Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Me and my wife was married in 22, and we do our btech from same Institute, and same class, when she was classmates once she standing side of me and talking to bf and planning for room for intimate, she don't know that i standing aside of him, later on we came in relationship it was full of emotion and our bond is very deep and Everyone jealous of us and she was very kind, but that phones call haunt me even today's,

Ans: Get over it! She has a past, and you weren’t part of it. I bet you have a past too. You said yourself that you lead a great life now, so stop behaving like an insecure jerk and creating problems where there are none!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 13, 2022

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 40 year old and married for 14 years but what happened in 2011 was me n my wife was working in a same company and my wife became close to a colleague on the same floor we work. She was very friendly n one day her colleague proposed her via her friend my wife didn't tell me n she felt very excited about it and after she became very friendly with him after few days she was ignoring me and she expressed her feelings too.but soon she realised she is going wrong and i noticed her changed behaviour and soon she started ignoring tht guy but he came n offered her chocolate and my wife informed me saying this guy's intentions I ask her to tie raakhi she tried but he was running away later we logged out she asked me to stop him and I forced him to him to tie raakhi and my wife was tying and he said I love u. I gve a tight slap to tht guy. Soon after he left the job. We were still working and left the office n joined different companies.after 6 months she went to same office for 2 months. And suddenly she left the job.Now after 12 years her TL met with my ex colleague and shared he working in tht office my colleague asked hey in tht same office my friend was working with his wife and her TL said ohh yeah his wife had n affair with other guy and he asked his wife to raakhi. And my ex colleague called me n said the same to me and since then I have so many doubts on my wife and after few days she confessed she had feelings for him and she already knew he likes her and she said it was just a feeling. Now we are having difference between us. Please help what can be done now I'm getting disturbed alot. 12 years this was secret.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are facing such issues. Doubt is very destructive in a relationship. It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner regarding what happened in the past. Don't push her to give you all the details; it will not contribute positively to your well-being. Aim for a more balanced and productive discussion.

