly — would almost certainly lead to regret, guilt, and broken trust. What feels exciting now would become very painful later.
You don’t need to “dismiss” your feelings. You need to understand them, respect their message, and then choose wisely what to do with them.
Strong people are not those who never feel tempted. They are those who know when not to act on temptation.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |710 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1772 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I'm male on the verge of completing 32 years ... Doing currently md from prestigious medical college and completed my mbbs from topmost medical institute in india... I'm into relationship for almost about 5 years when se was 20 and I was 27 ... I know there is a age gap of 7 years but we never felt that there is a age gap between us.. currently her age is 25 years ... We both loved each other ... Her parents is very conservative and from orthodox family .. i know that majority have those mindset and I can't blame it by saying derogatory words like narrow mindset and very cheap thinking even in my family some members have conservative mindset ... So when I don't call my family members by using derogatory then why I am to use cuss words about them also... Khair ... Baat yeh tha ma'am aapse ki mere andar hichkhichat bilkul nhi h lekin bs thoda sa nervousness feel ho rha ki apni baat ko kaise samne rkhe ... Hm toh khud yeh chahenge ji woh bhi samay le apna kyuki apni ghar ki Lakshmi apni jaan se bhi pyari ladki ko kisi ko saupne ki baat h .. lekin hm dono different caste se h ... We both belong to obc but having different communities or caste whatever you say ma'am .. ma'am aapse bs yahi puchna chahte h ki aap hme kya suggestion de skti h agar dena ho toh... Apni kabiliyat pe bharosa h unko hm smjha skte h apni financial stability bta ke apne chizo ko honestly aur transparently rkhte hue lekin phir bhi halka sa dar lgta h ki kai woh na maane toh... Dhanyawad aapka meri baato ko padhne aur smjhne ke liye..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Financial stability ho toh bahut kuch aasaani se suljhaaya jaa sakta hai.
Apni mann ki baat apne parents aur ladki ke parents ke saamne rakhna; ab ya toh maan jaayenge ya toh bawaal mach sakta hai...
Par agar aapko lagta hai ki koi bhi samasya saame aaye toh aap aur ladki dono milke suljhaa paaoge, toh befikr hoke unhe sab bataa dena. Kuch dino tak shaayad naarza bhi rahein, kabhi na kabhi maan jaayenge yeh mere maanna hai...par kuch aisi communities hoti hain jahaan doosre caste mein koi baat nahin uthaate shaadi ka. Mere sujhaav phir yeh hoga ki aap jisse bahut kareeb ho ghar mein unse pehle baat karein taaki koi toh hohga aapke saath...uske baad poori family ko is baat ka khulaasa karein...ladke wale ladki aur uske pariwaar ke baare mein janna chahenge toh yeh baat acche se jaan lijiye...
Dekhiye aage hota hai kya!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I am an educated girl from Mumbai – but due to health issues I had lot of trouble finding a right partner for marriage. I do think that I married down but he was OK with my health challenges and himself does not have as many problems as me. I knew our compatibility could be a concern given our difference in upbringing (families are very different, plus he has lot of childhood trauma) and principles, but I really wanted someone who is working and educated, if not equal, to me. After 5 years of marriage, I regret this decision each day since he is not the person I thought I would get married to. But I always have to look over all his negatives since he has accepted me despite my flaws. Very rarely he brings it up, and friends family who know my situation, always ask me to look at the brighter side of the relationship – that he is caring and does respect me despite my disability. But for how long can I go on like this? I know no relationship is perfect. But because of our emotional struggles, there is lack of trust, intimacy or any form of bonding in this marriage. We do not share our finances or plan a kid either. I am worried about leaving him because being alone scares me – but he is someone who really does not care. I can cry self to sleep or disappear for few days, he really does not care. If I get divorced, my family may still accept me, but I personally am a person who would shun being social and feel like an outlier. Plus being alone really scares me. What do I do?
Ans: The first mistake you made was settling for him, because as you put it, he “accepted” you. You’re not some cracked vase at Westside that was to be given away at a discount! You have to decide now whether you want to spend the rest of your life unhappily married or are brave enough to go it alone. And who says disabled people don’t fall in love? There are many success stories out there and great people out there. Your marriage is an arrangement that is not working out for you — think about it. You don’t have children to complicate matters, and it’s still possible for you to find a life partner who doesn’t think of your health issues as a burden that isn’t worth bearing. But if not, you should be content with being single and that is your choice alone. Also you say he is caring an then say he doesn’t care — what am I missing here?
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I am ready to stand against my parents for the boy I love, but he isn’t willing to stand up to his family. We are both Hindus but our customs, language and rituals are very different from each other. Since the time we started dating, I have tried to give up on my choices for the sake of our happiness. He proposed to me last year after dating for 12 years. I said yes. Now he wants me to convince his parents. He is 29, the eldest son of the family but he feels his parents will not agree for our marriage. His entire family is against us. His mother won't even look at me, forget sit down and talk. I told him we'll have a court marriage and live separate but he wants me to convince his family. If he doesn't take responsibility now, how can I expect him to stand up for me in the future?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you serious? He happily got into a relationship with you BUT now wants to hide when it's time to talk to his parents.
He's 29 and as a mature adult you must learn to understand that until marriage it's his responsibility to not just talk to his parents but also find a way to make you and his parents meet.
Instead, he chooses to hide or he's scared? Do push him gently into his responsibilities and if you catch him delaying talking to his parents, then understand that he has a personality that avoids conflicts especially with his parents. Do imagine what it can be for you once you are married into that house.
