Relationship - Rediff Gurus

Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 10, 2026

Question by Jayakiran - Mar 03, 2026Hindi

It has been 5 months since we had sex, my wife is more into u get intimate, why should I be the one or more of zero interest or no urge to have sex with me. We don't have sex regularly, maybe 12 times a year. Slowly we are becoming more like 2 individuals living together for sake of daughter. She keeps making daughter to sleep along with us tough she is 13. I don't mind, but this is creating wall for intimacy.

Ans: Dear Jayakiran,
Lack of intimacy can stem from many reasons. Please have an open conversation with your wife and try to understand what is causing it. Hear her, instead of being defensive or accuse her of no interest. Simple communication can sort out most of these issues.

Hope this helps

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 08, 2026

Question by LALIT - Apr 07, 2026Hindi

i am asking in English language only, but you are not accepting it

Ans: Dear Lalit,
I am not sure what you mean but if you have unanswered queries, it might be because your questions did not reach me. Please feel free to resend it.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2026Hindi

My husband is having an affair with his junior. She is a divorcee and texts my husband every day late in the night. Then he steps out for a walk and comes home late by 2 am. I am a homemaker adn mother of two sons. There is no intimacy but he never demanded it either. I quit my corporate job to take care of our sons and his family. And now this new development is making me angry. I also found out through a common friend that they are intimate and there are gossips in office that they plan to live together after our divorce. How do I start this uncomfortable conversation with my husband?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it’s an extraordinarily painful time for you. After all the care, love and sacrifice, you definitely don’t deserve this. Let me ask you something, do you really want to live with a man who has no respect for you or the marriage? I understand that divorce is a really big decision, especially with children involved, but you don’t deserve to be stuck in a marriage where your partner does not value you. Please have a conversation with your husband and express how his actions have made you feel; he should understand that actions have consequences. After that, it is entirely up to you whether you still want to stay in the marriage. Please speak to close family members and seek their advice. You don’t know how much their support can help in a situation like this.

Hope this helps.

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi

Hi Ma'am, I am 37 and my wife is 5 years younger to me. We are married for last 7 years. My wife has been talking to a male friend of hers which I have been not liking and I had also discussed with her couple of times. Despite that she use to say he is just a good friend and don't think so much. I use to believe her. Recently I found out after reading her Whatsapp message that she has been cheating on me since a year. She has also got in physical relationship with him couple of times. We are in middle of planning a baby through IUI process and all these things have come in front of me. I have confronted her now and have said that I have read all her messages and she is speechless. She knows she is at fault she is scared. We have not been talking to each other since last night. Kindly advice what step should I take ahead. She is pleading me to not to stop the IUI procedure and wants to try for a baby. I am completely shattered now and have no willingness to do anything now. I have always loved her. I still feel emotional for her that what will happen to her life if I give her divorce and when both the families will get involved. Her family is very orthodox family. They wont even accept her. Many things going on in my mind and hard to pen down everything. Kindly advice what is your suggestion in this scenario.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure that you feel cheated and beaten down and this is not the time to pursue IUI; first sort out the issues between the two of you. With the added pressure of IUI, the marriage where trust is broken will just deteriorate.
So, first things first, either work together to sort the marriage OR seek a professional to guide you on the same.
A baby that is conceived in love and harmony is what any parent will want, so rebuilding that love must be the priority if of course, you as an affected party want that. Please reflect on this and have an honest chat with your wife and see what direction you wish to take...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi

My BF is a stalker. It was fun when he used to stalk me because I thought he was genuinely interested in knowing more about me, but now I see him stalking profiles of other women. When I caught him, he dismissed saying Instagram suggested these profiles. I have known him for 4 years but this is one behaviour I am not comfortable at all. What should I do? Should I report him, break up with him? He hasn't misbehaved with anyone but my friend told me that he sent her a request to follow on Instagram. I did my own investigation and found that he has another account on which he follows only women. I am honestly very confused and shocked.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Even after being in a relationship with you, he prefers stalking and amusing himself with women on social media apps, is NOT OKAY!
And if he has another account exclusively to stalk women, do you not see it as a RED FLAG? What exactly is confusing in that? He's possibly committed to you and still seeking his amusement outside as well...I am sure that you know what to to do!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi

I have been married for 24 years, and ours was a love marriage. We have two sons who are now grown up, and for most of our married life, things were stable and peaceful between us. Over the years, like many couples, we got busy with responsibilities, work, children, and daily life. Slowly our emotional and physical connection started fading without us even realising it. For the past few years, especially after our children became independent, I have started feeling a sense of emptiness in our relationship. We live in the same house but hardly talk beyond basic daily conversations. There is no warmth, no affection, and we have not been physically close for a long time. Recently, when I tried to initiate closeness or even simple gestures like holding her hand, she seemed uncomfortable like I am some stranger. I was very hurt but I didn't react. I still care deeply for her and want to rebuild our bond. I don’t know if she has emotionally moved on, lost interest in the relationship, or if this is just a phase many long-term marriages go through. How can I win her back in my life?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Raising kids, family responsibilities and duties can somehow push the spark of marriage to a bare minimum and before you know it, the communication breakdown will make you believe that there the marriage is over. But it's far from over; in fact it's a wake-up call to RESET and plunge back into understanding why you married your wife and not just anybody else.
It's important to count on what you add to each other and value what you bring to the marriage. Once you neutralize it to a point where you are willing to put in the hard work necessary to reset the marriage, half your is done. Start with intimate (emotional) conversations and do things with one another. I always suggest date nights to bring back that fun and no-care in the world feeling, It can ignite a lot of passion back into the marriage. Start...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi

My son doesn't respect me at all. At first I thought he was just being a kid and ignored his tantrums. Now he is 11 and back answers me in front of elders and guests. I have never laid my hands on him but i have scolded him enough, made him understand when he was a child. He used to be scared of his father earlier but now he says do what you want. I don't know what is wrong with him. Things at home haven't been good either. We are going through some financial issues due to which we have to cut down expenses. I can't afford an expensive counsellor. The school counsellor said it could be teen rage and it may get better when he grows up. I am not convinced. What should I do to help?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Any change in situations at home can cause a behavior change in a child due to resistance, fear and more...
He possibly sees it a some sort of threat that things maybe taken away from him that he is sued to; what goes on in a child's mind is the job of parents and/or a counselor.
Not all counselors are expensive and you maybe able to find someone who can help your son. In the meantime what I suggest is to not have any financial related chats in front of the child. Also, become aware of how your mind state of anxiety and worry might be impacting him; if you could isolate him from your thoughts and worries, that will be a great gift at this point in time for the child. Any change in the environment can impact in a good and not-so-good manner; so try and keep it light...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Upneet Kaur |80 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 01, 2026Hindi

I'm a 33-year-old married woman, and I recently discovered that my husband has been deleting chats and hiding conversations with a female colleague. When I confronted him, he said it’s 'just harmless flirting' and accused me of being insecure and overreacting. The problem is, I can’t shake off this constant anxiety and urge to check his phone, which is slowly affecting my mental peace. Are these early signs of emotional cheating in marriage, and how do you rebuild trust when your partner doesn’t see anything wrong with their behaviour?

