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Should I Leave My 6-Year Marriage for Someone New?

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025
Relationship

I m (30 F) married and 2 year old baby....I fall in love with a guy (26 M) what should I do?...I am not happy in this marriage 6 year of marriage no physical attraction no physical intimacy at all.....what should I do I love the new guy what challenges I have to face? Please guide me

Ans: This is a deeply personal situation, and navigating it will require thoughtfulness, honesty, and courage. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you process your feelings and decide your next steps:

Step 1: Reflect on Your Current Marriage
Identify the Core Issues: Lack of physical intimacy and emotional connection are significant concerns. Reflect on whether there are other underlying issues contributing to your unhappiness
.
Assess Efforts Made: Have you and your spouse communicated about these issues? Have you tried couples counseling or sought professional help to address the challenges in your marriage?

Consider Your Commitment: Marriage is a partnership that sometimes requires hard work to rekindle the bond. Ask yourself if you're willing to explore ways to rebuild your connection.

Step 2: Understand Your Feelings for the New Person

Excitement vs. Stability: New relationships often bring excitement and a sense of emotional fulfillment that can contrast with a long-term relationship's challenges. Be mindful of whether this is a genuine connection or an escape from your marriage’s difficulties.

Consider Practicality: A relationship with the new person will come with its own challenges. Are they ready to commit to you, and do they understand your current situation?

Step 3: Evaluate the Impact of Your Decisions

On Your Child: Your decisions will profoundly affect your child’s life. Consider how any changes might impact their emotional well-being.

On Yourself: Think about the long-term implications of leaving your marriage versus staying and working on it. Either path will have challenges, but personal growth is possible in both.

Challenges You May Face If You Pursue the New Relationship
Judgment from Society and Family: There may be backlash from your spouse, family, or friends, especially since a child is involved.

Complex Transition: Ending a marriage, co-parenting, and starting a new relationship can be emotionally and logistically difficult.

Emotional Processing: Even if you choose the new relationship, unresolved feelings about your marriage might linger.

Step 4: Communicate Honestly

With Your Spouse: It’s important to have an honest conversation about your feelings and the state of your marriage. This is necessary whether you choose to leave or stay.

With Yourself: Be truthful about your motivations. Are you seeking happiness, avoiding pain, or looking for something that might not solve the deeper issues?

Step 5: Seek Professional Help

Individual Counseling: A therapist can help you understand your feelings and guide you in making a decision that aligns with your values and goals.

Couples Counseling: If there’s any desire to salvage your marriage, professional mediation can provide tools to rebuild intimacy and communication.

Key Considerations

A new relationship may feel like the answer, but lasting happiness comes from within. Ensure you're addressing your own needs and self-growth first.

Making life changes, especially involving your child, should be done with caution and clarity about your long-term vision.

This is a difficult crossroads, but with careful thought and intentional action, you can make a choice that feels right for you and your family.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 08, 2022

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Relationship
 Hi Anu, I am a married 32 year old woman, a central govt employee with a 4 year old son. Last year my husband left for some work for 8 to 9 months. He became very busy. He doesn’t give me time at all, very dry, never shows love, goes out with me only after a lot of insistence. He’s always busy with phone and work. But we were happy. I adjusted with everything. But after we left, I started feeling very lonely. I signed up for an extra marital app and started chatting with a man from the same city. After chatting for 6 months, we decided to meet. He is married, and has a 12 year old daughter. I feel happy in his company. He is caring and pampers me. Even after my husband was back we met. We meet once a week after our office hours. We get physically intimate once in two to three months. We do not disturb each other during family time. We talk to each every day for 10 to 15 minutes. Many a times I felt like I was cheating my husband and decided to move on. But I am not able to get over his love and care. I will be transferred to another city in 2 to 3 months. So we decided to have a baby and be in touch always.Pls guide me if am right or wrong.Need your advice. I can't share it with anyone.
Ans:

Dear MS,

You did know the perils of an extra marital app and knew what you were getting into.

