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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach 

33 Answers | 4 Followers

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more

Answered on Mar 17, 2023

Relationship
how to tackle menopause related anxiety and behaviour related issues of 44 years old childless lady
Ans: Menopause can be a challenging time for many women, as it can bring about various physical and emotional changes. Anxiety and behavior-related issues are not uncommon during this time. Here are some ways to tackle these issues:

Seek professional help: It's important to seek help from a healthcare professional who can help you understand your symptoms and provide appropriate treatment. A doctor or therapist may recommend hormone therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, or other forms of treatment to help manage anxiety and behavior-related issues.

Exercise: Regular exercise can help reduce anxiety and improve mood. It also promotes better sleep, which can be challenging during menopause.

Practice relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, meditation, yoga, and other relaxation techniques can help reduce anxiety and promote relaxation.

Maintain a healthy lifestyle: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and reducing stress can help alleviate menopause symptoms.

Join a support group: Joining a menopause support group can provide you with a sense of community and support. It can also be a helpful resource for information and advice.

Consider alternative therapies: Some women find relief from menopause symptoms through alternative therapies, such as acupuncture, massage, or herbal supplements. It's important to speak with a healthcare professional before trying any alternative therapy.

Remember, menopause is a natural part of life, and it's important to take care of yourself during this time. By seeking help, staying active, practicing relaxation techniques, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, you can tackle menopause-related anxiety and behavior-related issues.
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Answered on Mar 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 21, 2023
Relationship
I’m 41 male, married for last 15 years and have 1 kid. We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot. We live in a joint family ,my wife is an alcoholic and for the same i ready apply divorce 3 time but due to my son i always gave her chance to change her self, but its high time now i apply 4 th time divorce, m i right or wrong??
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you and your wife are going through such a difficult time. Dealing with addiction can be challenging for both the individual struggling with it and their loved ones. It's important to recognize that addiction is a disease and requires professional help and support to overcome.

Divorce is a serious decision and should not be taken lightly. It's important to consider all of the factors involved and to seek professional guidance before making any decisions. It sounds like you have tried to work through your wife's addiction for a long time and have given her multiple chances to change, but have not seen the results you were hoping for.

If you have exhausted all options and feel that divorce is the best course of action for you and your son, then you are entitled to make that decision. However, it's important to consider the impact that divorce may have on your son and to make sure that he is receiving the support and care that he needs during this difficult time.

I would encourage you to seek the guidance of a professional counselor or therapist to help you navigate this difficult decision and to explore all of your options. They can provide you with the support and guidance you need to make the best decision for yourself and your family.
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Answered on Mar 16, 2023

I am 33 year old and my wife is 2 year elder than me, we married in 2014 and we have a son who is 5 year old. But i noticed from last 6 years she didn't interested in me. I tried a lot to make her smile many times i do what she want, even if i do something i want she never be so happy. I done a conversation with her a lot about that but she said she is not fit, she always think about her anxiety and cervical issue. We hardly do sex sometimes maybe once in a month, she never ask me to do, she try to hide her feelings her lot i ask many times to be open. She just show anger on me many times on small topics, even she picks issues and those are very small. I ask already do you like to take divorce then tell me, but she didn't replied and angry again. She just give a excuse that i am not well having cervical pain, even we go to many doctors. Many times she is watching reels and Kdramas she keep ignoring me. What should i do ? Sometimes i think i should find someone outside for my happy life ? Because like that i kill my feelings and myself i think that because this is not compromise for family as i think ?
Ans: It is sad to hear that you are experiencing this in your marriage. It's important to understand that a lack of interest or intimacy in a marriage can have many different causes, including physical and emotional issues. It's also important to remember that communication is key in any relationship, and it sounds like you have tried to have conversations with your wife about your concerns.

However, it's also important to recognize that if you are feeling unfulfilled and unhappy in your marriage, seeking intimacy outside of the marriage is not a solution. Infidelity can cause irreparable damage to a relationship and can also be emotionally devastating for all parties involved.

Instead, I would encourage you to continue to communicate with your wife about your concerns and explore different ways to address the issues that you are experiencing. This may involve seeking counseling or therapy together, or it may involve taking steps to address any physical or emotional issues that are impacting your wife's interest in intimacy.

Ultimately, the decision to end a marriage is a deeply personal one that should be made after careful consideration and with the guidance of a professional counselor or therapist. If you feel like your needs are not being met in your marriage and you are considering divorce, I would encourage you to seek the support and guidance of a qualified professional to help you navigate this difficult process.
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Answered on Mar 16, 2023

Relationship
My husband has been in a relationship with a woman for past 6yrs i came to know 3 yrs ago and confronted him.Initially he broke up with her but they came together again.Eqch time i confronted him he said to me you are my life and the relationship with the other woman is just a phase.It will die it's own death and then cries his heart out to stop me from leaving him. Where do I stand ? What should I do to know it's ended forever.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this situation with your husband. It's understandable that you feel hurt and confused about where you stand in your relationship.

First and foremost, you have to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel respected, loved, and secure. It's important to have a conversation with your husband and express your feelings about the situation. Let him know how his behavior has affected you and your relationship. Be clear about what you expect from him moving forward.

