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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |725 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 08, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |725 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 08, 2026

Relationship
Hello sir, I am in It head positioning in ming company. This is about my real-life problem sharing with you.I have a beautiful and working wife. Also 2 growing sons.1 is 15 yrs another is 5 yrs.when my little son borne nobody is there to taking care of him.My wife requested onf of distance relatiove please help us.She agreed to send her middle daughter who was 22 yrs at that time.She came & take care of my little son along with us.Their family background was not good.So we help their family in fanicaily also standing with them in every sitautaion.Our both family was good term at that time.Slowly she came to close my heart.We share each other very personal things each other.Due to my wife working in govt school we share very much time mentally & physically each other.Every situation she stands with me and my family.Even my wife not have doubt us.because she has very much faith us.After 4 years their family told us we are looking a boy for her and she will going to marriage to him.That girl told us she will will nt left me& cried.I told him have a family I can’t keep you as my wife.But our relationship will stay forvever.You please agree in this proposal. After so many conversation she agreed. We both husband & wife give her family & her like financially & demand from bride home.After her marriage she called me 5-6 times a day we talked we laughed we cried etc etc.But after some days some misunderstanding situation created which give us stop talking with her.So my wife was not talking with her.But loves her as a elder syster.But after another some days due to my negligency my wife caught some my personal chat both of us.My wife cried and cried due to so many faith of us.she send some chat to that girl.I make my wife understand that it was my mistake and will never repeat again.I stopped talk to her but she tried to talk with me but I avoide some time.I have all accees with her mail,insta,fb.After 1 month I checked her insta ,she is keeping busy with another guy with her village area whom I know her before.I had warning before some years that you keep distance from him,I have broken inside with heavy heart.i cried ,I have given every thing to her but she betrayed me. She cheat me even her husband.I have so many evidence against her.she knows everything.so she threatening you will vanished.you will be finished.I have also told her same language.But I love her .I cheat my wife family for her.I want to forget her and my memory with her.Please help me,how do I recover.
Ans: Dear Priyadarshi,
I understand that you are heartbroken, but from an ethical point of view, you stand equally guilty. Imagine how exactly your wife must be feeling. I want to console you but I am not sure how. At this point, all I can say is put your focus on your wife, the mother of your children and your actual family. If your marriage seems weak, go for couple's counseling, or else leave things respectfully. What's happening right now is extremely disrespectful to all parties, and I urge you to also ensure that your children don't get dragged into this. Please focus on your family.

Best wishes.
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Relationship
Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |82 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on May 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I’ve noticed that I tend to overthink almost everything my partner says or does, even when it’s something small. For example, if their tone sounds slightly different on a call or if they reply late to a message, I immediately start wondering if something is wrong or if I’ve upset them. Even a short or casual reply makes me replay the conversation again and again in my head, trying to find hidden meanings. Because of this, I sometimes end up feeling anxious or upset without any clear reason, and later I realize I might have overreacted. It’s becoming mentally exhausting and also affecting how I behave with my partner. I don’t want to keep doubting or overanalyzing every little thing, but I’m finding it hard to stop this pattern. How do I control this habit of overthinking and learn to take things more normally in a relationship?
Ans: Hello mam..i hope you are in the best spirits of your health. Mam, overthinking is a very common thing these days and it really affects one's life. As you said that you are having this habit of overthinking and it is affecting your life and your relationships too. There are lot of ups and downs in any relationship, and overthinking worsens it. Here are some tips that you can follow for overthinking.

01. Acceptance: Accept and label that you are overthinking and say it loud. Then give yourself a 5 min timeline to overthink. That's all. After that no overthinking. Soon your mind will get trained.

02. Practice Mindfulness: Ask your mind to comeback in present the very moment you feel that you are overthinking. Shift your focus on practical things like your phone charging, changing tv channel, doing hobby or activity which interests you.

03. Journaling: Shift your thoughts on a paper. It really helps to de-fog your mind and then thinking will be more logical and clear.

04. Box breathing - On the count of 4 inhale, on the count for 4 hold your breath and on the count of 4 exhale.

Don't take everything to your heart. Have confidence in yourself. Don't think that you have done anything wrong. Overthinking can happen to anyone but important is how to control that.

I hope this helps you. Have a great day..Thank you !
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Relationship
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |725 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 05, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - May 04, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 04, 2026

Relationship
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |725 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My husband shares everything with his best friend. I understand they are close but I am not comfortable when he shares stuff and private bedroom conversations. Once he was joking about something deeply private I had only told my husband. While I respect friendships, I am uncomfortable when there there is no boundary between his friendship and our marriage. The last time i mentioned this, he said his friendship is older than our marriage and I am overthinking and creating unecessary stress. How do I talk to my husband about this without creating conflict?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are not overthinking. Wanting privacy about your relationship is a reasonable boundary. His friendship might be older than your marriage, your consent to share sensitive information which involves you still applies. And friendship and marriage are two different things, and each has its own place.

