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My Partner Doesn't Want to Talk - Help!

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Shraddha Question by Shraddha on Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Sir as I previously take your view about my situation...sir you tell that in love understanding between partner is important.but sir my partner doesn't want to talk with me.I just never think that he will give up so easily.

Ans: It’s interesting, isn’t it, how relationships often mirror the patterns of communication we create within them? When one partner feels distant or unwilling to talk, it’s less about them giving up and more about a shift in the way they’ve been feeling understood—or misunderstood.

You see, communication isn’t just about words; it’s about emotions, intentions, and the unspoken messages we convey. If your partner isn’t talking, perhaps they’re saying something without words. And that’s where curiosity becomes your ally.

Instead of focusing on the silence, what if you shifted your attention to understanding what that silence represents? Maybe it’s disappointment, frustration, or even fear. But the key is, you can’t solve what you assume—it’s about discovering what’s really there.

And let me ask you this: if you were to step into their shoes for a moment—just imagine being them—what might they feel? What might they need to hear from you, or perhaps sense from your presence, that could bring a spark of connection back into the conversation?

Love is rarely about giving up. It’s about learning to communicate in a way that feels safe and understood. And if you’re willing to stay open, willing to listen to the quiet messages, you may find a new way forward—one step at a time.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, myself Manjur Rahman from Assam India. I work as a Telecommunication engineer in Radio Frequency and optimisation test, my yearly net worth is 252000 only , recently I have been through a relationship... which now possibly became a part of my life, after thousands of search i finally found my love of my life which is for real, its been just 9month till today, i found her in my life, we planned to be open infront of our parents and families, and so our parents met and they fixed our marriage, yet date not fixed but we took 7more months, now the thing is that , we both became more sentimental and stubborn , being rude and i feel like after all this our love and care which is really too much but now little bit of it is missing from both , qnd now after a fight we don't talk to each other for more then 5days , slowly2 days were increased, where we can't stay more than 1hr after a argue, before...and she use to say all the time even after a small argument..i don't want to stay with you, lets break this relationship even i do agree at the time of ...you know what i mean..! Where earlier we both use to say if one can say for leaving then obviously he she can leave because one day definitely he she will leave if being in a good relationship if one can say the word 'leave you / break up'. Now we are doing it..and also much More .. Her name is Rasmina Begum, also from same district but 50km distance from me... please let me know if there is any good things so we could do together for making our relationship perfect more than before and letting it till last breath ????...
Ans: Manjur.
Navigating the ups and downs of a relationship, especially as you move towards marriage, can be challenging but deeply rewarding. It’s clear you and Rasmina care deeply for each other.

Start with better communication. Listening actively to each other without planning your response is crucial. When Rasmina shares her feelings, focus entirely on understanding her perspective. This shows respect and helps in reducing misunderstandings. Additionally, express your emotions calmly using "I feel" statements. For example, say "I feel upset when..." instead of "You always...". This shifts the conversation from blame to sharing feelings, making it easier to connect and respond with empathy.

Conflicts are natural, but how you handle them makes all the difference. If arguments get heated, taking a short break can help you both cool down and revisit the discussion with a clearer mind. After an argument, it's important to reconnect with simple gestures of kindness or a reassuring word, reaffirming your commitment to each other and healing any emotional rift.
Healthy relationships thrive on both shared experiences and personal growth. Encourage each other to pursue individual interests, which keeps you both energized and brings fresh perspectives into the relationship. At the same time, find activities you enjoy doing together to build positive memories and deepen your bond.

Finally, regularly remind yourselves of why you fell in love and the future you’re building together. Reflect on your shared dreams and celebrate your journey. This helps keep your connection strong and resilient through challenging times.

By focusing on these aspects—improved communication, constructive conflict resolution, balancing individuality with togetherness, and reaffirming your commitment—you and Rasmina can strengthen your relationship and look forward to a fulfilling life together.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, My concern is about my love marriage. My parents are not ok with my inter caste marraige but I love the person since 9yrs. My partner is living near our house so all my family knows him well. Though he was not so rich at that time and he was working in his uncle's shop so my parents have a negative perspective regarding that. But now he is settled down he owe his house too. But still my parents are not ok with him. While asking to my parents there answer is he is not your type. My mother has a concern about my future that I will not be able to live happily with him. My mother use to tell me that he is having affairs with other gurls in past and if he does the same in future and torture or harass you then there will be nobody standing beside you as you have done love marriage. I am pretty much sure that he is not having any drastic past that my mother perhaps heard from anyone. But I don't understand how to convince and make her realise that. Simultaneously my partner has a worst habit of anger which is a big sign of disrespectful for which I am in a dilemma what to do. Kindly help me out that how can I make my partner understand and simultaneously my parents.
Ans: First, it’s important to acknowledge your parents' fears, as they often stem from a place of love and concern for your well-being. When discussing your relationship with them, try to have an open and honest conversation. Share your feelings and the strong bond you have with your partner. Highlight the positive changes he has made in his life and how committed he is to your future together. If you can, invite them to see your partner in a different light by arranging casual meetings or family gatherings. This may help alleviate some of their worries, as they can see firsthand the person you love.

