My Partner Doesn't Want to Talk - Help!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

The best way to overcome this problem is open and honest discussions about the same. Tell your partner directly but politely that you have been feeling a lack of communication in your relationship. Let them know that it has been bothering you for a while. Your partner might understand your concerns and work on bettering their communication style, or they might not get or share your feelings. Either way, you must convey your worries. If things go south, you have to accept that this relationship would not have worked in the longer run; nothing works smoothly without proper communication, especially when two people's communication style is poles apart. Whatever the consequence, you have to have the talk.

Having said it all, let me add that sharing every minute detail of your life is not proper communication either. Some parts can be, rather, should be kept to yourself. It will keep you from finding your relationship mundane. A little air of mystery is always good in a long-term relationship.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Where did you partner go? Were the two of you on a break? What actually led him to behave this way?

It does feel unsettling when your partner or a loved one is passive aggressive and keeps repeating the same behaviour over and over again.
Even if it's a fight or argument that led to this, you really should assertively ask him: "What exactly has made you leave, come back, become silent and keep doing this over? It makes me feel uncertain and unsettling. Can we sit down and talk about this?"

Clear communication can set a lot of things right...

All the best!

Ans: It sounds like you’re in a very painful and confusing situation. Being in a relationship for 10 years, especially when there’s love and care involved, makes it incredibly difficult to face the possibility of it not leading to marriage, especially because of family or caste issues. It’s understandable that you’re feeling mentally exhausted and depressed from trying to hold onto a relationship that seems uncertain when it comes to the future.

From what you’ve shared, it seems like you’ve invested a lot into this relationship, but your boyfriend is unable or unwilling to take the next step due to his family’s disapproval. The fact that he isn’t making efforts to address this problem and seems to be avoiding the issue is deeply concerning, especially since it’s affecting your mental health. Begging him to stay or to get married can make you feel powerless, especially when you’re the only one pushing for a resolution.

What you're feeling is valid—after 10 years together, it’s natural to want clarity and commitment. But if he continues to avoid dealing with the caste issue or refuses to stand up to his family, it suggests that he may not be as committed to the future you envision. You should not have to beg for commitment in a relationship that’s meant to be equal and supportive.

At this point, it’s important to consider your own well-being. Staying in a situation that is causing you so much distress is not healthy, especially when your efforts are not being reciprocated. You deserve a partner who is willing to confront challenges with you and who values your mental and emotional health.

It might help to take a step back, focus on yourself, and consider whether this relationship, as it stands now, is worth the pain it’s causing. If his family’s opposition is insurmountable for him, and he’s not willing to fight for the relationship, you may need to ask yourself whether staying is truly what's best for you. Surrounding yourself with support—friends, family, or even a therapist—might help you regain clarity and rebuild your mental strength.

You deserve love, respect, and a partner who is fully committed to you without hesitation or excuses.