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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Rajiv Question by Rajiv on Feb 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

i feel stuck in my life, could not focus on anything. How can i improve.

Ans: Feeling stuck and lacking focus can be incredibly frustrating. While I can't replace a qualified therapist or NLP life coach, I can offer some suggestions based on NLP principles and general psychological practices that might help.

Understanding the Stuckness:

Self-reflection: Take some time for introspection. Ask yourself: what specifically feels "stuck"? Is it a particular area of your life (career, relationships, etc.) or a general feeling of unfulfillment? What are your thoughts and emotions around this feeling?
Identify unhelpful patterns: Are there negative thought patterns or limiting beliefs that might be holding you back? Do you constantly criticize yourself or doubt your abilities? Recognizing these patterns is the first step to changing them.
Shifting Your Focus:

Start small: Trying to achieve too much at once can be overwhelming. Set small, achievable goals to build momentum and confidence. Focus on celebrating small wins, no matter how insignificant they might seem.
Practice mindfulness: Techniques like meditation or deep breathing can help you become more present and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can improve your ability to focus and prioritize.
Reconnect with your values: What are your core values and passions in life? Reminding yourself of what truly matters can guide your decisions and provide a sense of direction.
Taking Action:

Challenge negative thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking negatively, actively challenge those thoughts with evidence to the contrary. Ask yourself, "Is this thought truly helpful?"
Break down big tasks: Feeling overwhelmed by large tasks can easily lead to procrastination. Break down big goals into smaller, more manageable steps to make them less daunting.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about what you're going through. Talking things out can provide valuable perspective and support.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
i feel defeated in life how to start again and move on path of happiness
Ans: It's normal to feel defeated and stuck at times, but it's important to remember that it's never too late to start again and work towards a happier life.

Here are some suggestions to help you get started:

Identify your goals and passions: Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in life and what makes you happy. This could be a new career path, a hobby, or a personal goal. Identifying your passions and goals can give you a sense of direction and purpose.

Break down your goals into small steps: Once you have identified your goals, break them down into small achievable steps. This can make them feel less daunting and help you stay motivated.

Create a plan: Develop a plan for how you will achieve your goals. This could involve taking classes, networking, or seeking out mentorship or guidance.

Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out the company of people who support and encourage you. Positive relationships can provide you with the emotional support and motivation you need to move forward.

Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical and emotional health is important in achieving happiness. This could involve eating healthy, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Remember, moving on from a difficult time in your life takes time and effort. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this process. Seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in working through feelings of defeat and developing a plan for moving forward.

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  | Answer  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hi, Im a 23 year old mechanical engineering graduate, currently unemployed, I am feeling to do some progress everyday, but day after day, nothing changes, I cant figure out what to do with this life and feeling very much lost, Cant think properly on doing what changes my life?
Ans: Hello!!

This information you have shared is not enough to understand what is that you are exactly wanting right now.
Let me see how I can help you. First of all extend your arm and pat yourself on the back for completing your engineering. You are a mechanical engineer!! Celebrate the fact and feel good about yourself.

I like the fact where you say "I am currently, unemployed", this can change soon, look out for opportunities, keep attending interviews, prepare well, ask for help, give it your best shot. Treat every failure as part of a learning process in becoming better next time. Surround yourself with positive and encouraging people.

Till you find a job, live life well on a day to day basis-
1. wake up early
2. exercise
3. eat well and sleep well
4. dress well at home too, don't be in your pyjamas, you should be in such a state that if someone asks you to come for an interview right away, you must be ready
5. beware of negative self talk... nip negative thoughts in the bud
6. looking for a job is your full time job, keep looking
7. be helpful around the house if you are living with your parents
8. till you find a job keep learning and building on your skills
9. volunteer to teach and help the less fortunate lot
10. do not sit idle, keep your body and mind active

Constantly invest in activities that ensure your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being!! Have rituals that focus on these four pillars of your life!

