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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
P Question by P on Feb 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 13yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she don't want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a condition to give our relationship a NAME in society. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide

Ans: I understand that you're in a complex and emotionally challenging situation. It's commendable that you want to support and ensure the happiness of the person you care about. However, it's crucial to consider your own well-being and emotional health as well.

Here are some steps you might want to consider:

Communication is key: Have an open and honest conversation with her about your feelings, concerns, and expectations. Understand her perspective as well. Clear communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship.

Set boundaries: Determine what you're comfortable with and establish clear boundaries for your relationship. Consider the impact on both of your lives, and ensure that the arrangement is sustainable and healthy for both parties involved.

Consider professional help: Given the complexity of the situation, it might be beneficial for both of you to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor. They can provide support, help you navigate through challenging emotions, and offer practical advice on how to move forward.

Evaluate your own well-being: Reflect on your own needs, aspirations, and emotional health. It's important to prioritize your happiness and fulfillment as well. Consider how the situation might affect your overall life satisfaction.

Explore options: Depending on the circumstances, there might be ways for her to address the challenges in her marriage, such as seeking therapy, counseling, or discussing her concerns with her family. Encourage her to explore these options, and provide support where possible.

Ultimately, the decision on how to proceed is a personal one and depends on the dynamics of your relationship and the well-being of everyone involved. Taking the time to reflect, communicate openly, and seek professional guidance can be instrumental in making informed decisions. Remember to prioritize your own happiness and consider what is sustainable for both of you in the long run.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some compulsion they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot is still waiting for me and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
She is married and not happy and loves you BUT will not recognize your relationship in public!
You are unmarried and want to wait for someone who won't give you the presence that you deserve!
Do the right thing...allow her to be committed to her marriage rather than be her emotional crutch...in the long run, you will be left high and dry after investing a lot of emotions into her...
Shift focus onto your life and building it the way that you want. When you put your life and emotions into someone else's hands, you end up becoming a puppet swaying about with no stability whatsoever. Put more energies into yourself instead...

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |551 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2024

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Relationship
I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is refreshing to see someone so selfless as you. I understand and appreciate your love and how much you are ready to sacrifice for her. However, I would like to offer a suggestion – it's crucial to prioritize your own mental and emotional health in this situation. While it's unfortunate that she is dealing with challenges in her marriage, resorting to having an affair might not be the most constructive way to cope.

I suggest that she and her husband explore the option of seeking professional help through a marriage counselor. This could help them navigate the complexities of their relationship and make an informed decision about whether to continue their marriage or part ways. In case they decide to separate, it would be valid for you two to start a relationship and pursue a happy life together. But if they decide to remain married, I fear that you might end up sacrificing your own chance at a fulfilling love life. I realize that you might be okay with it, but it isn't fair to you.

I encourage you to have an open and honest discussion with her before committing to anything, ensuring that your feelings and well-being are also taken into account.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |566 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

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Relationship
I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide
Ans: Dear P,
This is undoubtedly a complex and emotionally challenging situation. It's important to approach it with care and consideration for both your feelings and hers. Reflect on your own feelings and desires. Consider what you want in a relationship and whether you can realistically achieve those goals in this situation Talk to her about your concerns, fears, and the impact this situation has on both of you. Discuss the future and what you both want. Ensure that you're on the same page about your expectations and the potential challenges that may arise Understand the potential consequences of continuing this relationship. Consider the impact on her family, your own well-being, and the well-being of any children involved. Be realistic about the challenges you may face. Consider the long-term implications of the relationship. If there is no possibility of it evolving into a more conventional partnership and that is something you desire, you may need to evaluate whether continuing the relationship is in your best interest Ultimately, the decision you make should align with your values, desires, and what you believe is best for your overall well-being. It may be a difficult decision to make, but taking the time to reflect, communicate, and seek guidance can help you navigate this challenging situation.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8128 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 23, 2025

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Money
30000 investment in mutual funds
Ans: Investing Rs. 30,000 every month in mutual funds is a strong financial decision.

A well-structured portfolio ensures steady growth and balanced risk.

Let’s discuss the best way to invest this amount.

Investment Goals and Time Horizon
You have a long-term investment horizon of 15 years.

The goal is to create wealth with a systematic approach.

Market fluctuations will not impact long-term growth if the allocation is right.

Issues to Avoid in Portfolio
1. Over-Diversification
Investing in too many funds reduces effectiveness.

Tracking multiple funds is difficult and time-consuming.

Similar funds may overlap in holdings, limiting returns.

2. High Allocation to Sectoral Funds
Sectoral funds depend on the performance of specific industries.

If a sector underperforms, your portfolio suffers.

A well-diversified approach is better for stability.

3. Investing in Index Funds
Index funds lack active management.

During market corrections, they fall sharply.

Actively managed funds can reduce risks and give better returns.

4. Gold and Silver ETF FoFs
Precious metals are not ideal for long-term wealth creation.

Over time, equity funds outperform gold and silver.

Holding a small amount is fine, but not for wealth generation.

Recommended Fund Categories
1. Flexi-Cap Fund
Adjusts investments across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.

Provides flexibility based on market conditions.

Reduces the risk of underperformance in one category.

2. Mid-Cap Fund
Mid-sized companies have higher growth potential.

Suitable for long-term wealth creation.

Risk is higher than large-cap but rewards are better.

3. Large & Mid-Cap Fund
Invests in both large and mid-sized companies.

Balances stability and growth.

Suitable for investors with a long-term view.

4. ELSS (Tax-Saving) Fund
Helps in tax savings under Section 80C.

Invests in equity markets with a 3-year lock-in period.

One ELSS fund is enough in a portfolio.

5. Balanced Advantage Fund
Adjusts allocation between equity and debt.

Helps in reducing risk during market volatility.

Good for stable and consistent returns.

Suggested Monthly Allocation (Rs. 30,000)
Flexi-Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Mid-Cap Fund – Rs. 6,000

Large & Mid-Cap Fund – Rs. 6,000

ELSS Fund – Rs. 4,000

Balanced Advantage Fund – Rs. 4,000

This allocation ensures:

High growth potential from mid-cap and flexi-cap funds.

Stability from large & mid-cap and balanced advantage funds.

Tax savings from ELSS investments.

Benefits of Annual Step-Up
Increasing SIP by 10% every year enhances returns.

Compounding works better when investments grow over time.

Helps in accumulating wealth faster for retirement.

Fund Categories to Avoid
Gold and Silver ETF FoFs → Not useful for long-term growth.

Sectoral Funds → High risk due to industry dependence.

Index Funds → Lack of flexibility and risk management.

Avoiding these funds will improve overall performance.

Final Insights
Reduce unnecessary funds for better portfolio efficiency.

Focus on flexi-cap, mid-cap, and balanced funds.

Avoid sector-specific funds unless you track them actively.

Stop investing in gold, silver, and index funds.

Review portfolio every year and make adjustments if needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8128 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 23, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi , I have recently started investing in mutual funds. I have got following funds in my portfolio. I am 36 years old and I want to invest 30,000 per month and can step up 10% every year. I am looking at 15 years horizon for investment. Could you please tell me if my portfolio is diversified and how much should I invest in each fund and which fund should I stop? SBI Technology Opportunities Fund Direct-Growth, Nippon India Consumption Fund Direct-Growth, SBI Long Term Equity Fund Direct Plan-Growth, Quant ELSS Tax Saver Fund Direct-Growth, ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FOF Direct - Growth, Quant Infrastructure Fund Direct-Growth, UTI Gold ETF FoF Direct - Growth, ICICI Prudential Silver ETF FoF Direct - Growth, ICICI Prudential Nifty 50 Index Direct Plan-Growth Parag parikh flexi cap fund Motilal oswal midcap fund
Ans: You have taken a great step by investing in mutual funds.

A well-diversified portfolio can help maximize returns and reduce risks.

Let’s analyze your portfolio and suggest improvements.

Strengths of Your Portfolio
You are investing in multiple sectors and themes.

Your portfolio includes equity, sectoral, gold, and silver exposure.

You have tax-saving funds, which help with deductions under Section 80C.

Your investment horizon of 15 years allows long-term wealth creation.

Issues in Your Portfolio
1. Over-Diversification
Too many funds create unnecessary complexity.

Some funds may overlap in holdings, reducing effectiveness.

Managing multiple funds increases effort and tracking.

2. High Allocation to Sectoral & Thematic Funds
Sectoral funds focus on specific industries.

If the sector underperforms, your returns may be affected.

Diversification should not be restricted to selected themes.

3. Exposure to Gold and Silver ETF FoFs
Precious metals are good for stability but not for long-term growth.

Equity funds generally outperform gold and silver over 15 years.

