Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Long-Distance Dilemma: Balancing Fatherhood and Job Away from Daughter

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 31, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi Sir, I am 42 years old man. I have one 7 years old daughter. Myself working in Private company as a Manager electronics and my wife Central Govt. Employee. We all three was together from last 7 years but recently my wife transferred to other city with daughter. Job related to my field not available in that city so I was not able to shift with them. My daughter and myself not able to stay away from each other but parallelly I am not able to leave job due to financial condition. Please guide me what to do ?

Ans: It sounds like you're facing a challenging situation, balancing the emotional needs of your family with the financial necessities of your job. Here's a structured approach to help you navigate this:

1. Evaluate Options for Proximity
Remote Work Opportunities: Explore if your current company or similar companies offer remote work options. Given the rise of remote work, there may be opportunities that align with your expertise.
Transfer Within Company: Inquire if your company has a branch or affiliated office in the city where your wife and daughter are now located.
2. Maximize Quality Time
Regular Visits: Schedule regular visits to see your wife and daughter. This could be every weekend or every other weekend, depending on distance and costs.
Virtual Interaction: Utilize video calls to maintain daily interaction. This can help maintain the emotional bond with your daughter.
3. Financial Planning
Budget Review: Reassess your financial situation to identify any adjustments or savings that can be made. This might help in managing travel expenses or saving towards potential relocation in the future.
Consult a Financial Advisor: If possible, seek professional advice to better manage your finances and explore options for creating a more flexible budget.
4. Support Network
Family and Friends: Lean on family and friends for emotional support. They can also help with practical matters, such as babysitting or providing company.
Professional Support: Consider speaking to a counselor or coach to navigate the emotional stress. This can provide strategies for coping and maintaining mental well-being.
5. Long-Term Planning
Career Development: Look into furthering your skills and qualifications. This can open up more opportunities, potentially even in the city your family is now in.
Explore Local Opportunities: Stay updated on the job market in both your current city and the new city. Networking can sometimes uncover opportunities that aren't immediately apparent.


