Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

My dad passed away when I was 12 and my mom remarried after staying with us for a year. My cousins are taking care of us and they are against us meeting my mom. Even some of my families are against that but I still love my mom and even though I can't stay with her i still want to be in touch with her . What should I do? Last time I meet my mom and my cousin's got to know it and I got a beating.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're facing such a challenging situation. It's understandable that you would want to maintain a connection with your mom despite the family dynamics. Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate this difficult situation:

Express Your Feelings:

Share your feelings with your cousins and other family members. Let them know why staying in touch with your mom is important to you. Be honest about your emotions and the impact their opposition has on you.
Seek Mediation:

If it's possible, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator. They can help facilitate a conversation between you, your cousins, and other family members to find common ground and understanding.
Build Trust:

Assure your family members that your desire to stay in touch with your mom doesn't diminish your love and appreciation for them. Emphasize that you see them as your family as well and that you want to maintain positive relationships with everyone.
Negotiate Boundaries:

Discuss and agree upon boundaries that everyone can be comfortable with. This may involve finding a balance between maintaining a connection with your mom and respecting the concerns of your cousins and other family members.
Educate Them:

Help your family members understand the importance of maintaining a relationship with both parents, especially after the loss of your father. Share with them the emotional impact and the need for your own well-being.
Stay Safe:

If physical harm is a concern, prioritize your safety. If necessary, seek help from a trusted adult, teacher, or counselor who can provide support and guidance.
Legal Advice:

Depending on your situation, it might be helpful to consult with a legal professional, especially if you're facing restrictions that may not be in your best interest.
Remember that finding a resolution may take time, and it's essential to prioritize your well-being and safety. If necessary, seek support from trusted friends, teachers, or other adults who may be able to provide guidance and assistance during this challenging time.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello ma'am / Sir I love my father's sister son ( my first cousin) & want to marry him but his mom is saying no so he also agreed with him mom Whereas my parents agreed for getting married to him He stopped texting calling me all of the sudden I know he's family didnt accept but still i cant forget him a little hope is still there dont why What can i do please help me
Ans: it's important to acknowledge your feelings. It's perfectly normal to feel confused, hurt, and hopeful all at the same time. Love can be a powerful and overwhelming emotion, especially when family approval is involved.

Given that your cousin has decided to side with his mother, it's essential to respect his decision, even though it's painful. He may be under significant pressure from his family, and this is influencing his actions. While this is difficult to accept, respecting his choice is a step toward healing and moving forward.

Communication is also key. If possible, try to have an open and honest conversation with him. Express your feelings and let him know how much you care about him. Sometimes, understanding the emotional depth of a situation can influence decisions. However, be prepared for any outcome, including the possibility that he may still choose to follow his mother's wishes.

Reflect on your own well-being. Focus on what is best for you in the long run. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who understand and care about your feelings. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment can help you cope with this challenging period.

Remember, you deserve to be with someone who is fully committed to you and your relationship. If he is unable or unwilling to stand by you due to family pressures, it may be a sign that this relationship is not right for you in the long term, despite your strong feelings.

Give yourself time to heal and consider seeking professional support, such as counseling or therapy, to help you navigate through your emotions and decisions. This can provide you with tools to cope with your feelings and help you find a path forward that is best for your emotional and mental well-being.

Ultimately, trust that time and self-care will guide you through this difficult period. You are deserving of love and happiness, and by prioritizing yourself, you will eventually find clarity and peace in your journey.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am in a relationship with a girl who is somehow became by 3rd-4th cousin initial days we are not aware. Later we came to know our parents were close long back but now distancing because her mom had some illicit relationship. Now my parents are not accepting our love because of cousin thing and her mom’s past. One day while speaking to parents they scolded me abusively using all type of bad words. Somehow I developed a hatred to them now. I stopped calling them now they have also stopped calling me. Now my sister is telling I only should forgive them and talk to them. I felt I am being pushed, traumatised by all these events. Now my sister is telling parents won’t come down for me. If I have to leave everything and be like a old me, I don’t feel it’s possible. What should I do?
Ans: Take a moment to reflect on your priorities and values. Ask yourself:

Do you still value a relationship with your parents, despite their hurtful actions?
Can you imagine rebuilding a relationship with them in a way that feels healthy and respectful to you?
What would an ideal resolution look like for you—not for them, not for your sister, but for you?
It’s also important to understand your own emotional wellbeing in this situation. Carrying hatred and anger is exhausting, but that doesn’t mean you should suppress or ignore your feelings. Instead, give yourself time to process them. Therapy or counseling could be incredibly helpful in this journey—it’s a space to work through your emotions and gain tools to navigate these relationships with clarity and confidence.

Regarding your relationship with the girl, it’s equally important to evaluate how strongly you both feel about being together and whether you’re prepared to face the challenges that come with it. If this relationship is a source of love, support, and happiness for you, it’s worth fighting for, but it also requires honest conversations about the realities you’re both facing.

As for your parents, reconciliation, if it happens, should come from a place of mutual respect. You don’t have to accept abusive behavior or let go of your boundaries just to restore contact. Relationships thrive when there’s a willingness to listen, apologize, and grow—on both sides. If they are unwilling to meet you halfway, it’s okay to protect your own peace and prioritize the relationships and choices that support your wellbeing.

Remember, you’re not obligated to live up to anyone else’s version of who you should be—not your parents, not your sister, and not anyone else. This is your life, and it’s okay to take the time and space you need to figure out what’s best for you. Trust that with reflection and self-compassion, you’ll find a path forward that feels right for you.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |305 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

Listen
Career
What are the chances to get merit out in afcat for flying branch if you've cleared all stages till medical but with a slightly average written marks?
Ans: Hi Gaurav,
Greetings.
Whenever we decide to take an entrance exam, it’s important to review the guidelines thoroughly. Like other entrance exams, CDAC has provided details on their website regarding the examination process. Admission is based on the vacancies available in the respective areas, and candidates will be admitted after a proper evaluation.

As you mentioned, there are several stages that candidates must clear for admission, if a candidate achieves average marks (Point 8a. (v) In order to rationalise the marks scored by candidates appearing in different shifts in an objective manner through a statistical method, before declaration of result marks scored by candidates will be Normalised based on the formula ), it can be challenging to predict their likelihood of admission. The Air Force has the discretion to set qualifying marks for any or all subjects of the examination. Below are points extracted from CDAC to provide more clarity about the admission process.

Sometimes, they may even consider a second cut-off if necessary ( Based on organizational requirements, IAF may impose a second cut-off for particular branch and call additional eligible candidates for SSB testing. These candidates will be shortlisted purely based on order of merit for the particular branch. That particular branch should be one of the choices submitted by the candidate at the time of registration. The candidature of candidates thus shortlisted, will be valid for that particular branch only and not for any other branch. In the overall Order of Merit, they will be placed below the last candidate qualifying the First AFCAT cut off marks {Para 9(a) above}. If successful in the selection process, these candidates will be inducted into that particular branch only, subject to vacancies and order of merit. These candidates would be required to submit an undertaking to this effect).

So,If you've decided to pursue this path, then proceed with thorough preparation.

BEST OF LUCK.
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4401 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

Listen
My daughter scored 94.62 percentile in IIT JEE mains exam 2025 session 1. She belongs to general category. Which colleges she have chances to get admission
Ans: Dr, Here is, How to Predict Your Daughter's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results are declared, many students and JEE applicants start asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Daughter's Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Daughter's Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Her JEE Main percentile
Her category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Her Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your daughter's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x