Allocating too much to metals may lower overall portfolio returns.

4. Investing in an Index Fund
Index funds do not actively manage risks.

Market corrections affect index funds more.

Actively managed funds have better growth potential.

Funds to Stop or Reduce
Gold and Silver ETF FoFs → Not ideal for long-term wealth creation.

Technology and Consumption Funds → Sector-specific risk is high.

Bharat 22 FOF → Limited diversification, better alternatives exist.

One ELSS Fund → Keeping two tax-saving funds is unnecessary.

Nifty 50 Index Fund → Actively managed funds are better.

Stopping or reducing these funds will make your portfolio stronger.

Funds to Continue & Increase Allocation
1. Flexi-Cap Fund
Adapts to market changes.

Invests across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.

Provides flexibility and stability.

2. Mid-Cap Fund
Higher growth potential over 15 years.

Mid-cap stocks have strong wealth creation opportunities.

Suitable for long-term aggressive investors.

3. Infrastructure Fund (Limited Allocation)
India's infrastructure sector is growing.

Can provide good returns if held for the long term.

Keep exposure limited to avoid concentration risk.

4. One ELSS Tax-Saving Fund
Helps in tax savings under Section 80C.

Invest in one ELSS instead of two.

Choose the one with a better track record.

Suggested Monthly Investment Split (Rs. 30,000)
Flexi-Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Mid-Cap Fund – Rs. 8,000

ELSS Tax-Saving Fund – Rs. 5,000

Infrastructure Fund – Rs. 3,000

Balanced Advantage Fund – Rs. 4,000 (for stability)

This allocation ensures:

Growth from flexi-cap and mid-cap funds.

Tax benefits from ELSS.

Stability from a balanced advantage fund.

Importance of Annual Step-Up
Increasing investments by 10% every year is a great strategy.

Compounding works better with higher contributions over time.

Helps in beating inflation and achieving larger goals.

Final Insights
Reduce the number of funds to improve efficiency.

Avoid sectoral funds unless you track them actively.

Stop investing in gold, silver, and index funds.

Focus more on flexi-cap and mid-cap for long-term wealth.

Keep reviewing performance every year and rebalance if needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8128 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 23, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I'm 35 years old. I can invest 30000 in mutual funds for my retirement at 55. My current montly expense 50000. I'm already investing 5k in nifty 50 index fund and 5k in parag parikh flexi cap fund. Small and midcap not doing good now. In which fund I can invest the remaining 20000.
Ans: You are investing Rs. 30,000 per month for retirement.

Rs. 5,000 is allocated to a Nifty 50 Index Fund.

Rs. 5,000 is in Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund.

You want to invest the remaining Rs. 20,000 effectively.

Why Actively Managed Funds Are Better Than Index Funds
Index funds only match market performance, they do not beat it.

During market corrections, index funds fall without protection.

Active funds adjust based on market conditions and opportunities.

A Certified Financial Planner can help pick funds with strong management.

To maximize returns, actively managed funds are a better option.

How to Allocate Your Remaining Rs. 20,000
Since you already have exposure to large-cap and flexi-cap funds, diversification is key.

1. Large & Mid-Cap Fund
Combines stability of large caps with growth of mid-caps.

Helps in wealth creation while reducing risk.

Fund managers adjust based on market trends.

2. Focused Equity Fund
Invests in a limited number of high-quality stocks.

Ensures fund managers concentrate on best opportunities.

Suitable for long-term wealth creation.

3. Thematic or Sectoral Fund (Selective Exposure)
Invests in high-growth sectors like manufacturing or exports.

Good for long-term investors with moderate to high risk appetite.

Requires monitoring, so allocation should be limited.

4. Balanced Advantage Fund (For Risk Management)
Adjusts between equity and debt based on market conditions.

Reduces downside risk while capturing equity growth.

Suitable for long-term stability.

Portfolio Balancing for the Long Term
You should review your portfolio every 6-12 months.

Ensure funds are performing as expected.

Avoid frequent switching; long-term compounding is key.

Keep track of taxation on capital gains while redeeming.

Final Insights
Avoid investing more in index funds as they limit potential returns.

Actively managed funds help maximize long-term growth.

A mix of large & mid-cap, focused, and sectoral funds can improve diversification.

Reviewing performance and rebalancing will keep your portfolio strong.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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