It's also important to set boundaries and make sure that they are respected. If you feel uncomfortable with him seeing or talking to the other woman, let him know that it's not acceptable. Consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or a marriage counselor to work through the issues in your relationship and communicate effectively.

Ultimately, it's up to your husband to end the relationship with the other woman and commit to your marriage. If he continues to choose the other woman over you, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship and decide what's best for you in the long run. Remember, you deserve to be happy and have a fulfilling relationship.
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Answered on Mar 11, 2023

Relationship
Hello, I am 45 yrs old, divorced , in love with 29 yrs old girl. We deeply are in love with each other, however Girl’s Parents are not agreeing to our marriage, citing age gap. It’s been 2.5 yrs, have met her Parents many times at their home. Her Parents consider me as a nice guy , but the age gap factor is not letting them to approve our relationship. Am seriously stressed and want to wary that girl only. Request you to kindly suggest 🙏
Ans: It can be challenging when families do not approve of a relationship due to age differences or other factors. However, it's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to enter into a relationship and get married is a personal one that should be based on the feelings and desires of the two people involved.

It's important to continue to communicate openly and honestly with your girlfriend and her parents about your feelings and intentions. Try to listen to their concerns and address them in a respectful and thoughtful way. It may also be helpful to enlist the support of a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, who can help facilitate a productive conversation between you and your girlfriend's parents.

However, it's also important to recognize that ultimately, you cannot control the decisions of others. If your girlfriend's parents continue to disapprove of the relationship, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is sustainable in the long term. It's important to consider not only your feelings for each other, but also the practical realities of your situation and whether you can build a fulfilling and happy life together despite any external challenges.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your girlfriend to decide what is best for your relationship and your future. It may be helpful to continue to work on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual support, regardless of the outcome with her parents.
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Answered on Mar 11, 2023

Relationship
He always fight with me how I handle this situation
Ans: Fighting with your partner can be a difficult and stressful experience. If you're finding that you and your partner are constantly fighting, it may be helpful to take a step back and reflect on what may be causing the conflict.

First, try to identify the triggers that lead to arguments between you and your partner. Are there certain topics or situations that tend to set off disagreements? Understanding what causes conflicts can help you and your partner avoid these situations or approach them in a more productive way.

It's also important to work on communication skills. When you and your partner are in the midst of an argument, try to remain calm and listen actively to what they have to say. Avoid interrupting or talking over them, and take the time to reflect on your own feelings before responding. If the conversation becomes too heated, take a break and come back to it when both of you have had a chance to cool down.

If you find that you're unable to resolve conflicts on your own, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional relationship counselor. A trained counselor can provide you and your partner with tools and strategies for improving communication, managing conflicts, and strengthening your relationship.

Remember, building a strong and healthy relationship takes effort and commitment from both partners. By working together and focusing on effective communication, you and your partner can overcome conflicts and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
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Answered on Mar 11, 2023

Relationship
Hello Sir/ Ma'am I am 43 in the teaching profession based in Guwahati and had a late marriage at 40 years with a teacher girl aged 5 years younger to me. We have a 2.5 years old cute male child and I love my wife.But my in-laws have insulted my parents and my wife's 3 sisters interferes too much in our personal life and strangely my wife has turned a blind eye to all these.For example recently wife's younger sister texted me "are you nuts" which is not acceptable as I am elder. Things are going for the worse now. My patience is being tested. Please help.
Ans: It's understandable that you're feeling frustrated and upset about the situation with your in-laws and your wife's sisters. It can be difficult to navigate family dynamics, especially when there are conflicts and misunderstandings involved.

First and foremost, it's important to communicate your feelings to your wife in a calm and respectful manner. Let her know how her family's behavior is affecting you and your relationship, and encourage her to work with you to establish healthy boundaries with her family.

It's also important to set clear boundaries with your in-laws and your wife's sisters. Let them know that their behavior is not acceptable and that you expect to be treated with respect. Be firm but polite, and try to avoid escalating the situation with anger or aggression.

If the situation continues to escalate or you feel like you're not able to resolve the conflicts on your own, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional counselor or mediator. They can provide you with strategies for managing difficult family dynamics and help you and your wife work together to strengthen your relationship.

Remember that building strong, healthy relationships takes time and effort. It's important to be patient and persistent, and to continue to communicate openly and honestly with your wife and her family.
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Answered on Mar 01, 2023

Relationship
Hi, my son is 10 years old and from last 3 to 4 months he is not going to school. As soon as he step into the School his stomach starts paining. We have done Sonography twice. He is not acting also for not going to school. We can fee his severe pain when we insist for School or tuition. My family is thinking that some negativity he is facing from. We also shown to 2 religious gurus they also tried. Please advice.
Ans: I can understand your concern for your son's health and education. It sounds like he is experiencing a lot of physical discomfort when he has to go to school, and this is making it difficult for him to attend. It's good that you have already taken him to a doctor for a sonography and have sought advice from religious gurus, but there might be other options to consider as well.

