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Love Guru

Love Guru

Relationships Expert 

155 Answers | 14 Followers

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more

Answered on Jun 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2023
Relationship
I am 49 years male, married and having two kids aged 16 years and 13 years. My relations with my spouse are not smooth since many years and we don't have physical intimacy and don't have sex with more than five-six years. I am attracted towards a girl aged about 30 plus years working in my office. We used to go around after office hours, had some coffee and chat and then I dropped her at her residence. I have expressed my love to her and she has responded that she will be my friend forever and don't want to disturb and ruin my family. I was okay with this as I was mentally happy to have her as my friend. But from few days, she has started ignoring me and giving late replies to my messages. I asked her to meet after office hours but she refused on one pretext or other. For few days, we don't have any communications. I was very disturbed and depressed about her behaviour. I even asked the reasons why she has changed, but she replied that she has not... Now, we are exchanging only rare few official messages...... I am so much shocked that I am not even finding courage to ask her to meet.... I fear I might lost her......Kindly advise me
Ans: Look, at some point this girl is going to meet another man and start dating or get married. This change in her behaviour may be indicative of the fact that she has already met someone. And she is aware of your feelings for her, so is probably keeping her distance. My advice is to focus on your own marriage and family, please visit a counsellor and try getting your relationship with your wife back on track. This may be a blessing in disguise for you.
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Answered on Jun 10, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2023

Answered on Jun 10, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - May 22, 2023
Relationship
I am a 76 year old young man! And my wife is a just 71 year young girl!! We love each othe very fondly. We remember our marital encounters and enjoy talking about them along with other matters. The sexual drive in me hasn't disappeared till now, but has reduced as per my age(I feel so). We both still have sex once in a week and both of us enjoy the occassion. I am pretty healthy with some high BP which is perfectly under control with a single tablet in a day. No sugar. I do 7-8 km morning and evening walk and can go up five floors by stairs without any strain on my system. I am a pure vegitarian. Now-a-days my wife has started getting a dout whether we should engage in sex at this age. I showed her the medical advices from some doctors that sex at any age is good for health and helps in relaxing the tensions. Before my last session I took one tablet of Sildenafil Citrate tablet 50mg and had a better erection and we both enjoyed a lot. Now my question is whether I can take a tablet of 50 mg before every session (once a week) and if so for how long is safe? Can I try a 100mg tablet? I confess that even though without the tablet we were enjoying, but with the tablet the erection is better and that makes us both happy. Please advise whether I can try with a 100 mg tablet and if so upto what age can I take this medicine without any side effects? Thanks a lot in antecepation of your reply.
Ans: Sir, I am not a medical professional. I am glad to hear that your wife and you have such a satisfying sex life at this age, but pertaining to the tablets, please consult your GP!
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Answered on May 21, 2023

Relationship
Hi Luv Guru, I am 45 yrs old and married. My wife is a lovey companion and we have good relationship with our usual fights and disagreement. We also enjoy each other during our physical relationship. My wife has a friend who unfortunately lost her husband a year ago. She is my wife's friend in her morning and evening walks, common kittys etc. She has hardly come to our house. I was not knowing his husband also never met even. But in a freak accident he lost his life. My wife being a emotional person was very upset and cried a lot. She often talks about her friend and her life that how she is doing and becoming normal. One night during our close moment, I told my wife that you care a lot for your friend, why donot you care for her physical needs also. She is young and may be in need of physical relationship with some one. Why do not you help her by introducing me to her? She asked how come this thing came to my mind? I told just casually, she told me that I am dreaming. After that we have not discussed on this subject. Our relationship is normal. Please guide me whether I suggested some thing wrong?
Ans: Are you nuts? Your wife empathises with her friend who’s just been widowed and you think that offering to have extramarital sex with her is not unusual? What are you, some car that she’s going to rent out to her BFF?! If that widow needs support, give it to her without trying to exploit her situation by trying to get into bed with her, that too after asking for your wife’s blessing! There are a million men out there and with God’s grace hopefully she’ll meet someone else, but you my friend, do not need to figure in that equation. You’re lucky your wife didn’t kick you out!
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Answered on Apr 20, 2023

