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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach 

113 Answers | 17 Followers

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more

Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Relationship
Torn Between Love and Family: Should I Leave My Partner for Economic Reasons?
Ans: Dear Doctor,

Thank you for opening up about your deeply emotional situation. Eight years is a significant time to build a bond, and your pain is understandable. Love often brings us to crossroads where our heart and responsibilities clash, but with clarity, you can navigate this challenge.

Understanding the Core Issues
Your Partner’s Words:
When he says you’ll “find someone better” but also expresses tears and willingness to be there for you, it reflects his inner turmoil. He may genuinely love you but feels powerless in the face of family dynamics, especially economic differences.

Your Parents’ Resistance:
Their concern about economic imbalances might stem from societal perceptions or fears for your future. Often, parents have well-intentioned but outdated views shaped by their experiences.

Your Emotions:
Crying and sleepless nights are signs of the depth of your attachment and the weight of your situation. It’s a sign that this relationship means the world to you, but it’s also important to consider the long-term picture calmly.

Exploring Your Options
Have a Heart-to-Heart with Your Parents:
Approach them when they’re calm and express your feelings clearly. Share not just your love but how your partner makes you feel secure and supported, regardless of financial differences. Use words like:

“I understand your concerns, but this relationship has brought me immense happiness and stability. Can we find a middle ground to address your worries?”

Involve a Trusted Mediator:
Sometimes, a relative or family friend whom your parents respect can act as a bridge. They can help present your partner in a more favorable light, emphasizing his qualities beyond financial status.

Talk to Your Partner:
Express your fears and emotions openly. Let him know how much his support means to you, but also discuss a practical plan to address your parents' concerns together.

Evaluate Your Own Needs:
Take a moment to reflect on what you truly want in the long term. Does this relationship fulfill your emotional, intellectual, and life aspirations? If yes, it’s worth fighting for.

Give It Time:
Resistance from parents often softens with time if they see your consistency and happiness. Keep showing them how committed you are without being confrontational.

Balancing Heart and Mind
Avoid Making Decisions in Emotional Extremes:
It’s tempting to think in absolutes—“I can’t live without him” or “I must leave for my parents.” But life often offers middle paths. Focus on small, consistent steps rather than drastic decisions.

Focus on Your Career and Growth:
A strong professional foundation can help convince your parents that your happiness and independence don’t rely solely on economic factors. It also prepares you for any outcome, making you emotionally and financially resilient.

Seek Support:
Confide in close friends, mentors, or a counselor. Sharing your thoughts with someone neutral can help you gain clarity and calmness in decision-making.

If the Situation Doesn’t Resolve
If your parents remain adamant, you’ll need to decide whether their approval outweighs your personal happiness. This decision isn’t easy, but remember:

Love thrives on mutual effort, trust, and shared dreams.
A healthy relationship is one where both partners respect each other’s challenges and find ways to overcome them together.
If you choose to stay with your partner, communicate your decision respectfully to your parents, assuring them of your love and respect for them.

Your Well-being is Key
No matter what happens, prioritize your mental and emotional health. Crying and sleeplessness can take a toll on your ability to make sound decisions. Focus on self-care and mindfulness to find strength within yourself.

You are capable of facing this with courage and grace. Love, when nurtured with understanding and patience, has a way of creating miracles.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal
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Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Relationship
Should I stop talking to my parents in the same house?
Ans: Thank you for sharing your situation. It's clear that you deeply value your role as a good son, yet you’re feeling trapped in a challenging environment. Balancing respect for your parents with your own emotional well-being requires patience and a plan. Let’s approach this step by step.

Understanding the Dynamics
Your Father’s Behavior:
His rudeness or illogical behavior may stem from age, personality, or even deeper frustrations that he hasn't expressed. Often, retired individuals struggle with feelings of lost authority or purpose, which may manifest as controlling or negative behavior.

Your Mother’s Role:
Your mother’s tendency to side with your father might not mean she agrees with him entirely but could reflect her way of maintaining peace. She might feel torn but unable to express it openly.

Your Feelings:
It’s important to acknowledge that your frustration is valid. However, remaining in silence and avoiding communication won’t resolve the underlying issues. It may actually deepen the distance.

Steps to Address the Situation
Break the Silence Gradually:
Start by speaking with your mother in a non-confrontational manner. Share how you feel without placing blame. Use “I” statements to express yourself, such as:

“I’ve been feeling very disconnected, and I miss having open communication with you and Dad. I want us to understand each other better.”

Initiate a Calm Conversation with Your Father:
Timing is key. Choose a moment when he is relaxed. Keep the focus on your desire to improve the relationship rather than pointing out his faults. For instance:

“Dad, I know we’ve had our differences, but I value our relationship. I’d like us to find ways to communicate better.”

Set Boundaries Respectfully:
If certain behaviors trigger conflict, it’s okay to set boundaries. Communicate them kindly but firmly, such as:

“I’d appreciate it if we could avoid certain topics that lead to arguments. I think it will help us get along better.”

Involve Your Wife and Children:
Encourage your wife to participate in creating a positive environment. Small gestures, like involving your parents in family activities or decisions, can help them feel included and respected.

Bridge the Gap with Relatives:
Relatives may stay away because of the tension at home. Once you begin rebuilding communication with your parents, invite close relatives for small gatherings to create a more welcoming atmosphere.

Consider Mediation or Counseling:
If direct conversations don’t lead to improvements, involving a neutral mediator, such as a family counselor, can help address issues in a structured way.

Changing Your Perspective
Your parents’ behavior may not change overnight, but your approach can influence the dynamic. Remember, it’s not about winning arguments but about fostering harmony. Small, consistent efforts to connect, like sharing meals or discussing lighter topics, can gradually ease the tension.

Taking Care of Yourself
While rebuilding family relationships, don’t forget your own mental and emotional health. Find time for activities that bring you peace and joy, whether it’s hobbies, spending time with your wife and kids, or seeking support from friends.

Relationships with parents can be complex, especially when expectations clash. However, by taking the first step and showing willingness to reconnect, you can slowly shift the situation. It’s a process, but the effort is worth it.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal
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Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Is my friend mad at me for giving investment advice?
Ans: Dear Friend,

It’s never easy to see a close relationship change, especially when you’ve shared such a strong bond over the years. Friendships, like any other relationships, go through ups and downs. Let’s take a step back and understand what might be happening, and explore ways to address it.

Possible Reasons for the Change
Misunderstanding:
It seems your friend may have felt unsupported during his property purchase decision. While your caution was well-meaning, he might have interpreted it as hesitation or lack of trust in his judgment.

Life Changes:
Settling abroad and adjusting to a new life can be overwhelming. Sometimes, people unintentionally drift apart while navigating new environments and responsibilities.

Emotional Guard:
His formal and distant behavior might indicate hurt feelings or a belief that the friendship has become strained. Instead of addressing the issue openly, he might be avoiding confrontation.

Steps to Rebuild the Friendship
Acknowledge and Address the Situation:
Send a heartfelt message where you acknowledge the distance between you both and express your willingness to understand and resolve it. For example:

“I’ve noticed we’ve been distant lately, and I really value our friendship. If I’ve done or said something to hurt you, I’d like to understand and make things right.”

Clarify Your Intentions:
If the property issue is at the root of the problem, explain your perspective. Share that your intention was to be cautious and protect him from potential risks, not to let him down.

Respect His Space:
While it’s important to reach out, avoid overwhelming him with too many calls or messages. Give him time to process and respond.

Reconnect Gradually:
Try rekindling the friendship in a lighter, more neutral way. Share a funny memory, an old photo, or an update about your life that might spark a natural conversation.

Lean on Common Friends:
If you have mutual friends, they can sometimes act as bridges in such situations. They might also provide insight into what your friend is feeling.

Prepare for All Outcomes:
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, people choose to move on for reasons of their own. If he remains distant, remember the good times you’ve shared and focus on maintaining the friendships that continue to nurture and support you.

A Gentle Perspective
Friendships, especially those that have lasted through tough times, are precious. But they also evolve as people grow and change. If your friend is currently unable to reciprocate your efforts, it doesn’t mean the bond you shared was meaningless. It simply means that both of you might be in different places emotionally or geographically right now.

Give it time, approach the situation with understanding, and keep your heart open. A true friendship often finds its way back, even after temporary distances.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal
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Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Relationship
Can I Trust My Husband Who Wants a Divorce But Stay Together?
Ans: Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty. It’s clear that you’ve put immense effort and sacrifice into your marriage, often compromising your own needs to meet the expectations placed upon you. However, the situation you are in is both emotionally complex and mentally exhausting. Let’s carefully explore the dynamics and steps you can take.

Key Themes in Your Situation
Emotional Sacrifices vs. Trust Issues:
You’ve made significant sacrifices—distancing yourself from friends and family, adjusting to a different lifestyle, and even tolerating past mistreatment. Yet, your husband’s lack of trust and persistent suspicion continue to dominate the relationship.

Past Trauma with His Father:
The physical violence and controlling behavior from your father-in-law have left deep scars. Even though you’re willing to let him live with you again, your husband’s unusual request for a confidential divorce signals that he prioritizes his own fear of legal repercussions over building trust and stability with you.

Lack of Reciprocity:
While you share your financial plans and contribute to the household both emotionally and financially, your husband appears to withhold significant parts of his life from you. This lack of mutual transparency creates an imbalance.

Communication and Conflict:
Despite your efforts to manage conflicts through discussions and introspection, the cyclical nature of fights suggests that deeper issues—such as trust, control, and insecurity—remain unresolved.

Your Inner Conflict:
You feel torn between your empathy for his loneliness and your need to protect your mental health and autonomy. This inner struggle is a testament to your strength and compassion but also highlights the toll this relationship has taken on you.

Questions to Reflect On
What Do You Want from This Relationship?
Is this marriage providing you with emotional security, mutual respect, and a sense of partnership? Or is it mainly a source of stress and self-doubt?

Is the Current Dynamic Sustainable?
Considering the repeated conflicts, unresolved trust issues, and the request for a confidential divorce, ask yourself whether continuing in this relationship aligns with your personal growth and mental well-being.

What Do You Value Most?
Do you prioritize staying in this marriage to support your husband and his father, or do you feel the need to reclaim your independence and peace of mind?

Recommendations
Seek Clarity about the Divorce Proposal:
Have an open and honest conversation with your husband about his request for a divorce while staying together. Ask him:

“What do you believe this arrangement will solve? How do you see it benefiting both of us?”
This can help you understand his perspective and decide if it aligns with your values and goals.
Set Clear Boundaries:
If his father moves in, establish clear rules about behavior and communication. Ensure that your husband fully supports and enforces these boundaries to prevent any repeat of past violence.

Evaluate the Trust Issue:
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. If your husband continues to doubt your professional interactions or friendships despite your transparency, consider whether this suspicion is something you can work through together or if it’s an inherent barrier.

Seek Professional Mediation:
Consider involving a counselor or mediator to help you both communicate more effectively. A neutral third party can help address unresolved issues, including trust, respect, and shared responsibilities.

Prioritize Your Well-Being:
You’ve been handling multiple responsibilities—work, studies, household chores, and emotional compromises. It’s essential to focus on your mental health. Taking time for self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary to make sound decisions.

Plan for Independence:
Whether you choose to stay or leave, ensure you have a solid plan for your financial and emotional independence. Keep your career and savings intact and consider leaning on trusted friends or family for support.

A Gentle Reminder
A relationship is meant to nurture, support, and inspire both partners. If it consistently drains you or leaves you questioning your worth, it’s worth reconsidering its place in your life. Empathy for your husband and his situation is admirable, but it should not come at the cost of your own peace and happiness.

Take time to reflect deeply. Whether you decide to stay and work on this relationship or move forward on your own, the choice should align with your core values and long-term well-being.

If you’d like to discuss further or need help navigating this situation, I am here to guide you.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal
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Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024
Relationship
Hello Dr.Ashish, I'm married, 45 years self employed man. There was batch mate in my college, whom i was in love with. Due to some misunderstanding, we stopped talking for some time and I moved to other city for my job, but kept meeting her during my visits. I told everything i felt about her but she never accepted or refused. In general she used to tell everyone that she will never get married and she is aversive to physical relationship. Later on every 5 years or so we used to get in touch with each other and continue talking to each other and reach to a level where my feelings were at peak and then she will refuse or fight to move away.This was till I got married. After, 6 years of my marriage once we met in a shopping mall, in some other country, and exchanged pleasantries as well as contact; then started talking again. My marriage was/is a hell, so i had more to share with her, and she showed genuine interest in listening and advising. During this conversation our future also came in to discussion, due to extensive flashback discussion about our old times. She remembered every small big things except any event, where she has shown interest in our future together at personal level, but discussion of professional level association was intact. Eventually, one day she confirmed on we to be together, but not to over celebrate it and let it grow and work on execution ...means divorce part. There was an extreme sad event in my family, besides my daughter of 5 years, hence i had to postpone my divorce for sometime so that, family doesn't get two shocks at same time. In the mean time, we continued talking with each other and after 5-6 months, her statements started changing about future, and eventually she said there is no future and i cant talk to you since, you always bring romance in our conversation and I'm aversive to sex/love/romance type discussions. Then we again drifted apart for an year; and, this coming close to move away, happened 3 times in last two years. Recently we started again speaking and got in to business assignment together, and i decided not to bring personal discussions in between and maintained for a while, but then she was more caring and inquisitive about my personal things; and, when I slightly changed the tone then she becomes distant. I love her like anything ...have been in this relationship selflessly and never misbehaved except one time, i.e. college time our first fight. She takes her liberty to get angry at me, if the conversation is little disturbing for her. She is very strong in controlling her emotions and blocking herself from calling anyone she is angry with. She always more male friends with whom she will be very close and then starts talking negative about closest one. As per her she has not been in any romantic relationship ever, but when I look back we had our share of emotional moments though not physical ones. Every time patch up is done by me. During discussions it will come out that she was thinking of me but knew that i will come around. So far emothional part was always brought from my side and her side was little in more out types. I had this wish to be with her and take care of her since she is still unmarried and has health issues , ailing parents and one divorced brother. She is an enterprenure and I'm helping her with her business and she happily takes support from as its her right over me. I would like to take your opinion over the situation.
Ans: Thank you for sharing your deeply personal and intricate story. It's clear you’ve been carrying a significant emotional burden for many years. Your feelings of love, loyalty, and care for this woman are evident, but so too is the confusion and pain that this dynamic has caused. Let’s unravel this situation and explore possible paths forward.