You have two ways of looking at your situation.

1. If you choose to continue, you are constantly going to have to juggle between your marriage and this relationship

2. If you choose to be exclusive into your marriage, then you are going to possibly be with a man who is who he is

Now, which side of the fence feels more comfortable to you, is something that you need to assess. Also, external validation is something all of us fall prey to sometime or the other in our lifetime.

Ask yourself:

  • What is lacking in my marriage that is forcing me to step out and explore?
  • Have I tried to communicate my needs to my husband?
  • Are there things that I could have done differently to have a better relationship with my husband?

This might give you a chance to understand where you are and what you can do to give your marriage a fair chance if that is what you wish to do.

Whatever you choose, do remember basing your happiness on an external source will always be short lived and all it gives you is heartache.

Be wise, choose wisely and maybe it’s time to laugh a lot, take a step back, breathe and look at what IS in a different way.

If you still waver, do know that whatever is going on also has an impact on your son. So, steady yourself first, do a reality check and then choose.

Be well and happy!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1757 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed. But i dont love him. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022 i had communication with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him about my marriage, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me doing wrong, told me to not do. But still i want to continue and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. I am doing correct or not please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The fact that you are asking me whether it is correct or not shows that you are absolutely questioning yourself...
You yourself said that your husband loves you more than anything...then what makes you go around in circles searching for love and attention outside? Obviously you are unable to appreciate what you have...when you can't see that you have a stable life, all you think of doing is thinking of the boyfriend who did not accept you and the young boy who all of 23 is immature and financially unstable with who you want to live with!
Are things described in a nutshell now? You are free to make your choices but also know that you will have to bear the consequences.
At 23,
What sort of a life ahead he visualized for himself?
Does it include you?
What is the guarantee that he will not meet younger women later on?
And if you wish to start a family considering that he is already 23, does he have the capability to support you and the baby?
- Have you considered all of this?
Kindly step up for yourself and start thinking rather than running around in a scattered way looking for someone else to make you happy...

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |459 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 34 years old, married, with no children yet, but we plan to start a family by the end of 2026. Our monthly household take-home income is 4.4 lakh. We have cumulative EMIs of 1.50 lakhs per month: (1) Home Loan (1 Cr Outstanding, 9 years left): 1.1 lacs per month, (2) Car Loan (8 lacs outstanding 4 years left): 25k per month (3) Personal Loan (4 years left) - 15k per month. Our investments include 50 lakh in stocks and mutual funds, and 30 lakh in PF. I have a term plan with cover till age 85, costing additional 1.3 lakh per year in premium for next 7 years. Me and my wife are covered by our employer for medical insurance, and our parents will also have PSU pension and medical cover after retirement. We spend around 1.2 lakh per month on household expenses in Gurgaon. We invest 1 lakh monthly having 20-90 split in stocks and MFs and keep 2 lakh in an emergency savings account. My long-term goal is to pay off all loans, build a financial buffer to move back to my hometown a tier 2 city and do remote work from there - this might reduce our househol income by 30-40%. Given these details, how should I plan our investments to achieve the goals and how many years are we looking to achieve this?
Ans: Hi,

You have done great investments at such age. Let us go through the details one by one:
1. You have a term cover and health insurance for yourself as well as family.
2. You should have emergency fund of 6 months' worth expenses in liquid mutual funds for uncertain times, 2 lakhs is way too less.
3. Currently 3 loans - Home, Car and Personal. All loans will be finished in 9 and 4 years respectively(total EMI - 1.5 lakhs). Overall loans are high. Try to close PErsonal loand first followed by car loan to reduce the EMI burden.
4. 50 lakhs current holdings in stocks and mutual funds.
5. 30 lakhs in PF.
6. 1.4 lakh monthly expenses.
7. Current SIP - 1 lakh permonth in stocks and mutual funds.

You have build a great wealth for yourself at your age. You are also planning to start a family. Keep your invesments like this with consistency and you will finish loans and be able to move to your home as well.

