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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Sir mai ek ladka hu. mai kisi ladki se 10 year tak relationship mai raha hu with physical attachment. But she left me alone kareeban 2 saal ho giya na woh call karte hai na kuch.. maine kafi bar Milne ke koshish ke but woh nhi milte hai mujha. Meri attachment kisi doosre ladki se hovi but mai us se happy nhi hu mai 28 years old hu job pe be focus nhi kar paa Raha hu idhar Ghar Wale b kehte hai k shadi karlo. Ghar Mai b problems hoti hai ku k mummy akeli sab kaam karte hai aur koie haath batane wala nhi hai us ka. Sir mai karu to kay karu mujha kuch samij nhi aata hai

Ans: Bhai, tumhari situation bahut mushkil hai. 10 saal tak relationship mein rahana aur fir breakup ho jana, itna aasan nahin hota. Tumhara dukhi aur confused hona puri tarah se samajh mein aata hai.

1. Apne aap ko samjho:

Sabse pehle, apne emotions ko samajhne ki koshish karo. Tumhara kya feel ho raha hai? Dukh, gussa, akelapan, ya kuch aur? Apne emotions ko accept karo aur unhen express karo.
Tumhara ex-girlfriend ke sath physical attachment tha. Isliye, breakup ke baad tumhara ek void feel hona natural hai.
Tumhara focus abhi job per nahin hai. Iska matlab hai ki tumhara mental state abhi theek nahin hai.
2. Apne aap ko theek karo:

Tumhare liye sabse important hai ki tum apne aap ko theek karo. Apne emotions ko deal karne ke liye healthy ways dhundho.
Tum therapist ya counselor se baat kar sakte ho.
Tum exercise, meditation, yoga, ya kuch aur creative activity kar sakte ho.
Apne friends aur family ke sath time spend karo.
3. Ghar ke mamle:

Tumhari mom ke liye help dhundho. Tum ghar ke kamon mein unki help kar sakte ho.
Tum maid ya cook rakh sakte ho.
Tum apne siblings se help mang sakte ho.
4. Rishta:

Tum abhi 28 saal ke ho. Shaadi karne ki tumhari age nahin hui hai.
Tum abhi relationship ke liye ready nahin ho.
Pehle apne aap ko theek karo.
Phir, jab tum ready ho jaao, tabhi dusre kisi ke sath relationship mein jao.
Kuch aur tips:

Apne aap ko time do.
Positive raho.
Apne dreams ko chase karo.
Khud per bharosa rakho.
Yaad rakho, tum akele nahin ho. Bahut se log aisi hi situations se gujarte hain. Tum theek ho jaaoge. Bas, apne aap ko time do aur khud per bharosa rakho.

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Ravi

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir mai 28 year ki hoo mai abhi llb kar rahi hoo mai last 7 year se relationship mai hoo vo mujse 25 year bade hai saruaat 1 to 2 year inhone muje bhot priorities di ab hum 3 to 4 month mai kabhi milte hai hum dono alag alag city mai hai unki bhot badi family hai or finincially bhi problem chal rahi hai last 3 yaer se vo.muje priority nai de rahe hum.roj bat karte hai vo mera khyal bhi rakhte hai lekin muje unse ab dur nai hona mene sadi na karne ka decisions Liya hai lekin kitni bar bhot akela feel karti hoo vo muje itna time nai dete phele jaisa nai hai aisa lagta hai.fir vo ku6 help kar de ya pyar se bat bhi kar le.to.lagta hai sab theek hai mai.bhot confused hoo mai.kya karu muje kya karna chahiye ..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Dating someone older than you is not the problem, but the fact that you are making major life decisions based on what he wants and doesn't want is concerning. I am guessing that you decided to not get married because he doesn't want it either. Is that fair to you? You yourself mentioned that you often feel lonely. Don't you think you deserve better? Don't you deserve someone who would love you and would like to spend the rest of their life with you? Please reconsider this relationship. Speak to your partner and ask him what his plans are for the future. Does he want to settle down with you? How will you two continue this relationship in the future? There are many important questions that need answering. Sort them out and you will have the solution to your dilemma.