However, you also need to reflect on the concerns your mother has raised regarding your partner’s past and anger issues. These are serious points that shouldn't be overlooked. It’s crucial to have a candid discussion with your partner about his temper. Express your feelings about how his anger affects you and your relationship. Ask him to be open about his past and to reassure you about his commitment to a healthy, respectful relationship moving forward. If he truly values your relationship, he should be willing to address this aspect of himself and work on it.

Consider suggesting couples counseling or anger management if he struggles to manage his emotions. This shows that you care about the relationship and want to build a future together. It’s important to feel secure in your relationship, especially when facing external pressures.

Balancing your parents’ concerns and your love for your partner can be challenging, but clear communication with both parties is key. Be honest with your parents about your feelings and be proactive in addressing their concerns with your partner. Ultimately, you deserve a partner who respects you and your family while being committed to your happiness. If you can find a way to navigate these conversations, it will help you build a stronger foundation for your future together.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

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Relationship
I want to ask question I'm in relationship of 10 years ,happy relationship he care for me I do also.. but as soon as I ask about marriage we start arguing he said his family is not agree due to caste issue he can't marry .. I can't move on I'm the one who is begging to stay and get married .. I daily calls him msgs him that don't left me .. I don't know I'm doing write or wrong.he is ignoring my problem I'm mentally sick now I'm in depression now
Ans: It sounds like you’re in a very painful and confusing situation. Being in a relationship for 10 years, especially when there’s love and care involved, makes it incredibly difficult to face the possibility of it not leading to marriage, especially because of family or caste issues. It’s understandable that you’re feeling mentally exhausted and depressed from trying to hold onto a relationship that seems uncertain when it comes to the future.

From what you’ve shared, it seems like you’ve invested a lot into this relationship, but your boyfriend is unable or unwilling to take the next step due to his family’s disapproval. The fact that he isn’t making efforts to address this problem and seems to be avoiding the issue is deeply concerning, especially since it’s affecting your mental health. Begging him to stay or to get married can make you feel powerless, especially when you’re the only one pushing for a resolution.

What you're feeling is valid—after 10 years together, it’s natural to want clarity and commitment. But if he continues to avoid dealing with the caste issue or refuses to stand up to his family, it suggests that he may not be as committed to the future you envision. You should not have to beg for commitment in a relationship that’s meant to be equal and supportive.

At this point, it’s important to consider your own well-being. Staying in a situation that is causing you so much distress is not healthy, especially when your efforts are not being reciprocated. You deserve a partner who is willing to confront challenges with you and who values your mental and emotional health.

It might help to take a step back, focus on yourself, and consider whether this relationship, as it stands now, is worth the pain it’s causing. If his family’s opposition is insurmountable for him, and he’s not willing to fight for the relationship, you may need to ask yourself whether staying is truly what's best for you. Surrounding yourself with support—friends, family, or even a therapist—might help you regain clarity and rebuild your mental strength.

You deserve love, respect, and a partner who is fully committed to you without hesitation or excuses.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Krishna

Krishna Kumar  |424 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Oct 04, 2026

