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Need a Break from Relationship - Distancing Boyfriend, Should I Initiate?

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |180 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I realised that my boyfriend needs a break from the relationship to fix his life. He never said it himself, but slowly distancing himself. This is disturbing me. Should I initiate the break? How should I prevent myself from contacting him during this break period? I am worried that what if the break turns into a breakup.

Ans: What is disturbing you - (1) the break (2) or he wanting to fix his life. You need to know you cannot fix him, you can stand by him and he needs to work on himself. If he has asked for a break or distancing himself give him the space. Let him know nicely without emotions that you know he is distancing himself and that you are around. Ask him if you can contact him during this time - if he says a no then respect it. And if this leads to a breakup then it is what is, its unfortunate though.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 16, 2023

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Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it easy for boys tot alk about breakup ..pls tell urgently
Ans: Dear Yashasvi

It's important to understand that everyone needs their space and time to themselves at times, and it seems like your boyfriend has communicated to you that he needs some time alone. However, it's also important for him to communicate his needs clearly and respectfully to you.

It's understandable that you may be feeling hurt and confused by his behavior and lack of communication. It's important for you to take care of your own emotions and needs as well.

If you feel like you're not getting the communication and support you need from your boyfriend, it may be helpful to have an honest conversation with him about your concerns and feelings. However, it's important to approach the conversation in a calm and respectful manner, and to listen to his perspective as well.

It's also important to recognize that if your boyfriend is unwilling to communicate or work on the relationship, it may be a sign that he is not ready or willing to continue the relationship. In this case, it may be best to take some time to focus on yourself and your own needs.

In general, it's not easy for anyone, regardless of gender, to talk about a potential breakup. It's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, while also being honest about your own feelings and needs.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2023

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Relationship
Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it so easy for boys to talk about breakup ..pls tell urgently. I don't feel valued and respected as If I was imp for him he would not talk abt breakup so easily.
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You are right in not feeling valued and respected because this so-called boyfriend isn not valuing or respecting you!
He wants a break? Give yourself a break from him as you focus on your studies and build a good social circle. He does not want a serious relationship right now and is moving on by going out with others...
So, why are you waiting for that commitment? What more do you want him to tell you over a call for you to know that he is not interested in a steady relationship that you might be looking for?
Maintain your value and respect; and if you still in doubt, let me tell you; YES, people need space and time to re-think things but surely a call or a text does not require a huge investment of time.
To look at it form his side, maybe he is confused about this whole thing and does not want to hurt you and that is hurting you.
So, give yourself time so, you can feel better emotionally. Spend time with your friends and family:) Laugh a lot; these are phases of life and not a permanent state.

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

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Hello sir. I am a 27 year old in a 4 year old long distance relationship. I need your help today. I will get straight to the point.I want to break up with my boyfriend. I am no more happy in this relationship. We have only met once just before the pandemic started. Since then,audio,video calls,text messages have been our solace. Despite our own shares of fights and arguements we always came back together and loved each other like never before. Earlier ,we used to be in touch constantly no matter how busy we are in our own lives.I know, change is constant. Nobody and nothing remains the same. I feel alone in this relationship. I have also shared my feelings regarding the lack of communication between us.I have always shared my annoyance with him and next day he will be in touch again. Now we are back to square one.I miss him but I don't feel like talking to him. I respect his schedule and efforts towards self improvement. But i no more feel the same way. I am not even attracted to anyone else let me clarify.But I don't feel happy anymore and feel any love for him. I don't know why I am feeling this way and how will I get over this ? What is the most effective way out? Please help me! Ayu
Ans: Hi Ayu,

I understand that you're going through a difficult time in your long-distance relationship, and you're considering ending things with your boyfriend. It's not an easy decision to make, but sometimes it's necessary for our own well-being.

It sounds like you've tried to communicate your feelings to your boyfriend, but the lack of communication between you two has persisted. It's important to have open and honest communication in any relationship, and if that's not happening, it can be challenging to maintain a healthy connection.

It's also important to remember that relationships go through ups and downs, and it's normal to experience periods of disconnection. However, if you've reached a point where you no longer feel happy or fulfilled in the relationship, it may be time to consider moving on.

Here are some steps you can take to help you navigate this situation:

Take time to reflect: It's important to take some time to reflect on your feelings and why you're feeling this way. Think about what you want and need in a relationship, and whether your current relationship is meeting those needs.

Communicate your decision: Once you've made the decision to end things, it's important to communicate that to your boyfriend in a clear and respectful way. Be honest about your feelings and why you've made this decision.

Take care of yourself: Ending a relationship can be emotionally challenging, so it's important to take care of yourself during this time. Lean on friends and family for support, engage in self-care activities, and seek professional help if needed.

Create a plan for moving forward: It's important to have a plan for moving forward after the breakup. This might include cutting off communication with your ex for a period of time, focusing on your own personal growth and goals, and exploring new hobbies or interests.