One possibility is that your son may be experiencing anxiety related to going to school. Anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms like stomach pain, and it can be difficult for children to understand and express what they are feeling. It might be helpful to talk to your son and try to understand what is causing his anxiety. You can also seek the help of a counselor or therapist who can help your son develop coping skills to manage his anxiety.

Another possibility is that your son might be experiencing bullying or other negative experiences at school that are causing him distress. It's important to talk to your son's teachers and school staff to find out if there are any issues that might be contributing to his discomfort. They might be able to provide additional support or resources to help your son feel more comfortable at school.

Finally, it's important to continue to monitor your son's physical health and work with his doctor to rule out any underlying medical conditions. If your son continues to experience pain or discomfort, it's important to seek medical attention and follow up with any recommended treatments or interventions.

Overall, it's important to be patient and supportive with your son during this time. By working together with your son, his school, and his healthcare providers, you can help him overcome his difficulties and feel more comfortable and confident in school.
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Answered on Mar 01, 2023

Career
Hello Doctor, My son aged 25 years reluctantly agreed to study abroad initially but his visa got rejected.He re applied again and again yet his his visa got rejected.Now he is desperate and does not sleep till early morning just thinking.I am getting worried for him.How do I convince him that there could be better things for him and he should not be negative
Ans: I can definitely understand your concern for your son, and I'm here to help. It sounds like your son has been going through a tough time with his visa applications being rejected repeatedly, and this can be really frustrating and disheartening.

First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge your son's feelings and let him know that you're there for him. It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed and stressed in a situation like this, and it's okay to take some time to process those emotions.

One thing you can do is encourage your son to take a break from the visa application process and do something he enjoys. This can help him relax and reduce his stress levels. You can also explore alternative options with him, such as studying in a different country or pursuing a different course.

It might also be helpful to discuss the reasons for the visa rejections with your son, so he can understand the areas he needs to work on before applying again. It's important to stay positive and optimistic during difficult times, and to remind your son that setbacks are a part of life, but with determination and hard work, he can overcome them.

If your son's stress levels continue to be high, it might be helpful to seek professional help. You can encourage him to speak to a therapist or a counselor who can provide him with tools to cope with stress and anxiety.

Remember, it's important to be patient and supportive during this time. With your help and encouragement, your son can overcome this setback and achieve his goals.
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Answered on Feb 27, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023
Relationship
Hi , My relationship started in 2017 was 27 then , We met in office she was 23 and then it blossomed and when it started getting serious i told him that i suffer from a chronic condition of Spondylitis & had some limitation of flexibility in upper spine & also told her that as per Doctors condition cannot be cured and my spine will be like this only and will get worse as it is a progressive disease and will involve other joints also because i did not wanted to hide anything from her as im a pure and truthful person at heart and this was my first relationship with any girl she accepted and said does not matter we will try our best to solve this but all these i was so down by the negative consultations by doctors that it will worse & medication had side effects that in mind i thought i will never get better and accepted to live with pain and told her this also but she seemed very positive and said we try to get it better , After 6 months working we both joined new companies , We also used to fight because she was a little immuature and used to fight for silly reasons and i used to tell if you want to leave relationship you can because i was already under pain but deep down from my heart never wanted to leave her this highs and lows went and in 2019 she cheated on me with a office colleague which she herself expressed to me and beg for pardon since i used to love her i accepted her for that she used to have a bf also before me which she already broke up with before meeting me My condition got worse in 2019,2020 due to work pressure but still was able to work and never took long leave she also tried to get me better by motivating me and i also supported her in her life , Then in 2021 she told her parents about me and a meeting was fixed her parents were not happy after seeing my condition which was visible she fight with her parents for me , I aksed them for some time and i did whatever to improve my condition and indeed in all these 18 years of suffering my condition got improved it used to pain less and i was becoming more active and our engagement was done and marrige was fixed But things started to getting worse between us after involvement of families since it was intercaste marrige not she frequent used to taunt me about my condtion that her family was suffering because of me and such things where was your family all these years and why they did not support you in this disease which used to make me feel very bad my family is my utmost importance as they supported me everytime right from the costly medications , academics etc in anger i said some bad words to her which i lament i even went to home crying to forgive and do not broke marriage but she blocked me my no from all social site and said she want to move on and her family broke the marriage and she said i only professionally supported her before marriage i can only support her on her work , health only Was it my fault to be true and tell her everything I did not used to buy her gifts but i told her i will be there with you like a rock whenever you need me My style of love is we support and respect each other to grow in life,have mutual respect and these materialistics things hardly matter It is almost 4 monhts now she blocked i still cannot forget her we had a 6 years relationship Im 33 now and don't want to get married as i don't think i will forget her i contacted her though email and gave my wishes to her but did not have any reply How can be so rude & cold atleast she could have said to me a good luck after showing so much care for 6 years Is this how relationship works i wonder have to leave my innocence at heart and be practical What should i do now , my health condition has also got improved when she left me but mentally i have not forgoten her , I still wish her good luck Please advise it is killing me from inside is this how the world works was i wrong in tellling her everything true
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. It sounds like you were very honest with your partner about your chronic condition and limitations from the very beginning of your relationship. Despite some ups and downs, you were able to maintain a loving relationship for six years.

