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Archana

Archana Deshpande

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer 

55 Answers | 35 Followers

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more

Answered on Jul 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Hello Madam I am 30 years old, I have been working as a marine Engineer in a ship from last 5 years. But my work is so frustrating that I don't want to do it anymore, but since I need money to feed my family I am doing this job, I have father mother and wife , who has expectations from me , sometimes I think I should do MBA but that too require preparation money and time , but I don't know whether I will be happy after that or not , can you help in deciding how should I navigate my life in career prospective, how can I find right career for myself Kindly guide me to the right path Thank you.
Ans: Hello!!
A marine engineer with over 5 yrs of experience must and should be earning a good salary which can take care of all his family members, right?
Salary wise you are in a good space. What is that is frustrating about your job? List them all out and go about eliminating them from your working life. For every frustration , add a solution against it, check if they are solvable, seek help if required to solve them. Trust me any job you seek there will always be something frustrating about it. You yourself rightly said that MBA and after that is no guarantee that you will be happy. So ponder deeply and check what is that you want your career to look like and feel like and go about achieving it. I am a great believer of putting everything on paper and mapping them to goals. All goals are achievable whether it pertains to career or family or any other goal you have in mind, you just have to lay a road map and start traveling on it. Have the courage to take that route, you don't know what is in store until unless you travel on it. I know your parents and wife have certain expectations of , how about asking yourself also, what is that you except of them and what is that you want out of your life. Be true to yourself also. The quality of your life is based on the quality of your choices and the quality of your relationships. Career is just one aspect of your life, it is a means of earning a livelihood. When you are at sea, see if you can make use of the peace to study and finish that MBA. I am mentioning this is to tell you that you that either complain or be part of the solution. Create a WIN WIN, you just need a change of mindset to change frustration into opportunities. Hope this helps...
All the best!!
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Answered on Jul 26, 2024

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Sir I am in consultancy business for 20 years and have sufficient work, good clients, excellent relationship with employees and employers as well. But could``t performed well in execution. However some well wisher suggest me to prioritize my tasks and activities. Despite the continuous efforts, it couldn't done. Kindly suggest me the solution. Regards
Ans: Hello Mr Arshad!!
" I am in consultancy business for 20 years and have sufficient work, good clients, excellent relationship with employees and employers as well. "
Isn't this an amazing achievement, congratulations!!
I really am failing to understand your problem here.

I am taking this statement of yours, "But could``t performed well in execution. However some well wisher suggest me to prioritize my tasks and activities. Despite the continuous efforts, it couldn't done."....does this mean that you are not good at getting all your tasks done on a day to day basis?
I am assuming this and asking you to check if you are packing too many things in your schedule and hence at the end of the day you are feeling a sense of not having performed well!!
In order to feel a sense of achievement and a feeling having executed the day well, you need to schedule your day, setting a time for each activity .Let this list me written down on a white board and let this be your line of sight always, this will give direction to your day.
Also check if you are packing too much into your day, you have only 24 hrs in a day, you can only do so much. Don't be overwhelmed. See if you can put all your tasks under the following categories-

This is called the Eisenhower Matrix-
First Quadrant (upper left): urgent and important.
Second Quadrant (upper right): important, but not urgent.
Third Quadrant (lower left): not important, but urgent.
Fourth Quadrant (lower right): neither important nor urgent.
Do the tasks in quadrant 1 first.
Decide on when to deal with the tasks in quadrant 2.
Delegate the tasks in quadrant 3.
Delete the items in quadrant 4

Hope this helps!!
Happy managing your time well.....all the best!!
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Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
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Hi Archana, I am 32 years old working in corporate handling a team of 15. I need some help in rebuilding the positive image infront of my team and peers and even seniors. i have got this feedback that my tone is pushy/ Rude.. even though thats not the case from my perspective. I need to make my image as approachable manager with Good skills and good behavior and attitude.
Ans: Hi!!
You are just 32 and you are handling a team of 15, that's a good space to be in. Congratulations!!
Let me dissect your message and answer each requirement one by one..
1. "I need some help in rebuilding the positive image in front of my team and peers and even seniors" -
The first step to change is recognising that a change is needed. For you to improve your image in front of your team, peers and seniors you need to work on your communication skills, your negotiation skills and your leadership skills.
2."i have got this feedback that my tone is pushy/ Rude.. even though that's not the case from my perspective"
You make not be pushy and rude in your heart, but if the feedback is this from the majority of people then you need to look into it...that's why I always say, "it's not what you say but how you say it", try adding warmth in your tone when you speak, smile, see if you can make others comfortable in your presence. Check you body language, is it open and inviting?
3 " I need to make my image as approachable manager with Good skills and good behavior and attitude." - there is work to be done here. This can be achieved in terms of making a change in your clothing ( the cut of your clothes, the choice of colours, fabric, the prints, it's a whole science of clothing at work), your verbal and non verbal communication and finally working on your mindset.
See if we can connect one on one. All your targets are achievable and learnable skills!!

All the best to you!!
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Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir/mam.I am 19 yr old female. After joining a tier-3 college because of financial reasons comprimising as less fees. I thought i can work hard on own and reach the top. Since i am very bad at talking to others regarding any topic, i joined this circle of friends who seemed very extroverted and try new things. Ive always had very career driven mind but i also craved friendships so i befriended them But I am confused about my own thoughts. All of them are real, and would never leave me at my lowest. i never had such friends. But they always roast me for fun and i have always been okay. Sometimes it hurts but i ignore cuz its only for fun and mainly they are not selfish. But at the same time i always find myself in same level. They say u should be around people who have growth mindset. I believ same but my frnds are not like that. And i just find alone in that only aspect(careerwise) . Since i give relationships important i am not taking ghis frnd circle issue seriously And this concerns me
Ans: Hey cheer up, if you are giving importance to relationships, you are in a great space, you are doing the right thing. The quality of your life is based on the quality of your relationships and the choices you make. In my life coaching classes I have to teach some people to focus on relationships...you are not one of them, so good going.
After reading all that you have to say, these are my conclusions-
1.your friends are good, but they roast you and it hurts- the roasting is good as long as it doesn't hurt, a little bit of leg pulling is alright among friends. So when it hurts, you need to draw boundaries. Get on a one on one chat with the friend whose remarks hurt you, tell her/him that it is "not ok" and that "it hurts", "it makes you feel underconfident"( whatever you genuinely feel). You have to be assertive communicator( someone who respects others and also themselves), here!!
2. You want to mingle with ppl who have a growth mindset, do that, join groups that have this as their agenda. You know this set of friends can't give you that, so you look elsewhere.
3. You said "you are not good at talking and hence joined this set of extroverted friends", has this solved your prob? Have you become better at talking? If yes, then continue to meet them...if NO then time to let go....continue to meet them for other reasons, you yourself said that they are real and won't let go of you at your lowest, then they are real friends. Continue to nurture these friends but don't relay on them for your needs of growth and good communication skills.
4. you said, "I thought i can work hard on my own and reach the top", this is still right, ask for help where you need, develop your personality and soar high.

All the very best to you
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Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2024Hindi
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Hi Maam , I wish to “Write my heart-out in English” as a Profession , as that happens to be one of my core competency . It gives me a lot of soulful satisfaction & propels me to continue writing further . My Drafting & command over English Writing has been my primary strength right from my schooling days but I committed the mistake of not choosing it as a career . Hence , Post doing my B.Tech. & M.B.A. , I worked in decent Corporates for 16 Years but went on to quit my last Job in 2021 as I felt stagnant & monotonous doing what I was into . That was the most risk-laden call I made in my life , but I had to as I was no more enjoying it . I was immensely appreciated for my e-mail drafts & Write-ups in all the past Organisations I worked in but that had no weightage in my KRA . I did pretty well in my professional career with the exception of the last couple of months wherein I felt a bit lost & as a result , decided to move out of it . I am into my 44th Year & now convinced to follow my dream professionally ( i.e Writing & penning down what comes my way) but am somewhat clueless how to move ahead . I am not there for the in-vogue content writing stuffs , online blogs etc. but want to write on something substantial or small interesting / soothing write-ups that wins the heart of the readers . Kindly help me with all the specific / possible options wherein I can directly target , that would probably fetch me results ASAP . Please give all the detailed info of the sources which can be explored . Generic one-liners may not help , as I am too blank & am in a fix on whom to approach . Trying my best to persevere & being resilient but probably lacking pro-activeness which is the key requisite in the current times . Looking forward to your much value added counselling & the probable avenues that may break the ice for me ... Thanks & Regards !!! Pls. Keep up with the Good-Work that is being done with all your expert advices in this Q&A Guided Consultancy Section .
Ans: Hi!!

This question was answered long long..
Here's the link - https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/career/wish-ldquo-write-english-rdquo-profession-happens-core-competency-gives/5151512

All the best!
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Answered on Jun 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2024Hindi
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I am working in a corporate company as a Manager handling a team of 30. My manager always tries to micromanage. When he joined 6 months back he had a skip session with my team where my team raised a few concerns about me being strict. He gave me a documented feedback and I acknowledged it. Now he arranged another skip session with his manager and I am being put in situation where the same things were picked up by the team. Now they are again grilling me about the same issue for which I've got a feedback. Is it fair that i being cornered with same incidents again and again ?
Ans: Hi!!
You are a manger handling a group of 30 , this in itself is so much for you to look into and handle!!It's not some mean task managing 30 individuals and getting them to perform. Keep up the good work!!
In the skip meeting, your team said you are strict, don't you think it is good to be strict, strict about time, strict about performance. It is wrong to be grilled again and again for the same feedback which was documented and then acknowledged by you. Have you shown any changes/improvement in the way of handling issues with your team? As a leader of a team of 30, you need to inspire them to perform to the best of their abilities, you need to empathise, you have to apply different strokes to different people, adopt different styles of leadership based on the situation.
Do take the feedback of your team and your manager to improve yourself. If you take it positively then you will be the winner in this situation!
If they are grilling you again and again and your performance is getting affected, show them how you are working on the feedback and becoming a better leader, tell them to give you some space and time to continue working on yourself. You continue to perform well and do not allow any office negativity to affect you.
More power to you... all the best!!
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Answered on Jun 08, 2024

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Greetings of the Day! Iam 54 year old female with just 2 years of work experience but now due to family situation need to look for a job My strengths are good communication, empathy, willingness to learn and the heart to help others.what kind of job will i get and where should i scout for the openings?
Ans: Greetings to you too!!
Congratulations to you for stepping out of you comfort zone, ready to pitch in financially for your family !! It's not a small act, pat yourself on the back for this and move into the world with confidence .
Ask people you know, friends, family and past colleagues to help you find a job. There is no harm in asking, at the most they'll say no, not the end of the world, but what if they say "yes", you never know!!
With your kind of strengths - good communication, empathy, willingness to learn and the heart to help others, look for a job with NGOs, schools....and anywhere where your willingness to help others becomes a strengths. You can start home tutoring too, I have seen my own cousin becoming a millionaire teaching from home.
You haven't mentioned your qualifications, if you can add a qualification in counselling, then your strengths will get a booster dose!!
If this can help you, I would like to share that I picked up my first job, 04 years after completing engineering, by then I was married, had my first baby and then set out to look for a job and found one,
In today's world ,age is just a number, groom yourself well and confidently set out into the world with all your strengths.
All the very best....
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Answered on May 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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I am software engineer aged 30 years. My manager is a sadist doesn't understand anything technically and always pester us on non essential things that doesn't matter at all in the work and deliverables. We are getting frustrated most of the times. Always blames others for his/her own mistakes. Always divides and rule the team. Always wants to go out and party even if there is lot of work and end of the day, asks for the work status. I do not want to leave the company but doesn't bare this manager at all. Please suggest what to do. I am at my low.
Ans: Hello!!
Most of us have had managers at some point in our careers, while some are helpful, compassionate, and capable, others may not meet these standards, clearly yours is not meeting the standards!! Dealing with challenging managers can be, well, a challenge. Be courageous and face the challenge, you are not a newbie you are a strong 30 yr old man.
When I worked in the corporate world, what I heard most of the times was that people don't leave a company, they leave bad bosses. Throughout your question you have always mentioned a "we", that means this bad boss is affecting many more people.
You have these options-
1. you all can send a signed petition about this boss, post this to the HR
2. nobody has to suffer at work, there will always be a way out, look for it
3. you be sincere in your work and deliver, develop a thick skin and don't allow this boss to affect you
3.if nothing works then quit, do whatever it takes to be peaceful at work

I am sure a smart 30 yr old software engineer like you "can" and "will" find a solution to this problem by choosing your options wisely and looking into what is important for you!

