Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Teenage son won't talk to me: Is it normal?

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 05, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Dear Dr Ashish, How do I get my 14 year old teenage son to talk to me? He talks less, is either angry or grumpy and rarely discusses anything at home with anyone. Is this behaviour normal? He used to be a talkative child when he was younger. How can I help?

Ans: Let me reassure you that you’re not alone in facing this challenge, and what you describe is quite common in teenagers. The teenage years are a time of immense internal transformation. It's as if your son is building a new version of himself, one brick at a time, and sometimes, in that process, he may feel the need to pull away to figure things out.

You see, as children grow, their world expands. Their focus shifts from being family-centered to exploring who they are in the larger world. This doesn't mean he cares any less about you; it simply means he’s working on something deep within himself—maybe even trying to understand emotions and situations he doesn’t yet have the words for.

Now, instead of trying to make him talk, which might feel like pressure to him, consider this: how can you create an environment where he wants to open up? Imagine if, instead of asking direct questions or expressing concern, you shared a small, non-threatening piece of your world. Maybe a funny story about your day or a memory of when you were his age. Sometimes, starting with something light gives him permission to engage without feeling interrogated.

Another way to open doors is through shared experiences. Teenagers often speak more freely when they're not face-to-face. Maybe a walk or a ride, cooking a meal together, or even playing a video game could become moments where he feels comfortable talking.

And when he does speak, no matter how small the opening, meet him with curiosity, not judgment. If he shares something, reflect it back to him in a way that says, "I hear you, and I value what you're saying." For example, if he mentions feeling frustrated, you could say, "It sounds like something’s been tough for you lately," rather than jumping to advice.

Finally, remind yourself—and him—this is a phase, not a permanent state. He is still that talkative child deep inside, but right now, he's learning to balance his need for independence with the safety of your love. Your steady presence, even when he seems distant, will be his anchor.

You’re already asking the right question, and that shows how much you care. Trust the process, and trust your connection. It’s still there, even in the quiet moments.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 13, 2023

Latest Questions
Shalini

Shalini Singh  |171 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Sep 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi, I am 32M. I never had any relationships in the past...One sided was there but I overcame it and focused on my work. One day in gym i came across a girl 23F, we connected on insta and started chatting. Eventually we fell in love, I know this doesn’t sound good due to the age gap. We dated, had good times and emotionally connected with each other a lot. Now while discussing something, she revealed that she is not a virgin. There was a guy in her society she met around 3 years back (when she was 19) and she was in one sided love with him. They never confessed their love to each other. And she is not in touch with him anymore it was long back. Also she said she had made out with another guy whom she met 1 month back during her classes, prior to meeting me. I was really hurt to listen all these. Like how all these things she is doing at this age. I accepted her and then we had good 2 months again. After 2 months, I got to know she was following the first guy on insta. When confronted she said she used to like to see him and his girlfriend together. She was really not in touch with the guy but she was just following him. It was hurtful to me. We had a big fight on this. They used to share intimate pics with each other too. After forcing her to tell everything about her past, she told that she used to flirt with lot of boys. First in junior college with best friend she shared intimate pics, then met with the guy she lost virginity with, then she met another friend she shared pics with. Then in last year, in classes she shared pics with friend, then again with someone and then she had a crush on some guy with whom she made out. She was connected with them on insta. Like no talks but she was following them and they followed her too. There were almost 6-7 guys she used to talk as friend and has shared intimate pics and she called it flirting. I was shocked to hear all these. I am still shocked. This is out of my mind. It is very difficult to accept that few boys have intimate pics of my girlfriend. She has been very very loyal to me since we are together. She never got this kind of love in her life. She is really super happy in this relationship. We are emotionally connected a lot. I have treated her like a child and I love her a lot. She comes from a good family. She says she has been in wrong circle and all her friends are like this only. She cried a lot and she regrets it deeply like what she has done and she wants to get out of all these. But if feel, a persons character never changes. There will be so cold moments in relationships In future, will she be able to manage herself and stay honest. I really doubt a lot. She is really good at heart like a family girl but her past is really really terrible I feel. I feel, even though I love her will I be able to accept her past. Do I deserve this ? Do my family deserve this ? But again I think of risking it all because she is really invested in this relationship and I feel very bad to break her heart. I come from a very traditional background and believe in sacred and pure form of love. But I feel I got trapped in something which I can’t leave and can’t have whole heartedly. I am not able to focus on my work and everything. It’s hurting me a lot. Should I accept her ac she is or moving on will be better for both of us, even though it might break her heart.
Ans: Why are you thinking about the past, doing so you are messing up your now.
If you trust the person then do so 100% - let it not be half-baked.
Wishing you the best.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10720 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Sep 02, 2025