Ans: Hello mam. I hope you are in good health. Mam, marriage is all about trust and good communication. If these two things are there in marriage then things do work out. I understand that you are having anxiety and you feel insecure in this situation but if your husband ia saying that it was a casual talk and you have not confronted him before this then I think you should give him another fair chance with trust and you should not feel it a cheating. Try to spend some more quality time with him. You will see changes soon.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur

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Kanchan Rai |657 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi

Mam, why do women always have to adjust in a marriage? Why don't our parents ever accept that men can be at fault too? Whenever I tell my mother or mother in law about something hurtful my husband said or did, she tells me to forgive and move on. He never apologises or thinks he has done anything wrong. My husband and I are married for 11 years, but he never admits he has done anything wrong. Isn't it disrespectful and unfair to ask a woman to adjust and ignore without listening to both sides of the story?

Ans: You’re right. It’s unfair. And it’s exhausting.
Women are told to “adjust” because it’s easier for families to keep peace than to hold men accountable. Your mother and mother-in-law are not really judging right or wrong — they’re choosing convenience over fairness.

But that doesn’t make it correct.

If your husband never apologises, never reflects, and you are always the one expected to move on, then this is not adjustment — this is imbalance.

And the real issue is not your parents anymore.
It’s that your husband has learned he doesn’t have to take responsibility, because the system around him supports that.

You don’t need to argue with your parents to prove your point.
You need to stop silently accepting a pattern that hurts you.

You don’t have to fight.
But you also don’t have to keep absorbing everything.

A simple shift is this:
instead of explaining again and again, just say calmly —
“This hurt me. I’m not okay with ignoring it.”

And then don’t rush to normalise things immediately.

Respect in a marriage doesn’t come from adjusting more.
It comes when the other person realises you won’t keep accepting less.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2026Hindi

My bf checks my phone without permission. I am in a two-year relationship with my boyfriend, and initially everything felt perfect, but now he constantly criticises what I wear, who I talk to, and even checks my phone's notifications. Last week, he created a scene at my friend’s birthday party because I was talking to a male colleague. He even blamed me for “disrespecting” the relationship and did not speak to me for two days. I feel mentally exhausted trying to explain but he says he is too committed and wants to know if I am genuinely interested in a life ahead with him. Part of me is also scared of losing him because he was there for me during a difficult phase in my life. When I explain something and he apologises, I see a side to him which makes it harder to leave. My friends who have not met him feel this is a toxic red flag behaviour . Do you think they could be right or is this something that can improve with time? How do I understand if this relationship is turning emotionally abusive?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how exhausting it can be to be constantly doubted when you are not doing anything wrong. Well, your friends’ opinion, while a bit harsh, is not completely wrong. It is a toxic pattern and it needs to be checked if you want to have a healthy relationship. You need to have an open discussion about this with him; tell him how it makes you feel whenever he suspects you of some wrongdoing. Also ask him why does he feel this way so often when every time it is proven that you are loyal to the relationship and him. It is important to understand what is the root cause of this mistrust. This is the only way to move ahead with this relationship and not lose your sanity. If, even after the talk, he continues to exhibit the same behavioural pattern, I would recommend you rethink the relationship because it won’t be an easy life, where you have to constantly prove your innocence. Relationships aren’t based just on love; it needs mutual trust and respect to grow.

Hope this helps.

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 23, 2026Hindi

Me and my wife are just living together being married for 15 years with 13 year old daughter, intimacy has become zero. Even if I touch her by mistake she doesn't like it. Though we sleep on same bed, we do nothing now. Just yes no, kind of conversations. I do not agree with something is taken personally, telling no is becoming a pain. Telling yes then I would be doing it with low interest. She even planned vacation with my daughter without involving me. Marriage is without sex, naughty talks, role plays, touch. I feel we are on verge of heading for divorce!! Talking to her more than 5 mins leads to some or rather irritation. Silently suffering.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A marriage of 15 years, a child, responsibilities, household chores can lead a couple to a place where they start taking each other for granted. And when that happens and there's no respect for emotional closeness anymore, where is the room for touch, feel and sex?
Rather than focusing on your sex life, shift your lens to build that emotional closeness that is lost and you will see the spark coming alive slowly but surely...
It's not too late or funny to go out on date nights or a holiday together...less talk more doing instead...small gestures like these can help bring back that closeness and love that has faded.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2026Hindi

My husband suspects I am having an affair with my neighbour. When he is away, sometimes my neighbour helps me fix things at home because his wife and I are good friends. When i make something nice, I offer it to him as well. His wife also comes home and we chat during lunch or have coffee together. But he chooses to only talk about my friendship with the male neighbour. I always leave the door open to avoid any suspicion but this has been leading to daily arguments at home. How do I fix this situation without hurting my friendship?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Obviously, what is not seen can only be imagined and your husband is imagining a story that is filled with doubt and suspicion.
One way that you can ease this:
- call your neighbor home for a light chat when your husband is at home
Let your husband see for himself what actually is the real deal...as you do this, I would also suggest that you reflect on why there is so much insecurity in your husband...what makes him have these suspicions?
Today, you are in a position to actually ease his doubts, but if this becomes a habit, it is just fueling his behavior even more and there maybe a time in the future when there will be no way in which you can prove your innocence, what then?

So, this one time to maintain peace at home, do this BUT please work on trust issues within the marriage; it can be a deal breaker...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2026Hindi

I am married for 7 years and I have a child, but recently I have grown very close to a colleague at work. We talk and message every day, share our personal struggles, and I find myself waiting for his texts more than my husband’s attention. My marriage is stable but it has become such a routine that neither of us seems interested in each other. My husband is a good father but as a couple, I feel something is missing emotionally. I haven’t crossed any physical boundaries with this colleague who is also married, but if we pursue it further, I know it will turn into an emotional extra-marital affair which makes me extremely guilty. But personally when I am with this colleague, I feel alive and understood in a way I haven’t felt in years. Is this just emotional dependency or a serious warning sign about my marriage? Should I hesitate or see where it leads us?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am glad you are seeking help and are aware that things can take a turn for the worse. A long-term relationship can come to a point where it becomes too mundane; the excitement might go missing and that is only natural. But finding that excitement outside that marriage can lead to irreparable damage. Right now the attention from someone new feels refreshing but if you think about it, it felt the same way when you first met your husband. So, my suggestion is, don’t confuse this excitement with love. Marriage is about choosing your partner everyday, even when things become too routine. I suggest working on your marriage. Have a conversation with your partner; let him know that you feel that the two of you need to work on bringing back the spark. Plan getaways, dates, go for movies, try new things. Everyone goes through a rough patch in marriage; how to choose to handle it makes all the difference.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 31, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 30, 2026Hindi

Which are the safest dating apps for someone approaching 60 and widowed?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I would suggest you not to look for a partner in mainstream dating apps as there might be a huge expectation mismatch, difference in personal history and even lack of understanding because the typical age of the crowd is much younger. Try a niche matchmaking and matrimony app that is specifically designed for divorced and separated singles who are seeking a second chance. There are a few Indian homegrown apps that cater to the Indian audience. A quick search and you will find the perfect one for you.

