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Dr Ashish Sehgal |114 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2024

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2024Hindi

Relationship

My wife takes spiritual practices very seriously and she thinks that sex will deteriorate the quality of her spiritual practices. She thinks sex and spirituality can't go together. I am always interested for sex. Any suggestion for both of us?

Ans: Balancing differing views on spirituality and intimacy can be challenging, but it's essential to approach the situation with open communication and understanding. Here are some suggestions that may help both of you find common ground:

Open Communication:

Have an open and honest conversation about each other's perspectives and beliefs regarding spirituality and intimacy.
Share your feelings, desires, and concerns without judgment. Make an effort to understand each other's viewpoints.

Educate Yourselves:

Read and learn together about different perspectives on spirituality and sexuality. Sometimes, gaining a broader understanding can help bridge the gap between differing beliefs.

Seek Flexibility

Explore ways to find a middle ground that respects both of your values. This might involve finding a balance between spiritual practices and physical intimacy that feels comfortable for both of you.

Involve a Professional:

Consider seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor or a sex therapist. They can provide a neutral and professional perspective to help navigate these conversations and find solutions that work for both of you.

Redefine Spiritual Practices:

Encourage your wife to explore spiritual practices that embrace physical intimacy as part of a holistic approach to spirituality. Some belief systems see sexual connection within a committed relationship as a sacred and spiritual act.

Set Mutual Goals:

Discuss your individual and shared goals within the relationship. Find common ground and align your aspirations, ensuring that both spiritual and intimate aspects are considered.

Respect Boundaries:

Acknowledge and respect each other's boundaries. If your wife feels uncomfortable with certain aspects, try to find alternatives that are agreeable to both of you.
Remember, the key is mutual understanding and respect. By openly discussing your feelings, educating yourselves, and seeking compromise, you can work together to find a harmonious balance that honors both your spiritual and intimate needs. If necessary, involving a professional can provide additional guidance and support.

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |1403 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 21, 2023

Question by naveen - Aug 20, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I am 40+, and my wife is 38. we don't have physical relation since one years as she does not have any interest in all these. I tried to convince and tried to raise feelings several times , but every time i had to face dissappointment. I love her so much that i cant think of other girl for my passion. please help me how can i make my sexual life smooth.

Ans: Dear Naveen,
You can make your sex life smooth by not focusing much on it.
Yes; focus instead on how to bond better as a couple.
For a woman, what happens within the bedroom is directly dependent on what happens outside of it. A lot of emotional connect where she feels wanted, loved, valued, cherished is where you should be spending time and raising feelings in.
Here's what you can do if you haven't done these already:
1. Spend time as a couple going on dates, vacations and more
2. Indulge in common interests together
3. Offer to help out with household chores not just over the weekends
4. Pamper her with not just gifts but encouraging her to spend time with her friends
5. Connect better with her side of the family as well
6. If you have children, offer to be more hands-on raising them
7. Indulge in non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, cuddling, kissing...

This does not directly impact your sex life but it helps you connect with your wife better where she feels nurtured enough to want to give back more into the relationship; intimacy being one of them!

All the best!

Kanchan Rai |444 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi. I am a 52 year old male, my wife is 53 and we have two grown up kids and a pet. I was in a job till 2018 and thereafter switched to my own practice and there were some financial compromises which had to be made including home shifting etc. My wife befriended certain females who I suspect led her towards a lot of spiritual gyaan though those females were more into their personal material life. My wife became so involved with them and their topics that even when we were intimate she would pause and talk about them. That gave me a kick away from physical relations with her. She currently is more into a lot of spirituality and drawn to such friends and some widowed family members who only take her towards that path. I want to lead a normal intimate life with her as I love her and do not want to hurt her. I took her to a Gynae too for check ups and she only has the normal issues which a woman of her age would have. Children and spirituality have become her priority and pet has become mine's. How do we get back as a normal couple?