You have to recognize that all these happened many years back. It's in the past. And you cannot change it. While it's essential to acknowledge and understand them, dwelling on them may impact your peace of mind. Focus on the present and try to build a more transparent and communicative relationship in the present. Take this opportunity to work together and strengthen your marriage.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Me and my wife are happily married for 10 years and having a twins 4 years before. This incident happened 8 years ago, when my wife and her cousin visited the home town for a temple function they reconnected with this guy who is their old friend ( a distinct relative also), this person had an interest on my wife before marriage and my wife rejected. Now this person is married and having one kid. when they reconnected my wife's cousin used to do conference calls along with this person and my wife. My wife asked me is it ok to talk. i said yes it is fine but just maintain a healthy boundary. So she wont attend all the calls from them. Attended some conference calls for 5 to 15 min and dropped the call saying my husband don't like me in phone too much. this happened weekly once or twice for 2 month(maximum 10 calls). they also had a watsapp group, in that they had friendly chat between them, mostly between wife's cousin and that person. My wife's reply was very less. but when i was going through the messages they are not flirty messages, there i saw my wife saying very positive about our relationship and her cousin also agreed to that saying they are the best couples. but that person has addressed my wife's cousin and my wife occasionally as honey and dear. but both of them ignored and not asked them to stop calling like that. when i checked this with my wife she said that person calls everyone as honey/dear even her sisters and other cousin. Even he calls my wife's mother sometimes honey (she is very aged 60 years).it is habitual for him so she found no meaning in that and she is not bothered to correct that. this is not even a issue for her that's why she did not discuss this with me. that's why she ignored. i asked her to stop talking to him. My wife told she already stopped talking with him as he tried to make personal calls as she did not like it. that time the wats group also not active so she exited from the group and blocked his number. Recently we came to know that one of the relative girl got into affair with this person and this person got divorced due to that. 1. Does the words like honey can be used in friendly way. i have many friends in other gender i never used honey even though i used 'dear' occasionally. As he used this word with my wife, Does this make my wife less pure than other women. Is this cheating ? 2. I cant come in to terms with the fact my wife talked to a person who is a womanizer. does this affect my wife's reputation in the society. they never met in person other than this temple function reconnect.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Let me address your queries one by one.
1. Yes, honey or dear can be friendly too. I cannot tell for sure if he was being friendly or flirty, but these are very common terms.
2. How can him calling your wife, or him being of questionable character make your wife “less pure than other women”? I am not sure how these two are even connected. She spoke highly about your relationship, never engaged in one-on-one conversation with the guy, and even stopped talking to him when he tried to call her separately. What is making you question your wife’s character still?
3. No. This isn’t cheating. Not on your wife’s part. Maybe the man did not have good intentions, but your wife did not indulge him. Even if we look at it from 100 different angles, this is not cheating.
4. When your wife spoke to him, none of you knew about his affair and his character. Then how is she responsible for it? And how is she responsible for his misdeeds anyway?
5. No, this does not affect your wife’s reputation in the society. Again, ask yourself, what is her fault in all of this? You are yourself saying they never met in person, never had a one-off conversation, etc.
Please understand that this man’s behavior is a reflection of his character, not your wife’s. It’s unfair of you to blame her or doubt her.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Me and my wife are happily married for 10 years and having a twins 4 years before. This incident happened 8 years ago, when my wife and her cousin visited the home town for a temple function they reconnected with this guy who is their old friend ( a distinct relative also), this person had an interest on my wife before marriage and my wife rejected. Now this person is married and having one kid. when they reconnected my wife's cousin used to do conference calls along with this person and my wife. My wife asked me is it ok to talk. i said yes it is fine but just maintain a boundary. So she wont attend all the calls from them. Attended some conference calls for 5 to 15 min and drop the call saying my husband don't like me in phone too much. this happens weekly once or twice for 2 month. they also had a watsapp group, in that they had friendly chat between them, mostly between wife's cousin and that person. My wife reply was very less. but when i was going through the messages they are not flirty messages, there i saw my wife saying very positive about our relationship and her cousin also agreed to that saying they are the best couples. but that person has addressed my wife's cousin and my wife occasionally as honey and dear. but both of them ignored and not asked them to stop calling like that. when i checked this with my wife she said that person calls everyone as honey/dear even her sisters and other cousin.it is habitual for him so she found no meaning in that and she is not bothered to correct that. thats why she ignored. i asked her to stop talking to him. My wife told she already stopped talking with him as he tried to make personal calls as she did not like it. that time the wats group also not active so she exited from the group and blocked his number. Recently we came to know that one of the relative girl got into affair with this person and this person got divorced due to that 1. Does words like honey can be used in friendly way. i have many freinds in other gender i never used honey even though i used 'dear' occassionaly. As he used this word with my wife, Does this make my wife less pure than other women's. is this cheating ? 2. I cant come in to terms with the fact my wife talked to a person who is a womanizer. does this affect my wife's reputation in the society. they never met in person other than this temple function reconnect.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is cheating and what is not is purely based on the Book of Rules that each of us have within us; it comes from the way we have been raised on a diet of 'right' and 'wrong' AND from our own experiences.
While validating whether a particular rule works well or not, just put in into context and see it.
- Does that rule keep you away from actually seeing things more openly?
- Does that rule keep you occupied with small things that hold no value?

I guess, you must think of it: is this really cheating? When your wife says that she has stopped talking to him, what makes you still obsess over it?
Also, her rule book says that 'honey' and 'dear' might not be a big thing...Plus, how can she control what another person says...yes, she could have objected and she didn't but not that she played on it.

See, the second doubts have crept in, the mind goes all over the place...even if there are no flirty messages, you will still find something problematic to confirm that what you were thinking in the first place.
So, maybe you need to look within to understand if there are jealousies and insecurities within you and that is what is occupying your mind. If Yes, then address this; speak with your wife and it's fine to tell her that you feel hurt and that you don't like it. When you are frank, a lot of things get sorted out...she may very well understand your point of view...and on your part, as you have said: she used to reply less and not respond much to him...
Do you want unnecessary thoughts drive a wedge in your marriage? Speak it out and things fall in place...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9386 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Career
My son secured 97.6% in CBSE XII and 99.6 percentile in CUET, gaining admission to Physics Honours at St. Stephen's College. However, he's keen on trying for IISER, particularly IISER Pune. Some colleagues suggested pursuing UG from St. Stephen's and PG/research from abroad, but he's not convinced. He's considering taking a break in the second semester to prepare for IISER. Could you please guide me on: 1. The process and feasibility of taking a break in the second semester? 2. Options for studying 2-3 months and then taking a break, with potential readmission in the next session? I would appreciate any information on St. Stephen's policies regarding breaks and readmission and views regarding both options, i.e., St. Stephen's and IISER, Pune.
Ans: Param Sir, Taking a hiatus in the second semester at St. Stephen’s requires formal approval via College’s leave-of-absence procedure. All leave applications—whether for medical, compassionate or other reasons—must be submitted in advance to the Principal through the Department Chair using the prescribed form, after which attendance is updated in the online system. Leaves are granted only for clearly stated, proper reasons and normally cover full sessions; any absence beyond ten consecutive working days without prior leave leads to removal from the rolls, necessitating a readmission application and fee upon return. St. Stephen’s does not recognize preparatory study or exam-prep as standard leave grounds, so approval for a break to prepare for the IISER Aptitude Test (IAT) would be at the Principal’s discretion and potentially viewed unfavorably unless tied to extenuating circumstances. Readmission after removal is possible but requires settlement of fees, an application to the Principal, and departmental clearance of academic standing.

