Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Me and my wife was married in 22, and we do our btech from same Institute, and same class, when she was classmates once she standing side of me and talking to bf and planning for room for intimate, she don't know that i standing aside of him, later on we came in relationship it was full of emotion and our bond is very deep and Everyone jealous of us and she was very kind, but that phones call haunt me even today's,

Ans: Get over it! She has a past, and you weren’t part of it. I bet you have a past too. You said yourself that you lead a great life now, so stop behaving like an insecure jerk and creating problems where there are none!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 13, 2022

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 40 year old and married for 14 years but what happened in 2011 was me n my wife was working in a same company and my wife became close to a colleague on the same floor we work. She was very friendly n one day her colleague proposed her via her friend my wife didn't tell me n she felt very excited about it and after she became very friendly with him after few days she was ignoring me and she expressed her feelings too.but soon she realised she is going wrong and i noticed her changed behaviour and soon she started ignoring tht guy but he came n offered her chocolate and my wife informed me saying this guy's intentions I ask her to tie raakhi she tried but he was running away later we logged out she asked me to stop him and I forced him to him to tie raakhi and my wife was tying and he said I love u. I gve a tight slap to tht guy. Soon after he left the job. We were still working and left the office n joined different companies.after 6 months she went to same office for 2 months. And suddenly she left the job.Now after 12 years her TL met with my ex colleague and shared he working in tht office my colleague asked hey in tht same office my friend was working with his wife and her TL said ohh yeah his wife had n affair with other guy and he asked his wife to raakhi. And my ex colleague called me n said the same to me and since then I have so many doubts on my wife and after few days she confessed she had feelings for him and she already knew he likes her and she said it was just a feeling. Now we are having difference between us. Please help what can be done now I'm getting disturbed alot. 12 years this was secret.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are facing such issues. Doubt is very destructive in a relationship. It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner regarding what happened in the past. Don't push her to give you all the details; it will not contribute positively to your well-being. Aim for a more balanced and productive discussion.

You have to recognize that all these happened many years back. It's in the past. And you cannot change it. While it's essential to acknowledge and understand them, dwelling on them may impact your peace of mind. Focus on the present and try to build a more transparent and communicative relationship in the present. Take this opportunity to work together and strengthen your marriage.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |149 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 26, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi Shalini ji i am married since 2007 last 18 years my life was going very we'll and we both have good understanding and we both taking care of our family having two kids very well last year i come to know that before marriage my wife were having one male friend this male friends usually meet my wife at that time and gossips and even he taken her to visit on some locations 4 to 5 times as per my wife this friend was taken her to his room also 4 time but as they were good friends only so they just gossiping there as well as per my wife she had no any feeling with that guy but in between one day he asked her that he want to marry her , as per my wife he was telling him that he has been broken by his old girl friend and now since my wife listening him very carefully he started liking her , my wife still meeting him in between and go for outing at that time one day he asked to visit her home for marriage than my wife reject his proposal, after that this man gone out of station and than not met her, as per my wife telling me that i have not liked him and not having any feeling at that time and she telling that my 1st love is my husband only i am not able to decide anything now and not able to sleep properly not able to focus on me my health and my work i am vey shocked that the girl i love how she met with other man in past why she gone for outdoor and his room in past i am vey upset from last one year now and nkt able to find any Solution what to do now how to live life ahead pl guide me
Ans: Whilst I comment on dating and how to find your person, I will like to comment on this

1. basis of what you have shared you are overthinking and ruining what you have had since 18 years. your wife decided to stay with you and invest in the relationship with you is the fact that she cares for you and the relationship so stop being upset, be kind to yourself, her and the relationship.

on another note

2. marriage should not stop us from having close friends from the opposite gender.

3. if you are married, it means you are an adult which means if two adults consent to adultery its their responsibility to accept it. say if you are attracted to a woman and go all the way its not the woman who has lured you, both are in their senses and know what they are doing.

4. yes even after marrying or being in a committed relationship you can and will find others attractive and you will be found attractive to others. Its upto you and only you on how you wish to act if such a situation arises. As I shared you are an adult and someone who can not think but also overthink so you decide how to act in such a situation.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2272 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on May 07, 2025

Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |373 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 07, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8324 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2025
Money
Sir, I wqnted your advise, regarding an investment. My building is going for re-development, there is a additional flat sale for about 1cr, which will be ready in about 3 years. Please can you advise is it worth to invest 1cr in additional flat, i have savings of about 1cr, or should i keep the 1cr as Fixed Deposit. I do not have knowledge about investment in mutual funds or SIP. Thanks to advise.
Ans: It's commendable that you're considering the best investment route for your Rs. 1 crore savings. Let's evaluate the options you've mentioned and explore a comprehensive approach to wealth creation.

Understanding Your Investment Options
1. Investing in the Additional Flat

Illiquidity Concerns: Real estate investments are typically illiquid. Selling a property can take time and may not fetch the expected price.

Maintenance and Other Costs: Owning an additional flat comes with recurring expenses like maintenance charges, property taxes, and potential renovation costs.

Market Volatility: Property prices can fluctuate based on various factors, including economic conditions and government policies.

Rental Income Uncertainty: If you're considering renting out the flat, rental yields in many Indian cities are relatively low compared to the property's value.

2. Keeping the Amount in Fixed Deposits (FDs)

Low Returns: FDs offer fixed returns, but these may not outpace inflation, leading to a decrease in real purchasing power over time.

Tax Implications: Interest earned from FDs is taxable as per your income slab, which can further reduce the net returns.

Lack of Flexibility: Premature withdrawal from FDs can attract penalties, limiting liquidity.

Exploring Mutual Funds as an Alternative
Given that you're new to mutual funds and SIPs, it's essential to understand their potential benefits:

Professional Management: Mutual funds are managed by experienced fund managers who make investment decisions based on thorough research.

Diversification: By investing in a mutual fund, your money is spread across various assets, reducing risk.

Liquidity: Most mutual funds offer high liquidity, allowing you to redeem your investment when needed.

Potential for Higher Returns: Historically, mutual funds, especially equity-oriented ones, have offered higher returns over the long term compared to traditional instruments like FDs.

Tax Efficiency: Mutual funds can be more tax-efficient, especially with the benefits available under certain sections of the Income Tax Act.

Recommended Approach
Considering your current situation and the pros and cons of each investment option:

Avoid Investing in the Additional Flat: Given the illiquidity, associated costs, and potential market volatility, investing in another property may not be the most efficient use of your funds.

Limit Exposure to FDs: While FDs offer safety, the returns may not be sufficient to meet long-term financial goals, especially after accounting for inflation and taxes.

Consider Mutual Funds for Wealth Creation:

Start with a Lump Sum Investment: Allocate a portion of your Rs. 1 crore savings into mutual funds, focusing on a mix of equity and debt funds based on your risk appetite.

Initiate SIPs: Set up Systematic Investment Plans to invest a fixed amount regularly, benefiting from rupee cost averaging and disciplined investing.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner: Given your unfamiliarity with mutual funds, seeking guidance from a certified professional can help tailor an investment strategy aligned with your financial goals.

Final Insights
Your initiative to seek advice before making a significant investment decision is commendable. By steering clear of additional real estate investments and limiting exposure to low-yield instruments like FDs, you can explore avenues like mutual funds that offer the potential for higher returns and greater flexibility. Engaging with a certified financial planner can further ensure that your investment strategy is well-aligned with your long-term financial objectives.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x