Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Ans: Dear overthinker,

Thinking is a good trait to have, overthinking is not.

You literally have to STOP overthinking!!!

One way to overcome this is to stop thinking and become more action oriented. STOP analyzing everything in the head, put it on paper, there is something calming about putting thoughts on paper, writing them down with a pen and paper.
And then taking actions based on what you have written and no more thinking about it.

Indulge in physical activity, play a game which is more action oriented , this teaches you to be fully present in the moment, which helps you in being in the moment. Being fully present in the moment is what gets you out of overthinking.
Do meditate , I really can't enumerate all the benefits of meditation, what meditation does to people is beyond words.

There is a book called as, STOP OVERTHINKING by Nick Trenton, this book offers practical advice and exercises to help you break free from negative thoughts and worries. It provides evidence-based methods to combat overthinking and anxiety.

Another amazing book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of NOW", can help you.

There is no problem which can't be overcome, believe in yourself, you are more powerful than you think, the body and mind have to listen to you!!
What you think so you become, feed yourself the right thoughts and let the magic unfold.!!

All the best!!

Ans: Hi!!

When I was working in the corporate world, the oft repeated quote was, "people don't leave the company ,they leave bad bosses".
Your manager's boss is your super boss, rt? Can't you go and speak to him directly and put your concerns across?
I am sure the HR must have noticed that people are quitting and might have explored the reasons why they are doing so too, do check with them.
I fail to understand why women should not cooperate with each other. You can also explore the option of talking directly to the manager and telling her if your actions in any way have caused some misunderstanding and if she says yes then you are willing to clear them. Also tell her that you are not eyeing her post and you are just trying to do your job well. I did the same with one of my bosses, it worked for me, we became the best of friends, we are still in touch. You need to think which is your best option and choose one from all the possible solutions I have mentioned. You can always quit, that's the last option I feel..

Hoping you choose wisely..All the very best!!

Ans: Dear Aman,
Do remember, rules are meant to be followed...there are always consequences for not following them.
I think you should request your organisation to give you a relieving letter and submit the relevant medical papers for the same. If there is a penalty to be paid for not serving the notice period , please pay and get rid of this stress, at the end of the day peace of mind is more important than money. Looking for peace of mind will also solve your insomnia!!


hoping the best for you...

Ans: Dear Arun... it is a whole skill set you need to learn in order to overcome stage fear.
It involves mindset change, visualizations, confidence building exercises and finally practice, practice and more practice in order to master public speaking and overcome the fear of the stage.

Get in touch if you are really interested in working on this fear and becoming a stage performer.

All the best!!

Ans: Prasenjit... your concerns are valid, however no one can actually know what the future holds. We can all speculate and get stressed about the future. It is only today and this moment that we have with us. Like railways in India it is very unlikely that PSBs will be privatised. Meanwhile what you can do is be a continuous learner, hone your skills , become indispensable to your organisation.
Keep your eyes, ears and heart/ mind to embrace the change and keep upgrading/learning and living life fearlessly.

All the very best!!

Ans: Hi!!

If it's your dream to fly again, then please be at it... this passion itself should keep you from giving up. Groom yourself, do whatever it takes to be fit, keep your chin up, you have cracked the interview before and worked in this industry, this is your strength. Your time away was for family reasons and remember the lessons you learnt from being away from flying. Be honest in your interviews and show your reasons for joining back. Relook at your resume and then reapply....
Work on yourself, keep your goals realistic and have a positive outlook towards your dreams.

All the very best!!

Ans: OMG, an MSc in clinical psychology is like gold mine in today's time. Schools, colleges, corporates, hospitals are looking for psychologists. I just googled there are many jobs in the Government too.
If this is your area of interest then pls go ahead and start sharing your expertise with the world. Start consulting and start helping people, everyone is looking for an expert to help them navigate through life, specially the young !!

Ans: Dear Revathi,

You are doing so much my dear...take a break from everything for an hour everyday and focus on your well being and peace of mind. 20-20-20 rule for you, meditate for 20 mins, physical activity for 20 mins and connecting with nature for 20 mins( these are your mini breaks).
If you can add 10 mins of an activity which makes your heart joyful then 'sone pe suhaga'!! Self-care comes first, a happy and joyful mother, wife , daughter-in-law is great to have around the house. You are doing so much don't you think you deserve 1 hr for yourself? Without thinking too much , just go ahead and schedule self-care in your time table.

Now let's solve your son's issue...since childhood you have taught him how to do things, he is grown up enough to do things on his own. Until and unless you allow him to do things on his own, how will he learn to do?
DO NOT CHASE...DO NOT CRITICIZE....DO NOT NAG, tell him what to do once and wait for him to do. If he does it fantastic, else let him face the consequences. Every action has to have consequences.. for eg, not studying will lead to less marks, it's his failure, not yours, let him take ownership of his actions, you are preparing him for life, let him falter now and learn to get up. Be there for him when he falls, your job as a mom is to ensure he is healthy...emotionally and physically. (Keep the atmosphere at home happy because you have another son too, he is younger and needs your attention too)
It is his 10th Std, not yours. Keep telling the importance of studies and scoring well and the need to study consistently( again no nagging). He is grown up now, take him to a place without distractions and have heart to heart conversations as a mom and son. Conflicts are neither good for him nor to you/the entire home.
Trust me, parenting is not an easy job, you have to raise yourself, before you raise a child. It is not an easy world for your son too.....raging hormones, conflicting world, conflicting views....the world at the click of a button, you be his rock solid supporter and cheer leader, be there for your sons, create a loving and caring home, where they feel secure and happy. A mother knows best, trust your instinct( the mother's instinct), believe in yourself and your children!!

Wishing the very best to all of you.. and happy parenting!!

Ans: Good afternoon!!