However, it seems that after you both shared your plans of marriage with your families, things took a negative turn. Your partner's family disapproved of your medical condition and she started to say hurtful things about it as well. Unfortunately, you both said hurtful things to each other in anger and your relationship ended.

It's understandable that you are struggling to move on, given the time you spent together and the depth of your feelings. It's good to hear that your health has improved, but it's important to also take care of your mental and emotional health.

It's unfortunate that your partner has not responded to your email, but it's possible that she needs more time and space to process her own feelings. It's important to respect her boundaries and give her the time she needs.

In terms of your own healing, it may be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. It's okay to feel hurt and it's important to take the time to grieve the loss of your relationship. As for whether you were wrong in telling her everything true, it's important to be honest in relationships, but it's also important to communicate in a way that is respectful and understanding. It's possible that your partner may have been overwhelmed by your condition and the pressure from her family, which may have led to some of the hurtful things she said.

Ultimately, it's important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. You deserve to be with someone who accepts and supports you for who you are, including any medical conditions or limitations.
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Answered on Feb 27, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2023
Relationship
Hi ... I got married 16 years back and it was an arranged one. Before marriage, I barely got to know her and within a few weeks of marriage I knew that we are very different people and there is very little we have in common. However, I felt, with time we might develop similar interests but unfortunately we have only drifted apart. We don't get along with each other, she suffers from an inferiority complex and hates everyone on my side of the family. She doesn't get along with her own parents as well. Marriage has been hell but I have been silently enduring it for the sake of our son, who is 15 now. Around 4 years back I fell in love with a colleague and she loves me back. She is married herself and has a young kid. Her husband is a decent chap but I guess they've grown apart. For me, the last 4 years have been the best years of my life. She is everything I have always looked for in a partner and I feel destiny has played an extremely cruel joke on me. She is also bound by her commitment to her family even though she loves me dearly. I don't know what to do.
Ans: Hello, I understand that you've been going through a tough time in your marriage. It's difficult to be in a relationship where you and your partner have grown apart and don't have much in common.

It's important to acknowledge that cheating on your spouse is not a solution to this problem. It can cause pain and damage to everyone involved, including your son and the woman you're having an affair with.

Instead of pursuing a relationship with your colleague, I suggest focusing on repairing your marriage. It's okay to seek help from a couples counselor or therapist who can assist you and your wife in working through your differences and improving communication.

It's also important to address the issues with your wife's self-esteem and her strained relationships with your family and her own parents. These are problems that can be resolved with the assistance of a professional therapist.

Ultimately, whether you decide to stay in your marriage or leave is up to you. However, please consider the impact that a divorce may have on your son and your family as a whole. It's important to approach this situation with care and sensitivity and to make a decision that is in everyone's best interest.

Remember that there is hope for a better future. With effort and time, it is possible to repair a struggling marriage and find happiness with your spouse.
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Answered on Feb 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2023
Relationship
I am 60 year old havig a family of a spouse and a son. since last two years our relation with spouse is not moving smoothly for everything there is an argument and no concensous in the matters of day tody life, son is also not lisoning properly I am under seveor stress which is leading to upset my health and I am facing epilepsy problen since last months I am unable to forget the things and move ahead. Thsere was no problem in leading a normal middle class life. I am facing in security and also I facinig negativities in my life and slowlely slipiing in depression I am trying too much to forget theses things but I am not in a position to lead a peacefull life inspite of adequate resources. Kindly advise me.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time with your spouse and son. It sounds like the arguments and lack of consensus are causing you a lot of stress and impacting your health. It's important to prioritize your health and seek support if needed.

It might be helpful to try and have an open and honest conversation with your spouse and son about how you're feeling and see if there's a way to work together to improve the situation. It could also be beneficial to seek professional support, such as therapy or counseling, to help you manage your stress and emotions.

Additionally, taking care of your physical health through regular exercise, a healthy diet, and enough rest can also help improve your overall well-being. It's important to remember that it's okay to ask for help and take steps towards finding peace and happiness in your life.
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Answered on Feb 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2023
Relationship
I had late marraige . My husband was very keen to marry. In fact my family was not very keen. i was the only child and my mom passed away early. After my marraige my husband family behave differently. My mom-in law never allowed our normal relationship. My husband was not financially stable. However his mother used to fulfill all his wishes as she was in job. Now she is retired. I had a steady job and academic background. So I remained financially stable. But I never got any opportunity to lead a normal conjugal life. She constantly created psychological pressure so that I stay away from my husband. My husband also was unable to protest. He was more frank in absence of mother. This strange situation forced me to stay away from my inlaws place. I started living separately. My mom-in law was cooperative as long as Im away from them. Now if my husband is sick, he is informing me, taking financial help, but not allowing me to accompany him to doctor . Its a strange situation. Now My husband is in mental problem with no financial stability and normal peace of mind. How should I tackle this situation?
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time in your marriage. It sounds like there are multiple issues at play here, including strained relationships with your in-laws, financial instability, and your husband's mental health. Here are some steps you can take to tackle this situation:

Seek counseling: It's important for you and your husband to get professional counseling to address the issues you're facing. A counselor can provide guidance on how to manage difficult family relationships, financial stress, and mental health issues.