All the best!!
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Answered on May 20, 2024

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I am working in a design and build company (for interiors and Fitouts)...but cannot develop proper rappo... with the client....My brain remains very stiff, and i suffer from nervousness, while speaking/interacting...Pls suggest, how to overcome this problem, and maintain a calm posture ..... Susobhan
Ans: Dear Susobhan!!
You will be surprised to know that 72-75% of the population fears public speaking ,this makes public speaking the number one fear of a vast majority. For you, talking to clients is like public speaking!
There is no fear that cannot be overcome with practice and having a process for overcoming it.
Just dig a little deeper and make notes on what happens to your body and mind when a client comes in front of you.
Also look into the past and see why this is happening? The more you become aware of yourself and the WHY of a problem then the HOW of the solution to the problem starts to take shape.
Check, why you get nervous? Is it because you are short of words? You are not properly dressed/groomed? Is it lack of the knowledge of the product? Identifying the problem is half the battle won.

Some suggestions to build the rapport-
(take three deep breaths as soon as you see a client, helps in calming you)-
1. smile as soon as you see the client, a genuine smile
2. stand up to receive him/her
3. exhibit a confident body language
4. greet the client in a clear confident voice
5. ask how you can help them?
6. ask open ended questions, what are they looking for? Let the client speak.
7.offer water/tea/ coffee

I have suggested some ways, however build your own relevant process, from the time the client enters till they leave.
Have your vocabulary ready.... what to say, how to say and practice in front of the mirror.
Always be well dressed/groomed, appropriate for your role.
You must have knowledge about everything in the store and all the services your store offers, this will give you confidence in answering the queries of the client. Do seek help if you don't know all the answers.... there is nothing wrong in saying," I am not so sure about this, let me ask a senior and get back to you on this", don't mumble, say it clearly.

Meditation is a sure shot way of becoming calmer. Go for deep breathing, visualizations and affirmations also overcome your nervousness.

All the best Susobhan!
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Answered on May 19, 2024

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I have completed my B.E in Mechanical in 2021. But jobless till now due to many factors such as following: 1)Due to family issues 2)Low Salary packages inspite of longer distance travelling to office 3) Slow growth in the establishment 4) preparing for govt jobs No I am fed up with all above things... What to do ?
Ans: Hi!!
Syed, you are asking me what to do, here are my suggestions-
1. have clear goals with respect to your job
2. you have listed so may reasons for not taking up a job, now find a few reasons to take a job - your self respect, your own money to spend are some I can think of
3. it's very easy to quit a job, find reasons to stay
4. invest in your physical and mental well being, a clam and collected mind will take better decisions
5. I really won't say slow growth in an organisation, if I had finished engineering in 2021 and it is middle of 2024 now
6. preparing for Govt Jobs is a good idea, look into doing this thing well if you are really serious about it
7. give your 100% in everything you do Syed!! Let there be energy, enthusiasm and excitement in your search for a job, it's your life, take charge of it and see how you want it to unfold. Do all that which is in your control
8.you get fed up when you don't see progress and not celebrate your wins however small they may be! Every step you take towards your goal, pat yourself on the back, be your greatest cheer leader
9.do not compare yourself with others, compare only if you feel inspired
10. focus on your well being and happiness
11. take up a job and do well there, it is better to do a job than to sit idle or
12. look to upskill in an area you want to work, look for job oriented courses
13. seek help if need be

All the very best!!
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Answered on May 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I have worked in reputed corporate company for 3 years as Data Integration Analyst and due to burnout I took a break for 1 year 2 Months. Now I want to get back to IT, however I am not getting sufficient call backs from HR. I would like to know do I have chance to get into IT again with this gap? kindly help
Ans: Hi!!
Congratulations on taking a break because you felt exhausted and recognised a need for a break! You prioritized your well being, good. Not many have the courage to do this and the support system that allows them to do this. Count your blessings!!

I am splitting my answer into two parts..

Part A: Ask yourself - "why did this burnout happen?", write them down, analyse and ensure it doesn't happen again.

Part B: Tell yourself - "1 and a 1/2 years break is a very small gap in a lifetime". I would have loved to know how you utilized and spent this 1 and a half years. This is for everyone who is taking a break, take a break but use your time wisely to learn a skill, volunteer, travel... it has to be action oriented and not just sleeping and wasting your time, do all those things that you could not do because of your job! When on a break focus on your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual areas of your life. Let the blossom.

If you want to stick to IT industry then keep looking, you'll find what you want. Ask for help from seniors and people you know to get you back into the job market. Ask and don't be afraid of hearing a NO, don't take a "no" personally. Ask and you shall seek. Meanwhile keep learning skills to up your prospects in whatever areas you want to work.

All the best!!
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Answered on May 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 20, 2024Hindi
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Hi Sir/ Ma'am. I am Venkatesh, and currently employed as a Territory Manager at a reputable NBFC. I am writing to seek your advice regarding a recent job offer I received from ICICI Bank. I was approached by ICICI Bank with a competitive compensation package, which prompted me to consider a potential switch. However, my current employer made a counteroffer to retain me by offering a salary correction. I accepted their offer and continued working with them. Unfortunately, due to some discrepancies, the Reserve Bank of India (RBI) has imposed a ban on our operations. This has caused significant concern for myself and my team members about our future prospects. In light of this situation, I kindly request your guidance on whether it would be advisable to stay with my current employer in the hope of things improving or to pursue the job opportunity search. I would greatly appreciate your insights and advice on this matter.
Ans: Dear Venkatesh!

I can totally understand you predicament. You made choices about ICICI and your NBFC reputed firm. Don't look back at all and don't beat yourself about the choice you made. I am sure you made an informed choice weighing all pros and cons. This is life happening ... RBI ban and all that...it is not because of you and it not under your control. How you respond to the challenge and emerge a winner is all that you have to see. You are a loyal employee so you informed before quitting and they didn't want you to leave because they valued you. It was a WIN-WIN for both of you. It's time to weigh your pros and cons again and take an informed decision and create a WIN WIN. I wish your company gives you all a clear picture and be open about your future, it's the worst situation when a company keeps their employees hanging like this. See if you can talk to a senior(or people)you can trust and ask him clearly what to do! Take opinions from people around and make an informed choice. Meanwhile, you create your goals for the future- your financial goals, family goals , goals in all areas of your life and see whether your goals will be met by sticking to the company or looking for a job elsewhere. The way you say ICICI approached you and then your company tried to retain you, you are a man with great potential and integrity. This time around look for solutions that suit you , your goals and your family!!
All the very best!!
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Answered on May 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Hello. I am a 35 year old widow. I have completed B.E and worked in TCS for 2 yrs. After marriage I had a ten long yrs of career break. Due to unexpected demise of my husband, I am strangled with my 6 yr old daughter. I don't know how to look for a job. I am not interested in software jobs. Please guide me. How to proceed. I want to live a respectable life.
Ans: Hi!!

