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My Partner Doesn't Want to Talk - Help!

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Shraddha Question by Shraddha on Dec 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Sir as I previously take your view about my situation...sir you tell that in love understanding between partner is important.but sir my partner doesn't want to talk with me.I just never think that he will give up so easily.

Ans: It’s interesting, isn’t it, how relationships often mirror the patterns of communication we create within them? When one partner feels distant or unwilling to talk, it’s less about them giving up and more about a shift in the way they’ve been feeling understood—or misunderstood.

You see, communication isn’t just about words; it’s about emotions, intentions, and the unspoken messages we convey. If your partner isn’t talking, perhaps they’re saying something without words. And that’s where curiosity becomes your ally.

Instead of focusing on the silence, what if you shifted your attention to understanding what that silence represents? Maybe it’s disappointment, frustration, or even fear. But the key is, you can’t solve what you assume—it’s about discovering what’s really there.

And let me ask you this: if you were to step into their shoes for a moment—just imagine being them—what might they feel? What might they need to hear from you, or perhaps sense from your presence, that could bring a spark of connection back into the conversation?

Love is rarely about giving up. It’s about learning to communicate in a way that feels safe and understood. And if you’re willing to stay open, willing to listen to the quiet messages, you may find a new way forward—one step at a time.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

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Hi, myself Manjur Rahman from Assam India. I work as a Telecommunication engineer in Radio Frequency and optimisation test, my yearly net worth is 252000 only , recently I have been through a relationship... which now possibly became a part of my life, after thousands of search i finally found my love of my life which is for real, its been just 9month till today, i found her in my life, we planned to be open infront of our parents and families, and so our parents met and they fixed our marriage, yet date not fixed but we took 7more months, now the thing is that , we both became more sentimental and stubborn , being rude and i feel like after all this our love and care which is really too much but now little bit of it is missing from both , qnd now after a fight we don't talk to each other for more then 5days , slowly2 days were increased, where we can't stay more than 1hr after a argue, before...and she use to say all the time even after a small argument..i don't want to stay with you, lets break this relationship even i do agree at the time of ...you know what i mean..! Where earlier we both use to say if one can say for leaving then obviously he she can leave because one day definitely he she will leave if being in a good relationship if one can say the word 'leave you / break up'. Now we are doing it..and also much More .. Her name is Rasmina Begum, also from same district but 50km distance from me... please let me know if there is any good things so we could do together for making our relationship perfect more than before and letting it till last breath ????...
Ans: Manjur.
Navigating the ups and downs of a relationship, especially as you move towards marriage, can be challenging but deeply rewarding. It’s clear you and Rasmina care deeply for each other.

Start with better communication. Listening actively to each other without planning your response is crucial. When Rasmina shares her feelings, focus entirely on understanding her perspective. This shows respect and helps in reducing misunderstandings. Additionally, express your emotions calmly using "I feel" statements. For example, say "I feel upset when..." instead of "You always...". This shifts the conversation from blame to sharing feelings, making it easier to connect and respond with empathy.

Conflicts are natural, but how you handle them makes all the difference. If arguments get heated, taking a short break can help you both cool down and revisit the discussion with a clearer mind. After an argument, it's important to reconnect with simple gestures of kindness or a reassuring word, reaffirming your commitment to each other and healing any emotional rift.
Healthy relationships thrive on both shared experiences and personal growth. Encourage each other to pursue individual interests, which keeps you both energized and brings fresh perspectives into the relationship. At the same time, find activities you enjoy doing together to build positive memories and deepen your bond.

Finally, regularly remind yourselves of why you fell in love and the future you’re building together. Reflect on your shared dreams and celebrate your journey. This helps keep your connection strong and resilient through challenging times.