The best solution to this situation is to have a conversation, the right time, right place and right way. Pick a time when both of you are calm and relaxed. Frame the conversation around trust, not control. If it sounds like you are asking him to choose marriage over friendship, he might get defensive. So, highlight your emotional safety instead of sounding accusatory that he is making you feel a certain way. Be specific about your boundaries: bedroom talks are off limits, or personal insecurities should not be shared outside of the marriage. Everyone needs someone to vent to, and talking to friends is okay, but not when it makes your partner uncomfortable. Acknowledge that he needs to talk to someone about things, but remain firm about your boundaries. If he still brushes it off, let him know that joking about your private matters hurt your deeply. If nothing else works, I really suggest marriage counseling. Sometimes people need to hear the hard things from others, instead of their partner, to understand it's validity.

Hope this helps.
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Relationship
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |725 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My wife posts everything on social media. Earlier she used to post about food and travel and our kids. Now if we have a fight or argument, she turns it into a funny reel or feminism post and everyone on her feed starts commenting. I am not on social media but when we meet socially, our common friends have started making fun of me like I am the villain. She calls herself an influencer and says it is helping her reach a wider audience. I told her she shouldn't post without my permission and it is leading to big arguments. I feel it is unfair. What should I do? Please help me sir
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand where you are coming from; it's not just the post. It's about your private life being turned into public content and mockery. Your reaction is valid and yes, it is unfair. I understand her interest in building an online presence, but it has to be separated from your right to privacy. Start with a calm conversation about this; express, verbally, how her posts make you feel. Instead of saying, "You can't post about is," try saying, "When our problems become content, it hurts the relationship and me." Or, you can say, "I am so happy that you are making content, but not when it involves our problems." It's the best way to frame the expression without sounding accusatory. Be clear about your boundaries: no posts about private matters, and consent is key. Give her real-word examples, like how your friends mock you. Try to keep the conversation as less accusatory as possible, to avoid a bigger conflict. Start with communicating your feelings.

Best Wishes
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Relationship
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 26, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Hi, I love both my parents and my boyfriend. But my parents just cant seem to accept the fact that i have a boyfriend. At almost every stage in life, be it career, relationships, i am standing at the line and choosing whether i should choose myself and do what i want to do or should i choose what my parents say. I know they mean well for me and they want my good, but is it always have to be that way? Why do i always have to choose? I am sick and tired of hiding things from my parents but if i don't, they will intrude in my life and then everything goes haywire. is it too much too ask for acceptance? and even if i choose myself at any given time, there is this guilt of disobeying my parents that eats me alive. I am really at the threshold here.
Ans: You don’t actually want to choose between your parents and your boyfriend.
You want both love and autonomy. And that is a fair need.
The reason it feels so heavy is because you’ve been conditioned to believe that choosing yourself means hurting your parents. So even when you do something right for your life, it comes with guilt.
But here’s the shift you need to make:
You’re not choosing against your parents.
You’re choosing for your life.
Right now, hiding is draining you because it keeps you stuck in fear. But being fully open without boundaries leads to interference. So the balance is this:
Be honest, but don’t hand over control.
You can say:
“I respect your opinion, but I need to make my own decisions about my life.”
They may not like it immediately. They may react emotionally. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong—it just means they’re adjusting.
The real work for you is learning to sit with that guilt without giving in to it. Because that guilt is not a signal that you’re doing something wrong—it’s a sign that you’re doing something new.
You don’t have to stop loving your parents.
You just have to stop losing yourself to keep them comfortable.
That’s the line you’re learning to walk right now.
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Relationship
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 26, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I miss privacy after marriage. I moved in to my husband's house after our marriage last year. But but adjusting to a joint family has been harder than I expected. There is always someone around so I have to dress appropriately. Relatives walk into our bedroom without knocking. Their rules are very different from ours. I have grown up with a lot of independence in what I wear, eat etc. Here, I have to cook at least one meal, sometimes for unexpected guests and compromise over what I eat. I moved in hoping to live with and love his family, but this lack of personal space and independence is making me irritable and anxious. Our thoughts and principles don't match. My husband has taken a huge loan to buy this house, so he will not agree to move out. How do I talk to my husband about how I feel trapped here?
Ans: What you’re experiencing feels overwhelming because it’s new to you, not because it is “wrong” in itself. In many joint families, things like shared spaces, open movement in the house, less privacy, and collective responsibilities are quite normal. People grow up with that system, so for them it doesn’t feel intrusive—it feels like family closeness.
At the same time, you come from a background where privacy, independence, and personal boundaries were natural, so the contrast feels like a loss. Both realities are valid. Neither is completely right or wrong—they are just different value systems.

This is also something that ideally should be discussed before marriage, but since it wasn’t, you are now learning and adjusting in real time—which is understandably difficult.

Now the goal is not to reject the joint family system or force yourself to accept everything silently. The goal is to find a middle ground where you can function without losing yourself.

When you talk to your husband, acknowledge his reality too. That will make him more open to hearing you. You can say something like:
“I understand this is how your family has always lived, and I respect that. But for me this is very new, and I’m struggling to adjust to the lack of personal space. I don’t want to disrespect anyone, but I also need some space to feel comfortable.”

This way, you are not attacking his family—you are explaining your adjustment challenge.

Also, instead of expecting a complete change, focus on small, realistic adjustments:
A basic level of privacy in your room (like knocking)
Some flexibility in daily expectations
Clear communication about responsibilities

In joint families, change usually doesn’t happen suddenly—it happens gradually and through understanding, not confrontation.

And one important mindset shift for you:
Adjustment doesn’t mean losing yourself completely.
But it also doesn’t mean expecting the environment to become exactly like your old life.

You are now learning how to live between two worlds.

If both you and your husband handle this with patience and respect, it can become manageable. If either side becomes rigid, then it starts feeling like suffocation.

So your task is not to “fit in perfectly,”
but to adapt without disappearing.
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Relationship
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 26, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 12, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I am 38 year old female and my husband 39 yrs old . We got married 13 years before and we were in 10 years love relationship before marriage . Totally 23 years together .we have 2 sons , 1 is 10 yr old and 2 is 1.5 yr old . My husband is not interested or he is not getting any sexual sense at all. It’s been 2 years he didn’t touch me , he says his mind is not thinking about it and not getting any sensation . 2 years before , we had issues about his relationship with a women , he says its friendship and few instances has broken my trust and he hasn’t regained it back or never tried to fix it . He says in words but never saw his efforts to make me trust again . For 2 years am in mental trauma and confusion only whether he is saying truth or not , whether that women is friend or different . Whether he s cheating me or not . Very few activites gives me doubts to think that he s cheating rest all he s normal , goes for work and come home ... We are sleeping is same bed now for past 1.5 years after my second day. Born . Some time he sleeps with me in bed cuddling and kissing .. but nothing is intimate and nothing feels closer emotionally to him ... I dunno wat to do with him . I get w dual desire often and get rejected by him and all th time he blames me or underrate me to talk about sex . Also he scolds me that am having more sexual thoughts . I dunno what to do as if I talk calmly. He takes it to peak , if I demand , he rejects . Watever I try he rejects .. never gave a proper reason .... I dunno how to live like this ??
Ans: First, let me say this clearly: your desire is normal. Wanting intimacy, closeness, and a sexual connection with your husband is not “too much” or “wrong.” Being repeatedly rejected and then blamed for it can slowly damage your self-worth, and that’s what you’re feeling now.
But we need to separate a few things to understand what’s really happening.
Your husband’s lack of sexual interest for 2 years is not something to ignore. It could be due to multiple reasons—stress, hormonal changes, mental health issues, guilt, unresolved emotional conflict, or even disconnection from the relationship itself. But the real concern is not just the lack of sex—it’s that he avoids the conversation, shuts you down, and turns it back on you.
That creates a cycle where:
You feel rejected → you try to connect → he withdraws or blames → you feel worse → trust breaks further.
On top of this, there is unresolved trust damage from his past involvement with another woman. Even if he calls it “friendship,” the fact that it broke your trust and was never repaired properly means that wound is still open. Without rebuilding trust, emotional closeness cannot return—and without emotional closeness, physical intimacy often disappears.
Right now, you are living in three layers of pain:
You feel unwanted physically
You feel unsure emotionally
You feel unheard when you try to talk
That’s why it feels like you’re stuck.
Now, what can you realistically do?
You cannot force desire.
You cannot beg for intimacy.
And you cannot rebuild trust alone.
But you can change how you approach this.
Instead of focusing only on sex, shift the conversation to the relationship itself. At a calm moment, not during rejection, speak very directly but without blame:
“I am not just missing physical intimacy. I am feeling emotionally disconnected, rejected, and confused. I don’t want to fight, I want to understand what is happening between us.”
Watch his response carefully. Not just words, but willingness.
If he continues to deny, blame, or avoid, then this is no longer just a “sexual issue.” It becomes a relationship issue that requires intervention.
At this stage, a mature step would be to suggest couples counseling or medical evaluation. Frame it as “us” not “you.”
Because if he truly has no desire at all, he should be open to understanding why.
And if he refuses even that, then you have to face a difficult truth:
You are trying to sustain a relationship where your needs are consistently dismissed.
Also, gently reflect on something important:
Do you feel emotionally safe with him anymore, or are you constantly second-guessing and shrinking yourself?
Because intimacy doesn’t return in an environment of doubt, fear, and blame.
You have given 23 years to this relationship.
You deserve clarity, respect, and emotional connection—not confusion and rejection.
You don’t need to decide everything today.
But you do need to stop normalising this pain.
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Relationship
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 26, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I am in love with a 42 yr old woman. She is a divorcee with a teenage daughter. We plan to get married by the end of this year. The one disagreement we have is about kids. She feels she is too old to have another kid. How do I convince her that age has nothing to do if you are healthy and fit to be a parent?
Ans: This is not a topic where one partner “wins” the argument. Having a child, especially at 42, is not just about willingness—it’s about her body, her health, her energy, and her life stage. Age does matter medically and practically. Pregnancy at 42 carries higher risks, and even if someone is fit, it is still a more demanding journey physically and emotionally.
So if she is saying she doesn’t want a child, she is not being negative—she is being realistic and self-aware.
Now the real question is not “how do I convince her,” but
can you accept her decision if it doesn’t change?
Because this is a fundamental life choice. If you want a child strongly and she does not, this difference won’t disappear after marriage—it will grow.
Instead of convincing, have a mature conversation:
Tell her honestly why having a child matters to you—not as pressure, but as a life desire. Then listen to her reasons fully—without trying to counter them. Ask her what she fears, what she has already considered, and what her limits are.
There are also middle paths you can explore together—like medical consultation to understand real risks, or even alternatives like adoption. But these should come from mutual agreement, not persuasion.
Love is not about changing someone on such a fundamental decision.
It is about asking: can we build a life together as we are?
If you can accept a future without a child with her, then move forward.
If you cannot, it’s better to face that truth now rather than after marriage.
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Relationship
