Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Rajiv Question by Rajiv on Feb 20, 2024Hindi

i feel stuck in my life, could not focus on anything. How can i improve.

Ans: Feeling stuck and lacking focus can be incredibly frustrating. While I can't replace a qualified therapist or NLP life coach, I can offer some suggestions based on NLP principles and general psychological practices that might help.

Understanding the Stuckness:

Self-reflection: Take some time for introspection. Ask yourself: what specifically feels "stuck"? Is it a particular area of your life (career, relationships, etc.) or a general feeling of unfulfillment? What are your thoughts and emotions around this feeling?
Identify unhelpful patterns: Are there negative thought patterns or limiting beliefs that might be holding you back? Do you constantly criticize yourself or doubt your abilities? Recognizing these patterns is the first step to changing them.
Shifting Your Focus:

Start small: Trying to achieve too much at once can be overwhelming. Set small, achievable goals to build momentum and confidence. Focus on celebrating small wins, no matter how insignificant they might seem.
Practice mindfulness: Techniques like meditation or deep breathing can help you become more present and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can improve your ability to focus and prioritize.
Reconnect with your values: What are your core values and passions in life? Reminding yourself of what truly matters can guide your decisions and provide a sense of direction.
Taking Action:

Challenge negative thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking negatively, actively challenge those thoughts with evidence to the contrary. Ask yourself, "Is this thought truly helpful?"
Break down big tasks: Feeling overwhelmed by large tasks can easily lead to procrastination. Break down big goals into smaller, more manageable steps to make them less daunting.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about what you're going through. Talking things out can provide valuable perspective and support.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2023Hindi
i feel defeated in life how to start again and move on path of happiness
Ans: It's normal to feel defeated and stuck at times, but it's important to remember that it's never too late to start again and work towards a happier life.

Here are some suggestions to help you get started:

Identify your goals and passions: Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in life and what makes you happy. This could be a new career path, a hobby, or a personal goal. Identifying your passions and goals can give you a sense of direction and purpose.

Break down your goals into small steps: Once you have identified your goals, break them down into small achievable steps. This can make them feel less daunting and help you stay motivated.

Create a plan: Develop a plan for how you will achieve your goals. This could involve taking classes, networking, or seeking out mentorship or guidance.

Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out the company of people who support and encourage you. Positive relationships can provide you with the emotional support and motivation you need to move forward.

Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical and emotional health is important in achieving happiness. This could involve eating healthy, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Remember, moving on from a difficult time in your life takes time and effort. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this process. Seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in working through feelings of defeat and developing a plan for moving forward.

..Read more


Archana Deshpande  |45 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
Hi, Im a 23 year old mechanical engineering graduate, currently unemployed, I am feeling to do some progress everyday, but day after day, nothing changes, I cant figure out what to do with this life and feeling very much lost, Cant think properly on doing what changes my life?
Ans: Hello!!

This information you have shared is not enough to understand what is that you are exactly wanting right now.
Let me see how I can help you. First of all extend your arm and pat yourself on the back for completing your engineering. You are a mechanical engineer!! Celebrate the fact and feel good about yourself.

I like the fact where you say "I am currently, unemployed", this can change soon, look out for opportunities, keep attending interviews, prepare well, ask for help, give it your best shot. Treat every failure as part of a learning process in becoming better next time. Surround yourself with positive and encouraging people.

Till you find a job, live life well on a day to day basis-
1. wake up early
2. exercise
3. eat well and sleep well
4. dress well at home too, don't be in your pyjamas, you should be in such a state that if someone asks you to come for an interview right away, you must be ready
5. beware of negative self talk... nip negative thoughts in the bud
6. looking for a job is your full time job, keep looking
7. be helpful around the house if you are living with your parents
8. till you find a job keep learning and building on your skills
9. volunteer to teach and help the less fortunate lot
10. do not sit idle, keep your body and mind active

Constantly invest in activities that ensure your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being!! Have rituals that focus on these four pillars of your life!

Blessings and all the very best!!

..Read more


Kanchan Rai  |276 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2024

I am a constant failure in my exm n a disappointment in my own eyes , I face anxiety n even if I make a choice n decision, that one is indecisive to my parents and I struggle to make a decision for myself .. please help me out ,on how I can break these mental barriers that I've subconsciously created in my mind.
Ans: Dear Barua
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of internal pressure and self-doubt, which can be incredibly challenging to overcome. However, breaking through these mental barriers is possible with patience, self-compassion, and consistent effort.
Be gentle with yourself and recognize that it's okay to make mistakes and face challenges. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend who is struggling. Acknowledge your efforts and progress, no matter how small they may seem. Pay attention to the negative thoughts and beliefs that contribute to your feelings of failure and disappointment. When you notice these thoughts, challenge them with evidence to the contrary. Replace negative self-talk with more balanced and realistic perspectives.Avoid putting undue pressure on yourself to be perfect or to always make the "right" decisions. Recognize that it's normal to experience setbacks and that growth often involves making mistakes and learning from them. Set achievable goals and celebrate your successes, no matter how small. Don't hesitate to reach out to supportive friends, family members, or a mental health professional for guidance and encouragement. Talking to someone you trust can help you gain perspective and feel less alone in your struggles.Engage in activities that promote relaxation and reduce stress, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga. Mindfulness can help you stay present in the moment and cultivate a greater sense of calm and clarity.Break down overwhelming tasks or decisions into smaller, more manageable steps. Focus on taking one step at a time, rather than getting caught up in the big picture. Celebrate your progress along the way, no matter how incremental it may be. If your anxiety and self-doubt are significantly impacting your daily life and well-being, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with tools and strategies to manage your anxiety, challenge negative thought patterns, and build resilience.
Remember that breaking through mental barriers takes time and effort, but with persistence and support, you can overcome them and cultivate a greater sense of self-confidence and fulfillment. You deserve to live a life that is guided by your own values and aspirations, rather than by fear and self-doubt.

..Read more


Anu Krishna  |1026 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
Im 28M, feel like i have done wasted a lot of my life till now. I'm in a career but its not going good, I waste a lot of time in mobile, I don't have have any social life. I feel immature for a relationship. My patents are looking for a match, but I feel unworthy. I want to improve myself atleast till a point where I can accept myself. Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are most likely in a space which is forcing you to think different from what you thought to get to where you are now.
So, take it as a good sign!!!!!!
Ask yourself:
- What do I want from life and in life?
- How do I want my relationships to be?
- How can I improve my money situation?
- What is an ideal health like for me?

These are very general questions. Once you get to the bottom of these, you will get to a point where you might feel stuck BUT will know what the problem area is. This is half the battle won.
From that point on, either, you dig deeper by putting clear goals and following them. If you find it difficult to do this, find an expert who can guide you further by working on the challenge area in great detail leading you to a useful solution. Taking the first step is a huge improvement. It's a step towards a better life than what you are leading now. So, wake up and move yourself to answer the first set of questions...it will give you a way forward...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.


You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds