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Should I stop talking to my parents in the same house?

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
R Question by R on Aug 29, 2023Hindi
Relationship

Hi sir, I am 42 years old married. Living along with father and mother. My father is retired and mother is housewife. Since long I am not speaking with father because of his rude and illogical behavior, and since mother always takes fathers side so stopped speaking with mother too. We all are living in same flat along with my wife and children. I do not know how to deal with father and mother since they do not want to live separate also. Because of behaviour of father and mother our relatives also do not come to home. Please guide us since I do not know how to behave. One side I wanted to be good son and other side not able to bear the situation.

Ans: Thank you for sharing your situation. It's clear that you deeply value your role as a good son, yet you’re feeling trapped in a challenging environment. Balancing respect for your parents with your own emotional well-being requires patience and a plan. Let’s approach this step by step.

Understanding the Dynamics
Your Father’s Behavior:
His rudeness or illogical behavior may stem from age, personality, or even deeper frustrations that he hasn't expressed. Often, retired individuals struggle with feelings of lost authority or purpose, which may manifest as controlling or negative behavior.

Your Mother’s Role:
Your mother’s tendency to side with your father might not mean she agrees with him entirely but could reflect her way of maintaining peace. She might feel torn but unable to express it openly.

Your Feelings:
It’s important to acknowledge that your frustration is valid. However, remaining in silence and avoiding communication won’t resolve the underlying issues. It may actually deepen the distance.

Steps to Address the Situation
Break the Silence Gradually:
Start by speaking with your mother in a non-confrontational manner. Share how you feel without placing blame. Use “I” statements to express yourself, such as:

“I’ve been feeling very disconnected, and I miss having open communication with you and Dad. I want us to understand each other better.”

Initiate a Calm Conversation with Your Father:
Timing is key. Choose a moment when he is relaxed. Keep the focus on your desire to improve the relationship rather than pointing out his faults. For instance:

“Dad, I know we’ve had our differences, but I value our relationship. I’d like us to find ways to communicate better.”

Set Boundaries Respectfully:
If certain behaviors trigger conflict, it’s okay to set boundaries. Communicate them kindly but firmly, such as:

“I’d appreciate it if we could avoid certain topics that lead to arguments. I think it will help us get along better.”

Involve Your Wife and Children:
Encourage your wife to participate in creating a positive environment. Small gestures, like involving your parents in family activities or decisions, can help them feel included and respected.

Bridge the Gap with Relatives:
Relatives may stay away because of the tension at home. Once you begin rebuilding communication with your parents, invite close relatives for small gatherings to create a more welcoming atmosphere.

Consider Mediation or Counseling:
If direct conversations don’t lead to improvements, involving a neutral mediator, such as a family counselor, can help address issues in a structured way.

Changing Your Perspective
Your parents’ behavior may not change overnight, but your approach can influence the dynamic. Remember, it’s not about winning arguments but about fostering harmony. Small, consistent efforts to connect, like sharing meals or discussing lighter topics, can gradually ease the tension.

Taking Care of Yourself
While rebuilding family relationships, don’t forget your own mental and emotional health. Find time for activities that bring you peace and joy, whether it’s hobbies, spending time with your wife and kids, or seeking support from friends.

Relationships with parents can be complex, especially when expectations clash. However, by taking the first step and showing willingness to reconnect, you can slowly shift the situation. It’s a process, but the effort is worth it.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1822 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I've been married for 20 years and my in laws staying with us for over 14 years now. I'm ok with my mother in law but have a very stressful relationship with my father in law. 13 years back he tried to overstep his boundaries in FIL-DIL relationship and i created lots of noise about it and told everyone in no unclear terms that such overture are not acceptable. However due to their complete financial dependency on my husband, they have still continued to stay with us. My FIL tried a couple of time to apologize personally but after sometime he has started telling that he is the aggrieved party and misunderstood. I strictly avoid speaking with him unless totally necessary wrt some house issue or child related issue. He interferes in my decision related to my child, like taking him off the activity classes where i enrolled, allowing him to eat junk food when i have strictly told no because of IBS related problem etc. I've also told my husband in no unclear terms that i want a separate household, but unfortunately because of their old age and for fear of society norms he isn't doing it. The environment in my house is quite stressful because of this to me, everyone else is just continuing without bother. How to deal with this? I tried living in other city with my child as well but then felt my house is breaking without any fault in our relationship (husband- wife), and my child was feeling emotional so i returned. This situation and stress has given me health conditions and made me irritable as well. I just don't want to live like this but have no option but to continue it seems. I need suggestion how to handle this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What society says is more important that actually safeguarding his wife from a predator father? Seriously?
Your husband needs a lesson or two in responsibilities in marriage and that also includes 'protecting' his wife...
Now, if he is worried that they are old and what will the society say, ask him what the same society will say when they know what his father is up to?

Your father-in-law is just trying to punish you for your refusal by interfering in how you should be raising your child...
Please do not put up with this kind of nonsense! Someone needs to drive sense into your husband and yes, you need to live separately from your in-laws. Your father-in-law is not a great influence at this point in time and your husband needs to move beyond his 'blind' love and sense of duty towards them.

You and your child are also his priority and when a wife feels unsafe, the husband has no option but to address it and make her feel safe again. Your husband is conveniently avoiding the confusion that will emerge from living separately and hence is taking the easy way out.
Talk to him and put your foot down. If he is still unwilling, please ask your family members to drive some sense in him. He can take care of them living a few blocks away, right?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hello Sir. I am unwilling to disclose my name. I come from a nuclear family based in Kolkata. I am in a very painful situation and I need your suggestion earnestly. The problem arises with my father. He is 66 , retired and a stay at home dad. He has severe anger issues, is demanding and controlling and often tells certain things verbally that are very traumatic for me. My hands and legs tremble and my heart beats rapidly when ever we have an argument as I am a peace loving person. Of late I have realised that I prefer to maintain distance from him . In all honesty I respect him but my love for him has long gone. My mother is a very demure person and is a stay at home mom. In order to not make my father angry or agitated by any means and to maintain peace in the house, she prefers to do what he prefers. I love my mother dearly but my father calls us a bunch of liars and is agitated that I support my mother. Even though I earn, I am in no position to leave my family/ house and shift elsewhere because I respect my mother's will. But I am traumatized and severely in mental agony. I can neither show my anguish nor express my situation to anyone for fear of being misunderstood. I am often asked to remain silent and not talk back to my father but sometimes the words are unbearable. He financially supports our family and you wouldn't believe if I told you that he has a completely different side when he is not in one of his' moods '. But Sir, does being the head of the family means to step over others and do what you feel like, irrespective of what the other members in your family feel? Additionally talking or communication with him also fails because he threatens to leave the house or just pushes us away. Even when I am writing this tears are streaming down my face. I am slowly becoming a shell of myself and am scared. Am I being selfish? Am I missing out something? I am so so tired of adjusting and compromising. I believe I have never ever written such a heart felt message. Can you help me out? Can you tell me how things can be resolved? Regards MR.
Ans: Dear MR,

First, let me acknowledge your courage in expressing these deeply personal emotions. It is not easy to articulate such pain, and your message reflects a strong desire to find clarity and relief in a situation that feels overwhelming. Let me assure you, you are not alone, and there are steps we can take together to help you regain a sense of control and peace.

Understanding the Dynamics
Your father’s behavior, while difficult and hurtful, seems to stem from his own unresolved emotions or unmet needs. Retirement, aging, and a sense of losing relevance can sometimes manifest as controlling or angry behavior in individuals who were once accustomed to authority or a sense of purpose. However, this does not justify his actions. Emotional safety is as important in a home as financial support, and it appears this balance is missing.

Your mother, with her passive approach, may be coping in a way that avoids confrontation but also leaves you feeling unsupported and isolated. This dynamic creates a cycle where you’re left holding the weight of everyone's emotions, which is exhausting.

Addressing Your Internal Conflict
Let’s begin by addressing the questions you’ve asked yourself:

Are you being selfish? Absolutely not. Wanting to protect your mental well-being is not selfish—it’s necessary. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and neglecting your emotional health will only harm you in the long run.
Are you missing out on something? Perhaps the only thing you might be missing is recognizing that this is not your fault. It is easy to internalize blame in such situations, but this is not about you failing—it’s about a family dynamic that needs healing.
Steps Toward Resolution
While changing deeply ingrained patterns takes time, here are some immediate and long-term strategies to help you navigate this situation:

Self-Regulation First:

When arguments or confrontations arise, focus on calming your body first. Practice deep breathing or grounding techniques. For example, count your breaths slowly or focus on the sensation of your feet touching the ground. This will help you regain control over the trembling and rapid heartbeat.
Create a safe mental space for yourself. When you feel overwhelmed, imagine a place where you feel secure and loved. Retreat there mentally for a moment to regain your composure.
Establish Emotional Boundaries:

Decide what you will and won’t accept during conversations. For instance, if he raises his voice or says something hurtful, consider calmly saying, “I want to have this conversation, but not if we can’t speak respectfully.” If he continues, you can excuse yourself from the situation.
Have a Gentle Conversation:

Choose a time when your father is calm. Express your feelings in a non-confrontational way. Use “I” statements to avoid triggering his defensiveness. For example, “I feel very hurt and scared when we argue, and it affects my health. I want us to have a peaceful relationship.”
Involve a Neutral Third Party:

Sometimes family dynamics require external mediation. If your father is open to it, consider family counseling. A neutral professional can help facilitate healthier communication patterns.
Build Your Own Resilience:

Strengthen your emotional boundaries through self-care. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it’s a hobby, spending time with friends, or pursuing a passion.
Journaling can also be a powerful tool to process your emotions and find clarity. Write without judgment—just let the words flow.
Support Your Mother with Empathy:

While you may feel frustrated by your mother’s silence, understand that she too is coping in the best way she knows how. Gently encourage her to find her voice and share her feelings when she feels safe.
Seek Community Support:

If you cannot share your situation with friends or family, consider joining a support group (online or in person). Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly healing.
Plan for the Future:

While moving out isn’t an option right now, think about small steps you can take toward greater independence over time. This might include saving money, learning new skills, or preparing emotionally for when you’re ready to take that step.

A Gentle Reminder
MR, healing this situation doesn’t solely depend on changing your father’s behavior. It starts with you reclaiming your power to protect your mental health. Your peace of mind is just as valuable as anyone else’s.

Take this one step at a time. You are not broken—you are resilient. With each small action, you’ll begin to feel more grounded and capable of navigating this challenge.

If you ever need to share more or simply vent, I am here to listen.

Warm regards,
Dr. Ashish Sehgal

..Read more

Latest Questions
Krishna

Krishna Kumar  |424 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Oct 04, 2026

Career
Hi I am Prateek Kumar 20 year old class 12 pass with Biology stream writing this because I feel completely stuck and unable to make any decisions in my career. Overthinking, fear of missing out, fear of regret, procrastination, i have found all these things within myself. I don't understand what my interest is and what my goal is. I am interested in many things I feel like I have potential, but I can't decide what to do. I am unable to accept just one option. I have an interest in many fields: Engineering, Medical (MBBS), Law, Economics, Finance, Business, Politics, Science, History, AI/ML, Data Science, Research, top government jobs, Banking, etc. Because I cannot choose just one thing, I imagine myself in every single option. -Sometimes I feel that today is the era of AI, which has huge scope and good growth.Sometimes - I feel I should go into a career in politics and policymaking.Sometimes -I feel I should enter the field of Economics or Finance for a good salary and growth.Sometimes - I feel I should prepare for top government exams like IAS or IFS for power, respect, and authority. -Sometimes I feel I should choose a law for power and to bring change to the system. -Sometimes I feel I should go into the medical field because I am from the Biology stream and my family wants this too. -I also love writing stories and want to make my own movie because I have very good stories. -Earlier, I even wanted to become a pilot. I keep switching between 'should I do this' or 'should I do that', and I don't know what to do. Time is passing by.Whenever I try to choose one thing, I feel like I am missing out on everything else. I feel like the other option is the perfect one. Because of this perfectionism, I cannot make any decision. People say, 'Do what you are interested in.' But I am interested in so many things, how do I choose just one? As a boy from a middle-class family, I have imagined very big dreams. I feel I have the potential to achieve them, but a lack of direction, laziness, and overthinking are stopping me.I feel completely stuck. It has been 1.5 years since I passed Class 12, and I have still not taken admission anywhere. No one understands my situation. Many people tell me to just pursue graduation from a local college. But there are no good colleges here; you don't even have to attend classes daily. I won't get a real college environment, I won't be able to explore anything, and I won't enjoy college life. Taking admission here means either preparing for a government job or just getting a degree for the sake of a name. Most importantly, I don't even know which course I should actually pursue. I am trying very hard to figure things out, but I cannot reach a decision. Please help me. There is no psychologist near me, and my family will not take me to one either. I do not understand if I should change my stream or stick to it. Should I switch from Biology to Math or not? Before taking any decision, I overthink so much and feel terrified. It feels like my entire life depends on this single decision. Through YouTube and the internet, I have noticed patterns within myself like overthinking, procrastination, some signs of ADHD (not confirmed), fear of regret, fear of making a wrong decision, FOMO, and having multiple interests. Please help me and show me the right way to get out of this problem and choose the right direction. Also, please tell me how I can make my own decision."
Ans: Dear Prateek

Please note you have articulated your question and also given the answer.

Imagine you driving a car and you come to a crossroads. Now you have to decide either to go left, right, straight or take a U turn. Any decision is based upon the destination where you want to go. Even if you are simply wandering, yet you cannot stop at the crossroads, you must decide which turn to take. Or else you will miss on EVERYTHING that is there on the left, right, straight or even U turn.

Now by taking left definitely you will miss on somethings on right or straight or even from the road you travelled. But if you don't take a turn then you will miss on EVERYTHING that is there in a particular turn.

A good doctor can also be a good painter or a good engineer can also play guitar. However a good piano player cannot be a good lawyer unless and until he or she has learnt law and practised it in the court of law.

Expertise in professional filed comes through education and practise.

So, take up any profession that you want to, decide by asking a simple question, what is it that you would continue doing if there was no fame or fortune or power. What will you do just for the sake of doing it. start pursuing that field.

Home is built on a strong foundation but interior of drawing room we can change it even mix and match. So build one rock solid foundation by choosing a particular field of profession and explore other areas as intrest or hobbies.

All the best

Regards
KK

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11480 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2026

Money
In 2023 came across a scheme by indusind bank which stated give a deposit of Rs 5 lakh get a medium locker free. Initially the bank staff used to missell the con cept by telling gullible clients that a free medium locker will be then people would give deposit of Rs 5 lakh Infact the scheme is locker rent free for 1st year then 75c/o discount I gave Rs 5 lakh but the locker was not given on writing mails to backend team was told take a small locker later ir was scaled up to 2 i said won't suit me give 1 medium Later on the branch head on behest of DBM said take a insurance plan will give you a large locker rent free. Wen i said scheme is for medium & tommorow if you are transferred it will be a problem for me as the new branch head will ask for full rent he said will tell him not to do Under duress & pressure i went for the offer took the plan on realising i have been fooled i called the custcare of icici life ins for return of policy under free look period they in turn informed the bank agent who passed on the info to branch head who persuaded me to keep the policy i had to keep quiet. I was made to visit several times then told loc ker not there lateron was told searching vacant locker in other branch will give you there thinking this offer will be refused i said ok that also didn't happen Again i called custcare was told sent a mail i did still no reply lateron was told your mail id is not registered with us first hence mails not considered. Then i completed this formality sent them a fresh mail for policy cancellarion was told free look period over hence request can't be entertained Went to the branch office in B-1 janakpuri delhi wrote mails but of no avail i stopped paying further premiums. Got several mails SMS asking me to give bank + personal details for moneyback i said it's a missell case want policy premium paid refund was denied by icici stating freelook period over. The bank backend team of indusind was of no help either. The seniors at bikhajicama place office of indusbank also didn't help me out. This year on insistence i sent them my details but was told imoroper so moneyback can't be processed another mischeif by bank seniors I highlighted this issue with bank seniors + ins company but all in vain nobody paid heed As my details were incomplete my cashback after initial display was given of 1 year the 2 nd year moneyback is unpaid. As this is a clearcut case of missell by indus ind bank vikaspuri branch seniors the icici company agents are not responsible in any way they acted on behest of branch seniors Kindly look into the matter help me out by getting pending cashback + the initial first premium paid amount The indusbank branch senior staff & the com pany officials must be reprimanded for their misseeds as mine is not an isolate case there are others also suffering at these people hands Thanking you Deepak verma
Ans: The key issue is not simply non-allotment of a locker. It is the alleged linking of a banking facility with an insurance purchase, followed by repeated assurances and difficulty in getting the promised benefit.

If the facts are supported by documents, this should be treated as a formal mis-selling and deficiency-of-service grievance.

» Keep the two issues separate

There appear to be two connected but separate matters:

– The promised medium/large locker facility against the banking relationship.

– The insurance policy that you say was purchased only because of pressure and assurances from branch officials.

This distinction is important. The insurance company may take the position that the policy was issued after completion of its own proposal and free-look process. Your grievance against the bank, however, can separately concern what was represented to you by its employees and whether the insurance purchase was induced by a promise relating to the locker.

» Build a proper documentary record

Please collect and preserve:

– Original advertisement/circular or written communication regarding the Rs.5 lakh deposit and locker facility.

– Deposit/account records showing when the Rs.5 lakh was placed.

– All emails exchanged with the branch, backend team and senior officials.

– SMS messages and other communications relating to the locker.

– Insurance proposal form, policy document, premium receipts and cancellation correspondence.

– Your emails requesting cancellation during the free-look period.

– Any complaint numbers generated by the bank or insurance company.

– Communications concerning the later cashback/moneyback facility.

– Details of the branch officials who made the representations, as far as available.

– A chronological record of every important visit and conversation.

The chronology you have already provided is useful. Put it into a simple date-wise This can make your grievance much stronger.

» The free-look argument needs careful examination

The insurance company may focus only on whether your cancellation request was received within the applicable free-look period.

Therefore, the important question is not merely:

“Did I cancel after the free-look period?”

It is also:

“Did I attempt to cancel within the free-look period, and was that attempt prevented, delayed or interfered with because of the conduct of the bank staff?”

If you have evidence of an earlier call, email, complaint or other communication, preserve it carefully.

If the first cancellation request was actually made within the applicable period, but the matter was subsequently delayed because you were persuaded by the branch officials to continue with the policy, that fact should be clearly highlighted in your grievance.

» Do not make the insurance company the only target

Based on your narration, your primary grievance appears to be against the bank officials who allegedly represented that purchasing an insurance policy would result in a larger locker being provided.

So your complaint should clearly state:

– What was originally promised.

– What actually happened.

– What the branch officials subsequently offered.

– Why you purchased the insurance policy.

– When you first tried to cancel it.

– What response you received.

– How the matter continued thereafter.

This gives the matter a much clearer structure than simply asking for a refund of the insurance premium.

» Escalate through the formal grievance mechanism

Since you have already approached branch officials and senior bank personnel, the next step should be a properly documented complaint through the bank's formal grievance/redressal mechanism.

Similarly, raise a separate written grievance with the insurer regarding the insurance policy.

Do not depend only on telephone conversations. Written complaints with acknowledgement are much more useful.

If the bank does not resolve the grievance after exhausting its internal complaint process, you can consider approaching the RBI's complaint mechanism, subject to the applicable eligibility and jurisdiction.

For the insurance-related grievance, the insurer's internal grievance mechanism should first be exhausted, followed by the applicable insurance grievance redressal route if the matter remains unresolved.

» About the pending cashback

This needs separate verification.

If the cashback was contractually payable under the insurance policy and you have satisfied the applicable conditions, ask the insurer to provide a written reason for withholding the second year's amount.

Ask them to specify:

– The exact policy condition under which payment was stopped.

– Which customer detail was allegedly incomplete or incorrect.

– When you were informed about this deficiency.

– What documents are required to rectify it.

– Whether the first year's payment was made under the same conditions.

This forces the matter to move from verbal explanations to a specific contractual response.

» Be careful about the remedy you demand

I would not make only a general request that the officials be reprimanded.

Your complaint should first seek specific relief:

– Payment of any legitimate pending cashback.