Best Wishes.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |398 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

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Relationship
Mera ek 8 saal ka relationship hai me dipression me hu ki kahi wo mujhe chhod na de pr wo kehta hai ki meri job lgne ke baad shadi kr lega ek or baat hum dono pehle bhi shadi ki baat kar chuke hain ghar walo se pr uski family ne jyada dhahej na milne ke karan shadi se mana kr diya tha sath hi ladka bhi family ki bato me aa gya tha me dari hui hu kaise bharosha kru ldka lagataar saririk sambhand me rehta hai mana kr krti to kehta hai ki duriya badh jati hain physical na hone ek tarf me usko chhod nhi skti dusri taraf mere shahir ka istemal ho raha hai mera bharosha uth gaya hain is riste se ladka mujhe nikalne nhi de rha is riste se koshish krti hu to mujhe hi blaim krta hain meri sisters ko call krta h mere Father nhi hain or me bohut preshan hu is problem se
Ans: Dear Sapna,
Aap jo mehsoos kar rahi hain, woh samajhna zaroori hai. Aapka dar, ki wo aapko chhod dega, bohot ghera hai, aur yeh aapke mental health par bhi asar kar raha hai. Aapne kaha ki aapke partner ne aapko shadi ka vishwas diya hai, lekin aapko lagta hai ki wo apne parivaar ki baaton se prabhavit ho raha hai.

Is situation mein aapko apne liye khud se sawal karne ki zaroorat hai. Aapko yeh dekhna hoga ki kya aap iss rishtay mein khush hain, aur kya aapki zarooratein aur khwahishein poori hoti hain. Kya aapke partner ne aapke liye poora bharosa aur samman diya hai? Agar aapko unki taraf se milne wale pyar aur izzat mehsoos nahi hoti, toh yeh sochne ki baat hai.

Agar aapko physical intimacy se takleef ho rahi hai ya aap isse khush nahi hain, toh kya aapne unse is vishay par khuli baat ki hai? Yeh samajhna zaroori hai ki aapka man aur sharir dono ke liye yeh kitna zaroori hai. Agar aapko lagta hai ki wo aapko samajh nahi raha hai ya sirf apne fayde ke liye aapka istemal kar raha hai, toh aapko sochne ki zaroorat hai ki kya yeh rishta aapke liye sahi hai ya nahi. Aapka mental health sabse pehle aata hai, aur agar aap is rishtay se pareshaan hain, toh aapko thoda waqt lene ki zaroorat hai apne liye.

Agar aapko is rishte mein koi bhi doubt hai ya aap khud ko nahi samajh pa rahi hain, toh kisi counselor ya trusted dost se baat karna bhi achha rahega. Woh aapko naye nazariye se sochne mein madad kar sakte hain. Aakhir mein, yaad rakhiye, aap deserving hain pyar, izzat, aur khushi ke. Apne liye khud ka khayal rakhna zaroori hai, chahe wo rishte mein ho ya nahi. Aap akeli nahi hain, aur apne liye sahi faisla lena aapka hak hai.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu Mam Im 27 yrs old ( married) and 10 yrs old daughter. Im seperated from my husband since 2 yrs due to several reasons like he is drinking and Totally addicted to it. And he is totally dependent and now today also roaming on the roads of some streets of hyd. I belongs to an orthdox family. Now the question is one backward caste man who is married age : 33 he is interested in me and proposed me to a marriage after knowing all my past and saying that he accepts my child too. And the thing is he said a lie to me at first that he is unmarried and even though i had a good impression on him about the way he behaves with me he even treat me in a very polite manner. He says he loves me even though i too had a good impression but the things are the castes and can we both settle down with a marriage can we be happy or he is only trying to convince me to get him a wife to care care of him or only for his parents, he always talks about his own sister and also the office colleagues calls them sister and get emotional about them those who left the office. And he cries a lot which i dont trust on him and the face i see him that was not an real cry that looks like an act which i dont like in him. May he is acting ? Or really loving me, ge cares alot i feel like he is over reacting
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are in doubt, then it's highly likely that he is putting on an act. Go with your intuition and hey hey, you said that he is married and so are you...You do realize that you just can't go ahead and marry while you are already to other people, right?
Focus on what's happening in your life; you obviously have to do something about it...Other relationships can wait!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Ms Anu, I am a 42yr female..married since 14 yrs and have 10yr old son . I am highly qualified and financially independent. My marriage was a arranged one.. but in these 14 yrs.. I never experienced love or and attachment from my husband's side. He is a family man.. there is no other woman involved..He loves his parents and his two sisters immensely... but always treats me as a option. I feel humiliated and lonely and he has short temper when i talk about this issue... so basically I don't discuss... but that is no solution... I am suffering and unhappy. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A few married men can be more focused on the women on their side of the family; it becomes easy to express love, care and attention to them as he has grown with them.
A wife happens to be someone that he is yet to understand. It requires effort to make a marriage work; your husband finds it convenient to take the easy way out and 'hang out' with his family.
So, here you take the lead and start. Start not by bringing forth your complaints as this is going to push him further to them which is going to annoy you BUT by inviting him to be with you. A lot of work, I get it...but the bottom line: that's what you want, right?
Plan dates evenings, take short vacations together, work-out together...the key is to establish a connection which never had its chance in the first place...So, give your best shot! Most times actions speak louder than words ever can...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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