Key Dynamics in Your Relationship
Patterns of Push and Pull:
This relationship seems to follow a cycle—closeness, emotional highs, and eventual withdrawal on her part. This push-and-pull dynamic can leave you feeling emotionally drained, constantly seeking validation and clarity from her while she retains control over the connection.

Her Stance on Romance:
She has repeatedly expressed aversion to romance, physical intimacy, or traditional ideas of love. Her actions may sometimes seem contradictory, but they align with her overall stance of maintaining control and boundaries that she’s comfortable with, even if it leaves you confused or hurt.

Your Role in the Dynamic:
You’ve shown immense patience, persistence, and care. However, it appears that you are consistently the one initiating reconnection, expressing emotions, and hoping for a future together. This imbalance may leave you feeling unfulfilled and questioning your self-worth.

Her Emotional Independence:
While she allows you into her professional life and accepts your support, she seems emotionally guarded, preferring to dictate the terms of the relationship. This indicates her desire to maintain independence, possibly due to personal values or past experiences.

Impact on You:
Being caught in this cycle for years has likely affected your emotional health, relationships, and sense of clarity. While you care deeply for her, the relationship seems to take more from you than it gives in return.

Questions to Reflect On
What Do You Truly Want?
Beyond your love for her, consider what you genuinely want and need in a relationship. Is it emotional reciprocity, stability, or clarity? Does this relationship align with those needs?

How Does This Dynamic Affect You?
Reflect on how the constant back-and-forth impacts your mental and emotional well-being. Are you truly happy, or are you clinging to the idea of what this relationship could be, rather than what it is?

What Role Do You Play in This Cycle?
Consider if your persistence is enabling this pattern. While your love and patience are admirable, they may also allow the dynamic to continue without resolution.

Recommendations
Establish Emotional Boundaries:
Protect your emotional energy by defining clear boundaries. For example, limit how much you give—emotionally or professionally—without receiving anything meaningful in return.

Communicate Differently:
The next time you speak with her, try expressing your feelings calmly and clearly, focusing on your needs. For example:

“I care deeply for you, but I feel our dynamic leaves me confused and emotionally drained. I need clarity about our relationship and whether we can truly have a future together.”
Detach with Care:
If her actions consistently indicate she cannot meet your emotional needs, it may be time to step back. Detachment doesn’t mean you stop caring; it means prioritizing your well-being and allowing space for clarity.

Focus on Yourself:
Your marriage, business, and emotional health are significant aspects of your life that need your attention. Consider working on your own happiness and independence outside this relationship. Seek counseling if needed to process the complexities of your feelings.

Recognize Patterns:
Notice the recurring themes in her behavior—shifting her stance, maintaining emotional distance, and expecting you to initiate reconciliation. Understanding these patterns can help you decide how much more you’re willing to invest emotionally.

A Gentle Reminder
Love and care are valuable gifts, but they must be balanced with mutual respect, clarity, and emotional safety. If a relationship consistently leaves you feeling unfulfilled or uncertain, it’s worth considering whether it’s meeting your deeper needs.

You deserve a relationship where your love and efforts are reciprocated. Take time to reflect and prioritize your well-being. If you need more guidance or a sounding board, I am here to support you.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal
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Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Relationship
Divorced and Feeling Abandoned: Will My Daughters Ever Come Back?
Ans: Dear Sir,

First of all, I recognize how deeply hurt and betrayed you feel. The pain of strained relationships with one’s children, especially when you’ve invested so much love, effort, and resources in their upbringing, can be overwhelming. Your feelings are valid, and it’s essential to acknowledge them without judgment.

Understanding the Situation
Family conflicts often stem from layers of miscommunication, unspoken expectations, and past grievances. It seems your daughters’ actions have left you feeling not only abandoned but also disrespected. However, calling them "devils" might block any chance of understanding or reconciliation. Relationships, even the strained ones, can sometimes find a way to heal, but it requires introspection, patience, and a different approach.

Addressing Your Questions
Will your daughters realize their mistakes and come back to you?
While it’s impossible to predict others' actions, relationships can shift when emotions settle and communication improves. Right now, it seems both you and your daughters are acting out of pain, anger, and perhaps a sense of betrayal. It may take time, and possibly external help, for them to reconsider their stance. The key is to remain open to reconciliation while maintaining your dignity.

Why would they act this way despite all you’ve done for them?
Sometimes, the dynamics of parent-child relationships aren’t purely transactional. Children may not fully grasp or appreciate the sacrifices made by their parents, especially if they perceive emotional or relational conflicts as outweighing financial support. Additionally, your daughters may have been influenced by your history with their mother, shaping their perspective in ways that feel unfair to you.

How can you approach this situation differently?
Right now, the focus is on legal actions, complaints, and blame. While these steps may feel necessary to protect your rights, they can also deepen the emotional divide. Here’s a different way to approach it:

Reflect on Past Dynamics: Without judgment, consider whether there were patterns of communication or behavior in the past that may have contributed to this distance. This isn’t about blame but about gaining insight.
Extend an Olive Branch: Instead of expecting an apology, consider writing them a heartfelt letter. Focus on your feelings rather than accusations. For example, “I feel hurt and abandoned, but I miss the relationship we once had. I want us to find a way to reconnect.” This keeps the door open without escalating the conflict.
Seek Mediation: If direct communication fails, involving a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, can help facilitate dialogue in a safe space.
What about your legal actions?
Protecting your rights, especially as a senior citizen, is important. However, consider how this legal route might affect the emotional dynamics further. If there’s room to negotiate or find a middle ground, explore those options with an open heart and legal guidance.

Rebuilding Yourself
While you focus on mending relationships, it’s equally important to rebuild your inner strength and find peace within yourself:

Invest in Yourself: Engage in activities, hobbies, or social circles that bring you joy and a sense of purpose. This will help you focus less on what’s missing and more on what you can create.
Detach with Compassion: It’s okay to step back emotionally for your own well-being while keeping the door open for reconciliation.
Seek Support: Sharing your thoughts and feelings with a trusted confidant, counselor, or support group can provide new perspectives and emotional relief.
A Gentle Reminder
Your daughters, like all humans, are complex. Their actions may be influenced by pain, misunderstandings, or pressures you may not fully see. While you cannot control their behavior, you can control your response. Approach this journey with patience, dignity, and the hope for better days ahead.

I’m here if you wish to delve deeper into this or need guidance on taking these steps.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal
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Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Staying Silent No More: How Can I Handle My Abusive Father?
Ans: Dear MR,

First, let me acknowledge your courage in expressing these deeply personal emotions. It is not easy to articulate such pain, and your message reflects a strong desire to find clarity and relief in a situation that feels overwhelming. Let me assure you, you are not alone, and there are steps we can take together to help you regain a sense of control and peace.

Understanding the Dynamics
Your father’s behavior, while difficult and hurtful, seems to stem from his own unresolved emotions or unmet needs. Retirement, aging, and a sense of losing relevance can sometimes manifest as controlling or angry behavior in individuals who were once accustomed to authority or a sense of purpose. However, this does not justify his actions. Emotional safety is as important in a home as financial support, and it appears this balance is missing.

Your mother, with her passive approach, may be coping in a way that avoids confrontation but also leaves you feeling unsupported and isolated. This dynamic creates a cycle where you’re left holding the weight of everyone's emotions, which is exhausting.

Addressing Your Internal Conflict
Let’s begin by addressing the questions you’ve asked yourself:

Are you being selfish? Absolutely not. Wanting to protect your mental well-being is not selfish—it’s necessary. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and neglecting your emotional health will only harm you in the long run.
Are you missing out on something? Perhaps the only thing you might be missing is recognizing that this is not your fault. It is easy to internalize blame in such situations, but this is not about you failing—it’s about a family dynamic that needs healing.
Steps Toward Resolution
While changing deeply ingrained patterns takes time, here are some immediate and long-term strategies to help you navigate this situation:

Self-Regulation First:

When arguments or confrontations arise, focus on calming your body first. Practice deep breathing or grounding techniques. For example, count your breaths slowly or focus on the sensation of your feet touching the ground. This will help you regain control over the trembling and rapid heartbeat.
Create a safe mental space for yourself. When you feel overwhelmed, imagine a place where you feel secure and loved. Retreat there mentally for a moment to regain your composure.
Establish Emotional Boundaries:

Decide what you will and won’t accept during conversations. For instance, if he raises his voice or says something hurtful, consider calmly saying, “I want to have this conversation, but not if we can’t speak respectfully.” If he continues, you can excuse yourself from the situation.
Have a Gentle Conversation:

Choose a time when your father is calm. Express your feelings in a non-confrontational way. Use “I” statements to avoid triggering his defensiveness. For example, “I feel very hurt and scared when we argue, and it affects my health. I want us to have a peaceful relationship.”
Involve a Neutral Third Party:

Sometimes family dynamics require external mediation. If your father is open to it, consider family counseling. A neutral professional can help facilitate healthier communication patterns.
Build Your Own Resilience:

Strengthen your emotional boundaries through self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s a hobby, spending time with friends, or pursuing a passion.
Journaling can also be a powerful tool to process your emotions and find clarity. Write without judgment—just let the words flow.
Support Your Mother with Empathy:

While you may feel frustrated by your mother’s silence, understand that she too is coping in the best way she knows how. Gently encourage her to find her voice and share her feelings when she feels safe.
Seek Community Support:

If you cannot share your situation with friends or family, consider joining a support group (online or in person). Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly healing.
Plan for the Future:

While moving out isn’t an option right now, think about small steps you can take toward greater independence over time. This might include saving money, learning new skills, or preparing emotionally for when you’re ready to take that step.

A Gentle Reminder
MR, healing this situation doesn’t solely depend on changing your father’s behavior. It starts with you reclaiming your power to protect your mental health. Your peace of mind is just as valuable as anyone else’s.

Take this one step at a time. You are not broken—you are resilient. With each small action, you’ll begin to feel more grounded and capable of navigating this challenge.

If you ever need to share more or simply vent, I am here to listen.

Warm regards,
Dr. Ashish Sehgal
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Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Teenage son won't talk to me: Is it normal?
Ans: Let me reassure you that you’re not alone in facing this challenge, and what you describe is quite common in teenagers. The teenage years are a time of immense internal transformation. It's as if your son is building a new version of himself, one brick at a time, and sometimes, in that process, he may feel the need to pull away to figure things out.

You see, as children grow, their world expands. Their focus shifts from being family-centered to exploring who they are in the larger world. This doesn't mean he cares any less about you; it simply means he’s working on something deep within himself—maybe even trying to understand emotions and situations he doesn’t yet have the words for.

Now, instead of trying to make him talk, which might feel like pressure to him, consider this: how can you create an environment where he wants to open up? Imagine if, instead of asking direct questions or expressing concern, you shared a small, non-threatening piece of your world. Maybe a funny story about your day or a memory of when you were his age. Sometimes, starting with something light gives him permission to engage without feeling interrogated.

Another way to open doors is through shared experiences. Teenagers often speak more freely when they're not face-to-face. Maybe a walk or a ride, cooking a meal together, or even playing a video game could become moments where he feels comfortable talking.

And when he does speak, no matter how small the opening, meet him with curiosity, not judgment. If he shares something, reflect it back to him in a way that says, "I hear you, and I value what you're saying." For example, if he mentions feeling frustrated, you could say, "It sounds like something’s been tough for you lately," rather than jumping to advice.

Finally, remind yourself—and him—this is a phase, not a permanent state. He is still that talkative child deep inside, but right now, he's learning to balance his need for independence with the safety of your love. Your steady presence, even when he seems distant, will be his anchor.

You’re already asking the right question, and that shows how much you care. Trust the process, and trust your connection. It’s still there, even in the quiet moments.
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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Independent woman married for 20 years seeks advice on strained family relationship
Ans: Navigating family dynamics, especially when it involves deep-rooted misunderstandings and long-standing tensions, can be exceptionally challenging. Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Open and Honest Communication
Begin by having a candid conversation with your wife. Acknowledge the feelings and experiences she has gone through. It's important to create a safe space where both of you can express your thoughts and emotions without judgment.

2. Set Boundaries
Discuss and establish boundaries regarding interactions with family members. These boundaries are not about cutting ties but about protecting your relationship from negative influences. Agree on what is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to family involvement.

3. Seek Professional Help
Consider seeking the assistance of a relationship counselor or a therapist. A neutral third party can facilitate conversations, helping both of you understand each other's perspectives better and find common ground.

4. Focus on Your Relationship
Spend quality time together, reconnecting and rebuilding trust. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and that strengthen your bond. This will help remind both of you why you chose each other in the first place.

