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Need a Break from Relationship - Distancing Boyfriend, Should I Initiate?

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |138 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I realised that my boyfriend needs a break from the relationship to fix his life. He never said it himself, but slowly distancing himself. This is disturbing me. Should I initiate the break? How should I prevent myself from contacting him during this break period? I am worried that what if the break turns into a breakup.

Ans: What is disturbing you - (1) the break (2) or he wanting to fix his life. You need to know you cannot fix him, you can stand by him and he needs to work on himself. If he has asked for a break or distancing himself give him the space. Let him know nicely without emotions that you know he is distancing himself and that you are around. Ask him if you can contact him during this time - if he says a no then respect it. And if this leads to a breakup then it is what is, its unfortunate though.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |423 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 16, 2023

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Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it easy for boys tot alk about breakup ..pls tell urgently
Ans: Dear Yashasvi

It's important to understand that everyone needs their space and time to themselves at times, and it seems like your boyfriend has communicated to you that he needs some time alone. However, it's also important for him to communicate his needs clearly and respectfully to you.

It's understandable that you may be feeling hurt and confused by his behavior and lack of communication. It's important for you to take care of your own emotions and needs as well.

If you feel like you're not getting the communication and support you need from your boyfriend, it may be helpful to have an honest conversation with him about your concerns and feelings. However, it's important to approach the conversation in a calm and respectful manner, and to listen to his perspective as well.

It's also important to recognize that if your boyfriend is unwilling to communicate or work on the relationship, it may be a sign that he is not ready or willing to continue the relationship. In this case, it may be best to take some time to focus on yourself and your own needs.

In general, it's not easy for anyone, regardless of gender, to talk about a potential breakup. It's important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, while also being honest about your own feelings and needs.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2023

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Relationship
Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it so easy for boys to talk about breakup ..pls tell urgently. I don't feel valued and respected as If I was imp for him he would not talk abt breakup so easily.
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You are right in not feeling valued and respected because this so-called boyfriend isn not valuing or respecting you!
He wants a break? Give yourself a break from him as you focus on your studies and build a good social circle. He does not want a serious relationship right now and is moving on by going out with others...
So, why are you waiting for that commitment? What more do you want him to tell you over a call for you to know that he is not interested in a steady relationship that you might be looking for?
Maintain your value and respect; and if you still in doubt, let me tell you; YES, people need space and time to re-think things but surely a call or a text does not require a huge investment of time.
To look at it form his side, maybe he is confused about this whole thing and does not want to hurt you and that is hurting you.
So, give yourself time so, you can feel better emotionally. Spend time with your friends and family:) Laugh a lot; these are phases of life and not a permanent state.

All the best!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2023

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Hello sir. I am a 27 year old in a 4 year old long distance relationship. I need your help today. I will get straight to the point.I want to break up with my boyfriend. I am no more happy in this relationship. We have only met once just before the pandemic started. Since then,audio,video calls,text messages have been our solace. Despite our own shares of fights and arguements we always came back together and loved each other like never before. Earlier ,we used to be in touch constantly no matter how busy we are in our own lives.I know, change is constant. Nobody and nothing remains the same. I feel alone in this relationship. I have also shared my feelings regarding the lack of communication between us.I have always shared my annoyance with him and next day he will be in touch again. Now we are back to square one.I miss him but I don't feel like talking to him. I respect his schedule and efforts towards self improvement. But i no more feel the same way. I am not even attracted to anyone else let me clarify.But I don't feel happy anymore and feel any love for him. I don't know why I am feeling this way and how will I get over this ? What is the most effective way out? Please help me! Ayu
Ans: Hi Ayu,

I understand that you're going through a difficult time in your long-distance relationship, and you're considering ending things with your boyfriend. It's not an easy decision to make, but sometimes it's necessary for our own well-being.

It sounds like you've tried to communicate your feelings to your boyfriend, but the lack of communication between you two has persisted. It's important to have open and honest communication in any relationship, and if that's not happening, it can be challenging to maintain a healthy connection.

It's also important to remember that relationships go through ups and downs, and it's normal to experience periods of disconnection. However, if you've reached a point where you no longer feel happy or fulfilled in the relationship, it may be time to consider moving on.

Here are some steps you can take to help you navigate this situation:

Take time to reflect: It's important to take some time to reflect on your feelings and why you're feeling this way. Think about what you want and need in a relationship, and whether your current relationship is meeting those needs.

Communicate your decision: Once you've made the decision to end things, it's important to communicate that to your boyfriend in a clear and respectful way. Be honest about your feelings and why you've made this decision.

