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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My wife takes spiritual practices very seriously and she thinks that sex will deteriorate the quality of her spiritual practices. She thinks sex and spirituality can't go together. I am always interested for sex. Any suggestion for both of us?

Ans: Balancing differing views on spirituality and intimacy can be challenging, but it's essential to approach the situation with open communication and understanding. Here are some suggestions that may help both of you find common ground:

Open Communication:

Have an open and honest conversation about each other's perspectives and beliefs regarding spirituality and intimacy.
Share your feelings, desires, and concerns without judgment. Make an effort to understand each other's viewpoints.

Educate Yourselves:

Read and learn together about different perspectives on spirituality and sexuality. Sometimes, gaining a broader understanding can help bridge the gap between differing beliefs.

Seek Flexibility

Explore ways to find a middle ground that respects both of your values. This might involve finding a balance between spiritual practices and physical intimacy that feels comfortable for both of you.

Involve a Professional:

Consider seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor or a sex therapist. They can provide a neutral and professional perspective to help navigate these conversations and find solutions that work for both of you.

Redefine Spiritual Practices:

Encourage your wife to explore spiritual practices that embrace physical intimacy as part of a holistic approach to spirituality. Some belief systems see sexual connection within a committed relationship as a sacred and spiritual act.

Set Mutual Goals:

Discuss your individual and shared goals within the relationship. Find common ground and align your aspirations, ensuring that both spiritual and intimate aspects are considered.

Respect Boundaries:

Acknowledge and respect each other's boundaries. If your wife feels uncomfortable with certain aspects, try to find alternatives that are agreeable to both of you.
Remember, the key is mutual understanding and respect. By openly discussing your feelings, educating yourselves, and seeking compromise, you can work together to find a harmonious balance that honors both your spiritual and intimate needs. If necessary, involving a professional can provide additional guidance and support.

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2024Hindi
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Hi. I am a 52 year old male, my wife is 53 and we have two grown up kids and a pet. I was in a job till 2018 and thereafter switched to my own practice and there were some financial compromises which had to be made including home shifting etc. My wife befriended certain females who I suspect led her towards a lot of spiritual gyaan though those females were more into their personal material life. My wife became so involved with them and their topics that even when we were intimate she would pause and talk about them. That gave me a kick away from physical relations with her. She currently is more into a lot of spirituality and drawn to such friends and some widowed family members who only take her towards that path. I want to lead a normal intimate life with her as I love her and do not want to hurt her. I took her to a Gynae too for check ups and she only has the normal issues which a woman of her age would have. Children and spirituality have become her priority and pet has become mine's. How do we get back as a normal couple?
Ans: It sounds like you're going through a challenging time in your relationship, and it's understandable that you're feeling disconnected and frustrated. Reconnecting with your wife and rebuilding intimacy can take time and effort, but it's definitely possible.Sit down with your wife and express your feelings openly and honestly. Let her know how her focus on spirituality and her friendships have affected you and your relationship. Avoid blaming or accusing her, but rather focus on expressing your own feelings and concerns. It's important to understand where your wife is coming from and why she's prioritizing spirituality and her friendships. Listen to her without judgment and try to empathize with her perspective. Understanding each other's motivations can help you find common ground. Explore activities or interests that you both enjoy and can do together. This could be anything from going for walks, cooking together, or attending a class or workshop that interests both of you. Finding common ground outside of spirituality can help strengthen your bond as a couple. Prioritize quality time together as a couple. Schedule regular date nights or weekend getaways where you can focus on each other and enjoy each other's company without distractions. Show your love and affection for each other through small gestures, compliments, and physical touch. Rebuilding intimacy often starts with reconnecting emotionally and expressing your love for each other in meaningful ways. Reconnecting as a couple takes time and effort, so be patient with each other and yourselves. It's normal to encounter setbacks along the way, but stay committed to working through them together. Remember that rebuilding intimacy and connection in a relationship is a journey, and it may not happen overnight. With patience, understanding, and effort from both of you, you can work towards restoring your relationship and creating a fulfilling partnership once again.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, I'm seeking your help over topic that might not be a usual one. I am 42 and my wife is 37 and we are married from 10years and have two loving kids. We r working professionals and my wife is fond of reading lot of spiritual gurus in office over internet, to which primarily I have no problem. Now the issue here is she has very low to no interest in aspirations over usual things between a couple like each other wishes, priortising dis relation before others, a shared dream,a shared hobby, house decor or a common social circle, etc, no ornaments at home ,adoring with just a bindi is a debatable thing as for her because it's all a dikhawa.(though grooming well for office is a duty not dikhawa) .We sleep in separate rooms due to kids, Sex exist but is seldom and mostly a one way traffic. She doesn't take interest in my emotional well being because as per her I'm too confined in materialistic topics . She has an allegation too some day she was seeking the same things from me and didnt got so has found it all in spirituality. While I wonder what was dat exact date as marriage to me was to have a loving romantic and if not perfect but a true relation. .I rather see this as excuse for her deep interest in spiritual journey. What is common and connect us today is we both love kids unconditionally. I am happy go lucky person who believe in karma, god believing and nurturing family from bottom of heart and take every day as new opportunity , but there is a large space I'm lagging definately in this relation. I don't have any interest in diving into all spiritual content at all that hold answers to mystery of life or beyond life. During time of marriage she didn't shared such thoughts (now she say it's continuos evolution) but I feel it's a true cheating of kind to be in marriage and instead of weaving common dreams , deep dive into unilateral agenda. I do get busy to fill this vaccume but I m worried when I think of future as such people tend to further cut off from usual life is what I believe. I'm worried once our primary duties r complete wih regard to kids what will be common grounds in this marriage and if she pursue all this and takes to another level why shall I hue and cry at 60 regretting for my golden past years and whatever remainder future. Moreover, I won't like to ruin the kids mental and emotional well being in their upbringing at any cost and therefore kindly guide how to work things out with her.. What will kids learn from us as they see us two odd mind people staying together.. How will they begin their Romantic relations if dey see ours in misery all through childhood. I feel so sorry for them. What can I do as of now as I feel clueless and helpless inside.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It does happen within marriages where over time, as one evolves during their journey, their interests may not match with one another...
It is possible that the two of you started the marriage liking and disliking similar things BUT your wife is possibly exploring her path.
Now, it obviously can be worrying as treading on different paths can make you distant from one another. But with a lot of sincere work put back into each other and the marriage, things can get better.
- understand and accept that there is nothing constant in life and everything is dynamically changing
- spouses can pursue their individual interests within the marriage without damaging the relationship