If you have been in the banking industry for the last 24 yrs, don't you think now is the time to consolidate on your skills and do something which brings out your expertise ? Think of moving up the ladder in your organisation or look for coaching/training people to pass a bank exam or any other subject you love to teach.

And trust me 50 is also an age -
1. when you look back and see all that you have accomplished
2. then look into the future and think about all that you wanted to do and want to do
For you to really look into the two questions above, sit with a quite mind and explore all options , write them down for clarity and for the way forward.

If HR is where you want to go in, then look for an MBA in HR while you are continuing to work( I am very particular about being financially independent too during a career shift or the transition phase)!

If Life coaching is what interests you then check out India's leading life coach Puja Puneet and the courses she offers.
To be a life coach is to work a lot on yourself before you can become one.

Working part-time in my organisation is a "no" right now as I am not hiring!!

All the best in your exploration of the self and the clarity on forward path!!

Ans: Dear Ms CEO!! You are already a power house of talent and experience, congratulations. Look back at your life and list out all your WINS. This activity has two benefits....first benefit you'll know your strengths and the second you'll know the activities that brought the best in you and you enjoyed doing them!! Now is the time to consolidate on your strengths and work towards finding joy and meaning in your life , if that is what you desire.
There is no single educational path for becoming an independent consultant or apply for senior positions abroad but here are some things to consider:
1. how good are your leadership skills
2. communication skills
3. updating yourself to look and feel like a leader
4. look into your networking skills and building rapport skills
5. how good are you at leading cross cultural teams

As you go higher up in your career the soft skills and Image projection take center stage backed with solid experience(which is your strength)!!

More power to you..

All the very best!!

Ans: Dearest Mumma of a beautiful girl child..... I am sorry to be a little blunt here.. DO NOT COMPARE, period!! Your times and her times are different. She is just in 2nd std...allow her "TO BE", please. Your job as a mother is to nurture her and ensure that she is joyous and healthy!! Teach her , train her, expose her to a lot of activities if you want but with lots of love and understanding. DO REMEMBER that childhood is not a preparation for adulthood....and who said scoring 90 is the only way to feel empowered, anything above 80 means your child is doing good!! Your child is unique, do not compare her with anyone, every child has her own pace...allow her to run her own race and WIN!! All the best and happy parenting!!!

Ans: Hi!!

I feel that KVs have the best curriculum in terms of overall development of a child. But I really don't know how good this school is, you and your daughter are the best judge for this.
You can take a call whether to put her in a private school based on your goals in life and your budget.
Invest in a school which is invested in your child. School going kids will surely be influenced by the kind of environment they grow and the kind of company they keep. I believe that the confidence in young children comes from their parents.
You be confident about your decisions, she'll grow up being a confident girl. If you are under confident somewhere then see what you can do to raise your confidence, she'll learn to do it too.
You can get a coach to coach her on confidence building and grooming once she is a little older. For now be a confident parent and coach her, she is watching you. You feel you must change the school , then change it...make informed choices, and see how your daughter will bloom where ever she is!!
All the best...

Ans: Hi Guddu!!
English is a funny language... CAT is CAT but CYCLE is SAICLE.
You want to improve English, here are my suggestions -
1. have a proper tutor and learn it from scratch... like from the very beginning, start from A, B,C
2.start talking in English as much as possible don't bother if ppl laugh, your goal is to speak in English. I am learning French, I have learnt it in theory but yet to speak properly, so you want to speak in English well, then pls start conversing in English, that's the only way
3. make use of technology to pronounce words properly, write properly... watch you tube channels dedicated to English learning, use google to clear any doubts..
4. be in an environment of English --- read English newspaper, listen to the news in English ,look for opportunities to converse in English, watch English movies..

Happy learning!!

Ans: Hi!!
You seem to me like a person who is capable of doing much more... look at you... the way you have written this whole question so clearly, explaining your predicaments in very good English, is a proof of your capability.
Now young adult... this is what I want from you-
1. you have come this far...congratulations....bad school you said, malnourished you said, COVID degree you said...I just want you to stop complaining
2. you are really good, resilient....in spite of all the circumstances you narrated so far, none of them were in your control, yet here you are A Computer Science graduate, can you not see that you are good, you rise even when life has not been so fair. Believe in yourself my friend
3. you take heart in what Buddha said, "you are what you think", start by changing your vocabulary, start thinking positively about everything ... 5 ft is good height, check how tall was Napoleon Bonaparte.... you are as tall as you think. Change what you can, accept what you can't change, and be smart enough to know the difference. Pls do not cry about what you can't change- your height, corona, they are all not in your control at all... accept and move forward pls
4.if you think Corona degree is not good enough, then explore other options, see if you can earn another certificate course that will help you in your job search... this time choose wisely
5. ask yourself, "what is that I want my life to look like" and start working towards it, one step at a time.
6. for focus and memory to improve I totally rely on Yoga and Meditation, it can totally help you too...give it a shot

With all my suggestions above, what I am trying to tell you is that, " you are a very smart kid", start looking for solutions now, enough of crying over spilt milk!!

All the best... take all actions today, with one leg in the future!! God created you, love your self!!

Ans: Hi!!
Congratulations ...you took care of your children when they were young, and now that they are all grown up you want to take up a job!!
You are just 31 yrs old, you are still so young, some advantages of marrying early. Now is that time to learn, relearn, and unlearn....find out what is that you love to do the most now which can help you earn money as well. Ask yourself what is that you want to do with your degrees, your life? Find your Ikigai....
Explore the convergence of Ikigai's four primary elements: what you love (your passion), what the world needs (your mission), what you are good at (your vocation), and what you can get paid for (your profession). Take time to reflect and design your life.
Think on this before you get into the job market, you'll be sorted for life...take your time, don't be in a hurry to just get a job. I repeat again here...learn, unlearn and relearn, be prepared before you jump into a job market.

This was my answer to your statement," i dont know how and where to start my career".