Although direct stock investment needs loads of time and research - hence not recommended. It is advisable for you to keep your investments limited to mutual funds only. And it would be great to take a professional's help as even a slightest mistake can break or make your wealth.

Before relocating after few years, try to maximize your investments at the maximum potential and let compounding do its magic. Try to invest more than 1 lakh per month in mutual funds for a secured future.

Doing and managing investments along with your job is not recommended. It is always better to go for professional advice when it comes to money.

You can connect with a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |459 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Advait sir, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Hi,

It is great that you are investing since 2017. Long investments and patience always gives results.
You can easily achieve your goal corpus by the time you turn 58, if investment done correctly.

The funds you mentioned have so much overlapping and scattered. It needs rework and complete reallocation. Maximum of 5 funds should be there. Take the help of a professional to align your portfolio with your goal and customized profile.

A random portfolio like yours can create an opposite impact and generate negative to zero returns.

And try to increase the monthly SIP by 10% each year. This will take care of inflation power.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |459 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2025

Money
Hello and namaskar.. I am 36 years old. Need your guidance in the following funds- (a) parag parekh flexi cap - 7500/- per month (B) GROWW nifty midcap 150 index fund -2500/- per month (C) mirae asset ELLS tax saver -5000/- (D) pGIM india mid cap opp. Fund -5000/- (E) quant small cap fund-4000/- (F) ICICI prudential equity and debt fund - 3000 (G) HDFC FLEXI CAP FUND - 4000 (H) Uti nifty 50 index fund - 5000 Additionally I want to invest 1lakh annually. Tell me where to invest this additional amount. These funds are ok or I should exit from any fund and invest in any other fund. I want to get 2 crore till the end of 2035. Am I going on the right track.
Ans: Hi Rajesh,

Appreciate your dedication in investing in mutual funds for long term. The funds selected by you are very random and not recommended for your goal. Overall investments are also not in alignment, this portfolio is a very random one.
Currently you are investing 36000 per month - keep your investments simple in largecap, midcap, smallcap and mutlicap fund. Keep additional 1 lakh as well in these funds.

You should consider exiting funds like quant and shift to more stable ones.

Your current funds are direct, but direct funds are over-rated. A random portfolio like this can instead give less returns than a professionally designed one. It is always better to go for a regular portfolio suggested by a professional. Proper funds with a designed dedicated plan will help you reach your goal of 2 crores in 10 years in an efficient way.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |459 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 24, 2025

Money
I am 62 years old and I forgot to apply for a monthly pension from EPFO, even though I worked for my previous company for 13 years. I am currently working for another company, but when I try to apply online, I don't see Form 10D; only Form 31 is showing, even though I have left my previous company. pls confirm me what is a issue.
Ans: Hi,

The issue is that you are still employed and online application for monthly pension i.e. Form 10D is available only after you have left service and updated your date of exit on the EPFO portal.
But as you are currently active with a new employer, the system only permits Form 31 for partial withdrawals.

Since you meet the requirements for a superannuation pension (age 62 with 13 years of service), please follow these steps to proceed:

1. Verify Your Service History - Check the "Service History" section of your UAN portal. Ensure your previous employer has officially updated your Date of Exit. The online system cannot process a pension claim without this status update.
2. Use the Offline Application Method - If the online portal remains restricted or encounters technical errors, you must submit a physical application.
* Download Form 10D: Obtain the hard copy from the official EPFO website.
* Employer Attestation: Complete the form and have it signed by your previous employer.
* Alternative Attestation: If your previous employer is unavailable or the company has closed, you may have the form attested by a Gazetted Officer, a Magistrate, or your Bank Manager.
3. Submission Details - Submit the signed form to your regional EPFO office along with the following:
* Three passport-sized photographs.
* A cancelled cheque (for the account where you wish to receive the pension).
* Valid proof of age.

For real-time status updates or specific account queries, you can reach the **EPFO helpline at 14470.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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