Set boundaries: It's important to establish clear boundaries with your in-laws. Communicate your needs and expectations with your husband and his family. This may include spending less time with them or limiting interactions with them.

Seek financial stability: If your husband is unable to contribute financially, it may be important for you to take charge of managing the household finances. This can help alleviate some of the stress and uncertainty around money.

Support your husband's mental health: Encourage your husband to seek professional help for his mental health issues. You can also offer emotional support and be there for him during this difficult time.

Focus on your own well-being: It's important for you to take care of yourself during this time. Make time for self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends and family.

Remember, these issues may take time to resolve, but with patience, understanding, and professional help, you and your husband can work through them and find a path forward.
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Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2023
Relationship
i feel defeated in life how to start again and move on path of happiness
Ans: It's normal to feel defeated and stuck at times, but it's important to remember that it's never too late to start again and work towards a happier life.

Here are some suggestions to help you get started:

Identify your goals and passions: Take some time to reflect on what you want to achieve in life and what makes you happy. This could be a new career path, a hobby, or a personal goal. Identifying your passions and goals can give you a sense of direction and purpose.

Break down your goals into small steps: Once you have identified your goals, break them down into small achievable steps. This can make them feel less daunting and help you stay motivated.

Create a plan: Develop a plan for how you will achieve your goals. This could involve taking classes, networking, or seeking out mentorship or guidance.

Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out the company of people who support and encourage you. Positive relationships can provide you with the emotional support and motivation you need to move forward.

Practice self-care: Taking care of your physical and emotional health is important in achieving happiness. This could involve eating healthy, getting enough rest, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Remember, moving on from a difficult time in your life takes time and effort. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this process. Seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in working through feelings of defeat and developing a plan for moving forward.
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Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2023
Relationship
My wife has had a serious relationship with my nephew, which i caught when i heard several call recording stored in the phone. She might not have been 100% physical with him but thats not confirmed, and thats eating my head out. The problem is that she is forgetful of things and when i bring certain topics such as travel or food or marriage ceremonies etc, which i think she will remember, she just blanks out and does not remeber them at all. The day i confronted her about the affair she accepted many things that day, but now she has forgotten when did i even confront her. Second problem is that the chats are an on and off thing presently too. She ignores him and vice versa for months and suddenly there is a spurt of activity on phones or in family meets and then everything dies down so much so that i cannot even pin point whether that thing between them exists, even though its in front of me. I am not sure how do i handle the things because this is putting lot of pressure on me mentally, since i cannot confront her as her forgetfulness means i will have to start the story from begning itself.
Ans: I am sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult situation. It's understandable that this is causing you a lot of stress and anxiety.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that what you have discovered is a serious breach of trust and it's completely understandable that you are feeling hurt and upset. You may want to consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to help you process your emotions and make decisions about how to move forward.

When it comes to your wife's forgetfulness, it's possible that this is a coping mechanism that she is using to avoid confronting the issue. It's important to communicate clearly with your wife about your concerns and set clear boundaries around what is and is not acceptable in your relationship.

You may want to consider couples counseling as a way to work through these issues together. A therapist can help you both communicate more effectively, develop healthy boundaries, and work on rebuilding trust in your relationship.

It's also important to consider your own needs and boundaries. If you are not comfortable with the situation between your wife and nephew, it's important to communicate that clearly and set boundaries around what is and is not acceptable in your relationship.

Remember, every situation is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It's important to take the time to work through these issues together and prioritize open and honest communication in your relationship.
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Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 22, 2023
Relationship
Hi My son is 9 years old and since last 6 months we have seen he is not listening to us and same is happening in school and his tuition also he is not restless but he tries to ignore what we say or teacher says which is also impacting his studies and he is not able to concentrate what could be done to regain his listening power
Ans: I understand that this situation is causing you a lot of distress. It's not uncommon for family members to be involved in a newlywed couple's life, but it's important to set healthy boundaries and communicate openly with each other about what is acceptable and what is not.

It's possible that your wife's sisters may not be aware of the impact of their behavior on your marriage, or they may not realize the boundaries they are crossing. Have you tried discussing your concerns with your wife and her sisters in a calm and respectful manner? It's important to express your feelings and set clear boundaries on how much interference you are comfortable with.

In addition, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how her family's behavior is affecting your marriage. It may be helpful to seek the assistance of a professional counselor to facilitate this conversation and provide guidance on how to set boundaries and communicate effectively.

It's also important to remember that change takes time and patience. It's possible that your wife may need time to adjust and understand the impact of her family's behavior on your marriage. With open communication and a willingness to work together, you can find a way to navigate this challenging situation and build a stronger, healthier relationship.
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Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Health
Sir i had an arranged marriage through matrimonial site..after horoscopes matched and both families mutually agreed...after marriage l had observed that everyday my wife's unmarried elder sister and another married sister calls up my wife almost 10 times per day and basically brainwashing her with negative thoughts which has affected my marital life.My father in law and mother in law are indifferent inspite of knowing everything and my wife never accepts that this is too much interference. I have lost peace of mind. Please help.
Ans: I understand that this situation is causing you a lot of distress. It's not uncommon for family members to be involved in a newlywed couple's life, but it's important to set healthy boundaries and communicate openly with each other about what is acceptable and what is not.