– Review of the premium paid, considering the alleged inducement and the circumstances in which the policy was purchased.

– Written explanation from the bank regarding the locker representations.

– Written explanation regarding the role of the branch officials.

– Appropriate compensation/redressal, if supported by the facts and applicable grievance mechanism.

Disciplinary action against employees is ultimately for the institution or regulator to decide based on the findings. Your complaint will be stronger if it concentrates on facts, evidence and the specific financial loss suffered.

» 360-degree assessment

From an investment professional and AMFI-Registered MFD perspective, I would also suggest one broader lesson.

Banking products, insurance products and investment products have different purposes. A customer should not be pushed into an insurance policy merely because another banking facility is being discussed.

Whenever a bank employee links one product with another benefit, ask for the offer in writing before making any payment or signing any proposal.

In your case, the most important thing now is not to lose hope. You have a detailed sequence of events, and that can be converted into a strong documentary grievance.

» Finally

Your case should be presented as a documented sequence of alleged mis-selling, inducement, failure to provide the promised banking facility, attempted cancellation of the insurance policy, and subsequent non-payment of the claimed cashback.

Avoid emotional or very strong allegations unless you have documentary evidence supporting them. Use words such as “represented”, “assured”, “alleged”, “requested”, “refused” and “not provided”. This makes the complaint more precise and credible.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11480 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 03, 2026

Money
I have purchased jeevan saral policy Rs 4083 per month for 15 years in Oct 2011 at the age of 52 years. What will be the maturity amount. Thanks
Ans: The exact maturity amount cannot be determined from the monthly premium alone. For Jeevan Saral, the entry age, policy term, maturity sum assured and applicable Loyalty Addition are important.

» Your policy details

You have mentioned:

– Entry age: 52 years
– Policy commencement: October 2011
– Monthly premium: Rs.4,083
– Premium-paying term: 15 years
– Expected maturity: around October 2026

Jeevan Saral provides maturity benefit based on the applicable Maturity Sum Assured, along with Loyalty Addition, if applicable.

» Why I cannot give an exact figure

For Jeevan Saral, the maturity benefit is not simply the total premiums paid.

The applicable Maturity Sum Assured depends on the policy details, including the entry age and policy term. Loyalty Addition, if applicable, is also added at maturity.

Therefore, giving you one exact maturity figure based only on Rs.4,083 monthly premium could be misleading.

» What you should check

Please look at your original policy bond and give me these 4 details:

– Plan No.

– Policy term.

– Sum Assured / Maturity Sum Assured.

– Date of maturity.

You can also upload a photo or PDF of the first page of the policy bond after hiding your policy number, address and other personal details.

Once you provide these details, I can help you work out the likely maturity amount, including the applicable Loyalty Addition, as far as the available policy information permits.

Since your policy is reaching maturity now, I would also suggest obtaining the maturity quotation directly from LIC before making any decision about reinvestment.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Krishna

Krishna Kumar  |424 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Oct 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2026
Career
I am not from English medium background, so sometimes I am not very confident while speaking English in office meetings. I know what I want to explain, but while speaking I take little more time to make the sentence properly. Many times, before I complete my point, someone interrupts or starts speaking, and then I lose my flow and become more nervous. After that I start speaking fast because I feel I have to finish quickly. I don’t think people are intentionally ignoring me, but this happens quite often and it makes me feel that maybe my communication is not strong enough. How can I speak more confidently and clearly in meetings, especially in English, without sounding too aggressive or feeling that I have to rush through my point?
Ans: Hello

Very relevant question, thanks for asking.

Firstly let me tell you from the way you have written and structured this question actually shows that you have very good command over the English language, so compliments to to you.

Please note English is not our mother tongue so we will have some difficulty in the flow and fluency, however speaking fluent (read fast) English no way reflects our understanding of the subject or depth of our thinking. Rather at times speaking fast can make us sound shallow.

What I would suggest is be confident in your command over English, speak in your natural and normal speed and when someone interrupts you, stop and say politely, please let me complete my point and I will be open to listening to your views as well. When you say this you will see that people will stop interrupting you.

Be polite, yet firm. Be assertive not aggressive.

Hope this helps, wish you all the best.

Warm Regards
KK

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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