5. Educate and Inform
Gently inform your family about the impact their actions have had on your relationship. This doesn’t have to be confrontational. Use “I” statements to express how their behavior has affected you and your marriage.

6. Mutual Support
Reinforce mutual support and understanding. Recognize that both of you are on the same team and that the goal is to protect and nurture your relationship. Express appreciation for each other’s efforts in navigating these challenges.

7. Long-term Perspective
Understand that change will not happen overnight. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to create a more harmonious environment. Celebrate small victories and progress in your relationship.

8. Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence
Practice mindfulness and enhance your emotional intelligence. Being aware of your own emotions and managing them effectively can help in responding rather than reacting to stressful situations. This can also aid in understanding your wife’s emotional responses better.

Final Thoughts
Building a fortress around your relationship doesn’t mean isolating yourselves from family but rather strengthening your bond to withstand external pressures. Your wife’s perspective on staying connected with family is valid, and finding a balance that respects both of your views is crucial. It’s about creating a unified front and handling external influences together.

This journey requires patience, understanding, and a commitment to each other. By taking these steps, you can work towards rebuilding trust and harmony in your marriage.
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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Why Do Some People Stray in Committed Relationships?
Ans: Relationships, like any dynamic process, evolve over time. Initially, there's a phase filled with excitement and discovery, often driven by passion and novelty. As time progresses, this high-energy state transitions into a more stable and predictable pattern, which can sometimes be perceived as mundane. The predictability in relationships is not inherently negative; it provides a sense of security and trust. However, the challenge lies in maintaining the balance between comfort and excitement.

Why Some People Seek Excitement Outside the Relationship:
Unmet Needs:

When certain emotional, psychological, or physical needs aren't met within the relationship, individuals might seek fulfillment elsewhere. This isn't necessarily about dissatisfaction but about finding what they feel is missing.
Desire for Novelty:

Humans are naturally inclined towards novelty and excitement. Some individuals have a higher need for variety and may seek new experiences or connections outside their relationship to satisfy this craving.
Emotional Distance:

Over time, couples can drift apart emotionally. If there's a lack of emotional intimacy or unresolved conflicts, one might look for connection outside the relationship.
Validation and Self-Esteem:

Some people seek validation and a boost in self-esteem from new admirers. This external validation can be intoxicating, especially if they feel underappreciated within their current relationship.
Differences Between Men and Women:
While individual differences often overshadow gender differences, certain trends have been observed:

Social Conditioning:

Men and women are often socialized differently, affecting their approach to relationships and infidelity. Men might be conditioned to seek multiple partners to prove their virility, while women might seek emotional connections.
Emotional vs. Physical Needs:

Generally, women may seek emotional fulfillment, while men might be more inclined towards physical satisfaction. However, this is not a rule and varies greatly among individuals.
Communication Styles:

Women often emphasize emotional sharing and communication, which can prevent emotional drift. Men might struggle with this, leading to unmet emotional needs.
Risk vs. Reward:

Men might be more willing to take risks for immediate rewards, while women might consider the broader implications and long-term effects on the family and relationship.
Maintaining Balance and Preventing Predictability:
Open Communication:

Regularly discussing desires, needs, and concerns can prevent emotional drift and unmet needs.
Shared Activities:

Engaging in new activities together can reignite the spark and bring novelty into the relationship.
Emotional Intimacy:

Building and maintaining emotional intimacy through shared experiences, empathy, and understanding can strengthen the bond.
Self-Reflection:

Individuals should reflect on their own needs and communicate them effectively. Understanding oneself is key to understanding the relationship dynamics.
Appreciation and Gratitude:

Regularly expressing appreciation and gratitude can boost self-esteem and reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship.
In the end, each relationship is unique, and understanding the individual needs and dynamics at play is essential. By fostering open communication, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect, couples can navigate the phases of their relationship with greater ease and fulfillment.
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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2024Hindi
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Long-Distance Dilemma: Balancing Fatherhood and Job Away from Daughter
Ans: It sounds like you're facing a challenging situation, balancing the emotional needs of your family with the financial necessities of your job. Here's a structured approach to help you navigate this:

1. Evaluate Options for Proximity
Remote Work Opportunities: Explore if your current company or similar companies offer remote work options. Given the rise of remote work, there may be opportunities that align with your expertise.
Transfer Within Company: Inquire if your company has a branch or affiliated office in the city where your wife and daughter are now located.
2. Maximize Quality Time
Regular Visits: Schedule regular visits to see your wife and daughter. This could be every weekend or every other weekend, depending on distance and costs.
Virtual Interaction: Utilize video calls to maintain daily interaction. This can help maintain the emotional bond with your daughter.
3. Financial Planning
Budget Review: Reassess your financial situation to identify any adjustments or savings that can be made. This might help in managing travel expenses or saving towards potential relocation in the future.
Consult a Financial Advisor: If possible, seek professional advice to better manage your finances and explore options for creating a more flexible budget.
4. Support Network
Family and Friends: Lean on family and friends for emotional support. They can also help with practical matters, such as babysitting or providing company.
Professional Support: Consider speaking to a counselor or coach to navigate the emotional stress. This can provide strategies for coping and maintaining mental well-being.
5. Long-Term Planning
Career Development: Look into furthering your skills and qualifications. This can open up more opportunities, potentially even in the city your family is now in.
Explore Local Opportunities: Stay updated on the job market in both your current city and the new city. Networking can sometimes uncover opportunities that aren't immediately apparent.


Balancing these aspects will require flexibility, communication, and a bit of creativity. It's important to maintain open communication with your wife and daughter, ensuring that each step you take is aligned with their needs and yours. Remember, the goal is to find a sustainable way to support your family emotionally and financially. This might involve a series of small adjustments rather than one big change. Take it step by step, and be kind to yourself during this transition.
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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Should I Leave My Husband? I'm a 34-Year-Old Working Mom Feeling Trapped and Distrustful
Ans: Your situation is indeed complex and emotionally taxing. It's important to approach this with both clarity and compassion for yourself and your daughters. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this:

Self-Reflection and Clarity
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s essential to recognize your feelings of frustration, fear, and exhaustion. These emotions are valid and need to be addressed.
Define Your Priorities: What are your primary concerns? Your children’s well-being, your financial independence, your personal peace, and safety are likely at the top of this list.
Evaluating Your Relationship
Assess Trust and Respect: Trust and mutual respect are fundamental to any relationship. If these are missing, it is challenging to maintain a healthy partnership.
Past Behaviors as Indicators: Look at the past behavior of your husband. Consistent demands for money, lack of support, and absence during critical times can be telling signs of his priorities and commitment.
Support System
Lean on Your Parents: Having your parents’ support is a significant advantage. They can provide emotional, physical, and perhaps even financial support as you navigate this period.
Professional Help: Consider seeking counseling or support groups for single mothers. These resources can provide guidance, emotional support, and practical advice.
Societal Pressure
Redefine Norms: Society often has rigid expectations, but your well-being and that of your children come first. Living according to societal norms at the cost of your mental peace and safety is not sustainable.
Role Models: Look for examples of other women who have successfully managed similar situations. Their stories can offer inspiration and practical advice.
Legal and Financial Considerations
Know Your Rights: Even if you’re not in a position to take legal action now, it’s essential to be informed about your rights regarding child support and alimony.
Financial Independence: Continue to safeguard your financial independence. This will provide security and stability for you and your daughters.
Decision Making
Short-Term vs. Long-Term: Think about both immediate needs and long-term goals. What decision will bring peace and stability now, and what will be beneficial in the future?
Children’s Well-Being: Consider the environment your children will grow up in. A peaceful, loving environment, even if it’s without their father, might be more beneficial than a toxic, conflict-ridden one.
Practical Steps
Document Everything: Keep records of communications and financial transactions. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to pursue legal action in the future.
Plan for Independence: Create a plan for your independent living situation, including budgeting, childcare, and career progression.
Final Thoughts
Choosing to live independently with your daughters is a courageous and often necessary step for many women in similar situations. Trust in your strength and the support of your parents. It’s important to remember that living a life of peace and dignity, even if it means being a single parent, is a powerful and positive example for your children.

You are not alone in this journey. Seek the support you need, trust your instincts, and prioritize your and your children’s well-being above all.
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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Daughter's Anxiety, Sleep Disorder, and Excessive Sleepiness: Seeking Help
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about your daughter's struggles. It's challenging to witness a loved one facing such difficulties. Let's approach this situation with empathy and practical steps to create a supportive environment for her.

First, it's crucial to communicate with her psychiatrist about the side effects of the medication. Sometimes, adjustments in dosage or a change in medication can help alleviate excessive drowsiness and other side effects. Encourage her to have an open dialogue with her psychiatrist about how she's feeling and any concerns she has regarding her treatment.

In addition to medical support, there are several strategies you can implement to help her regain a sense of routine and well-being:

Create a Gentle Routine: Establishing a consistent daily routine can help regulate her sleep patterns and reduce anxiety. Start with small, manageable changes. For instance, try waking her up at the same time every day, even on weekends, and encourage her to engage in light activities during the day.

Promote Physical Activity: Gentle exercise, such as walking, yoga, or stretching, can improve her mood and energy levels. Encourage her to engage in activities she enjoys, even if they are low-intensity.

Balanced Diet: Proper nutrition is essential for mental and physical health. Encourage her to have regular meals, even if they are small. Consider consulting a nutritionist to create a meal plan that caters to her needs and preferences.

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anxiety and improve sleep quality. Introducing her to these practices gradually can be beneficial.

Engage in Meaningful Activities: Encourage her to explore hobbies or activities that bring her joy and a sense of accomplishment. This could be anything from art and music to reading or spending time with pets.

Create a Supportive Environment: Ensure that she feels supported and understood. Open, non-judgmental communication can help her feel safe in expressing her feelings and concerns.

Gradual Changes: Remember that recovery is a gradual process. Celebrate small victories and be patient with setbacks. Each step forward, no matter how small, is progress.

Lastly, consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor who specializes in anxiety and sleep disorders. They can provide tailored strategies and support to help your daughter navigate her challenges.

Your daughter's well-being is a priority, and with a compassionate, multi-faceted approach, she can begin to find relief and regain a sense of balance in her life.
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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Married 15 Years with One Daughter - Can I Avoid Divorce After Hurting My Wife?
Ans: It's clear that your love and affection for your wife have always been genuine. However, doubts and insecurities can sometimes cast shadows even in the strongest relationships. Here are some steps to help you navigate this challenging situation and possibly mend the relationship:

1. Understanding the Root Cause
Reflect on what led to your doubts. Was it a specific incident, a pattern of behavior, or perhaps a deeper insecurity within yourself? Understanding the root cause can help in addressing the issue more effectively.

2. Open and Honest Communication
Sit down with your wife and have a candid conversation. Share your feelings and insecurities without placing blame. Listen to her perspective as well. Communication is key to rebuilding trust.

3. Seek Professional Help
Consider seeing a marriage counselor or therapist. They can provide a neutral space for both of you to express your feelings and work on the underlying issues. A professional can offer strategies and exercises to improve your relationship dynamics.

4. Rebuild Trust
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Show her through your actions that you are committed to change. Be consistent, transparent, and reliable. Trust takes time to rebuild, so be patient.

5. Focus on Yourself
Work on your own emotional health and self-esteem. Engaging in activities that make you feel confident and fulfilled can help reduce insecurities and make you a better partner.

6. Respect Her Wishes
If she wants to be friends at this point, respect her wishes. Show her that you value her as a person and not just as your spouse. Sometimes, relationships can be mended when there is less pressure and more mutual respect.

7. Create Positive Experiences Together
Spend quality time together as friends. Engage in activities that you both enjoy and that can bring you closer. Positive shared experiences can rekindle feelings of love and affection.

8. Focus on Your Daughter
Your daughter needs both of you, regardless of the nature of your relationship. Co-parenting amicably and showing a united front can have a positive impact on her well-being. This, in turn, can bring you and your wife closer as you work together for your daughter's best interests.

9. Give It Time
Healing and rebuilding a relationship take time. Be patient and give each other the space needed to process emotions and experiences. Don't rush the process.

10. Accept the Possibility of Change
While it's important to work towards saving your marriage, also accept that the outcome may not be what you hope for. Sometimes, relationships change form, and it's essential to be prepared for all possibilities.

