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Archana

Archana Deshpande

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer 

136 Answers | 52 Followers

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more

Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2026
Career
I have taken a 12th-grade drop year, and this year I have to take admission. But my parents are not supporting me. Last year also, because of all these issues, my admission got delayed, and this year again, no one in my family is taking it seriously. They don't allow me to meet anyone or even go outside the house. They don't even let me go to the terrace. They keep saying, "Whatever you want to achieve, do it from home. People who really want to succeed can do it from anywhere." I don't have any problem studying from home. In fact, after my drop year, I started preparing for CA, and everything was going well initially. But after a few months, my mother started taking away my phone. She wouldn't let me talk to anyone, go outside, or even step onto the terrace. Along with that, there was a lot of mental and emotional abuse. My mother uses extremely abusive and degrading language toward me, and it has become very difficult for me to handle. Because of the constant verbal abuse and emotional stress, I often can't concentrate on my studies. Whenever I study peacefully for two days, the same traumatic cycle starts all over again the next day. This only happens to me in my family. I am the only daughter after my two elder brothers. I can't even share these things with anyone because none of my friends have to go through anything like this. Sometimes, if I simply go to the terrace, my mother starts shouting at me and uses extremely abusive language. Even if I use my phone only for studying, I am not allowed to keep it. I can't even talk to someone to refresh my mind or reduce stress, and I'm not allowed to meet my friends or go outside either. Sometimes, it becomes so overwhelming that I feel like I don't want to live in this house anymore. I feel trapped, emotionally exhausted, and completely isolated. All I want is a peaceful environment where I can study, focus on my future, and live with basic freedom and dignity.
Ans: Hi!!

I want you to understand that your desire to study, build a career and have some basic freedom is absolutely justified. You are not asking for too much. You are asking for an environment where you can concentrate on your studies, take decisions about your future and live with dignity.

From what you have shared, I feel your problem is not your ability to study or your willingness to work hard. You have already proved that you can prepare for CA and stay focused when things are going well. The real concern here is the environment in which you are expected to study.

You really need to understand that a peaceful mind is essential for effective learning. When you are constantly exposed to shouting, abusive language and emotional stress, it becomes difficult to concentrate, regardless of how determined you are to succeed. So please don't blame yourself for struggling with your studies. You are trying to focus on your future while simultaneously dealing with a very distressing situation at home.
Having said that, I would like you to think about something important. Your education and your future cannot remain on hold because of the circumstances you are facing today. You have already lost valuable time because of delays in admission, and I don't want you to lose another year waiting for things to improve on their own.
You need support, and you need to take practical steps towards securing your future.
First, identify a trusted adult who can understand your situation and help you. It could be a relative, a teacher, a former school counsellor or another responsible person you feel comfortable approaching. Please don't assume that nobody will understand you simply because your friends may not be experiencing the same difficulties. You don't have to deal with this alone.

Second, make your admission a priority. Find out the courses available to you, the eligibility requirements, the deadlines and the documents you need. If you cannot manage the process independently, seek help from a trusted adult who can guide you. You need a concrete plan rather than being caught in the same cycle of conflict and uncertainty.

Third, please understand that respecting your parents does not mean accepting abusive behaviour as something you deserve. You can love your family and still recognise that certain words and behaviours are hurting you. You don't have to fight or argue with your mother to prove your point. When things become heated, try to avoid escalating the situation and prioritise your emotional and physical safety.

And finally, please don't isolate yourself emotionally. You need someone with whom you can talk openly, someone who can listen without judging you. If the situation at home continues to feel unbearable, a counsellor or a trusted adult outside the family can help you work through it and explore safe options.

Remember, this difficult phase of your life does not define your future. You have ambitions, you want to study, and you want to become independent. Hold on to those goals, but don't feel that you have to achieve everything through sheer willpower while dealing with this distress alone.

Your future matters. Your mental well-being matters. And you deserve to live with dignity.

I would like to ask you two important questions -
* First, are you physically safe at home, or has the abuse ever become physical?
*Second, is there any trusted relative, teacher or other adult who could help you with your admission process?
I am asking because I want you to have advice that is practical for your situation, not just words of encouragement