Have an honest chat with him; love is not always roses and candles...straight and honest talk is always better before taking that big step.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My family is pressurising me to get married to a girl I am not interested in. I am 36 and the girl is 28. I am traditional, old school and she looks younger, the partying, late night kinds. She is very active on social media. In fact, she was very judgemental about my clothes and totally non-committed about relationships when we spoke in our first meeting. I can say with confidence that our vibes don't match but my parents don't seem to understand my expectations. There was no formal engagement but my parents are proceeding with the marriage formalities because our parents are business partners. They feel I am overthinking and overreacting. I feel like no one is listening to me, what I want, including my grandparents. What should I do? I want to run away from all this drama.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concern and how difficult it is sometimes to convince family members about our feelings. Please have one on one conversations with your parents. Instead of sitting with both parents, speak to them individually. Ask them direct questions based on realistic examples, like, “She enjoys partying and I don’t. What if that leads to a huge fight and in the end, divorce?” “What if we never love each other and stay in an unhappy marriage?” This might help them imagine the situation a little better. Next, speak to the girl. Ask her what she feels about this marriage, if she would be able to adjust and eventually love you. Ask her if she is okay with a lifetime of adjustment and compromise. Have an honest conversation; don’t try to convince her to break the marriage, rather have a clear discussion and see how she feels about this honestly. I am sure this will help you in the situation.

Hope this helps.
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Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jan 23, 2026

Relationship
i am 42 yrs married and i married before 15yrs.My spouse cheated me before our marriage, she had a relationship with one guy.. that time i also asked her abt this guy but she not told me anything. and second day of my marriage i came to know that she cheated me.i completely broke down and i told her don't leave with me. go to your home. but she said i didn't know how this happened and i was very sorry for my mistake and i will never do it again in my life.. now its almost 15 yrs went away but still i unable to forgot what she done with me. we have two kids. Since the day i warned her before 15 yrs still today she listen everything i want, every words, whatever she want to do she always took my permission. but still i unable to forgot her past. she cheated me that time... whenever i thought abt her i felt nervous and its effect on work.. what should i do
Ans: Hello sir. I hope you are in good health.
Talking about your life, i would like to tell you one thing. Whatever your wife did it was before marriage. It was not after marriage . So it cannot be taken as cheating.
Secondly, she accepted and promised that she ll not do it again and she kept her promise.
Thirdly as per you she takes your permission wherever she goes, she informs you everything. All this she is doing just to regain trust. I think you should forget the past.
Holding on to past will bring you nothing. Pain and problems badhengi kam nahi hongi. Apne bacho pe, apni family pe and apne kaam pe dhyan de and apni life enjoy kare.
I hope this solves the problem
Take care!
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Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jan 23, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My boyfriend's mom is very possessive. Whenever we are together she finds a reason to interrupt or call him away from me. When we go out, she constantly checks on where he is, what we are doing, and how long we will be together. I feel like there is too much interference. He is 31, I am 27. We are both financially independent. But there is no space for us to build our relationship without his mom being involved in our lives. I understand her concern as a mother, but this level of control makes me feel invisible and sidelined. I'm worried how this will affect our relationship if we continue and take it to the future?
Ans: Hello mam..I hope you are fine. Well, coming to your problem mam. We live in a country where it is considered very normal to interfere in each other's life. Be it siblings or children or for that matter anyone. So as per our society this behaviour is very normal for your boyfriend's mother. But on the other hand, in this era this generation is somewhat more independent and don't like interference. If she is interfering too much, your boyfriend should also feel this and he is the only one who can draw boundaries and can ask his mother to stop being controlling.
You should not directly hit this on your boyfriend. Rather talk to him regarding this in a very polite and convincing manner so that he can take care of the matter. But if he feels that her mother's behaviour is ok then also you need to discuss and convince him about your privacy. If you want to take this relationship further then you need to correct the things beforehand.
I hope this solves your problem.
Take care
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Is a joint family better than living separate? My boyfriend is a Gujarati who has always lived in a joint family. He is 32 and they do business together as a family. That's a tradition for over 80 years now. Every one has separate rooms, businesses. But they prefer and try to have one meal together. I am 27, an MBA from a Tamil family. I have cousins and grandparents but we have always been a nuclear family travelling betweeen Mumbai and Pune. I have a younger sister who lives with my parents in Pune. I find the concept of joint family too overwhelming. I am okay to meet them during festivals but living in the same house with so many people is making me uncomfortable. I love my BF so much that I might just agree to make him happy but deep inside I know I will regret the decision. I feel it is so unfair that I have to choose between following his tradition and my comfort and peace. He doesn't mind if I eat non veg outside the house. There are no other discomfort or disagreement areas apart from this. His parents have accepted me as their daughter and I find it hard to tell them I want to live separate. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, maybe this could have been a criterion to discuss if you had thought of an arranged marriage. But with choosing your life partner, there's always going to be things that will stare you down that you might not be willing to accept.
But well, one can't have it all; I highly doubt that your boyfriend is going to be the one to disturb an age-old tradition and you surely do not want to be the one who is blamed for him breaking that tradition, yeah?
So, I guess it's a 'sit-down' time where the two of you talk about this very important situation. There is a value system clash and this could be a potential cause for unwanted rifts in future if either of you compromises. So, iron this out before you take take that leap into marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
(more)
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