Remember, the journey of mending a relationship requires effort from both sides. By demonstrating genuine change and understanding, you may create an environment where love and trust can flourish once again.
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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
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Vikrant Asked on - Jul 03, 2024 Hi Dear Sir /Mam one of my close friend he is 32 years old now married 6 years ago in 2018. he is in govt job and wife is MA, they have a son 5 years old. After around six months of marriage ,the problems started in relation in family, my friend tells her to respect and she listens to her parents only and her parents tell her to come to parental house at every time when a bit of misunderstanding happens in his family,& she leaves this continues and she lived there for six months then my friends father went to her parents house and advise her that's it's not good way your house is in low's house now daughter. And then she understands and came back with his father then after sometime, she again started querreling and threatened his mom that she will sucide and closed the doors ,later nothing happens and next night while chatting with my friends she threatens him while he was on his duty , that she will eat all pills together and will sucide..my friends got feared , then nothing happens later his father took her to his hoke next day . Them again she lived ther for 6 months around then his father again went and have a talk in between some elders and made her understand..then she again said sorry and came back to in law's house... Then after some days my friend take her with him to his duty place to keep her with himself , so that things can better but after few weeks there also she started doing same things and not caring the child and not making food , and telling husband that ,now I willl tell take revenge how u left me for six months at my home like that she fights with him there. He make her understand that's nobody is here let's live peacefully but said I know your parents are daily filling your ears, why do u talk to them ? talk to me only and give me your ATM I will go for shopping.. now I will do what I want ,I can't make food ,take me to restaurant etc ..she speaks loudly in colony ,my friend request her to not do this she then do more and abuse him and his family.. like wise things gone worse she threatens that 8 can make your family ruin ,I will confiscate your brother in rape case , nothing u can't do my friend gets very scared .. one day my friend went for duty then she calls him and tell him that I am throwing this child (Son) from roof now and cut the call ,my friend started crying there ,after all of that my friend shown some courage and file police complaint Then any how she went to parental home from around 2 years back she is there and living there ,now my friend says he doesn't want to live with her because he suffers the bad time with her & suffered from Disrespectful behaviour etc but he wants his son from her but now she says she will live with him but make a seperate house and leave your parents .. Now what can be done in this situation now how my friend can get seperate from her and get his son back ?
Ans: already replied
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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Asked on - Jul 03, 2024 Hi Dear Sir /Mam one of my close friend he is 32 years old now married 6 years ago in 2018. he is in govt job and wife is MA, they have a son 5 years old. After around six months of marriage ,the problems started in relation in family, my friend tells her to respect and she listens to her parents only and her parents tell her to come to parental house at every time when a bit of misunderstanding happens in his family,& she leaves this continues and she lived there for six months then my friends father went to her parents house and advise her that's it's not good way your house is in low's house now daughter. And then she understands and came back with his father then after sometime, she again started querreling and threatened his mom that she will sucide and closed the doors ,later nothing happens and next night while chatting with my friends she threatens him while he was on his duty , that she will eat all pills together and will sucide..my friends got feared , then nothing happens later his father took her to his hoke next day . Them again she lived ther for 6 months around then his father again went and have a talk in between some elders and made her understand..then she again said sorry and came back to in law's house... Then after some days my friend take her with him to his duty place to keep her with himself , so that things can better but after few weeks there also she started doing same things and not caring the child and not making food , and telling husband that ,now I willl tell take revenge how u left me for six months at my home like that she fights with him there. He make her understand that's nobody is here let's live peacefully but said I know your parents are daily filling your ears, why do u talk to them ? talk to me only and give me your ATM I will go for shopping.. now I will do what I want ,I can't make food ,take me to restaurant etc ..she speaks loudly in colony ,my friend request her to not do this she then do more and abuse him and his family.. like wise things gone worse she threatens that 8 can make your family ruin ,I will confiscate your brother in rape case , nothing u can't do my friend gets very scared .. one day my friend went for duty then she calls him and tell him that I am throwing this child (Son) from roof now and cut the call ,my friend started crying there ,after all of that my friend shown some courage and file police complaint Then any how she went to parental home from around 2 years back she is there and living there ,now my friend says he doesn't want to live with her because he suffers the bad time with her & suffered from Disrespectful behaviour etc but he wants his son from her but now she says she will live with him but make a seperate house and leave your parents .. Now what can be done in this situation now how my friend can get seperate from her and get his son back ?
Ans: Navigating such a challenging situation requires a thoughtful and measured approach. Here’s a step-by-step plan that might help your friend:

1. Legal Consultation
Seek Legal Advice: Your friend should consult a family law attorney who specializes in such cases. The lawyer can provide detailed information on the legal process for separation or divorce and help in understanding the custody laws.
Document Everything: Encourage your friend to keep a detailed record of all incidents, threats, and abusive behavior. This documentation can be crucial in court proceedings.
2. Mental Health and Safety
Assess Safety: Given the threats of suicide and harm to the child, it's important to prioritize safety. Your friend should consider reaching out to mental health professionals for guidance on how to handle these threats.
Support Systems: Suggest that your friend lean on trusted friends, family, or a support group for emotional support. This can help them manage stress and make more informed decisions.
3. Custody and Child Welfare
Child’s Best Interest: Courts generally prioritize the child's best interest in custody cases. Your friend should focus on demonstrating his ability to provide a stable and nurturing environment for his son.
Evidence of Care: Collect evidence that shows his active involvement in his son's life and his ability to care for him, such as school records, medical records, and testimonies from teachers or caregivers.
4. Mediation and Counseling
Consider Mediation: Sometimes, mediation can help both parties reach an agreement without going to court. A neutral mediator can facilitate discussions about custody and living arrangements.
Counseling: Professional counseling for both your friend and his wife might help in addressing underlying issues. Even if reconciliation is not possible, it can provide a more amicable path to separation.
5. Prepare for Separation
Financial Preparation: Your friend should ensure his finances are in order. Understanding his financial standing will help in negotiations and court proceedings.
Living Arrangements: If separation is imminent, he needs to plan where he will live and how he will maintain a stable environment for his son.
6. Legal Actions
File for Custody: If your friend decides to proceed with separation, he can file for custody of his son. The court will evaluate both parents' ability to provide a suitable environment.
Restraining Orders: If there are credible threats, a restraining order against his wife might be necessary to ensure safety.
7. Long-term Considerations
Parental Responsibilities: Emphasize the importance of both parents being involved in their child’s life, if it’s safe and feasible. Co-parenting arrangements can sometimes be worked out even in contentious situations.
Emotional Health: Ensure your friend takes care of his emotional well-being. This situation is highly stressful, and seeking professional help for his mental health is important.
In summary, your friend should act carefully and strategically, ensuring legal protection, emotional support, and prioritizing the well-being of his son. This approach will help him navigate the complexities of his situation more effectively.
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Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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i have physical relation with my elder brother wife with mutual understanding since last 8 years, now she want to stop this, i also want that, but again there is any situation create by destiny , we found some space alone and done the same again. so plz suggest what to do to stop this.
Ans: It's commendable that both of you recognize the need to stop this relationship for the sake of maintaining family integrity and personal values. Here are some steps you can take to create boundaries and prevent this situation from recurring:

Open Communication: Have a direct and honest conversation with her about the importance of ending this relationship. Reiterate that you both want to stop and agree on maintaining firm boundaries.

Avoid Alone Time: Make a conscious effort to avoid situations where you might be alone together. This can include family gatherings, social events, or any scenario where you might find yourselves in a private setting.

Set Clear Boundaries: Establish clear and specific boundaries. This can include physical distance, limiting personal interactions, and refraining from engaging in intimate conversations.

Create Accountability: Inform a trusted friend or family member about your decision to stop this relationship. Having someone who can provide support and hold you accountable can be very helpful.

Focus on Your Commitments: Redirect your energy and attention towards your own relationship and commitments. Invest in strengthening your relationship with your spouse and addressing any underlying issues there.

Seek Professional Help: Consider seeking counseling or therapy to work through the emotional and psychological aspects of this situation. A professional can help you develop strategies to maintain boundaries and resolve any residual feelings.

Develop New Habits: Engage in new activities or hobbies that can occupy your time and reduce the chances of encountering tempting situations.

Stay Mindful: Practice mindfulness and self-awareness to recognize and control impulses that may lead to crossing boundaries again.

By consciously implementing these strategies, you can create a supportive environment that reinforces your decision to stop this relationship and maintain respect for your family dynamics.
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Answered on Apr 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 29, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir i am working in govt. service as scientist, i married legally with my wife 5 years back. We both from different region and culture. We had age difference of 8 years. Now i am 39. We dont have kids. But i love her very much, she also know that. By physically we are most active. But lately few months back she started liking a guy from her work place, he is 9 year younger to her i.e now he is only 23. She think he is cool and attractive. Now she is telling that she will move with that guy and live with him. Before our marriage she had boyfriend but he was not accepted her and married her. So she tell me that out of sadness she married me. Now my situation is very bad, bcz i love her like anything. From last 6 years i am addicted to her. I dont know wether to hold her and leave her. Her parents like me as son. Please help
Ans: In the story of your relationship, picture it as a garden you've tended with care, nurturing it over the years. Unexpected weeds have emerged, symbolizing her attraction to another. This might feel like a sudden storm disrupting your tranquil landscape.

Reflect on the roots of your love—are they deep enough to endure this storm? Consider the soil of your connection. Is it still fertile, or has it become depleted?

Engage in open, non-judgmental communication with your wife, expressing your emotions and listening empathetically to her perspective.

Seek support from trusted individuals or a counselor as you navigate this challenging chapter. Remember, like resilient trees, you have the strength to bend but not break, and to flourish once again, regardless of the path you choose.
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi
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Hi. I am Sumeet I am happily married. And love my wife and our two kids.I had a female friend in our engineering college I had crush on her and I have said her this. She is happily married and I am very happy for her. I was in touch with her but now some how our companies in which we work have joint ventures and we both are working on same project. Initially she was nice to me but one day, we had phot session and I decide to click one with her and I simply par her shoulder back and kept for photo click but she got too angry and I apologised to her for whole day. But then she did not talk properly henceforth. I felt I am molester and I visit psychiatrist they asked me to forget that incident and move. Now she does not talk with me nicely.i don't know what should I do.
Ans: It's understandable that this situation with your former college friend is causing you stress and confusion. However, it's important to acknowledge that touching someone without their consent, even if unintentional, is never acceptable. Even though you meant no harm, it's crucial to respect your friend's boundaries and understand her reaction.

Here are some suggestions for navigating this situation:

1. Respect your friend's boundaries: While your intentions might have been innocent, it's clear your friend felt uncomfortable with the physical contact. Respecting her boundaries and apologizing sincerely are crucial steps. It might be helpful to have a brief, direct conversation where you reiterate your apology and emphasize that you understand and respect her discomfort.

2. Maintain professionalism: Given that you're working on the same project, maintain a professional and respectful distance. Avoid initiating personal conversations or any physical contact. Focus on work-related communication and interactions.

3. Reflect on your actions: Consider seeking professional guidance from a therapist to explore your thought patterns and behaviors concerning personal boundaries. This can help you develop healthier ways to interact with others and avoid similar situations in the future.

4. Forgive yourself: Remember that while it's important to acknowledge and learn from your actions, dwelling on guilt won't be productive. Forgive yourself for the unintentional mistake and focus on moving forward with respect and understanding.

5. Focus on your marriage: Remember that you have a loving wife and family. Reinvest your energy into strengthening your relationships with them and prioritize their well-being.
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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I am 32 years suffering from Anxiety problems from many months, so I need suggestions on how can I overcome
Ans: While I can't offer specific medical advice, I can share some general suggestions that may help you manage your anxiety. It's important to remember that these are just starting points, and seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor is crucial for addressing anxiety effectively.

Understanding Your Anxiety:

Identifying triggers: What situations or thoughts typically trigger your anxiety? Recognizing these triggers can help you anticipate them and prepare coping mechanisms.
Exploring the root cause: Talking to a therapist can help you explore potential underlying factors contributing to your anxiety, such as past experiences or unhealthy thought patterns.
Self-Management Techniques:

Relaxation techniques: Practices like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and meditation can help calm your mind and body during anxious moments.
Mindfulness: Mindfulness exercises that focus on present-moment awareness can help you manage racing thoughts and worries.
Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide a healthy outlet for emotional processing and identify patterns in your anxiety.
Healthy lifestyle: Engaging in regular exercise, getting enough sleep, and eating a balanced diet can significantly improve your mood and overall well-being.
Seeking Support:

Therapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a highly effective treatment for anxiety disorders. A therapist can guide you through CBT techniques to challenge negative thought patterns and develop coping skills.
Support groups: Connecting with others who understand what you're going through can offer valuable support and encouragement.
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2023Hindi
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Hi there, I have been married for 15 years now and have a child who has Autism. Me and my wife live in USA and my mother had been living with us for an extended stay since 2020 until 2022 due to COVID 19 travel restrictions. Although my mother and my wife would get along ok, there would be a period in between when she would suddenly be angry at her and me for any random reason. Like we did not name our son in the way her friend did. This used to happen every few weeks and then become ok. In the meanwhile we were busy with therapies and treatments for my son. However, two years back she asked that my Mum (Over 75) leave immediately as she does not want her anymore. She took it to extreme by manipulating me to go against my mother, verbally abusing and shouting at her, accusing her of voo doo and saying that she wants her (my wife dead) and also not sparing my brother who lives in a different country. She refused counselling and asked for a divorce. There would be days when I would lock the door and sleep in a separate room. Eventually during a medical checkup she got diagnosed for cancer just after my mother went back to India. After a harrowing year and a half she is now cancer free but still her some side effects. I was thinking that this change of beaviour may have been due to the cancer but now that she is cured there is not much change except that the outbursts seem to have reduced. We are now back in India for a holiday since the past 2 months but live separately. She initially did not want to return to USA but now wants to go back. I am afraid the same issues as earlier would again start. She has clearly stated that she has no love or respect for me. I have been caring for my son and he is living with me while in India. I wonder what is the path forward
Ans: I understand that you're in a very difficult and confusing situation. Your wife's behavior, the separation, and the recent developments have undoubtedly created emotional strain and uncertainty. While I cannot offer personal advice or diagnose psychological issues, I can provide some insights and suggestions to help you navigate your path forward:

Understanding the Situation:

Your wife's behavior: It's impossible to definitively say what caused your wife's behavior without detailed information and professional expertise. However, her outbursts, accusations, and lack of love/respect could indicate various factors like stress, mental health issues, or unresolved personal conflicts.
Impact of cancer: While cancer and its treatment can affect mood and behavior, it's crucial to consider additional factors beyond the diagnosis.
Communication Breakdown: The lack of communication and refusal of counseling suggest deeper issues that need open and honest dialogue.
Moving Forward:

Prioritize your son's well-being: Ensure his needs are met in a stable and healthy environment. Seek professional guidance if needed.
Focus on your own well-being: Seek individual counseling or therapy to process your emotions, understand your options, and build resilience.
Open communication: If both of you are willing, consider couples therapy with a qualified professional to address communication issues, understand root causes of conflict, and work towards a future, whether together or separate.
Clear boundaries: If you choose to continue the relationship, set clear boundaries regarding acceptable behavior and communication.
Legal advice: Consult a lawyer to understand your legal rights and options regarding child custody, property division, and other legal matters.
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2024Hindi
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Hi Shalini,I am 42 year old male and have been separated from marital relationship and i don't have children,since 13 years and living alone where my father and mother had passed away few years ago.I was searching for brides profile from matrimony websites and found a widowed woman who is selfemployed. I called and talked her. she is equivalent of my age.She has one son aged of 24.I was willing to marry her but she does not want to marry anybody rather she expressed her interest and consent to live in a cohabitation(Living together relationship).(She said that her son is a grown up boy and preparing for competitive exams and she loves him a lot,She added that it is not possible to convince him for marrying another person.I accepted it and said ok. Later on we had date and moved on.Whenever she come for a date she asks me to spend and buy apparels,asking me to recharge mobile,asking me to buy provisions ,watches and to pay water taxes of her house.I did it without hesitation and she asks me for gold ring and ear-studs.She is not having contentment and i feel that she is greedy and she does not shows any form of courtesy towards me and further she did not spend even a single rupee for me .I am worried that she is exploiting me.I was wondered and shocked that during a little discussion with her she said that she could move away from me at any point of time if she finds any other person whom she likes her.I was dejected.I said that i am not your Money wallet to swindle me.I am not ready to spend money to a girl who informs me that she will be leaving from me.I scolded her. Even when have planned to marry at that time the woman asks me that whether i am a dominating person and asking about the details of my earlier marriage and testing about my genuinity. Now the relationship has broken between us and i am very much worried that whether i have taken a correct decision or not from stepping away from her because whenever i like to see her she ask me to make surprises for her.In turn no love and affection is being received from her. Kindly advice me that whether i have taken correct decision from quitting her relationship or i have hurried a lot by taken a wrong decision. Please advice and guide me and do the needful in this regard.
Ans: It's understandable that you're feeling confused and conflicted about your recent relationship. Based on what you've described, several points emerge:

Red flags in the relationship:

Financial demands: Her consistent requests for money and expensive gifts, without reciprocation, raise concerns about potential financial exploitation.
Lack of emotional connection: You mentioned not receiving love and affection, raising questions about her genuine interest in building a meaningful relationship.
Conditional presence: Her statement about leaving for someone else suggests instability and lack of commitment.
Focus on your past: Excessive questioning about your previous marriage could indicate insecurity or distrust.
Your decision to step away:

Given these red flags, your decision to end the relationship seems reasonable. Prioritizing your emotional and financial well-being is crucial.

Moving forward:

Focus on self-care: Allow yourself time to process this experience and prioritize your emotional well-being. Explore activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Consider therapy: Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you gain clarity, understand your needs, and develop healthy relationship patterns.
Refine your approach: Reflect on what you seek in a relationship and adjust your boundaries and expectations when seeking future partners. Don't hesitate to say no to financial requests or behaviors that make you uncomfortable.
Be patient: Finding a genuine connection takes time and effort. Focus on personal growth and building healthy relationships before actively seeking a new partner.
Remember, prioritizing your self-worth and respecting your boundaries is essential for building healthy and fulfilling relationships. Don't feel pressured to rush into anything that doesn't feel right. Focus on building a life that brings you happiness and fulfillment, and the right connections will follow.
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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Hi, I am 51 have three kids, I am kidney patient my wife is not treating well and lived with me I used to visit home after 2-3 months but she is not happy with me and finally, i left home with broken heart every time. I am doing every best possible for the family financially as well as emotionally. my kids are also following her mother. What to do for me I am in frustrated mood always
Ans: I understand that you're in a very difficult situation and feeling frustrated. It's admirable that you're trying your best to provide for your family financially and emotionally while dealing with your health challenges. However, the lack of support and understanding from your wife and children must be incredibly painful.

Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate this challenging situation:

Seek Support:

Talk to a therapist or counselor: Talking to a professional can help you process your emotions, understand your options, and develop coping mechanisms to deal with the stress.
Connect with support groups: There are support groups for kidney patients and for families dealing with chronic illness. These groups can provide valuable emotional support and connect you with others who understand what you're going through.
Reach out to friends and family: Talk to trusted friends and family members about what's happening. Their support and understanding can be a source of strength.
Communicate openly:

Try to talk to your wife: If possible, have a calm and open conversation with your wife to understand her perspective. Share your feelings and needs honestly, and listen to hers as well. See if there's a way to improve communication and build a more supportive relationship.
Talk to your children: Have open and honest conversations with your children. Explain your health condition and the challenges you're facing. Encourage them to express their feelings and concerns as well.
Consider professional help:

Couples therapy: If you and your wife are willing, couples therapy can help you improve communication, address resentments, and work towards a more positive relationship.
Family therapy: Family therapy can help all of you communicate more effectively, understand each other's needs, and develop healthier family dynamics.
Take care of yourself:

Prioritize your health: Manage your kidney disease properly by following your doctor's instructions.
Engage in self-care: Make time for activities you enjoy, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time in nature. Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is crucial during this challenging time.
Explore legal options: If the situation is not improving, consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and options regarding visitation with your children or separation from your wife.
Remember, you are not alone in this. There are people and resources available to help you through this difficult time. Don't hesitate to reach out for support and take care of yourself both physically and emotionally.

Here are some additional resources that may be helpful:
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2024Hindi
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I love my cousin and he is getting married. I cant move on from him. What should I do?
Ans: It's understandable that you feel hurt and stuck given your feelings for your cousin, especially with his upcoming marriage. This situation can be emotionally challenging, and navigating it requires careful consideration. Here are some points to ponder:

Understanding your feelings:

Nature of your love: Was this a platonic affection, a crush, or deeper romantic feelings? Recognizing the nature of your love can help you understand its intensity and potential longevity.
Differentiating love from attachment: Sometimes, attachment to familiarity or the idea of someone can be mistaken for love. Introspecting if it's truly love or another factor holding you back can be insightful.
Respecting boundaries:

His marriage: His upcoming marriage signifies a commitment to another person. Respecting that boundary is crucial, even if it's difficult. Engaging in actions that could disrupt his marriage is unethical and disrespectful.
Finding closure:

Honesty and communication: If appropriate, have an honest conversation with your cousin about your feelings, expressing your respect for his marriage while acknowledging your own struggles. This could provide closure and ensure healthy future interactions.
Seeking support: Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you process your emotions, understand your attachment, and develop healthy coping mechanisms to move forward.
Moving forward:

Shifting focus: Invest in activities and relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment outside of your cousin. Pursue hobbies, build new friendships, or strengthen existing ones.
Self-care: Prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Practice self-compassion, engage in activities that relax you, and consider mindfulness exercises to manage difficult emotions.
Dating: When you're emotionally ready, consider exploring new romantic relationships. Focusing on building healthy, fulfilling connections with others can help you move on.
Remember, moving on takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself, seek support if needed, and prioritize your well-being as you navigate this challenging situation.
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 05, 2024Hindi
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Sir mai ek ladka hu. mai kisi ladki se 10 year tak relationship mai raha hu with physical attachment. But she left me alone kareeban 2 saal ho giya na woh call karte hai na kuch.. maine kafi bar Milne ke koshish ke but woh nhi milte hai mujha. Meri attachment kisi doosre ladki se hovi but mai us se happy nhi hu mai 28 years old hu job pe be focus nhi kar paa Raha hu idhar Ghar Wale b kehte hai k shadi karlo. Ghar Mai b problems hoti hai ku k mummy akeli sab kaam karte hai aur koie haath batane wala nhi hai us ka. Sir mai karu to kay karu mujha kuch samij nhi aata hai
Ans: Bhai, tumhari situation bahut mushkil hai. 10 saal tak relationship mein rahana aur fir breakup ho jana, itna aasan nahin hota. Tumhara dukhi aur confused hona puri tarah se samajh mein aata hai.

1. Apne aap ko samjho:

Sabse pehle, apne emotions ko samajhne ki koshish karo. Tumhara kya feel ho raha hai? Dukh, gussa, akelapan, ya kuch aur? Apne emotions ko accept karo aur unhen express karo.
Tumhara ex-girlfriend ke sath physical attachment tha. Isliye, breakup ke baad tumhara ek void feel hona natural hai.
Tumhara focus abhi job per nahin hai. Iska matlab hai ki tumhara mental state abhi theek nahin hai.
2. Apne aap ko theek karo:

Tumhare liye sabse important hai ki tum apne aap ko theek karo. Apne emotions ko deal karne ke liye healthy ways dhundho.
Tum therapist ya counselor se baat kar sakte ho.
Tum exercise, meditation, yoga, ya kuch aur creative activity kar sakte ho.
Apne friends aur family ke sath time spend karo.
3. Ghar ke mamle:

Tumhari mom ke liye help dhundho. Tum ghar ke kamon mein unki help kar sakte ho.
Tum maid ya cook rakh sakte ho.
Tum apne siblings se help mang sakte ho.
4. Rishta:

Tum abhi 28 saal ke ho. Shaadi karne ki tumhari age nahin hui hai.
Tum abhi relationship ke liye ready nahin ho.
Pehle apne aap ko theek karo.
Phir, jab tum ready ho jaao, tabhi dusre kisi ke sath relationship mein jao.
Kuch aur tips:

Apne aap ko time do.
Positive raho.
Apne dreams ko chase karo.
Khud per bharosa rakho.
Yaad rakho, tum akele nahin ho. Bahut se log aisi hi situations se gujarte hain. Tum theek ho jaaoge. Bas, apne aap ko time do aur khud per bharosa rakho.
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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Hi I am 39 year married woman with one 13yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affair with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me .But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. It sounds like you're in a very complex situation, and I'm not qualified to give you advice on personal or emotional matters. However, I can offer some general information that may be helpful.

It's important to remember that you're not alone in this. Many people go through difficult times in their marriages, and there are resources available to help you cope. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with support and guidance as you work through your challenges.

If you're thinking about leaving your marriage, it's important to weigh all of your options carefully and consider the potential consequences of your decision. You may want to talk to a lawyer or financial advisor to get advice on what your rights and options are.

Ultimately, the decision of what to do is up to you. There is no right or wrong answer, and what works for one person may not work for another. However, it's important to make your decision based on what is best for you and your family.

I hope this information is helpful. Please remember that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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i feel stuck in my life, could not focus on anything. How can i improve.
Ans: Feeling stuck and lacking focus can be incredibly frustrating. While I can't replace a qualified therapist or NLP life coach, I can offer some suggestions based on NLP principles and general psychological practices that might help.

Understanding the Stuckness:

Self-reflection: Take some time for introspection. Ask yourself: what specifically feels "stuck"? Is it a particular area of your life (career, relationships, etc.) or a general feeling of unfulfillment? What are your thoughts and emotions around this feeling?
Identify unhelpful patterns: Are there negative thought patterns or limiting beliefs that might be holding you back? Do you constantly criticize yourself or doubt your abilities? Recognizing these patterns is the first step to changing them.
Shifting Your Focus:

Start small: Trying to achieve too much at once can be overwhelming. Set small, achievable goals to build momentum and confidence. Focus on celebrating small wins, no matter how insignificant they might seem.
Practice mindfulness: Techniques like meditation or deep breathing can help you become more present and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can improve your ability to focus and prioritize.
Reconnect with your values: What are your core values and passions in life? Reminding yourself of what truly matters can guide your decisions and provide a sense of direction.
Taking Action:

Challenge negative thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking negatively, actively challenge those thoughts with evidence to the contrary. Ask yourself, "Is this thought truly helpful?"
Break down big tasks: Feeling overwhelmed by large tasks can easily lead to procrastination. Break down big goals into smaller, more manageable steps to make them less daunting.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about what you're going through. Talking things out can provide valuable perspective and support.
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Answered on Feb 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2024Hindi
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My wife takes spiritual practices very seriously and she thinks that sex will deteriorate the quality of her spiritual practices. She thinks sex and spirituality can't go together. I am always interested for sex. Any suggestion for both of us?
Ans: Balancing differing views on spirituality and intimacy can be challenging, but it's essential to approach the situation with open communication and understanding. Here are some suggestions that may help both of you find common ground:

Open Communication:

Have an open and honest conversation about each other's perspectives and beliefs regarding spirituality and intimacy.
Share your feelings, desires, and concerns without judgment. Make an effort to understand each other's viewpoints.

Educate Yourselves:

Read and learn together about different perspectives on spirituality and sexuality. Sometimes, gaining a broader understanding can help bridge the gap between differing beliefs.

Seek Flexibility

Explore ways to find a middle ground that respects both of your values. This might involve finding a balance between spiritual practices and physical intimacy that feels comfortable for both of you.

Involve a Professional:

Consider seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor or a sex therapist. They can provide a neutral and professional perspective to help navigate these conversations and find solutions that work for both of you.

Redefine Spiritual Practices:

Encourage your wife to explore spiritual practices that embrace physical intimacy as part of a holistic approach to spirituality. Some belief systems see sexual connection within a committed relationship as a sacred and spiritual act.