Tc ! Best wishes always..
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Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2026
Career
I studied in an English-medium school, but during school and college most of my friends and even teachers were more comfortable speaking Hindi, so that became my natural communication language. Now after many years, I work in an office where English is used much more regularly. I can understand English and I can write basic things, but when I have to speak suddenly, I sometimes struggle to find the right words. Even for a simple question to a colleague, I first rehearse the sentence in my mind two or three times before saying it. If someone suddenly asks me something in English, I sometimes fumble even though I know what I want to say. I also depend quite a lot on ChatGPT to help me frame emails, messages and sometimes even replies because I worry about making grammar mistakes or sounding less professional. Recently, a new girl joined our office who speaks very confidently in English and seems more comfortable talking to people who are also very fluent or part of what feels like an ‘elite’ group. She does speak with us, but not as much, and sometimes I become more conscious about my own English when I see how naturally she communicates. I know everyone has a different communication style, but this has made me wonder whether my lack of fluency is affecting how people perceive me at work. How can I improve my spoken English and workplace communication so that I can speak spontaneously and confidently without mentally preparing every sentence first?
Ans: Hi!!!
First of all, you need to understand that being fluent in English does not necessarily mean being a good communicator. Communication is about how effectively you express your thoughts, ideas and feelings, and not merely about the language you speak.
From what you have shared, I feel your problem is not that you don't know English, but that you have become conscious of your English. The more you worry about making grammatical mistakes or using the wrong words, the more you hold yourself back. And the more you hold yourself back, the less opportunity you give yourself to become fluent.
You really need to ask yourself this question: Am I more concerned about communicating my thoughts, or about how people will judge my English? The moment you start worrying about the latter, you shift your focus from what you want to say to how you should say it. That is where the hesitation begins.
Remember, you don't have to speak perfect English to communicate confidently. You need to be clear, comfortable and willing to express yourself. Even people who speak English very fluently make grammatical mistakes, fumble for words and struggle to articulate their thoughts at times. It is perfectly normal!
So, what do you need to do?
Start speaking in English more often, even when you know your sentences may not be perfect. Don't rehearse every sentence in your mind before speaking. Allow yourself to think and speak at the same time. Initially, you may fumble, pause or use simpler words, but that is absolutely fine. Fluency comes with practice, not with the constant fear of making mistakes.
Make English a part of your everyday life. Speak to your colleagues in English, participate in conversations, share your opinions in meetings and practise expressing your thoughts aloud. Read aloud, listen to good English speakers and try summarising what you have read or heard in your own words. These small, consistent efforts will help you develop greater spontaneity and confidence.
And about using ChatGPT to frame your emails and messages — there is absolutely nothing wrong with using a tool to improve your communication. However, don't let the tool become a substitute for your own ability to think and express yourself. Try drafting your message first, and then use ChatGPT to refine it. Observe the changes, understand why they were made and gradually incorporate those learnings into your own communication.
As far as the new girl in your office is concerned, please don't allow her fluency to become a yardstick against which you Hi!!!
First of all, you need to understand that being fluent in English does not necessarily mean being a good communicator. Communication is about how effectively you express your thoughts, ideas and feelings, and not merely about the language you speak.
From what you have shared, I feel your problem is not that you don't know English, but that you have become conscious of your English. The more you worry about making grammatical mistakes or using the wrong words, the more you hold yourself back. And the more you hold yourself back, the less opportunity you give yourself to become fluent.
You really need to ask yourself this question: Am I more concerned about communicating my thoughts, or about how people will judge my English? The moment you start worrying about the latter, you shift your focus from what you want to say to how you should say it. That is where the hesitation begins.
Remember, you don't have to speak perfect English to communicate confidently. You need to be clear, comfortable and willing to express yourself. Even people who speak English very fluently make grammatical mistakes, fumble for words and struggle to articulate their thoughts at times. It is perfectly normal!
So, what do you need to do?
Start speaking in English more often, even when you know your sentences may not be perfect. Don't rehearse every sentence in your mind before speaking. Allow yourself to think and speak at the same time. Initially, you may fumble, pause or use simpler words, but that is absolutely fine. Fluency comes with practice, not with the constant fear of making mistakes.
Make English a part of your everyday life. Speak to your colleagues in English, participate in conversations, share your opinions in meetings and practise expressing your thoughts aloud. Read aloud, listen to good English speakers and try summarising what you have read or heard in your own words. These small, consistent efforts will help you develop greater spontaneity and confidence.
And about using ChatGPT to frame your emails and messages — there is absolutely nothing wrong with using a tool to improve your communication. However, don't let the tool become a substitute for your own ability to think and express yourself. Try drafting your message first, and then use ChatGPT to refine it. Observe the changes, understand why they were made and gradually incorporate those learnings into your own communication.
As far as the new girl in your office is concerned, please don't allow her fluency to become a yardstick against which you measure yourself. She may be more comfortable speaking English, but that does not make her more intelligent, more capable or a better professional than you. Everyone has a different background, different experiences and a different starting point.
Stop comparing, start practising and, most importantly, stop underestimating yourself.
You have already identified what you need to improve, and that is the first step towards change. Now, give yourself the opportunity to work on it without being overly critical of yourself.
Remember, the objective is not to impress people with your English. It is to express yourself with confidence, clarity and conviction.
When you stop trying to speak perfect English and start focusing on communicating effectively, you will gradually find your voice!
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Answered on Oct 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2026
Career
I recently received feedback at work that I should be more assertive. The strange part is that I don’t consider myself shy - I speak when I have something to say and I’m quite comfortable with my colleagues. But the problem comes when I have a different opinion from someone senior. For example, last week during a team meeting, my manager suggested doing something in a particular way. I could clearly see one issue with the approach and had a different suggestion in mind, but when it was my turn to speak, I said something like, ‘Yes, that should be okay, maybe we can try it,’ instead of clearly explaining what I actually felt. Later, I discussed the same point with a colleague and realised I had actually been right about the concern, but by then the decision was already made. This happens with me quite often - I don’t want to sound argumentative or disrespectful, so I automatically soften my words and sometimes end up agreeing even when I genuinely have another opinion. How can I become more assertive in these situations, speak confidently to senior people and put forward a different viewpoint without coming across as rude, aggressive or overconfident?
Ans: Hi!!

*Being assertive does not mean being aggressive or disrespectful* It means expressing your thoughts and feelings confidently and respectfully!

If you hesitate to disagree, consider whether you fear judgment, offending the person, or challenging their authority! Identifying the cause can help you address it. Respecting someone’s position does not require agreeing with every opinion; your perspective may reveal something they have overlooked.

When you have a concern, pause, organise your thoughts, and state them clearly. For example: *“I understand your approach\. However, I have a concern we may want to consider before proceeding.”” You can be polite without being apologetic and respectful without being submissive.

Practise expressing your views in smaller situations. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but confidence will grow with experience.Trust your judgement and speak up when your input matters. You can disagree with someone without disrespecting them—that is true assertiveness!

Remember assertiveness is about respecting yourself and the other person equally! Understanding that you have as much right to express your opinion as the other person .
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Answered on Sep 30, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2026
Career
I'm generally a confident person at work, but when it comes to relationships I constantly compare myself with other couples. Social media makes it worse because everyone seems happier, more romantic and more successful than us. How should I stop using other people’s relationships as a measuring stick for my own?
Ans: Hi!!