Hope this helps.

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Shalini Singh |187 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 31, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 31, 2026Hindi

I'm 30M. I'm in arranged marriage process. I have been talking to the girl for 3 weeks, and we are getting in roka next week. I'm feeling more tensed and confused over being excited. the girl is really excited while me not so much. I haven't been social much in my life , had very less friends and no relationships. I'm getting anxious over future.

Ans: First breathe - secondly it's if you not been in any relationship before and it is absolutely fine to have few set of friends - having said this, we hope these are good friend/s - even if 1 or 2.

Do know there is nothing to fear - but yes one does get anxious as one has no clue about it. And so if you wish you may want to schedule a relationship guidance session with me - https://andwemet.com/relationship-guidance

Invest in yourself, feel good about life and invest in the relationship - a strong healthy relationship is a life changing experience.

All the best.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 25, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2026Hindi

My wife thinks I am dating my co-worker. Every time I step out for an office trip, she fights with me thinking I am going on a date. She has called up my office in the past to check and due to some miscommunication, she assumed that I didn't tell her the truth where I was. I had visited an old male friend for drinks after office whom she isn't too fond of so I didn't update her. Since that day, she has major trust issues. How can I fix this?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Trust issues are very tricky to deal with and if unchecked, it can ruin relationships. You are right to be concerned about it. The first step is understanding why she is having these trust issues. What is making her not believe you? Is it insecurities, or lack of communication, or something else altogether. The only way to understand this is open discussion. Find a time when both of you are calm and feeling relaxed. Tell her that you want to discuss this issue since this is happening over and over again. Note: tell her that you don’t like her feeling sad about something that is not even real. It makes you sad and worry about her. These words will help her understand that you are trying to work things out genuinely. Let her know that it also bothers you that she doesn’t trust you and ask her what it is that makes her think that you are lying to her. Hear her out and you might be able to point out exactly what’s happening here. Sometimes, in marriages, people start to feel less valued and trust issues can stem from that same feeling. Sometimes it’s miscommunication. It is very important to fix the matter while it is relatively new and small.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 24, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2026Hindi

Is it ok for a Retired 70 years company executive to marry his young 40 years good looking Maid.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When both are consenting adults and genuinely like each other, it should not be an issue whom you marry. The age difference should not be a concern if both parties are aware and okay with it. But, in a situation like this, there can be certain issues like power imbalance, and not to mention, backlash from society and family. There might be a sort of financial dependence as well. Before you decide, please do consider these and work them out. And importantly, the relationship should be based on mutual love and respect, not some obligation or vulnerability.

Hope this helps.

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 24, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 10, 2026Hindi

Can a marriage last without s*x? My husband and I haven't been intimate since our second son was born. It was a difficult pregnancy. I was 34 and was advised bed rest. We were so busy managing two kids and finances that we had no time or desire for each other. We shared one bedroom with the kids who are now grown up. Both are abroad, they rarely visit home. Our lives have been dull since both children left home. My husband goes out for a walk, watches TV, spends time on the phone, goes to the market etc...but there is nothing physical. I am 53, he is 59, retired last year. He mostly sleeps on the sofa I sleep on the empty bed. Is this the end of our marriage?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
NO, this is the beginning of the next phase of your lives minus the kids around you all the time.
Start making time for the marriage in terms of:
- spending time with one another sharing responsibilities and doing a few together
- take mini vacations to get away from the daily mundane tasks
- join a sport or activity class together
- have long conversations on each other's likes and dislikes

The basic idea is to rebuild the marriage BUT pretend that you are starting now, afresh! With this outlook, there will be a lot of fresh thoughts without bringing up the past...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 24, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 10, 2026Hindi

I think my husband takes me for granted. We have been married for 21 years. I was working until last year but took a sabbatical to recover from a hip surgery. While he was mostly away travelling for work, I raised two kids, one is in first year of college, the other is in 11th standard. Now that I am out of work and recovering, I am noticing how he is mostly complaining that I am not contributing enough and he is feeling the pressure. What about the 21 years I managed everything -- my job, home, kids, his ailing parents? He hasn't given me a single compliment but there is a limit to how much you can live with a man who doesn't value what you do for him and the family. What do you think i should do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The biggest red flag in any relationship is when two people start to take each other for granted,
Therein goes the value that the other person has been adding into your life and the other way round. If you have to prove your worth in any relationship, it has already started to break down and needs a good intervention. I suggest that you and your husband have a conversation around this. Of course, it's likely that he might be surprised at what you say and dismiss it as your reaction to him saying that he feels the pressure. The real issue of you not feeling valued must be stated until he gets it; so start your journey...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 23, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2026Hindi

My fiance broke up with me after our engagement. He just messaged me that it's not going to work out. It was a silly argument between our parents about some pre-wedding ritual but he thinks that I don't respect his parents enough. Isn't marriage also about equality? If I don't want to be a part of some stupid ritual which I don't believe in, shouldn't he respect that? They could have discussed this before the engagement which they didn't. He used to be a reasonable guy when we dated but ever since his parents got involved he is acting all different with me. His parents don't let him talk to me any more because they want me to apologise, which is ridiculous. I don't understand how to resolve this. I don't want to miss out on a good partner because of some stupid disagreement over a ritual I don't care about. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Good partner? if you feel that someone who breaks a promise on a whim, who is willing to be led by his parents on what's right and wrong, who thinks that disagreement means disrespect, makes for a good partner; I would suggest that you write down exactly what a good partner for you seems like...You will be surprised at what you may read!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 23, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2026Hindi

My wife has been stalking her ex on Instagram. First she said she wanted closure. They met last year over coffee and she said she felt lighter. I asked if she felt anything and she confirmed that there was no feelings. But now they are talking day and night on Whatsapp. Should I worry or talk to my wife about it?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly there are some feelings still lurking around OR she's going back to her Ex as she has decided that there is something missing in the marriage.
Yes, you must talk to your wife about it to tell her how you think and feel about this; unnecessary external interference can break a marriage, so take necessary steps to work on this issue.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 23, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2026Hindi

Hello I am married for last 11 years and we have a 9 year old son. We have seen many ups and downs during the early year of our marriage, in our relationship and in economically as well. I even left my work after my son was born, spent all my savings fulfilling his and my wishes. My husband only use to provide us with the basics. We live with our in laws. My father in law has all the control our the money we earn in our business and my mother in law wants to control the whole house. So I limited myself to my room to avoid any arguments. My husband promised me monthly allowance before I got pregnant for the first time. Which I never received. Now I started working again and I am earning well, I finally feel happy again. But now he started asking for second child. Which I actually never want. Because nothing changed from his side. He doesn't provide us with much, we need a bigger house if we have another kid as I can't raise Children with so much age gap in one room as our son still sleeps with us. He only say it will happen eventually but that is what he said even before. I do want a second child but I know I will never be happy with it. Because I will have to leave work and he will not provide us that well. Kindly suggest me what to do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Statement 01: But now he started asking for second child. Which I actually never want.
Statement 02: I do want a second child but I know I will never be happy with it.

