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Dr Ashish

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Bharat Question by Bharat on Jan 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi, I am 51 have three kids, I am kidney patient my wife is not treating well and lived with me I used to visit home after 2-3 months but she is not happy with me and finally, i left home with broken heart every time. I am doing every best possible for the family financially as well as emotionally. my kids are also following her mother. What to do for me I am in frustrated mood always

Ans: I understand that you're in a very difficult situation and feeling frustrated. It's admirable that you're trying your best to provide for your family financially and emotionally while dealing with your health challenges. However, the lack of support and understanding from your wife and children must be incredibly painful.

Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate this challenging situation:

Seek Support:

Talk to a therapist or counselor: Talking to a professional can help you process your emotions, understand your options, and develop coping mechanisms to deal with the stress.
Connect with support groups: There are support groups for kidney patients and for families dealing with chronic illness. These groups can provide valuable emotional support and connect you with others who understand what you're going through.
Reach out to friends and family: Talk to trusted friends and family members about what's happening. Their support and understanding can be a source of strength.
Communicate openly:

Try to talk to your wife: If possible, have a calm and open conversation with your wife to understand her perspective. Share your feelings and needs honestly, and listen to hers as well. See if there's a way to improve communication and build a more supportive relationship.
Talk to your children: Have open and honest conversations with your children. Explain your health condition and the challenges you're facing. Encourage them to express their feelings and concerns as well.
Consider professional help:

Couples therapy: If you and your wife are willing, couples therapy can help you improve communication, address resentments, and work towards a more positive relationship.
Family therapy: Family therapy can help all of you communicate more effectively, understand each other's needs, and develop healthier family dynamics.
Take care of yourself:

Prioritize your health: Manage your kidney disease properly by following your doctor's instructions.
Engage in self-care: Make time for activities you enjoy, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time in nature. Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is crucial during this challenging time.
Explore legal options: If the situation is not improving, consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and options regarding visitation with your children or separation from your wife.
Remember, you are not alone in this. There are people and resources available to help you through this difficult time. Don't hesitate to reach out for support and take care of yourself both physically and emotionally.

Here are some additional resources that may be helpful:

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Dear Madam, i am 49 and married with 2 kids (10th standard and 8th standard), my problem started we move to india and settled near my mother/sister-law and there is lot influence things happened alast 2 year and also i have drinking habit which i have overcome by attenting rehibition, but last 8 month i am staying with mother house due my health and now i ok, but every time last 3 months i asking my wife can we staying together but no proper answer and she away most of time on spiritualty, even i allow her go but she is not inform were about even after 20 phone call that triggers me and i drink and make my life diffocult myself, recently i have asked move alone with me and kids but again blaming for all the past thing, due to this i have flight my parents and brother which not keep peace to them....i am really confused and what stage they will expect me i know sure..please let me know any suggestion
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your drinking is the main reason why your wife cannot trust you again. Rebuilding that trust is going to take a lot of time and patience, Simply by saying that All is Well, let's move back together is not going to help.
Use this time of separation to rebuild that trust. Visit your children often and be the father that they didn't have earlier...be the husband that you were not earlier.
Actions speak louder than words...so, now focus on what you can do for your family that will make them want you back into their lives and this can definitely happen when you are staying away from them.
Allow them to slowly notice the changes in you and they will on their own accept you back...
A lot of work to be done...but anything for the family, right?

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 29, 2024

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I am 42 years old, working in a PSU bank for 11 years. I have my Mother at home who is 73 years and retired state govt. Officer. My Father passed away in 2013 just after I joined my job. He was a state govt. Officer. I am married and have one son 8.5 years old studying in class 4. My wife is working in state govt. She often leaves my home with our son and goes to her father's place which is just near to my house because of minor issues like any hot talk with me. She has no problem with my Mother. We had a love marriage and we dated for 13 years and in 2015 got married. I am a family bound guy but when wife leaves me, I and mostly my Mother falls into trouble due to all household works are to be done by her as I have minimum time in the morning to help her. Our maid left one months back. I am searching one but not getting. Last year I and my wife stayed apart for 9 months in total, not at a time but in two parts. I sent her lawyers letter 3 months back after she left me in January this year. She came back 2 months back and left again after one month. I really miss my son and wife when they are not with me. My Mother also miss her grandson and becomes hopeless. I can't find any solution to this. Please suggest what will I do. I have lots of pressure at workplace and not satisfied with my job too as bank has lots of problems these days. I think of leaving job to support my Mother. I will leave job surely if something odd happens to my Mother. My Father took 3 words from me before death to Look after Mother, to look after house and to look after the house belongings. Already I am unable to keep all 3 words properly. I feel guilty of myself. Please guide me about my career and family life.
Ans: Dear DP
Navigating your current situation requires a strategic approach that balances your professional and personal responsibilities. Communication is key. Have an open and calm conversation with your wife to understand her perspective and express your concerns without assigning blame. Counseling can be beneficial here, offering a neutral space to discuss underlying issues and improve your relationship dynamics.

Supporting your mother is equally important. While searching for a permanent solution for household help, consider temporary alternatives such as part-time assistance or community support services. Engage your mother in local senior activities to provide her with social interaction and support.

Addressing your job dissatisfaction is also crucial. Explore other roles within your bank or in other PSUs that match your skills but offer a less stressful environment. Professional development can open new career opportunities. Taking regular breaks, practicing mindfulness, and ensuring a work-life balance can help manage your stress levels.