It’s wonderful to know that you are a confident person at work. But when it comes to your personal life and your relationship with your partner, you feel that confidence is missing. So, the first question you really need to ask yourself is: “Why?”

What is it about your relationship that is making you feel this way? Is there something you are missing? Is there something you wish were different? Once you identify the reason, take charge of it. Address it, work on it, and find a way to resolve it.

But remember, you don’t have to do this alone. A relationship involves two people, so your partner needs to be a part of this journey too. Sit down together, talk openly and honestly, without blaming or judging each other. Set some individual goals as well as goals for your relationship, and consciously work towards them together. You can build confidence in your personal life just as you have built it in your professional life.

And I have a simple philosophy in life: Do not compare yourself or your relationship with others if that comparison makes you feel inadequate or pulls you down.

However, if someone inspires you and makes you think, “I would love to have that in my life too,” then use that feeling positively. Let it motivate you to work towards what you want.

Your relationship is sacred and unique. Don’t diminish it by constantly measuring it against someone else’s relationship. And yes, social media can make this even harder because we are constantly exposed to carefully curated pictures of seemingly perfect couples. But remember, you are comparing your real life with someone else’s highlight reel.

If you want to stop using someone else’s relationship as a measure of your own, you have to consciously STOP doing it. Instead, start counting your blessings, appreciate what you already have, and communicate with your partner about what you would like to have more of.

And remember, no emotion is inherently good or bad. If you see a couple and feel a little jealous or envious, don’t judge yourself for it. Perhaps that feeling is simply showing you something you desire in your own relationship. Listen to it. Understand it. Then talk to your partner and, together, work towards creating more of what you want.

Life can be beautifully simple: live in the moment, enjoy what you have, stop comparing and complaining, communicate openly, do what is within your control, and let go of what isn’t.

Most importantly, don’t spend so much time looking at someone else’s relationship that you forget to nurture your own!!
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Answered on Sep 06, 2026

Answered on Sep 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 21, 2026
Career
My mother-in-law is constantly creating misunderstandings between my husband and me. She often says or does things that lead to arguments, but then pretends to be innocent, making it difficult for my husband to see what is happening. She is emotionally manipulating my husband and son against me. This has started affecting our relationship and my peace of mind. How can I deal with this situation without creating more conflict in my marriage?
Ans: Hi!!

Being a wife and a daughter-in-law is not an easy job. Over and above that, having a difficult or manipulative mother-in-law can sometimes feel like too much to handle.

She is your husband’s mother, and therefore, she deserves your respect, regardless of how she behaves.

The relationship between a husband and wife is sacred. It has to be built on mutual love, respect and trust. If your relationship is built on these principles, whatever your mother-in-law may do to create misunderstandings between you and your husband, it will not be easy for her to break the bond you share. I am very sure of this.

But first, check yourself. Be truthful, honest, loving and respectful towards your husband and towards everyone around you. You really have to practise these qualities and believe in their strength. When you know that you have been genuine in your relationship, you will have the inner strength and confidence to deal with difficult situations.

Most importantly, value your happiness and peace at all costs. Learn to let go of the small things for the sake of the bigger picture. Not every situation needs a reaction. Choose your battles wisely and, in this situation, be the smarter one.

And most importantly, have a heart-to-heart conversation with your husband. Choose the right time—a time when both of you are calm, emotionally receptive and in the right frame of mind to discuss the situation as true partners.

Do not approach the conversation as “your mother versus me.” Approach it as “we are a team, and we need to protect our relationship.”

Remember, you and your husband are on the same team. When there is love, trust, respect and open communication between the two of you, outside influences have far less power over your marriage.

That, I believe, is the way forward—without creating more conflict, and while protecting both your marriage and your peace of mind.
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Answered on Sep 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2026
Career
I am a single mother, and at times not able to spend more time with my 11-year-old daughter due to work commitments. Lately, she has become quieter and more withdrawn. How do I explain my situation to her, so she understands without feeling neglected or unimportant? What are some ways I can reassure her of my love and support while balancing the demands of work?
Ans: Hi!!

You and your daughter are a team! You share a connection that goes beyond human comprehension—it is a soul connection. So, trust yourself and trust your daughter.

She is eleven and soon to be a teenager. Her body and mind are going to undergo many changes, and that preparation has already begun. Her silence and withdrawal may not necessarily be entirely because of you.

Children are remarkably resilient. They understand very well what is happening around them and are often more willing to cooperate than we give them credit for. So, talk to her without guilt. You are doing a great job—you are working, providing for her, and taking care of your child. You really have to believe this yourself.

Being a mother is not an easy job, and you are a working single mother. Give yourself some credit for managing all of this. Be proud of yourself. That positivity and confidence will naturally rub off on your daughter.

I am going to focus on the solutions here.

You want to assure her that you love her and that you are always there for her. So, how do you go about doing this?

Just as you would sit across the table and discuss a problem at the office, I want you to create a similar ritual with your daughter. Every Sunday, sit together and plan the week ahead. Make it something you both look forward to.

Then, try to do something fun together each day. It could be as simple as taking a walk after dinner, playing a game together, reading together, or just sitting and talking. It does not have to be an elaborate activity. Even 20 minutes of meaningful, undivided time every day can make a difference.

You propose the activity and let her choose. Introduce this slowly, until it becomes a natural ritual between the two of you.

Children really don’t need anything expensive or fancy from you. They need your time, your attention, your presence—and those hugs.

One more very important aspect is giving her your undivided attention when she wants to talk to you. Stop whatever you are doing, face her, make eye contact, and listen to her. Let her feel that, at that moment, she has your complete attention.

And finally, try to leave the stress of office work outside the door of your home. When you are home, be completely involved in your home and with your daughter. Talk to her about your day, so that she feels comfortable talking to you about hers.