It is very sad that you lost your life partner at such a young age. I know it is going to be tough for sometime. What I do know is that, because you are an Engineer, you have work experience with TCS, it is not going to be as tough as it seems and it will take sometime but you will be earning and living a respectable life!! Take informed decisions and start taking one step at a time towards your goal of a respectable life.

I am a little troubled that you said, "I am strangled with a 6 yr old daughter". You gave birth to her, she is your responsibility, she is totally dependent on you. You do have your daughter as your mate on this journey of life. Children are always a blessing, don't believe anyone who says otherwise. Cherish her and love her. Let the bond between the mother and daughter grow to be beautiful one. After the death of a spouse, people around have this tendency to say things that has an effect on you, just trust yourself, you are 35 yrs old, believe in yourself. You are mother and motherhood gives you a lot of strength, tap into it and move ahead in life for the sake of the little one.

Now to look into building your career, earning money and living a respectable life, here are some options to look into..

1. check with TCS if you can go back, lots of these big companies love it if their previous employees come back to work with them. Look around for a senior, a friend who can suggest the courses you can do now, to get back into the job market
2. you said you don't want to get into software, how about HR or teaching?
3. take a hard look at all your strengths and weaknesses, what you would like to do, get skilled in that area and start looking for the jobs in that area
4. create a goal card, let this always be in front of you. Have goals for every area of your life

Take care of your mental, emotional and physical health!! Look for people you uplift you and give you strength. Stay away from negative people.

Loads of prayers and blessings to both you and your daughter!!
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Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi
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My daughter is 10 years old, she dnt want to study at all.we forced her to study then she learned as I am also a working women and her father is in abroad. So, we arrange one home tutor and in evening I taught her also. I explained all subjects throughly to understand her basics. At that time only she studied otherwise she didn't want to study by her own. She always need a pressure for studies due to this her marks are not good at all. She is an average student. Pls suggest what to do?
Ans: Hi!!
A working mother, husband working abroad, there is only so much you can do. Spend quality time with your daughter, bond with her on stuff other than studies, that brings happiness to both of you.
If you as a mother know your child's potential then, this should be good. You are saying she is an average student then set a certain percentage that she can score, when she scores that much then celebrate it. Let her live a balanced life, right amount of time spent on studies and other skills. Expose her to other skills like, music, sports, debating, story telling... she will soon discover something where she excels!!

Set a time for studies, let her study during that time and rest of the time don't keep talking about studies, discuss and do something else. Explain to her why studying is important, make gaining knowledge, studying a rewarding experience. Every child comes with their set of strengths and success. As a mother cherish your child and enjoy your time together. Your child is unique, do not compare her with anyone else.
Inspire her to be happy, healthy and knowledgeable by you being so!!

Happy Parenting! Best wishes
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Answered on May 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello Madam, My daughter is 12 yr old and is in class 7th. She is not at all interested in studies. She is also not interested in making new friends. She is always busy on playing games on mobile. Studies just one week prior to exams. Her behavior is also becoming rude day by day. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Hello!!
The addiction to mobile after COVID is a menace every parent is facing. The good part is she is aware about her exams and studies at least one week before her exams.

The rude behaviour, lack of focus on studies is all stemming from the mobile games. They are highly addictive and the thrill they give is beyond imagination. Slowly but surely you have to take away the mobile from her, that's the only way to help her look for other sources to keep her busy .Friends, new skills and studies will get her attention only when the mobile is away.

Allocate time for food, sleep, studies, play time and also mobile time( can't just take away the mobile, has to be weaned away from it gradually), in a day. Set a timer for the mobile usage, she has to return the mobile as soon as the timer bell rings.

Pls remember you are the adult here, she is just a child. Guide her, lead her towards better and interesting things to do. You all as a family have to stop sitting with the mobile, start reading books ,play board games , learn a new skill, sing songs, cook together, bake together, you make everything at home an interesting activity, joyful activity, why will a child sit on the mobile?
It is a going to be lot of hard work for you and if the end result of this is seeing your daughter away from the mobile, laughing and talking to her friends, playing around, studying well.....then this is worth all the effort.
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Answered on May 06, 2024

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my son is 8 year old studying in Class 3 . The classes occus is in Second shift from 11.30 am to 5.30 PM . after comming from the scholl he tired and not able to study in night . plz suggest the Correct time table for the second shift school child so that we can manage his tireness and keep improving him in balanced way.
Ans: Hello Saket!!

It is unfair to expect a child all of 08 to come back home from school late in the evening and study(I am assuming he is home by 6.30 PM). You can shift his study time to the morning hours, say from 8 to 10 AM.

Now to manage his well being after coming back from school.
Take care of the following-
1. it's a good time to introduce time management to your 8yr old son
2. on a Sunday when both of you are relatively free, involve him to make a time table for studies. Stick the time table in a place where it is visible to him
3.let him relax for an hr after coming back from school
4.if you assume 10 PM is his sleeping time( the child needs 9-12 hrs of sleep), and 7:45 PM is dinner time, some where between dinner time and sleeping time, see if you can manage a little bit of HW/studies
5. there is so much happening at school apart from studies, he is developing - social skills, coping mechanism, developing new ideas ,etc....let home be a place where he is loved, nourished and a place to relax and rejuvenate
6. have fixed time to study and make him study during those hours.

You cannot be rigid, every child's requirements are different try out what suits you and your family!!

Happy parenting!!
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Answered on May 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Hello Sir/Ma'am I'm facing problems regarding money and career related. However I'm working I'm earning but I not able set a goal, and day by day I'm becoming older, family responsibilities can't be handled because of salary issues. What to do, when I was in 12th standard my sister advised me to choose engineering line, she gave me wrong advise now I'm suffering and she is also working earning well n good she is getting high package but I'm. I think my problem is I'm not able to set a goal. Please suggest me, guide me.
Ans: Hi!!

Can I begin by saying, "stop blaming anyone for your circumstances". Your sister advised you for your own good. Engineering is a good degree to have. If you are not happy with doing technical work then see if you can add an MBA or some other skills to increase your chances of earning more. Life is all about taking decisions on a minute to minute basis. Take the right decisions now, let's leave the past behind, thinking about it has no meaning now.
... will you promise me not to indulge in the three c's- don't COMPLAIN, CRITICIZE and CONDEMN!!
Let's look forward now ...
I always believe in putting everything that overwhelms me on paper... then it starts looking doable and simpler!
So that's your first task, put everything on paper( make a goal book, write everything in it), your desires, your dreams, your goals and a everyday to-do list.
The goals should be in every aspect of your life....
1. Financial Goal
2. Career Goal- what other skills do you need to earn the money you need and move ahead in your career
3. Relationships Goal, the quality of your life is based on the quality of your relationships
4. The goal of your physical and mental well being, if you are mentally and physically fit then you can live life well
5. How to be happy without any reason, that's your primary goal.... ask yourself "what are the ways in which I can have fun where money is not involved" - looking at the sun, spending time in nature, listening to the birds singing, playing with small children( they just want you, not your money), helping someone in need, sipping coffee peacefully, make a list of all these and try doing at least two of them every day.

