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45-Year-Old Working Mom Seeks Advice on Navigating Long-Distance Relationship with Widower

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |148 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello mam, I am 45 year old single mother of 19 year old son, I am feeling loneliness and have searched a partner as like I wanted, he is widower having two children, but problem is that we both are working and well settled with our permanent government jobs, my job is not transferring job and he doesn't want to move due to his kids education and his job...we both want to marry with each other, but we are helpless right now...due to this situation I again getting very anxious and tense... what should I do? Please show me a path...

Ans: Stop getting anxious and tense. You should feel nice that you have met someone and you get along. Focus on the job, on your children, on YOURSELF and on each other.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 15, 2024

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Hello Madam, i am 38 year married women, having a 15year 1 kid boy ( but my husband not loving me even he is not talking with me from the last 8 years but we r leaving together due to our son, he fulfilled the need with the responsibilities of our home and our son but as wife he is not talking and even not caring to me ,but before 2 years back one married man come to talk with me he is my official colleague and we both attached a lot with each other after some days he proposed me and said that he is loving me many years ago but he thought that i am very Strick person will not response him, but now he is saying that he wants me as a life partner me also every time he treat me like a wife very much caring and loving nature now i introduce him to my family as a friend and family members also very happy with taking to him, we are from 2 year together is it good or what should i do further?
Ans: Dear Ruta,
You want to get into a relationship with a married man? Will that not complicate your already complicated life?
You certainly deserve to be loved and taken care of BUT do not jump towards a married man...you do understand that his priorities will lie with his first family and this will hurt you again and you will feel neglected AGAIN...

What is he planning with his marriage? Does his wife know about your relationship? Is he going to end his marriage and then marry you? These questions need answers and then you can decide for yourself keeping in mind that you need to take of yourself emotionally in this second association.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2025Hindi
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Sir Namaskar. I need 10 lac. I can put around 15-20k every month. I am now at 57. Please suggest me the way out. Regards
Ans: You need Rs. 10 lakh.
You can invest Rs. 15K–20K per month.
You are 57 years old.
A structured approach will help you reach your goal efficiently. The right investment choices, tenure, and risk management will be key.

Assessing the Timeframe
If you need Rs. 10 lakh within 3 years, a low-risk strategy is better.
If you have 5+ years, you can take moderate risk for better returns.
Your risk appetite, income stability, and other financial commitments also matter.
Short-term and long-term plans need different strategies.

Choosing the Right Investment Strategy
Low-Risk Approach (For 3 Years or Less)
Bank recurring deposits (RDs) offer stable but low returns.
Short-term debt mutual funds give slightly better returns than RDs.
Fixed deposits (FDs) in small finance banks provide higher interest.
Corporate bonds of high-rated companies can offer fixed income.
These options are safe but may not beat inflation.

Moderate-Risk Approach (For 3–5 Years)
Conservative hybrid mutual funds balance equity and debt.
Dynamic bond funds adjust based on interest rate changes.
Post office savings schemes offer security but fixed returns.
Gold ETFs can act as a hedge against inflation.
Moderate risk gives better returns than FDs but needs periodic review.

Growth-Oriented Approach (For 5+ Years)
Actively managed flexicap mutual funds allow growth with risk control.
Large & midcap funds balance safety and higher returns.
SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) after 5+ years can give monthly income.
Sectoral funds (like pharma, IT) are riskier but can boost returns.
Long-term investing helps wealth grow faster than inflation.

Managing Liquidity and Emergency Needs
Always keep 6 months’ expenses in a savings account or liquid fund.
Avoid investing all your money in one asset class.
Keep some investments easy to withdraw in case of emergencies.
Liquidity management ensures financial stability while you invest.

Tax Efficiency in Investments
Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.
Equity mutual funds have 12.5% LTCG tax after Rs. 1.25 lakh gains.
FDs have TDS if interest crosses Rs. 40K (Rs. 50K for senior citizens).
Choosing tax-efficient instruments will maximize net returns.
Tax planning helps in retaining more earnings.

Retirement Considerations While Investing
Since you are 57, your investment should not affect retirement savings.
If your pension or other income is fixed, don’t take excess risk.
If you have additional savings, you can afford a balanced approach.
Avoid investing everything in equity unless you have surplus funds.
Retirement safety should be a priority while planning for Rs. 10 lakh.

Practical Investment Plan Based on Timeframe
If Needed in 3 Years
50% in short-term debt funds.
30% in fixed deposits or post office schemes.
20% in high-rated corporate bonds.
Low risk with steady returns.

If Needed in 5 Years
50% in conservative hybrid funds.
30% in large & midcap equity funds.
20% in short-term debt funds.
Balanced risk with potential growth.

If Needed in 7+ Years
60% in actively managed equity funds.
20% in hybrid funds for stability.
20% in gold ETFs or debt funds.
Higher risk but better long-term gains.

Avoiding Common Investment Mistakes
Don't keep all savings in FDs, as they give low post-tax returns.
Avoid high-risk stocks or thematic funds if you need funds soon.
Never invest emergency funds in volatile assets.
Review investments annually to stay aligned with the goal.
A disciplined approach prevents financial stress.

Finally
Your Rs. 10 lakh goal is achievable with systematic investing.
Choose the right asset mix based on your timeframe and risk level.
Keep tax efficiency, liquidity, and retirement security in mind.
Regular review and professional guidance will optimize your returns.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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