Have conversations—not just instructions and questions. Create a space where she knows that she can come to you with anything.

These are some simple, everyday ways of reconnecting with your daughter and, more importantly, reassuring her that she is loved, she is important, and you are always there for her.

Happy parenting! Wishing you the very best....
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Answered on Aug 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2026
Career
I am into sales with a very toxic work environment. Being shouted at, abused, publicly insulted during team meetings is a regular thing. We are expected to take calls off work hours, late nights, even on weekends and holidays. The current job market makes it difficult to get out of this situation. Friends and colleagues say there is no guarantee I won’t face same situation elsewhere. All this is taking a toll on my mental health, relationships and personal life. Please advise how I should handle this situation.
Ans: Hi!!
First, I want to acknowledge something very important: what you’re describing is not ‘normal workplace pressure.’ Occasional stress is part of most jobs, but constant humiliation, verbal abuse, and the expectation to be available 24/7 are signs of an unhealthy work environment.

When people stay in such environments for a long time, they often begin to believe that this is just how the corporate world works. It isn’t. There are demanding workplaces, and then there are toxic workplaces—and it’s important to know the difference.

At the same time, I understand the reality of today’s job market. Walking away immediately may not be financially possible, and I would never advise someone to make an emotional decision that puts their livelihood at risk.

So my advice would be threefold.

First, protect yourself emotionally. Don’t let someone else’s behaviour become your identity. Public criticism says more about the leader’s style than about your worth. Keep reminding yourself of your strengths and achievements. Speak to trusted friends, mentors, or a counsellor if you feel your mental health is being affected.

Second, create healthy boundaries wherever possible. You may not be able to change the organisation overnight, but you can communicate professionally about availability, prioritise recovery time, and avoid carrying workplace negativity into your home. Your family deserves the best version of you, not the exhausted version your workplace leaves behind.

Third, start preparing your exit strategically—not desperately. Update your résumé, build new skills, strengthen your professional network, and begin applying consistently. Don’t wait until you’re completely burnt out to look for another opportunity.

And finally, don’t let people convince you that ‘every company is like this.’ That’s a dangerous generalisation. Challenging workplaces exist, but so do organisations where people are treated with dignity and respect. Your goal is not just to find another job; it’s to find a healthier environment where you can grow without sacrificing your well-being.

Remember, success is not measured only by your salary or your designation. It is also measured by your ability to go to work without losing your self-respect, your peace of mind, and your relationships.
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Answered on Aug 03, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2026
Career
I met my ex at a school reunion. He is now divorced and has two daughters. I found him smoking. He had a bald patch but looked extremely fit. I had last met him in 2013 so our meeting was a bit awkward. I couldn't help staring back at him because i was curious to know what he was up to. We spoke briefly but I found myself being interested in his current life though I am married and we have a 11 year old son. While leaving, he said his number was still the same. I came back home and wondered if that was his way of telling me to call him and say in touch? We were married for 4 years before we decided to quit as I could not get along with his family. I never expected to see him again like this. I never thought I would want to know about his life so much. What is this feeling? What should I do?
Ans: Hi!!

There are always emotions involved when you meet your ex! It is but natural because of the time you have spent together and everything comes back once you meet that person again! Women being the nurturer , the way the nature made us, it is also very natural for you feel the need for keeping in touch because he is divorced!

You are married and you have a 11 yr old son( this is what I get when I read this message, I hope I am right). This is your present situation, you need to focus on them right now and not your past! Bless your ex from far… … in all the cases I have seen so far… getting involved with an ex has never ended well!!

Take care of yourself and your present in order to have an amazing future!!
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Answered on Jun 08, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 30, 2025
Career
My son speaks very slowly and less , don't mix with people he is 18 years old earlier he was not like that but from last 3-4 years he started speaking very less especially at home but talk with 2-3 close friends and younger brother.what should we do to help him to open up him so that he manage his college life (persuing b.tech.just get admission)
Ans: Hi!!
This is actually quite common in adolescence, and there isn’t just one reason.

A teen who used to talk a lot may become quieter over time because of changes in their emotional, social, and cognitive development:

* They become more self-aware. As teens grow, they often start thinking more about how others perceive them. This can make them more cautious about what they say.
* They’re processing more internally. Younger children often think out loud. Older teens may spend more time reflecting internally instead of verbalizing everything.
* Social experiences affect confidence. Criticism, embarrassment, bullying, rejection, or feeling misunderstood can lead someone to speak less.
* Friendships and family dynamics change. Teens may withdraw from parents while becoming more selective about who they talk to.
* Stress and responsibilities increase. School pressure, exams, future planning, and personal challenges can leave less mental energy for casual conversation.
* Their personality may be settling. Sometimes a talkative child wasn’t necessarily an extrovert; they were simply comfortable. As they mature, their natural communication style may become quieter.

Just check that the reason for this behaviour is not because of-
Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, or chronic stress!