By focusing on these aspects—improved communication, constructive conflict resolution, balancing individuality with togetherness, and reaffirming your commitment—you and Rasmina can strengthen your relationship and look forward to a fulfilling life together.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
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Hello Mam, My concern is about my love marriage. My parents are not ok with my inter caste marraige but I love the person since 9yrs. My partner is living near our house so all my family knows him well. Though he was not so rich at that time and he was working in his uncle's shop so my parents have a negative perspective regarding that. But now he is settled down he owe his house too. But still my parents are not ok with him. While asking to my parents there answer is he is not your type. My mother has a concern about my future that I will not be able to live happily with him. My mother use to tell me that he is having affairs with other gurls in past and if he does the same in future and torture or harass you then there will be nobody standing beside you as you have done love marriage. I am pretty much sure that he is not having any drastic past that my mother perhaps heard from anyone. But I don't understand how to convince and make her realise that. Simultaneously my partner has a worst habit of anger which is a big sign of disrespectful for which I am in a dilemma what to do. Kindly help me out that how can I make my partner understand and simultaneously my parents.
Ans: First, it’s important to acknowledge your parents' fears, as they often stem from a place of love and concern for your well-being. When discussing your relationship with them, try to have an open and honest conversation. Share your feelings and the strong bond you have with your partner. Highlight the positive changes he has made in his life and how committed he is to your future together. If you can, invite them to see your partner in a different light by arranging casual meetings or family gatherings. This may help alleviate some of their worries, as they can see firsthand the person you love.

However, you also need to reflect on the concerns your mother has raised regarding your partner’s past and anger issues. These are serious points that shouldn't be overlooked. It’s crucial to have a candid discussion with your partner about his temper. Express your feelings about how his anger affects you and your relationship. Ask him to be open about his past and to reassure you about his commitment to a healthy, respectful relationship moving forward. If he truly values your relationship, he should be willing to address this aspect of himself and work on it.

Consider suggesting couples counseling or anger management if he struggles to manage his emotions. This shows that you care about the relationship and want to build a future together. It’s important to feel secure in your relationship, especially when facing external pressures.

Balancing your parents’ concerns and your love for your partner can be challenging, but clear communication with both parties is key. Be honest with your parents about your feelings and be proactive in addressing their concerns with your partner. Ultimately, you deserve a partner who respects you and your family while being committed to your happiness. If you can find a way to navigate these conversations, it will help you build a stronger foundation for your future together.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 16, 2024

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Relationship
I want to ask question I'm in relationship of 10 years ,happy relationship he care for me I do also.. but as soon as I ask about marriage we start arguing he said his family is not agree due to caste issue he can't marry .. I can't move on I'm the one who is begging to stay and get married .. I daily calls him msgs him that don't left me .. I don't know I'm doing write or wrong.he is ignoring my problem I'm mentally sick now I'm in depression now
Ans: It sounds like you’re in a very painful and confusing situation. Being in a relationship for 10 years, especially when there’s love and care involved, makes it incredibly difficult to face the possibility of it not leading to marriage, especially because of family or caste issues. It’s understandable that you’re feeling mentally exhausted and depressed from trying to hold onto a relationship that seems uncertain when it comes to the future.

From what you’ve shared, it seems like you’ve invested a lot into this relationship, but your boyfriend is unable or unwilling to take the next step due to his family’s disapproval. The fact that he isn’t making efforts to address this problem and seems to be avoiding the issue is deeply concerning, especially since it’s affecting your mental health. Begging him to stay or to get married can make you feel powerless, especially when you’re the only one pushing for a resolution.

What you're feeling is valid—after 10 years together, it’s natural to want clarity and commitment. But if he continues to avoid dealing with the caste issue or refuses to stand up to his family, it suggests that he may not be as committed to the future you envision. You should not have to beg for commitment in a relationship that’s meant to be equal and supportive.

At this point, it’s important to consider your own well-being. Staying in a situation that is causing you so much distress is not healthy, especially when your efforts are not being reciprocated. You deserve a partner who is willing to confront challenges with you and who values your mental and emotional health.

It might help to take a step back, focus on yourself, and consider whether this relationship, as it stands now, is worth the pain it’s causing. If his family’s opposition is insurmountable for him, and he’s not willing to fight for the relationship, you may need to ask yourself whether staying is truly what's best for you. Surrounding yourself with support—friends, family, or even a therapist—might help you regain clarity and rebuild your mental strength.