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 26, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 26, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Hi Maam, My married life has been a complete disasterits been 1.8 yrs. Before marriage, I had only one past relationship. My husband repeatedly asked if I had any physical relationship before marriage. I denied it initially, and when I asked him about his past, he vaguely said he had dated three women for about three months each. Whenever I asked directly about physical involvement or even something as simple as kissing, he avoided the topic or changed the subject. On the first day of our arranged marriage, after intimacy, he said something that confused me. I was already scared and anxious. Later, when he asked me to share something I had never told anyone, I told him the truth—that my past relationship involved physical intimacy, and that it was forced, not by my choice. After that, his behavior completely changed. He stopped talking to me, even during our honeymoon. We were intimate only twice, but emotionally he was completely absent. I cried constantly. After returning home, he started avoiding me, leaving the house despite working from home. He verbally abused me, made derogatory comments about my character, and threatened to tell my parents and divorce me, accusing me of hiding my past. He even went on a Europe trip alone for 15 days, barely contacting me, which made me fear he was cheating. Due to constant fights and emotional abuse, I started looking into his past and discovered disturbing things—multiple physical relationships (8–9), emails linked to prostitutes, a banned Tinder account he tried to restore even after our engagement, and trips with an ex just days before our engagement. He called her “just a friend,” but the evidence said otherwise. I also found intimate photos and videos of his exes saved on his hard disk, even though they were many years old. Despite all this, he continued to accuse and defame me in front of his parents, saying I lied about my past, while he had never disclosed his own. What I saw and experienced has deeply scarred me, and I feel he never had any emotional attachment to me from the beginning. Ever since I told him the truth, he has shown no care, no empathy, and no love. I am left questioning—was I wrong to look into his past when I was being emotionally abused and accused? Or is he simply not the right person for me, someone who lacks emotional maturity, honesty, and compassion?
Ans: What you have described is not a small marital conflict—it is a serious breach of trust, emotional safety, and dignity.
Let’s look at this with clarity, not emotion alone.
You entered this marriage with hesitation, fear, and eventually honesty. You disclosed something deeply personal, and importantly, something that involved lack of consent. In a healthy partnership, that moment should have been met with empathy, protection, and maturity. Instead, it was met with judgment, withdrawal, and later, humiliation. That is not a difference of opinion—that is a failure of emotional responsibility.
At the same time, your husband’s conduct shows a clear pattern of double standards. He withheld his own past, avoided transparency, and yet demanded complete disclosure from you. When he later accused and defamed you, despite his own undisclosed history, it indicates not confusion but control and moral inconsistency.
Your decision to look into his past did not arise in isolation. It came after sustained emotional distress, repeated accusations, and a breakdown of trust. In such circumstances, people seek evidence not out of curiosity, but out of a need to anchor themselves in reality. So no, it was not ideal—but it was understandable. More importantly, it is not the central issue.
The central issue is this:
You are in a relationship where your vulnerability has been used against you, your character has been questioned, and your emotional needs have been consistently disregarded.
Also note his behavioral responses—avoidance, verbal aggression, solo travel without communication, maintaining explicit material from past relationships, and involving his parents in a way that damages your dignity. These are not isolated incidents. They reflect emotional immaturity, lack of accountability, and poor boundaries.
So the real question is not “Was I wrong?”
The real question is: Is this a relationship that offers mutual respect, psychological safety, and the possibility of repair?
Marriage can survive difficult truths, even past experiences—but only when both partners are willing to engage with honesty, empathy, and accountability. At present, there is no indication that he is willing to do that.
Before taking any decision, it would be wise to step back and stabilise yourself emotionally. Consider individual counselling, not to fix the marriage, but to regain clarity and strength. If there is any attempt to continue this relationship, it must involve structured intervention—such as couples therapy—with clear expectations around respect, truthfulness, and boundaries.
But equally, you must allow yourself to acknowledge a difficult possibility:
Sometimes, the issue is not what went wrong in the marriage.
It is whether the person you are with is capable of sustaining a healthy one.
You were not wrong for having a past.
You were not wrong for telling the truth.
And you are not wrong for expecting dignity in your marriage.
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Relationship
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 21, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My wife is a homemaker and doesn't value money. Since I married her, i have always tried to keep her happy but she insists spending on maids, shopping and kitties. I never hesitated whenever she asked for money, I have always provided it. But now our children are 12 and 14 and I need to save for their coaching and future. My wife thinks marrying me was a mistake because I am not able to meet her high standard of living. I earn Rs 60,000 out of which 20k goes on rent and 20K on my children's education. With the remaining amount, i pay EMIs and other household expenses. She is not willing to adjust. What should I do? I am very stressed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You two need a lesson or two on managing money. At the end of the day what is left is your disposable income that must be invested wisely for it to grow.
Learn Budgeting and set aside money under specific expenditure labels (fixed and variable) and then whatever is left, portion some towards fun and entertainment and the rest invest in something meaningful...You could seek the help of a close friend or family who are good at managing their monies and apply it to yourself...
But as a start point, be polite yet firm and emphasizing to your wife that you are managing the money from now on; it may seem like you are doubting her or taking away her power but just until you are able to put a system in place monies and slowly she will appreciate what you are doing for her and the family. Start somewhere...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Relationship
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |725 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Currently , I am in 2nd year of my clg , btech CCE in MUJ .... Studies are fine. After my breakup with my first bf( 3 years back) it really shook me of as I got to know he cheated on me and I wasted my precious time thinking about him though I have overcame from this .... So I met this guy online .... We are from same clg but diff department... Class are on the same floor so we met a few times but that was also an eye contact or simple hi hello .... We started talking from 2nd sem .... And in 2nd-3rd sem it felt like he liked me but I wasn't ready. And he never brought this topic it was simply friendly banter or thoda bahut flirting and now from the starting of 4th sem things have changed like in his behaviour, way he used to talk, holding the convos ..it's like he's cutting me.... though I talked about this and he cleared like it's nothing like that but yeah many things are changed .... We dont talk like we used to , he seems non interested, late replies ... And here as soon as I started liking him he got off ... I even gave him slight hints but now it feels like I am desperate to talk it is making me feel clingy distracted that I can't just stop thinking about it ... It's becoming a hindrance in my studies . .. I feel like whenever I start to like someone that other person gets off like he's not interested it has happened a many of times .. it makes me feels o dumb and stupid like do I even have something that the other person would like me or even just stop being non interested or giving mixed signals
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how you are feeling and it is very normal to question yourself when you notice the pattern more than one time. But trust me, it is not you. Sometimes people have fleeting feelings for each other. It can also be that since the guy did not feel you reciprocate the same feeling, he moved on to protect his heart. Or some people with casual feelings just lose interest as soon as the chase is over. The reason does not matter; what matters here is that it's not your fault. This clingy, distracted feeling will pass soon. This is not love; you just miss feeling important to someone and it's completely normal. Don't think of this as a loss. He was never the right person for you to begin with if he wants to cut you off suddenly. You deserve to be loved completely, not just when it's convenient for them.