Balancing these aspects will require flexibility, communication, and a bit of creativity. It's important to maintain open communication with your wife and daughter, ensuring that each step you take is aligned with their needs and yours. Remember, the goal is to find a sustainable way to support your family emotionally and financially. This might involve a series of small adjustments rather than one big change. Take it step by step, and be kind to yourself during this transition.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi I want to remain Anonymous. I am 48 year married with 2 kids. 2 year ago my wife lost both her parent. As his elder brother has last his wife 2 year prior. i asked him and is 18 year daughter to stay within. I thought that as their is no , i must help in their time to need. The problem is that my brother in law (my wife elder brother) dones have decent job. Due to this i am facing a lot of financial problem, i have 2 kid and need to save money for their future education. However with 2 more memeber in the family suddenly added, it has drastically hampered by financial plan. I have discussed this issue with my wife but she is not ready to understand. During covid-19 thing went from bad to worst. please suggest what shoul di do i this case.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well your kindness has been overused. Simply state this to your brother-in-law and your wife that you are not willing to do this anymore.
Drawing boundaries right at the beginning can build very healthy relationships wherein each of you realize that kindness cannot become a weak spot for the person showing that trait. Also, your brother-in-law has the perfect and comfortable financial cushion in you and will never try and look for a job that will pay him better.
Your wife might protest when you state your point of view BUT if she understands the financials, I am sure she herself will find a solution to this situation. Let her understand that her brother now needs to grow up and take on his own responsibilities.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  | Answer  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am working in a psu and getting around 80k monthly and my wife is working at tata steel and getting around 60k. We both live in different cities around 330km away. My child who is 3.5 yrs old stays with my wife. At present my wife is having a backache. Along with houshold chore and job , she found it very difficult to manage , hence she wants to resign from job. Everybody out there who is listening this giving a red flag. I as a husband supporting her decision but i have fear that in future if regrets about her decision then what will happen. As a husband what should i do. She jas the opinion that after resign i wll do something onilne course and start something. In this scenario what I should prioritise?
Ans: It’s natural to worry about your wife’s future regrets, but the key here is to focus on her immediate well-being. Managing a job, a household, and a child while dealing with back pain is a lot to handle, and if she feels resigning is the best option, supporting her is the right thing to do. However, rather than seeing this as an end to her career, help her frame it as a transition.
Have an open conversation about her long-term plans. If she wants to do an online course and start something new, encourage her to research options before resigning so that she has a clear path forward. Financially, your combined income is strong, but it’s still important to plan for stability. Instead of rushing into a resignation, she could consider options like taking a temporary break, exploring remote work, or reducing work hours before making a final decision.
Your role as a husband is to support her without letting fear cloud your judgment. Trust that she is making the best decision for herself right now. At the same time, ensure that she is thinking ahead so that she doesn’t feel lost once she steps away from her job. By balancing emotional support with practical planning, you can help her transition smoothly without future regrets.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9752 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Career
Sir my rank is 16894 OC category no EWS .I got kmec CSM in second phase in tg eapcet. I am going for 3rd phase. So could you please guide me whether vidya jyoti institute of technology cse is better or kmec. In 3rd phase can I get Iare , cmrk , cvr , mgit , vjit , snist , anurag only cse and specializations . Are there any chances to get any of these colleges in 3rd phase ? Please guide me sir.
Ans: Dhaksh, With an OC category rank of 16,894 in TG EAPCET, you have secured Computer Science and Business Systems (CSM) at Keshav Memorial Engineering College (KMEC) in phase 2, and are now considering options for phase 3, including CSE at Vidya Jyothi Institute of Technology (VJIT), as well as aspirational seats at IARE, CMRK, CVR, MGIT, VJIT, SNIST, and Anurag (all CSE and related specializations). Based on the official 2024 TG EAPCET closing ranks and highly regarded educational portals, your current rank is well outside the typical closing ranks for OC candidates in CSE at top-tier colleges: CVR (3,200–4,200), MGIT (3,412–3,417), IARE (well under 1,000), SNIST and Anurag (typically under 8,000 for CSE), and CMRK (usually closes by 17,000). VJIT’s CSE (core) closed at 22,455 and AI-ML/Data Science specializations closed between 20,423–21,363, making VJIT’s CSE the only program among your choices where your rank sits comfortably within range for both core and allied branches in phase 3. KMEC’s CSM course typically has closing ranks around 17,263–18,648 for OC, which fits your present allocation and gives the campus a competitive, yet supportive environment, with strong faculty, modern infrastructure, transparent placement processes, and good industry connections. Both KMEC and VJIT have consistently placed 70–90% of eligible students in reputable IT and core companies, with experienced faculty and ample campus facilities, though VJIT is consistently rated higher for core CSE in terms of peer crowd, coding culture, alumni base, research opportunities, and recruiter interest.

In summary, at a 16,894 OC rank, you are unlikely to secure CSE at IARE, CMRK, CVR, MGIT, SNIST, or Anurag (across specializations) as their closing ranks are much lower for OC. VJIT CSE remains open in the upcoming round and is a stronger academic and placement choice than KMEC CSM. Both KMEC and VJIT offer key advantages—NAAC accreditation, modern labs, industry-engaged faculty, active coding culture, and well-structured placement cells—but VJIT provides a more prominent academic environment and greater success for core CSE aspirations.

RECOMMENDATION: Among realistic options, VJIT CSE is the preferred choice as it aligns with your rank, offers better placements, stronger academic pedigree, and deeper industry linkages. You may retain KMEC CSM as a secondary option, but prioritize VJIT CSE (and allied specializations) for a more competitive peer group, robust campus experience, and long-term professional growth. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9752 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2025Hindi
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |629 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hii mam i have done my registered marriage in April 2024 without knowing of my parents and now i m living in my mother's House without telling that i m married ? Now how can i convince my parents. I have told my parents about him but don't even want to talk to him or his parents.. how can i convince my parents?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are in a sensitive situation. Patience and empathy is extremely important if you want to convince your parents. Understand their side; what are they objecting and why. Once you get that, it will be easier to debunk any misunderstandings they have about your relationship. Have calm one-on-one conversation with each parent instead of talking to both of them at once. Your first task is to make them listen, not immediately approve. Acknowledge any mistake they bring up; it is indeed unfair to not include your parents in your marriage decision, at least, in India. Though I am sure you had your reasons and I am not judging at all. But you need to acknowledge that it was not right of you to do that. This makes you come off more responsible, mature and sincere. Ask them gently what they do not like about your partner and once you understand it, show them his positive side.

