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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Sunil Question by Sunil on Dec 23, 2023Hindi
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Dear Experts, I am a male married for almost 30+ years. We enjoyed our marriage for 5 years but after that the troubles popped in. Since I lost my mother, I requested my father to allow me a divorce but he declined. I consider myself a very good counsellor but here i failed. I tried everything to change her attitude, but whenever I talk we end up arguing as result I start consuming alcohal and this continues for a week or 10 days. I have 2 kids a lovely daugher who is married and a son who is working. My wife always plays a vitim card because of that my children are against me. We have no physical intimacy for the almost 20+ years. I have tried to explain her the importance of physical intimacy but failed. Because of this my professional life is always in a turmoil. My in laws also blaming me for all ths sh*t and keep on arguing with me every time they visit. I really don't know what to do now. Please suggest. Thanks

Ans: You cannot play counsellor in your own marriage — you need a qualified third party to help you do so. And if the marriage is well and truly over, according to you, then the time to make it official has come.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 13, 2022

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Dear Love Guru, Please keep me anonymous. I am a 45 years old married male. Ours was an arranged marriage. My spouse as well as my in-laws have cynical attitude towards life. They are always abusive towards everyone at their back even. Earlier, I used to take it lightly and also tried to make my wife understand that there are good people also in the world. I also used to think that she may not be having the same attitude at least towards me but I was wrong. I always did my best whenever she was in trouble or otherwise, be it in her social, professional or medical needs but instead of acknowledging she always found some ulterior motive of mine. She acts sweet whenever she wants anything or to get things done from me otherwise she becomes abusive. Moreover, since beginning she discusses everything over phone with her mother and acts as per her guidance. I don't think that anything whatever happens in between us be it good or bad or in our house is not known to her mother. Whenever we have any quarrel she immediately calls her mother and tells her only her side of the things and uses abusive words for me. I have even requested her that even if she feels like calling her mother to lighten up, she may do it, but at least in privacy so that I should not hear the words she uses. But, now after 14 years I am getting fed up and don't feel like being with her. I am continuing because of my daughter as separation may affect the child. We no longer share any emotional or physical intimacy. I am exhausted. Please advise.  Regards, Anonymous
Ans:

Sounds like you’re tired of the marriage.

I would suggest attending some marital counselling together before you decide to finalise a split, if only for the sake of your daughter.

I understand that the child’s situation is taking precedence over yours, and that’s good parenting, but how long will you carry on like this? It’s been so many years already.

Your wife speaking to her mother about everything is understandable, but within earshot so that you hear it too is not. She obviously has ulterior motives.

Visit a competent counsellor. I’m sure you’ll be able to make headway in this situation.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 28, 2024Hindi
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Hello Anu, I am married for over 20 years. My wife has anger issues. Firstly, she gets annoyed with anything or everything. Secondly, she cannot control her anger. I had always taken a stand that I have to manage the marriage so what is the need of getting into confronting mode. Many a times, divorce crossed my mind but I could not gather the courage. Then tried to manage the situation by agreeing to everything and not sharing my opinions. I feel the home is like a prison. I feel uncomfortable when she is around me. I used to be a very social and jovial personality. Now people say I don't talk that much, the wittiness I had has vanished. I used to sing, record my own songs, take part in cultural events and activities. But now all gone. What ever I speak when we meet at family and friends get together, there is a complete postmortem of every sentence and intent. My elder son now says that I should keep my foot down. I am pushed to pass on all my salary to my wife's account and then have to ask her for any spends that I do. Over and above that every spend for her is un-necessary. I have multiple times tried to talk to her.. she says 'Whatever you say, I will not agree and you know that so don't waste your time in convincing me rather change yourself and do what I am saying'. It is becoming vicious and taking a toll on my energy. I feel like staying out of the house. But when around friends she behaves nicely.. Don't have answers. I want to take her to councellor so as we both can get advise. But she says, change yourself we will be happy. I am not going to change. I mean I am not asking her to change, but just be emphathatic. Am I asking for too much. I also agree that I may have flaws I am no perfect but no one is, why then am I looked upon to be a perfect person? V
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is a difficult situation to be around someone who has issues with anger and in this case it's your wife!
Anger is just a call or cry for help. Have you seen a child display anger and throw his/her toys around just to get their mother's attention?
Now, what is it that you wife lacks is something only you will know. She feels a certain lack in her life.
It could be lack of achievement, lack of self-worth, lack of a healthy self-esteem, lack of healthy nutrients in the body, lack of good quality sleep, lack of useful social environment.