Ans: It sounds like you're going through a challenging time in your relationship, and it's understandable that you're feeling disconnected and frustrated. Reconnecting with your wife and rebuilding intimacy can take time and effort, but it's definitely possible.Sit down with your wife and express your feelings openly and honestly. Let her know how her focus on spirituality and her friendships have affected you and your relationship. Avoid blaming or accusing her, but rather focus on expressing your own feelings and concerns. It's important to understand where your wife is coming from and why she's prioritizing spirituality and her friendships. Listen to her without judgment and try to empathize with her perspective. Understanding each other's motivations can help you find common ground. Explore activities or interests that you both enjoy and can do together. This could be anything from going for walks, cooking together, or attending a class or workshop that interests both of you. Finding common ground outside of spirituality can help strengthen your bond as a couple. Prioritize quality time together as a couple. Schedule regular date nights or weekend getaways where you can focus on each other and enjoy each other's company without distractions. Show your love and affection for each other through small gestures, compliments, and physical touch. Rebuilding intimacy often starts with reconnecting emotionally and expressing your love for each other in meaningful ways. Reconnecting as a couple takes time and effort, so be patient with each other and yourselves. It's normal to encounter setbacks along the way, but stay committed to working through them together. Remember that rebuilding intimacy and connection in a relationship is a journey, and it may not happen overnight. With patience, understanding, and effort from both of you, you can work towards restoring your relationship and creating a fulfilling partnership once again.

Anu Krishna |1403 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 23, 2024

Relationship

MY AGE IS 71 MY WIFE AGE IS 65. DUE TO REMOTOLOGY AND ARHTIRITIES SHE HAS BEEN HOSPITALISED 15DAYS AT THETIMEOF GOVID.AFTER THAT SHE IS TAKING MEDICINE AND DOCTORS VISIT ONCE IN 6MONTHS. FROM THE PAST 3YEARS SHE IS NOT INTERED IN SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. NOWADAYS I MUCH INTERESTED IN SEX WHEREAS MY WIFE IS DEAD AGAINST MY FEELINGS. KINDLY GIVE ME YOUR SUGGESTIONS

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Some medications do have side effects that can affect sex lives. This is something that you and your wife can discuss with a doctor who possibly may look at what can be done.
Also hormonal changes after during and after menopause shows a decline in sexual activity in many women. There are other forms of sexual intimacy that you and your wife can share. Discuss with her without sounding rigid only about sex being the important topic and make her the center of the discussion. It might help her to know that you still care and love her and she maybe more open to actually see what the challenges are.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1403 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hello Mam, I'm seeking your help over topic that might not be a usual one. I am 42 and my wife is 37 and we are married from 10years and have two loving kids. We r working professionals and my wife is fond of reading lot of spiritual gurus in office over internet, to which primarily I have no problem. Now the issue here is she has very low to no interest in aspirations over usual things between a couple like each other wishes, priortising dis relation before others, a shared dream,a shared hobby, house decor or a common social circle, etc, no ornaments at home ,adoring with just a bindi is a debatable thing as for her because it's all a dikhawa.(though grooming well for office is a duty not dikhawa) .We sleep in separate rooms due to kids, Sex exist but is seldom and mostly a one way traffic. She doesn't take interest in my emotional well being because as per her I'm too confined in materialistic topics . She has an allegation too some day she was seeking the same things from me and didnt got so has found it all in spirituality. While I wonder what was dat exact date as marriage to me was to have a loving romantic and if not perfect but a true relation. .I rather see this as excuse for her deep interest in spiritual journey. What is common and connect us today is we both love kids unconditionally. I am happy go lucky person who believe in karma, god believing and nurturing family from bottom of heart and take every day as new opportunity , but there is a large space I'm lagging definately in this relation. I don't have any interest in diving into all spiritual content at all that hold answers to mystery of life or beyond life. During time of marriage she didn't shared such thoughts (now she say it's continuos evolution) but I feel it's a true cheating of kind to be in marriage and instead of weaving common dreams , deep dive into unilateral agenda. I do get busy to fill this vaccume but I m worried when I think of future as such people tend to further cut off from usual life is what I believe. I'm worried once our primary duties r complete wih regard to kids what will be common grounds in this marriage and if she pursue all this and takes to another level why shall I hue and cry at 60 regretting for my golden past years and whatever remainder future. Moreover, I won't like to ruin the kids mental and emotional well being in their upbringing at any cost and therefore kindly guide how to work things out with her.. What will kids learn from us as they see us two odd mind people staying together.. How will they begin their Romantic relations if dey see ours in misery all through childhood. I feel so sorry for them. What can I do as of now as I feel clueless and helpless inside.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It does happen within marriages where over time, as one evolves during their journey, their interests may not match with one another...
It is possible that the two of you started the marriage liking and disliking similar things BUT your wife is possibly exploring her path.
Now, it obviously can be worrying as treading on different paths can make you distant from one another. But with a lot of sincere work put back into each other and the marriage, things can get better.
- understand and accept that there is nothing constant in life and everything is dynamically changing
- spouses can pursue their individual interests within the marriage without damaging the relationship