Career
Hi I am Prateek Kumar 20 year old class 12 pass with Biology stream writing this because I feel completely stuck and unable to make any decisions in my career. Overthinking, fear of missing out, fear of regret, procrastination, i have found all these things within myself. I don't understand what my interest is and what my goal is. I am interested in many things I feel like I have potential, but I can't decide what to do. I am unable to accept just one option. I have an interest in many fields: Engineering, Medical (MBBS), Law, Economics, Finance, Business, Politics, Science, History, AI/ML, Data Science, Research, top government jobs, Banking, etc. Because I cannot choose just one thing, I imagine myself in every single option. -Sometimes I feel that today is the era of AI, which has huge scope and good growth.Sometimes - I feel I should go into a career in politics and policymaking.Sometimes -I feel I should enter the field of Economics or Finance for a good salary and growth.Sometimes - I feel I should prepare for top government exams like IAS or IFS for power, respect, and authority. -Sometimes I feel I should choose a law for power and to bring change to the system. -Sometimes I feel I should go into the medical field because I am from the Biology stream and my family wants this too. -I also love writing stories and want to make my own movie because I have very good stories. -Earlier, I even wanted to become a pilot. I keep switching between 'should I do this' or 'should I do that', and I don't know what to do. Time is passing by.Whenever I try to choose one thing, I feel like I am missing out on everything else. I feel like the other option is the perfect one. Because of this perfectionism, I cannot make any decision. People say, 'Do what you are interested in.' But I am interested in so many things, how do I choose just one? As a boy from a middle-class family, I have imagined very big dreams. I feel I have the potential to achieve them, but a lack of direction, laziness, and overthinking are stopping me.I feel completely stuck. It has been 1.5 years since I passed Class 12, and I have still not taken admission anywhere. No one understands my situation. Many people tell me to just pursue graduation from a local college. But there are no good colleges here; you don't even have to attend classes daily. I won't get a real college environment, I won't be able to explore anything, and I won't enjoy college life. Taking admission here means either preparing for a government job or just getting a degree for the sake of a name. Most importantly, I don't even know which course I should actually pursue. I am trying very hard to figure things out, but I cannot reach a decision. Please help me. There is no psychologist near me, and my family will not take me to one either. I do not understand if I should change my stream or stick to it. Should I switch from Biology to Math or not? Before taking any decision, I overthink so much and feel terrified. It feels like my entire life depends on this single decision. Through YouTube and the internet, I have noticed patterns within myself like overthinking, procrastination, some signs of ADHD (not confirmed), fear of regret, fear of making a wrong decision, FOMO, and having multiple interests. Please help me and show me the right way to get out of this problem and choose the right direction. Also, please tell me how I can make my own decision."
Ans: Dear Prateek

Please note you have articulated your question and also given the answer.

Imagine you driving a car and you come to a crossroads. Now you have to decide either to go left, right, straight or take a U turn. Any decision is based upon the destination where you want to go. Even if you are simply wandering, yet you cannot stop at the crossroads, you must decide which turn to take. Or else you will miss on EVERYTHING that is there on the left, right, straight or even U turn.

Now by taking left definitely you will miss on somethings on right or straight or even from the road you travelled. But if you don't take a turn then you will miss on EVERYTHING that is there in a particular turn.

A good doctor can also be a good painter or a good engineer can also play guitar. However a good piano player cannot be a good lawyer unless and until he or she has learnt law and practised it in the court of law.

Expertise in professional filed comes through education and practise.

So, take up any profession that you want to, decide by asking a simple question, what is it that you would continue doing if there was no fame or fortune or power. What will you do just for the sake of doing it. start pursuing that field.

Home is built on a strong foundation but interior of drawing room we can change it even mix and match. So build one rock solid foundation by choosing a particular field of profession and explore other areas as intrest or hobbies.

All the best

Regards
KK

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11480 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2026

Money
In 2023 came across a scheme by indusind bank which stated give a deposit of Rs 5 lakh get a medium locker free. Initially the bank staff used to missell the con cept by telling gullible clients that a free medium locker will be then people would give deposit of Rs 5 lakh Infact the scheme is locker rent free for 1st year then 75c/o discount I gave Rs 5 lakh but the locker was not given on writing mails to backend team was told take a small locker later ir was scaled up to 2 i said won't suit me give 1 medium Later on the branch head on behest of DBM said take a insurance plan will give you a large locker rent free. Wen i said scheme is for medium & tommorow if you are transferred it will be a problem for me as the new branch head will ask for full rent he said will tell him not to do Under duress & pressure i went for the offer took the plan on realising i have been fooled i called the custcare of icici life ins for return of policy under free look period they in turn informed the bank agent who passed on the info to branch head who persuaded me to keep the policy i had to keep quiet. I was made to visit several times then told loc ker not there lateron was told searching vacant locker in other branch will give you there thinking this offer will be refused i said ok that also didn't happen Again i called custcare was told sent a mail i did still no reply lateron was told your mail id is not registered with us first hence mails not considered. Then i completed this formality sent them a fresh mail for policy cancellarion was told free look period over hence request can't be entertained Went to the branch office in B-1 janakpuri delhi wrote mails but of no avail i stopped paying further premiums. Got several mails SMS asking me to give bank + personal details for moneyback i said it's a missell case want policy premium paid refund was denied by icici stating freelook period over. The bank backend team of indusind was of no help either. The seniors at bikhajicama place office of indusbank also didn't help me out. This year on insistence i sent them my details but was told imoroper so moneyback can't be processed another mischeif by bank seniors I highlighted this issue with bank seniors + ins company but all in vain nobody paid heed As my details were incomplete my cashback after initial display was given of 1 year the 2 nd year moneyback is unpaid. As this is a clearcut case of missell by indus ind bank vikaspuri branch seniors the icici company agents are not responsible in any way they acted on behest of branch seniors Kindly look into the matter help me out by getting pending cashback + the initial first premium paid amount The indusbank branch senior staff & the com pany officials must be reprimanded for their misseeds as mine is not an isolate case there are others also suffering at these people hands Thanking you Deepak verma
Ans: The key issue is not simply non-allotment of a locker. It is the alleged linking of a banking facility with an insurance purchase, followed by repeated assurances and difficulty in getting the promised benefit.