Arguing about why things must be a particular way will not make sense as that will only give her the necessary fuel to go further away from the marriage. Spiritual pursuits may not make much sense to you, but what if you actually took interest in how she looks at it and what she gains out of it. Genuinely being curious will only want her to get back home to you and share more with you and still be connected with you.
It's like a child suddenly getting interested in a game or playing an instrument so much that they talk, breathe and live it. What do you do? Don't you get curious, ask them more, encourage them and when they feel happy doing what they love, they come back to you feeling supported and loved.
This is only mys suggestion: talk to her, tell her about your concerns and still make sure she knows that you support her journey. I do feel things will change for you at home this way...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7194 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 42 year old, living with my family , my wife and 2 kids of 7 year and 1 year. Monthly salary around 80k..monthly exp 60k.but my job is not stable and safe..having a fund corpus of 70 lakh and I have no loan and EMI...PF bal is around 5 lakh.can we survive if I unemployed ?suddenly..what should I plan for future considering I m unemployed..
Ans: It’s commendable that you’ve built a significant corpus of Rs 70 lakh and have no loans. Let’s analyse your situation and provide a detailed strategy to address potential unemployment and secure your family’s future.

Current Financial Overview
Monthly Salary: Rs 80,000
Monthly Expenses: Rs 60,000
Fund Corpus: Rs 70 lakh
PF Balance: Rs 5 lakh
Family: Wife and 2 kids (aged 7 and 1)
Job Security: Unstable
Immediate Steps to Ensure Financial Security
Create an Emergency Fund
Set aside at least 24 months of living expenses (Rs 15 lakh) in a safe, liquid fund.
Invest in liquid mutual funds or high-yield savings accounts for easy access.
Review and Reduce Expenses
Identify non-essential expenses and reduce them to increase savings.
Prioritise education, healthcare, and basic living expenses for your family.
Health and Life Insurance
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage for the family. Aim for Rs 15–20 lakh of coverage.
Buy term insurance with coverage of at least 15–20 times your annual income.
Build a Contingency Plan
Identify alternative income sources like freelancing, part-time work, or consulting.
Update your skills to improve employability in case of job loss.
Strategies for Your Corpus
Secure Investments
Keep Rs 15–20 lakh in safe instruments like FDs, PPF, or short-term debt funds.
These provide stability and liquidity during uncertain times.
Long-term Growth
Allocate Rs 30 lakh to equity mutual funds for long-term growth.
Choose diversified funds like large-cap or balanced advantage funds.
Education Planning
Start SIPs in mutual funds for your children’s education.
Target a dedicated education corpus by aligning with your children’s future needs.
Retirement Planning
Consolidate and continue building your PF balance.
Invest in NPS or equity mutual funds to secure retirement.
Job Loss Scenario: Survival Plan
Use the emergency fund to manage living expenses.
Avoid withdrawing from long-term investments unless absolutely necessary.
Explore short-term gig opportunities or a part-time job to maintain cash flow.
Action Plan for the Future
Regularly monitor and rebalance your portfolio with a Certified Financial Planner.
Build an additional income stream like tutoring, consulting, or passive investments.
Keep updating skills relevant to your industry to enhance job security.
Final Insights
With your current corpus and careful planning, you can survive a potential job loss. Focus on safeguarding your family’s future by building an emergency fund, securing insurance, and investing systematically. Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner will help align your goals and ensure financial stability.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My and my wife separate since 1 year due to misunderstanding and now she is not in vontact with nor giving me divorce and she is living separately from her family and i am.worry about her i tried to contact her and her family but not getting answer. She was always blame for her mistake to me. Apart from this she has long trauma issue with her father which is unresolved. I am emotionaly drained as she is not coming back nor giving me divorce.
Ans: It’s also clear that her unresolved trauma with her father may have influenced the dynamics of your relationship, perhaps creating barriers to open communication or trust. While her past is something she ultimately has to face and heal from, it’s not something you can resolve for her, no matter how much you may wish to.