Hope this helps... all the very best for your future!!

Ans: Hello Jay!!

This is such a phase of your life with a teenager, that I cannot give you a "to do list" to conform to and whoosh the problems go away!!
What I suggest is this -
1. a teenager is tough to deal with. You have been a teenager once too..it is a very tough phase of life for the teen too, raging hormones, mood swings , a body that is constantly changing every day. Today's teen has it tougher, what with social media and peer pressure to deal with. Your son needs is an understanding parent ,be one pls
2. take care of his physical well being and mental well being. Good food, mental rest ( away from social media and gaming), good sleep and engaging in worthy pursuits( channelize his energies in learning an instrument, singing, debating, football, tennis, anything where he can expend his mental and physical energies... either enrol him in theses classes or have tutors coming home)
3.if making him study is getting difficult, hire tutors to teach him, physical classes, not online.
4. you said he has a brilliant mind... it is time to engage him in worthy pursuits
5. every day is a challenge with a teenager, you , being the parent has to keep changing strategies based on the need/mood of the day
6. as a parent read up on how to deal with a teenager and act accordingly
7. no confronting or criticizing openly, talk to him with all respect..do not tolerate his shouting and scolding...tell him it is unacceptable, nip it in the bud before it becomes a habit. You start dealing with problems and finding a solution in a calm manner, he'll start doing the same, he is learning from everyone around . It is good if adults around him behave properly
8.you are the adult here, set boundaries regarding screen time and stick to it. You all adults at home also need to have control over screen time.
9. talk to his teachers, counsellors, psychologist and anyone who can bridge the gap between you and your child, to help you communicate effectively with each other
10. channelize your son's energies, be with him, understand him( keep telling him that you and he are in the same team),love him, cherish him, guide him, be there for him and create WIN WIN situations!!

All the best to both you and your son!! Happy parenting..

Ans: Hi!!
I really really can empathise with you, having been in a similar situation a few years ago. Having a boss who is less educated than you is always very tough. They'll always consider you as a threat and hence this kind of behaviour towards you.

What I suggest to you is this ...check yourself and your attitude towards everyone in the office. Is your mannerism and demeanour that of superiority? Do you behave/appear like a threat? If "yes", then time to correct you body language and make efforts to show that you are a team player and become likable too.

Now that you are working with them and if you are still interested in working for this organisation and people, then these are my suggestions -
- first and foremost he is your boss, it is not simply that ppl say, "boss is always right"
- find out the reason for his prejudice, see if you can work on taking it away or on minimizing it
-you are the smart one here, find ways and means of befriending your team members, one at a time, showing your good side, help as many ppl as you can without any expectations. I have this belief that no human being is bad, just address their insecurities.
- never confront anyone in a group
- you are the junior, behave like one, don't be a sycophant, but be a team member
- you can always use words like 'can you pls guide me' etc, when you are addressing anyone who is older and more experienced than you
- don't bother about how others are working and what mistakes they are a making ,neither do you have control over them nor are you the one to decide the consequences of their mistakes. You be impeccable, give your 100%, be an asset to the company.
- when you make a mistake, say sorry, correct it and move on, without attaching anymore to it than the fact that you made a mistake and it needs to be corrected( this is essential for your peace of mind)
- your boss is here since 10 yrs, he has a good rapport with the directors, there must be something in him to learn and imbibe. Pls learn and imbibe, it'll be a great asset to you as you grow in your career
- be a team player, take it slow, it is always very tough to build rapport and gel with new teams, it takes time, thought, energy, efforts to become part of a group. Give yourself and others the time
- you have already reported it to the director, trust him help you out
- build harmonious relationships with everyone around
- protect yourself too, learn to speak up, stand up for the right issues but with due respect and the right language
Observe yourself and others, you'll surely find a way to connect and work in harmony. Try all the possible solutions I have suggested, give yourself 6 months to one year, if the situation improves with your good intention and efforts, stay in this job, else quit. No one should stay in a toxic work environment ever. But do try to make it work, you'll emerge stronger and smarter.

All the very best! Remember I am with you now!!

Ans: Hello Anjali!!
I am always very happy when someone asks me, "how can I improve". This just proves that you are an individual who is very sorted, someone who knows her strengths and weaknesses. Your willingness to learn and improve is your strength. However at the age of 36 Anjali, it is also time to consolidate on your strengths, make them so huge that weaknesses are not visible.

You are a M Phil B Ed and have the experience of working as a teacher, this is your strength. If you are going to work as a teacher in English speaking countries, you need to develop good English writing and speaking skills. Seeing your message this needs improvement . Whichever country you are willing to work, you need to see the rules and degrees required for employability in that country. Additionally if you can learn a little bit of the culture and etiquette of that country, it'll always be an advantage.

All the best Anju!

Ans: Hello!!
A marine engineer with over 5 yrs of experience must and should be earning a good salary which can take care of all his family members, right?
Salary wise you are in a good space. What is that is frustrating about your job? List them all out and go about eliminating them from your working life. For every frustration , add a solution against it, check if they are solvable, seek help if required to solve them. Trust me any job you seek there will always be something frustrating about it. You yourself rightly said that MBA and after that is no guarantee that you will be happy. So ponder deeply and check what is that you want your career to look like and feel like and go about achieving it. I am a great believer of putting everything on paper and mapping them to goals. All goals are achievable whether it pertains to career or family or any other goal you have in mind, you just have to lay a road map and start traveling on it. Have the courage to take that route, you don't know what is in store until unless you travel on it. I know your parents and wife have certain expectations of , how about asking yourself also, what is that you except of them and what is that you want out of your life. Be true to yourself also. The quality of your life is based on the quality of your choices and the quality of your relationships. Career is just one aspect of your life, it is a means of earning a livelihood. When you are at sea, see if you can make use of the peace to study and finish that MBA. I am mentioning this is to tell you that you either complain or be part of the solution. Create a WIN WIN, you just need a change of mindset to change frustration into opportunities. Hope this helps...
All the best!!