If the facts are supported by documents, this should be treated as a formal mis-selling and deficiency-of-service grievance.

» Keep the two issues separate

There appear to be two connected but separate matters:

– The promised medium/large locker facility against the banking relationship.

– The insurance policy that you say was purchased only because of pressure and assurances from branch officials.

This distinction is important. The insurance company may take the position that the policy was issued after completion of its own proposal and free-look process. Your grievance against the bank, however, can separately concern what was represented to you by its employees and whether the insurance purchase was induced by a promise relating to the locker.

» Build a proper documentary record

Please collect and preserve:

– Original advertisement/circular or written communication regarding the Rs.5 lakh deposit and locker facility.

– Deposit/account records showing when the Rs.5 lakh was placed.

– All emails exchanged with the branch, backend team and senior officials.

– SMS messages and other communications relating to the locker.

– Insurance proposal form, policy document, premium receipts and cancellation correspondence.

– Your emails requesting cancellation during the free-look period.

– Any complaint numbers generated by the bank or insurance company.

– Communications concerning the later cashback/moneyback facility.

– Details of the branch officials who made the representations, as far as available.

– A chronological record of every important visit and conversation.

The chronology you have already provided is useful. Put it into a simple date-wise This can make your grievance much stronger.

» The free-look argument needs careful examination

The insurance company may focus only on whether your cancellation request was received within the applicable free-look period.

Therefore, the important question is not merely:

“Did I cancel after the free-look period?”

It is also:

“Did I attempt to cancel within the free-look period, and was that attempt prevented, delayed or interfered with because of the conduct of the bank staff?”

If you have evidence of an earlier call, email, complaint or other communication, preserve it carefully.

If the first cancellation request was actually made within the applicable period, but the matter was subsequently delayed because you were persuaded by the branch officials to continue with the policy, that fact should be clearly highlighted in your grievance.

» Do not make the insurance company the only target

Based on your narration, your primary grievance appears to be against the bank officials who allegedly represented that purchasing an insurance policy would result in a larger locker being provided.

So your complaint should clearly state:

– What was originally promised.

– What actually happened.

– What the branch officials subsequently offered.

– Why you purchased the insurance policy.

– When you first tried to cancel it.

– What response you received.

– How the matter continued thereafter.

This gives the matter a much clearer structure than simply asking for a refund of the insurance premium.

» Escalate through the formal grievance mechanism

Since you have already approached branch officials and senior bank personnel, the next step should be a properly documented complaint through the bank's formal grievance/redressal mechanism.

Similarly, raise a separate written grievance with the insurer regarding the insurance policy.

Do not depend only on telephone conversations. Written complaints with acknowledgement are much more useful.

If the bank does not resolve the grievance after exhausting its internal complaint process, you can consider approaching the RBI's complaint mechanism, subject to the applicable eligibility and jurisdiction.

For the insurance-related grievance, the insurer's internal grievance mechanism should first be exhausted, followed by the applicable insurance grievance redressal route if the matter remains unresolved.

» About the pending cashback

This needs separate verification.

If the cashback was contractually payable under the insurance policy and you have satisfied the applicable conditions, ask the insurer to provide a written reason for withholding the second year's amount.

Ask them to specify:

– The exact policy condition under which payment was stopped.

– Which customer detail was allegedly incomplete or incorrect.

– When you were informed about this deficiency.

– What documents are required to rectify it.