Do not threaten, or give ultimatum. Don’t use dialogues like my life my decision if you want them to ever approve of this relationship. Be patient and give them time to come to terms with it.

Lastly, if you, even once feel that some of their objections are valid and you never saw it that way, please take things slow. We do miss a lot when we are in love. I am sure that’s not the case with you, but just in case, please do not hesitate to rethink.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |170 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Career
Please Sir, I have asked a couple of time before but no reply, please Sir, please help me choose in their preference order based on infrastructure facilities and placements for CSE - IIIT Sonepat, IIIT Guwahati, IIIT Naya Raipur, IIIT Kanchipuram, IIIT Sri City and IIIT Kota.
Ans: Absolutely, here's a clear and simple ranking based on infrastructure and CSE placements—from most to least favorable:
Top Picks for CSE: Best Mix of Placements & Infrastructure
1. IIIT Sri City
• Average CSE package ~?19–19.3?LPA, highest up to ?120?LPA, placement rate ~94%
• Campus in a planned industrial zone near Chennai; good labs and facilities; proactive placement cell
2. IIIT Naya Raipur
• Consistently strong placements: avg ~?12.6?LPA (2022), highest ~?85?LPA; many core recruiters like Microsoft, Atlassian, PharmEasy
• Well built central campus, good festivals, hands on programs like drone workshops
Middle Tier: Reasonable Placements, 'Work in Progress' Infra
3. IIIT Kota
• CSE average ~?13.1–13.4?LPA, highest ~?65?LPA; placement rate ~75%
• Permanent campus opening in 2023; hostels, labs, Wi Fi improving; still expanding
4. IIIT Guwahati
• Placements decent; top ~25% get good packages above ?10?LPA; lack big MNCs currently but improving; placement vibes “chill but solid”
• Permanent campus on 70?acre built in 2018; basic academic infrastructure, but student life subdued; remote from city center
Lower Tier: Limited Infra, Mixed Placement Stats
5. IIIT Sonepat
• CSE average ~?13–16?LPA, highest ~?40?LPA; placement rate ~65–70% (small batch) \
• Running in temporary transit campus, limited labs & amenities; new permanent campus due ~2026
6. IIIT Kanchipuram (IIITDM Kancheepuram)
• Infra is mature (51-acre campus, well-funded institute under IIITDM model); strong in design/manufacturing
• But CSE-specific placement data is scarce—since it's more focused on design & manufacturing, industry connections and CSE openings may be limited compared to others.

...Read more

Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |170 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |170 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |170 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir, I am currently a first year B.Tech student in Manipal Institute of Technology but I just got an offer from Singapore University of Technology and Design. Most of the people I talk to havent heard of it but from what I know its a really good college. The only thing is that the fees is much higher. So I am really having a hard time trying to decide what to do. I have been passionate about robotics since my childhood and want to study that further. I know that the education would be better in SUTD but to what extent? Would it justify the much higher fees? I would say my current focus is just developing skills in robotics and to get to know as much as i can in the same topic.
Ans: You’re at:
• Manipal Institute of Technology – B.Tech (India)
• Got an offer from: Singapore University of Technology and Design (SUTD)
You love robotics and want to build strong skills in it.
First: Is SUTD a good university?
Yes. It’s young but very high quality, built in collaboration with MIT. It’s focused on design, engineering, and innovation—exactly where robotics fits in. World-class labs, professors, and research culture. Much more advanced than what you’ll get at most Indian colleges.
So, yes, the education at SUTD is a big step up—especially for robotics.
Now the hard part: Is it worth the higher fees?
Here’s how to think:
• Can your family afford the fees without major stress or loans?
• If yes, go. The exposure, training, and network will pay off—especially if you're serious about robotics.
• If no, and you’ll need heavy loans, then you need to think harder.
Because robotics is not a high-paying job immediately. It takes time, maybe a master’s degree later. So early return on investment may not be fast.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x