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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
suresh Question by suresh on Jul 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

i have physical relation with my elder brother wife with mutual understanding since last 8 years, now she want to stop this, i also want that, but again there is any situation create by destiny , we found some space alone and done the same again. so plz suggest what to do to stop this.

Ans: It's commendable that both of you recognize the need to stop this relationship for the sake of maintaining family integrity and personal values. Here are some steps you can take to create boundaries and prevent this situation from recurring:

Open Communication: Have a direct and honest conversation with her about the importance of ending this relationship. Reiterate that you both want to stop and agree on maintaining firm boundaries.

Avoid Alone Time: Make a conscious effort to avoid situations where you might be alone together. This can include family gatherings, social events, or any scenario where you might find yourselves in a private setting.

Set Clear Boundaries: Establish clear and specific boundaries. This can include physical distance, limiting personal interactions, and refraining from engaging in intimate conversations.

Create Accountability: Inform a trusted friend or family member about your decision to stop this relationship. Having someone who can provide support and hold you accountable can be very helpful.

Focus on Your Commitments: Redirect your energy and attention towards your own relationship and commitments. Invest in strengthening your relationship with your spouse and addressing any underlying issues there.

Seek Professional Help: Consider seeking counseling or therapy to work through the emotional and psychological aspects of this situation. A professional can help you develop strategies to maintain boundaries and resolve any residual feelings.

Develop New Habits: Engage in new activities or hobbies that can occupy your time and reduce the chances of encountering tempting situations.

Stay Mindful: Practice mindfulness and self-awareness to recognize and control impulses that may lead to crossing boundaries again.

By consciously implementing these strategies, you can create a supportive environment that reinforces your decision to stop this relationship and maintain respect for your family dynamics.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |326 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 21, 2024

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Relationship
Mam, I was in physical relation ship for 2.5 yrs with one woman. We both have families. We met each either at her home or lodges. But suddenly 2 yrs back she stopped all things completely. But i have zero percentage sex life with my wife. So I am forcing her to continue it. But she is refusing for her family sake. So how can i covence her? Or may be it is not possible now.
Ans: Dear Amar,
I understand that you're in a challenging and complex situation. It's important to recognize that attempting to force someone back into a relationship, especially one that was secretive and has since ended, is not ethical or respectful. The woman you were involved with has made it clear she wants to prioritize her family, and it's crucial to respect her decision.

Your frustration likely stems from a lack of fulfillment in your marriage, particularly regarding your sex life. This is a significant issue that needs to be addressed directly within the context of your marriage. Open and honest communication with your wife about your needs and concerns is essential. Express how you feel and discuss the impact it’s having on you emotionally and physically. It's possible that your wife might also have unspoken issues or concerns, and addressing these together can pave the way for a deeper understanding and connection.

Seeking professional help, such as a marriage counselor or therapist, can be incredibly beneficial. A neutral third party can facilitate conversations that might be difficult to have on your own and can provide tools and strategies to improve your intimacy and overall relationship.

Respecting boundaries is fundamental. The woman you were involved with has chosen to end the affair for her family's sake, and continuing to pressure her can cause significant harm to both her family and yours. It's important to let go and focus on the relationships that are truly sustainable and healthy.

Consider focusing on your personal growth and fulfillment outside of your relationship issues. Engaging in activities and interests that bring you joy can help alleviate some of your frustration and provide a new perspective on your needs and desires.

Ultimately, addressing the core issues in your marriage with empathy, respect, and professional support is the best approach. This way, you can work towards finding fulfillment and resolving the underlying issues in a constructive and respectful manner.

..Read more

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