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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked on - May 29, 2024Hindi

Hello sir, thanks for your previous response. I am a bit curious about how relationships fall into routine and predictability. We all know that every relationship has a phase where passion wanes and people settle in routine and predictable life. But only some of them get attracted towards potential partners outside while some don't. Why this happens and is it different for men and women?
Ans: Relationships, like any dynamic process, evolve over time. Initially, there's a phase filled with excitement and discovery, often driven by passion and novelty. As time progresses, this high-energy state transitions into a more stable and predictable pattern, which can sometimes be perceived as mundane. The predictability in relationships is not inherently negative; it provides a sense of security and trust. However, the challenge lies in maintaining the balance between comfort and excitement.

Why Some People Seek Excitement Outside the Relationship:
Unmet Needs:

When certain emotional, psychological, or physical needs aren't met within the relationship, individuals might seek fulfillment elsewhere. This isn't necessarily about dissatisfaction but about finding what they feel is missing.
Desire for Novelty:

Humans are naturally inclined towards novelty and excitement. Some individuals have a higher need for variety and may seek new experiences or connections outside their relationship to satisfy this craving.
Emotional Distance:

Over time, couples can drift apart emotionally. If there's a lack of emotional intimacy or unresolved conflicts, one might look for connection outside the relationship.
Validation and Self-Esteem:

Some people seek validation and a boost in self-esteem from new admirers. This external validation can be intoxicating, especially if they feel underappreciated within their current relationship.
Differences Between Men and Women:
While individual differences often overshadow gender differences, certain trends have been observed:

Social Conditioning:

Men and women are often socialized differently, affecting their approach to relationships and infidelity. Men might be conditioned to seek multiple partners to prove their virility, while women might seek emotional connections.
Emotional vs. Physical Needs:

Generally, women may seek emotional fulfillment, while men might be more inclined towards physical satisfaction. However, this is not a rule and varies greatly among individuals.
Communication Styles:

Women often emphasize emotional sharing and communication, which can prevent emotional drift. Men might struggle with this, leading to unmet emotional needs.
Risk vs. Reward:

Men might be more willing to take risks for immediate rewards, while women might consider the broader implications and long-term effects on the family and relationship.
Maintaining Balance and Preventing Predictability:
Open Communication:

Regularly discussing desires, needs, and concerns can prevent emotional drift and unmet needs.
Shared Activities:

Engaging in new activities together can reignite the spark and bring novelty into the relationship.
Emotional Intimacy:

Building and maintaining emotional intimacy through shared experiences, empathy, and understanding can strengthen the bond.

Individuals should reflect on their own needs and communicate them effectively. Understanding oneself is key to understanding the relationship dynamics.
Appreciation and Gratitude:

Regularly expressing appreciation and gratitude can boost self-esteem and reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship.
In the end, each relationship is unique, and understanding the individual needs and dynamics at play is essential. By fostering open communication, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect, couples can navigate the phases of their relationship with greater ease and fulfillment.

Ravi Mittal260 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

Asked on - May 20, 2024Hindi

Hello . I am Samrat and in past I have asked many questions. Recently I have gone through a lot of infidelity cases. The one thing that crosses my mind is that ", Are those people who cheat in their relationship have some common personality traits " , not everyone but most of them ? Because I used to think that anyone can cheat based on circumstances and no one should judge earlier whether one is cheater or not and neither all the cheater are necessarily bad persons. But the more I am delving into it the more I am getting a feeling that these are specific kind of person not all but most of them like they basically withdraw themselves from relationship no what his/her partner is doing for them. they are mostly self-centred etc. because if any reason can support their argument about cheating it should be apply to everyone. But as we all know both male and suffer but don't get indulge into such kind of activities. I request please respond Hope you're fine Regards Samrat
Ans: Hello Samrat,

That's an interesting take and thanks for sharing your thoughts. Infidelity is very complex and though inexcusable, there are certain circumstances when people are forced to make choices that they would not normally. For instance, couples in unhappy marriages are often seen cheating on their partners. Even though it's unethical, we don't have a clear idea of what pushed them to make such a decision. Having said that, I agree that you might be onto something- in fact, research shows that there are, at certain times, some common attributes in people who tend to cheat. Narcissism, commitment issues, impulsivity, and the like are often observed among people who indulge in infidelity.

