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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am a Hindu girl and in a relationship with a muslim guy. Our relationship was going great but suddenly my boyfriend's family is forcing him to marry in a arranged marriage. I have told him to tell about us to his family and he is trying to but hasn't said yet. But due to his family pressure and my constant saying of marriage he gets irritated a lot. Now I'm feeling a little change in his behaviour also like he just try to skip discussion about future and marriage, also when I call him he is not talking nicely with me. I'm getting very emotional and hurt due to his behaviour. Also he has said that he will try his best to convince his family but now I'm not sure if he will take my stand or not. What to do now?

Ans: He sounds like a coward who will do as his family says. And I don’t think he intends to stick with you if they say no. Heck, I don’t think he plans on saying anything at all! If he loved you enough and had the gumption, he’d have taken a stand by now. I say drop him and move on. See what happens when you leave him; if he really does love you and want to be with you, he’ll take action. But unfortunately, from everything you’ve said here it sounds more like he’ll be relieved and go on to marry under an arrangement. If he does…don’t ever entertain any calls from him ever again. I’ve often heard of fools like him — no guts to marry the girlfriend, miserable in the arranged marriage six months to a year in, then re-establish contact with former girlfriend and have an affair, but no guts to end the marriage. In this whole scenario, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who will be at the losing end — you! DROP HIM!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ma'am, I have been in a relationship for almost a decade now i.e. since graduation and now me and my bf are doing good in our respective jobs. Since we come from different religions, we have been trying to convince our family very much for last two years to let us happen and get married and in these scenarios during covid I lost my father too now that it's just me and my mom and my elder sister due to societal pressure also they were not agreeing for us but then I could feel now that his family was some how just dragging us showing fake acceptance for me but still being very orthodox but in this process me and my bf got committed to each other very seriously in terms of physical ways but now his family is completely denying the fact that they don't us to happen and are literally forcing his son to marry in their caste. On this thing, the guy is trying to make me understand with false accusations that it's not his family butine which doesn't want us to proceed since my family wanted a mutual ways of marriage and not just his culture thing or else court marriage was the last opt but my guy is saying no I can never go against my family this and that you better understand and I don't know I'm feeling very cheated that now at this stage after being this close where he should have been standing strong with me he's pushing me to set back I don't know iam so clueless I got no energy to get back to being productive in my life or something whereas this acts of his and his family's forcible nature is somehow triggering me to opt for legal methods....I need guidance it's all dark for me and feeling too used.
Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1523 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

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Relationship
hi maam im in love with a guy who i met in hyd im 24 years nd he is 28 we both r in love with eachother and wanna marry eachother but the prblm is that i come from a christian family and he comes from a hindu family my mom is not ready to accept him just because he is a hindu and my family r forcing me to get married to a christian guy itself they r mentally forcing me everyday to leave him just because he is a hindu nd our caste is different my family seperated me from him and forcing me to get married to a guy of their choice and in my family there r 16 members who have had love marriages i took help of my relative who also had a love marriage to convince my parents and help us to get married but she is the one who add more fake rumors and more fuel about him that he is doing timepass even if they talk to him in calls they say that he is not lifting our calls at all i have all the recordings but still they r lying to me nd my mom saying that he is not ready to talk about her it became difficult for me to convince them my mom listen to my relatives as they say and so they do i dont have anyone to support me to get married to my bf plz help i wanna marry him only and i see future with him he is the only one who make me laugh play with me like how a dad plays with his daughter i havent got the love from my parents when im getting the love from him they seperated me from him and forcefully bought me to my native place nd not letting me meet or see him im depressed asking my parents to meet him but they r like no we dont like him my parents r not ready to understand and they r saying he is with u only for ur money he also told my relatives that i dont want money but still they r keeping on adding fuel and mentally harrasing me to get married to someone else they r forcefully trying to get me married to someone else i wanna marry him only what should i do plz help i love him so does he
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1523 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a 30 year old working woman. I am pretty introvert and never have been in a relationship. Men have never approached me maybe because of my closed off nature. My mother has been constantly pressing me to look for a potential match for last 3-4 years. I have been trying dating apps and matrimony apps and have gone on a lot of dates but till now there has been no success. This entire process is taking a toll on me. When I say this to my mother she will not listen and instead keeps on searching for matches herself and make me go on dates which ultimately doesn't last since none of them seem to be compatible (mainly because of difference in family background, salary differences , values mismatch,etc). At this point I am confused. I do want to settle down for the sake of life long companionship but feel that things aren't working for me and sometimes my frustrations make me feel that I am good not married. What should I do in this case?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When the right person comes along, you will know it. Until then, enjoy the process without being too attached to the outcome. If something clicks, then it does...why fret over anything?
Your mother is just doing what she is out of love and concern; so, let her! By pushing her back it will only heighten her concern and it will come back to you in other unhealthy ways. Go along with it and just play the wait and watch game. A good way to convert your frustration into something more useful and light.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1196 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