Set Mutual Goals:

Discuss your individual and shared goals within the relationship. Find common ground and align your aspirations, ensuring that both spiritual and intimate aspects are considered.

Respect Boundaries:

Acknowledge and respect each other's boundaries. If your wife feels uncomfortable with certain aspects, try to find alternatives that are agreeable to both of you.
Remember, the key is mutual understanding and respect. By openly discussing your feelings, educating yourselves, and seeking compromise, you can work together to find a harmonious balance that honors both your spiritual and intimate needs. If necessary, involving a professional can provide additional guidance and support.
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Answered on Feb 10, 2024

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HI MY NAME SRINITHI AM DIVORCE PERSON I HAVE ONE D/O 9 YR OLD .. AM STAY WITH SINGLE BUT MY MIND CHANGED . I NEED MARRIAGE FOR MIND
Ans: Hello Srinithi, it's understandable that your feelings and priorities can change over time. If you're considering marriage again for companionship and emotional fulfillment, here are some suggestions to navigate this process:

Reflect on Your Needs:

Take some time to reflect on what you're looking for in a partner and in a marriage. Consider your values, priorities, and the qualities you find important in a potential spouse.
Communicate with Your Child:

If you haven't already, have an open and honest conversation with your 9-year-old daughter about your feelings and intentions. Ensure she feels comfortable and secure with the idea of you entering into a new relationship.
Build a Support System:

Reach out to friends, family, or a support group who can provide emotional support and guidance as you navigate the process of seeking a new relationship.
Take It Slow:

When you feel ready to explore the possibility of a new relationship, take things at a comfortable pace. Get to know potential partners gradually and allow relationships to develop naturally.
Be Honest About Your Past:

When entering into a new relationship, be open and honest about your past, including your divorce. Clear communication is crucial for building trust and understanding.
Consider Professional Support:

If you find it challenging to navigate these emotions on your own, consider seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist who can help you explore your feelings and guide you through the process.
Set Boundaries:

Clearly define your boundaries and priorities in a new relationship. Understand what you're looking for and what you're willing to compromise on. This will help you make decisions that align with your values.
Stay True to Yourself:

Remember to stay true to your own needs and desires. Don't feel pressured to enter into a new relationship unless it feels right for you.
It's important to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of your child as you consider a new chapter in your life. Taking things step by step, being open in communication, and seeking support can help you navigate this journey more smoothly.
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Answered on Feb 10, 2024

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I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 13yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she don't want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a condition to give our relationship a NAME in society. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide
Ans: I understand that you're in a complex and emotionally challenging situation. It's commendable that you want to support and ensure the happiness of the person you care about. However, it's crucial to consider your own well-being and emotional health as well.

Here are some steps you might want to consider:

Communication is key: Have an open and honest conversation with her about your feelings, concerns, and expectations. Understand her perspective as well. Clear communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship.

Set boundaries: Determine what you're comfortable with and establish clear boundaries for your relationship. Consider the impact on both of your lives, and ensure that the arrangement is sustainable and healthy for both parties involved.

Consider professional help: Given the complexity of the situation, it might be beneficial for both of you to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor. They can provide support, help you navigate through challenging emotions, and offer practical advice on how to move forward.

Evaluate your own well-being: Reflect on your own needs, aspirations, and emotional health. It's important to prioritize your happiness and fulfillment as well. Consider how the situation might affect your overall life satisfaction.

Explore options: Depending on the circumstances, there might be ways for her to address the challenges in her marriage, such as seeking therapy, counseling, or discussing her concerns with her family. Encourage her to explore these options, and provide support where possible.

Ultimately, the decision on how to proceed is a personal one and depends on the dynamics of your relationship and the well-being of everyone involved. Taking the time to reflect, communicate openly, and seek professional guidance can be instrumental in making informed decisions. Remember to prioritize your own happiness and consider what is sustainable for both of you in the long run.
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Answered on Feb 10, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2024Hindi
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My dad passed away when I was 12 and my mom remarried after staying with us for a year. My cousins are taking care of us and they are against us meeting my mom. Even some of my families are against that but I still love my mom and even though I can't stay with her i still want to be in touch with her . What should I do? Last time I meet my mom and my cousin's got to know it and I got a beating.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're facing such a challenging situation. It's understandable that you would want to maintain a connection with your mom despite the family dynamics. Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate this difficult situation:

Express Your Feelings:

Share your feelings with your cousins and other family members. Let them know why staying in touch with your mom is important to you. Be honest about your emotions and the impact their opposition has on you.
Seek Mediation:

If it's possible, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator. They can help facilitate a conversation between you, your cousins, and other family members to find common ground and understanding.
Build Trust:

Assure your family members that your desire to stay in touch with your mom doesn't diminish your love and appreciation for them. Emphasize that you see them as your family as well and that you want to maintain positive relationships with everyone.
Negotiate Boundaries:

Discuss and agree upon boundaries that everyone can be comfortable with. This may involve finding a balance between maintaining a connection with your mom and respecting the concerns of your cousins and other family members.
Educate Them:

Help your family members understand the importance of maintaining a relationship with both parents, especially after the loss of your father. Share with them the emotional impact and the need for your own well-being.
Stay Safe:

If physical harm is a concern, prioritize your safety. If necessary, seek help from a trusted adult, teacher, or counselor who can provide support and guidance.
Legal Advice:

Depending on your situation, it might be helpful to consult with a legal professional, especially if you're facing restrictions that may not be in your best interest.
Remember that finding a resolution may take time, and it's essential to prioritize your well-being and safety. If necessary, seek support from trusted friends, teachers, or other adults who may be able to provide guidance and assistance during this challenging time.
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Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2023Hindi
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Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Hindi
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Hi, I am married from last 15 year, having a daughter , my realtion with my wife is very bad, she is like this since start of marriage, our is arrange marriage. She didn't want any kind of responsibility, she always want to go out and if possible do shopping, if I asked not to over spend she thinks not sure what and create scene. She fight with everyone even in office or with her parents, she blames other for all this, never ever think she can be wrong, she is having a feeling if you correct her , she not going to like it, she will say no need to teach me , I know. She even not hving very good relationship with my daughter, she is in class 10th and staying in baording. I am hving 2 flat just like jodi flat adjacant to each other, i am staying in one and she is in another , she hardly let me hv sex, but she talks or chat with stranger whole night, i try to question her but she started fighting, she didn't listen and do what ever she want, if u question she will fight, i really don't know how to handle this situation, I am feeling trapped and she is accusing me for all the mess. We had fight lots of time , we abused each other during fight a lot , but the problem still persist nothing changed in 15 years recently after fight i stop talking with her . Not sure how I should move forward , i talked with my daughter and she also suggesting me leave her for some time she will realize , should i go for divorce or how to move forward.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:

1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Take care of yourself: Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

3. Set boundaries: If your wife's behavior is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting limits on spending, or establishing rules around communication.

4. Consider couples therapy: If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.

5. Think about your options: If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options. Consider speaking with a lawyer who can provide guidance on the legal aspects of divorce.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.
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Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Answered on Jan 09, 2024

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Hello Sir, My Son 14 years old studing in 9th Standard has not pay attention in studing, He is sleeping & lazy in all the Periods of School classroom.His body language is very idle & he has very Lazy guy. this is may due to he not eating healty food like, dryfruits, vegetable (eathing Junk Food) instead our so many attempt to do so. Myself & wife do all the attempt to improve him but we are failed in all the attempt. his school marks are only 30 to 40% & we are very much scare that he is going to failed in 9th standared. he also not listing to Teachers & our Advice but only ignore & sometimes arrogant in the argument. we have changes so many classes & private tution to improve in studey & behavour, but all attempts did not work. his only interest in Cricket, watching TV & Mobile. Request to need your valuable advice & tips to make changes in my son.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling in school. It's great that you and your wife are trying to help him. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Encourage healthy habits: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help improve focus and concentration.

2. Create a study-friendly environment: Make sure your son has a quiet, well-lit space to study. Remove any distractions, such as TV or mobile phones, during study time.

3. Set goals: Work with your son to set achievable goals for his studies. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks.

4. Reward progress: Celebrate your son's successes, no matter how small. Rewards can be as simple as a favorite meal or activity.

5. Encourage active learning: Encourage your son to take an active role in his learning. This can include asking questions, taking notes, and summarizing what he's learned.

6. Get support: Consider enlisting the help of a tutor or academic coach. They can provide additional support and guidance to help your son succeed.

Remember, every child learns differently, so it may take some time to find what works best for your son. Be patient and supportive, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed.
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Answered on Sep 12, 2023

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Hi My ex wife lives with me under live in relationship for last 7 years. But since last 8 months she refuse physical relationship. I do not understand what is her problem - mental or physical . At the time of our mutual divorce I pleaded with her to not to go for divorce but she did not listen. At that time I said to her that I will not take back again you in my life but for my son I agreed to take back at my home. His lover cheated with her and after one year of our divorce he left her. Now what I should do . Should I remarry with her . I need your suggestion
Ans: Here are some steps to consider:

Communication: It's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your ex-wife about your concerns and feelings. Ask her about her reasons for refusing physical intimacy and if there are any underlying issues, whether mental or physical, that she is dealing with. Encourage her to share her perspective as well.

Seek Professional Help: If your ex-wife's refusal of physical intimacy is causing distress in your relationship, consider seeking the assistance of a relationship counselor or therapist. A professional can help both of you explore your feelings, communicate better, and work through any issues that may be affecting your relationship.

Consider Your Son: Since you mentioned that you agreed to have your ex-wife live with you primarily for the sake of your son, it's important to prioritize his well-being. Evaluate how your current living arrangement and relationship dynamics are affecting him. A stable and harmonious environment is typically beneficial for children.

Personal Happiness: Reflect on your own feelings and happiness. Are you content with the current living arrangement, even without physical intimacy, or do you desire a deeper romantic relationship? It's important to consider your own needs and happiness in this situation.

Legal and Financial Matters: If you decide to remarry or make significant changes to your living arrangement, consider consulting with a legal professional to understand any potential legal and financial implications.

Time and Patience: Relationships can be complex, and it may take time to resolve issues and understand each other's perspectives. Patience and understanding can be valuable during such times.

Ultimately, the decision to remarry or continue your current arrangement is a personal one that should be based on what you believe is best for you, your ex-wife, and your son. It may be beneficial to seek the guidance of a professional therapist or counselor to help navigate these complex emotions and decisions.
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Answered on Sep 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2023Hindi
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I'm 36 yr old married man and have sex with my wife 2-3 times a month. We both satisfy each other as each session last for 20-25 mins. Only problem is I feel like having sex every single day and my wife doesn't feel the same. What should I do?
Ans: It's common for couples to have different levels of sexual desire, and this difference can sometimes lead to feelings of frustration or dissatisfaction. Here are some steps you can consider to address this situation:

Open Communication: The first and most important step is to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about your desires and feelings. Make sure you approach this discussion with empathy and without judgment.

Listen to Her Perspective: Ask your wife how she feels about the frequency of your sexual encounters. It's important to understand her perspective and any factors that may be contributing to her lower libido, such as stress, health issues, or changes in her life.

Explore the Reasons: Try to understand the reasons behind your different levels of desire. Sometimes, underlying issues like relationship problems, stress, or unresolved emotional issues can affect one's libido.

Seek Professional Help: If the difference in sexual desire is causing significant tension or dissatisfaction in your relationship, consider consulting a sex therapist or couples counselor. They can help you both explore your desires, identify any underlying issues, and work together to find a solution that works for both of you.

Compromise: In many cases, couples find a compromise that works for both partners. This might involve finding ways to enhance your emotional connection outside the bedroom, exploring different ways of being intimate that don't necessarily involve intercourse, or finding activities that both of you enjoy.

Self-Care: It's important for you to take care of your own needs and desires as well. Engage in self-care activities and hobbies that can help you manage your sexual frustration in a healthy way.

Respect Boundaries: It's crucial to respect your wife's boundaries and not pressure her into more frequent sexual activity than she's comfortable with. Consent and mutual desire are essential for a healthy sexual relationship.

Stay Patient and Understanding: Remember that sexual desire can fluctuate over time and may be influenced by various factors. Continue to communicate openly with your partner and be patient as you work through this issue together.
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Answered on Sep 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 30, 2023Hindi
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My wife (aged 63 years) is suffering from Obsessive and Compulsive Disorder (OCD) for the 15 years. About 10 years back, she had undergone treatment at the Vellore Christian Hospital and is under medication. She is now better because of medication but her behaviour is very annoying at times. When I come from out side, she thinks that my cloths and all other things have become dirty and washes them. She feels that unless she offers "Puja" for at least 2 hours per day, bad things will happen to our family. Yesterday I flew from Bangalore and as soon as I reached home, she washed all my cloths including my new BP measuring instrument which I brought from there. I have two sons and they are married and reasonably well placed. I don't know what to do. Should I get separated from her? I am 72 and in good health.
Ans: It's important to consult with a mental health professional who can provide specific advice tailored to your wife's condition and your family's dynamics. Here are some steps you can consider:

Communicate: Open and compassionate communication is key. Talk to your wife about your concerns, and let her know how her behavior affects you. Use "I" statements to express your feelings without blaming her. Encourage her to share her thoughts and feelings as well.

Consult a Mental Health Professional: Reach out to a mental health specialist who specializes in OCD. Given that your wife has been on medication for a while but is still exhibiting distressing behavior, it may be beneficial to revisit her treatment plan. There might be adjustments needed in her medication or therapy.