But even though these traits might be common among some individuals, it does not apply to all. Situational factors should be weighed in before evaluating.

I hope this helps.

Anu Krishna1054 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

Asked on - Dec 03, 2023Hindi

First of all, thanks for your answering my previous question. I am still unable to accept that a woman who has relatively happy marriage and children is getting involve with other men despite warning and claiming that he is only friend and jeopardizing her marriage. Let this kind of situation happens with me . How will I proceed when I come to know that my wife is talking and meeting to another man even after my warning for (let say) more than 5 years and saying that she has not committed adultery ? Your answer will be appreciated
Ans: Dear Samrat,
I apologize if I am incorrect. But I seem to notice that you keep asking the same question in different ways. It will help if you actually state what is bothering you.
You not willing ;to accept a woman who has relatively happy marriage and children is getting involve with other men despite warning and claiming that he is only friend and jeopardizing her marriage'? Is this about someone that you know? Or is it something that you want to know out of curiosity? If it is only a healthy debate that you seek, I suggest that there are other platforms that encourage answers and responses as a debate. You may want to ask these questions there.
If it is indeed about you having this problem with your wife, then ask so...also as Gurus, it becomes easy for us to address a person's challenge if they come straight to the point. I hope I am making sense.

Ifs and Buts in life are many...are you suspecting that your wife is in a relationship outside of marriage?
I ask because you have mentioned: How will I proceed when I come to know...does this mean that you know or you are expecting this or you have your doubts?
If you know, simply ask her...she does have the responsibility within the marriage to let you know of this.

If you don't know or are playing on your doubts due to your beliefs of: I am unable to accept that a woman getting involved despite warning...Then know that your lack of trust will kill your marriage...

So, my suggestion...do come to the point and ask your question directly. You will be able to leverage this platform better and find a path to your challenges.

All the best!

Kanchan Rai294 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked on - Dec 05, 2023Hindi

Hello ma'am hope you are fine and doing well! My question is regarding with your previous two question-answers. In 1st question a man's wife has confessed to him that she was in contact with another man and in second question a man discovered his wife was in relation with another man as she was feeling emotionally down. So my question is that how can be determined that our partner is cheating as many of us are in contact or talking to our friends from opposite gender. How can we draw boundaries because in both the above cases at first glance it doesn't seems wrong if they were just talking to another men . But still it is cheating. Please clear my doubts
Ans: Hello Samrat,
I am doing well, thank you for asking. hope you are doing well too, coming to your question determining whether a partner is cheating can be a sensitive and complex issue. It's important to recognize that the definition of cheating can vary from person to person and from relationship to relationship. What one person considers acceptable behavior may be seen as a breach of trust by another. Open and honest communication is crucial in any relationship. Clearly express your expectations, boundaries, and feelings to your partner. Discuss what each of you considers acceptable behavior and what constitutes a breach of trust. Setting boundaries collaboratively helps ensure that both partners are comfortable with the agreed-upon rules. If you have a gut feeling that something is off, don't ignore it. While intuition is not foolproof, it can be a valuable signal that something may need addressing. Trust your instincts but also approach the situation with a level-headed mindset. Cheating is not always about physical involvement. Emotional infidelity, where a partner develops a deep emotional connection with someone else, can be just as damaging to a relationship. Discuss how you both define emotional boundaries A healthy relationship often involves transparency. This doesn't mean constant surveillance, but it does involve being open about friendships, activities, and interactions. Hiding communication or being secretive may raise concerns. Trust is built on respecting boundaries. Make sure you're not excessively invading your partner's privacy without valid reasons. It's important to reflect on your own expectations and ensure they are realistic. While it's reasonable to expect honesty and faithfulness, being overly controlling or possessive can strain a relationship.

Remember, the key is to have open and ongoing communication with your partner. Building and maintaining trust is a continuous process that requires effort from both sides. If you have concerns, addressing them constructively rather than making assumptions is the best way to move forward.

Anu Krishna1054 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 10, 2023

Asked on - Oct 17, 2023Hindi


Anu Krishna1054 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

Asked on - Oct 14, 2023Hindi

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