Both are just the opposite; what you are dealing with is confusions around your lack of independence and financial freedom. Do address these first as a couple before planning for the next child. If you value a work life, then do so in a manner that it does not become an issue in your marriage. Similarly, marriage need not become a chain that will keep you away from working.
Kindly address money issues that seem to be working against your peace within the marriage.
- have an honest chat around why you wish to work
- why feeling financially secure is important to you
If there are basic ideology issues around this, seek the help of a professional who can guide you through the mismatch of value systems between the husband and the wife.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 23, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 17, 2026Hindi

I have an 8 yr old son who gets distracted while I am talking to him. He will pretend like he is listening but do his own thing which I find very disrespectful. He will even make faces when I look away mimicking me. When I am serious and he does this, I get very upset. My parents feel we are being too gentle with our son. What can I do to ensure he listens (not obeys) to me when I speak?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There must be some reason for this behavior that can be classified as childish...
He is most likely gaining your attention acting this way; so the issue is not just just to make him obey but address the root cause of this behavior.
I suggest that rather than scold him or reprimand him for this behavior, ignore it for a couple of days. When he realizes that you are not affected by all the mimicking and stuff, it will make him wonder and possibly change. Also, as you start this, also start playing board games or any game that involves sitting down in one place and focus. Your son need not be a part of it, but when he sees the rest of the family focus and enjoy, he will somewhere has this feeling of being left out.
One step at a time; make this attempt...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2026Hindi

Thanks for your response. I had consulted a psychiatrist few years back but her prescibed medicines did not help. My wife used to feel sleepy and her hands used to go numb. Also the doctor had prescribed a shock treatment which I did not agree. Nevertheless I will again go for an experienced doctor for couple therapy together. My wife does not like even when we consult female doctors. I stay in Thane, Maharashtra, do you recommend any MALE doctors in this place who I can approach. Please advise & Thanks once again !

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Please share your original query as it is not visible here. Also, since you have posted it as 'Anonymous', there's no possibility of searching for your first query...

When you share the original, it will be possible for me to make active suggestions to you!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 18, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2026Hindi

How can you tell if a co-worker is flirting with you and wants to go out on a date?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First clue would be them asking you out on a date verbally. If there’s no confirmation of such nature, you can try and gauge their behavior, but that’s risky business because some people are just being nice and kindness can be mistaken as flirting. If you are unsure, ask your other colleagues if they too feel that your co-worker is flirting with you or if you are assuming it.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 16, 2026

Question by Jayakiran - Mar 03, 2026Hindi

It has been 5 months since we had sex, my wife is more into u get intimate, why should I be the one or more of zero interest or no urge to have sex with me. We don't have sex regularly, maybe 12 times a year. Slowly we are becoming more like 2 individuals living together for sake of daughter. She keeps making daughter to sleep along with us tough she is 13. I don't mind, but this is creating wall for intimacy.

Ans: Dear Jayakiran,
I understand this is a tricky situation and something like this can take a toll on the relationship. I suggest you open up to your partner and express how the lack of intimacy makes you feel. And along with that, I also suggest taking a look at your marriage; see if there’s something bothering your partner, whether it is a lack of emotional intimacy or effort from your end or your partner is just tired by the end of the day. A clear and honest discussion can fix a lot of things.

Hope this helps

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 10, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2026Hindi

Hi i m loving a divorced man and my parents are against it and they are emotionally blackmailing me and making me feel guilt and shame . I m anxious and stressed about this . How can I overcome this?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are a grown woman, financially secure and can take responsibility for your decisions, I don't see any reason your parents should against you choosing this man. So, sit them down and have a chat about what their concerns might be and try to ease that for them. It may very well be the fact that he is divorced and they are uncomfortable about that...find out, so that it starts to shape into a problem that you can solve!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 10, 2026

Question by P - Feb 26, 2026Hindi

good morning, a woman 40 yrs old having 15 yrs child came to know about her husband affair after which she again came in contact with me and told me that she loves me above everything wants to be with me but not in a position to give our relation a name so is it worth continuing a relation like these and what exactly love means in such type of relationship.

Ans: Dear P,
Whether worth continuing? In what terms, are you referring to worth?
Obviously what she does not get from her marriage, she is seeking for that from you and has made it clear that the relationship will also be under wraps.
To keep going in something like this will mean constant juggling between expectations and reality that can take a toll on your emotional health. You need to evaluate for yourself if you wish to be just an 'option' to someone.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2026Hindi

I don't believe in marriage but my partner does. He is 37, I am 32. We have been dating for 12 years and known each other as friends. Every time one of our friends get married, he tells me we should get married too. It sounds cute to my friends and family but I don't feel the need for it. We are good as a couple, we are there for each other. Everyone I know is aware that we are a couple. I don't mind moving in with him. But marriage is very complicated. I don't want that label to ruin what is beautiful between us. How do I convince him that we can love each other without getting married?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are right, it is entirely possible to love each other forever without labelling it as a marriage but he is also right to want a commitment that is on paper as well. This is one of those situations where neither of you is wrong. You can try and explain your side in case your partner gets serious about getting married, but trying to convince him to give up what he wants is not fair. It is a tricky situation but I believe that clear communication from right now can dodge some unnecessary complications which might arise once your partner doesn’t just say “we should get married too” and moves on to “will you marry me?” Please have an open discussion about your views on marriage and his, and try to find a middle ground so that your relationship does not get affected.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 04, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2026Hindi

Girls reject me because I am not so tall and handsome. I am 41, single. I have a 9 to 6 job earning 12 lakhs per annum. I lost my dad and live with my mother. My younger sister is married and has two kids. Somehow I have not been lucky with online dating. Girls reject me beause I am average in looks and salary. I am 5 ft 1 inch. I don't have any special talent or passion. I have tried to take up singing, art, dance, gym but it's not working for me. I go to temples with my mom, I do social work on weekends to keep myself positive and busy. When it comes to dating and marriage, it is disappointing sometimes. I am afraid to express myself to girls now. I don't judge anyone but how do I find someone who understands me, beyond my looks and salary. My mother is 64, I also need a companion. Is it too much to expect?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First let me reassure you that you are not asking for much. Wanting love and wanting someone who sees you beyond your looks and salary is very natural. You have faced rejections and it hurts; it does create a kind of fear, and right now that fear is stopping you from approaching anyone or hoping that someone will love you for who you are. It’s not the reality; it’s the fear speaking and it’s totally understandable. Let me address all the issues one by one. Yes, height can be important for some women, but not all. The ones who rejected you for it, were not meant for you. You don’t need everyone to accept you; you only need the right woman. Second, 12LPA salary is not average. The expectation online is very inflated. If you are doing an honest day’s work and earning a decent amount and taking care of your needs and your family’s as well, that does not make your earning average. Third, caring for your mother is your biggest strength in personality. You work, take care of your mom, do social work, and you are consistently trying to improve yourself. That’s far deeper than physical appearance. Now, I suggest that you stop trying to mold yourself into someone women would find attractive but rather continue working on yourself for yourself. That would spike your confidence and confidence is key. Most people, not just women, might be initially attracted to looks but for the longer run, they want someone who is dependable and responsible, and you are that. So next time you seek a partner, look for someone who is not only looking to date but to settle down. Someone who has the same clarity as you; someone mature, who understands the importance of strong character traits than mere physical appearance. Your frustration and fear is valid, but don’t let it make you go inside a shell. You deserve everything and you will get them.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2026Hindi