Ans: Hello Mr Arshad!!
" I am in consultancy business for 20 years and have sufficient work, good clients, excellent relationship with employees and employers as well. "
Isn't this an amazing achievement, congratulations!!
I really am failing to understand your problem here.

I am taking this statement of yours, "But could``t performed well in execution. However some well wisher suggest me to prioritize my tasks and activities. Despite the continuous efforts, it couldn't done."....does this mean that you are not good at getting all your tasks done on a day to day basis?
I am assuming this and asking you to check if you are packing too many things in your schedule and hence at the end of the day you are feeling a sense of not having performed well!!
In order to feel a sense of achievement and a feeling of having executed the day well, you need to schedule your day, setting a time for each activity .Let this list be written down on a white board and let this be in your line of sight always, this will give direction to your day.
Also check( and I am repeating myself here) if you are packing too much into your day, you have only 24 hrs in a day, you can only do so much. Don't be overwhelmed. See if you can put all your tasks under the following categories-

This is called the Eisenhower Matrix-
First Quadrant (upper left): urgent and important.
Second Quadrant (upper right): important, but not urgent.
Third Quadrant (lower left): not important, but urgent.
Fourth Quadrant (lower right): neither important nor urgent.
Do the tasks in quadrant 1 first.
Decide on when to deal with the tasks in quadrant 2.
Delegate the tasks in quadrant 3.
Delete the items in quadrant 4

Hope this helps!!
Happy managing your time well.....all the best!!

Ans: Hi!!
I do help students on personality development but I stay in Delhi and you want offline classes, however I must say this, it is the right time for your daughter to take these classes.
In this regard , I can guide you this much, go to google search and look for personality development classes in Bangalore, you'll get a lot of options, go for someone with a good rating and good/genuine reviews. Zero in on a few options, talk to them, visit them if possible and choose one which fits for your daughter. Choose a tutor who will understand your daughter, her needs and help her develop an amazing personality.

All the best in your search!!

Ans: Hi!!
You are looking for an IT job, then you should get one. What makes you say, "I have no confidence that they'll give me an opportunity"?!! Take a hard look at yourself and ask ,"what are the skills that I need in order to achieve my goal", is it hard IT skills or other soft skills required to clear the interview and get the job", and then go about learning them.
Write down your goals, make a list of all actions you need to take in order to achieve your goals and go about taking the actions. Life is quite simple... there are goals and actions to be taken.

All the best in achieving your goals!!!

Ans: Hi!!
You are just 32 and you are handling a team of 15, that's a good space to be in. Congratulations!!
Let me dissect your message and answer each requirement one by one..
1. "I need some help in rebuilding the positive image in front of my team and peers and even seniors" -
The first step to change is recognising that a change is needed. For you to improve your image in front of your team, peers and seniors you need to work on your communication skills, your negotiation skills and your leadership skills.
2."i have got this feedback that my tone is pushy/ Rude.. even though that's not the case from my perspective"
You make not be pushy and rude in your heart, but if the feedback is this from the majority of people then you need to look into it...that's why I always say, "it's not what you say but how you say it", try adding warmth in your tone when you speak, smile, see if you can make others comfortable in your presence. Check you body language, is it open and inviting?
3 " I need to make my image as approachable manager with Good skills and good behavior and attitude." - there is work to be done here. This can be achieved in terms of making a change in your clothing ( the cut of your clothes, the choice of colours, fabric, the prints, it's a whole science of clothing at work), your verbal and non verbal communication and finally working on your mindset.
See if we can connect one on one. All your targets are achievable and learnable skills!!

All the best to you!!

Ans: Hey cheer up, if you are giving importance to relationships, you are in a great space, you are doing the right thing. The quality of your life is based on the quality of your relationships and the choices you make. In my life coaching classes I have to teach some people to focus on relationships...you are not one of them, so good going.
After reading all that you have to say, these are my conclusions-
1.your friends are good, but they roast you and it hurts- the roasting is good as long as it doesn't hurt, a little bit of leg pulling is alright among friends. So when it hurts, you need to draw boundaries. Get on a one on one chat with the friend whose remarks hurt you, tell her/him that it is "not ok" and that "it hurts", "it makes you feel underconfident"( whatever you genuinely feel). You have to be assertive communicator( someone who respects others and also themselves), here!!
2. You want to mingle with ppl who have a growth mindset, do that, join groups that have this as their agenda. You know this set of friends can't give you that, so you look elsewhere.
3. You said "you are not good at talking and hence joined this set of extroverted friends", has this solved your prob? Have you become better at talking? If yes, then continue to meet them...if NO then time to let go....continue to meet them for other reasons, you yourself said that they are real and won't let go of you at your lowest, then they are real friends. Continue to nurture these friends but don't relay on them for your needs of growth and good communication skills.
4. you said, "I thought i can work hard on my own and reach the top", this is still right, ask for help where you need, develop your personality and soar high.

All the very best to you

Ans: Hi!!

This question was answered long long..
Here's the link - https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/career/wish-ldquo-write-english-rdquo-profession-happens-core-competency-gives/5151512

All the best!

Ans: Hi!!
When we talk about life skills, it is a whole mindset and skill set required for living your life well. It covers your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being .The life coaching sessions are based on your goals for your life and we set out to achieve them together. Life coaching can help you in making better choices....a well qualified and certified life coach has the ability and expertise to hold a mirror and hand-hold you to live a life that you envision for yourself!!