I don't know how good is your relationship with your sister, you say she is doing well, can you ask for her help, without blaming? Ask for help and learn from her. I am sure blood is always thicker and she will help you.

Life is never a straight line, there will always be an up and a down!

Keep up your spirits, everyday is a new day, don't blame yourself, don't blame others. be kind to yourself and be kind to others.

Everyday, take one step towards your goals, move forward... and as regards to ageing, believe me age is just a number, you are as young as you think!!

Here's wishing you a happy, healthy , wealthy life ahead!!
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Answered on May 04, 2024

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Hello Archana, hope you’re doing well. My name is Sundeep Prakash with 10 years of experience into Software development in Bangalore, I would like to understand how could improve my visibility with my Org level. Any to-do list to follow. Kindly advise. Thanks
Ans: Hello Sundeep!
Yes I am doing well and hope the same for you!!

I would love to help you on this.
Here's the to do list for you to increase your visibility in your organisation-
1. always dress up for the next level. Always wear ironed clothes. A collared shirt, formal trousers, polished shoes. Your socks need to match your trousers. A neat formal belt. Belt and shoes to match . Look the part
2. hone your communication skills. Communicate in a concise and precise manner, with the right tonality. Be an assertive communicator
3. develop leadership qualities
4. build on the three C's - Confidence, Capability and Credibility
5. be an enthusiastic team player
6. develop public speaking skills, just look at all the leaders, they all speak so well, it is a learnable skill
7. grab the opportunities that come your way and prove that you are ready for the next level
8. don't participate in office gossip
9. help your juniors, every leader does this. The benefits of this are immense, you become better when you teach, you develop leadership skills, you create positivity in the office, you develop communication skills and you become popular
10. work hard, work smart

I don't want to overwhelm you with more, just do these 10 pointers and see the difference it'll make to your image in the office.

And above all believe in yourself, you have 10 yrs of experience and believe that you are ready to scale upwards now!

At the end of the day...be happy and spread happiness too!!

All the very best and more power to you!!
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Answered on Apr 30, 2024

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Dear Guru, I work in the technology space, and as with most careers, it is challenging and stressful. I work long hours (10-12hrs on avg). My problem is that I get disturbed sleep and am unable to get work related thoughts out of my mind wherein I even dream about solutions to work problems. I am afraid this is going to hurt my health and burn me out soon. Please advise on how I can detach from work to get a refreshing sleep.
Ans: Dear Bhawik!!

Pat yourself on the back for being a committed employee. The problems you have stated happen to most people who give their 100% to their work. Since you already know what it is to be 100% at work, it is time for you to give your 100% at home and to yourself.
You need to mentally detach yourself from work the moment you step out of the office building.
How will you do this? Adopt the following-
1. before leaving the office list out all the activities for tomorrow , prioritise them and mentally commit to them as tasks for tomorrow.
2. as soon as you exit the office building take three deep breaths , inhale and exhale deeply - this is called a transitioning breath which helps you transition from activity to another
3 establish rituals like listening to music( which you love) the moment you leave the building
4. if your transit form office to home takes some time, then practice being in the moment by looking around - the people, the trees, the sky, let all your senses be involved- use your eyes to see, nose to smell, ears to hear the sounds around, feel the breeze in your hair/ on your skin. This makes you feel 100% alive. Stay in the moment.
5. when you reach home, greet your loved ones with a smile
6. spend a little time doing nothing , just be
7. enjoy your meal mindfully
8.take a small walk after your meal
9.spend minimum of 10 mins doing something that brings you joy, for me it is reading a book, what is it for you?
10.take a bath with lukewarm water before you go to bed and then go for a guided "Yog Nidra"

Do not intellectualize these suggestions. Just do them. They are tried and tested methods for a proper demarcation between work and home life.
Best wishes for a life well lived and restful sleep..
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Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi, Im a 23 year old mechanical engineering graduate, currently unemployed, I am feeling to do some progress everyday, but day after day, nothing changes, I cant figure out what to do with this life and feeling very much lost, Cant think properly on doing what changes my life?
Ans: Hello!!

This information you have shared is not enough to understand what is that you are exactly wanting right now.
Let me see how I can help you. First of all extend your arm and pat yourself on the back for completing your engineering. You are a mechanical engineer!! Celebrate the fact and feel good about yourself.

I like the fact where you say "I am currently, unemployed", this can change soon, look out for opportunities, keep attending interviews, prepare well, ask for help, give it your best shot. Treat every failure as part of a learning process in becoming better next time. Surround yourself with positive and encouraging people.

Till you find a job, live life well on a day to day basis-
1. wake up early
2. exercise
3. eat well and sleep well
4. dress well at home too, don't be in your pyjamas, you should be in such a state that if someone asks you to come for an interview right away, you must be ready
5. beware of negative self talk... nip negative thoughts in the bud
6. looking for a job is your full time job, keep looking
7. be helpful around the house if you are living with your parents
8. till you find a job keep learning and building on your skills
9. volunteer to teach and help the less fortunate lot
10. do not sit idle, keep your body and mind active

Constantly invest in activities that ensure your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being!! Have rituals that focus on these four pillars of your life!

Blessings and all the very best!!
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Answered on Apr 25, 2024

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My son 14 yrs old studying in a best cbse english medium school but always have 50 to 60% marks. now he is in 9th class . what should be do for his future ?
Ans: Hello Mr Mukesh!!
Your son is lucky yo have a father who sends him to the best school. He is getting a good foundation. Investigate why he is scoring less. What do his teachers say about him? As a parent how do you evaluate your child? What is his level of understanding in each subject? Where does his interest lie in? Is he consistent with his studies, does he study regularly on a day to day basis? Remember you become a master in what you repeat, revising and recalling is also a very important part of studies to score good marks.

If your son's focus is good and intelligence levels are average, then he can score well with regular studies. Ensure he revises whatever is taught in the school everyday. Also check with him if he understands whatever is taught in the school. Your son is 14, he is a big boy now and can participate in problem solving. Involve him in decision making and empower your son. Let him participate in the process of he scoring good marks, every child wants to do well. Some children can study for an hour and score well, some children need to put in a little extra to score well. See if his score can be improved by having a home tutor. Make studying, gaining knowledge and scoring well a enjoyable, positive experience!