Hope this helps.
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Relationship
Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |82 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 01, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I feel invisible in my own marriage. I’m 36 now, and we are married for 8 years with a beautiful daughter. My wife is a great mother, homemaker and manages everything at home, but we have nothing in common. We haven’t had a real conversation or emotional connection in years. Recently, I got emotionally attached to a senior female colleague who actually listened to me. We went out for coffee and there was an instant emotional connection. I don't feel guilty but I am confused. Is this how emotional affairs begin in long-term marriages? Is it wrong to choose a partner who you are emotionally compatible with?
Ans: Hello sir. I hope you are in good health. Marriage is a long term association in which slowly and slowly we get to know about the positives and negatives of a person. We all have two sides. One is romantic and other is the one who handles all the responsibility. Isn't it good that your wife responsibly handles all the household chores along with your kids and takes care of your needs too. May be she is also lost somewhere and is burdened under all responsibilities. I understand that you may have problems and you may not feel the emotional connection between you too.
There are ways to sort out this. Find some common interest that you both enjoy and do such activities. You may talk with your wife at the end of the day and ask her about her day, you can share about your day. You can discuss your future plans.
In previous times extra marital affairs were very less. Because people used to work with each other and work on each other. They never used to give up on each other. That's why the relationships used to last for more than 50 years even.
You can talk to your colleague as a friend. Friends do listen to each other and have emotional connect but having more than that would not be advisable.
I hope you get some light in your mind.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet
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Relationship
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Relationship
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2026Hindi
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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2026Hindi
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I'm a 53 year old married man living with two sons. In 2020, my wife found that I am having an affair and left for her parent's place. We were never compatible and having children was her choice. I had told her before our marriage that I am not the husband she was hoping me to be. She chose to be a homemaker and insisted on having kids. Before marriage, I had also mentioned to her that I am seeing someone who was going through her own separation, but she said she wanted to marry me for her own freedom. Now she's living with her parents and we have no contact whatsover. We haven't spoken in all these years but she doesn't want to consent to divorce. I have singlehandedly taken care of my sons in these 6 years. She speaks to her sons when they are outside, and they told me she wants them to stay with me because she doesn't want to work or provide for them. I am okay to provide alimony but she doesn't want to sign the divorce papers. My lawyer has tried to speak with her but she wants to stay married so that I can suffer. What kind of punishment is this? What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can you do about it? If she does not want a divorce and this is a vengeance thing for your affair, the only thing you can do is speak with her. All the stuff that went South needs to be addressed and YES, there will be a point in time where she will expect you apologize. Yes, you did mention to her about how you view marriage BUT you still went ahead and married and had had kids as well. As far as she is concerned, she always was in an ideal marriage while you had your definition for it and both of you lived the relationship in your own ways.
The best is to appeal to her better sense and hope that someday she will see that it is better to separate than stick together.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My parents are against my divorce. I am married for 17 years but we have been living as stranger for the past 7 years. We had an arranged marriage and we don't get along. Initially I thought it was because we had a 6 year age gap. But most days, it has been rough. No respect from in-laws, constant arguments and fighting. Husband wanted me to stay away for some time but I realised he is just finding grounds for divorce from my end. He doesn't want to give alimony and wants full custody of our 14 year old son. I have mortgaged my gold to buy this 3bhk house but he dismisses my contribution because the house is in his mother's name. She is still alive. My mental peace is destroyed. But i want to do the right thing for us and my son. Anu mam, do you think I should live separate and give up my rights to this house and my son? If he files for divorce will he have a better advantage than me? Please guide what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether you should make the marriage work or live separately is a decision that is yours to make; what I can suggest is to actually understand and become aware as to what you want in life.
If marriage was always an important thing, then maybe some work in that direction can help which means you may have to as a couple set aside differences and work as a unit to put the marriage back together. This also will require your husband to cooperate and view it as important as you do. So, have a conversation with him without it leading into an argument.
Now, if you choose to go separate how and what will be an advantage is something that only a lawyer will be able to guide you on.
So, as a first step become aware about whether you view marriage as an important structure in your life or not; the rest of the steps will follow from this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2026Hindi
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How can one married woman destroy another's life? My husband has been spending more time with his married office colleague whose children have grown up and live abroad. Since I am a homemaker, whenever they meet at our home or during public events when I am around, they talk in riddles that only they seem to understand and laugh about. It used to be annoying and I have also expressed to both of them about how I feel. But I am never taken seriously. They even hug each other so intimately that I feel like the third wheel in their relationship. My husband never appreciates me, he even refuses to acknowledge my feelings. He thinks I am some illiterate homemaker but I had a well paying job. I used to lead a team and I know I am not overreacting. I can tell when a colleague becomes more than a coworker. I can tell that they are having an affair from the way she holds my husband's arm. I am tired of confronting and I don't want to lose my sanity trying to defend my respect. I am just waiting for my daughter to complete her board exam so I can talk to her about this. Anu mam, I need your help. How can I seek divorce while still keeping my dignity?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have two paths n front of you; either you move on or make your marriage work.