Remember, it's normal to feel sad or uncertain after a breakup, but it's important to prioritize your own well-being and make choices that align with your values and goals. I hope this advice helps, and I wish you all the best as you navigate this difficult time.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My boyfriend and I, we are in long distance relationship for past 8 months now, we meet via common friend. He was the one who proposed to be in an exclusive thing, so I agreed. One month ago he went out with this former Tinder date without letting me know and that guy approached to kiss him and he stopped (that’s what he told me). He confessed to me about the whole event, but on asking why he went out he simply said because he was feeling very lonely and since I was very busy and didn’t talk to him for one whole day (it felt like he was blaming it on me). Now I’ve always been very clear to him that I want only one thing, that is loyalty. I had two questions if he had told the guy that he is in a relationship and when he approached to kiss him if he has told him the same thing and that’s why he can’t reciprocate, to both the questions his answer to me was no. I gave him a second chance, but I’ve very strong principles about loyalty and cheating. I tried to look over past it, I know he didn’t cheat physically but the emotional factor is still eating me. He keeps on saying that he loves me a lot and that it feels like an eternity to not talk to me for even one day. I don’t know is it gaslighting or lovebombing? Should I breakup with him?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that infidelity is intolerable in a relationship and you are completely right to be mad at him. I can't tell you whether to break up or not, but I can assure you that you are not at fault here. If he tries to put the blame on you, do not let him. That would clearly be gaslighting.
Next, if you think you cannot trust him again or you are always going to wonder if he is cheating on you again or going out with others without your knowledge, I'd suggest you rethink the relationship. Do not rush to break up, but do not rush to forgive and forget either; the least he can give you is some time.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10879 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I am 56 yrs old with two sons, both married and settled. They are living on their own and managing their finances. I have around 2.5 Cr. invested in Direct Equity and 50L in Equity Mutual Funds. I have Another 50L savings in Bank and other secured investments. I am living in Delhi NCR in my owned parental house. I have two properties of current market worth of 2 Cr, giving a monthly rental of around 40K. I wish to retire and travel the world now with my wife. My approximate yearly expenditure on house hold and travel will be around 24 L per year. I want to know, if this corpus is enough for me to retire now and continue to live a comfortable life.
Ans: You have built a strong base. You have raised your sons well. They live independently. You and your wife now want a peaceful and enjoyable retired life. You have created wealth with discipline. You have no home loan. You live in your own house. This gives strength to your cash flow. Your savings across equity, mutual funds, and bank deposits show good clarity. I appreciate your careful preparation. You deserve a happy retired life with travel and comfort.

» Your Present Position
Your current financial position looks very steady. You hold direct equity of around Rs 2.5 Cr. You hold equity mutual funds worth Rs 50 lakh. You also have Rs 50 lakh in bank deposits and other secured savings. Your two rental properties add more comfort. You earn around Rs 40,000 per month from rent. You also live in your owned house in Delhi NCR. So you have no rent expense.

Your total net worth crosses Rs 5.5 Cr easily. This gives you a strong base for your retired life. You plan to spend around Rs 24 lakh per year for all expenses, including travel. This is reasonable for your lifestyle. Your savings can support this if planned well. You have built more than the minimum needed for a comfortable retired life.

» Your Key Strengths
You already enjoy many strengths. These strengths hold your plan together.

You have zero housing loan.

You have stable rental income.

You have children living independently.

You have a balanced mix of assets.

You have built wealth with discipline.

You have clear goals for travel and lifestyle.

You have strong liquidity with Rs 50 lakh in bank and secured savings.

These strengths reduce risk. They support a smooth retired life with less stress. They also help you handle inflation and medical costs better.

» Your Cash Flow Needs
Your yearly expense is around Rs 24 lakh. This includes travel, which is your main dream for retired life. A couple at your stage can keep this lifestyle if the cash flow is planned well. You need cash flow clarity for the next 30 years. Retirement at 56 can extend for three decades. So your wealth must support you for a long period.

Your rental income gives you around Rs 4.8 lakh per year. This covers almost 20% of your yearly spending. This reduces pressure on your investments. The rest can come from a planned withdrawal strategy from your financial assets.

You also have Rs 50 lakh in bank deposits. This acts as liquidity buffer. You can use this buffer for short-term and medium-term needs. You also have equity exposure. This can support long-term growth.

» Risk Capacity and Risk Need
Your risk capacity is moderate to high. This is because:

You own your home.

You have rental income.

Your children are financially independent.

You have large accumulated assets.

You have enough liquidity in bank deposits.

Your risk need is also moderate. You need growth because inflation will rise. Travel costs will rise. Medical costs will increase. Your lifestyle will change with age. Your equity portion helps you beat inflation. But your equity exposure must be managed well. You should avoid sudden large withdrawals from equity at the wrong time.

Your stability allows you to keep some portion in equity even during retired life. But you should avoid excessive risk through direct equity. Direct equity carries concentration risk. A balanced mix of high-quality mutual funds is safer in retired life.

» Direct Equity Risk in Retired Life
You hold around Rs 2.5 Cr in direct equity. This brings some concerns. Direct equity needs frequent tracking. It needs research. It carries single-stock risk. One mistake may reduce your capital. In retired life, you need stability, clarity, and lower volatility.