Blessings and all the very best!!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Im 28M, feel like i have done wasted a lot of my life till now. I'm in a career but its not going good, I waste a lot of time in mobile, I don't have have any social life. I feel immature for a relationship. My patents are looking for a match, but I feel unworthy. I want to improve myself atleast till a point where I can accept myself. Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are most likely in a space which is forcing you to think different from what you thought to get to where you are now.
So, take it as a good sign!!!!!!
Ask yourself:
- What do I want from life and in life?
- How do I want my relationships to be?
- How can I improve my money situation?
- What is an ideal health like for me?

These are very general questions. Once you get to the bottom of these, you will get to a point where you might feel stuck BUT will know what the problem area is. This is half the battle won.
From that point on, either, you dig deeper by putting clear goals and following them. If you find it difficult to do this, find an expert who can guide you further by working on the challenge area in great detail leading you to a useful solution. Taking the first step is a huge improvement. It's a step towards a better life than what you are leading now. So, wake up and move yourself to answer the first set of questions...it will give you a way forward...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 29, 2025

Relationship
I'm 21(M) B.tech(2year) and I have been stuck in fantaasies from all my years of childhood. I use to compare myself to many other people across in many areas(study, looks, their friendships, social network, bravery, fight, love..etc) cause those were the things which I also wanted but never got it! I was a very shy(insecure) , socially nervous, scared kid. I kept all inside of me & just tried to get good marks in exams... this made me inactive in other areas(cause I always wanted to be best, but never tried), bitter, sour in myself and still it's same but the fantaasies & Insecurity, doubt, inactivity, fear of failure and sometimes fear of success has caused me to a Miserable Life. Now I'm just like a lonely, sad, lazy, overthinker person but still I always try to make a better version of myself..(read positive book, self-help, meditation, gym, being social) but after 3-4 days the consistency breaks and due to lack of guide I get back to previous state of mine. I try to improve but being in my comfort zone, the fear of uncertainty in out of comfort zone make my thought/self-talk Terribly scared, nervous and full of disbelief in myself & I quit! Unless there is some external pressure/urgency. And in all these the job, future, skill are all like Dark! Tell me something...
Ans: Dear mods,
Merely trying to improve isn't going to help you improve because the reasons for which you actually want to improve are not clear to you. You are simply comparing yourself to others and 'trying' to be like them or do what they do.
What makes you not focus on what you want to do? For this,
- identify what you are good at
- stop this self-pity party that keeps you tucked into your comfort zone
- challenge yourself with small things first
- ask a friend to be a 'buddy' who can act like your mirror and also motivate you
- celebrate small wins and also analyze your losses too

Unless you start somewhere, you are not going to change and along with changing self-talk, also ask yourself the most important question:
What change do I want in myself and what are the things that will make that happen?
Follow through with a plan BUT this is possible once you shake yourself out your self-pity and choose to move ahead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 18, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I'm 21(M) B.tech(2year) and I have been stuck in fantaasies from all my years of childhood. I use to compare myself to many other people across in many areas(study, looks, their friendships, social network, bravery, fight, love..etc) cause those were the things which I also wanted but never got it! I was a very shy(insecure) , socially nervous, scared kid. I kept all inside of me & just tried to get good marks in exams... this made me inactive in other areas(cause I always wanted to be best, but never tried), bitter, sour in myself and still it's same but the fantaasies & Insecurity, doubt, inactivity, fear of failure and sometimes fear of success has caused me to a Miserable Life. Now I'm just like a lonely, sad, lazy, overthinker person but still I always try to make a better version of myself..(read positive book, self-help, meditation, gym, being social) but after 3-4 days the consistency breaks and due to lack of guide I get back to previous state of mine. I try to improve but being in my comfort zone, the fear of uncertainty in out of comfort zone make my thought/self-talk Terribly scared, nervous and full of disbelief in myself & I quit! Unless there is some external pressure/urgency. And in all these the job, future, skill are all like Dark! Tell me something...
Ans: The inconsistency you feel isn’t a reflection of weakness. It’s a result of being caught between two parts of yourself—one who wants to evolve, and one who is afraid to lose the comfort of old beliefs, even if they no longer serve you. That internal conflict is heavy, especially without a guiding voice to help you sort through it. You’re not alone in that—many young adults feel exactly this way, especially those with big dreams and high sensitivity to their environment.