Career
Hello sir.... I wanted to pursue ba/bsc psychology from a rci approved college but I don't have any clearity that what should be right. Since I have passed 12th in this year only I have given my cuet but my marks where not that good to get into any college I have filled the form of Calcutta University where I can get addmission through my 12th marks that is 72% overall but I didn't get into any as I'm from general category and cut offs are high.. mop up rounds are still yet to happen. But I talked there.. there are barely some colleges which are serious about teaching psychology and I don't think I can get into some good college that's why I'm thinking to take a drop I don't want to still and abhi bhi looking for some colleges which maybe have seat vacant so that I can try to get into that.. i don't have any clarity regarding which is good govt college because I can't afford private colleges whose fees is that high for pursuing psycology if I'm taking a gap year
Ans: Ayushi, With 72% in Class XII, you meet eligibility for most RCI-approved undergraduate psychology programs, which typically require 50–55% in PCM/Science or Humanities and English proficiency. The Rehabilitation Council of India (RCI) mandates that psychology graduates from approved institutions can register as professionals, so ensure the college holds RCI recognition or operates under a parent university with RCI-approved syllabi.

In West Bengal, government options are limited. The closely watched University of Calcutta offers a three-year BA Psychology through its morning shift at Ashutosh College and evening shift at Surendranath College with cutoffs often around 80% in general category. Vacancy rounds sometimes dip to 70–72%, so mop-up rounds could open seats. Rabindra Bharati University provides BA Psychology via merit; its cutoff hovers near 75%. Vidyasagar University in Midnapore and North Bengal University at Jalpaiguri offer BSc Psychology with lower cutoffs (65–70%), making them accessible.

Government colleges in Northern India include University of Delhi’s Cluster Innovation Centre and Gargi College, both offering BA Psychology admissions purely on Class XII marks. Their cutoffs range from 85–90%, so direct admission is unlikely at 72%, though invitation to waitlists in niche sections (e.g., evening courses) can occur. Banaras Hindu University’s BSc Psychology has a 70–75% cutoff in mop-up rounds. Panjab University (Chandigarh) and Punjab University (Patiala) allow 65–70% entries in BSc Psychology programs. University of Lucknow and Aligarh Muslim University also admit on board marks, often requiring 70–75%.

Affordable private institutions in West Bengal with RCI-approved curricula include St. Xavier’s College, Kolkata, which conducts its own merit list and lowers cutoffs to 72% in later rounds. Presidency University also admits psychology undergraduates through its merit list. In North India, Christ University (Bengaluru campus) and Amity University offer scholarships to board-mark entrants drops seats for those without CUET scores, but fees remain higher. DAV College, Chandigarh, and Maitreyi College, Delhi, provide BA Psychology at moderate fees (?30,000–40,000 per year) based on 12th marks.

Practical Roadmap and Solutions
Track Mop-Up Rounds and Merit Lists: Immediately monitor UC, Rabindra Bharati, Presidency, and St. Xavier’s websites daily for vacancies. Prepare scanned documents for swift online submission.

Apply to Multiple Institutes: Simultaneously apply to Vidyasagar University, North Bengal University, BHU, Panjab University, and Lucknow University in their ongoing merit-based admission windows. Their lower cutoffs increase chances.

Secure Waiting-List Positions: For high-demand colleges like Calcutta University and Delhi University, join all available waitlists, including evening programmes, which often have softer cutoffs.

Explore Evening/Shift Courses: Many reputed institutions offer evening or self-financed sections with relaxed cutoffs. Investigate Ashutosh College evening shift, DU evening courses, and PU self-financed sections.

Financial Planning for Private Colleges: Shortlist affordable options Inquire about scholarships or fee-installment plans at DAV College Chandigarh and Maitreyi College to help mitigate costs.

Bridge Courses and Summer Programs: As you finalize admissions, consider enrolling in online certificate courses in introductory psychology, research methods, and statistics from platforms like NPTEL or Coursera to enhance your portfolio.

Consider Gap-Year Strategy: If no suitable seat materializes by mid-October, plan a structured gap year focused on significantly improving CUET scores. Engage in disciplined self-study with coaching for CUET’s aptitude, English, and psychology modules.

CUET Preparation: Develop a timetable allocating two hours daily for CUET Psychology syllabus (foundations, developmental, abnormal, social, and research methods) and one hour for General English and Logical Reasoning. Use previous years’ CUET papers and take weekly mocks to track progress.

Alternate Entrance Exams: Some private universities conduct their own entrance tests (Christ University’s CUCET, Amity’s AUEET). Register for these supplementary exams to widen your admission avenues.

Mentorship and Counseling: Seek guidance from academic mentors or a career counselor to evaluate admission offers, financial implications, and long-term career trajectories in clinical, counseling, or research psychology.

By following this multipronged approach—pursuing merit-based vacancies, evening/self-financed programs, affordable private colleges, and preparing for CUET retake if required—you can maximize your chances of enrolling in an RCI-approved psychology UG programme without forfeiting a year.

Exhaust mop-up and merit-based admission options in government and reputed private colleges by mid-October, while preparing a robust CUET retake plan during a potential gap year to secure admission into top-tier psychology programs. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x