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45-Year-Old Working Mom Seeks Advice on Navigating Long-Distance Relationship with Widower

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |132 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello mam, I am 45 year old single mother of 19 year old son, I am feeling loneliness and have searched a partner as like I wanted, he is widower having two children, but problem is that we both are working and well settled with our permanent government jobs, my job is not transferring job and he doesn't want to move due to his kids education and his job...we both want to marry with each other, but we are helpless right now...due to this situation I again getting very anxious and tense... what should I do? Please show me a path...

Ans: Stop getting anxious and tense. You should feel nice that you have met someone and you get along. Focus on the job, on your children, on YOURSELF and on each other.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1186 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a widow woman, who lost my husband 4 yrs ago. I tokk some time to come out of the past n wanted to resettle. Not because family wants, but I personally wanted a partner a friend who is there for me. I have a friend who is very close to me, he claims that he loves me as a very good friend, we've had a deeper relation also, but he does not want to take it ahead for a commitment. At the same time he says that he never want to leave me n so on. I have expressed my feelings and he is well aware of it. We talk a lot, we know about our families. Pls advise, about how to go ahead with this
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am happy that you are in a better mind space now to be able to process your life and what you want from it.

Your friend that you mentioned about seems to be clear on what he wants out of the association with you. Since you seem to have moved on to the feelings part, he either is denying his feelings to himself OR he is clear that he wants a friend in you.
If it is the latter, then respect it...it's great to have a genuine friend in this digital era. Maintain that distance so that he is not scared of your feelings getting in the way where he has to be on guard.
This is going to be difficult for you for sure, BUT know that you will have a friend who will respect and cherish you.

Though, I am not clear on what you meant by, 'we've had a deeper relation also'...If this 'deeper relation' is the one that has caused you to have feelings for him, then talk about it and figure out where things stand for the two of you...At the end of the day, it's about acceptance and respect to maintain precious relationships.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1186 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 02, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Madam. I am married from last one and half years now, there has been numerous fights in between small and big ones both. In between this time I have become a mother, and, my baby is 7 months old now. My husband does nothing, did nothing in past one and half years. He is only occupied with his work all the time, he goes to office everyday mostly. Right now my baby is 7 months old and from last 7 months me and my parents are taking care of the baby. And, he absolutely shows no understanding when it comes to looking after the baby. Am also a working person. Moreover I pay all the bills when it comes to getting household stuff, paying rent, all the expenses related to baby. He is so shameless that he just doesn’t care too, when I pick these topics or raise concerns about handling the baby he gets abusive. I am not sure what to do now! How insensible can a person get if no one sees my husband would never feel that person like him exist in this world. I feel like filing a divorce petition now. He was the one who wanted to have baby so soon. I was never ready. Now when I have the baby I am the only person along with my parents and sister looking after the baby.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your husband wants a family without responsibilities and that's why neither is he interested in the baby nor in paying the bills...This is not just insensitivity but lack of emotional immaturity and the unwillingness to take on responsibilities head on...Approach a senior male member within the family who is someone that has been a role model to others in terms executing family responsibilities and is also caring and affectionate. This person can appeal to your husband and talk some sense into him.

If there's no one that fits the bill, the only option is to go to a professional for Couples Therapy. There's a reason why your husband avoids his duties as a husband and father and that needs to be uncovered and sorted out. It will also help the two of bond and connect better. Make this attempt before jumping into divorce; separating is a whole different world that comes with its own set of challenges and with the baby now in the picture, work at the marriage and putting things together.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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