Arguing about why things must be a particular way will not make sense as that will only give her the necessary fuel to go further away from the marriage. Spiritual pursuits may not make much sense to you, but what if you actually took interest in how she looks at it and what she gains out of it. Genuinely being curious will only want her to get back home to you and share more with you and still be connected with you.
It's like a child suddenly getting interested in a game or playing an instrument so much that they talk, breathe and live it. What do you do? Don't you get curious, ask them more, encourage them and when they feel happy doing what they love, they come back to you feeling supported and loved.
This is only mys suggestion: talk to her, tell her about your concerns and still make sure she knows that you support her journey. I do feel things will change for you at home this way...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Latest Questions

Dr Nagarajan Jsk |183 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 19, 2024Hindi

Career

Hello sir I am mbbs graduated from russia in 2020,n passed with my fmge exam in india in 2021, I want to ask if i want to practice medicine or work as doctor in uk ? Is it necessary for me to pass plab exam exam? Or if i get sponsorship from any uk i will be able to work there and simultaneously i will give plab exam?? Please guide me i m so confused?

Ans: Hi, I understand that you pursued a medicine course in Russia (a non-European country) and, since you are from India, you have completed the FMGE. Now you want to practice or work in the UK as a doctor?

Based on your question, you are eligible to practice in India after completing your internship (which you haven't mentioned, but I assume you have completed it). The FMGE is essentially a licensure exam for Indian students who have completed their medical studies abroad, so you are eligible to practice in India only.

If you want to practice medicine in the UK, you need to complete the PLAB test, as you are from outside the UK/Switzerland/European countries (Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland).