You deserve love, respect, and a partner who is fully committed to you without hesitation or excuses.

..Read more

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My daughter has completed Btech -Architecture in India from Nagpur in year 2023 and later she went from Krishna consultancy for overseas education in Canada, where she has completed 2 years education to get 3 year PR in 2+3 year pattern. she has completed one year project management and one year education in land scape designing. Now she is searching for job almost 2 years but jobs are not available in respective field. now she is learning french for to get PR points etc. Learn and earn sideway job she is doing. Can you suggest any authentic job consultancy so that she can register. she has already registered in indeed, linked in etc, but in vain. Its very pity that we educate for good cause and they do not get job. She was also topper in subjects and received testimonials from Contesta university in Canada. What should be approach. what advise you can give us. can you help to provide any construction and architecture genuine job site. Because where she apply , that all displayed jobs are fake either or no response , only they collect Resumes.
Ans: I understand your frustration—it's disheartening when a talented graduate like your daughter, with her BTech Architecture, Project Management, Landscape Design credentials, and Contesta University testimonials, faces job hurdles despite PR status and French learning efforts. Kindly encourage her to: 1) Optimize/fully utilise LinkedIn daily—connect with Canadian architects/recruiters, join AEC immigrant groups; 2) Register with specialized recruiters: AXIS Recruitment, BCCA Newcomers, Job Bank Canada (NOC 21201); 3) Create a Canadian-format resume highlighting PR status, university topper awards, and testimonials; 4) Target junior drafter roles (more openings) rather than senior architect positions; 5) Network through French classes and learn-and-earn contacts for referrals. Consider India backup options while maintaining PR residency obligations. All the BEST for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11055 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 05, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 05, 2026Hindi
Money
Hello Experts, I am working in GCC. I have taken 30L @ 9.45% floating ROI Home Loan from DHFL (now Piramal Finance) in March 2015 for 15 yrs (till 2030). But due to fluctuation/instability in Market my Home Loan gradually rose upto 12.22% at present March 2026. Now due to this increase to ROI now last EMI due went upto 2032. Whenever I visited to India, I thought switch over my Home Loan to other Banking or Non-banking company. But due to something or other reason it never happened. So now almost 6+ years are left to complete my Home Loan. So in this case Pls suggest, now is it worth switching to other Banking or Non-banking company, considering all the fees and charges pending 18L. (foreclosure, documentation, etc.)
Ans: You have been servicing your home loan for more than 10 years. That shows strong repayment discipline. Now interest rate has increased and tenure extended. So reviewing it is a wise step.

Let us analyse calmly.

» Current Situation

– Loan taken: Rs 30 lakhs in 2015
– Current outstanding: Around Rs 18 lakhs
– Current ROI: 12.22% (floating)
– Tenure extended till 2032
– Around 6+ years left

12.22% is high in today’s market for a home loan.

» Why Your EMI Increased

When interest rate rises:

– Either EMI increases
– Or tenure increases
– Or both

In your case, tenure has increased. That means you will pay more total interest.

At 12%+ rate, interest burden becomes heavy.

» Should You Switch Now?

Yes, you should seriously evaluate switching.

Even though only 6 years are left, still:

– Outstanding is Rs 18 lakhs
– Rate difference may be 1% to 2%
– That can reduce total interest meaningfully

If another bank offers around 8.5% to 9%, difference is large.

» What To Check Before Switching

Do not switch blindly. Check these:

– Foreclosure charges (for floating loans usually zero, but confirm)
– Processing fee in new bank
– Legal and valuation charges
– Documentation charges
– Insurance cancellation impact if any

If total switching cost is reasonable and rate difference is above 1%, switching makes sense.

» Break-Even Thinking

Ask yourself:

– How much total interest will I save after switching?
– Is that higher than total transfer cost?

If savings clearly exceed costs, then shift.

If savings are very small, then not worth the effort.

