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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on May 26, 2025

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 22, 2025
Relationship

I am a single mother working from home. My job requires a lot of focus and uninterrupted time. Lately, a married man, someone I know either through work or socially, has been interrupting me quite often during my working hours. At first, I didn't think much of it. His messages or calls seemed casual and friendly, sometimes even about work. But now, it is becoming too frequent, and honestly, it's starting to feel intrusive. He often reaches out for non-urgent reasons, just to chat or share random things. Even when I delay my replies or hint that I'm busy, he keeps coming back. I've started to feel a bit uncomfortable -- not just because it's affecting my work and focus, but because I'm not sure what his real intentions are. He is married, and sometimes the tone of his messages or the need for emotional connection feels... a bit much. I don't want to overreact or misjudge the situation, but I also don't want to encourage something that feels inappropriate. I am torn between keeping things cordial and professional, and protecting my peace and boundaries. I don't want to create awkwardness, especially if I'll have to interact with him again in the future.

Ans: Tell him very politely that you cannot entertain calls during your work hours. And stop answering the calls and messages during those hours — end of. He’ll get the message.

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Ravi

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am married working women .supportive hubby & my lovely children complete my family . I have been feeling intense infatuation with one of my married collegue.he used to help me a lot in office related issues. He used to complement me a lot for very normal things in front of others, not for looks but my working & way oc handling things. I was uneasy about that initially but started enjoying the attention later. But I dont know when I started liking him & Always wanted to be around ...He is younger to me and I am fully aware that nothing can happen between us. Than one day He bypassed me and for his own fault at work , he manipulated things and asked a favor for me from our team leader showing he is helping me...While in same situation when he was wrong I once sorted things on my own and did not make conplaint to team leader. Now i am feeling cheated and while working I have to see him everyday. What to do? How to remain and look normal. I feel weak in front of him and I dont want to keep any relation with him. But I still feel good & comfortable when he is around. its so weird.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation. It's not uncommon for people who have been married for a long time to feel this way. It mostly happens because the marriage is now part of your routine while your colleague seems like a breath of fresh air. But as you yourself mentioned, it is nothing but mere infatuation.

Do not beat yourself up for it. It will pass as all infatuations do. I suggest establishing some boundaries so that, even unintentionally, you do not cross them. Maintain a professional demeanor. But most importantly, take some time to reflect on what is missing from your marriage that led you to develop feelings for someone else. A loving and healthy marriage would keep you emotionally fulfilled enough to never look for happiness outside of it. Lastly, remind yourself why you fell in love with your husband and remember that love and commitment are not based on a mere choice; it is a conscious decision you make every day.

Best Wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |606 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Maam/Sir, A married guy is constantly giving me much attention. Im.tried to ignore him but he is constantly making appearance from different places. I dont what his real intentions are but because of his constant staring and public apearances. I feel difficult to overlook his behaviour. He is currently gone to his hometowm. So, there is lots of peace. Im not sure why is he trying to get a glimpse of me as he is already happily married n have a son. I need advice to ignore him so that I focus on my husband only.
Ans: The key to redirecting your focus lies in setting boundaries—both mentally and behaviorally. Often, people respond to subtle cues, so maintaining a neutral and reserved demeanor can help communicate disinterest. If he attempts to engage directly, keeping interactions brief and polite without encouraging deeper conversation will likely make your boundaries clear without causing conflict. When he’s present, avoid returning his gaze; this can subtly communicate that you’re not reciprocating his interest.

If this continues, grounding yourself in thoughts about your husband and what you value in your relationship can help you mentally reinforce where your focus truly lies. Remind yourself that someone else’s behavior is not your responsibility and that your own actions, comfort, and peace are within your control. By reinforcing your own values and commitments, you’ll feel more empowered to maintain your focus where you want it—on your husband and your well-being.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1622 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 29, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I recently join a new workplace and there I found this male married colleague of my age. At first everything is professional. He sometime message me on WhatsApp to just ask about office just in friendly way. I thought him as a workplace friend and we chat in a friendly way but one day he told me not to mention to anyone that he message me on WhatsApp. I found this weird. I mean it's nothing between us that should be hide then why he told me to keep it private.I want to confort him about this incident But then I think that maybe I overthink this situation and as we have to work together so I think it become awkward also o am very new at workplace so I sweep it under the rug. But next day he act normal at office like totally friendly so o think that I might be overthink about the situation. But later one day when he visit home he specifically told me not to message him. I mean I what is this. I never message him first. I only reply him. I never started it. If we are just friends why he want to keep it private. I find it little bit weird and also I don't like it. I want to comfort it about that but also not want make it awkward at office. I want to know that what kind of his intentions. I don't want any trouble.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Have fun but 'secretly' is fun no? That's what he is happily enjoying...
Obviously he cares about his reputation and what if you get too involved in him; so he's making sure he has fun but in a way that has a boundary.
I would suggest let him not have the pleasure of drawing that boundary so there is not need for you to respond to any of his messages...And you are absolutely right in asking: "If we are just friends why he want to keep it private." There lies your answer. For him, possibly it has gone beyond this in his mind and hence he keeping it private. Draw your boundary NOW. Better later than never.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