It’s also important to distinguish between:

* A normal developmental shift: talking less, but still engaging with people and enjoying activities.
* A concerning change: becoming withdrawn, isolating themselves, losing interest in things they used to enjoy, or showing signs of distress.
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Answered on Jun 08, 2026

Career
My husband is out of job since the past 4 years after we came to India following COVID. He was working as Senior Accountant in Dubai and after his company's layoff we shifted base to India. Thought he joined two jobs for a very short time he quit and has been since only applying for job opportunities. Unfortunately he has not been receiving any calls for any interview nor has made any attempts to personally look for any job. I have ever since joined work and is the only breadwinner of the family.My husband doesn't want to contribute anything to the household expenditure except for daughters school fees.He is of the opinion that he has done his contribution earlier when he was working and as I am working need to be responsible for the family. Considering all the circumstances I am confused as none of my advice has any affect on his behaviour. Please advise
Ans: Hi!!
It is nice to know that he is contributing towards the fees of his children! Have you asked him how he is managing it?
The financial responsibility is on both the partners… it doesn’t matter who is at home and who is working. You sit across and discuss how much money comes in and how much money goes out. The how and why of savings for the future is also a joint venture!!
Now with this background decide whether it is enough if one of you works and the other manages everything at home. Segregate work, share responsibility.
Losing a job can be very hard on mental well being, then not finding a fulfilling job can worsen it.
Check whether your husband is truly unwilling to find a job or he has gotten comfortable/ lazy sitting at home.
I am sure you have been married long enough to sit across and talk lovingly with concern and care, and come up with solutions.
Please do not nag…
If nothing works, seek help of a professional!!
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Answered on Jun 08, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2026Hindi
Career
I am 43, single, looking for a lifetime partner. I got married at 28, but within two years, things didn't work out and we had to file for divorce. It was very painful because I had done everything to make the marriage work. It took me 5 years to heal from the guilt and trauma and find myself again. Even today when i meet a potential date, I find myself doubting the guy's every move. It could be a survival mechanism, but it is not letting me trust anyone. How do I work around this and find a relationship where I feel secure and confident?
Ans: Hi!!

I can understand what you are feeling!! I am very glad to hear that you have put efforts to heal!!
You really have to build on your experience of having married once, taking it as learning experience. Look hard at yourself and see what went wrong and what went right too!Take away the blame game and start rebuilding life again, one step at a time. Start with forgiveness… you need to forgive him and forgive yourself too. And open yourself to new relationships, new possibilities and the belief that you deserve to have a life partner. Everything has to start afresh… start taking care of yourself first! Let all the areas of your life radiate confidence and freshness!
The solution to your lack of trust cannot be solved in a jiffy or what I write here. Let’s sit across and find solutions together!
Let’s work together to make you confident and make you feel secure when it comes to relationships again!!
You can get in touch with me at insta account… lifeskillswitharchana or on my website - TransformMe.co.in!
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Answered on Jun 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2026
Career
My wife doesn't like dogs. I have two dogs who are like family to me. She screams and disrespects them saying she is scared of them. I am feeling very betrayed because I had mentioned this condition while sending our proposal to her family. It was also written in my matrimonial profile that we have two dogs who stay with us. We rejected so many proposals for this very reason but the family including my wife ignored it and now it is affecting our marriage. It has only been two months and I have to keep my dogs on a leash for the first time. They are deeply hurt and affected. I respect her too but how do I explain to her that my dogs are safe? Everyone in my family is equally concerned but my in-laws feel that dogs should be treated as pets not family. I strongly disagree. If my partner cannot accept my dogs, would it be right to file for divorce? Please help.
Ans: Hi!!
I can empathise with this whole situation at your home!
Let’s start tackling each issue that you have mentioned one by one…
1. There is surely a breach of trust here bfr marriage.. you did mention that your pets are an integral part of the family… you need to sit down and discuss this… find a common ground.This discussion is between you and your wife only.
2. Ask the in- laws to stay out of the discussion about how your family treats pets.
3. Take the pets out of the scenario and check the equation between you and your wife. How much value you attach to this relationship and each other? What lengths will both of you go to ensure that this partnership works?
If it’s a win - win situation, then sit down and chalk out a plan to make it work…
5. Both of you be part of solutions….ask her what was she expecting from you knowing that you are a pet lover and this was a precondition for marriage, yet she went ahead and got married to you…
6.There is no black and white solution here… I am also thinking aloud as I write to you…
After all the heart to heart talk… tell her that tying the dogs is not an option.. they are like children to you! Ask her to come up with solutions… tell her you want the marriage to work..you also from your end try to make her comfortable slowly get her used to the dogs, show her that they are harmless. The fear of dogs can be taken away slowly… consult a psychologist/ marriage counsellor to help you out if your efforts don’t yield results!
7. It’s been just 02 months. Both of you try to make the marriage work . You are both equally responsible for this marriage!!

All the very best!
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Answered on May 19, 2026

Career
sir am 26 yrs old . and I was doing company secretary couse but unfortunately couldn't clear in 2024 i join my father's personl office he was a accountant and later started his own firm and he was a advocate.. but sometimes I feel that ca degree is important for our office work when it comes to audit . so for providing ace to office I want to pursue ca but it's too hard as am not able to clear cs like ( 199 ) marks left with only 1 marks to pass . so I have a doubt that am not able to pas cs so how can I pass ca . i don't talk with my parents about my this thinking .. it's like am able to clear cs ? with ofc ? or not ? or it's just a bad decision for me ! please sir replyyyt !
Ans: Dear Priyanka,

Thank you for being so honest about everything!

Do you like CA and CS first of all? This is the first question you have to ask yourself!

The next question I want to you ask yourself is, ‘am I scoring less marks because I have not studied / lack of interest or lack of understanding of concepts?’ Seek help if you really want to clear these exams!

Next question is ask yourself , “what comes naturally to me and I love doing it?”. It can be anything…. cooking, baking, teaching, accounting, handling customers in your dad’s office, taking care of office administration, etc, list out everything and then home down to one thing and start working on it with honesty of purpose, let that become your way to earning money!

And please sit and have a heart to heart chat with your parents!
If verbal communication is a problem, write a letter to them… I am giving you options, choose what is comfortable to you , but talk to your parents!

