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Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2023Hindi

Hello Sir!!!!! I m a divorcee guy n dating a girl since sept 2022. Soon she is going to file a divorce. She is good in nature. Just 1 month back i came to know she is parkinson +ve. I don't understand wat shld i do? Continue dating or stop. I know all the -ve side of parkinson diseases. I m very confused. Please help me wat shld i do.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. It's understandable that you're feeling confused about what to do next. Here are some things to consider:

1. Educate yourself: Parkinson's disease is a complex condition, and it's important to understand the symptoms and how they can affect a person's life.

2. Communicate with your partner: It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about her diagnosis and how it may affect your relationship. Ask her how she's feeling and what you can do to support her.

3. Consider your own needs: It's important to take care of your own physical and emotional needs. Consider how your partner's diagnosis may affect your own well-being and whether you're prepared to take on the challenges that may come with it.

4. Seek support: Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your partner

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Anu Krishna  |1026 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2023Hindi
Hello. I am about 61 or so, have a few flats, plots, hefty FDs, bank, balance, gold, silver, etc, all in my wife’s name. My father developed Parkinsons when he was about 64-65, my uncle had the same problem. My mother and aunt cared for their husbands, devotedly, and never allowed anyone to mock them. My wife is different. She is very scared and ashamed that I will end up feeble and doddering like them, and that she will have to babysit me. All love is gone, there is only scorn and humiliation, and gradual isolation as I am asked to stay at home. I have started getting the symptoms, hands shaking, forgetfulness, inability to remember names and faces, standing in the same place for minutes, and then wondering what I am doing. Initial diagnosis by my friend who is a doctor said that this is the early stage and it will progress in a couple of years. Both my daughters completed their BE/ MS and well settled in US. They listen to her only and are ashamed of what I will become. My wife went abroad for five months and did not take me as I would be a burden. I stayed alone, the maid servant cooked. I do not blame my wife, as times change. Staying in a care home will mean that all will come to know, and this is a stigma. I can still move and still earn as a writer. I know you cannot help, just wanted to communicate with someone as it is lonely. I am thinking of ending this misery. Stay blessed.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for reaching out...Yes, I cannot help but I can surely suggest a few things to you and hope that it eases your mind and your situation.
Times do change and I really appreciate that you are making alternate plans to care for yourself which in the current circumstances seem the right thing to do. But, I would also appeal to your good sense to call for a family meeting and let your children know of your condition and what you plan on doing.
Also, how secure are you financially as you have mentioned that most of the assets are in your wife's name. Can you manage with whatever money that you have that takes care of you in terms of health as well. If not, you need to come to some sort of an arrangement with your wife (I am sure you can figure this one out).
I don't understand what makes you play into the 'stigma' thing. In societies, anything can become a stigma provided it has been given power to become one.
Retain your power within you and create the future the way that you wish to. People will talk today and forget it all tomorrow...that's how it plays out! So, if you have a chance to make a living as a writer, then do just that! It can become an example for anyone who is in your position to push their boundaries. Keep inspiring!

All the best!

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Kanchan Rai  |276 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 11, 2023

i m 58 yrs of age my wife health issues are there and not interested in relationship i m desperate to satisfy my needs pl suggest ???
Ans: I understand that you may be facing a challenging situation, but it's essential to approach this issue with empathy and sensitivity, especially considering your wife's health issues. Communication and mutual understanding are key in such situations. Here are some steps to consider:

Open and Honest Communication: Start by having an open and honest conversation with your wife. Discuss your feelings, needs, and concerns while also listening to her perspective. It's essential to maintain a respectful and understanding tone during this conversation.
Seek Professional Help: If your wife's health issues are affecting her desire for intimacy, encourage her to consult with a healthcare professional. Medical issues can sometimes be treated or managed, and discussing this with a healthcare provider may help improve her situation.
Marriage Counseling: Consider seeking the assistance of a marriage counselor or therapist. They can help facilitate a productive conversation between you and your wife, providing guidance on how to navigate these sensitive issues.
Self-Care: While addressing these challenges, it's crucial to take care of your own emotional and physical well-being. Engage in hobbies, activities, and practices that bring you joy and reduce stress.
Patience and Understanding: Remember that it may take time for both you and your wife to work through these issues. Be patient and understanding of her needs and feelings, as well as your own.
Explore Intimacy Alternatives: If your wife's health issues make traditional intimacy challenging, consider exploring alternative ways to maintain physical and emotional closeness. This may include cuddling, holding hands, or even seeking advice from a therapist on how to adapt your intimacy in a way that suits both of you.
Support Groups: Look for support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who are going through similar situations. Sharing experiences and advice with others can be comforting and helpful.
Remember that it's crucial to prioritize the emotional well-being and consent of both partners in any intimate relationship. Be respectful of your wife's feelings and boundaries, and work together to find a solution that works for both of you. Seeking professional guidance can be particularly helpful in navigating these sensitive issues

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Kanchan Rai  |276 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2023Hindi
Hello Sir!!!!! I m a divorcee guy n dating a girl since sept 2022. Soon she is going to file a divorce. She is good in nature. Just 1 month back i came to know she is parkinson +ve. I don't understand wat shld i do? Continue dating or stop. I know all the -ve side of parkinson diseases. I m very confused. Please help me wat shld i do.
Ans: It's understandable that learning about a serious health condition like Parkinson's disease can be a significant and emotional experience. When faced with such situations, it's important to consider your own feelings, the dynamics of your relationship, and your capacity to provide support. Take the time to learn more about Parkinson's disease, its symptoms, and the challenges individuals with the condition may face. Understanding the illness can help you better comprehend your partner's situation Reflect on your own feelings and consider whether you are emotionally prepared to support someone through the challenges that may come with Parkinson's disease. It's essential to be honest with yourself about your own capacity for support.Discuss long-term plans and how you both envision the future. Understanding each other's expectations and being on the same page about how to handle the challenges can be crucial Consider the overall dynamics of your relationship. Are there strong emotional connections, shared values, and mutual support? Evaluate whether the foundation of your relationship is strong enough to withstand the challenges that may arise Ultimately, the decision to continue or end a relationship is a personal one. It's important to prioritize your well-being and happiness while being compassionate and understanding towards your partner. If you're uncertain, taking the time to explore these feelings with a professional or confiding in trusted friends and family can be helpful. Remember that relationships require open communication, understanding, and a commitment to supporting each other through life's challenges.

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Latest Questions

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |4599 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Sir, I have purchaes LIC jeevan Saral policy in the year 2012. I am paying Rs 4083/- towards premium every month. I want to surrender this policy now, but unable to find details about bonus etc. Plz help.
Ans: Surrendering an insurance policy is a major decision. You have consistently paid Rs 4083/- per month since 2012. This dedication shows your commitment to securing your future. Now, let's delve into the specifics of surrendering your policy and its implications.

Surrender Value and Its Components
The surrender value is the amount you get when you decide to discontinue your policy before its maturity. This amount includes two main components:

Guaranteed Surrender Value: This is a percentage of the premiums you have paid, minus the first year's premium and any bonuses you might have received.

Special Surrender Value: This is usually higher than the guaranteed surrender value. It takes into account factors like the duration of the policy and the total premiums paid.

Since you have been paying premiums for over a decade, you are likely to receive a special surrender value. This value reflects the time and money invested in the policy.

Evaluating Bonuses
Insurance policies often come with bonuses, which are additional amounts added to the sum assured. These bonuses can significantly impact the surrender value. However, understanding the exact bonus details can be challenging without specific policy documentation. Generally, bonuses accumulate annually and are declared by the insurance company based on their profits.

In your case, given the policy's tenure, there should be a notable bonus component. But, for precise information, it's essential to contact the insurance company directly or refer to your policy documents.

Analyzing Financial Goals
Surrendering a policy is not just about the immediate financial gain. It's crucial to align this decision with your long-term financial goals. Reflect on the reasons for surrendering the policy:

Immediate Financial Needs: If you have urgent financial requirements, surrendering the policy might provide quick funds.

Better Investment Opportunities: You might want to explore other investment avenues that offer higher returns.

Changing Financial Priorities: Your financial goals and priorities might have evolved over time.

Exploring Alternative Investments
Upon surrendering your policy, you might consider reinvesting the proceeds. Here are some options to consider:

Mutual Funds
Mutual funds offer a diverse range of investment opportunities. They are managed by professional fund managers who make investment decisions on your behalf. Here’s why mutual funds can be a good option:

Diversification: Mutual funds invest in a variety of assets, reducing risk.

Professional Management: Experienced fund managers handle your investments.

Liquidity: You can easily buy and sell mutual fund units, providing flexibility.

Potential for Higher Returns: Historically, mutual funds have offered higher returns compared to traditional savings instruments.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
SIPs are a disciplined way to invest in mutual funds. They allow you to invest a fixed amount regularly, ensuring you benefit from market fluctuations. This method can help you build a substantial corpus over time.

Debt Instruments
If you prefer lower risk, consider debt instruments like fixed deposits or government bonds. These options provide stability and predictable returns.

Equity Investments
For those comfortable with higher risk, equity investments can offer significant growth potential. Investing in stocks directly can be rewarding but requires careful analysis and monitoring.

Assessing Risks and Benefits
Every investment comes with its own set of risks and benefits. It’s important to evaluate these before making a decision:

Risk Tolerance: Understand your ability to withstand market fluctuations.

Time Horizon: Consider the duration you can keep your money invested.

Financial Goals: Align your investments with your long-term objectives.

Tax Implications: Different investments have varied tax treatments. Understand the tax benefits and liabilities associated with each option.

Consulting a Certified Financial Planner
To make an informed decision, it’s wise to consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). A CFP can provide personalized advice based on your financial situation and goals. They can help you:

Analyze Your Current Financial Position: Assess your income, expenses, and savings.

Set Realistic Goals: Define achievable financial objectives.

Create a Customized Investment Plan: Develop a strategy tailored to your needs.

Monitor and Adjust: Regularly review and adjust your plan to stay on track.

Your dedication to paying premiums for over a decade is commendable. This long-term commitment reflects your focus on financial security. When considering policy surrender, it's important to maintain this long-term perspective. Think about how your decisions today will impact your financial future.

We understand that navigating financial decisions can be challenging. It’s normal to feel uncertain about the best course of action. By gathering information and seeking professional advice, you’re taking the right steps toward making an informed decision.

Final Insights
Surrendering your insurance policy is a significant decision with various implications. It's essential to consider the surrender value, bonuses, and your long-term financial goals. Exploring alternative investments can provide opportunities for better returns and financial growth. Consulting a Certified Financial Planner can offer valuable guidance tailored to your needs. Remember to maintain a long-term perspective and make decisions that align with your financial objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner


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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.


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