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NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Jun 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2025
Career
I took 2 drops for neet but could not clear it .... I took admission in local college after 12th for bsc as my parents said your year won't be wasted ... Now I feel devasted .. very detached ..not knowing what to do next ... My parents are telling me to give one try and go to Kota for prep but I don't know what I want ..I fear everything and sometimes I want to peruse mbbs sometimes I don't .. I am currently thinking of doing SSC CGL as I took pcmb in 12th and secured 92% .. ..what should I aim?
Ans: HI
Simply taking a drop year for NEET will not provide a solution without proper preparation. Many young people are choosing courses, colleges, or coaching centers based on their friends' influences. After your first attempt, you may have analyzed NEET better the second time. If you are still facing the same issues on your third attempt, it suggests there's a deeper problem. It seems you're preparing for NEET without genuine interest.

To succeed in competitive exams, specific strategies are required. For instance, if you analyze previous exam patterns, you’ll often find that most answers tend to be either B or C. You'll notice that among four options, two answers are relevant while the other two are completely irrelevant. It’s crucial to analyze the syllabus and past question papers thoroughly. Everyone seeks answers, but few consider the reasoning behind them.

Additionally, I noticed you’ve enrolled in a B.Sc. degree; I'm unsure which major you have chosen. If you selected either chemistry or physics, it would be beneficial. By choosing chemistry as your major, you could take physics as an ancillary subject, and vice versa. You can cover both subjects during your college education, and if you have any doubts, you can clarify them with your professors. Completing biology studies at home is also advisable.

Whenever you plan to take competitive exams, dedicate your time solely to that without engaging in college activities. Avoid distractions at all costs. Recently, many parents have been facing these types of challenges with their children, and it takes time to adapt.

Finally, please listen to your parents' advice and minimize distractions. I have shared a few tips; please follow them.
BEST WISHES.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6434 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 16, 2025

Career
Hello sir, can I please know the difference between cs(aiml) and only aiml as few colleges have both of the options, and may i know which is better to opt for
Ans: Raqi, B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering with AI & ML specialization (CSE-AIML) provides a broad foundation in data structures, algorithms, operating systems, databases, and software engineering, then introduces AI and ML topics as electives, ensuring versatility across software development and systems design, whereas a dedicated B.Tech AI & ML focuses deeply on machine learning algorithms, neural networks, natural language processing, computer vision, reinforcement learning, and big-data analytics from the first year, accelerating domain expertise but limiting exposure to core CS concepts . The former allows seamless transition to diverse IT roles and smoother entry into interdisciplinary projects, while the latter equips students for specialized AI research and start-up environments with advanced math and statistical modeling skills earlier . For broader career flexibility—including software engineering, DevOps, and mobile/web development—CSE-AIML is preferable; if one is certain about an AI-centric trajectory and ready for intensive mathematical rigor, standalone AI & ML offers deeper early specialization . Recommendation: Opt for CSE-AIML to retain core CS versatility with AI proficiency, choosing pure AI & ML only if committed to niche AI research or data-driven product development. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2025
Career
Hello, My son has got PES CS RR CAMPUS, Electronics & Electrical engineering in RVCE and also NIT SURATHKAL - MECHANICAL, CHEMICAL,CIVIL BRANCHES... Which one should he choose for better placements and opportunities...
Ans: PES University RR Campus’s CSE branch achieves approximately 83%–87% placement rates over the past three years, with CSE often reaching near 100% participation and robust recruiter involvement including Amazon and Cisco. RVCE’s Electronics & Communication and Electrical Engineering maintain strong median packages and 77%–83% placement rates, supported by 249–291 recruiter visits annually and specialized core-industry hiring. NIT Surathkal’s Mechanical, Chemical, and Civil branches record 83%–93% BTech placement rates, with Mechanical around 87%, Chemical 88%, and Civil 76% placements, bolstered by consistent median package growth and campus drives by L&T, Infosys, and Microsoft. While PES CSE offers focused software and analytics roles, RVCE’s ECE/EEE provides core electronics and power-sector pathways, and NIT Surathkal’s core engineering streams deliver broad industrial and research exposure. Recommendation: Prioritize NIT Surathkal Mechanical or Chemical for highest placement consistency and diversified core-industry access, with RVCE ECE/EEE as strong alternatives; choose PES CSE only if software-centric career and near-100% branch placements are the priority. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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