Both paths are not easy but the latter can help you rebuild your marriage. But if you feel strongly about moving on, do find a good lawyer who can help you with the legal proceedings.
To maintain your dignity, make sure that you clearly state what you want as a part of your separation and NO, there is no shame or backing out in this; your lawyer should be able to take care of this.
Also, divorce can take a huge toil on your emotional health; make no mistake about it especially since you are the aggrieved one in this case. And if your husband chooses to contest, the battle can turn ugly. Be prepared for these turn of events; keep your family and friends close as you will need to fall back on someone.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2026Hindi
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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi
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Hi Ma'am, I am 37 and my wife is 5 years younger to me. We are married for last 7 years. My wife has been talking to a male friend of hers which I have been not liking and I had also discussed with her couple of times. Despite that she use to say he is just a good friend and don't think so much. I use to believe her. Recently I found out after reading her Whatsapp message that she has been cheating on me since a year. She has also got in physical relationship with him couple of times. We are in middle of planning a baby through IUI process and all these things have come in front of me. I have confronted her now and have said that I have read all her messages and she is speechless. She knows she is at fault she is scared. We have not been talking to each other since last night. Kindly advice what step should I take ahead. She is pleading me to not to stop the IUI procedure and wants to try for a baby. I am completely shattered now and have no willingness to do anything now. I have always loved her. I still feel emotional for her that what will happen to her life if I give her divorce and when both the families will get involved. Her family is very orthodox family. They wont even accept her. Many things going on in my mind and hard to pen down everything. Kindly advice what is your suggestion in this scenario.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure that you feel cheated and beaten down and this is not the time to pursue IUI; first sort out the issues between the two of you. With the added pressure of IUI, the marriage where trust is broken will just deteriorate.
So, first things first, either work together to sort the marriage OR seek a professional to guide you on the same.
A baby that is conceived in love and harmony is what any parent will want, so rebuilding that love must be the priority if of course, you as an affected party want that. Please reflect on this and have an honest chat with your wife and see what direction you wish to take...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi
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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I have been married for 24 years, and ours was a love marriage. We have two sons who are now grown up, and for most of our married life, things were stable and peaceful between us. Over the years, like many couples, we got busy with responsibilities, work, children, and daily life. Slowly our emotional and physical connection started fading without us even realising it. For the past few years, especially after our children became independent, I have started feeling a sense of emptiness in our relationship. We live in the same house but hardly talk beyond basic daily conversations. There is no warmth, no affection, and we have not been physically close for a long time. Recently, when I tried to initiate closeness or even simple gestures like holding her hand, she seemed uncomfortable like I am some stranger. I was very hurt but I didn't react. I still care deeply for her and want to rebuild our bond. I don’t know if she has emotionally moved on, lost interest in the relationship, or if this is just a phase many long-term marriages go through. How can I win her back in my life?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Raising kids, family responsibilities and duties can somehow push the spark of marriage to a bare minimum and before you know it, the communication breakdown will make you believe that there the marriage is over. But it's far from over; in fact it's a wake-up call to RESET and plunge back into understanding why you married your wife and not just anybody else.
It's important to count on what you add to each other and value what you bring to the marriage. Once you neutralize it to a point where you are willing to put in the hard work necessary to reset the marriage, half your is done. Start with intimate (emotional) conversations and do things with one another. I always suggest date nights to bring back that fun and no-care in the world feeling, It can ignite a lot of passion back into the marriage. Start...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My son doesn't respect me at all. At first I thought he was just being a kid and ignored his tantrums. Now he is 11 and back answers me in front of elders and guests. I have never laid my hands on him but i have scolded him enough, made him understand when he was a child. He used to be scared of his father earlier but now he says do what you want. I don't know what is wrong with him. Things at home haven't been good either. We are going through some financial issues due to which we have to cut down expenses. I can't afford an expensive counsellor. The school counsellor said it could be teen rage and it may get better when he grows up. I am not convinced. What should I do to help?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Any change in situations at home can cause a behavior change in a child due to resistance, fear and more...
He possibly sees it a some sort of threat that things maybe taken away from him that he is sued to; what goes on in a child's mind is the job of parents and/or a counselor.
Not all counselors are expensive and you maybe able to find someone who can help your son. In the meantime what I suggest is to not have any financial related chats in front of the child. Also, become aware of how your mind state of anxiety and worry might be impacting him; if you could isolate him from your thoughts and worries, that will be a great gift at this point in time for the child. Any change in the environment can impact in a good and not-so-good manner; so try and keep it light...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Dr Upneet