Best wishes to you for positive parenting and best wishes to your son for scoring well!!
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Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir, im a married business women running my own store but after i become a mother ,my business is going in loss. Is it im not will balancing between motherhood and business. Please give me some advice.
Ans: Hello!!
You are a married business woman and now you are a mother too!! Congratulations!!
There was a time in the world when a woman was revered just because she was a mother, she carried humanity forward, that in itself was a big responsibility. It is time to put the mother back on the pedestal.....in India they say giving birth, is like a 'punarjanam', rebirth for a woman. Don't you deserve some rest at least for 40 days before you start thinking of your business and all. Your body has undergone a lot during pregnancy and birth of your child. Rest a little, heal well and then get back to work. You deserve it!!

Now the action plan for you to perform the dual responsibility of a mother and a business woman with grace ..
Your baby totally needs you for the first 6 months because you need to breast feed her. Gradually get her used to other care givers. Build a good support system at home as well as at your store. Earmark an area at the store and at your home which can work as home/office. Don't feel guilty about carrying your baby to the office, remember how the New Zealand ex-PM Jacinda Ardern, carried her new born to the parliament?
It is a balancing act between the two... motherhood and business woman, it'll take time and you'll eventually learn it. Give yourself sometime, don't beat yourself down if there is a little loss now in your business or blame motherhood for the loss. With a new born your schedules will go haywire for sometime. Soon you and your baby will settle down into a routine, you'll have to work for that. Be very flexible, flow like a river for sometime, with your mental peace as the centre.
Don't try to do everything by yourself, delegate, seek help.

List out what is important for you in life. Have every task laid out on paper, plan and schedule activities, this one act will bring in a lot of peace to you. You'll never ever feel overwhelmed. Prioritize all tasks on a scale of 1 to 5. Keep your targets simple and doable on a day to day basis.

In between being a mother and a business woman, take care of yourself too!! Sleep well, eat well, 20 mins of physical activity and doing one thing that brings you joy( it can be as small as looking at the sun set or sipping your chai peacefully) on a daily basis will give you the strength to perform your balancing act.

Loads of blessings and best wishes!!
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Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 07, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am 41 working in it mnc. I did well in my career initially and then because of my carelessness and laid back attitude, I faltered and I am in a very depressive situation where I feel as complete failure who failed himself and his family. I am not sure how can I help myself come out of the situation. My wife is also worried and trying to cheer me up but it's not helping much. Please help how to come out of this and move ahead
Ans: Hello there!!
"The greatest success in not in never failing, but getting up every time you fail"!
It's time for you to get up and move!!
With the information you have given me, the conclusions I have drawn are that-
1. you are a person who is aware of what went wrong, this itself is a blessing. There are many who just move in life without being aware.
2. you are still working, you have a job at an MNC. That's good!! Had you been so bad as you are describing yourself, you would not be still working, so cheer up!!
3. you have a caring wife, she is trying to cheer you up .You are lucky.
4 . you are an intelligent man, hence you did well in your job initially

Now the way forward-
1. with so little information you have given me , I have listed 4 things you need to be grateful for. Every morning you'll count your blessings and write them down or say it aloud. You'll repeat this activity before going to sleep.
2. spend 20 mins walking amidst nature. Physical activity and spending time in nature is a must everyday. I am sure taking 20 mins in a day for this should be easy.
The above two activities will make your depressive mood run far away from you.

Next plan of action ,for you to move further in you career-
1. first and foremost forgive yourself for your carelessness and laid back attitude. Past is past ,forget it.
2. plan every action of yours with one leg in the future, is there a new skill set you need to learn or improve upon your Image, Soft skills , leadership skills , etc in order to have an edge over others. Think about it and learn new skills.
3. do not compare yourself with anyone, it's your journey at your own pace. Compare yourself with others if you feel inspired else do not compare.
4. you are just 41.... there is still a long life ahead. Don't beat yourself down for a few mistakes ...Just look ahead now...Look forward to a beautiful future with your family.

All the very best!!
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Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 05, 2024Hindi
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Hi , I wish to “Write in English” as a Profession , as that happens to be one of my core competency . It gives me a lot of soulful satisfaction & propels me to continue writing further . My Drafting & command over English Writing has been my primary strength right from my schooling days but I committed the mistake of not choosing it as a career . Hence , Post doing my B.E. & M.B.A. , I worked in decent Corporates for 16 Years but went on to quit the last Job in 2021 as I felt stagnant & monotonous doing what I was into . I was immensely appreciated for my e-mail drafts & Write-ups in all the Organisations I worked in but that had no weightage in my KRA . I did pretty well in my professional career with the exception of the last couple of months wherein I felt a bit lost & as a result , was not enjoying my work . I am into my 44th Year & now convinced to follow my dream professionally ( i.e Writing & penning down what comes my way) but am somewhat clueless how to move ahead . I am not there for the in-vogue content writing stuffs , online blogs etc. but want to write on something substantial or small interesting / soothing write-ups that interests a major chunk of the readers . Kindly help me with all the specific / possible options wherein I can directly target , that would probably yield me results ASAP . Please give detailed info with the probable sources to explore-in , as generic one-liners may not help , as I am blank on whom to approach . Looking forward to your much value added counselling & the probable avenues that may break the ice for me . Thanks & Regards !!! Pls. Keep up with the Good-Work you guys are doing with this Q&A Consultancy Guided Section .
Ans: HI!!
The way you have stated your needs so clearly shows that you have good writing skills, so no doubts about your writing skills.

In the message you mentioned that you quit your job in 2021 and yet you say you are not enjoying work since the last couple of months. A little confusion there for me, I am assuming you are still working. You also mention that you did pretty well professionally, this shows a mind that can work well even when it not totally into the work heart and soul. Try to find positive reasons around your work.
You are 44 you said, at this age we all are at loggerheads with what we studied, what we are doing for a living and what we are passionate about! I have been there..

I need to say a little about myself in order to answer your question. I am an Engineer too, today I am Image Consultant and a Soft Skills Trainer. I used to work with one of the top telecom companies, my Mentor there used to say an Engineer can do anything and me and you are proving that. You are a BE, MBA and you have exceptional writing skills.