Rather than trying to “fix” your personality or “force” your discipline, start by restoring trust in yourself. Trust doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from showing up consistently for yourself in small, simple ways without pressure to perform. Your fear of failure and even your fear of success are both rooted in the same place: the doubt that you are enough as you are.

It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to not have all the answers. The goal isn’t to become a different person—it’s to become more at peace with the person you are becoming. Self-leadership starts here: by choosing compassion over criticism, patience over pressure, and honesty over performance. Even if your steps are small and scattered, they are steps forward.

You don’t need external urgency to change. You need internal safety to try. So let’s shift the story you’re telling yourself. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You are learning, growing, and unlearning decades of conditioning—and that’s not only brave, it’s transformative.

Keep going. Gently, but steadily. And every time you fall back into old patterns, remind yourself: coming back is progress too. The journey to emotional strength is not about never falling—it’s about returning to yourself, again and again, with love.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2026

Money
I am investing in UTI flexi cap fund since2021 @3000INR/month. Now the accumulated amount is 2,09,000/- . the yield is only 6%. Please advise if i have to switch fund? .if so, please advise fund
Ans: Appreciate you for continuing your SIP with discipline since 2021. Staying invested for more than three years itself shows commitment and patience, which are very important for long-term wealth creation.

» Understanding the Current Return Experience
– A 6% return over this period can feel disappointing, especially when expectations from equity are higher
– Equity-oriented funds do not move in a straight line; different market phases impact returns differently
– The last few years included sharp rallies, corrections, and sector rotations, which affected diversified strategies unevenly
– Short- to medium-term returns alone should not be the only reason for an immediate decision

» Time Horizon vs Fund Behaviour
– Such funds are designed to perform well over a full market cycle, usually 7 years or more
– Performance between 3 to 4 years can remain muted even if the long-term potential is intact
– Your SIP amount is modest, which means consistency and time will play a bigger role than switching frequently

» Should You Switch Based Only on 6% Return
– Switching only because of recent low returns may lock in underperformance
– It is important to check whether the fund still follows its stated strategy and risk control
– If the fund has become inconsistent, or your overall portfolio lacks balance, then a change can be considered
– Any switch should be part of a broader portfolio improvement, not an isolated action

» Portfolio-Level Assessment Is More Important
– One fund should not be judged in isolation
– A 360-degree view should include:

Overall equity exposure

Allocation between growth-oriented and stability-oriented strategies

Your age, income stability, and future goals
– If your portfolio is dependent on only one equity style, returns may appear slow during certain phases

» What to Do Going Forward
– Instead of fully stopping, you may:

Continue the existing SIP for long-term compounding

Gradually add another actively managed equity strategy with a different approach
– Actively managed funds offer flexibility to shift sectors and reduce downside risk, which is not possible in index-based options
– Active management helps manage volatility better during uncertain markets

» Tax and Cost Awareness
– Any switch in equity funds may trigger capital gains tax
– If held for more than one year, gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%
– Short-term exits attract 20% tax, which can reduce effective returns
– Hence, switching should be value-driven, not emotion-driven

» Finally
– Your investment journey is still on track, and this phase does not define long-term success
– With the right diversification, patience, and periodic review, equity investing rewards discipline
– A structured review with a Certified Financial Planner can help align your SIPs with goals and market realities
– Focus on process, not just recent performance