I had a woman colleague whom I was very close with her.I had lots of interactions with her daily lunch outing lunch etc..but we both are in early 40s both r married and having kids.We had a special liking don't know beyond it.I was crazy on her and always thinking of her.She resigned and got relieved gave her gifts etc..I used to pick her drop her etc..But after resigned I was in constant touch with her and she never told me where she joined.One day I called her and she didn't pick the call and when I wrote hope ur busy she wrote a nasty message stating I was searching her where she went and didn't che k with her and I will show this message to entire world etc ..she wrote ..I tried to convince them topic changed but this hurt me very very badly with sleepless nights.I have done lots lots and help to her during her tenure but she was selfish and threw me with bad intentions.Then after few days I also wrote ur a opportunity,selfish and then I helped u etc and we had a complete split she returned my gift amount and I paid for her charity which she collects for the year.But anyways not able to move away from our thoughts even though we have completely split and both blocked out numbers etc..Let me know how to come out from this iam so depressed not in a mood to do anything..

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am not sure if you mean you both have romantic feelings for each other or just friendly. If it’s romantic, I am not sure I can help because in that case, you should be working on your marriages and figuring out what’s lacking in your relationship that you are seeking love and attention from a colleague. If the feelings are romantic, moving on from your colleague should be the least of your worries and working on your marriage your priority.

But if you mean you and your colleague were close friends, and you can’t move on from the friendship, then I am sorry you are in such a tricky situation. Sometimes people forget about all the good things we do for them; people forget friendships. It happens and it’s unfair. I know moving on from some friendships can be difficult but with time it will not feel much of a loss, especially when you understand that they were never your real friend.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 05, 2026Hindi

My partner wants an open relationship. I don't know what that means. He says we can get married but we can continue to date other people. Means he can date another girl and I can date someone else. What is the point of getting married then? I found it very confusing. Why would anyone agree to this? I have known him for 5 years now but this clause is making me doubt his intentions. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your confusion is understandable. It is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people do opt for an open relationship but the most important thing for that to work is that both the partners are on board with it. In your case, you are not. So I would suggest you be honest about your feelings here and let him know that you are not comfortable with open marriage. See what he says. I would also urge you to rethink this marriage and be very cautious about whatever you decide.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 27, 2026Hindi

Why does my girlfriend always tell me that other boys flirt with her? We are in a relationship, and I really love her, but I don’t understand why she keeps bringing this up. It makes me feel uncomfortable and sometimes insecure. Is she trying to make me jealous, get attention, or test my feelings? What should I do in this situation?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There can be various reasons behind this: for starters, maybe she is trying to be honest and transparent with you. Second, you might be right and she is actually trying to make you feel jealous. People can sometimes feel a lack of attention in a relationship and resort to different ways of gaining it. The best thing that you can do here is talk to her about it. Have an open conversation about how this makes you feel and also ask her why she always tells you about it. If she says that it is her being honest; there you go, you have your answer. If she admits that she is trying to make you jealous, then you need to have a deeper conversation about why she feels the need to do so, and where you or the relationship is lacking.

Hope this helps

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 19, 2026

Question by Chaitanya - Feb 18, 2026Hindi

Sir my ex is reinter in my life

Ans: Dear Chaitanya,

I understand that it's a tricky situation. I cannot help you much without a little more details on how you feel about the situation or how things ended, but I can tell one thing: please tread carefully. If things ended badly, please try not to get back into the old pattern. Even if you want to try things again with your ex, please have an open conversation about everything that went wrong last time and set clear boundaries early on.

Hope this helps.

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi

Hi, My Marriage Ends in 1 month after marriage and mutual Divorce was Completed without any strong reasons, Wife went to her home by giving their own reasons like compactability issue.In court and during Divorce process she fully cooperated and we are good friends during the court process also.Divorce was completed,but now she is in contact with me regularly and almost everyday calls me.by her conversations,it seems she is very much regreting for ending the marriage .i don't know why she is in contact with me.please suggest what i need to do?i am very much confuse.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes people regret separation and divorce and living apart helps them with a different perspective to evaluate their decisions. Obviously there was an issue due to which the marriage ended; the reason may still exist and hence right now there is no question of getting back together until the point the two of you iron out differences and work on what ended your marriage.
But, take your time, process this event and if you feel that your marriage can have a second chance, do that only if you have healed and understood what went wrong the first time...Your wife also needs to be in the same place as you in terms of wanting to understand what exactly happened.
Also you don't exactly need to talk everyday and complicate your life...
Breathe, take a pause and live your life...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi

My child is 13 years old and studies in school. Over the past few weeks, I have noticed small but clear changes constant smiling while looking at the phone, waiting eagerly for school in the morning, and repeatedly mentioning the same classmate during conversations. Homework now takes longer, marks have slightly dropped, and the class teacher has shared that my child seems distracted in class. When I gently try to ask what’s going on, my child becomes shy, avoids eye contact, and changes the topic, making me unsure how much to intervene. As a parent, I feel confused and worried, but I don’t want to scold or break my child’s trust.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your child is not a child anymore and is growing up to notice people around and feel a certain interest in them. A natural phase where youngsters start to obsess more about themselves, their thoughts and act in ways that may seem strange to parents. Yes, school and studies may not be a focus, but that will change over time when they learn ti manage their social expectations and academics as well.
In the meantime, talk to your child; listen even if they are silent, be with them. Most often they need that love and reassurance that their parents love them unconditionally and are on their side as they navigate the adolescence phase...just be with your child :)

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna |1785 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2026

Question by Kritika - Feb 05, 2026Hindi

Hey mam!! Mera 7 years ka relationship hai or muje pichle 2 saalo se overthinking anxiety ho rahi thi ki mere parents humari intercaste marriage ke liye mangenge ya nhi abhi kuch jada hi anxiety hone lagi thi to mene apki maa se bata diya unhone bhaut hi negative answer diya tab se meri anxiety or bhi jada badh gayi muje thoughts aate h ki ab breakup kar lena chahiye parents nhi manenge ye galat hai breakup kar lena chahiye sab end kar dena chahiye