Ans: Hi!!
You are a manger handling a group of 30 , this in itself is so much for you to look into and handle!!It's not some mean task managing 30 individuals and getting them to perform. Keep up the good work!!
In the skip meeting, your team said you are strict, don't you think it is good to be strict, strict about time, strict about performance. It is wrong to be grilled again and again for the same feedback which was documented and then acknowledged by you. Have you shown any changes/improvement in the way of handling issues with your team? As a leader of a team of 30, you need to inspire them to perform to the best of their abilities, you need to empathise, you have to apply different strokes to different people, adopt different styles of leadership based on the situation.
Do take the feedback of your team and your manager to improve yourself. If you take it positively then you will be the winner in this situation!
If they are grilling you again and again and your performance is getting affected, show them how you are working on the feedback and becoming a better leader, tell them to give you some space and time to continue working on yourself. You continue to perform well and do not allow any office negativity to affect you.
More power to you... all the best!!

Ans: Greetings to you too!!
Congratulations to you for stepping out of you comfort zone, ready to pitch in financially for your family !! It's not a small act, pat yourself on the back for this and move into the world with confidence .
Ask people you know, friends, family and past colleagues to help you find a job. There is no harm in asking, at the most they'll say no, not the end of the world, but what if they say "yes", you never know!!
With your kind of strengths - good communication, empathy, willingness to learn and the heart to help others, look for a job with NGOs, schools....and anywhere where your willingness to help others becomes a strengths. You can start home tutoring too, I have seen my own cousin becoming a millionaire teaching from home.
You haven't mentioned your qualifications, if you can add a qualification in counselling, then your strengths will get a booster dose!!
If this can help you, I would like to share that I picked up my first job, 04 years after completing engineering, by then I was married, had my first baby and then set out to look for a job and found one,
In today's world ,age is just a number, groom yourself well and confidently set out into the world with all your strengths.
All the very best....

Ans: Dear Retaik,
The very fact that you have been a constant learner is your strength, let this be your USP. You have switched jobs and tried various types of jobs, this is also learning, don't you think so? Now do a proper pen and paper exercise, write down all that you have learnt and the jobs you have done, there maybe something that really struck a chord with you, something which you thoroughly enjoyed, this is where you need to work, build expertise and rise vertically now. Continue to learn and grow... all the very best!

Ans: Hello!!
Most of us have had managers at some point in our careers, while some are helpful, compassionate, and capable, others may not meet these standards, clearly yours is not meeting the standards!! Dealing with challenging managers can be, well, a challenge. Be courageous and face the challenge, you are not a newbie you are a strong 30 yr old man.
When I worked in the corporate world, what I heard most of the times was that people don't leave a company, they leave bad bosses. Throughout your question you have always mentioned a "we", that means this bad boss is affecting many more people.
You have these options-
1. you all can send a signed petition about this boss, post this to the HR
2. nobody has to suffer at work, there will always be a way out, look for it
3. you be sincere in your work and deliver, develop a thick skin and don't allow this boss to affect you
3.if nothing works then quit, do whatever it takes to be peaceful at work

I am sure a smart 30 yr old software engineer like you "can" and "will" find a solution to this problem by choosing your options wisely and looking into what is important for you!

All the best!!

Ans: Dear Reema!
It is best to ask your GP who has been with your child or the teachers who have been teaching your daughter this question.
You, the parent, the GP and the teachers are the best judges of your child's capabilities.

You as the mother must be knowing what brings joy to your daughter and how she has been coping with LD/depression so far. You and you daughter have come this far... she has given her 10th board exams, congratulations to both of you! Celebrate this milestone!!

There are many examples of individuals who have overcome LD and have excelled ...JFK , Robin Williams, Pablo Picasso, Henry Ford and our very own Abhishek Bachchan….there are lots of examples of people with dyslexia (which is likely the most common learning disability) who’ve achieved great success utilizing their own gifts.

With the help of experts identify your child's gift and help her excel in it!!

All the very best to your daughter and you!!

Ans: Hello Barua!!
I really want you to elaborate a little more.
I am assuming you are a working professional who is pursuing a BSc on the side and suggesting a few time management ways to help you...

List out all your tasks and activities in a day and over a period of two weeks. See how you are managing your time now by making a matrix of time for every 1/2 hour. Be accountable to every 1/2 hour, write down what you did every half hour.
It will be an eye opener on how you are spending your time.

There will be some activities that come under "should do" on your list, for example studying for your BSc, physical activity, eating food, etc.... schedule them and work all other activities around it. Keep life simple Barua and you'll be able to achieve much more. Focus on doing right and focus on your well being!!

All the best!!

Ans: Dear Susobhan!!
You will be surprised to know that 72-75% of the population fears public speaking ,this makes public speaking the number one fear of a vast majority. For you, talking to clients is like public speaking!
There is no fear that cannot be overcome with practice and having a process for overcoming it.
Just dig a little deeper and make notes on what happens to your body and mind when a client comes in front of you.
Also look into the past and see why this is happening? The more you become aware of yourself and the WHY of a problem then the HOW of the solution to the problem starts to take shape.
Check, why you get nervous? Is it because you are short of words? You are not properly dressed/groomed? Is it lack of the knowledge of the product? Identifying the problem is half the battle won.

Some suggestions to build the rapport-
(take three deep breaths as soon as you see a client, helps in calming you)-
1. smile as soon as you see the client, a genuine smile
2. stand up to receive him/her
3. exhibit a confident body language
4. greet the client in a clear confident voice
5. ask how you can help them?
6. ask open ended questions, what are they looking for? Let the client speak.
7.offer water/tea/ coffee

I have suggested some ways, however build your own relevant process, from the time the client enters till they leave.
Have your vocabulary ready.... what to say, how to say and practice in front of the mirror.
Always be well dressed/groomed, appropriate for your role.
You must have knowledge about everything in the store and all the services your store offers, this will give you confidence in answering the queries of the client. Do seek help if you don't know all the answers.... there is nothing wrong in saying," I am not so sure about this, let me ask a senior and get back to you on this", don't mumble, say it clearly.

