Me and a guy are at talking stage and he only talks to me for 30 mins in the whole day while I wait for him to reply. He tells me that it will take him around 4 months to actually tell me if he wants to date me or not. Is this normal or he is just a red flag

Ans: He’s traveling with another girl and refuses to talk to you? Please stop behaving like a doormat and dump his sorry ass! Immediately! He’s playing you and you’re being played. Don’t ever let anyone treat you with such disrespect.

Ans: Dear Yashasvi,

Is it normal? Yes; people, both girls and guys, often lose interest. The initial spark fades and people move on in search of the same spark somewhere else. But is it okay to behave this erratically? No. It is selfish. The early stage spark fades for every couple, but a relationship is a commitment. Couples in a happy and healthy relationship rebuild their own spark every day, instead of bailing once things start to become mundane.

If your guy has left you after mere two months, count yourself lucky. You don't want to date such people; you can do a lot better than him.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Sometimes people are truly busy in their work place especially if they have meetings of deadlines coming up. But, if you are feeling that your partner can put a little more effort and reply to your messages, you are not wrong. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, do not ignore it. Talk to him directly. Tell him that you do not appreciate the way he is acting. There is nothing wrong in standing up for what you think you deserve. And as a matter of fact, you do not deserve to feel this way in a relationship. Talk about it.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

There are no hard and fast rules of a relationship. It is different for everyone. One difference in a relationship between two adults is the burden of responsibilities each has to carry. There’s family, social obligations, and then a busy work schedule. There isn’t as much free time as you have in your youth. The important thing is the quality of the conversation and consistency.

Understand his schedule. Is he swamped with work all day? Does he have a stressful work environment? Does he have other commitments before and after work? Everything together can keep a person understandably busy. But that does not mean he can not find five minutes during the day to reach out to you, even when you have expressed the desire to speak to him.

You should communicate your issue as an ‘adult’. Let him know that you understand his situation but adults also openly discuss their needs and expectations. And when it isn’t aligned, they compromise and meet each other somewhere in the middle, so that both partners’ needs are met.

The bottom line is that neither of you are wrong. Some people crave more communication than others. It does not mean one is more in love than the other. It is merely a matter of personal preference. But you should not be the only one adjusting. If your current situation is not working for you, have a clear discussion and make changes that will work for both of you.

Best Wishes.