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Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 01, 2026Hindi
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Mam, why do women always have to adjust in a marriage? Why don't our parents ever accept that men can be at fault too? Whenever I tell my mother or mother in law about something hurtful my husband said or did, she tells me to forgive and move on. He never apologises or thinks he has done anything wrong. My husband and I are married for 11 years, but he never admits he has done anything wrong. Isn't it disrespectful and unfair to ask a woman to adjust and ignore without listening to both sides of the story?
Ans: You’re right. It’s unfair. And it’s exhausting.
Women are told to “adjust” because it’s easier for families to keep peace than to hold men accountable. Your mother and mother-in-law are not really judging right or wrong — they’re choosing convenience over fairness.

But that doesn’t make it correct.

If your husband never apologises, never reflects, and you are always the one expected to move on, then this is not adjustment — this is imbalance.

And the real issue is not your parents anymore.
It’s that your husband has learned he doesn’t have to take responsibility, because the system around him supports that.

You don’t need to argue with your parents to prove your point.
You need to stop silently accepting a pattern that hurts you.

You don’t have to fight.
But you also don’t have to keep absorbing everything.

A simple shift is this:
instead of explaining again and again, just say calmly —
“This hurt me. I’m not okay with ignoring it.”

And then don’t rush to normalise things immediately.

Respect in a marriage doesn’t come from adjusting more.
It comes when the other person realises you won’t keep accepting less.
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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2026Hindi
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My bf checks my phone without permission. I am in a two-year relationship with my boyfriend, and initially everything felt perfect, but now he constantly criticises what I wear, who I talk to, and even checks my phone's notifications. Last week, he created a scene at my friend’s birthday party because I was talking to a male colleague. He even blamed me for “disrespecting” the relationship and did not speak to me for two days. I feel mentally exhausted trying to explain but he says he is too committed and wants to know if I am genuinely interested in a life ahead with him. Part of me is also scared of losing him because he was there for me during a difficult phase in my life. When I explain something and he apologises, I see a side to him which makes it harder to leave. My friends who have not met him feel this is a toxic red flag behaviour . Do you think they could be right or is this something that can improve with time? How do I understand if this relationship is turning emotionally abusive?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how exhausting it can be to be constantly doubted when you are not doing anything wrong. Well, your friends’ opinion, while a bit harsh, is not completely wrong. It is a toxic pattern and it needs to be checked if you want to have a healthy relationship. You need to have an open discussion about this with him; tell him how it makes you feel whenever he suspects you of some wrongdoing. Also ask him why does he feel this way so often when every time it is proven that you are loyal to the relationship and him. It is important to understand what is the root cause of this mistrust. This is the only way to move ahead with this relationship and not lose your sanity. If, even after the talk, he continues to exhibit the same behavioural pattern, I would recommend you rethink the relationship because it won’t be an easy life, where you have to constantly prove your innocence. Relationships aren’t based just on love; it needs mutual trust and respect to grow.

Hope this helps.
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 23, 2026Hindi
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2026Hindi
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My husband suspects I am having an affair with my neighbour. When he is away, sometimes my neighbour helps me fix things at home because his wife and I are good friends. When i make something nice, I offer it to him as well. His wife also comes home and we chat during lunch or have coffee together. But he chooses to only talk about my friendship with the male neighbour. I always leave the door open to avoid any suspicion but this has been leading to daily arguments at home. How do I fix this situation without hurting my friendship?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Obviously, what is not seen can only be imagined and your husband is imagining a story that is filled with doubt and suspicion.
One way that you can ease this:
- call your neighbor home for a light chat when your husband is at home
Let your husband see for himself what actually is the real deal...as you do this, I would also suggest that you reflect on why there is so much insecurity in your husband...what makes him have these suspicions?
Today, you are in a position to actually ease his doubts, but if this becomes a habit, it is just fueling his behavior even more and there maybe a time in the future when there will be no way in which you can prove your innocence, what then?