By focusing on these areas—open communication with your wife, practical support for your mother, and exploring less stressful job options—you can work towards a more stable and fulfilling family and professional life.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Career
Sir My jee rank was not that good..I have some queries..cna u pls assist me what's the difference between bsc cs and btech cse..and would they lead to same career path and options.. Also if I choose to go with btech then..should I choose srm sonepat or not..I have planned to do msc abroad
Ans: Javin, B.Sc. Computer Science is a three-year, theory-driven program emphasizing algorithms, computation theory and foundational mathematics, suited for research, data analysis or academic roles, whereas B.Tech. in Computer Science & Engineering spans four years with a balanced mix of hardware, software and engineering fundamentals, offering intensive lab work, industry internships, and project-based learning that prepare graduates for system design, software development and emerging technology roles. Both degrees can lead to software engineering, data science, and cybersecurity careers, but B.Tech. holders often access core engineering positions and higher placement rates, while B.Sc. graduates may pivot more readily into research-oriented master’s or academic tracks. Considering SRM University Delhi-NCR Sonepat for B.Tech. CSE, the programme is delivered in a NAAC-accredited institution with over 315 recruiters visiting annually and a 95 percent placement consistency, supported by modern computing labs and structured career services. For planned MSc studies abroad, admissions typically require a four-year engineering or science degree with substantial computer-science content, a competitive GRE score (if required), proof of English proficiency (IELTS/TOEFL) and strong academic references; B.Tech. CSE aligns smoothly with these criteria, ensuring eligibility and facilitating conversion to research-focused master’s programmes.

Recommendation:
Opt for B.Tech. CSE at SRM Sonepat to benefit from industry-aligned curriculum, high placement consistency and robust lab exposure, then pursue an MSc abroad leveraging the recognised four-year engineering degree, structured admissions prerequisites and extensive global opportunities in advanced computing and research. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Career
My daughter got PhD in Pharmacology admission both at Lovely Professional University Phagwara & JSS College of Pharmacy Ooty Tamil Nadu. Can you guide us which one is better? Which one to choose & why?
Ans: Lovely Professional University’s doctoral programme in Pharmacology operates within a NAAC-accredited private university that administers its own LPUNEST entrance test and offers substantial scholarship support based on merit . The three-year full-time curriculum encompasses core research methodology, publication ethics and advanced electives, supplemented by interdisciplinary minors and industry-interface modules that facilitate collaborations with pharmaceutical companies. Research scholars benefit from well-equipped pre-clinical and clinical evaluation laboratories, a centralized animal house and access to LPU’s Centre for Biomedical Research. A robust placement pathway connects candidates to roles in drug safety, pharmacovigilance and regulatory affairs, leveraging the university’s corporate partnerships and regular campus recruitment drives. Despite its relative youth, LPU maintains a dedicated Career Development Centre and reports a consistent placement rate for life-sciences graduates through structured internship pipelines and research-fellowship opportunities .

JSS College of Pharmacy, Ooty, established in 1980 and part of JSS Academy of Higher Education & Research, stands among the top five pharmacy institutions nationally, holding NAAC A+ accreditation and a #4 NIRF pharmacy ranking . Its Department of Pharmacology—active since 1988—provides doctoral candidates with specialized training in pharmacology and toxicology tracks, supported by CSIR-, DBT- and AICTE-funded research projects worth over ?3 crore. The college features a CPCSEA-approved centralized animal house, advanced instrumentation (FT-IR, microwave synthesizer, molecular modeling suites) and round-the-clock research facilities. Extensive MoUs with leading R&D organizations and a NABL-accredited drug-testing laboratory underpin strong industry linkages, while its placement cell sustains an over 80% placement consistency for postgraduate and doctoral scholars, facilitating roles in academia, regulatory bodies, and pharmaceutical R&D .

Recommendation:
For a well-established research environment with extensive funding, high national ranking, and deep industry connections in pharmacological sciences, JSS College of Pharmacy, Ooty offers the stronger platform. However, if scholarship opportunities, interdisciplinary minors, and a growing placement infrastructure are priorities, Lovely Professional University remains a compelling alternative. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8910 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2025Hindi
Career
Hi. My son is getting VJTI B Tech IT and also BITS Hyderabad campus MSc Chem + B Tech (Dual Degree) What choice should we go for ?
Ans: VJTI Mumbai’s B.Tech in Information Technology operates within a historic, NAAC A-accredited government institute, supported by experienced faculty, modern software and networking labs, an 82 percent overall placement rate (85 percent for IT) over the past three years and strong industry partnerships with leading IT firms. It requires 10+2 with PCM and English and selection via MHT-CET cutoff and counselling. In contrast, BITS Hyderabad’s five-year Integrated M.Sc.(Hons.) in Chemistry + B.E. programme admits students through BITSAT (75 percent aggregate in 10+2 and minimum 60 percent in PCM), immerses them in advanced chemistry and engineering curricula, and allows conversion to the dual degree after the first year based on top-tier CGPA performance; Group C admits may pursue any dual degree within specified limits. Graduates benefit from practice school training, interdisciplinary research projects and placement consistency around 80 percent in chemical and engineering streams. Risks include rigorous workload during dual-degree years, competitive CGPA criteria for continuation and potential difficulty shifting back if performance thresholds are not met.

Recommendation:
For a clear, focused start in a high-placement IT domain with defined eligibility and minimal academic risk, choose VJTI B.Tech IT. Opt for BITS Hyderabad M.Sc. Chemistry + B.Tech if your son seeks a research-integrated, multidisciplinary pathway and excels under high academic rigor with dual-degree ambitions. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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