As a public speaking skills coach I used to write speeches for clients and help them deliver with panache. One of my long standing clients said no to the classes after I increased the fees. Where did she get her strength from to say no?....AI and Chatgpt, even though she always said it doesn't have the AD (Archana Deshpande) effect!! Why I am mentioning such a personal incident is to help you understand the scenario today.
You want to write good stuff and earn money too, rt? You don't want that typical content writer kind of jobs... so what I suggest is that since a BE MBA is a deadly combo and you are an intelligent man, pls continue to use these to earn money. I want you to google, "platforms for writers to make money" and check all your options, for sometime write and publish on various platforms, send it to various newspapers, see how people respond to you. I know your joy comes from writing so go for it on a day to day basis, schedule it everyday. When you continue to do tasks that bring you joy, your doing all the things that are compulsory becomes easy( like going to office). Test the waters before you quit your well paying job( and yourself mentioned you are doing pretty well). Plan to write a book on a subject that comes easily to you or a book of short stories around your experiences. Today Mrs Sudha Murthy is a celebrated writer, look at her journey as writer, it didn't happen overnight. There is no ASAP here. You want to become a writer professionally, take it slow, start writing, start publishing you work, gauge the readers reaction, keep writing, keep reinventing, it's a creative process, let it flow through you without the stress of earning money through it.... it's joy for you to write, let it remain so!! Create a beautiful space at home to allow the creative juices to flow, continue to write everyday. Apart form writing, check what else brings you joy, on a day to day basis consciously spend time doing things that bring you joy. Enthusiasm/energy for life comes from your joy list. I am listing so many things because you mentioned you are not enjoying your job. I want you to arrive at a place where you enjoy your job( it pays your bills and takes care of your family) and continue to work on stuff you are passionate about. It can be done by living a little consciously and joyously, a little shift in the mindset can do wonders!!
All the very best!!
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Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 28, 2024Hindi
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I have 17 yrs experience in the Recruitment field, yet have Not been able to build my skills. I have not become a manager and so my salary has not grown. I have worked in consultancies only (not companies ) At age 47, I feel burnout, and am without job opportunity due to stability and age . Pl advise.
Ans: Hi!!You have the experience, 17 yrs ….build your future on it! Nothing in life ever goes waste. Look a little deeper into yourself, why is that you didn’t become a manager? What skills you need? Looking the part, leadership skills, public speaking, communication skills? In today’s world you can learn any skill that you want… believe in yourself, perform a SWOT analysis ( Google SWOT ) .
Put everything on paper… you’ll get a lot of clarity and it will no longer overwhelm you. Any age is a good age to start learning. You are just 47… there is still a whole life ahead of you!!
Burnout comes when you stop learning and not doing stuff that brings you joy. Next 30 days., you’ll do the following-
1. 20 mins of physical activity, it can be anything which makes your heart beat faster, brisk walks, dancing non- stop , etc
2. 10-15 mins of any activity which fills your heart with joy,( make your joy list, start doing one of them every day) Your energy for life comes from your joy list!
3 spending time in nature ( nature heals you)
4. Up skilling yourself
Forget the past now, we can’t change it…plan all of your today with one step in the future and it all starts with taking care of yourself..
All the best…
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Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024
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Supposedly there is an event of my office on xyz date and I am incharge of handling the crowd. I am not into any groups and I just know people by their names and designation. Now, I am very scared for no reason (maybe managing alone, getting to the venue alone can be the probable reason). I have never encountered such fear before. Please guide
Ans: Hi!! Thank you for reaching out, the first step to overcoming your fear is already done! You asked for help…. kudos to you!! Pat yourself on the back for that.
Now the next step to overcoming fear is by befriending it…. how do you do that? By just doing it, no thinking, just doing, taking action…the example you have taken of the office event, let’s simplify that for you…
1 put everything on paper, break down the tasks into smaller doable chunks and do it
2. check if some of the tasks can be delegated, you need not do everything on your own
3. prepare well, visit the venue a day before, become familiar with the surroundings, there is comfort in this activity, it takes the fear out of being in unfamiliar surroundings
4. get to know your crowd, you know the names and designations, now attach a picture of them along with it, see how you are taking the fear of the unknown and making yourself comfortable here..
And remember someone believes you can handle this, they saw your capability and gave you this activity, just believe in yourself, just do it!! Striving for excellence is in your hands, the result is not in yours.If you get 80% of the job right in this event, then it’s a success, there is nothing called as a perfect event!! All the best????
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Answered on Mar 21, 2024

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Good Day Madam, I have 2 son, aged 11 and 7. The elder one is very intelligent, performs really good in school, high appreciated in school. But 1. he is slow, he eats, performs tasks - bathing, brushing etc all very very slowly, and his diet is less than my younger one. 2. His physical growth too is not very good, and is one of the shortest, thinnest in class. We do worry about him a lot. But then he stood 1st in racing in class ! 3. Also if we give/ teacher gives him a task he does it perfectly, but he cannot think /innovate, for which we feel is he been spoon feeded? 4. We both also feel sometimes that he is very capable and we are not able to give him direction/guidance/environment to excel.
Ans: Ashishji can you pls reframe the question? The concerns are about which child, the elder one or the younger one? Pls come back again...But for now, I can say when we have two children we are always comparing... if they are of the same sex then the comparison goes up, manifold. Can we treat each child as an individual? Treat each child separately, address each child's concerns, his strengths and weaknesses separately. You have listed so many positives in your children. Give a lot of positive strokes to each child. It is important that you spend time individually with each child. You want them to grow up as happy, healthy children and supportive brothers then STOP COMAPARING the children !! For your elder one, time to focus on so many strengths he already has, nurture his talents, give him an atmosphere where he can flourish and hire experts to hone his skills. I know this feeling, when we have very intelligent children, we always think we are incapable as parents. As a parent you are the best well wisher for the child, this is the only relation in this universe where someone ( your child) is more important than yourself, trust yourself as a parent, YOU WANT ONLY THE BEST FOR YOUR CHILD!! Cherish each child, they are gifts from GOD! Happy parenting...
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Answered on Mar 21, 2024