Meditation is a sure shot way of becoming calmer. Go for deep breathing, visualizations and affirmations also overcome your nervousness.

All the best Susobhan!

Ans: Dear mother-to-be,
First of all congratulations, you are blessed, you are going to be a mother, celebrate the fact!!
Now to understand what is happening to your body, it is transforming on so many levels to support you and the growing life within you, accept the fact and cherish the fact, allow the whole world to take care of you!!
If you can continue working and you are happy going to work then continue working. If working is stressful and you can take a break then go for it!!
Have a safe pregnancy, birthing and a happy motherhood! Here's wishing both of you happy times ahead! Stay happy, stay blessed!!

Ans: Hi!!
Syed, you are asking me what to do, here are my suggestions-
1. have clear goals with respect to your job
2. you have listed so may reasons for not taking up a job, now find a few reasons to take a job - your self respect, your own money to spend are some I can think of
3. it's very easy to quit a job, find reasons to stay
4. invest in your physical and mental well being, a clam and collected mind will take better decisions
5. I really won't say slow growth in an organisation, if I had finished engineering in 2021 and it is middle of 2024 now
6. preparing for Govt Jobs is a good idea, look into doing this thing well if you are really serious about it
7. give your 100% in everything you do Syed!! Let there be energy, enthusiasm and excitement in your search for a job, it's your life, take charge of it and see how you want it to unfold. Do all that which is in your control
8.you get fed up when you don't see progress and not celebrate your wins however small they may be! Every step you take towards your goal, pat yourself on the back, be your greatest cheer leader
9.do not compare yourself with others, compare only if you feel inspired
10. focus on your well being and happiness
11. take up a job and do well there, it is better to do a job than to sit idle or
12. look to upskill in an area you want to work, look for job oriented courses
13. seek help if need be

All the very best!!

Ans: Hi!!
Congratulations on taking a break because you felt exhausted and recognised a need for a break! You prioritized your well being, good. Not many have the courage to do this and the support system that allows them to do this. Count your blessings!!

I am splitting my answer into two parts..

Part A: Ask yourself - "why did this burnout happen?", write them down, analyse and ensure it doesn't happen again.

Part B: Tell yourself - "1 and a 1/2 years break is a very small gap in a lifetime". I would have loved to know how you utilized and spent this 1 and a half years. This is for everyone who is taking a break, take a break but use your time wisely to learn a skill, volunteer, travel... it has to be action oriented and not just sleeping and wasting your time, do all those things that you could not do because of your job! When on a break focus on your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual areas of your life. Let the blossom.

If you want to stick to IT industry then keep looking, you'll find what you want. Ask for help from seniors and people you know to get you back into the job market. Ask and don't be afraid of hearing a NO, don't take a "no" personally. Ask and you shall seek. Meanwhile keep learning skills to up your prospects in whatever areas you want to work.

All the best!!

Ans: Dear Marina,

You want a change of job, then you will get one. Just keep your eyes and ears open for the kind of job you are looking for. Success comes to those who are consistent in their efforts. Keep looking with a positive attitude, the key is to keep up your spirits and hope even when you hear a NO. Trust yourself and trust the universe to give you what you want. Start writing and visualizing the job you want before you go to sleep everyday.

All the best..

Ans: Dear Venkatesh!

I can totally understand you predicament. You made choices about ICICI and your NBFC reputed firm. Don't look back at all and don't beat yourself about the choice you made. I am sure you made an informed choice weighing all pros and cons. This is life happening ... RBI ban and all that...it is not because of you and it not under your control. How you respond to the challenge and emerge a winner is all that you have to see. You are a loyal employee so you informed before quitting and they didn't want you to leave because they valued you. It was a WIN-WIN for both of you. It's time to weigh your pros and cons again and take an informed decision and create a WIN WIN. I wish your company gives you all a clear picture and be open about your future, it's the worst situation when a company keeps their employees hanging like this. See if you can talk to a senior(or people)you can trust and ask him clearly what to do! Take opinions from people around and make an informed choice. Meanwhile, you create your goals for the future- your financial goals, family goals , goals in all areas of your life and see whether your goals will be met by sticking to the company or looking for a job elsewhere. The way you say ICICI approached you and then your company tried to retain you, you are a man with great potential and integrity. This time around look for solutions that suit you , your goals and your family!!
All the very best!!

Ans: Hi!!

It is very sad that you lost your life partner at such a young age. I know it is going to be tough for sometime. What I do know is that, because you are an Engineer, you have work experience with TCS, it is not going to be as tough as it seems and it will take sometime but you will be earning and living a respectable life!! Take informed decisions and start taking one step at a time towards your goal of a respectable life.

I am a little troubled that you said, "I am strangled with a 6 yr old daughter". You gave birth to her, she is your responsibility, she is totally dependent on you. You do have your daughter as your mate on this journey of life. Children are always a blessing, don't believe anyone who says otherwise. Cherish her and love her. Let the bond between the mother and daughter grow to be beautiful one. After the death of a spouse, people around have this tendency to say things that has an effect on you, just trust yourself, you are 35 yrs old, believe in yourself. You are mother and motherhood gives you a lot of strength, tap into it and move ahead in life for the sake of the little one.

Now to look into building your career, earning money and living a respectable life, here are some options to look into..

1. check with TCS if you can go back, lots of these big companies love it if their previous employees come back to work with them. Look around for a senior, a friend who can suggest the courses you can do now, to get back into the job market
2. you said you don't want to get into software, how about HR or teaching?
3. take a hard look at all your strengths and weaknesses, what you would like to do, get skilled in that area and start looking for the jobs in that area
4. create a goal card, let this always be in front of you. Have goals for every area of your life

Take care of your mental, emotional and physical health!! Look for people you uplift you and give you strength. Stay away from negative people.

Loads of prayers and blessings to both you and your daughter!!