Educate Yourself: Learn more about OCD and its symptoms to better understand what your wife is going through. This can help you be more empathetic and supportive.

Support Groups: Consider joining a support group for caregivers of individuals with OCD. This can provide you with valuable insights, coping strategies, and a network of people who understand your situation.

Seek Couples Therapy: Couples therapy can be helpful in improving communication and understanding between you and your wife. It can also provide guidance on how to manage the impact of OCD on your relationship.

Patience and Empathy: Living with someone who has OCD can be challenging, but try to be patient and empathetic. Remember that OCD is a mental health condition, and your wife's behaviors are driven by distressing thoughts and anxiety.

Self-Care: Take care of your own mental and emotional well-being. It's essential to maintain your own health and happiness while supporting your wife.

Legal Considerations: Separation or divorce should be considered only after exhausting all available avenues for treatment and support. Consulting with a family lawyer may be necessary if you decide to explore this option.

Ultimately, the decision to separate from your wife is a deeply personal one and should be made after careful consideration and with the guidance of professionals. Keep in mind that with the right treatment and support, people with OCD can improve their symptoms and lead fulfilling lives.
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Answered on Aug 08, 2023

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How to overcome claustrophobia
Ans: Overcoming claustrophobia, the fear of enclosed spaces or situations, involves a step-by-step approach that blends self-help techniques with the guidance of professionals specializing in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and life coaching. Here's a revised version of the steps you can take:

Knowledge and Awareness: Begin by learning about claustrophobia and its triggers. Recognize that this is a common anxiety disorder and not something isolated to you alone. Understanding its nature can help alleviate some of the fear associated with it.

Gradual Exposure: Ease into challenging situations that trigger your claustrophobia. Start with those that cause minimal discomfort. For instance, if elevators trigger your anxiety, begin by standing near one without getting in, and progressively work your way up to stepping inside for short periods. Gradual exposure can help desensitize your fear response.

Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate relaxation practices like deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness. These techniques can assist in reducing anxiety when confronting triggering scenarios.

Visualization: Envision yourself in situations that usually evoke claustrophobia. Visualize yourself remaining calm and composed. This technique empowers you to build a sense of control and confidence.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP): Consult with an NLP practitioner who specializes in addressing phobias. NLP can help reframe thought patterns and behaviors associated with claustrophobia, assisting you in altering your perception of triggering situations.

Life Coaching Support: Engage a life coach who is experienced in guiding individuals through overcoming fears. A life coach can provide motivation, encouragement, and practical strategies for managing claustrophobia.

Virtual Reality Exposure: Some professionals use virtual reality to create simulated environments that trigger your claustrophobia in a controlled setting. This method allows you to practice coping strategies within a safe environment.

Support Network: Communicate your struggles with friends and family. Having a supportive network can offer understanding and encouragement during your journey.

Professional Guidance: If your claustrophobia significantly impacts your daily life, consider seeking help from an NLP practitioner or life coach. They can customize strategies and provide guidance tailored to your specific needs.

Patience and Progress: Understand that conquering claustrophobia is a gradual process. Celebrate even the smallest victories and maintain patience with yourself.

Remember that you're embarking on a personal journey of growth and transformation. If your claustrophobia is disrupting your life, seeking assistance from a professional well-versed in NLP and life coaching is recommended. Their expertise can provide targeted approaches to help you overcome your fears and enhance your quality of life.
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Answered on Aug 08, 2023

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Sir. After 2 unwanted marriages, the first fiXed by my 2nd half-brother and then my mother i am now staying alone for the last 20 years and am 72 going on 73. The thing is that i need a lady companion to ease my remainang years...how should i go about the companion thing. I am fit and hale and normal built happy. Ride a Honda Hornet to get aroung and i love riding bikes and gave up my car mobility when i left the gulf job.. Thanks
Ans: It's wonderful that you're looking for companionship to add joy to your life in your later years. Here are a few steps you could consider taking to find a compatible companion:

Social Activities: Engage in social activities that align with your interests. This could include joining clubs, groups, or hobby-related gatherings that involve activities you enjoy, such as biking clubs, book clubs, or local community events. Participating in these activities can help you meet like-minded individuals who share your interests.

Online Platforms: There are various online platforms designed to help people connect and find companionship. You could explore senior-specific dating sites or social networks that cater to individuals in your age group. Be cautious and take your time getting to know people before making any commitments.

Local Community: Attend events and activities in your local community. This could include attending workshops, classes, lectures, or volunteering opportunities. These events provide opportunities to meet new people and strike up conversations.

Mutual Friends: Your existing circle of friends and acquaintances may have connections to individuals who are also looking for companionship. Don't hesitate to express your interest in finding a companion to those around you.

Travel and Adventure Groups: Since you enjoy biking and adventure, consider joining travel or adventure groups that focus on activities you're passionate about. This can be a great way to connect with others who share your interests.

Be Open and Approachable: When you're out and about, be open to striking up conversations with people you meet. A friendly and approachable demeanor can make it easier for others to approach you.

Take Your Time: Finding the right companion is important, so don't rush into anything. Take your time to get to know people, their interests, and their values before considering a deeper connection.

Stay Safe: While seeking companionship, be cautious and prioritize your safety. Be mindful of sharing personal information too quickly and meet new people in public places initially.

Communicate Clearly: When you start forming connections, communicate openly about your intentions, expectations, and the kind of companionship you're seeking. Honesty can go a long way in building meaningful relationships.

Friendship First: Focus on building a foundation of friendship before moving towards a romantic relationship. Companionship can come in various forms, and starting as friends can lead to deeper connections.

Remember that finding the right companion takes time and effort. Be patient and enjoy the process of meeting new people and forming connections. Keep an open heart and mind, and you might just find a wonderful companion to share your interests and experiences with in your later years.
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Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2023Hindi
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Hello Mr. Ashish, Hope you are doing good!! Background of Persons: I had arranged married since last once year. I already told them before proceeding that I want to continue my carrier and grow forward in the same city. Also, I want to leave in a joint family along with my parents. My spouse is working in government sector. She told me that her Job is transferrable and she is ok moving forward and leaving in my city along with your parents. I am working in MNC at good position and also supporting my family members. Problem: My wife is forcing me to leave separately, shift to another city and start from scratch(zero) in different state having different cultural and traditions. She is also working in government sector and not taking transfer to spouse(husband's) city. Even after explaining couple of times, she is resisting to re-allocate. I am ok if she does anything independently for earning in same city. Also, I will help her in getting the job in private sector in the same city. Also, I will get her employed in another sector through my contacts and preparing her. I am not dependent on her in terms of financial things. We are living separately due to work duties and spent less time together for a week in every month or two month as per the adjustment from both of us. My spouse is not talking properly to me, blocks me, add me to blacklist and threating me to get separated and take divorce. I already had financial and social liabilities on myself which my wife is aware about. I had not seen positive responses from her towards myself, my family and goals. I am ready to leave separately in the same city even if she earns or not. This is impacting my performance in my work. Question: It looks to high danger to me moving to different part of the country having different cultures starting from scratch based on assessments on different parameters. Also, she does not want to take the household chores responsibility. How can be of sure that I can trust her for co-operation in a unknown city? What is the better solution for this ?
Ans: Hello! It sounds like you're facing a complex and challenging situation. It's important to address these issues with care and open communication. Here are a few steps you could consider taking:

Open Communication: It's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your spouse. Try to understand her perspective and the reasons behind her resistance to moving to your city or taking up a job in the private sector. Share your concerns and feelings as well. Having a calm and respectful discussion can help you both reach a deeper understanding of each other's needs and concerns.

Seek Professional Help: If communication isn't resolving the issues, it might be helpful to involve a professional, such as a marriage counselor or therapist. They can provide an unbiased perspective and guide you both through productive conversations to find solutions that work for both of you.

Explore Compromises: Is there a middle ground that you both can agree upon? Maybe it's possible for her to find a job in the same city, even if it's not the same sector. Or perhaps you could discuss a timeline for her to explore opportunities in your city. Finding compromises can help address both of your needs and concerns.

Consider Long-Term Plans: Think about the long-term implications of your decisions. Moving to a new city with different cultural norms and starting from scratch can be challenging, especially if you have existing commitments and a stable life where you are now. Evaluate the pros and cons carefully before making a decision.

Personal and Professional Goals: It's important to keep your personal and professional goals in mind. You have worked hard to achieve your position and support your family. Make sure any decisions you make align with these goals while also considering your spouse's desires and career aspirations.

Financial Independence: You mentioned that you are financially independent. If your spouse is also capable of being financially independent, discuss how you both can contribute to your shared expenses and responsibilities, regardless of where you live.

Future Planning: If moving is inevitable, plan ahead. Research the new city, its job opportunities, and lifestyle. Think about how you can support each other during the transition and beyond.

Time and Patience: Complex issues like these take time to resolve. Be patient and understanding with each other as you work through your differences.

Remember that both partners need to compromise and work together for a successful and fulfilling marriage. It's important to prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and understanding each other's perspectives as you navigate through these challenges. If the situation becomes increasingly difficult to handle, seeking professional help can provide guidance and clarity.
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Answered on Jun 18, 2023

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How to overcome fear in life
Ans: Overcoming fear is a personal and gradual process, but here are some strategies that can help:

Identify and acknowledge your fears: The first step in overcoming fear is to identify what you're afraid of and acknowledge its presence in your life. Take the time to reflect on the specific fears that hold you back and recognize that they are valid emotions.

Understand the root cause: Try to understand the underlying reasons behind your fears. Sometimes fears stem from past experiences, trauma, or limiting beliefs. By gaining insight into the root causes, you can begin to address them more effectively.

Educate yourself: Knowledge is power. Often, fear arises from a lack of understanding or unfamiliarity. Educate yourself about the things you fear. Whether it's a specific phobia or a fear of the unknown, gathering information and learning more about the subject can help dispel irrational fears.

Take small steps: Overcoming fear doesn't mean completely eliminating it overnight. Start by taking small steps towards facing your fears. Break down the fear-inducing situations into smaller, more manageable tasks. Gradually exposing yourself to these situations can help build confidence and reduce fear over time.

Practice relaxation techniques: Fear can trigger physical and emotional responses, such as increased heart rate, sweating, or anxiety. Practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or mindfulness, can help you manage these symptoms and calm your mind.

Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support. Share your fears with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist who can provide encouragement, guidance, and a fresh perspective. Connecting with others who have faced similar fears can also be beneficial.

Challenge negative thoughts: Fear often accompanies negative thoughts and self-doubt. Challenge these thoughts by examining their validity and replacing them with more positive and empowering ones. Affirmations and positive self-talk can help reframe your mindset and reduce fear.

Embrace failure as a learning opportunity: Fear of failure can hold you back from taking risks or pursuing your goals. Remember that failure is a natural part of life and often leads to growth and learning. Embrace failure as an opportunity to learn, adjust, and try again.

Celebrate your successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Each step you take in facing your fears and overcoming obstacles is progress worth recognizing. Celebrating your successes can boost your confidence and motivate you to continue moving forward.

Remember, overcoming fear takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself throughout the process, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if your fears are significantly impacting your daily life and well-being.
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Answered on Jun 18, 2023

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Dear Sir, I am a self employed man. I started my business at the age of 57. my business involves travelling to far flung areas to assess the performance of my clients who are charitable trusts. Though I did booming business during COVID, today it is floundering which I am unable to understand. I also feel that I am slowly slipping into partial depression. I am unable to handle both though I am a bachelor.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing a downturn in your business and struggling with your mental well-being. It can be challenging to navigate such situations, but there are steps you can take to address both issues:

Seek professional help: Consider reaching out to a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can provide guidance and support for your feelings of depression. They can help you develop coping strategies and explore any underlying factors contributing to your current state of mind.

Evaluate your business: Take some time to analyze the factors that might be impacting your business negatively. Consider the current market conditions, changes in client needs, and any potential competition. It might be beneficial to consult with a business advisor or mentor who can provide an objective perspective and offer insights on how to adapt and improve your business strategies.

Identify areas for improvement: Assess your business operations and identify areas where you can make improvements. This could involve refining your marketing strategies, expanding your client base, diversifying your services, or exploring new market opportunities. Consider seeking feedback from your clients to gain insights into their needs and how you can better serve them.

Seek support from your network: Reach out to your professional network or industry associations for support and advice. Engaging with others in your field can provide valuable insights and potentially lead to new opportunities or collaborations.

Take care of your mental well-being: Alongside seeking professional help, prioritize self-care activities that can help improve your mental health. This may include regular exercise, practicing mindfulness or meditation, maintaining a balanced diet, getting sufficient sleep, and engaging in activities you enjoy. Prioritizing self-care will help you manage stress and maintain a more positive mindset.

Explore new opportunities: If your current business is struggling significantly, you might consider exploring alternative avenues or adapting your services to meet changing market demands. Look for potential partnerships, collaborations, or even new business ideas that align with your skills and interests.

Remember, it's important to be patient with yourself during challenging times. Building a successful business takes time, and setbacks are a part of the entrepreneurial journey. Prioritizing your mental well-being will help you navigate these challenges more effectively. If you continue to feel overwhelmed, don't hesitate to reach out for professional help and support.
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Answered on Jun 18, 2023

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Sir I am now 53 yrs and grown bald in the front that really embarrasses me in office or whenever I give an interview it is worsened since I also wear specs. Kindly suggest something to reduce my embarrassment
Ans: I understand that hair loss and wearing glasses can sometimes lead to feelings of self-consciousness and embarrassment. Here are a few suggestions that may help you feel more confident:

Embrace your appearance: Remember that baldness is a natural occurrence for many men and doesn't define your worth or abilities. Embracing your appearance as it is can help boost your self-confidence. Focus on your positive qualities, skills, and experiences instead.