You also inquired about sponsorship. Here is the information related to sponsorship for practicing medicine in the UK.
(Extracted from general medical council, uk org. )Applying for registration using sponsorship
If you apply through sponsorship, you will have to satisfy the sponsor that you possess the knowledge, skills and experience required for practising as a fully registered medical practitioner in the UK. Each sponsor has their own scheme which we have pre-approved. If you can satisfy the requirements of their scheme, they will issue you with a Sponsorship Registration Certificate (SRC) which you will need for your application with us. Please ensure this is a Sponsorship Registration Certificate for GMC registration, as we can’t accept UK visa sponsorship certificates for your application for registration.
Please note that a core part of all sponsors' criteria is that a doctor applying for an offer of sponsorship must have been engaged in medical practice for three out of the last five years including the most recent 12 months. If you cannot meet these minimum criteria, it is unlikely that you'll be able to supply sufficient evidence to support your application for sponsorship.
Doctors applying through sponsorship are required to demonstrate their English language skills by achieving our current minimum scores in the academic version of the IELTS test or the OET (medicine version).
• Alder Hey International Fellowship Scheme (Anaesthetics)
• Betsi Cadwaladr University Health Board - BCUHB IMG Sponsorship Scheme
• BAPIO Training Academy Ltd – BTA International Fellowship Scheme
• BAPIO Training Academy Ltd – International Training Programme for Postgraduate Doctors
• BAPIO Training Academy Ltd - BTA International Fellowship Scheme – Internal Medicine with interest in Oncology with MSc in Oncology
• Barking Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals NHS Trust - BHRUT Sponsorship Scheme for Overseas Doctors in Clinical Radiology
• Birmingham and Solihull Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry (Birmingham)
• Birmingham Women’s and Children’s Hospital – Birmingham Women’s and Children’s International Medical Graduate sponsorship scheme
• Bradford District Care NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Cambridge IVF, Cambridge University Hospitals NHS Trust – IVF Senior Clinical Fellowship Scheme
• Cambridge University Hospital – Senior Clinical Fellowship Scheme in Intensive Care Medicine/Anaesthesia
• Canterbury Christ Church University
• Cumbria Northumberland Tyne and Wear NHS Psychiatry Fellowship Programme
• Derbyshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry
• Dudley Group NHS Foundation Trust
• East Lancashire Hospitals NHS Trust - Clinical Fellowship in Urology or Ophthalmology
• East Lancashire Hospital NHS Trust - Specialist Clinical Fellowship in Pain Management
• East London NHS Foundation Trust (ELFT) – ELFT Advanced International Fellowship in Psychiatry
• East Suffolk and North Essex NHS Foundation Trust – ICENI Centre Fellowships Programme
• Edge Hill University and Wrightington, Wigan and Leigh NHS Trust – International Training Fellowships in MCh programmes
• ENT UK – Royal College of Surgeons
• Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust – EPUT Advanced Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Frimley Health NHS Foundation Trust – International Fellowship in Regional Anaesthesia combined with MSc in Principles of Regional Anaesthesia at the University of East Anglia
• Great Ormond Street Hospital International Fellowship Programme
• Guy's and St Thomas' Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Critical Care
• Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS Foundation Trust – International Clinical Fellowship Programme (ICFP)
• Guy's and St Thomas' Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Obstetrics and Gynaecology
• Guy’s and St Thomas’ NHS Hospitals Foundation Trust – Oncology Specialty Training
• Guy's and St Thomas' NHS Hospitals Foundation Trust – Specialty Training in Anaesthetics
• Harefield Hospital, Royal Brompton and Harefield NHS Trust – Anaesthesia and Critical Care
• Hertfordshire Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust
• Hull University Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust – International Fellows at Hull University Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust
• Humber Teaching NHS Foundation Trust - Sponsored International Fellowship Scheme in Psychiatry
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – Emergency Medicine
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – Haematology
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – International Anaesthesia Trainees
• Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust – Intensive Care Medicine
• Imperial College, London - Clinical Research
• King’s College Hospital NHS Trusts – International Critical Care Fellowship
• King’s College Hospital NHS Trusts – Paediatric Critical Care Fellowship
• Lancashire & South Cumbria NHS Foundation Trust - Psychiatry specialty Fellowship Scheme
• Lancashire Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust - Overseas Registrar Development and Recruitment (ORDER)
• Leeds Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust – International Fellowship Programme
• Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust – International Medical Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry
• Lincolnshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust – CESR Fellowship in Psychiatry or Sponsored Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Lysholm Dept of Neuroradiology – National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery, UCL
• Manchester University NHS Foundation Trust – International Fellowship Programme