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Career
My daughter is currently doing ICSE 10th and is performing very well in the class in Kochi. I would like to know what are the options of preparing for entrance exams such as KEAM and NEET without putting a strain or off-balance of her regular class work. What are options of attending online and offline coaching? What would be effective ? What are some good study materials ?..etc
Ans: Hello CJ
Here is the point-wise reply to your question: (1) To appear for KEAM or NEET, you have to take PCMB subjects in the 11th and 12th and appear for the respective entrance tests (2) If you are not interested in giving her stress then either she can prepare it via self-study or by joining any coaching classes (3) It is recommended to join offline classes and if your financial situation permits, then you can join any online classes only for "revision purpose". You should not remain dependent on online classes as they have huge drawbacks. (4) Related to the material, the concerned subject teacher will guide her. Yet it would be highly recommended to contact the recently passed students who cracked KEAM/NEET with high scores. Everybody referees different authors' books. But some of them are common for which your daughter can take the help. (5) Please keep in touch with the NTA website which offers free test series for NEET/JEE. (6) Ask her to focus on the interested subject either Bio or Maths. (7) Joining any coaching either offline or online mode does not carry a guarantee of success. One has to try himself. I hope, your daughter will also follow the same path of hard work to get success in either KEAM or NEET.
Best of luck to your daughter for her upcoming bright future.

If satisfied with the reply, pl like and follow me, else ask again.
Thanks
Radheshyam

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8005 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hi ... I am a 48 year old male and need some specific financial advice on my finances. Here is a detailed breakup of my income, assets and liabilities Income from Salary : 4.6L per month after taxes Assets & Investments : Apartment - 4 crore at current value Savings & Equity - 35L SIP - 40L corpus (75K per month being invested) EPF & VPF - 60L (I contribute around 15K every month to VPF) Liabilities : Home Loan : 1.1 Crore (Tenure remaining 9 yrs) Other Loans : 45L (Tenure remaining 5 yrs) Monthly household Exp : 2.2L Insurance : Health Insurance Coverage : 25L (Company provides 5L and I have upgraded to 25L) Life Insurance : 1cr for wife & 6cr for self Future Milestones : Retirement Son's Education & Marriage (Currently 17 yrs old) I don't think I have enough savings and assets to head to a comfortable retirement and this gives me sleepless nights. Can you please help by providing a detailed plan of where I should invest more and by how much? Please note that I don't have much room to save more given my expenses. Thank you.
Ans: You're in a solid financial position but carrying a heavy loan burden, which is affecting your retirement confidence. Here’s how you can optimize your finances:

Debt Management
Prioritize clearing your Rs 45L loan in the next 3-5 years.
Try prepaying Rs 5-10L annually from bonuses, RSUs, or other windfalls.
Keep your home loan for tax benefits, but consider refinancing if a lower rate is available.
Investment Strategy
Your SIPs are strong; continue the Rs 75K/month allocation.
Increase your equity exposure post-loan repayment for better growth.
Review your portfolio to balance large caps, mid-small caps, and debt.
Retirement Planning
At 48, you should aim for Rs 12-15 crore by 60.
Your current investments will compound, but increasing contributions post-loan repayment is key.
Consider a mix of mutual funds, PPF, and NPS for tax efficiency.
Son’s Education & Marriage
With 1-2 years left, ensure Rs 40-50L liquidity for college fees.
If not done yet, set aside a lump sum in debt mutual funds or a fixed deposit.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8005 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

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Money
Dear Sir, I took a loan of Rs. 44 lakhs @ 8.70% floating with 216 EMIs in August 2019 from HDFC Housing. Till recent, i'm not aware that the rate of interest being applied is 10.5% and still it is shown as 213 EMIs balance to be remitted as on 18.02.2025, despite no pending or late payments at my end. Please advise what to be done sir!
Ans: Your situation is a classic case of interest rate hikes affecting floating-rate home loans. Since you took the loan in August 2019 at 8.70%, and now the rate has increased to 10.5%, your EMI is going more towards interest rather than the principal. That's why your loan tenure has barely reduced.