» Alternative Option – Negotiate First

Before switching, try this:

– Write officially to existing lender
– Request rate reduction
– Mention competitor rates
– Ask for internal rate revision

Sometimes banks reduce rate by charging small conversion fee. That is easier than full transfer.

» Since You Are Working in GCC

Being NRI:

– Documentation may take more time
– Power of attorney may be needed
– Some banks may offer better NRI loan packages

Plan visit properly if switching.

» Cash Flow Strategy

Also consider:

– If you have surplus savings, partial prepayment is powerful
– Prepaying Rs 2–3 lakhs can reduce tenure sharply
– Floating loans usually have no prepayment penalty

If you combine rate reduction + part prepayment, loan can close faster.

» Emotional and Financial Angle

At this stage:

– Only 6 years left
– Goal should be to close loan peacefully
– Not to stretch till 2032

Loan-free life before retirement is ideal.

» Final Insights

Your present rate of 12.22% is high. Do not ignore it.

Action plan:

– First negotiate with current lender
– If not reduced properly, compare with 2–3 banks
– Calculate total switching cost
– Switch if net savings are meaningful
– Consider part prepayment if possible

With disciplined action now, you can close loan earlier and save interest.

Delay will only increase interest outgo.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Pankaj

Pankaj Vyavahare  |18 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor, Life Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 04, 2026Hindi
Career
My Daughter is in 12th currently and has completed her 1st Jee attempt and has scored 78.82 she will be attending the 2nd attempt in April. I want her to do well in her CBSE boards and join a good college in Bangalore where we reside taking the subject of her choice. However she is bent upon taking a drop this year which we feel is not a good idea considering her 1st attempt scores. She says she is willing to join any college even after taking a drop and if she is not able to score well which I feel is wasting 1 years of her academics. Kindly advise or suggest what is right for her please.
Ans: Namaste
First of all I must appreciate your thought of not wasting 1 years through Gap/Drop. Its absolutely meaningless and even creates future bad consequences for abroad education or opportunity. We are not in a position to justify our gap. Anyhow you have mentioned her JEE 1st attempt result. It shows that either her study is moderate in PCM subjects or she can make her career in remaining 16 career clusters. If it was 95 and above in her 1st attempt, she could make more good in her 2nd JEE attempt.
It will be better if she thinks twice about her passion and abilities. It’s high time to think and take decision. She can take admission in other than IIT/NIT institutes. There are many good colleges in Banglore too.
Not every one become engineer. But everyone can see his/her inner strength, passion for something better required by world. We can work for betterment of the world, throgh what we have good amount with us. Please find that"Good One"

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11055 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 05, 2026

Money
I hv a lic jeevan suraksha policy which started in 2001 and ended in 2006. I am 78 years. Should I surrender or keep it till I am alive.
Ans: You have maintained a policy from 2001. That shows discipline. At age 78, the focus should now be income stability, simplicity, and peace of mind.

Let us understand this clearly.

» Understanding Your Policy Status

– Policy started in 2001
– Premium payment ended in 2006
– Now you are 78 years

So this is a fully paid-up policy. You are not paying anything now.

Main question is:
Does it give regular income?
Or does it give only maturity or death benefit?

This clarity is very important before deciding.

» If It Is Giving Lifetime Pension

If the policy is giving you regular pension income:

– Continue it
– Do not surrender
– At 78, guaranteed income is valuable
– Market-linked reinvestment may not be suitable

Because at this age, capital safety is more important than return.

» If It Is Only Giving Lump Sum on Death

If it is only a small death benefit and no income:

– Check surrender value
– Compare surrender value with death benefit

At 78, insurance need is almost zero. Your dependents may not need life cover now.

In such case:

– If surrender value is reasonable, you may consider surrender
– Amount can be moved to safe income generating instrument
– Keep liquidity for medical and personal expenses

» Important Questions to Ask LIC

Before taking decision, confirm:

– What is current surrender value?
– What is paid-up sum assured?
– Any bonuses accumulated?
– What is death benefit amount?

Take a written statement.

» Health and Liquidity Consideration

At 78:

– Medical expenses can increase suddenly
– Emergency liquidity is very important
– Keep money easily accessible

Do not lock money unnecessarily.