• Midlands Partnership NHS Foundation Trust
• Ministry of Defence – International Military Clinical Fellowships
• Modality Partnership - Modality Primary Care International Fellowship Scheme
• NAViGO Health and Social Care CIC – International Medical Fellowship in Psychiatry
• NHS England, East of England - East of England International Office GMC Sponsorship
• NHS Fife – CESR Fellowship Programme in Psychiatry
• NHS Grampian – Psychiatry CESR Fellowship Programme
• NHS Grampian – Multi-specialty SAS Fellowship
• NHS Wales Shared Services Partnership (NWSSP) – All Wales International Medical Recruitment Programme
• Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust (NSFT) - Advanced Clinical Fellowship in Psychiatry
• North Lincolnshire and Goole NHS Foundation Trust (NLAG) Sponsorship Programme
• Northampton General Hospital – Clinical Fellowship in Regional Anaesthesia
• Northampton General Hospital NHS Trust - International Clinical Fellowship in Regional Anaesthesia, Vascular Anaesthesia, or Peri-operative Medicine
• Northamptonshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust – International Clinical Fellowship Scheme
• Northamptonshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust – International Clinical Fellowship Scheme (Psychiatry)
• Northern Care Alliance – NCA International Medical Fellowship Scheme
• Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Oxford Eye Hospital
• Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Oxford Intensive Care Medicine (OxICM) Sponsorship Scheme
• Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – Oxford University Hospitals Sponsorship Scheme
• Oxford University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – The Oxford International Neonatal and Paediatric Fellowship Programme
• Rotherham Doncaster and South Humber NHS Foundation Trust - Sponsored International Fellowship Scheme in Psychiatry
• Royal College of Anaesthetists – Global Fellowship Scheme (Anaesthesia or ICM)
• Royal College of Anaesthetists – MTI Scheme
• Royal College of Emergency Medicine
• Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists – MTI Scheme
• Royal College of Ophthalmologists
• Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health – International Paediatric Sponsorship Scheme
• Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health – MTI Scheme
• Royal College of Pathologists
• Royal College of Physicians of Edinburgh
• Royal College of Surgeons of England
• Royal College of Physicians of London
• Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Glasgow
• Royal College of Psychiatrists – MTI Scheme
• Royal College of Radiologists – Clinical Radiology
• Royal College of Radiologists – Clinical Oncology
• Royal College of Radiologists – RCR Specialty Training Sponsorship Scheme
• Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh
• Royal Devon and Exeter NHS Trust
• Royal Papworth Hospital NHS Foundation Trust – Senior Clinical Fellowship Programme in Anaesthesia and Critical Care
• Royal Wolverhampton Trust – Clinical Fellowship Programme
• Sheffield Children’s NHS Foundation Trust - Rotational Clinical Fellows in Paediatrics, Trauma and Orthopaedic International Fellows, and Subspeciality Fellows in Paediatrics
• Sheffield Health and Social Care NHS Foundation Trust - International Medical Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Somerset NHS Foundation Trust – Somerset Overseas Doctors Sponsorship Scheme
• Somerset NHS Foundation Trust – Psychiatry Overseas Doctors Sponsorship Scheme
• South Warwickshire University NHS Foundation Trust - GMC Multispecialty Sponsorship Scheme
• South West Yorkshire Partnership NHS Foundation Trust – International Fellowship in Psychiatry
• Southmead Hospital, North Bristol NHS Trust – International Obstetrics and Gynaecology Training Programme
• St Bartholomew’s Hospital, Barts Health NHS Trust – St Bartholomew’s Critical Care Fellowship
• St George’s University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – International Anaesthetics Fellowship Programme
• St George’s University Hospital NHS Foundation Trust (Dr Nirav Shah) – International Intensive Care Medicine Trainees
• St George’s University Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust – International Emergency Medicine Trainees
• Surrey and Borders Partnership (SABP) NHS Foundation Trust – International Psychiatric and Community Paediatrics Sponsorship Scheme
• Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Foundation Trust – International Psychiatric CESR or SAS Fellowship
• University College London Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, Department of Critical Care – Clinical Fellowship Critical Care and Perioperative Medicine
• University Hospital Birmingham NHS Foundation Trust - International Training Fellowship Programme
• University Hospitals Birmingham NHS Foundation Trust - UHB LED Fellowship Programme
• University Hospitals Bristol and Weston NHS Foundation Trust – Bristol Children's Hospital International Fellowship Scheme
• University Hospitals Bristol and Weston NHS Foundation Trust - Department of General Internal Medicine at Weston General Hospital
• University Hospitals Coventry and Warwickshire NHS Trust
• University Hospitals of Leicester NHS Trust - Postgraduate Clinical Fellowship Programme
• University of Buckingham – Master of Medicine
• University of Buckingham – Master of Surgery
• University of Chester and Cheshire and Wirral Partnership NHS Trust – International Training Fellows Psychiatry
• University of Hertfordshire – Professional Doctorate in General Internal Medicine (Clinical MD) Programme
KINDLY NOTE: If your sponsor is not on this list then you cannot apply using sponsorship.
If you have any further questions, please visit the GMC website for more information.

WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST.

Dr Nagarajan Jsk |183 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 02, 2024Hindi

Career

I’m mbbs final year student from Kathmandu university want pg medicine from UAE

Ans: You have provided very limited information. I understand that you are a student from Kathmandu University and wish to pursue higher education in medicine in the UAE. To provide a more accurate response, I need the following details:

What is your nationality? (Based on your nationality, I can check the relevant requirements from the health department regarding courses and internships).

Dr Nagarajan Jsk |183 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2024Hindi

Career

Sir my son has 92 percentile in cat 2024..what are his scopes of admission.

Ans: Hi Sir,
You have provided very limited information to obtain the details. However, the percentile of the candidate will not solely determine the admission process. Other factors are also involved, including:

- Course
- Institution
- Caste
- Creamy layer
- Gender

But, there may be possibilities for admission to the following IIMs: IIM Visakhapatnam, Udaipur, Bodhgaya, Shillong, and Rohtak.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7290 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2024Hindi

Money

Hi Sir, I follow your articles regularly and your detailed assessment is really awesome.I am 47yrs Male with wife, 20&18 years kids, elder one is in B.Tech and younger one is 12th. My wife is a home maker. Coming to financials. I have 4 houses including the one residing worth 10cr(total) and getting rental income of 70k per month, invested in stocks and MFs worth 60L, have foreign stocks of worth 1.7cr, accumulated pf around 1.3cr. I have farm lands worth 5cr. Have 1.2cr loan and salary of ~4L (net). current sips in equity 70k/month, have 5Cr term plan, health insurance for family 50L. How do I plan my retirement at 52-53years assuming 80 years life expectancy. Don't want to depend on kids and need regular income ~3-4L per month.

Ans: Asset Evaluation
Real Estate:
You own four houses worth Rs 10 crore, generating Rs 70,000 monthly rental income. This is a solid base for passive income. However, real estate can have fluctuating maintenance costs, tenant issues, and varying rental yields over time.

Stocks and Mutual Funds:
Your Rs 60 lakh investment in stocks and mutual funds is a commendable step. Active mutual funds offer professional fund management and can outperform index funds over time.

Foreign Stocks:
Your Rs 1.7 crore portfolio in foreign stocks adds geographical diversification. Monitor currency exchange fluctuations and global market trends.

Provident Fund (PF):
With Rs 1.3 crore in PF, this is a reliable retirement corpus. The fund provides fixed returns and tax benefits, adding stability.

Farm Lands:
Farm lands worth Rs 5 crore are an illiquid but valuable asset. They might not generate consistent income unless leased or developed.

Loans:
A loan liability of Rs 1.2 crore needs prioritised repayment. Focus on loans with higher interest rates first.

Insurance Coverage:
A Rs 5 crore term plan is robust. Your Rs 50 lakh health insurance is sufficient for unexpected medical emergencies.

Retirement Goals
You need Rs 3–4 lakh monthly for 27–28 years post-retirement.
The portfolio must generate steady, inflation-adjusted returns.
Action Plan for Retirement
Debt Management
Prepay High-Interest Loans:
Use a portion of your surplus income to prepay loans. This reduces interest outflow and increases your cash flow.

Avoid New Loans:
Focus on reducing existing liabilities instead of taking on new ones.

Portfolio Restructuring
Real Estate:
Retain essential properties. Sell underperforming or non-essential properties to reduce concentration in real estate. Invest proceeds in mutual funds or debt instruments for diversification.

Mutual Funds (MFs):
Increase SIPs in actively managed funds. They outperform direct funds due to guidance from Certified Financial Planners and MFDs. Regular funds offer better tracking and professional assistance.

Stocks:
Monitor direct equity investments closely. Consider reallocating underperforming stocks to mutual funds for better management.

Debt Instruments:
Invest in high-quality debt funds or fixed-income securities for stability. These instruments balance equity volatility and ensure steady returns.

SIP Strategy
Increase SIPs from Rs 70,000 to Rs 1 lakh/month.
Allocate 70% to equity funds for long-term growth.
Invest 30% in debt funds for stability and liquidity.
Emergency Fund
Maintain a 12-month expense reserve in liquid funds or fixed deposits.
This covers unexpected expenses without disturbing investments.
Income During Retirement
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Use SWPs in mutual funds to generate regular income.
Withdraw 6–8% annually from your mutual fund portfolio for a steady income stream.
Rental Income Optimisation
Review property rents regularly.
Invest part of rental income in equity or debt mutual funds for compounding.
Dividend Stocks
Retain high-dividend-yield stocks for regular income.
Reinvest surplus dividends for long-term growth.
Tax Efficiency
Equity Funds Taxation:
Long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds Taxation:
Both short- and long-term gains are taxed per your income slab.