Immediate Steps to Take
1. Contact HDFC Housing Immediately
Visit or call your bank and ask for a detailed loan amortization statement.
Get clarity on why the tenure is not reducing despite timely payments.
Request a break-up of the outstanding loan amount and revised interest calculations.
2. Ask for an Interest Rate Reduction
HDFC allows you to reduce your floating rate by paying a nominal fee (loan conversion charge).
Check the current floating home loan rates for existing borrowers and ask them to apply the lowest possible rate.
If HDFC refuses, ask about switching to a better scheme within HDFC itself.
3. Consider Balance Transfer to Another Bank
If HDFC does not reduce your interest rate significantly, you can transfer your home loan to another bank with lower rates.

Banks like SBI, ICICI, and Axis Bank may offer interest rates below 9% for a balance transfer.
Check with a few banks and negotiate for the lowest possible interest rate.
Ensure that the processing fee and other charges do not offset the savings from lower interest.
4. Prepay a Part of Your Loan (If Possible)
If you have some savings, prepay at least 5-10% of the loan principal.
This will reduce your interest burden and EMI tenure.
Ensure that prepayment charges (if any) are minimal or waived.
5. Monitor Your Loan Regularly
Floating-rate loans fluctuate based on RBI policy changes.
Check your home loan rate every 6 months to avoid sudden increases.
Opt for automatic rate conversion with HDFC, if available.
Final Insights
You should first try to reduce your rate with HDFC.
If they do not offer a better rate, go for a balance transfer.
If you have surplus funds, consider prepayment to reduce your tenure faster.
Always monitor your home loan rate every 6 months to avoid overpaying.
Would you like help in evaluating a balance transfer option with a different bank?

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8005 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hello Team, Please advice from the below stocks which are not good from long term perspective of 3-5yrs with reasons: 1.Bajaj Housing Finance 2.BEL 3.Coal India 4.Dixon 5.Deepak Nitrite 6.Escorts 7.First Source Solution 8.Gareware Fiber Textile 9.Greaves Cotton 10.IRCTC 11.JK Paper 12.Maruti 13.Mazgon Dockyard 14.RVNL 15.Pidilite 16.Trent 17.Titan 18.Zen Technologies Regards, Amarendra
Ans: Your stock portfolio consists of companies from various sectors, including finance, defense, auto, infrastructure, and manufacturing. While some of these stocks have strong long-term potential, a few may face challenges over the next 3-5 years. Below is an analysis of stocks that may not be the best fit for long-term holding.

Stocks to Reconsider for Long-Term Investment (3-5 Years)
1. Bajaj Housing Finance
Housing finance companies are highly dependent on interest rate cycles.
RBI rate hikes can impact lending growth.
Competition from banks and fintech players is increasing.
2. Coal India
Coal demand may decline due to a global shift towards renewable energy.
Government regulations on carbon emissions could impact future growth.
The company has strong dividends, but capital appreciation may be limited.
3. Greaves Cotton
Faces stiff competition in the electric vehicle (EV) and auto component space.
EV transition is challenging for traditional engine manufacturers.
Growth prospects depend on EV adoption, which is uncertain.
4. First Source Solutions
IT services firms face margin pressure due to automation and AI.
The company lacks strong global scalability compared to bigger IT players.
Growth in the BPM (Business Process Management) industry is slowing down.
5. IRCTC
Revenue depends heavily on Indian Railways policies.
Any policy change by the government can impact profitability.
Stock is overvalued with limited growth potential.
6. RVNL (Rail Vikas Nigam Limited)
PSU infrastructure stocks depend on government projects.
Execution risks and delays affect revenue growth.
Limited innovation and scalability compared to private players.
Stocks with Strong Long-Term Potential
The remaining stocks in your portfolio have strong fundamentals and long-term growth potential. However, active management is necessary to ensure continued performance.