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I am a B.Com with 42 years of accounts experience. I am 71 years of age and working as a part time accountant . My wife wants me to anyway do something and get a job with higher salary as I am presnetly paid Rs.11000/- per month for working between 9.30AM and 1.30 PM. I am being pestered and forced. But not able to get an alternative job because of my age. Please advice
Ans: Veeraraagavanji, at the age of 71 yrs, you are doing a great job. You have job, you are working 9:30 AM to 1:30 AM and earning 11k, which is fantastic. At your age most ppl live a retired life. You have worked all your life, it's time for you to take it easy and enjoy doing things you like after your working hours, no one should pester you. Pls sit down with your wife and talk it out, communication is the key. How old is your wife? Does she work too?? Are there any money concerns? If there are money concerns then try taking classes at home on subjects that you like, accounts maybe for commerce graduates or Maths for young children. You can conduct classes online too.
It's time for you and your wife to live a happy life together and enjoy each other's company, you are lucky to have each other, my father in law is 82 and without a partner for the last 12 yrs. Cherish each other ...
Asked on - Mar 22, 2024 | Answered on Mar 26, 2024
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My wife is 64 years old and housewife but she has a small building gifted to her by her brother and two engineering units work there on rental basis of Rs.20000 totally per month. Though I have 42 years experience in accounts earlier to this company i worked on VAT. On joining this present company now it is GST and our company auditor handles it. Now my wife blames me why I am not conversant with GST. I am not able to get alternative job because of my age. Placement services dont entertain candidates above 45 to 50 years of age. Only alternative is to keep my ears closed and do my present job till I my company allows me to work. I am a father of two daughters, both of them have completed their college education got married and settled down. Now Only my wife and myself life in a rented house and my second daughter lives next to our house.
Ans: Whatever you have written here, can you pls sit down with your wife and explain it to her! You are already working and earning money. You and your wife at this stage in life deserve to be living a life of mutual love and respect! Talk to her and tell her so.. after raising two beautiful girls and having settled them well, you both deserve to live a life in peace!
If you still can learn about GST, no harm in it , right? Any learning will never go waste, moreover in today’s time you can learn anything from the internet!
Look at the reasons why your wife is nagging you, she must be unhappy somewhere, take care of her emotional needs and well being, praise her for the things she does for you or has done in the past! Communication is the key here, both of you deserve to live a happy life! Make her financially literate, both of you sit down and list out your needs and desires! Chalk out a plan to achieve them together, you both are a team, it’s time you work as a team against any problem that comes your way!!Remember, love, respect and communication is the key for a harmonious life ahead! All the best…
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Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2024Hindi
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My daughter was a above average kid till 10 and somehow even ended up as her school topper in 10th . But after that she slowly became very bad at it, to a level that now she's in a bad college with a bad branch which even she doesn't know why she choose. And i just got to know she failed maths in her 2nd sem? What to do with her?
Ans: Hi!! As a parent , I know it is worrisome to see a child who was so good till 10th, and then the sudden slump. This happens with many bright children...after school, the outside world looks very different.
However cliche it may sound, a failure is a stepping stone to success. There is definitely something to learn for all of you in this whole episode. Whenever something goes wrong in your work place, you sit down, you call for a meeting and solve the issue by listing out the pros and cons in a respectful atmosphere. You come up with solutions, don't you? A similar situation has arisen at home, create an atmosphere of love and respect at home, list the pros and cons of the choices in front of you. If you think , it's a bad college, bad branch t and she has failed in one subject, Maths , then look out for other options. Ask her opinion in every decision. Before you sit down with her , you, as parent think it out thoroughly what is best for her. If quitting the college is an option then you have to give her choices of what next. There is never a right or wrong, what best suits your child, is the best solution. Keeping your daughter happy, healthy and productive is what you need to look at. No blame games please, jo beet gayi so baat gayi.... just look forward. Look for solutions and pls create a WIN WIN solution. It's your daughter, you need to love her, cherish her and help her out. All the best..
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Answered on Mar 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2024Hindi
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I am a 23 year old BTech graduate from Mumbai, jobless since a year now. I have applied to several jobs and attended 12 interviews in the last 3 months. Either the HR doesn't call or there is no feedback at all. I am feeling very low and dejected. I want to know if there is anything I can do to improve myself and get a job soon. How can I boost my self-confidence and self-worth? Pls help
Ans: Hi!! You are still young and it's just the beginning for you, don't feel dejected pls. There is always something to learn from a rejection ,be supremely self aware and be aware of the interviewer ,read other's body language and master your own body language to give out the right messages. See if you can learn interview skills form an expert. Make notes after every interview, rate yourself on-
1. your confidence level( the first impression you gave, your clothing, your shoes, how you entered the room, everything makes a difference)
2. the answers you gave
3. interviewer's reaction to your answers
4. how truthful and honest you were
5. was this better than your last interview
(you can keep adding to your list)
The only way to boost your self confidence and self worth is to believe that you are worthy of all good things in the world. Give yourself lot of self love, there are talents in you which no other person has, look for that! Look at yourself in the mirror every morning, affirm all the things you want in yourself and for yourself!!Just google " self affirmations" and make your own list of affirmations... ....give yourself lot of positive strokes throughout the day, be your best cheer leader, pat yourself on the back for every good act. All the best...remember to be your best cheer leader!!
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Answered on Feb 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Hindi
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My 12 YO is very good at studies, art and craft. However when it comes to presentation and communication skills, he fumbles and gets nervous on the stage or whenever he has to present something in front of an audience. For example, he is unable to perform well in skits, story narration and tends to forget whatever he has learned or rehearsed. It is affecting his confidence. Is this normal? How can I help him?
Ans: Hi!! First of all congratulations ,let's celebrate the fact that your son is good at studies as well as art and crafts! You'll be shocked to know that a vast majority of people in the world rank public speaking as their number one fear, your son is just 12 yrs old ,a little nervous while presenting and communicating in front of others! First and foremost, all this is normal, you have to deal it with sensitivity and help him address and overcome this fear and anxiety, it will take time though, do some research or hire a communication skills expert/public speaking expert to help him become confident in this area of his life! Having helped ppl become good public speakers and good communicators I know it can taught and can be learned. However pls go slow,(sometimes it can take months of practice) make him learn 5 lines and narrate it to you. Once he gains confidence and narrates this flawlessly, then increase his difficulty level. You have said that he fumbles and gets nervous in front of an audience, till he gains his confidence in this aspect of his life give a break to performances to large gatherings. Let him perform within the family first, then to an extended( but encouraging) family. then to larger group of friends and family and then maybe after a yr or so he can perform in front of a large audience. Ensure the script you give him is well woven together and has words and sentences which he can understand, this way it is easy for him to recall and narrate. Also remember every interaction is like a public speaking exercise, so whenever he is narrating something, let him talk fearlessly, don't interrupt, don't correct while he is talking. If he is good at studies then definitely he has a good memory and is intelligent . Fumbling and forgetting lines while performing is due to anxiety. Help him to relax before a performance, breathing exercises and visualization will help. He will require lots of love, encouragement , support in order to regain his confidence first and then become good at public speaking. Let him take his time, show a lot of patience, and with an encouraging parent like you he can be a good public speaker. But if it doesn't work out, it's ok, give a break to it. Start focusing on his strengths, give him lot of positive strokes, let him gain his confidence back and maybe you can give it a shot few months down the line. Wishing you both the very best and HAPPY PARENTING!! Have fun with your child.....let public speaking be a fun activity too...
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