It's possible that your wife's sisters may not be aware of the impact of their behavior on your marriage, or they may not realize the boundaries they are crossing. Have you tried discussing your concerns with your wife and her sisters in a calm and respectful manner? It's important to express your feelings and set clear boundaries on how much interference you are comfortable with.

In addition, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how her family's behavior is affecting your marriage. It may be helpful to seek the assistance of a professional counselor to facilitate this conversation and provide guidance on how to set boundaries and communicate effectively.

It's also important to remember that change takes time and patience. It's possible that your wife may need time to adjust and understand the impact of her family's behavior on your marriage. With open communication and a willingness to work together, you can find a way to navigate this challenging situation and build a stronger, healthier relationship.
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Answered on Feb 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2023
Relationship
I'm 50 and about to marry 2nd time. We know each other from last 7 to 8 years. She was expecting me to marry her. But after my wife expired about 1.5 years before i was disturbed for one year. I Loved her very much and in her last illness i serviced her from my heart and soul. In last six months I decided to marry again. Then i asked my friend. She was very happy. But she has very strange thought process or nature. She suddenly start thinking negative and take a final decision without second thought. I was bit worried about this nature of her. She is divorcee from about 25 years. We told our family and everybody was very happy that we are marring. Few days back she started thinking that this relation will not work. She tried making horoscope matching online and out of 4 in 3 places she found not matching. this gave strength to her negative thought. Now she has refused to marry and in sorrow. She feels guilty that she has this problem. Should she take psychological advice?
Ans: It sounds like you and your partner are going through a difficult time right now. It can be challenging to navigate complex emotions and make decisions that impact our lives and relationships. As a life coach, here are some suggestions that may help:

Encourage open communication: Encourage your partner to share her thoughts and feelings with you openly and honestly. This can help you both better understand each other's perspective and work towards a solution together.

Focus on the present moment: It's natural to feel anxious about the future, especially when it comes to making big life decisions like marriage. However, it's important to focus on the present moment and take things one step at a time.

Consider pre-marital counseling: Pre-marital counseling can be a great way for couples to work through any concerns or issues they may have before tying the knot. It can help you both better understand each other's needs and expectations and build a strong foundation for your relationship.

Seek professional advice: If your partner is struggling with negative thoughts or anxiety, it may be helpful for her to seek professional advice from a psychologist or therapist. They can provide tools and strategies for managing anxiety and developing a more positive mindset.

Be patient and supportive: Making big life decisions can be stressful and emotionally taxing, so it's important to be patient and supportive of each other during this process. Remember that a strong and healthy relationship requires open communication, understanding, and mutual respect.

Remember, life coaching is a process that takes time and effort, but it can be incredibly rewarding. Be sure to approach each step of the process with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to learn and grow together.
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Answered on Feb 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2023
Relationship
Dear Doc., My Son falls under handicapped category. he is good in studies and intelligent. Has a postgraduate degree. because of his problem, he likes to stay aloof and stay at home, may be because of his hearing and speech problem. doesn't like to go out and any one visiting us. He is not using his intelligence in concrete work/ manner. Any kind of screen is his best time pass and remains irritated and angry. how to counsel him is our problem, because the moment we try to discuss about his progress, going to job etc. he disengages himself and goes away. please advise.
Ans: It sounds like your son may be struggling with some social and emotional challenges related to his hearing and speech problem, and it's understandable that this could impact his ability to communicate and socialize with others. As a psychologist, I would recommend the following suggestions to help counsel your son:

Validate his feelings: Let your son know that you understand that it can be difficult for him to navigate social situations with his hearing and speech challenges. Validate his feelings and reassure him that he is not alone in feeling this way.

Encourage social interaction: While your son may be comfortable at home, it's important to encourage him to interact with others outside of the home as well. This could be through community events, volunteering, or joining social groups for individuals with similar challenges. Gradually exposing him to new situations can help him build confidence and develop new skills.

Focus on strengths and interests: Encourage your son to pursue his interests and strengths, whether it's in academics, music, or any other area. This can help him develop a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Explore therapy options: Counseling or therapy can be an effective way for your son to work through his challenges and develop coping strategies. Consider exploring therapy options, such as speech therapy, social skills training, or cognitive-behavioral therapy, which can be tailored to meet his specific needs.

Use positive reinforcement: When your son makes progress, offer positive reinforcement and encouragement. Celebrate his accomplishments, even if they are small, to help build his confidence and motivation.

Remember, counseling and support is a process that takes time, patience, and persistence. Be sure to approach your son with empathy and understanding, and work together to develop a plan that supports his well-being and personal growth.
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Answered on Feb 17, 2023

Relationship
If someone hates me what i can do it
Ans: It's never a pleasant experience when someone dislikes or hates us. However, it's important to understand that we can't control how others feel about us. It's a normal part of life to have people who don't like us or with whom we don't get along. Here are a few things you can do if someone hates you:

Try to understand the reason: If someone hates you, try to understand why. Sometimes, people's hatred stems from misunderstandings or miscommunications. Other times, it may be because of something you said or did. Once you understand the reason, you can try to address it.