I also believe what and who we surround ourselves with will define how our day goes and how our life will pan out. Now, because she fails to see the role of a counselor, you are forced to work at this on your own. So, start by trying to find out:
- what area of lack is she in?
- what triggers her anger episodes?
- how does she come out of these episodes?
- are the people/friends around her very different from her value systems?
- when was the last time she had a general check-up to see if all the health parameters are good?
- how actively has she pursued a career or a hobby?
- how many hours of sleep does she get?
- does she eat nutritious food that's meant for her age?

Since you are on your own with this, get deeper into this; I do agree your feelings are on the back-burner BUT till you sort this, it's going to haunt you. Sometimes the display of anger is much bigger that forces us to believe that the problem is a big one. It could just be a simple cause...Only when you try to identify it, will you know how and what it is.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7827 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
Plz suggest pec civil or production
Ans: Punjab Engineering College’s Civil Engineering and Production & Industrial Engineering programs are both NBA-accredited and taught by predominantly PhD-qualified faculty. Civil offers 110 seats, with labs in Structural Analysis, Geotechnical Engineering, Environmental Systems, Surveying, and Transportation, and industry tie-ups with CPWD, IRCON, and L&T. Production enrolls 40 students, featuring advanced Manufacturing, Automation, Robotics, Quality Control, and Six Sigma labs, plus a Siemens-funded Centre of Excellence. Over the last three years, Civil placements averaged ~36% (29–43 offers against 83–104 eligible), while Production saw ~76% conversion (23–36 offers from 26–46 eligible) with 88–90% internship conversion into job offers. Both branches share an average package of ?15.97 LPA and mandate six-month internships. Civil graduates enter construction, infrastructure, and consultancy roles, whereas Production alumni secure manufacturing, operations, and process-engineering positions.

Recommendation:
Given its superior placement consistency (76% vs. 36%), robust manufacturing labs, and stronger industry-internship pipelines, choose Production & Industrial Engineering at PEC. Opt for Civil Engineering only if your interests lie specifically in core infrastructure and environmental projects. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7827 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

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Which type of questions are came in AIIMS Paramedical exam and what is its paper level ?
Ans: Kirti, The AIIMS Paramedical entrance is a 90-minute, computer-based test comprising 90 four-option MCQs across three mandatory sections—Physics (30 questions), Chemistry (30 questions)—and one optional section (Biology or Mathematics, 30 questions) depending on course eligibility. Each correct response earns +1 mark and each incorrect answer incurs –? mark, with no penalty for unattempted questions. The paper’s overall difficulty is moderate, blending straightforward NCERT-level questions with application-based items in Mechanics, Thermodynamics, Organic Chemistry, and Human Physiology; a few questions demand deeper conceptual clarity but none exceed Class 12 standards.

A successful six-week preparation plan includes:

Syllabus mapping: Download AIIMS paramedical syllabus from aiims.edu and list all Class 11–12 NCERT topics in Physics, Chemistry, Biology/Mathematics.

Concept reinforcement: Strengthen fundamentals via NCERT textbooks; cover each topic thoroughly before moving on.

Targeted practice: Solve 200+ previous years’ AIIMS Paramedical MCQs to familiarize with question framing and moderate difficulty.

Mock testing: From week 2, take one full-length simulated test weekly, increasing to three tests per week in the final fortnight; analyse errors and time spent per section.