Take care of yourself: Ending a relationship can be emotionally challenging, so it's important to take care of yourself during this time. Lean on friends and family for support, engage in self-care activities, and seek professional help if needed.

Create a plan for moving forward: It's important to have a plan for moving forward after the breakup. This might include cutting off communication with your ex for a period of time, focusing on your own personal growth and goals, and exploring new hobbies or interests.

Remember, it's normal to feel sad or uncertain after a breakup, but it's important to prioritize your own well-being and make choices that align with your values and goals. I hope this advice helps, and I wish you all the best as you navigate this difficult time.

..Read more

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |741 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

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What happens when a Mutual Fund company shuts down / gets sold off?
Ans: Hello;

If a mutual fund company gets sold or fails, the process is prescribed by SEBI:

In case MF company is Sold,
The new fund house may:
1. Continue the scheme with a new name and management.

2. Merge the scheme with similar funds and offer investors the option to exit without any exit load.

In case MF company shuts down,
The fund house will:
1. Pay out investors based on the fund's last recorded Net Asset Value (NAV) and the number of units the investor holds, after deducting expenses.

2. If the company is not in a position to do so then SEBI may liquidate the funds assets and distribute the proceeds to unit holders.

It is also pertinent to note that mutual fund regulation in India is one of the most stringent and hence best, from investor's point of view, globally.

This is not just in theory. We have seen how the Franklin Templeton abrupt closure of debt funds was handled with surgical precision, by SEBI, with no loss to unitholders.


Skin in the game regulation mandates that 20% salary of key mutual fund personnel and fund managers is paid in terms of units of their funds with a 3 year lock-in.

The stocks and bonds purchased by the AMC for the fund are held by a custodian, appointed by the trust that administers the fund.

The trust engages into a investment management agreement with the AMC for managing the fund as per their mandate and within regulatory guidelines.

Registrar and Transfer Agents handle the investor registration,kyc, maintaining records, providing account and tax statements etc.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |450 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Hello, my wife is Ugandan and I’m of English national, 30 years old and she’s 26, we met nearly a year ago and got married in uk with some of her friends and small family. We haven’t done kuchala (not sure if that’s correct spelling) yet and I’m feeling anxious for when the time comes. She said her family will kneel when they greet me and being white this is already stinging my moral (due to history). I also talked about moving in together before the meet the parents happen however she says she’s rather move in after? Currently this could take two years before going to Uganda, how should I proceed without overstepping her cultural beliefs as after all we are married and by my culture we should already be living together
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is very nice of you to be so considerate and sensitive while handling these cultural nuances. Let's discuss the kneeling tradition. It's a sign of respect and it's deeply rooted in Ugandan culture. While I understand your point of view, you also have to remember that it can have significant meaning to her and her family. I suggest you politely express your feelings and let her know why it is uncomfortable for you to see her family kneel. When you explain, mention how much her culture means to you as well. I am sure both of you can communicate and come to a compromise that makes you both happy. Just in case, they persist in following the ritual, just look at it as a gesture of love and respect and not submission.

About the moving in together part, in certain parts of the world, couples living together before the traditional wedding is not considered respectful. But since you are already married, you can try explaining to your wife how the living situation does not go against her cultural expectations. But if it is a really big deal for her and her family, consider seeing it from her perspective.

Communication is everything here. Look at every problem as a team; it's not your problem vs her problem. It's both of you vs the problems.

I hope this helps

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1088 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

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I have received a job offer from Siecorp ,a Singapore based company though my posting would be at my hometown . They have asked me to submit all credentials related to education & job experiences which is quite normal but they have asked the following documents also which they said would help me to arrange through some agent by payment & the same would be reimbursed during first month of employment . Earlier also another overseas company asked for the same & I denied to make payment before having the job in hand . 1. Construction Health and Safety Technician (CHST) – Compulsory 2. OSHA Safety Certificate – Compulsory 3. Safety Trained Supervisor (STS) – Non-Compulsory Kindly advise whether these certificates are really required to be submitted to join any foreign company or any sort of cheating business regards,
Ans: Hello Bipradas.
From your query, it is clear that you have offered by job by a Singapore-based company and they are giving you a posting in your home town. You did not mention anything about the work culture of the company. It simply indicates that you are supposed to work from home which is always related to computers. I think there is no harm in producing the required documents through an agent if they are offering you a handsome salary. The requirement for documents differs from company to company. There is no harm in submitting the mentioned documents. If have fear in your mind, then please go through the profile of the company in detail before submitting the documents. There are many ways to check the authenticity of the company. There are some chances of cheating, but everybody is not indulged in the same category. But take the steps with utmost precaution.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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