Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Din Question by Din on Dec 31, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am 43 years male. Got married at the age of 38. My marriage last hardly 2 years. From 3-4 years we love separately. She always use to fight for small small reasons. Some time without reasons. Always check use to check my mobile and doubt on me. I cougt her chatting with some stranger. After asking telling her that person is her well wisher.. i doubt on her. She alway hide many things. Never openup and ahare anything. She used to lie with me. I caught her many times about this. I asking her for divorce but she is not ready for.. she still wants to stay with me.. but i don't like her now...pls guide.

Ans: It takes two people to stay in a marriage. If you want out, she cannot stop you. File for divorce if you want to — you don’t need her permission to do so.
Asked on - Jan 11, 2024 | Not Answered yet
If i filed for Divorce from my side, do i need to pay alimony. If yes, how can i proceesed for. What prcess u suggest me to follow or take care any point for smoother transition

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, I am married from last 15 year, having a daughter , my realtion with my wife is very bad, she is like this since start of marriage, our is arrange marriage. She didn't want any kind of responsibility, she always want to go out and if possible do shopping, if I asked not to over spend she thinks not sure what and create scene. She fight with everyone even in office or with her parents, she blames other for all this, never ever think she can be wrong, she is having a feeling if you correct her , she not going to like it, she will say no need to teach me , I know. She even not hving very good relationship with my daughter, she is in class 10th and staying in baording. I am hving 2 flat just like jodi flat adjacant to each other, i am staying in one and she is in another , she hardly let me hv sex, but she talks or chat with stranger whole night, i try to question her but she started fighting, she didn't listen and do what ever she want, if u question she will fight, i really don't know how to handle this situation, I am feeling trapped and she is accusing me for all the mess. We had fight lots of time , we abused each other during fight a lot , but the problem still persist nothing changed in 15 years recently after fight i stop talking with her . Not sure how I should move forward , i talked with my daughter and she also suggesting me leave her for some time she will realize , should i go for divorce or how to move forward.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:

1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Take care of yourself: Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

3. Set boundaries: If your wife's behavior is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting limits on spending, or establishing rules around communication.

4. Consider couples therapy: If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.

5. Think about your options: If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options. Consider speaking with a lawyer who can provide guidance on the legal aspects of divorce.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.

..Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |36 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
hi iam 53 yhears old got married around 18 yearsw back to my wife she is no 39 years old good evening i got married and i have three kids elder is 18 years younger is 16 years and i have daughter of 10years old since my marriage there was always clash between me and my wife for small silly reasons it was going on but since 3 years the clash become very rash and she even gave complaint on me to lady police station she threated me and every night i come late that time i am taking drinks she started to quarrel even not allows me to have food she drive me wild and in my unconsious mind i oftenly i use to abuse her with bad words even my neighbours many time they came to resolve the problem now she is asking property which i have gained from my parents. and since one year she is treating me like stray dog and never allowes me to have sex routenly she sleep like a dead in my bed. she left my house taking my all kids since last 6 months i forced to live alone now by some how i manage to bring her to my house along with kids but she refused having sex with me and she neverhad sex with me since 7 months i have becom patient of depression i dont know what to do please help me in this regard thank you
Ans: Hello sir. I have read your message and I would first like to express my opinion that a partner is not always for sex. There are many other ways to take care of your partner. You could take your wife out for dinner, go out on a picnic, go with with her to her parents' house. But when we dont do all these things and just want sex from partner. That doesn't work. At this age she might be going through some hormonal changes also. I suggest you to start behaving nicely with your wife and start taking care of her. Slowly the things will improve between you too.
Take care !
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |583 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8319 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 05, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, I am aged 40 years a aggressive investor I have recent corpus of 13 lac in mutual fund and doing SIP of Rs30500 monthly in following funds . Nippon small cap - 9000 , Tata small cap - 7500 , Quant Small cap - 6000 , kotak small cap - 5000 and Pgmi Flexi cap -3000 and a vision for next 22 years with step up of 10 %. I also invest in PPF of 12500 monthly and In EPF with 25000 basic salary and i will also get Rs 50 lac from various LIC policy at the age of 60 . I want to know that is my approach is right and what would be the future corpus at the age of 62 years .
Ans: You are doing a disciplined and smart job with your investments. You have a long-term horizon, a strong SIP commitment, and a clear goal in mind. That’s a big step many don’t take seriously. Let me now evaluate your approach from all angles. This will be a 360-degree review of your investment plan and future readiness.

Let us go step-by-step to understand if your approach is right and what the future looks like.

Your Current Financial Setup

You are 40 years old now.

You have a mutual fund corpus of Rs 13 lakh.

You invest Rs 30,500 monthly through SIP.

You invest in four small cap funds and one flexi cap fund.

You step up your SIP by 10% annually.

You have a PPF investment of Rs 12,500 monthly.

You contribute to EPF. Your basic salary is Rs 25,000.

You will receive Rs 50 lakh from LIC policies at age 60.

Your investment horizon is 22 years from now.

This is a solid plan and shows discipline. Now, let us evaluate it carefully with insights and suggestions.

Assessment of Mutual Fund Investments

You are investing heavily in small cap mutual funds.

Four out of five funds are from the small cap category.