Switch to Active Mutual Funds for Better Growth
Managing an individual stock portfolio requires constant tracking, analysis, and decision-making. Instead of investing in individual stocks, switching to actively managed mutual funds can offer several benefits:

? Professional Management – Fund managers actively monitor and adjust holdings.
? Diversification – Reduces risk by investing in multiple sectors.
? Consistent Returns – Actively managed funds can outperform the market over time.
? Tax Efficiency – Mutual funds offer better tax advantages compared to stocks.

You can invest in large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap mutual funds based on your risk appetite. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized investment advice.

Would you like a detailed mutual fund recommendation based on your goals?

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8005 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2025Hindi
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Money
Hello Ramalingam, Could you provide your feedback on my active SIPs? Axis Bluechip Fund Direct Plan Growth - 5k DSP Global Innovation FoF Direct Growth - 10k ICICI Prudential Tech Direct Growth - 8k Axis Small Cap Fund Direct Growth - 10k Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Direct Growth - 2.5k PGIM India Midcap Oppurtunites Fund Direct Growth - 6k Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Direct Growth - 15k Nippon India Pharma Fund Direct Growth - 10k Quant Small Cap Direct Plan Growth - 10k Axis ELSS Tax Saver Regular Growth - 2.5k Kotak Emerging Equity Fund Regular - 4.3k Mirae Asset Large & Midcap Direct Regular - 2.5k Kotak Small Cap Fund Growth Regular - 2.5k
Ans: You have a well-diversified SIP portfolio, but some improvements can be made. Below is a detailed review of your portfolio with suggestions.

Portfolio Diversification
Your portfolio covers large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, flexi-cap, pharma, technology, and international exposure.

There are too many funds in the portfolio, leading to duplication.

A more focused approach can improve returns while maintaining diversification.

Large-Cap Exposure
Your portfolio has a large-cap fund. Large-cap funds provide stability.

Consider keeping only one large-cap fund instead of multiple overlapping ones.

Large-cap funds deliver steady growth but may not beat inflation significantly.

Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Exposure
You have multiple mid-cap and small-cap funds. These funds offer high growth potential.

Overexposure to small-cap and mid-cap can increase risk.

Reducing the number of mid-cap and small-cap funds will avoid redundancy.

Flexi-Cap and Multi-Cap Exposure
Flexi-cap funds allow fund managers to invest across market caps.

One flexi-cap fund is sufficient. Multiple flexi-cap funds lead to overlap.

A well-managed flexi-cap fund can balance risk and returns.

Sectoral and Thematic Funds
Pharma and technology funds are sectoral funds. They perform well in specific market cycles.

Sectoral funds are high-risk and should not exceed 10-15% of the total portfolio.

Consider reducing exposure to sectoral funds unless you have a long-term view.

International Fund Exposure
Global exposure adds diversification. However, international markets have different risks.

Foreign exchange rates and geopolitical risks can affect returns.

A single international fund is enough for diversification.

Tax-Saving ELSS Fund
ELSS funds help save tax under Section 80C.

ELSS has a lock-in period of three years.

One ELSS fund is enough instead of multiple tax-saving funds.

Direct vs Regular Funds
You have invested in direct funds. Direct funds require active tracking.

Regular funds provide guidance from an MFD with CFP credentials.

If you are not monitoring regularly, consider switching to regular funds.

Overlap Analysis
Some funds have similar stocks, leading to portfolio overlap.

Reducing overlapping funds can make your portfolio more efficient.

A focused approach improves returns without excessive diversification.

Debt Fund Allocation
There is no debt fund in the portfolio.

Debt funds provide stability and liquidity.

A small allocation to a short-duration debt fund can help manage short-term goals.

Portfolio Simplification Suggestions
Reduce the number of overlapping funds.

Keep one large-cap, one mid-cap, one small-cap, one flexi-cap, and one sectoral fund.

Limit international exposure to a single fund.

Maintain tax-saving investments only if needed under Section 80C.

Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-structured but has too many funds.

Streamlining the portfolio will improve efficiency and returns.

Reduce sectoral and mid/small-cap exposure for better risk management.

Add a debt fund for stability and liquidity.

Monitor the portfolio regularly or consult a Certified Financial Planner for guidance.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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