Ans: Dear Kritika,
Ab relationship banane waqt yeh anxiety kahaan thi? Ab yeh sochke pareshaan hone ke bajaai, yeh socho ki is maamle ko kaise suljhaaya jaaye. Apne partner aur tum milke is samasya ko ek acche anjaam tak pahunchke ke liye baithke ek raasta dhoondhe. Bas apni Maa se baat ki aur ghabraa gayi? Har ghar mein relationship ko khule dil se apnaya nahin jaata...
Apne partner se kahe ki woh bhi koshish karein jab aap apne family se baat karne wali hain...
Anxiety se aapki pareshaani aur badhegi, isse accha joga ki plan banaaye aur tayyar rahein...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 17, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi

Hi Sir, My married life has been a complete disaster its been 1.8 yrs. Before marriage, I had only one past relationship. My husband repeatedly asked if I had any physical relationship before marriage. I denied it initially, and when I asked him about his past, he vaguely said he had dated three women for about three months each. Whenever I asked directly about physical involvement or even something as simple as kissing, he avoided the topic or changed the subject. On the first day of our arranged marriage, after intimacy, he said something that confused me. I was already scared and anxious. Later, when he asked me to share something I had never told anyone, I told him the truth—that my past relationship involved physical intimacy, and that it was forced, not by my choice. After that, his behavior completely changed. He stopped talking to me, even during our honeymoon. We were intimate only twice, but emotionally he was completely absent. I cried constantly. After returning home, he started avoiding me, leaving the house despite working from home. He verbally abused me, made derogatory comments about my character, and threatened to tell my parents and divorce me, accusing me of hiding my past. He even went on a Europe trip alone for 15 days, barely contacting me, which made me fear he was cheating. Due to constant fights and emotional abuse, I started looking into his past and discovered disturbing things—multiple physical relationships (8–9), emails linked to prostitutes, a banned Tinder account he tried to restore even after our engagement, and trips with an ex just days before our engagement. He called her “just a friend,” but the evidence said otherwise. I also found intimate photos and videos of his exes saved on his hard disk, even though they were many years old. Despite all this, he continued to accuse and defame me in front of his parents, saying I lied about my past, while he had never disclosed his own. What I saw and experienced has deeply scarred me, and I feel he never had any emotional attachment to me from the beginning. Ever since I told him the truth, he has shown no care, no empathy, and no love. I am left questioning—was I wrong to look into his past when I was being emotionally abused and accused? Or is he simply not the right person for me, someone who lacks emotional maturity, honesty, and compassion?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry you are in this situation. We can't control or change our past. You were with someone in your past because you believed things will work out with that person. That is completely normal. Whereas, your husband has been dragging his past relationships even after your engagement. It's completely different and borderline cheating. Please rethink whether you want to continue living like this. Confront him directly and show him the proof that you have found. Ask him if your past is so open to criticism, then what about his? Please have a direct and open conversation. A healthy marriage is based on trust and honesty.

Hope this helps.

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Dr Upneet Kaur |80 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 17, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi

I am a 35-year-old office-going husband living in Pune, India, and something confusing happened at home recently. My wife scolded me strongly after noticing multiple online payments, assuming I was wasting money irresponsibly. In reality, the spending was on anime subscriptions and collectibles, which I see as a harmless hobby and a way to relax after work, but I never clearly explained this to her. She feels the money should be saved for family needs, while I feel misunderstood and judged for something I enjoy. How can I talk calmly about money, personal interests, and boundaries so that disagreements do not turn into blame and emotional distance?

Ans: Hello sir. I hope you are in good health.
Hobbies are a very important part of our life which really help us to remain connected to ourselves. In today's world all are just after the social media and mobiles and they have taken the place of hobbies in most of our lives. I am really glad that you are following some of your hobbies.
Well coming to your problem, you can talk to your wife after deciding that x part of your income will be spend on your hobby. This way you ll be able to create boundaries and she will also understand that you are not spending extra money on your hobbies.
In addition to that, you take her into confidence that you are saving money for family also which is definitely most important.
I hope this solves your problem.
Take care
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Dr Upneet Kaur |80 Answers |Ask -Follow

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 17, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi

I have been close friends with him for years, and I also know his girlfriend well through the same circle. Recently, during a weekend outing, the three of us went out for dinner. After it got late, my friend asked me to drop his girlfriend home on my bike since I live nearby and he had to go another way. While riding back, we talked casually about work, music, and life, and I noticed myself feeling unusually happy and emotionally connected in that moment. On another day, the same thing happened after a movie night, and each time I felt “chosen” or gifted, even though nothing inappropriate happened. Later, guilt hit me hard because I know she is my friend’s partner, and I don’t want to betray his trust or cross any line, yet my feelings keep growing silently. What is the right way to deal with these feelings?

Ans: Hello mam. Mam, your query is not clear. Kindly make it more clear so that I can understand it.
Regards

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2026Hindi

My boyfriend does not have a stable job, but he wants me to move in with him. We have been in a relationship for two years, and because he travels frequently for work, he feels living together will help us spend more time as a couple. He works as a freelance product photographer and regularly travels to cities like Pune, Delhi, Bangalore, Ahmedabad, and Chennai. I’m unsure whether moving in with an unstable partner is a practical decision or if finances and career stability should come first. Should I agree to live together in this situation, or wait until he has a more secure job?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are being careful and that makes perfect sense. I would suggest having an open discussion about the same with your partner. In a polite and kind manner, put forward your concerns. For instance, ask him about the times when he doesn’t get freelance gigs, how will you two manage financially. Hear him out; he might actually have a plan for those phases. Communicating about things and figuring it out together brings people closer.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2026Hindi

I want to create a personal gift for my husband on Valentine's Day. His birthday is also coming up in two weeks. He loves beer and football. Ours was an arranged marriage and we have a 3 year old son. I want to invite his friends over for his birthday. What do you think I can gift him for Valentine's?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As I tell all, keep it meaningful instead of expensive. You can focus on your arranged-to-love lovestory and create a memory box full of handwritten notes and polaroid photos that tell your lovestory perfectly. Or, since he is a football fan, you can give him a jersey with his name, or with “best husband and father” trophy. Or a customized beer mug. For his birthday, a football themed cake. The options are infinite. Just think what would make it memorable and go with your instinct. I am sure no one can think of a better gift for your husband than you.

Best Wishes.

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Shalini Singh |187 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2026Hindi

My GF is upset I don't post her pictures on social media. I am an introvert and I rarely use social media but she feels that I am not happy around her. I don't understand the point of clicking happy pictures. I am happy spending time with her. I am comfortable around my GF but she likes to dress up, go on dates and click pictures which I find very annoying sometimes. I like to keep some things personal and private but she is the opposite. How to convince her that this is who I am? If we click pics, I look uncomfortable and then she complains that she has nothing to post on social media.