All the very best…
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Answered on Aug 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 28, 2025Hindi
Career
Respected ma'am I am an student of class 12 I am very average in studies I always feel depressed and gloomy all the time I am worried about my future I just can't help myself
Ans: Dear Student of class 12th,

This is the time for you to take care of yourself. This the time when there is a lot of pressure on students(especially in India) to score very good marks. The world gauges you based on your marks, your marks are for your parents to flaunt about if they are very good. Don't allow all these things to affect you.
I am very happy that you are a person who knows your strengths and weaknesses, I formed this opinion when you said I am average in studies....
It's ok to be average, not everyone can score a 90%. Now what I want you to do is this.....
1. Let's address your feeling gloomy and your depression - identify the reasons behind this feeling, when, where ,how and why do you feel this. The more you answer these questions, the more easy it will be to come out of it. This is self awareness...
On a day to day basis I want to do the activities I am suggesting so that you come out of it....get up early, expose yourself to the sun within 10 mins of waking up, 20 mins of physical activity( it can be anything, dancing, swimming, skipping, running, brisk walking, surynamaskars... whatever helps you to increase your heartbeat.. basically cardio! Eating good, healthy food, lots of fruits and veggies, spending 20 mins connecting with nature. 20 mins of doing somethings that makes you heart happy..it can be anything.. singing, playing an instrument, reading, writing... these you have to do it on a day to day basis.
2. Sleep well, have a sleep routine which involves writing about all that you have which you are grateful for...your ability to study, your parents, good food to eat, a warm bed to sleep, a school to go to study, etc...write gratitude everyday, you'll sleep so peacefully, like a baby.
3. Have a study routine too...every day make it a point to study and revise whatever was taught in the class
4. Take baby steps to improve your marks, if you are scoring 60% right now, see if you can improve it by 5% by changing a few things here and there.
5. Take ownership of your life....by taking ownership of your day...one day at a time...let it be productive, let it be relaxing, let it be happier...move towards being the best version of yourself
6. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSEL to anyone,.... compare only if it pushes you to become better or like them.
7. You are a unique individual, with unique strengths....do a SWOT( google it) analysis, identify your strengths and weaknesses and move towards your goal. Identify what is that you want to become and prepare a road map towards it.

Keep everyday life very simple till you finish 12th Std....eat well, study well, play well, sleep well, just 04 things to do. Cut out all the noise..... good results will follow.
Do all that I have told you to do for at least 21 days... mark it on the calendar, you'll see the difference.

All the very best.
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Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 02, 2025Hindi
Career
I have recently been promoted from a software engineer to a team lead, but I feel underprepared to lead people. I struggle with delegation, giving feedback, and handling team conflict. Since I've always been in a technical role, this people-facing responsibility feels overwhelming. How can I build leadership presence, develop emotional intelligence, and manage teams effectively while still learning the ropes?
Ans: Hi!!
First and foremost… congratulations you are the team lead now! The top management has seen the spark of a leader in you and chosen you to lead, it is now your turn to see yourself as a leader!

Don’t beat yourself up so much, you are new to this… it will take come time for you to learn the ropes of leadership! Ideally you should have been trained for role and then they should have given you the responsibility.

All your struggles of leading, delegating, giving feedback, managing conflict are learnable skills!
Developing leadership presence requires time and efforts. You need to master your Visual presence, your Vocal and Verbal communication and so much more!
I have tailor-made solutions to all that you want to learn under the umbrella of Leadership skills!
It can’t be taught by answering your question here in a few sentences!
Let’s help you be the leader you want to be!!
Learning leadership presence, develop emotional intelligence, mange conflict and your team effectively will require you to spend time and energy on learning these skills so that, you be that leader, who people will look up to!!
Leave a message on instagram @ lifeskillswitharchana and let’s see how we can help you!
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Answered on May 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2025
Career
I have always taken pride for being an empathetic and approachable leader at work. Over the years, my team members have confided in me about their personal losses, burnout, even interpersonal conflicts within the team. While I am glad that they trust me, I have also noticed that my tendency to take on their emotional weight sometimes clouds my judgment when it comes to managing performance issues. In one instance, I gave extended flexibility to someone underperforming due to personal stress, and it affected the team's morale. Do you think being a compassionate leader can affect my accountability? I feel they might be taking me for granted.
Ans: Hi!!
It is extremely important to have empathy and approachability as qualities in a leader. You have them so congratulations!!

As a leader it is important for you maintain a safe distance too , so that people don't take you for granted and that your judgement is not clouded.

You need to tell people that everyone has personal problems, so the only way forward is to shut them out when they come to work and perform to the best of their abilities.

You really can't quote one incident and draw conclusions here, you might have made a mistake as regards to this team member you are mentioning, it's ok , you are human. Forgive yourself and move on.
You need to find a balance between empathy and accountability...it's a tough job to be a leader, and a compassionate one that too. Apply the concept of "different strokes to different people at different times". Set boundaries, take care of yourself and your time. You must take care of your emotional well being too, you can't allow everyone to dump their baggage on you.

Take every experience as an experience to make you wiser, have a discerning eye and know when to put your foot down and when you need your inherent compassionate quality.

Enjoy being a leader...you really can make a difference in people's lives, but at the same time you have to take care of yourself.

All the very best...
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Answered on May 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2025
Career
I am 32 and I have been working really hard to build my career. I love what I do, and I've invested a lot of time and energy to grow in my role. But somehow, at work, especially during informal conversations, people often ask me questions like, 'When are you planning to settle down?' or 'Any baby plans on the horizon?' or even worse, 'You should start thinking about family before it's too late.' Sometimes these are casual remarks during lunch breaks, after meetings when the tone turns casual. Surprisingly, it's not always from older colleagues. Even people my age do it. It's personally frustrating because the underlying message seems to be: Your career is fine for now, but surely you will slow down or quit once you get married or have kids, right? It feels like no matter how well I perform or how passionate I am about my work, there's always this unspoken assumption that it's all temporary. I don't want to snap or sound defensive because that often backfires. At the same time, I also don't want to smile politely and let these questions continue. I want to protect my boundaries while still being professional and graceful.
Ans: Hi!!