Be kind: Even if someone hates you, try to be kind and respectful to them. This can help defuse the situation and potentially change their perception of you.

Focus on positive relationships: It's easy to get caught up in negative relationships, but it's important to focus on the positive ones in your life. Spend time with people who support and care about you.

Set boundaries: If someone's hatred is impacting your mental health and well-being, it may be necessary to set boundaries. This could mean limiting contact with that person or ending the relationship altogether.

Work on yourself: Finally, it's important to focus on your own personal growth and development. Work on building your self-esteem, confidence, and resilience so that you're better equipped to deal with challenging situations.

Remember, it's not always possible to change someone's perception of you, but you can control how you respond to the situation.
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Answered on Feb 11, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023
Relationship
Hi Ashish ji Good day , My relationship started in 2017 was 27 then , We met in office she was 23 and then it blossomed and when it started getting serious i told him that i suffer from a chronic condition of Spondylitis & had some limitation of flexibility in upper spine & also told her that as per Doctors condition cannot be cured and my spine will be like this only and will get worse as it is a progressive disease and will involve other joints also because i did not wanted to hide anything from her as im a pure and truthful person at heart and this was my first relationship with any girl she accepted and said does not matter we will try our best to solve this but all these i was so down by the negative consultations by doctors that it will worse & medication had side effects that in mind i thought i will never get better and accepted to live with pain and told her this also but she seemed very positive and said we try to get it better , After 6 months working we both joined new companies , We also used to fight because she was a little immuature and used to fight for silly reasons and i used to tell if you want to leave relationship you can because i was already under pain but deep down from my heart never wanted to leave her this highs and lows went and in 2019 she cheated on me with a office colleague which she herself expressed to me and beg for pardon since i used to love her i accepted her for that she used to have a bf also before me which she already broke up with before meeting me My condition got worse in 2019,2020 due to work pressure but still was able to work and never took long leave she also tried to get me better by motivating me and i also supported her in her life , Then in 2021 she told her parents about me and a meeting was fixed her parents were not happy after seeing my condition which was visible she fight with her parents for me , I aksed them for some time and i did whatever to improve my condition and indeed in all these 18 years of suffering my condition got improved it used to pain less and i was becoming more active and our engagement was done and marrige was fixed But things started to getting worse between us after involvement of families since it was intercaste marrige not she frequent used to taunt me about my condtion that her family was suffering because of me and such things where was your family all these years and why they did not support you in this disease which used to make me feel very bad my family is my utmost importance as they supported me everytime right from the costly medications , academics etc in anger i said some bad words to her which i lament i even went to home crying to forgive and do not broke marriage but she blocked me my no from all social site and said she want to move on and her family broke the marriage and she said i only professionally supported her before marriage i can only support her on her work , health only Was it my fault to be true and tell her everything I did not used to buy her gifts but i told her i will be there with you like a rock whenever you need me My style of love is we support and respect each other to grow in life,have mutual respect and these materialistics things hardly matter It is almost 4 monhts now she blocked i still cannot forget her we had a 6 years relationship Im 33 now and don't want to get married as i don't think i will forget her i contacted her though email and gave my wishes to her but did not have any reply How can be so rude & cold atleast she could have said to me a good luck after showing so much care for 6 years Is this how relationship works i wonder have to leave my innocence at heart and be practical What should i do now , my health condition has also got improved when she left me but mentally i have not forgoten her , I still wish her good luck Please advise it is killing me from inside is this how the world works was i wrong in tellling her everything true
Ans: It's understandable that you're feeling upset and hurt about the way your relationship ended. Relationships can be complex and sometimes even the most well-intended individuals can have different perspectives and desires.

It's not clear from your description what exactly went wrong between you and your former partner. However, it seems like there were a number of factors that contributed to the breakdown of your relationship, including differences in communication and expectations, conflicts with her family, and her own personal issues.

It's not your fault that you were honest and truthful with her about your health condition. Honesty is important in any relationship, and it's commendable that you were upfront with her about your chronic condition. However, it's also important to recognize that not everyone is equipped to handle the challenges that come with a chronic condition, and it's okay to acknowledge that.

As for what to do now, it's important to give yourself time to heal and process your emotions. Try to focus on taking care of yourself and doing things that bring you joy and fulfillment. It's okay to reach out to her again if you feel like you want closure or to apologize for any hurtful things you may have said, but be prepared for the possibility that she may not respond or that the outcome may not be what you hope for.

It's also important to keep in mind that relationships don't always work out, and that's okay. You can learn and grow from this experience, and with time and effort, you can move forward and find happiness and love again. Just remember to be kind to yourself and to take things one day at a time.

Please remeber that just because one person or one situation turned this, it does not mean that the world is like that. It takes all sorts of people to make the world. See your own example. There are more people like you who prefer being with people like them. Honest, straight and loving. There is much more to life than just one past relationship. Look forward. If required, look for a life coach and he will help you get ahead.