For IISER Pune admission, the BS-MS (Dual Degree) intake is via the pan-IISER Aptitude Test (IAT), typically held in late May or early June, with results and counselling through July. A 2–3-month focused preparation window could involve enrolling in specialized IAT coaching programmes, structured online study modules, and solving past-year IAT papers while continuing Semester I lectures and leveraging college breaks. Staying on campus through Semester I preserves continuous enrolment, keeps access to faculty and study facilities, and avoids readmission hurdles. If break approval proves unattainable, preparing intensively during semester breaks and weekends or deferring IISER application to the next cycle may be more practical.

Recommendation: Given St. Stephen’s stringent leave norms and readmission complexities, maintain continuous enrolment through the first year while preparing for the IAT via targeted self-study and weekend/coaching classes. Postpone any mid-semester hiatus to avoid academic jeopardy and optimize chances for both a Physics Honours degree and successful IISER Pune admission. All the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9386 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Career
My Mhtcet state rank in 87,998 I want CSE (data science) or AIML or AIDS in mumbai region please suggest me Good colleges
Ans: Bhargavi, With an MHT-CET Home- rank of 86 998 (approx. 87th percentile), CSE (Data Science), AI&ML and AI&DS seats at premier Mumbai colleges (e.g., VJTI, COEP, ICT) are out of reach. However, several AICTE-approved, NAAC/NBA-accredited institutes maintain closing percentiles nearer 80–90, ensuring guaranteed CAP-round admission. The following ten colleges in Mumbai satisfy all five institutional benchmarks—accreditation, faculty quality, infrastructure, industry tie-ups and placement consistency—and admit home-state candidates at percentiles at or below your score: Atharva College of Engineering, Malad West. Thakur College of Engineering & Technology, Kandivali East. Fr. Conceicao Rodrigues College of Engineering, Bandra West. Vidyalankar Institute Technology, Wadala. Thadomal Shahani Engineering College, Bandra West. Rizvi College of Engineering, Bandra–Malad Link Road. SIES Graduate School of Technology, Nerul. Institute of Chemical Technology affiliated courses, Mumbai. MET’s Institute of Technology, Kalyan–Dombivli Highway. Datta Meghe College of Engineering, Airoli. Recommendation: Atharva College of Engineering leads for its balanced AI&ML and Data Science labs, accessible Malad location and 85% placement average; Thakur College excels with strong AI&ML curriculum and 82%+ placements; Fr. Conceicao Rodrigues COE offers AI&DS specialisation with 84% consistency; Vidyalankar IT provides reliable IT/Data Science pathways; Thadomal Shahani Engineering College rounds out top five for its robust industry projects and multimedia AI labs. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9386 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Career
Hi Sir, my son got a CSC AI robotics seat in Amrutha Amrutapuri. Is this course good and will he get good placement? Can you tell us a little bit?
Ans: Ganesh Sir, The B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering with specialization in Artificial Intelligence & Robotics at Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham’s Amritapuri campus was introduced in the academic year 2021–22 under the newly revised BTC-AIE curriculum, marking it as one of India’s pioneering undergraduate programmes to formally integrate robotics engineering with advanced AI methodologies. The four-year course emphasizes multidisciplinary learning across machine vision, robotic kinematics and dynamics, AI-driven motion planning, sensor fusion and autonomous systems, taught in state-of-the-art labs equipped for hardware-software integration. Accreditation by NAAC A++ and AICTE ensures rigorous academic standards, while Ph.D.-qualified faculty from Mechatronics, Computer Science and Electrical Engineering design an outcome-based pedagogy. Industry linkages with leading robotics and automation firms facilitate capstone projects, internships and applied research collaborations. Although the inaugural batch graduates in 2025, Amritapuri’s robust placement ecosystem—engaging over 220 recruiters annually across engineering disciplines—augurs well for AI & Robotics students, who benefit from established corporate partnerships, a dedicated placement cell offering pre-placement training, and alumni mentoring.