Ans: Hi!!
A working mother, husband working abroad, there is only so much you can do. Spend quality time with your daughter, bond with her on stuff other than studies, that brings happiness to both of you.
If you as a mother know your child's potential then, this should be good. You are saying she is an average student then set a certain percentage that she can score, when she scores that much then celebrate it. Let her live a balanced life, right amount of time spent on studies and other skills. Expose her to other skills like, music, sports, debating, story telling... she will soon discover something where she excels!!

Set a time for studies, let her study during that time and rest of the time don't keep talking about studies, discuss and do something else. Explain to her why studying is important, make gaining knowledge, studying a rewarding experience. Every child comes with their set of strengths and success. As a mother cherish your child and enjoy your time together. Your child is unique, do not compare her with anyone else.
Inspire her to be happy, healthy and knowledgeable by you being so!!

Happy Parenting! Best wishes

Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well.....then this is worth all the effort.

Ans: Hello Saket!!

It is unfair to expect a child all of 08 to come back home from school late in the evening and study(I am assuming he is home by 6.30 PM). You can shift his study time to the morning hours, say from 8 to 10 AM.

Now to manage his well being after coming back from school.
Take care of the following-
1. it's a good time to introduce time management to your 8yr old son
2. on a Sunday when both of you are relatively free, involve him to make a time table for studies. Stick the time table in a place where it is visible to him
3.let him relax for an hr after coming back from school
4.if you assume 10 PM is his sleeping time( the child needs 9-12 hrs of sleep), and 7:45 PM is dinner time, some where between dinner time and sleeping time, see if you can manage a little bit of HW/studies
5. there is so much happening at school apart from studies, he is developing - social skills, coping mechanism, developing new ideas ,etc....let home be a place where he is loved, nourished and a place to relax and rejuvenate
6. have fixed time to study and make him study during those hours.

You cannot be rigid, every child's requirements are different try out what suits you and your family!!

Happy parenting!!

Ans: Hello Sridhar!

Something that interests you and you would love to learn ,is such a deadly combo, pls go ahead and pursue the Certified Financial Planner course as a hobby.
For an online course you have two options-
If you are someone who is self driven like me, then pursue an online course with recorded lessons, else go for an in person live online session!
Any course you do online go for a credible institute.

If you can attend an offline session go for it. This way you'll meet like minded people, interaction with new people opens up your mind, a good reason to get out of your home/ office routine and chance to be a student again in a classroom!!

“Wisdom…. comes not from age, but from education and learning.”
- Anton Chekhov

So continue to learn and grow in Wisdom!

Best wishes!!

Ans: Hi!!

Can I begin by saying, "stop blaming anyone for your circumstances". Your sister advised you for your own good. Engineering is a good degree to have. If you are not happy with doing technical work then see if you can add an MBA or some other skills to increase your chances of earning more. Life is all about taking decisions on a minute to minute basis. Take the right decisions now, let's leave the past behind, thinking about it has no meaning now.
... will you promise me not to indulge in the three c's- don't COMPLAIN, CRITICIZE and CONDEMN!!
Let's look forward now ...
I always believe in putting everything that overwhelms me on paper... then it starts looking doable and simpler!
So that's your first task, put everything on paper( make a goal book, write everything in it), your desires, your dreams, your goals and a everyday to-do list.
The goals should be in every aspect of your life....
1. Financial Goal
2. Career Goal- what other skills do you need to earn the money you need and move ahead in your career
3. Relationships Goal, the quality of your life is based on the quality of your relationships
4. The goal of your physical and mental well being, if you are mentally and physically fit then you can live life well
5. How to be happy without any reason, that's your primary goal.... ask yourself "what are the ways in which I can have fun where money is not involved" - looking at the sun, spending time in nature, listening to the birds singing, playing with small children( they just want you, not your money), helping someone in need, sipping coffee peacefully, make a list of all these and try doing at least two of them every day.

I don't know how good is your relationship with your sister, you say she is doing well, can you ask for her help, without blaming? Ask for help and learn from her. I am sure blood is always thicker and she will help you.

Life is never a straight line, there will always be an up and a down!

Keep up your spirits, everyday is a new day, don't blame yourself, don't blame others. be kind to yourself and be kind to others.

Everyday, take one step towards your goals, move forward... and as regards to ageing, believe me age is just a number, you are as young as you think!!

Here's wishing you a happy, healthy , wealthy life ahead!!

Ans: Hello Sundeep!
Yes I am doing well and hope the same for you!!

I would love to help you on this.
Here's the to do list for you to increase your visibility in your organisation-
1. always dress up for the next level. Always wear ironed clothes. A collared shirt, formal trousers, polished shoes. Your socks need to match your trousers. A neat formal belt. Belt and shoes to match . Look the part
2. hone your communication skills. Communicate in a concise and precise manner, with the right tonality. Be an assertive communicator
3. develop leadership qualities
4. build on the three C's - Confidence, Capability and Credibility
5. be an enthusiastic team player
6. develop public speaking skills, just look at all the leaders, they all speak so well, it is a learnable skill
7. grab the opportunities that come your way and prove that you are ready for the next level
8. don't participate in office gossip
9. help your juniors, every leader does this. The benefits of this are immense, you become better when you teach, you develop leadership skills, you create positivity in the office, you develop communication skills and you become popular
10. work hard, work smart

I don't want to overwhelm you with more, just do these 10 pointers and see the difference it'll make to your image in the office.

And above all believe in yourself, you have 10 yrs of experience and believe that you are ready to scale upwards now!

At the end of the day...be happy and spread happiness too!!

All the very best and more power to you!!

Ans: Dear Bhawik!!