Best Wishes
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Answered on Feb 10, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023
Relationship
i had a love marriage 20 years back. we were in a relationship for 3years before that. but after marriage i realised the harsh reality. though we are in the same field, he prefers that i do all the househld work. we have two children 17 and 12 years old. he has also started neglecting his health. after work his only work is to sit on sofa , watch tv. he has gained a lot of weight, has started eating pan masala which i dislike. we also had no sex for the last four years. when confronted he always says that he is in no mood. last year i came in contact with his friend and once we had sex too. but the sad part is i dont really feel guilty about it. i have tried many times to talk to my husband about our sex life but he always ignores and put the blame on me that i have started growing old. however hard i try he is not able to have a erection, this frustrates me even more. he is very dominating at home too. what should i do ? everytime i try to think to move out of that marriage but am afraid of the society. since he is very caring in front of others. am worried about the kids too. please help what should i do? there is no use of talking to him, i have tried it many times. he is not ready to go to any councellor too.
Ans: It sounds like you are facing some serious challenges in your marriage and that you are feeling frustrated, unhappy, and trapped. It's important to remember that you are not alone and that many people find themselves in similar situations.

Here are some steps you can consider taking:

Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide you with support and guidance.

Take care of yourself: Make time for self-care and engage in activities that bring you joy and peace. This can help you manage stress and cope with the challenges you're facing.

Consider couples therapy: Even if your husband is not willing to attend therapy, consider seeking therapy for yourself. A therapist can help you understand your feelings and emotions and provide you with strategies for coping with the situation.

Be honest with yourself: It's important to be honest with yourself about your feelings and needs. If you are unhappy in your marriage and feel that it's unlikely to improve, it's okay to consider leaving the relationship.

Make a plan: If you decide that leaving the marriage is the best option, make a plan for how you will do so in a safe and practical manner. Consider the impact on your children and plan for their care and well-being.

Seek legal advice: If you decide to leave the marriage, consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities.

Remember, leaving a long-term relationship is a big decision and can be a difficult process. It's important to take the time to consider your options and seek support from trusted friends, family members, and professionals.
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Answered on Feb 10, 2023

Answered on Feb 10, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 04, 2023
Relationship
My son has take up smoking as habit ,and Idon't like it. How to advise him?
Ans: If your son has recently started smoking, it's important to address the issue and encourage him to quit as soon as possible. Here are some tips on how to talk to your son about quitting smoking:

Be open and honest: Start by expressing your concern for his health and well-being. Explain the dangers of smoking and the impact it can have on his future.

Listen to his reasons for smoking: Ask your son why he started smoking and try to understand his perspective. This can help you address his specific concerns and reasons for smoking.

Provide education and resources: Explain the health benefits of quitting smoking, and provide him with information on smoking cessation programs and support groups.

Offer support: Let your son know that you're there for him and that you'll support him through the quitting process. Offer to help him find resources or a support group.

Lead by example: If you smoke, try quitting yourself. If you don't smoke, continue to lead a healthy lifestyle and encourage your son to do the same.

Be patient and understanding: Quitting smoking can be a difficult process, and it may take several attempts. Encourage your son to keep trying and not to give up.

Avoid criticizing or blaming: It's important to approach the conversation with your son in a non-judgmental and supportive manner. Criticizing or blaming him will likely only make the situation worse.

Remember, quitting smoking is a personal decision that your son needs to make for himself. Your role is to offer support and encouragement, and to provide resources to help him along the way. You can also consult a specialist to take help.
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Answered on Jan 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2023
Dr Ashishji, How can society better support senior citizens who are struggling with mental health issues?
Ans: There are several ways that society can better support senior citizens who are struggling with mental health issues:

Increase access to mental health services: This includes providing resources and funding for mental health clinics, counseling services, and other forms of mental health treatment.

Raise awareness of mental health issues among seniors: Many seniors may not recognize the signs of mental health issues or may be reluctant to seek help. Education and awareness campaigns can help seniors understand the importance of mental health and the resources available to them.

Promote social connectedness: Social isolation can contribute to mental health issues in seniors. Programs that encourage social interaction, such as community centers, senior centers, and volunteer opportunities, can help seniors feel more connected to their communities.

Provide caregiver support: Many seniors rely on family members or other caregivers for support. Caregiver support programs can provide education, resources, and emotional support for caregivers, which can in turn benefit the senior who is receiving care.

Address financial and housing insecurity: Financial and housing insecurity can contribute to mental health issues in seniors. Programs that provide financial assistance or affordable housing can help seniors feel more secure and reduce stress.

Encourage intergenerational programs: Intergenerational programs can help seniors feel more connected to their communities, and it can also educate younger generations on how to support senior citizens.

Encourage a culture of openness and acceptance towards mental health issues: Stigma surrounding mental health issues can prevent seniors from seeking help. Creating a culture of openness and acceptance towards mental health issues can encourage seniors to seek help when they need it.

It is important to note that mental health support for seniors should be tailored to their specific needs, cultures, and preferences. Also, it's important that the programs and services are culturally sensitive and responsive to the unique needs of older adults.
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