Sectional drills: Dedicate two days each week exclusively to Physics and Chemistry problem-solving, one day to Biology/Mathematics, and review one full syllabus revision weekly.

Revision aids: Create concise formula sheets and concept charts; use flashcards for definitions in Biology and key reactions in Chemistry.

Time management: Practice sectional time allocation—30 minutes per section—maintaining 1 minute per question with 10–15 minutes at end for review.

Peer discussion: Join online study groups or local discussion forums to clarify doubts and exchange memory-based questions.

Final recommendation To excel, maintain consistent daily study (5–6 hours), prioritise NCERT mastery and mock-test analysis, and focus on high-yield topics like Kinematics, Biomolecules, Electrostatics, and Human Physiology. Continuous self-assessment and targeted revision will solidify concepts and build exam confidence. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7827 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
Hello sir, My son get iit bombay material eng in 3rd round of josaa. He may get admission in DAIICT in ICT. Which one is best to finalize
Ans: Harsh Sir, IT Bombay’s B.Tech in Metallurgical Engineering and Materials Science is ranked #3 by NIRF and delivered by PhD-qualified faculty in a department equipped with central and FIST facilities—OIM & Texture, X-Ray, Nanoindenter, TEM prep, Scanning Probe Microscopy, Hyperflash thermal analysis, dual vacuum SEM, and an HPC cluster—on a 500-acre Powai campus. Accredited by AICTE, NBA, and with NAAC recognition, the program recorded a 70.37% batch placement rate in 2024 through core recruiters like Intel, Qualcomm, and L&T. DA-IICT’s B.Tech in Information and Communication Technology holds NAAC A+ accreditation, UGC approval, and operates a 1:1 computing infrastructure—including a five-node GPU-enabled HPC cluster, 1 Gbps campus LAN, 1,300+ desktops, 30 servers, and 22 teaching plus 11 research labs (Electronics, DSP, CS, HPC, IoT, VLSI)—supported by PhD faculty and industry-seasoned instructors. Over the past three years, 80–90% of ICT graduates secured placements via 120+ recruiters such as Google, Amazon, and Microsoft, with 390+ offers in 2024 and strong internship-to-offer conversion.

Recommendation: Weighing premier brand value, specialized materials labs, and solid core-engineering placements at IIT Bombay, finalize IIT Bombay Materials Engineering for long-term research and industry roles. Opt for DA-IICT ICT only if interdisciplinary ICT training, cutting-edge computing infrastructure, and its higher placement consistency (80–90%) align more closely with immediate software and communication technology goals. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7827 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 04, 2025

Career
Namaste Sir, I am getting admissions in IIIT Bangalore Ai ds and in IIT Goa CSE. Can you please tell which one is better Sir?
Ans: IIIT Bangalore’s four-year B.Tech in Artificial Intelligence and Data Science is NBA- and NAAC-accredited, led by PhD-qualified faculty, and supported by over a dozen specialized AI/ML, vision, NLP, robotics, and data-science labs including the Scalable Data Science and AI (ScaDS.ai) Lab. The institute achieved near-100% placement rates in 2025 with 638 job offers and an average package of INR 37.01 LPA. IIT Goa’s B.Tech CSE is NAAC- and NBA-accredited, delivered by research-active faculty in AI, systems, and algorithms, and features modern computing, cybersecurity, and network labs alongside a high-performance computing cluster. Its 2024 placement rate was 90.7% for B.Tech, with a median package of INR 13 LPA and top recruiters such as Amazon and Microsoft. Both institutes hold strong industry tie-ups and active career cells. IIIT Bangalore offers a more intensive AI-centric curriculum with superior placement consistency and higher average packages, whereas IIT Goa provides a broader CSE foundation with solid research collaborations in a government-funded IIT environment.

recommendation:
For highest placement consistency, specialized AI & data-science training, and cutting-edge labs, choose IIIT Bangalore AI & DS. If you prefer a traditional CSE pathway within an IIT’s broader research ecosystem and solid government backing, opt for IIT Goa CSE. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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