To be in a position where you are today and say, ' I love what I do', is simply stupendous, congratulations!

In the context of you being 32 and still unmarried will definitely get you the comments that you are receiving... and like you said they are happening informally casually... so just treat them that way, casually... answer them, don't avoid them or don't show annoyance. Just answer them with a ,"not happening anytime soon, ask me after 02 years", or any other casual remark you deem fit.

I can understand the frustration...forget about what other people are trying to imply etc , they are just casual remarks and take them that way.
"I don't want to snap or sound defensive because that often backfires", this is your remark I am requoting, don't give too much importance to it, if you are sure of what you want in life, you don't have to explain anything to others, it is none of their business any way, just shrug your shoulders and move on! You can't change people...
Also I would like to state, that it is ok to take a break when you marry or have a child after marriage... it is so normal, and thankfully you are in an era where these are recognized as important milestones in life and a women after a break is welcomed back with open arms by the same organizations. With your kind of credentials I don't think you'll ever have any problem getting back to work after a break.

Wishing that you make peace with yourself and the world around you...work is just one part of life. Take care of yourself and all the very best!!
(more)

Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Listen
Career
Worried mom asks: How to make my 12.5-year-old son take his studies and other activities seriously?
Ans: Hello Sunil!!

I am doing great, thank you for asking, God bless you!

I can totally understand when you say you are worried.

Your son is 12.5, he will soon be a teenager. There will be different challenges, I want you to read up on parenting a teenager and be ready to handle him well.

The problem as I see it is that everyone of you, his teachers included have made studies like a burden for him.... and subjected the young child to a lot of anxiety, he just wants to run away form it....
"Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class".... this statement of yours... it is the teacher's duty to ensure the child listens to him/her, how can she start labeling a child like this. From a young age your son has been conditioned to believe that he is not not good in studies, he doesn't focus and he doesn't sit in one place. All my sympathies are with your son...every child comes with immense potential and it's our duty as parents and teachers to nurture the child.

The following is what I propose so that we bring him back to loving to learn ( not score marks, that should never be the barometer)-
1. Love your child the way he is now
2. Give him lot of positive strokes
3. Have one on one sessions for any activity you plan for him... let him choose the activity, empower him
4. choose a teacher, who can get along with him and help him develop a positive attitude towards studies and life in general
5. look for a school where they nurture him... not just a reputed one...less number of students and a teacher who is invested in her/ his students,

If you can connect with me, I can help him. Have had many a students in this kind situation.
This is my website..
https://transformme.co.in/

Loads of best wishes to the whole family..
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Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
Listen
Jobless for 2 Years, Fearful of Interviews, and Drained: What Can I Do?
Ans: Hello!!

Let's only look at the forward path here pls.

Forget about all the failings so far... Be kind to yourself, whatever happened to you, whatever is happening now, the period of COVID did it to many.

The only way to get out of this is -
1. your willingness to see a beautiful future ahead of you
2. you have already taken the first step by seeking counselling
3. leave the habit of revisiting the past again, like you just said that I should have gone to the counselor earlier, don't do this, be happy you are seeing him/her now
4. you have come so far in life, give yourself some credit, you have not reached the senior position just like that, right? You have reached here with your efforts, you have done it before, you'll do it again, have faith in yourself
5. your wife is your life partner, sit across and talk to her, take her to the counselor make her understand that this a phase where you need her on your side. A facade with your wife is a NO NO, it will come out some day, it is extra strain on you and your relationship, come clean , be truthful and honest with her.
6. make self care a priority ..get your routine in order, it's your life, just don't fill your day with mindless activities, like I said one step in the future, start taking actions now.....get up early, expose yourself to the sun and nature( they are great healers), exercise, have good meals throughout the day, learn something new , join a course which will be job oriented, how about adding an MBA or any other course which will help you in your career or job search?
7. make being joyful a habit... spend time volunteering, go teach underprivileged children or where ever you feel like lending a helping hand
8. value yourself....you were not put here to suffer, take action now.

Forget the past, jo beet gayi so baat gayi( meaningless to talk about the past)... stop blaming, complaining....look into the future with energy and enthusiasm, it's your life man , take one step towards it every day.

Bless you to life your life well..
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Answered on Feb 02, 2025

Listen
Career
My Son Won't Help Financially After I Paid $100k for His Education: Am I Wrong to Expect Support?
Ans: Dear Sir,

He is your son and your blood. You have brought him up ....your values and culture is in him. You have supported him wholeheartedly and you have always been there for him, I am sure he will be there for you too. Just sit down with your son and have a heart to heart talk with him, have the faith that you have brought up your son well, he will listen to your genuine concerns and help you out.

It is just that he is too eager to fly high, the education, the US culture, the freedom is a heady combination right now. Participate in his plans wholeheartedly and with full josh when he shares his plans with you. Don't come in his way, don't demand but ask him to help you out. Please remember that when your child stays away from you, the bonds require efforts to rebuild and make them strong again. Since he is no longer staying with you, he may not have the clear picture of what is happening in your lives here. So please " TALK " to him face to face.

You must be happy that your son has grown up enough to make his life decisions on his own, this is a good sign, he is no longer dependent on you, like you said just be proud of him and be supportive. Love him unconditionally. I know as a parent you feel left out..... what can you do, but to see your little one soar high, trust me I totally understand how you feel. You have given him the wings by funding his education, you can't demand he return the money or pay you back. What you can do is this... give him a proper picture of your financial condition, your younger son's aspirations, he is your eldest, elder children are always responsible, he will come to your rescue and help you out I am very sure of that. Let the language of love and togetherness between the son and father create the magic. Communicate with your child dear father, that's the key, that's the solution.