Real Estate Capital Gains:
Use exemptions under Sections 54 or 54F to save tax on property sales.

Inflation Protection
Allocate 60–70% of your portfolio to equity investments.

Equity provides inflation-adjusted returns over time.

Debt funds and fixed instruments safeguard against equity market volatility.

Estate Planning
Draft a will to allocate assets transparently among family members.
Use nomination and joint ownership to avoid legal complications.
Consider a family trust for farm lands to avoid disputes.
Periodic Review
Review your financial plan every six months.
Adjust investments based on market conditions, goals, and needs.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner regularly for updates.
Finally
A well-diversified portfolio ensures financial independence post-retirement. Focus on debt repayment, portfolio balance, and tax-efficient withdrawals. Your assets can comfortably generate Rs 3–4 lakh monthly income, adjusted for inflation.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Kanchan Rai |444 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Question by Kevin - Dec 19, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am the eldest sibling in our families and aged 51. Normally, whenever anyone in the family has a problem - financial, mental, psychological, issue with people or anything else, they come up to discuss with me and share. Well, many would say I am lucky as people look up to me when they are in any kind of a problem. But that is not the case. Sadly no one is around with whom I can discuss or even think to share my issues, my problems. I do not have any friends. Sadly, yes, that is a fact and at my age, I dont expect that here we have a culture where we can get to making friends, at least the kind of friends with whom you can confide, share your feelings, problems. I tried and failed. Maybe because I am introvert or maybe I am too cautious. To make it more complicated, I dont work in the regular kind of job. I am a lone person who works as a freelance from home. This limits my outreach when it comes to interacting with real people. I have clients, business contacts, but I cannot get personal with them. It will never be a good choice. My wife is busy with her job + we do not have any relation beyond the daily matters related to household and it has been more than 10 years now that we live this way. Tried to sort out things with her but she just does not have time and interest (after all who wants to add on to tensions, stress). My daughter is after all my daughter - I cannot share these with her, and definitely at 10 she is too young to be one to discuss such stuff. I am not sure how far this issue can be fixed but I am hopeful to find some path here.

Ans: Dear Kevin,
Starting small can be helpful. Consider connecting with people through shared interests or hobbies, either online or in person, where the pressure to immediately open up is minimal. Online communities, local meetups, or volunteer activities can create low-stakes opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals. The goal isn’t to instantly find someone to confide in but to slowly build a sense of belonging and companionship.

Your relationship with your wife appears to be another significant source of emotional distance. While her lack of interest in deep conversations may seem like a barrier, it’s worth exploring other ways to reconnect—perhaps by spending time together in shared activities or revisiting moments that once brought you closer. Sometimes, relationships stuck in routines benefit from new experiences or even professional counseling to navigate the underlying dynamics.

Regarding your daughter, while it’s clear she cannot shoulder your emotional burdens, she can still be a source of joy and connection. Investing time in activities with her can provide a sense of fulfillment and grounding that counters loneliness.

Above all, remember that reaching out for professional support, such as therapy, is not a sign of weakness but an act of self-care. A therapist can provide a safe space to express your feelings and help you develop strategies to foster deeper connections and manage emotional isolation.

You deserve to feel supported and connected, and even if the journey to finding that seems long, every step you take toward opening up or seeking out others is a move toward a more fulfilling and less lonely existence.

T S Khurana |260 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024Hindi

Money

My Question is for New Tax Regime for Financial Year 2024 – 25. Total gross Income is Rs.9 lakhs and along with that income from share / stock trading i.e short term gains of Rs. 1 lakh. Could you please help me advise if what would be the tax liability?