Relationship
Hi, I've gotten into relationship an year ago, for the first eight months it was long distance, couple months ago she had the need to do intership and needed to move to the place im working at, it was hard to find pg so we disided to be in live in together, i have two more guy friends who live next door, we all cook and eat together and all, the problem arose when we started to live together and we are constantly fighting, about tiny things , some of it are my mistakes and some are hers, we are finding hard to go along, i really want this relationship to work ,y friends are also telling me we are not going in right direction, sometimes i feel it too, yesterday after fight she said she regrets being in relationship and she is going back(she didn't) , need some solution to get the things under control, i love her with all my might and want her in my life.
Ans: It’s never easy to adjust to living together, that’s the hardest part of a relationship. And if you’re having so much trouble so early on, you don’t sound very compatible to me. If you gave me examples of what you fight about, I may be better placed to help you. But here’s the golden rule if you both want to get along under the same roof: housework is NOT the woman’s responsibility. She’s working, you’re working. It’s the same at home. She lives there, so do you. Pick up after yourselves and halve the duties for everything. No clothes and personal items lying around. Everything in its place. If one cooks, the other does the dishes. Own up to your mistakes, both of you, and make a real effort to end bad habits on both sides.
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Answered on Apr 04, 2023

Relationship
Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times and mam Highlighting this point —-mam we had passionate romance twice but not that intensely and now I feel regret of doing so if he leaves me ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Seetha, he proposed to you. Then you got physical with him, then he conveniently said you’re better off as friends and blocked you! And then came up with this one year test nonsense! He’s taking you for a ride, and you’re falling for it; don’t be so stupid. I understand that you’re young, but you haven’t done anything wrong and there is no need to feel guilty about anything that has happened. What is important, however, is that you understand this boy is not quite as wonderful as you think he is! He’s taken advantage of you and now he’s trying to worm his way out of it. Cut him off completely, he’s no good. Focus on your studies and if you meet someone else, no harm in exploring a relationship. But this worm doesn’t deserve a minute of your time or attention.
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Answered on Apr 04, 2023

Relationship
Hi sir, i am 42 divorced male with no child from previous marriage. Now i m getting a girl with three types 1) divorced girl which my parents dont wants (as thy want unmarried girl) 2) unmarried girl but quite aged 3) unmarried girl with decent age but poor family background n very less educated. I m quite confused with whom i should marry as i m quite scare after my breakoff from 1st marriage which was love marriage and not able to take decision on this. I m well educated smart and earning quite decent. My parents wants girl should be unmarried n can manage house n also take care of them n they dont want working girl too but she should be beautiful educated n good family background. Because of this my marriage is getting delayed n also not getting any match. Kindly suggest what should i do how much which type of girl i should i prefer..i m clueless in this n not able to take decision.
Ans: Tell me something, do you want a wife or a glorified live-in maid for your parents? I cannot believe that in this day and age so-called educated men like you are asking questions like this! “My parents want this, my parents want that”… who the hell is getting married, you or them? You’re a divorcee yourself, but a divorced woman is not good enough for you? A working girl will be frowned upon because THEY want a housewife? If this is the kind of backward-thinking family you come from, it’s hardly surprising your first marriage failed! Man up, go for someone who YOU are interested in, and if you have any common sense, stay separately from your parents after marriage!
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Answered on Mar 13, 2023

Relationship
I am 45 and my wife 40. We are married since 10 years and have a child. We are middle class. I really care my wife and love her. I believe in women empowerment and want my wife to be good in computer knowledge, spoken english and be a smart lady . Smart not in terms of look but from mind. I am an event manager. I want my wife to take take care of house hold responsibilities and help me at work to certain extent in balanced manner. But she is unable to take care of any of my wishes, desires, ambitions. I have tried to talk several several time but every time it becomes one sided. If i speak 100 then she doesn't speak even 1. I want to keep her happy. I want to give her an identity. But i fail in all because she doesn't understand me. This nature of her is just crushing all my ambitions, desires and wishes. By nature she seems to be very simple but as we know too much of anything is bad. Several times i have told her to talk and let me know her point of view, but she doesn't. She is not mature enough to handle those responsibilities that come in our life at different times. FEEL JUST HELPLESS HOW TO TUNE MY HOUSE AND HOUSE HOLD AFFAIRS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF WIFE. PLEASE GUIDE.
Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.
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