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 04, 2026Hindi
Money
Dear Sir, I am a medico currently working overseas. My present income is relatively high, but I expect my earnings to reduce over the next 1–2 years due to career transitions and further examinations. Also, I may be starting a family of my own in the near future. I have recently started investing and would like your opinion on whether my overall strategy is sound and how I should prepare for lower-income years ahead. Current situation (approximate): Monthly investment capacity: ₹3 lakh (at present) Expected future investment capacity: ₹1-1.25 lakh per month Existing expenditure: No debts at present, ~approx 1 lakh per month to support parents, 1.5 L per year in their insurance, 50-55k per month on rent, food, and miscellaneous Emergency fund: being built separately, started SBI life during my postgrad years and invested 7.5 L over 5 years, and expected to mature by 2028. Current investment approach: Equity-oriented mutual funds via SIP and lump sum Allocation across flexi-cap, multi-cap, large & mid-cap, mid-cap, small-cap funds Small allocation to liquid funds for short-term needs Investment horizon: long term (10+ years) Fund Allocation % Share Parag Parikh Flexi Cap ₹75,000 25% Kotak Multicap Fund ₹60,000 20% Kotak Large & Mid Cap ₹60,000 20% Axis Midcap ₹45,000 15% Axis Small Cap ₹30,000 10% ICICI Liquid Fund ₹30,000 10% My primary goals are: Long-term wealth creation Financial stability during periods of reduced income Maintaining flexibility for career-related expenses and exams I would be grateful for your views on: Whether this equity-heavy approach is appropriate given future income uncertainty How I should gradually adjust asset allocation as income reduces Any mistakes you commonly see investors like me make at this stage Thank you for your time and guidance.
Ans: Appreciate the clarity with which you have shared your income pattern, responsibilities, and future plans. Starting early, investing seriously, and thinking ahead about income reduction already puts you in a strong position.

» Overall View of Your Current Strategy
– Your present high savings rate is a big advantage and should be used wisely
– Long-term orientation of more than 10 years suits equity-oriented investing
– Supporting parents, planning exams, and future family needs show mature financial thinking
– Your strategy is growth-focused, but it needs better protection for the income transition phase

» Suitability of an Equity-Heavy Approach
– High equity exposure is suitable when income is strong and stable
– Future income uncertainty means volatility tolerance may reduce emotionally, even if risk capacity is high
– Equity-heavy portfolios can show sharp short-term falls, which may be stressful during exam or career pressure periods
– The approach is directionally right, but timing and balance need fine-tuning

» Managing the Next 1–2 Years of Income Reduction
– Use the current high-income phase to build strong safety layers
– Increase allocation to low-volatility and short-term holding options meant only for stability
– Create a clear separation between:

Long-term wealth money (do not touch)

Career transition and exam-related money (capital protection focus)
– As income reduces, SIP amounts can be lowered without stopping investments fully

» Asset Allocation Adjustments Over Time
– Gradually reduce exposure to higher volatility segments as income visibility reduces
– Maintain core equity exposure for long-term goals, but avoid over-dependence on aggressive segments
– Avoid frequent switching based on short-term market movement
– Asset allocation discipline matters more than chasing higher returns

» Liquidity and Flexibility Planning
– Ensure emergency and opportunity money is fully ready before income reduces
– Liquid and low-risk options should cover at least all non-negotiable expenses
– This gives confidence to stay invested in equity during market corrections
– Flexibility reduces the risk of forced withdrawals at the wrong time

» Insurance and Protection Review
– Review the existing investment-cum-insurance policy started during postgraduation
– Such policies are usually low on returns and high on cost
– If surrender conditions are reasonable, consider exiting and redirecting money into more efficient options
– Keep pure insurance and investments separate for better clarity and control

» Common Mistakes Seen at This Stage
– Investing aggressively without enough liquidity buffer
– Reducing investments fully instead of adjusting amounts during income dips
– Overexposure to similar equity styles leading to hidden concentration risk
– Ignoring future life changes like marriage, children, and relocation costs

» Tax and Exit Awareness
– Equity fund exits within one year attract 20% tax on gains
– Long-term equity gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%
– This makes planned withdrawals and phased rebalancing more efficient than sudden exits

» Finally
– Your financial foundation is strong and well thought out
– With better balance between growth and stability, you can manage income changes smoothly
– Focus on structure, liquidity, and discipline rather than only return numbers
– A periodic review with a Certified Financial Planner will help you stay aligned as life evolves

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11014 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 04, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I'm 38 years old. Currently doing an SIP of 55000 in these funds in 2 separate portfolios (mine and wife's). My risk profile is moderate to high. I'm targeting to keep investing for next 9 years. Currently my mutual fund portfolio corpus is 24 lac. Target corpus is 1.75 Cr to 2 Cr in 2035. Is this achievable? Do I need any step-ups yearly? Portfolio 1: parag parikh flexicap - 12000 hdfc mid cap - 5500 mirae asset large & mid cap - 8000 sbi gold fund - 5000 sbi multi asset fund - 5500 Portfolio 2: invesco midcap - 5500 ICICI multi asset allocation - 2000 hdfc flexicap - 4500 icici pru nasdaq 100 - 6000 axis silver FOF - 1000 Please review and suggest any changes needed.
Ans: You have done very well to start early, invest regularly, and build a sizeable corpus of around Rs.24 lakh by age 38. Investing as a couple, keeping a long-term view, and accepting moderate-to-high risk clearly show discipline and maturity. This itself puts you ahead of many investors.

» Target Feasibility and Time Horizon
– A 9-year horizon is reasonably good for equity-oriented investing, especially when SIP amount is strong and discipline is visible.
– With a monthly SIP of around Rs.55,000 and an existing corpus already in place, the target range of Rs.1.75 Cr to Rs.2 Cr by 2035 is achievable, but it will not happen by default.
– Market returns will not be even every year. Some years will test patience. Staying invested matters more than timing.
– To improve certainty and reduce pressure in later years, annual step-up is strongly advisable.

» Need for SIP Step-Up
– Without increasing SIP, the gap between effort and target may widen, especially if markets give average returns.
– A yearly step-up of even 8% to 10% can make a big difference over 9 years.
– Step-up should ideally match salary growth, bonuses, or business income rise.
– This keeps lifestyle stable while wealth grows silently in the background.

» Portfolio Structure Assessment
– Overall, your asset mix shows good balance across growth-oriented equity, stability-oriented allocation, and some global exposure.
– Splitting investments between spouses is sensible for long-term planning and tax efficiency.
– Exposure to mid-sized companies adds growth, but it also adds volatility. Your risk profile supports this, but allocation must be controlled.
– Flexibility-oriented funds give stability during market cycles and help reduce sharp drawdowns.
– Multi-asset exposure helps in volatile phases, but too many similar allocations can reduce clarity.

» Observations on Equity Allocation
– There is overlap in categories across both portfolios, especially in flexi and mid-cap styles.
– Too many funds in similar categories do not always improve returns; they often dilute conviction.
– A slightly more streamlined structure can improve monitoring and discipline.
– Growth funds should remain the core, but risk concentration must be watched as the goal year approaches.

» Gold, Silver, and Overseas Exposure
– Limited allocation to precious metals is fine as a stabiliser, not as a return driver.
– Keeping this allocation capped avoids drag on long-term growth.
– Overseas equity exposure adds diversification and currency hedge, but it should not dominate the portfolio.
– Periodic review is important as regulations and valuations change.

» What Changes Can Be Considered
– Reduce duplication across similar equity styles between both portfolios.
– Keep one clear growth-oriented core and one stability-oriented support structure.
– Gradually increase allocation to relatively stable equity styles after age 42–43 to protect accumulated corpus.
– Ensure each fund has a clear role; if the role is unclear, the fund may not be needed.

» Risk Management and Goal Alignment
– As the corpus grows, protecting gains becomes as important as chasing returns.
– Around the last 3 years, volatility management should take priority over aggressive growth.
– Periodic rebalancing is essential, especially after sharp market rallies.
– Emergency fund, health cover, and term protection should be adequate so investments are never disturbed mid-way.

» Tax Awareness While Investing
– Equity mutual fund gains held long term are taxed only beyond the exempt threshold, which supports long-term discipline.
– Short-term exits are costly from a tax point of view and should be avoided unless absolutely necessary.
– Asset allocation discipline reduces unnecessary churn and tax leakage.

» Finally
– Your goal is realistic, your discipline is strong, and your starting point is solid.
– Annual SIP step-up is not optional; it is the key enabler for reaching the upper end of your target.
– Simplification, role clarity of funds, and periodic review will improve outcomes without increasing stress.
– Staying invested with patience will matter more than reacting to short-term market noise.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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