Ans: 01. Considering your Income of Rs.9.00 lakhs as business income & Rs.1.00 lakh as STCG on securities, without any tax savings, your tax liability would be around Rs.62,400.00 in New tax regime. If we opt for the old tax regime, your tax liability would be much more than this.
Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

T S Khurana |260 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Question by SA - Nov 11, 2024Hindi

Money

I got a residential property through will from my mother,,property is 30 years old and i am planning to sell it, in that case i am going to get Rs 165lacks,, what will be the tax implication and how to avoid the same kindly advise i am 55 years old married man with a daughter

Ans: 01. In this case, you would be subjected to LTCG (Long Term Capital Gain) tax.
02. To work out LTCG, you should reduce its Cost from the Sale proceeds (Rs.165.00 lakhs).
of property, which was costed to your mother.
03. However, following details may help you to assess your tax liability.
Under present provisions of Income Tax Act, you may opt any of the options (Long Term
Capital Gains), as under :
(a). Tax Rate 12.50% without indexation or
(b). Tax Rate of 20% with Indexation.
04. You may calculate your tax liability under both options & may opt for the tax regime, where tax liability is minimum.
05. To avoid tax, you may invest in purchase of some house property. Exemption available would be minimum of Cost of new house property or the LTCG, which ever is less.
06. You have the option to purchase Capital Gain Bonds of NHAI etc., for tax saving.
07. Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

T S Khurana |260 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi

Money

Hello Sir, I worked in a Pvt Ltd company from 2006 to 2011, and they had their own PF trust. The company was later sold off to another firm. I still haven't withdrawn the my PF amount. How will i be able to do that. I have the PF number and ESP number. Since this was before 2011 , my UAN is not linked to this account. How will i be able to retrieve my PF amount that is still stuck here.

Ans: Kindly keep in touch with your previous employer (present owner of the company), in this connection. There should not be any problem in getting your PF amount, except certain formalities/ forms to be submitted.
Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

T S Khurana |260 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tax Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2024Hindi

Money

Dear Guru. I have inherited a property in Mumbai from my deceased father which was purchased in 1983 by him. If today i sell the property which is worth 2.60 Crs whats my capital gains tax and how will it be calculated

Ans: 01. In absence of exact figures, it is not possible to calculate your Capital Gains Tax. However, following details may help you to assess your tax liability.
02. Under present provisions of Income Tax Act, you may opt any of the options (Long Term
Capital Gains), as under :
(a). Tax Rate 12.50% without indexation or
(b). Tax Rate of 20% with Indexation.
03. You may calculate your tax liability under both options & may opt for the tax regime, where tax liability is minimum.
04. Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7290 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Question by Anil - Dec 20, 2024Hindi

Money

Top4 sips with 15k amount suggest me

Ans: Here’s an updated strategy for your Rs. 15,000 SIP allocation, replacing the sectoral/thematic fund with a small-cap fund for better long-term growth potential.

Suggested SIP Allocation (Rs. 15,000)
Large-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 4,000/month
Objective: Stability and steady growth by investing in India’s top 100 companies.
Why Choose: Provides consistent returns and low volatility in your portfolio.
Flexi-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 4,000/month
Objective: Diversified exposure across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.
Why Choose: Offers balanced risk and returns with flexibility during market cycles.
Mid-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 3,500/month
Objective: Tap into the growth potential of medium-sized companies.
Why Choose: Higher returns with manageable risk compared to small caps.
Small-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 3,500/month
Objective: Focus on fast-growing small-cap companies.
Why Choose: High-growth potential over the long term, though with higher volatility.
Why Include Small-Cap Funds?
Long-Term Growth: Small-cap companies have immense potential to grow significantly over time.
Diversification: Adds exposure to an underrepresented segment, complementing large and mid-caps.
High Returns: Potential for higher returns compared to other categories, albeit with higher risk.
Key Considerations
Investment Horizon: Stay invested for at least 7-10 years to mitigate short-term volatility.
Active Fund Management: Avoid direct or index funds to leverage professional expertise.
Regular Monitoring: Review fund performance periodically with a Certified Financial Planner.
Tax Implications
Equity Funds:
LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh/year taxed at 12.5%.
STCG (held less than 1 year) taxed at 20%.
Final Insights
This updated allocation ensures a mix of stability, moderate risk, and high growth. With consistent SIPs and periodic reviews, you can achieve robust wealth creation over the long term. A Certified Financial Planner can assist in optimising your investment strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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