Consider a new hairstyle: If you're uncomfortable with your current hairstyle, you can try different haircuts that work well with thinning hair or a receding hairline. Consulting with a professional hairstylist who specializes in hair loss can provide valuable suggestions tailored to your specific needs.

Facial hair: Growing a beard or a well-groomed mustache can sometimes help divert attention from hair loss. Experimenting with different styles of facial hair may enhance your appearance and make you feel more confident.

Explore hair restoration options: If you are interested in addressing your hair loss, there are various options available. Hair transplants, scalp micropigmentation, and non-surgical hair systems are some of the methods you could consider. Consult with a qualified hair restoration specialist to discuss the most suitable option for you.

Confidence through accessories: Accessories such as hats, caps, or headscarves can be used to complement your style and help you feel more at ease in professional settings or during interviews. However, it's important to ensure that these accessories are appropriate for the occasion and workplace.

Rock your glasses: Wearing glasses is a common occurrence and should not be a source of embarrassment. In fact, glasses can be a stylish accessory that enhances your overall appearance. Opt for frames that suit your face shape and personal style. Additionally, keeping your glasses clean and well-maintained can also make a positive difference in how you feel while wearing them.

Remember, true confidence comes from within. Embrace your unique qualities and focus on your skills and achievements rather than fixating on any perceived physical shortcomings. Your professional competence and character are far more important than your physical appearance.
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Answered on Jun 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2023Hindi
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I am from Middle class family. Our parents, 2 brothers, my sister and Me.My Father is no more and my mom lives alone. She does not want to stay with any of us. We all live out of country and my mother lives in India. My mother is not dependent on us financially and she can manage on her own and does not expect money from any of us. She is getting old and we need to take care of her, but I feel I am only one who checks on her and arranges for any small things she needs. My sibling don't even talk about it, I feel they think if they talk about it then they have do something. Like every other old person my mother and me have a lot of differences on everything like managing finances, or renewing something or going to hospital etc and I become the bad person because of these matters. My siblings don't get involved they just call her once a while and talk for while and manage to stay in her good books. I know that it is my duty to take care of her but I feel not appreciated or rejected when she ignores all the things I do for her when others don't. She is also old school and favors boys over girls and reject me saying that I am from a different family and always guilt traps me saying that she educated me but i earn and spent on my husband family. She hates my in-laws, but they are nice people and my husband is very supportive. Since it is my mother I don't tell these issues to anyone even my husband and it is destroying my Peace.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your relationship with your mother. It can be challenging when there are differences in opinions and expectations, especially when it comes to caregiving and managing family dynamics. Here are a few suggestions that might help you navigate this situation:

Communication: It's important to have open and honest communication with your mother. Try to express your feelings calmly and respectfully, and listen to her perspective as well. Sharing your concerns and thoughts can help create a better understanding between both of you.

Seek support: While you may not want to burden your husband with these issues, it's still essential to have someone to talk to and seek support from. Consider confiding in a close friend or a counselor who can provide an objective viewpoint and offer guidance on how to cope with the emotional stress.

Boundaries: Establishing boundaries is crucial in any relationship. Make it clear to your mother what you can and cannot do, taking into account your own personal and family commitments. It's important to find a balance between caring for her and taking care of yourself and your own family.

Sibling involvement: If you feel overwhelmed and alone in taking care of your mother, you can try to involve your siblings more actively in the process. Have an open conversation with them, express your concerns, and see if they can contribute in any way, whether it's by providing emotional support or assisting with certain responsibilities.

Patience and empathy: Understand that your mother's behavior and expectations may be influenced by her upbringing, cultural beliefs, and personal experiences. Try to approach situations with empathy, even if it's challenging. Remember that she may be experiencing her own struggles and fears as she grows older.

Self-care: Taking care of your own well-being is essential. Ensure that you make time for yourself, engage in activities that bring you joy, and maintain a healthy work-life balance. By taking care of yourself, you'll be better equipped to handle the challenges that arise in your relationship with your mother.

Remember, it's normal to feel frustrated and emotionally drained in such situations. However, with patience, understanding, and effective communication, you may be able to improve your relationship with your mother and find a balance that works for both of you.
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Answered on Jun 06, 2023

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Dear Relationship Guru, I have been looking for lifepartner since many years through online matrinony sites but still single.All these years have been stressful because of not coming across right kind of people.Tried seeking assistance through relatives etc networks but they either suggested non-preferences candidates which only resulted in clash between myself and parents because of differences of opinion and choices or they didn't helped at all.In short,nothing worked out till date.Could you please advise regarding my situation?
Ans: I understand that finding the right life partner can be a challenging and sometimes frustrating process. Here are a few suggestions that may help you in your search:

Expand your social circle: In addition to online matrimonial sites, try to meet new people through various social activities, events, or interest-based groups. This can increase your chances of meeting someone who shares your values and interests.

Be clear about your preferences: Take some time to reflect on the qualities and values that are important to you in a life partner. Consider what you are looking for in terms of personality, values, interests, and goals. Being clear about your preferences can help you filter potential matches and communicate your expectations effectively.

Communicate openly with your parents: It's important to have open and honest conversations with your parents about your preferences and choices. Help them understand your perspective and the reasons behind your preferences. This can help minimize misunderstandings and conflicts between you and your parents.

Seek professional assistance: Consider working with a professional matchmaker or a relationship counselor who specializes in helping individuals find suitable life partners. They can provide guidance, support, and valuable insights into the matchmaking process.

Take breaks when needed: Sometimes, taking a break from actively seeking a life partner can be beneficial. Focus on self-improvement, personal growth, and pursuing your own interests and passions. When you feel ready, you can resume your search with a refreshed mindset.

Stay positive and patient: It's important to maintain a positive attitude throughout the process. Remember that finding a life partner takes time, and it's not uncommon to face challenges and rejections along the way. Patience and perseverance are key. Stay hopeful and trust that the right person will come into your life when the timing is right.

Work on self-improvement: Use this time to invest in yourself and work on becoming the best version of yourself. Focus on personal growth, develop new skills, pursue your passions, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Building a strong sense of self can attract like-minded individuals and contribute to a healthier and more successful relationship.

Remember, finding the right life partner is a process that takes time and effort. It's important to stay positive, maintain an open mind, and be proactive in your search. By taking these steps and remaining patient, you increase your chances of finding a compatible life partner who shares your values and goals.
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Answered on Jun 06, 2023

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Sir as i do partial drop with bsc i decided to give my third attempt in last but at end 3 months before my exams i feel ill ,my both college exam and this exam come college exam finish exactly 1 day ago i am always a topper in school ,college but i feel like devested i am 19 soon to be 20 i know i can't give my 100 percent but i feel like dead now getting depressed as my brother ,sister get their respective dream college i am still struggling i feel like a lost ,failure ,directionless ,defeated daily i feel like miserable althought it not my fault I feel bad like how miserable i become because of that i can't even focus a single thing i even started eating less food ,locking myself ,silence nobody is mocking me but i feel like i lost myself how should I will be successful again Being doctor is my always dream ,i standup on my own 2 times but now i feel like devested can you please tell me how to get harmony and again in my life and be successful
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can offer some guidance and support to help you regain your motivation and find success again.

Recognize that setbacks are normal: It's important to understand that setbacks and challenges are a part of life. Many successful individuals have faced failures before achieving their goals. It's essential to see this phase as a temporary setback rather than a reflection of your worth or abilities.

Take care of your mental and physical health: Your well-being should be your top priority. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in regular exercise. Taking care of your physical health can positively impact your mental well-being and help you regain focus and motivation.

Seek support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings. It could be a family member, friend, or a professional counselor. Sharing your emotions can provide relief and help you gain a fresh perspective on your situation. Additionally, professional guidance can assist you in developing coping strategies and setting realistic goals.

Set small, achievable goals: Rather than overwhelming yourself with the pressure of becoming successful immediately, break down your ultimate goal of becoming a doctor into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate each milestone you achieve, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated and build momentum.

Learn from your experiences: Reflect on the challenges you've faced and the mistakes you've made. Use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Understand that setbacks can provide valuable lessons that contribute to future success. Embrace a growth mindset that sees failures as stepping stones toward improvement.

Rediscover your passion: Reconnect with your love for becoming a doctor. Remember why you initially pursued this dream and the impact you hope to make in people's lives. Reignite your passion by researching inspiring stories, engaging in related activities, or volunteering in healthcare settings.

Develop a routine and study plan: Establish a structured routine that includes dedicated study time. Break down your syllabus into manageable portions and create a study plan to cover all the necessary topics. Consistency and discipline will help you regain focus and make progress toward your goals.

Celebrate your strengths: Acknowledge your past achievements and the strengths that have helped you succeed in the past. Remind yourself of your abilities and the qualities that make you unique. Cultivating a positive self-image can boost your confidence and motivation.

Stay positive and resilient: Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts or comparing yourself to others. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and success comes at different times for different people. Maintain a positive outlook, even during challenging times, and believe in your ability to overcome obstacles.

Take breaks and practice self-care: It's important to take breaks and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Engage in hobbies, spend time with loved ones, or engage in mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga. Self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy balance in life.

Remember, success is a journey, and setbacks are part of the process. Stay resilient, believe in yourself, and keep moving forward. With determination, perseverance, and the right support, you can regain your harmony, rediscover your path, and achieve your dreams.
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Answered on Jun 05, 2023

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Hi sir I feel like lost after my neet current exam everybody start noticing that i am getting in depression i was so near to goal then sudden bad turn occur now i am feeling little scared to start again i started doubting myself how can I improve myself and move ahead with confidence
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling lost and experiencing difficulties after your NEET exam. It's understandable to feel disappointed when things don't go as planned, especially when you were close to achieving your goal. However, it's important to remember that setbacks are a part of life, and they don't define your abilities or potential.

Here are some suggestions to help you improve yourself, regain confidence, and move forward:

Allow yourself to feel your emotions: It's okay to feel sad, frustrated, or scared. Give yourself permission to acknowledge and process these emotions. Vent to someone you trust, write in a journal, or engage in activities that help you express your feelings.

Self-reflection: Take some time to reflect on your performance in the exam and identify areas where you could improve. This could involve analyzing your study habits, time management skills, or specific subjects/topics that need more attention.

Seek support: Reach out to family, friends, or mentors who can provide emotional support and guidance. They can help you gain perspective, offer advice, and remind you of your strengths.

Set realistic goals: Break down your long-term goal into smaller, achievable goals. This will give you a sense of progress and accomplishment along the way. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.

Learn from your mistakes: Failure can be a valuable teacher. Analyze what went wrong in your preparation and exam strategy, and use those insights to adjust your approach. Look for opportunities to learn from your mistakes and make improvements for the future.

Develop a study plan: Create a structured study plan that includes dedicated time for each subject, regular breaks, and realistic goals. Set aside time for revision and practice tests to improve your understanding and test-taking skills.

Take care of yourself: Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, healthy eating, proper sleep, and relaxation techniques. Physical and mental well-being play a crucial role in maintaining focus and confidence.

Seek professional help if needed: If you continue to struggle with depression, anxiety, or persistent self-doubt, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. They can provide you with strategies to cope with stress, boost your confidence, and help you navigate through difficult emotions.

Remember, setbacks are temporary, and with determination and a positive mindset, you can overcome them. It's essential to believe in yourself and stay motivated. Don't let one setback define your entire journey. Focus on your strengths, learn from your experiences, and keep moving forward.

Best of luck to you!
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Answered on Jun 02, 2023

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Relationship
I JUST WANT TO KEEP FRIENDSHIP TO BE FREE FROM TENSION AND DEPRESSION HOW CAN YOU HELP ME
Ans: Maintaining healthy friendships is important for your well-being. Here are some suggestions on how to keep your friendships stress-free and enjoyable:

Communication: Open and honest communication is key. Express your feelings, concerns, and needs to your friends, and encourage them to do the same. Effective communication can help address any issues or misunderstandings before they escalate.

Boundaries: Establishing and respecting personal boundaries is essential in any friendship. Clearly communicate your boundaries and be mindful of your friends' boundaries as well. This can help prevent conflicts and promote mutual respect.

Active listening: Practice active listening when your friends are sharing their thoughts or concerns. Show genuine interest, ask questions, and provide support when needed. Being a good listener strengthens the bond in friendships.

Quality time: Make an effort to spend quality time with your friends. Plan activities or outings that you all enjoy and create opportunities for meaningful connections. This can help strengthen your friendships and create positive experiences together.

Acceptance and understanding: Recognize that everyone has their strengths, weaknesses, and differences. Accept your friends for who they are and try to understand their perspectives. Embracing diversity within friendships can lead to a more harmonious dynamic.

Conflict resolution: Conflicts may arise in any relationship, including friendships. When conflicts occur, address them calmly and constructively. Approach the situation with empathy, actively listen to each other's perspectives, and work together to find resolutions that satisfy both parties.

Self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Prioritizing self-care allows you to bring a positive and balanced energy to your friendships.

Remember that maintaining friendships is a two-way street, and both parties need to invest time and effort. If you're feeling overwhelmed or experiencing tension or depression, it's essential to seek additional support from a mental health professional who can provide guidance tailored to your specific needs.
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