I am a Hindu girl and in a relationship with a muslim guy. Our relationship was going great but suddenly my boyfriend's family is forcing him to marry in a arranged marriage. I have told him to tell about us to his family and he is trying to but hasn't said yet. But due to his family pressure and my constant saying of marriage he gets irritated a lot. Now I'm feeling a little change in his behaviour also like he just try to skip discussion about future and marriage, also when I call him he is not talking nicely with me. I'm getting very emotional and hurt due to his behaviour. Also he has said that he will try his best to convince his family but now I'm not sure if he will take my stand or not. What to do now?

Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.

Ans: He is making it clear that he is not ready for marriage and that you should go ahead and meet folks being introduced by your parents. There is no confusion. Accept it. For your sanity block him on social media so that you do not have urge to reach out to him or reply to him when he responds.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that convincing your parents can be the toughest job ever. If you are not ready, you should communicate that to your partner. Make him understand your concerns. Now, since he is in a tough spot too, you should listen to his side as well. Both of you can sit together and find a middle ground that works for you both. Communication will help avoid misunderstandings. Let him know that you want this, but you need some time. Also, hear what he has to say. Maybe he is truly out of time. Figuring out an issue together is much better than trying to figure it out alone.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
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