Direct funds inside mutual funds also bring challenges. Direct funds lack personalised support. Regular plans through a Mutual Fund Distributor with a Certified Financial Planner bring guidance and strategy. Regular funds also support better tracking and behaviour management in volatile markets. In retired life, proper handholding improves long-term stability.

Many people think direct funds save cost. But the value of advisory support through a CFP gives higher net gains over long periods. Direct plans also create more confusion in asset allocation for retirees.

» Mutual Funds as a Core Support
Actively managed mutual funds remain a strong pillar. They bring professional management and risk controls. They handle market cycles better than index funds. Index funds follow the market blindly. They do not help in volatile phases. They also offer no risk protection. They cannot manage quality of stocks.

Actively managed funds deliver better selection and risk handling. A retiree benefits from such active strategy. You should avoid index funds for a long retirement plan. You should prefer strong active funds under a disciplined review with a CFP-led MFD support.

» Why Regular Plans Work Better for Retirees
Direct plans give no guidance. Retired investors often face emotional decisions. Some panic during market fall. Some withdraw heavily during market rise. This harms wealth. Regular plan under a CFP-led MFD gives a relationship. It offers disciplined rebalancing. It improves long-term returns. It protects wealth from poor behaviour.

For retirees, the difference is huge. So shifting to regular plans for the mutual fund portion will help long-term stability.

» Your Withdrawal Strategy
A planned withdrawal strategy is key for your case. You should create three layers.

Short-Term Bucket
This comes from your bank deposits. This should hold at least 18 to 24 months of expenses. You already have Rs 50 lakh. This is enough to hold your short-term cash needs. You can use this for household costs and some travel. This avoids panic selling of equity during market downturn.

Medium-Term Bucket
This bucket can stay partly in low-volatility debt funds and partly in hybrid options. This should cover your next 5 to 7 years. This helps smoothen withdrawals. It gives regular cash flow. It reduces market shocks.

Long-Term Bucket
This can stay in high-quality equity mutual funds. This bucket helps beat inflation. This bucket helps fund your travel dreams in later years. This bucket also builds buffer for medical needs.

This three-bucket strategy protects your lifestyle. It also keeps discipline and clarity.

» Handling Property and Rental Income
Your properties give Rs 40,000 monthly rental. This helps your cash flow. You should maintain the property well. You should keep some funds aside for repairs. Do not depend fully on rental growth. Rental yields remain low. But your rental income reduces pressure on your investments. So keep the rental income as a steady support, not a primary source.

You should not plan more real estate purchase. Real estate brings low returns and poor liquidity. You already own enough. Holding more can hurt flexibility in retired life.

» Planning for Medical Costs
Medical costs rise faster than inflation. You and your wife need strong health coverage. You should maintain a reliable health insurance. You should also keep a medical fund from your bank deposits. You may keep around 3 to 4 lakh per year as a buffer for medical needs. Your bank savings support this.

Health coverage reduces stress on your long-term wealth. It also avoids large withdrawals from your growth assets.

» Travel Planning
Travel is your main dream now. You can plan your travel using your short-term and medium-term buckets. You can take funds annually from your liquidity bucket. You can avoid touching long-term equity assets for travel. This approach keeps your wealth stable.

You should plan travel for the next five years with a budget. You should adjust your travel based on markets and health. Do not use entire gains of equity for travel. Keep travel budget fixed. Add small adjustments only when needed.

» Inflation and Lifestyle Stability
Inflation will impact lifestyle. At Rs 24 lakh per year today, the cost may double in 12 to 14 years. Your equity exposure helps you beat this. But you need careful rebalancing. You also need disciplined review with a CFP-led MFD. This will help you manage inflation and maintain comfort.

Your lifestyle is stable because your children live independently. So your cash flow demand stays predictable. This makes your plan sustainable.

» Longevity Risk
Retirement at 56 means you may live till 85 or 90. Your plan should cover long years. Your total net worth of around Rs 5.5 Cr to Rs 6 Cr can support this. But you need a proper drawdown strategy. Avoid high withdrawals in early years. Keep your travel budget steady.

Do not depend on one asset class. A mix of debt and equity gives comfort. Keep your bank deposits as cushion.

» Succession and Estate Planning
Since you have two sons who are settled, you can plan a clear will. Clear distribution avoids conflict. You can also assign nominees across accounts. You can also review your legal papers. This gives peace to you and your family.

» Summary of Your Retirement Readiness
Based on your assets and cash flow, you are ready to retire. You have enough wealth. You have enough liquidity. You have enough income support from rent. You also have good asset mix. With proper planning, your lifestyle is comfortable.

You can retire now. But maintain a disciplined withdrawal strategy. Shift more reliance from direct equity into professionally managed mutual funds under regular plans. Keep your liquidity strong. Review once every year with a CFP.

Your wealth can support your travel dreams for many years. You can enjoy retired life with confidence.

» Finally
Your preparation is strong. Your intentions are clear. Your lifestyle needs are reasonable. Your assets support your dreams. With a balanced plan, steady review, and mindful spending, you can enjoy a comfortable retired life with your wife. You can travel the world without fear of running out of money. You deserve this peace and joy.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |2577 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Dec 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 10, 2025Hindi
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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