All the very best!!
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Answered on Jan 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 10, 2025Hindi
Listen
Career
Chennai Teacher Considers Career Switch: How to Know if Corporate Training is the Right Path?
Ans: Hi!!
It is so heartening to see this statement of yours," solid reputation among my students and colleagues". I feel that you need to build a solid foundation on all the set skills that you currently have. Not everyone can earn the respect of students ...especially in today's world. Consolidate on this... put in a psychology course/ degree and anything else that can solidify your existing skills!
People are ready to invest in their children, always remember this.....If financial goals is an issue, you can switch to a school where the salary is good, good teachers are in great demand. Collect a lot of testimonials from parents and students before you switch. Demand the salary that you deserve. For earning extra income you can start classes, one of my friends earns in crores just by lending extra help to students .As a teacher you know where the gap exists in our educational system, see if you can fill this gap, see what you can offer and make money.
I am investing a lot of time on this aspect of you because you said that you are actually good at it and that you enjoy doing it, not everyone can say this about their work. It is a matter of time you monetize what you love doing ....groom yourself well, look like a powerful person and demand the salary you think you deserve. Learn to invest your money well and let money work for you. Think of opening your own school.

I am a personal coach as well as a corporate trainer, it a crowded place here too, your experience as a teacher will definitely come in handy ,but you will require additional training for becoming a corporate trainer no doubt about it, it builds credibility if you do. It is hard work, it takes time, energy, certification and constant learning in order to be a sought after corporate trainer and demand that kind of money you are referring to. If you are a go getter, smart, well groomed, confident in your communication, you can bring about change in people just by your presence and you are good in planning your sessions well, then go for it...else, you said it, "I've already put a lot into my teaching career", consolidate on this!! Lots of schools are investing in training teachers as well as students, see if you do this, or you can come to me, we can have a chat together and then you can take the leap forward in whatever direction you feel like taking. Your decision has to be a well thought out decision!

Hope this helps...may wisdom be on your side..TC!
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Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
Science grad juggling full-time job & BSc in Psychology, feeling overwhelmed - how to manage?
Ans: Hey!!
Kudos to you for dreaming big and also working towards it by investing time and energy in learning and development.
Not everyone can do it... so pat yourself on the back for it!!

You are absolutely right when you say TIME MANAGEMANT is the key to avoid burnout. However I'll add compartmentalizing and self care along with time management.

Let's take them one at a time ...here I go-

1. You want to perform at your peak then self care is a must, 20 mins of physical activity(it can be anything, run, brisk walk, suryanamaskars, dancing along with fast paced music, anything that gets your heart beat up)
10 -20 mins of meditation, if you believe in the higher power make efforts to connect with it/him/her.
2. 9 to 6 be fully committed to the office, after that switch off, learn to say NO for anything that comes after this time. You can do only so much right? This was one part of compartmentalizing...
3. be fully present in whatever activity you are doing... this is ZEN, nothing more nothing less. This way you will be razor sharp in your focus and get jobs done faster. When you are studying don't think office and vice versa. This is switching off, this is compartmentalizing. This will take conscious efforts but is doable
4.your course is important to you, so schedule a study time and stick to it .The days you have an holiday too... try to relax a little, schedule a study time, finish your studies and go relax and unwind a little, you deserve it...don't cram too much in a day.
A relaxed mind will always perform better and focus better. I really can't tell you the importance of unwinding and mediation, you really have to do it to experience it and reap the benefits of it
5. Always encourage yourself, be your best cheer leader, don't beat yourself down, be kind to yourself too, your mind and body
need that from you. You are already doing so much.
6 .The only way to stop being overwhelmed is also to put out all your tasks of the day on paper and schedule it, prioritize it.... one task at a time, start taking action. And when the task is don't forget to strike the task out with a clean line over the task with a pen... this is a message your giving to your mind. ...'I got one task done, I am capable of getting another done'.. Ahaha... the joy of getting a job done!!
7. Get a good nights sleep, do "yog nidra' before sleeping
8. Always breathe deep whenever overwhelm creeps in and see how calm you become. A calm mind is key to getting more done.

And remember to write "your gratitude" out in the night before sleeping, you'll sleep peacefully and get up fresh.
Also do remember, all tasks can be done happily too... there is no need to drag yourself or be always overwhelmed!
You chose to work and study as well.... honour your choices joyously and go about life with a spring in your step...All best !!
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Answered on Dec 10, 2024

Listen
Career
Commerce Graduate: What Are My Future Options?
Ans: Dear Shree!

Commerce graduates have many career options, I am listing some of them for you-
1.Company Secretary (CS)
A program that teaches corporate governance, company law, compliance, and secretarial practices
2.Chartered Accountant (CA)
A career that involves auditing, taxation, accounting, financial planning, and consulting
2.Investment banker
A career that involves developing financial assets for customers or organizations, and obtaining finance for corporate operations, acquisitions, and mergers
3.Cost Management Accountant (CMA)
A prestigious professional credential that is considered one of the highest-paying career options for commerce students
4.Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA)
A career that involves financial analysis, variant bonds and derivatives, types of portfolios, and investment management
5.Cost accountant
A career that involves assessing cost information, making and maintaining an expenses database, managing cost information, and preparing budget reports
6.Certified Public Accountant (CPA)
A career that involves managing the accounting, reporting, taxation, and auditing processes for businesses, clients, and the government

Some more options for you..
Financial Analyst, HR Manager, Economist, Financial Planner, Actuary, Market Research Analysts, Bank PO (Probationary Officer), Tax Consultant, Teaching students

Can you see the options and the opportunities that are available for you??
You can also focus on further studies too… amassing knowledge and skills can also be your goal.Focus on acquiring wisdom, spend time and energy on worthy tasks, become mentally and physically strong!


Hope this helps… all the very best!
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