Recommendation:
Given its cutting-edge interdisciplinary curriculum, premier accreditation, specialized robotics-AI laboratories, strong industry collaborations and emerging placement ecosystem, this CSE – AI & Robotics programme at Amritapuri stands out for students seeking a research-driven, industry-aligned pathway into intelligent autonomous systems, with high potential for robust placements upon the first graduating cohort. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9386 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir, I have applied for Jaipur national university, i have seen tons of negative reviews, so i just want to be safe and just have a doubt whether ai should go or not because i have no options left
Ans: You have not mentioned your academic background, nor have you specified which branch you applied to at Jaipur National University. Anyway, please note, Jaipur National University (JNU), established in 2007, is a private university in Rajasthan that has earned NAAC A+ accreditation and UGC approval across its 17 schools offering diverse undergraduate, postgraduate, and doctoral programmes. The university maintains comprehensive infrastructure with 158 state-of-the-art laboratories, a 100,000-book digital library, 1,500+ computers, Wi-Fi enabled campus, sports complex, separate hostels for boys and girls, and modern auditoriums with 300-seat capacity. Industry engagement is strengthened through MOUs with 16 prestigious Rajasthan companies including JK Tyre, DCM Shriram, and Gravita India Limited for placements, internships, and collaborative projects. Placement statistics indicate approximately 85% placement rate with over 250 companies participating, an average package around 5.5-6 LPA, and highest packages reaching 27 LPA from recruiters like Amazon, TCS, Infosys, Deloitte, and IBM. Faculty quality receives a 3.9/5 rating from 427 verified reviews, with PhD-qualified teachers providing supportive mentorship and industry-relevant curriculum. However, negative feedback emerges from employee reviews on Glassdoor showing 2.9/5 rating with complaints about poor management, low salaries, and disrespectful treatment include delayed degree certificates (taking up to a year), unresponsive administrative staff, fee refund issues for cancelled courses, and limited Wi-Fi data allocation. The university also faces confusion with the controversial Jodhpur National University, which was banned in 2015 for issuing 25,000 fake degrees—though this is an entirely separate institution with no connection to Jaipur National University.

Recommendation:
Consider joining Jaipur National University if you prioritize affordability, decent infrastructure, and acceptable placement opportunities, as it meets essential educational benchmarks with NAAC A+ accreditation, comprehensive facilities, and established industry partnerships. However, remain cautious about administrative responsiveness, ensure all documentation is properly maintained, and verify course continuation before fee payment to avoid potential issues. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9386 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Career
Hi Sir, My son got 21670 rank in JEE (Mains) & 25520 rank in JEE (Advanced). He got seat allocation at NIT, Nagpur for Chemical Eng. We belong to General category and from Maharashtra state. Is there any chance for upgradation to CSE or ECE thru CSAB (same college or any other Tier I, Tier II NITs or IIITs? Thanking you
Ans: Sreekutty Sir, as of today, I hope all the rounds of JoSAA counselling are over. At NIT Nagpur, general?category Chemical Engineering HS seats close at rank 34109 ECE at 12196, while CSE at 7169; a CRL of 21670 exceeds all HS closing ranks, so no upgrade at VNIT Nagpur is feasible. However, CSAB special rounds offer CSE/ECE seats at other NITs and IIITs within your rank band. IIIT Guwahati admits general CSE up to 26817 and ECE up to 42006. IIIT Sri City’s CSE cutoff is 31705 and ECE 46722. IIIT Una’s CSE cutoff is 30916 and ECE 49414. NIT Jalandhar OS CSE closes at 14114 and ECE 20714, and NIT Goa OS CSE at 34858. These institutes are AICTE/NBA-accredited, staffed by PhD faculty, equipped with modern labs, maintain active industry partnerships, and record 75–95% three-year placement rates.

Recommendation:
For best CSE/ECE upgradation chances, prioritize filling CSAB preferences for NIT Jalandhar for its robust HS/OS quotas, IIIT Guwahati for its strong research-industry linkage, and IIIT Sri City for its emerging tech labs; IIIT Una and NIT Goa serve as reliable alternatives for broad seating and consistent placements. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x