Ans: Here is a question for you - Have you explained this to her - about you not feeling comfortable sharing pictures on social media or do you assume she will understand why you are not doing so...here is a request - sit her down and share with her your reason of you not sharing things on social media and ask her not to get upset about it and if she wishes to post that is her choice.

Do keep in mind, this can become a cause of rift if she does not comprehend and respect your this ask.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2026Hindi

I started dating someone just six weeks ago. Valentine’s Day is around the corner and I'm confused about Valentine gift ideas. I don’t want to look too eager, but I also don’t want to seem like I don't care or pamper enough. Can you suggest some safe Valentine gifting tips for a new relationship?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since your relationship is new, something thoughtful that says “I am really enjoying this” would be the best idea. Focus on personal gifts, not the price. Something your partner really likes; a book or a movie merchandise. Or you can cook or bake something, or her favorite snacks with handwritten notes stuck to them. The key here is balance; sweet but not extravagant. That can be overwhelming.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi Mittal |718 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2026Hindi

I am a college student with a monthly pocket money of Rs 500. My girlfriend is secretly expecting a big Valentine gift, but I can't afford expensive things. She doesn't like roses or chocolates. Can you suggest some meaningful Valentine gifting ideas that look and feel big but are within my budget. I can spend up to Rs 800, not more.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Expensive gifts don’t matter. You are here, asking me about ideas; that’s effort. That is what matters here. But since your partner is expecting something big, why not gift her in experience? Plan a picnic; you can cook or bake her something, or plan a sunset date. Please don’t worry about expensive gifts because the price tag should not determine how much you care about someone.

Hope this helps.

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Kanchan Rai |657 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi

My office friends Riya and Aman have been in a relationship for two years, but lately misunderstandings have increased because Aman feels ignored when plans are cancelled, while Riya feels stressed and unheard due to her work pressure. Instead of openly discussing their feelings, both remain silent, which creates emotional distance between them. In this situation, how can honest and respectful communication help them resolve their disagreement, and how can listening, patience, and understanding strengthen their relationship rather than weaken it?

Ans: Honest and respectful communication would help them because it brings hidden emotions into the open in a safe way. Right now, Aman feels unimportant when plans are cancelled, but he isn’t saying, “I miss you and I feel lonely when we don’t spend time together.” Instead, he stays quiet and likely feels rejected inside. Riya feels overwhelmed and unsupported, but she isn’t saying, “I’m under so much pressure and I need understanding, not disappointment.” So both are suffering silently and guessing each other’s intentions.
If they start speaking from their feelings rather than from blame, the tone of the relationship will change. For example, Aman can say, “When our plans change often, I feel disconnected from you,” instead of “You never make time for me.” Riya can say, “Work is draining me and sometimes I don’t have energy, but I still care about you,” instead of “You don’t understand my stress.” This kind of language opens hearts instead of creating defensiveness.
Listening is equally important. Many couples listen only to reply, not to understand. If Aman truly listens to Riya’s stress without interrupting or minimizing it, she will feel emotionally safe. If Riya listens to Aman’s need for time and reassurance without dismissing it, he will feel valued. Feeling heard is often more healing than any solution.
Patience matters because emotional habits don’t change overnight. They both need time to adjust to each other’s needs and rhythms. If one conversation doesn’t fix everything, that doesn’t mean it failed. It means they are learning how to connect better. Relationships grow stronger when partners stay patient during uncomfortable phases instead of withdrawing.
Understanding helps them see that neither is the enemy. Aman is not “needy,” he is seeking connection. Riya is not “careless,” she is overwhelmed. When they understand each other’s inner world, they stop taking things personally and start working as a team.
If they begin communicating honestly, listening with empathy, and responding with patience, their relationship will not weaken — it will deepen. Conflict handled with respect creates trust. Silence creates distance. Talking with care creates intimacy.

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Kanchan Rai |657 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2026Hindi

Hello Dr., Hope this mail finds you well ! I am married for the past 15 years with 2 daughters (13 & 8 yrs old) but my wife is very suspicious. From the day of our marriage till today she keeps accusing me of affairs while I never had any affairs. She keeps monitoring my mobile, whatsApp messages and laptop. In WhatsApp she has strange method, if I am online and if any other woman is online she thinks she is following me or I am messaging her. When I am on official travel she keeps calling me to check my location. I have to video call her and keep my phone ON in night when I go to bed. She suspects someone is in my room. She accuses me of having affair with any lady with whom I talk even to the extent of my sister in law. When I am working from Home she keeps the mobile phone with video ON to check what I am doing. When I go to my office I have to share my Location. She has got no evidences but still she is not able to understand me. Except for rare business travel I never go out except with my family. I do not have many friends and few which I have my wife has also accused me of having affairs with their wives. I ignore her behaviour but she also uses foul language and this is affecting me & my daughters. I consulterd few psycologists but it has not helped. I love my wife and like to help her but do not know how to handle this situation. Please advise.

Ans: I can hear that you love your wife and want to help her, and that is admirable. But love does not mean tolerating ongoing psychological control. More importantly, your daughters are growing up watching this dynamic. Children who witness constant suspicion and monitoring can internalize fear, mistrust, and unhealthy relationship models.
Your wife’s behavior sounds less like simple jealousy and more like severe insecurity or possibly paranoid thinking. When someone creates connections between random events — for example, “another woman is online at the same time so she must be messaging you” — that is not rational suspicion. It suggests deep anxiety or distorted thought patterns. This is not something you can fix through reassurance alone.
In fact, the more you comply with surveillance — video calls at night, sharing location, proving yourself repeatedly — the more you unintentionally reinforce her belief that suspicion is justified. You are feeding the cycle. Reassurance helps temporarily, but the suspicion returns stronger because the root issue is inside her, not in your behavior.
You need to shift from defending yourself to setting calm boundaries.
This does not mean shouting or threatening separation. It means saying something like: “I understand you feel anxious and I want to support you, but constant monitoring and accusations are hurting me and affecting our daughters. I will not continue video surveillance or location tracking. If you feel unsafe or anxious, we need professional help together.”
The key word is “together.” She may resist therapy because suspicious individuals often believe the problem is external, not internal. But couples therapy with someone experienced in paranoid jealousy or pathological suspicion is crucial. Regular psychologists sometimes miss the depth of such patterns. You may need a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist evaluation, especially if this behavior has lasted 15 years without change.
You also need to protect your own mental health. Living under constant accusation can cause anxiety, depression, and emotional numbness. It slowly erodes self-esteem. Consider individual therapy for yourself, not to fix her, but to strengthen your emotional boundaries and resilience.
Most importantly, do not isolate yourself further. Suspicious partners often push their spouses into social isolation. Maintain healthy friendships and professional relationships within reasonable boundaries.
Ask yourself gently: has her suspicion worsened over time? Has it extended into other areas of life? If so, this may be more than jealousy — it could be a mental health condition that requires medical support.
You cannot cure her insecurity through perfection. Even if you lock yourself in a room with no phone, the suspicion will find another story.
Your role is not to prove innocence endlessly. Your role is to protect your dignity, your daughters’ emotional safety, and encourage proper treatment.
I want to ask you something important: if nothing changes and this continues for another 10 years, what impact do you think it will have on your daughters’ understanding of marriage? That answer will guide your next step.