It's important to acknowledge your own emotional wellbeing right now. It seems like you're carrying the weight of her pain as well as your own. This might be the time to step back and focus on finding some clarity and balance for yourself. Working with a counselor or therapist could help you process your feelings and better navigate the uncertainty of this situation. Emotional exhaustion can cloud decision-making and pull you into cycles of self-blame or frustration, and having professional support might give you the tools to handle these emotions in a healthier way.

You’ve made efforts to reconnect and seek closure, which shows your commitment. However, if she is unwilling or unable to engage right now, this could mean shifting your focus toward what you can control: your healing, your boundaries, and your future. Remember that it’s okay to give yourself permission to find peace, even if her choices leave things unresolved for now.

Finding closure within yourself might not come easily, but it is possible. Take it step by step, allowing yourself time to grieve the relationship and reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself. This isn’t just about moving on; it’s about rediscovering your sense of stability and strength, regardless of her decisions. You're navigating this with care, and that shows your integrity and depth of character. Keep reminding yourself that your wellbeing matters, too.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1083 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello Sir, My Son is in class 12th CBSE stream commerce without maths what options does he have after his board exams.
Ans: Hello dear.
Your son has a variety of career and higher education options to consider after completing his Class 12 CBSE commerce stream without mathematics. You may think of the following options:
(1) B.Com (Bachelor of Commerce)
(2) BBA (Bachelor of Business Administration)
(3) BMS (Bachelor of Management Studies)
(4) BA in Journalism and Mass Communication
(5) Bachelor of Hotel Management (BHM)
(6) Bachelor of Travel and Tourism Management (BTTM)
(7) BA in Economics (without heavy math focus)
(8) BA in Psychology, Sociology, or Political Science
(9) Chartered Accountancy (CA)
(10) Company Secretary (CS)
(11) CMA (Cost and Management Accounting)
(12) Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
(13) Bachelor of Fine Arts (BFA)
(14) Fashion Design/Interior Design
(15) Integrated Law Programs (BA LLB)
(16) Bachelor in Public Administration
(17) Digital Marketing
(18) Data Analytics or Business Analytics
(19) Event Management
(20) Banking and Finance
(21) Foreign Language Studies
And many more ..........
If he is unsure about his interests, career counseling and aptitude tests can provide additional guidance. Encourage him to explore his options and choose what he feels excited about for his future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1083 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2024Hindi
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Career
My daughter will appear NIOS grade 10 exams this academic year in parts n next year the remaining subjects ie maths n science. She will pursue science stream in 11 n 12 th. What options are there in science stream in line with medical field without giving NEET exams and also she likes computer as a subject.
Ans: Hello.
Why your daughter is appearing in the NIOS 10th grade examination in two parts is not clear. It is suggested that try to clear 10th grade with the required subjects only in sitting i.e. in the same year if she wishes to pursue a science stream to avoid academic problems in some courses. But it seems that your daughter might be weak in mathematics, hence you might have decided to appear for 10th grade in parts. If she likes computers, then for a bright future in computer engineering one should be sound in mathematics. Without giving NEET, you have a lot of options in the medical field. It is highly suggested that instead of focusing on the available fields right now, it would be suggested that you explore the options in 2027 when your daughter will be in the 12th grade. According to her interest at that time, it will be more suitable to choose the options instead of thinking at this stage. Hence the options available are not suggested to you at this early stage. But to suggest, it is better to appear for NEET and get a mark memo (with any score) which will be very useful at the time of admission to many courses related to the medical field.
Best of luck to your daughter for the upcoming examinations and a bright future.
If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.
Radheshyam

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