– Whether the first year's payment was made under the same conditions.

This forces the matter to move from verbal explanations to a specific contractual response.

» Be careful about the remedy you demand

I would not make only a general request that the officials be reprimanded.

Your complaint should first seek specific relief:

– Payment of any legitimate pending cashback.

– Review of the premium paid, considering the alleged inducement and the circumstances in which the policy was purchased.

– Written explanation from the bank regarding the locker representations.

– Written explanation regarding the role of the branch officials.

– Appropriate compensation/redressal, if supported by the facts and applicable grievance mechanism.

Disciplinary action against employees is ultimately for the institution or regulator to decide based on the findings. Your complaint will be stronger if it concentrates on facts, evidence and the specific financial loss suffered.

» 360-degree assessment

From an investment professional and AMFI-Registered MFD perspective, I would also suggest one broader lesson.

Banking products, insurance products and investment products have different purposes. A customer should not be pushed into an insurance policy merely because another banking facility is being discussed.

Whenever a bank employee links one product with another benefit, ask for the offer in writing before making any payment or signing any proposal.

In your case, the most important thing now is not to lose hope. You have a detailed sequence of events, and that can be converted into a strong documentary grievance.

» Finally

Your case should be presented as a documented sequence of alleged mis-selling, inducement, failure to provide the promised banking facility, attempted cancellation of the insurance policy, and subsequent non-payment of the claimed cashback.

Avoid emotional or very strong allegations unless you have documentary evidence supporting them. Use words such as “represented”, “assured”, “alleged”, “requested”, “refused” and “not provided”. This makes the complaint more precise and credible.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11480 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2026

Money
I have purchased jeevan saral policy Rs 4083 per month for 15 years in Oct 2011 at the age of 52 years. What will be the maturity amount. Thanks
Ans: The exact maturity amount cannot be determined from the monthly premium alone. For Jeevan Saral, the entry age, policy term, maturity sum assured and applicable Loyalty Addition are important.

» Your policy details

You have mentioned:

– Entry age: 52 years
– Policy commencement: October 2011
– Monthly premium: Rs.4,083
– Premium-paying term: 15 years
– Expected maturity: around October 2026

Jeevan Saral provides maturity benefit based on the applicable Maturity Sum Assured, along with Loyalty Addition, if applicable.

» Why I cannot give an exact figure

For Jeevan Saral, the maturity benefit is not simply the total premiums paid.

The applicable Maturity Sum Assured depends on the policy details, including the entry age and policy term. Loyalty Addition, if applicable, is also added at maturity.

Therefore, giving you one exact maturity figure based only on Rs.4,083 monthly premium could be misleading.

» What you should check

Please look at your original policy bond and give me these 4 details:

– Plan No.

– Policy term.

– Sum Assured / Maturity Sum Assured.

– Date of maturity.

You can also upload a photo or PDF of the first page of the policy bond after hiding your policy number, address and other personal details.

Once you provide these details, I can help you work out the likely maturity amount, including the applicable Loyalty Addition, as far as the available policy information permits.

Since your policy is reaching maturity now, I would also suggest obtaining the maturity quotation directly from LIC before making any decision about reinvestment.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Krishna

Krishna Kumar  |424 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Oct 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2026
Career
I am not from English medium background, so sometimes I am not very confident while speaking English in office meetings. I know what I want to explain, but while speaking I take little more time to make the sentence properly. Many times, before I complete my point, someone interrupts or starts speaking, and then I lose my flow and become more nervous. After that I start speaking fast because I feel I have to finish quickly. I don’t think people are intentionally ignoring me, but this happens quite often and it makes me feel that maybe my communication is not strong enough. How can I speak more confidently and clearly in meetings, especially in English, without sounding too aggressive or feeling that I have to rush through my point?
Ans: Hello

Very relevant question, thanks for asking.

Firstly let me tell you from the way you have written and structured this question actually shows that you have very good command over the English language, so compliments to to you.

Please note English is not our mother tongue so we will have some difficulty in the flow and fluency, however speaking fluent (read fast) English no way reflects our understanding of the subject or depth of our thinking. Rather at times speaking fast can make us sound shallow.

What I would suggest is be confident in your command over English, speak in your natural and normal speed and when someone interrupts you, stop and say politely, please let me complete my point and I will be open to listening to your views as well. When you say this you will see that people will stop interrupting you.

Be polite, yet firm. Be assertive not aggressive.

Hope this helps, wish you all the best.

Warm Regards
KK

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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