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Kanchan Rai |657 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 20, 2026Hindi

Hello I have just married 2 months back it was an arranged marriage during the courtship my husband often asked me for money which never returned even after marriage he continues to ask me for money with promise to return it on getting salary but has never given me a single money back few days ago he asked me ask my mother 10k saying it was for urgent need that he shall return it to my mother as soon as possible today my mother informed me that he had called her asking for 15k urging urgent matter behind my back what shall I do

Ans: What your husband is doing right now is breaking that basic trust.
Right now, you need clarity, not silence.
Have a calm but firm conversation with him as soon as possible. Choose a time when neither of you is angry. Tell him honestly: “I’m feeling disturbed and confused. You keep borrowing money from me and my mother, and it’s never returned. You also contacted my mother without telling me. This is hurting my trust. I need to understand what is really going on.”
Watch how he responds. A responsible partner will explain clearly, show records, admit mistakes, and make a concrete repayment plan. An irresponsible one will avoid, blame, get angry, or emotionally manipulate you.
Do not give him any more money until this is clarified. Not from your account, not from your family. Saying “no” is not disrespectful — it is self-protection.
Also, speak to your mother privately and ask her not to give him money directly without discussing it with you first. This is important, otherwise he may continue going behind your back.
Ask him directly about his finances. Does he have debts? Loans? Gambling habits? Business losses? Supporting someone else? You have the right to know. You are his wife, not his emergency fund.
If he refuses transparency, continues borrowing, or makes you feel guilty for asking questions, that is a red flag for financial abuse. It can grow worse over time if not stopped early.
You got married only two months ago. This is the right time to set boundaries. If you stay silent now, this pattern may become permanent.
You deserve a partner, not a burden.

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Kanchan Rai |657 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 29, 2026Hindi

76 year old male Indian North Indian Happily married Have a maid servant 28 years Has two sons Her marital life is un happy as her spouse is drunkard and abusive I feel attracted towards her A lot like love I start feeling jealous when she talks to other men. I have never been in love before But been married for 45 years. Successful business person It’s not just sexual attraction as this person is not attractive in true sense of the word But it’s the way she treats me and smiles. She’s just a maid. Maybe more. She’s intelligent and articulate. This love is doomed from day 1. But I am kinda enjoying. I just want to hug and kiss her.

Ans: What you are feeling is not about “love” in the romantic sense. It is about emotional connection, validation, and feeling seen at a stage of life where many people quietly feel invisible, lonely, or emotionally unfulfilled — even in long marriages. When someone younger shows warmth, respect, smiles, and listens, it can awaken feelings you have never experienced before. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human.
But it does mean you need to handle this with great responsibility.
There are three very important realities here.
First, there is a huge power imbalance. You are her employer, financially secure, respected, and much older. She is vulnerable — emotionally, financially, and socially. Her unhappy marriage makes her even more vulnerable. In such situations, feelings can easily get confused with safety, kindness, or dependency. Acting on your emotions, even with “just hugging or kissing,” would not be fair to her and could seriously harm her life.
Second, you are married for 45 years. Whatever difficulties may exist in your marriage, your wife has shared a lifetime with you. Acting on this attraction would betray that bond and could destroy your family’s peace, your reputation, and your own self-respect — things you have built over decades.
Third, this “enjoyment” you are feeling is temporary. It feels exciting now because it is new, forbidden, and emotionally stimulating. But it will not end well. It will lead to guilt, anxiety, fear of exposure, and emotional chaos — for you and for her.
Now let’s talk about what this feeling is really telling you.
You are craving emotional warmth, appreciation, and connection. You like how she makes you feel — respected, noticed, alive. That is the real need here. Not her. The feeling.
Instead of directing it toward someone unsafe, you need to bring that emotional energy back into your own life — toward your wife, your family, your interests, and yourself.
Here is what I strongly advise.
Create clear boundaries immediately. No flirting. No personal emotional sharing. No physical contact beyond basic courtesy. Keep the relationship strictly professional. This is protection — for both of you.
Do not confuse kindness with intimacy. You can be supportive and respectful without crossing lines.
Reconnect emotionally with your wife if possible. Share time, talk, travel, sit together, revive companionship. Many long marriages become emotionally silent, and people forget how much comfort is still there.
If you feel lonely, restless, or emotionally empty, consider speaking to a counselor. At this stage of life, many people go through emotional awakenings that are confusing. Talking helps bring clarity.
And most importantly, remember this: real love never puts another person at risk. Real dignity never depends on secrecy.
You are a successful man who has built a life. Don’t let a temporary emotional attraction weaken everything you’ve stood for.
You are strong enough to feel this — and strong enough to rise above it

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Kanchan Rai |657 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2026Hindi

I'm tired of being shouted at in my own home. My husband yells at me over small things like food, household work, or how I talk to his parents. I try to stay quiet and then something else he does triggers it even worse. What should I do to control my temper and reaction?

Ans: You’re trying to “control your temper” because somewhere inside, you’ve been made to feel that if you were calmer, quieter, more patient, things would be better. But the truth is, no amount of silence or adjustment can make constant yelling healthy. When someone keeps raising their voice over small matters, it reflects their poor emotional regulation, not your failure.
That said, learning to manage your reactions is still important — not to tolerate mistreatment, but to protect your own mental health and communicate more effectively.
In the moment when he starts shouting, your body goes into stress mode. Your heart races, your thoughts become sharp, and it becomes hard to stay calm. One simple practice is to pause your response. Take two slow breaths before speaking. Even a few seconds can prevent the situation from escalating. You can quietly say, “I will talk when you speak calmly,” and step away if possible. This is not running away — it is setting a boundary.
Outside of conflict moments, try to have a calm conversation. Choose a time when neither of you is angry. Tell him how his shouting affects you, using “I” statements: “I feel hurt and scared when you raise your voice. It makes me shut down. I want us to talk respectfully, even when we disagree.” Focus on your feelings, not on accusing him.
At the same time, work on strengthening yourself emotionally. Spend time on things that make you feel confident and valued — hobbies, friends, work, prayer, exercise, anything that reminds you that you are more than just a wife trying to keep peace. The stronger you feel inside, the less his anger will shake you.
If he is willing, suggest counseling or anger management support. Many people shout because they never learned healthier ways to express frustration. Help is possible, but only if he accepts it.
If he refuses to change and the shouting becomes constant, abusive, or threatening, please take that seriously. Emotional abuse is real, even without physical harm. You deserve a home where you feel safe and respected.
Remember: controlling your temper does not mean swallowing your pain. It means learning to respond with strength, clarity, and self-respect instead of fear or explosion.

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