Pat yourself on the back for being a committed employee. The problems you have stated happen to most people who give their 100% to their work. Since you already know what it is to be 100% at work, it is time for you to give your 100% at home and to yourself.
You need to mentally detach yourself from work the moment you step out of the office building.
How will you do this? Adopt the following-
1. before leaving the office list out all the activities for tomorrow , prioritise them and mentally commit to them as tasks for tomorrow.
2. as soon as you exit the office building take three deep breaths , inhale and exhale deeply - this is called a transitioning breath which helps you transition from activity to another
3 establish rituals like listening to music( which you love) the moment you leave the building
4. if your transit form office to home takes some time, then practice being in the moment by looking around - the people, the trees, the sky, let all your senses be involved- use your eyes to see, nose to smell, ears to hear the sounds around, feel the breeze in your hair/ on your skin. This makes you feel 100% alive. Stay in the moment.
5. when you reach home, greet your loved ones with a smile
6. spend a little time doing nothing , just be
7. enjoy your meal mindfully
8.take a small walk after your meal
9.spend minimum of 10 mins doing something that brings you joy, for me it is reading a book, what is it for you?
10.take a bath with lukewarm water before you go to bed and then go for a guided "Yog Nidra"

Do not intellectualize these suggestions. Just do them. They are tried and tested methods for a proper demarcation between work and home life.
Best wishes for a life well lived and restful sleep..

Ans: Hello!!

This information you have shared is not enough to understand what is that you are exactly wanting right now.
Let me see how I can help you. First of all extend your arm and pat yourself on the back for completing your engineering. You are a mechanical engineer!! Celebrate the fact and feel good about yourself.

I like the fact where you say "I am currently, unemployed", this can change soon, look out for opportunities, keep attending interviews, prepare well, ask for help, give it your best shot. Treat every failure as part of a learning process in becoming better next time. Surround yourself with positive and encouraging people.

Till you find a job, live life well on a day to day basis-
1. wake up early
2. exercise
3. eat well and sleep well
4. dress well at home too, don't be in your pyjamas, you should be in such a state that if someone asks you to come for an interview right away, you must be ready
5. beware of negative self talk... nip negative thoughts in the bud
6. looking for a job is your full time job, keep looking
7. be helpful around the house if you are living with your parents
8. till you find a job keep learning and building on your skills
9. volunteer to teach and help the less fortunate lot
10. do not sit idle, keep your body and mind active

Constantly invest in activities that ensure your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being!! Have rituals that focus on these four pillars of your life!

Blessings and all the very best!!

Ans: Hello Mr Kunal!!
It is good to see a parent so aware about their child's capability and wanting the best for him. Congratulations on that!!

Well, to answer your question...... you can google 'career guidance after 10th', there will be a host of companies offering an aptitude test to gauge your son's capabilities. Based on the test they'll suggest a future path on choosing a career and on further education. You can choose one of them based on the reviews and talking to them over phone.

Use a combination of-
1. your son's views on what he wants to do,
2. your gut feeling as a parent and
3. the outcome of the aptitude test to arrive at a final decision.
A single personality test can't decide the future of your child. Make an informed decision, you can involve his teachers who know him well too,

All the best in choosing the best for your son!!

Ans: Hello Mr Mukesh!!
Your son is lucky yo have a father who sends him to the best school. He is getting a good foundation. Investigate why he is scoring less. What do his teachers say about him? As a parent how do you evaluate your child? What is his level of understanding in each subject? Where does his interest lie in? Is he consistent with his studies, does he study regularly on a day to day basis? Remember you become a master in what you repeat, revising and recalling is also a very important part of studies to score good marks.

If your son's focus is good and intelligence levels are average, then he can score well with regular studies. Ensure he revises whatever is taught in the school everyday. Also check with him if he understands whatever is taught in the school. Your son is 14, he is a big boy now and can participate in problem solving. Involve him in decision making and empower your son. Let him participate in the process of he scoring good marks, every child wants to do well. Some children can study for an hour and score well, some children need to put in a little extra to score well. See if his score can be improved by having a home tutor. Make studying, gaining knowledge and scoring well a enjoyable, positive experience!

Best wishes to you for positive parenting and best wishes to your son for scoring well!!

Ans: Hello!!
You are a married business woman and now you are a mother too!! Congratulations!!
There was a time in the world when a woman was revered just because she was a mother, she carried humanity forward, that in itself was a big responsibility. It is time to put the mother back on the pedestal.....in India they say giving birth, is like a 'punarjanam', rebirth for a woman. Don't you deserve some rest at least for 40 days before you start thinking of your business and all. Your body has undergone a lot during pregnancy and birth of your child. Rest a little, heal well and then get back to work. You deserve it!!

Now the action plan for you to perform the dual responsibility of a mother and a business woman with grace ..
Your baby totally needs you for the first 6 months because you need to breast feed her. Gradually get her used to other care givers. Build a good support system at home as well as at your store. Earmark an area at the store and at your home which can work as home/office. Don't feel guilty about carrying your baby to the office, remember how the New Zealand ex-PM Jacinda Ardern, carried her new born to the parliament?
It is a balancing act between the two... motherhood and business woman, it'll take time and you'll eventually learn it. Give yourself sometime, don't beat yourself down if there is a little loss now in your business or blame motherhood for the loss. With a new born your schedules will go haywire for sometime. Soon you and your baby will settle down into a routine, you'll have to work for that. Be very flexible, flow like a river for sometime, with your mental peace as the centre.
Don't try to do everything by yourself, delegate, seek help.

List out what is important for you in life. Have every task laid out on paper, plan and schedule activities, this one act will bring in a lot of peace to you. You'll never ever feel overwhelmed. Prioritize all tasks on a scale of 1 to 5. Keep your targets simple and doable on a day to day basis.

In between being a mother and a business woman, take care of yourself too!! Sleep well, eat well, 20 mins of physical activity and doing one thing that brings you joy( it can be as small as looking at the sun set or sipping your chai peacefully) on a daily basis will give you the strength to perform your balancing act.

Loads of blessings and best wishes!!