» Emotional Aspect

Many people keep old policies because of emotional attachment. That is natural.

But decision should be practical:

– Is it serving purpose?
– Is it giving meaningful income?
– Or is it just lying idle?

» Final Insights

If policy is giving steady lifetime pension, continue peacefully.

If it is only small death cover with low benefit, surrender and move funds into:

– Bank fixed deposits
– Short-term debt mutual funds
– Senior citizen savings schemes

At this stage of life, simplicity and liquidity matter more than return.

You have already built assets over many years. Now the goal is protection and comfort.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11055 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 05, 2026

Money
Dear Sir, I (aged 60 yrs) have a Plan for my daughter marriage during June 2027. I have various mutual funds under the category of Small, Mid, Large and Agg Hybrids, Thematics which have a decent as well as moderate returns. How & When to Plan to withdraw Rs 25 lacs safely from them and kept for marriage time and Where to park it to get further helathy returns upto that period? Help me for the roadmap to withdraw and kept safely. Thqs in adv for the reply.
Ans: You have planned in advance for your daughter’s marriage. That shows responsibility and clarity. At age 60, protecting capital is more important than chasing return. Now your focus must be safety first, growth next.

June 2027 is not very far. So we must reduce risk step by step.

» Understanding the Time Frame

– Today to June 2027 is roughly around 1.5 to 2 years
– This is short-term period
– Equity markets can be volatile in this time

Since the goal date is fixed, we cannot take risk of market fall just before marriage.

» Risk in Your Current Portfolio

You mentioned:

– Small cap funds
– Mid cap funds
– Large cap funds
– Aggressive hybrid funds
– Thematic funds

Small cap and thematic funds are highly volatile. Even mid cap can fall sharply in short period.

If market corrects 20% to 30%, your marriage corpus may get disturbed. That risk is not acceptable now.

» When to Start Withdrawal

Do not wait till 2027.

Start systematic withdrawal planning from now itself.

Roadmap:

– Immediately identify the funds which have highest volatility (small cap, thematic)
– Start redeeming them first
– Gradually shift large cap and hybrid funds also

Complete full shifting at least 9 to 12 months before marriage.

By mid 2026, the full Rs 25 lakhs should be in safe instruments.

» How to Withdraw Smartly

– Redeem in phased manner over next 6 to 9 months
– Avoid withdrawing entire amount in one day
– Use market rallies to redeem

Also keep taxation in mind:

– Equity LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Equity STCG taxed at 20%

Plan redemption in such a way that tax impact is controlled. Spread across financial years if needed.

» Where to Park the Money Safely

Since goal is short term, safety is priority.

Suitable parking options:

– Short duration debt mutual funds
– Money market funds
– Bank fixed deposits (laddered maturity)
– Senior citizen savings schemes (if liquidity allows)

Debt mutual funds are more flexible than FD. But remember:

– Debt fund gains taxed as per your income slab

So if your tax slab is high, compare with FD post-tax return before deciding.

» Should You Continue in Equity Till 2027?

No.

Equity is good for long-term wealth. But for fixed event like marriage, equity is risky.

Marriage date will not change based on market condition. So capital protection is key.

» Liquidity Planning

– Keep at least 3 to 6 months of marriage expenses in savings account by early 2027
– Keep rest in short-term instrument maturing near wedding date

This avoids last minute stress.

» 360 Degree Check

Apart from marriage fund, ensure:

– Emergency fund separate and untouched
– Health insurance adequate at age 60
– Retirement corpus not disturbed for marriage

Very important point:
Do not compromise your retirement comfort for one-time event.

Children’s marriage is important. But your lifetime income security is more important.

» Finally

Your action plan should be:

– Start gradual redemption now
– Exit high-risk funds first
– Move full Rs 25 lakhs to safe instruments by mid 2026
– Focus on capital protection, not high return
– Keep liquidity ready before event

If executed properly, you will attend your daughter’s marriage peacefully, without worrying about market conditions.

That peace of mind is more valuable than extra return.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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