So, this one time to maintain peace at home, do this BUT please work on trust issues within the marriage; it can be a deal breaker...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |725 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I am married for 7 years and I have a child, but recently I have grown very close to a colleague at work. We talk and message every day, share our personal struggles, and I find myself waiting for his texts more than my husband’s attention. My marriage is stable but it has become such a routine that neither of us seems interested in each other. My husband is a good father but as a couple, I feel something is missing emotionally. I haven’t crossed any physical boundaries with this colleague who is also married, but if we pursue it further, I know it will turn into an emotional extra-marital affair which makes me extremely guilty. But personally when I am with this colleague, I feel alive and understood in a way I haven’t felt in years. Is this just emotional dependency or a serious warning sign about my marriage? Should I hesitate or see where it leads us?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am glad you are seeking help and are aware that things can take a turn for the worse. A long-term relationship can come to a point where it becomes too mundane; the excitement might go missing and that is only natural. But finding that excitement outside that marriage can lead to irreparable damage. Right now the attention from someone new feels refreshing but if you think about it, it felt the same way when you first met your husband. So, my suggestion is, don’t confuse this excitement with love. Marriage is about choosing your partner everyday, even when things become too routine. I suggest working on your marriage. Have a conversation with your partner; let him know that you feel that the two of you need to work on bringing back the spark. Plan getaways, dates, go for movies, try new things. Everyone goes through a rough patch in marriage; how to choose to handle it makes all the difference.

Hope this helps.
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Shalini Singh  |187 Answers  |Ask -

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Ravi Mittal  |725 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2026Hindi
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My wife thinks I am dating my co-worker. Every time I step out for an office trip, she fights with me thinking I am going on a date. She has called up my office in the past to check and due to some miscommunication, she assumed that I didn't tell her the truth where I was. I had visited an old male friend for drinks after office whom she isn't too fond of so I didn't update her. Since that day, she has major trust issues. How can I fix this?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Trust issues are very tricky to deal with and if unchecked, it can ruin relationships. You are right to be concerned about it. The first step is understanding why she is having these trust issues. What is making her not believe you? Is it insecurities, or lack of communication, or something else altogether. The only way to understand this is open discussion. Find a time when both of you are calm and feeling relaxed. Tell her that you want to discuss this issue since this is happening over and over again. Note: tell her that you don’t like her feeling sad about something that is not even real. It makes you sad and worry about her. These words will help her understand that you are trying to work things out genuinely. Let her know that it also bothers you that she doesn’t trust you and ask her what it is that makes her think that you are lying to her. Hear her out and you might be able to point out exactly what’s happening here. Sometimes, in marriages, people start to feel less valued and trust issues can stem from that same feeling. Sometimes it’s miscommunication. It is very important to fix the matter while it is relatively new and small.

Hope this helps.
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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2026Hindi
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 24, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 10, 2026Hindi
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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 24, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 10, 2026Hindi
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I think my husband takes me for granted. We have been married for 21 years. I was working until last year but took a sabbatical to recover from a hip surgery. While he was mostly away travelling for work, I raised two kids, one is in first year of college, the other is in 11th standard. Now that I am out of work and recovering, I am noticing how he is mostly complaining that I am not contributing enough and he is feeling the pressure. What about the 21 years I managed everything -- my job, home, kids, his ailing parents? He hasn't given me a single compliment but there is a limit to how much you can live with a man who doesn't value what you do for him and the family. What do you think i should do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The biggest red flag in any relationship is when two people start to take each other for granted,
Therein goes the value that the other person has been adding into your life and the other way round. If you have to prove your worth in any relationship, it has already started to break down and needs a good intervention. I suggest that you and your husband have a conversation around this. Of course, it's likely that he might be surprised at what you say and dismiss it as your reaction to him saying that he feels the pressure. The real issue of you not feeling valued must be stated until he gets it; so start your journey...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 23, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2026Hindi
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2026Hindi
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 23, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2026Hindi
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Hello I am married for last 11 years and we have a 9 year old son. We have seen many ups and downs during the early year of our marriage, in our relationship and in economically as well. I even left my work after my son was born, spent all my savings fulfilling his and my wishes. My husband only use to provide us with the basics. We live with our in laws. My father in law has all the control our the money we earn in our business and my mother in law wants to control the whole house. So I limited myself to my room to avoid any arguments. My husband promised me monthly allowance before I got pregnant for the first time. Which I never received. Now I started working again and I am earning well, I finally feel happy again. But now he started asking for second child. Which I actually never want. Because nothing changed from his side. He doesn't provide us with much, we need a bigger house if we have another kid as I can't raise Children with so much age gap in one room as our son still sleeps with us. He only say it will happen eventually but that is what he said even before. I do want a second child but I know I will never be happy with it. Because I will have to leave work and he will not provide us that well. Kindly suggest me what to do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Statement 01: But now he started asking for second child. Which I actually never want.
Statement 02: I do want a second child but I know I will never be happy with it.

Both are just the opposite; what you are dealing with is confusions around your lack of independence and financial freedom. Do address these first as a couple before planning for the next child. If you value a work life, then do so in a manner that it does not become an issue in your marriage. Similarly, marriage need not become a chain that will keep you away from working.
Kindly address money issues that seem to be working against your peace within the marriage.
- have an honest chat around why you wish to work
- why feeling financially secure is important to you
If there are basic ideology issues around this, seek the help of a professional who can guide you through the mismatch of value systems between the husband and the wife.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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