Small caps give high returns, but they also carry high risk.

Over 22 years, this risk may work in your favour.

But the ride will be bumpy. There will be sharp ups and downs.

At times, you may see short-term losses. That is normal.

However, putting over 85% of SIP in small caps may be risky.

You need better diversification for stability.

Adding large cap and mid cap funds may balance the risk.

Your Flexi cap fund does help a bit, but it is still not enough.

A blend of market caps will give smoother long-term growth.

It is better to slowly bring down small cap exposure to 50%.

Increase exposure to diversified and mid-cap funds gradually.

Don’t exit small cap funds suddenly. Take a phased approach.

This change will make your portfolio strong and well-balanced.

Step-Up SIP Strategy – Strong and Effective

Increasing SIP by 10% annually is a smart idea.

This fights inflation and grows your wealth faster.

It uses your rising income to build a big corpus.

Many investors ignore step-up. You are doing it correctly.

Keep increasing the SIP without fail every year.

Even a break in step-up can delay your target.

Review your SIPs yearly and adjust as income rises.

This strategy will help you reach your target corpus faster.

Investment in PPF – A Safe Long-Term Cushion

PPF offers guaranteed, tax-free interest.

You are investing Rs 12,500 monthly in PPF.

Over 22 years, this will become a strong safe corpus.

It adds stability to your overall financial plan.

PPF is good for retirement since it is risk-free.

Keep continuing till maturity. Do not withdraw early.

Interest rate may vary, but long-term returns are good.

You also get tax exemption under Section 80C.

This risk-free asset will protect you from equity market shocks.

EPF – A Reliable Retirement Contributor

Your EPF is linked to your Rs 25,000 basic salary.

The employer also contributes monthly.

Over 22 years, this will grow into a big amount.

EPF offers fixed, tax-free returns with no market risk.

It is an excellent tool for retirement planning.

Avoid premature withdrawals from EPF.

You can withdraw after retirement for use as income.

This will be a strong pillar of your retirement security.

LIC Maturity at Age 60 – A Special Boost

You will receive Rs 50 lakh from LIC policies at age 60.

This will come at a perfect time near retirement.

You must check if these are traditional or ULIP plans.

Traditional plans offer low returns, mostly below inflation.

ULIPs carry market risk and high charges.

If these are investment-cum-insurance plans, surrendering is wise.

You can reinvest that surrender amount in mutual funds.

Use proper asset allocation while reinvesting.

For insurance needs, use only term insurance.

Reinvesting in mutual funds can make this Rs 50 lakh grow further.

Future Corpus at Age 62 – What to Expect

With SIPs, EPF, PPF and LIC money, your total savings will be huge.

Your mutual fund corpus will grow rapidly with step-up.

Your PPF and EPF will grow safely, year after year.

LIC amount will give a big boost just before retirement.

With 10% SIP step-up, your corpus can cross Rs 9 to 10 crore.

Exact figure depends on market returns, SIP discipline, and inflation.

But you are definitely on the right path to reach financial freedom.

You are preparing for retirement very well.

This kind of planning gives peace of mind and confidence.

Things You Are Doing Right – A Quick Look

Strong SIP discipline and long-term vision.

Investing in equity for long-term wealth creation.

Following step-up SIP approach.

Investing in PPF and EPF for safe returns.

Keeping investment horizon of 22 years.

Maintaining separate LIC maturity plans.

You are showing smart behaviour as an aggressive investor.

Key Improvements You Should Consider

Reduce small cap exposure to 50% slowly.

Add more mid-cap and flexi cap funds.

Avoid overlapping funds from same category.

Review performance of all funds every 6 months.

Check expense ratios and consistency of returns.

Track goal progress once a year with clear targets.

Make sure your portfolio has good asset allocation.

Don’t hold funds only based on past returns.

Always go through a Certified Financial Planner for changes.

This will make your portfolio more stable and return-oriented.

Important Taxation Insight

Long-Term Capital Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-Term Capital Gains are taxed at 20%.

Plan redemptions smartly to reduce tax.

Use staggered withdrawals near retirement.

Redeem equity funds over time, not all at once.

PPF and EPF are tax-free. LIC maturity is also tax-free.

But for mutual funds, plan redemptions with tax efficiency.

This will help you protect your wealth from tax erosion.

Important Notes on Fund Types and Investments

Do not use direct mutual funds if you are not an expert.

Direct funds need self-review and research, always.

There is no handholding or guidance with direct funds.

If you miss fund underperformance, losses may happen.

Regular funds through MFD with CFP advice are safer.

CFP will do goal review, fund analysis and rebalancing.

This adds value and protects your goals from derailment.

Always go through a trusted CFP for a 360-degree plan.

Your long-term wealth deserves the right expert attention.

Finally – Our Insights for You

You are on a great track with vision and discipline.

You are investing smartly across equity and debt.

With minor changes, your plan can become stronger.

Keep focus on diversification and risk management.

Review your goals and progress yearly with expert help.

Stick to your plan even during market falls.

Continue your SIP step-up and never skip contributions.

Use professional guidance to ensure smooth journey.

Your retirement will be financially independent and stress-free.

This approach will help you lead a proud, peaceful life post-60.

Stay committed and consistent. You are doing excellent already.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x