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Love Guru   |217 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 26, 2025

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Relationship

Hello I have terrible stress due not having proper job and marriage getting delayed .what need to do on this situation

Ans: You will have worse stress if you enter into a marriage in haste! I know of enough people who settled for the first person who came along because all their other friends had settled down and they felt left behind — all ended in divorce! Focus on your career first, settle into it well and then think of wedding bells!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am 42 yrs old male. I am a Public Health Professional and work in an International NGO on health issues based in Delhi. I have ageing parents (both suffering from cardiac illness, diabetes and hypertension) which are based in Mumbai, my immediate family (wife and two kids) stays with my parents as there is no one else to take care of them. My parents especially my father is adamant that he doesn’t want to leave his house and stay with me in Delhi. As a result my immediate family is also forced to stay in Mumbai taking care of my parents. My wife is very supportive, however as this situation is like this since last 4-5 years and we are staying in two different cities, it has now taking stall at emotionally and physically on both of us (me, my wife and my two kids). I am desperately searching for job in Mumbai, however in my sector there are not very good opportunities in Mumbai. I tried my hands in two there places for job, however to my misfortune things didnt work out. I am a mid-senior level professional and have reached this position after a lot of hard work, however the stress has started affecting my performance and overall reputation in the organization. Hence there is constant stress of performance, ability to deliver, overall situation has lowered my confidence level affecting my work further. Dissatisfied with my work, my supervisor has already started sidelining me. I am desperately started thinking of leaving the job, however financial condition doesn’t allow me to do that. With COVID-19 pandemic things has worsened, as I am stuck in Delhi even in lockdown, leaving my parents and my wife struggling in Mumbai amidst the lockdown. Even now cant visit them as stressed, whether i will carry risk of infection to my parents, wife and kids, Hence staying away, it’s been 8 months that have not met them. Not sure, how to handle this. One way I thought as looking out opportunities in Mumbai, even if at junior level, However i am trying for that, but not getting suitable opportunities. Not sure, how to handle the pressures from family (Parents don't want to shift, wife is not ready to stay away and has given time till March, there constant pressure of performance). Not sure, what to do.
Ans: Dear S, surely, this pandemic has put many at inconvenience in different ways for each of us across the planet.

What we can do is make the best of what is at this point in time. It indeed is hard to be away from family at a time like this.

I know parents in some families do find it hard adjusting to a new city at their age and having your wife care for them as logical as the decision was has begun to take a toll on the family as a whole.

It is an amazing feeling to come back home to a family after a hard day’s work where they wait with love, care and support.

Either a job in Mumbai or moving your family to Delhi are the options as it is evident that family and their love is important for you to have the security and stability.

Having said this, Lockdown 5.0 begins soon, I think fearlessly take a call, visit your family.

If you think you want to isolate yourself in the fear of COVID-10, do so…but more that all of this, do sit down as a family, COMMUNICATE, talk to your parents about how this is affecting you and obviously they care and love you enough to hear your side of the story.

And finally, do what needs to be done to make sure that your parents understand and are taken care of and your wife and children are with you as a family.

Happy decision making and be happy!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 29, 2023

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Relationship
Maam sir good morn.I m K.S .i am.the sole bread earner of my.family .i m 52 and do.not have a job. I m not a spend thrift but due to lot of loans i have taken for education etc i m totally stressed up. I.get depressed and do not have the motivation to move ahead in life. I want to clear up all my dues and i fight day in and day out to find a job but to.no success. Finance are getting.lesser.. I m on the verge of breakdown. Plz help.
Ans: Dear KS,
First things first. A lot of decisions have gone wrong. It cannot be erased, but certainly you must find a way of recovering from it.
Yes, it is highly disheartening, but once you decide that you want to be in a better place, you have to take certain actions to reach that better place.
So, time to quit being upset and taking firm actions on what to do next to get out of this situation that you are in.
Seek the help of someone within your family or friends circle who is strong with their finances and managing their monies well. Of course, they must be someone you trust as well. Share everything with them (you need the help, so kindly be truthful and honest with them).
Let them put together a plan of action that manages your existing financial resources and inbound channels and match that with all the payments and debts.
Allow them to 'advise' you as you need this strong advice right now. Discuss what's possible and what's not and they will come up with something that is close to perfect.
Once, you start with the first small baby step. things start to look up. Even clearing a small debt will take a load off your chest. So, get into that action mode NOW. And yes, do promise yourself that this situation is teaching you a lesson on how to be financially prudent and that you will learn from it.

Best wishes and look bright and happy NOW!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11156 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 26, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2026Hindi
Money
I am 41, earning 1.6L/month, dependent family with a kid of 9 years. Home loan of 43L, emi 50k + 10 k part payment every month. SIP : 33k/month accumulated to 12 L Shares : 25 L ESOP : 10 L MF : 15 L Expense : 50 k EPF 12k/month Corporate health insurance. No term insurance, as company sponsoring 50L term insurance. Kindly guide me any improvements in the current strategy and an approach for passive income which would turn into active after the corporate career .
Ans: You have built a strong base already. Your income, savings habit, and discipline in loan repayment are very good. With some fine-tuning, you can move from “stable” to “financially independent with choice”.

» Current Financial Position – Healthy but Slightly Unbalanced

Income vs expense gap is strong. You save well.
Good mix of assets: MF + shares + ESOP + EPF
Home loan is under control with part prepayment – this is a big positive
However, risk protection and asset allocation need correction

» Risk Protection – Immediate Gap

You are depending only on company term insurance (Rs 50L)
This is risky because it stops if you change job or lose job

You should:

Take a personal term insurance of at least Rs 1.5 to 2 Cr
Keep corporate cover as backup, not primary

Health insurance:

Corporate cover is good, but add a personal family floater policy
Reason: continuity after retirement or job change

» Emergency Fund – Must Improve

You have not mentioned a clear emergency fund
Your EMI + expense is ~Rs 1 lakh/month

You should:

Maintain at least 6 months = Rs 6 lakh in liquid form
Keep in savings + liquid mutual fund

» Asset Allocation – Needs Rebalancing
Your current structure:

Shares (Rs 25L) + ESOP (Rs 10L) = high company/market risk
MF (Rs 15L) + SIP (Rs 33k/month) = good
EPF = stable

Concern:

Too much concentration in equity and ESOP
ESOP risk is double – job + investment in same company

You should:

Gradually reduce ESOP exposure over time
Move that into diversified mutual funds
Keep equity but reduce concentration risk

» Loan Strategy – Good but Balance Needed

EMI Rs 50k + Rs 10k prepayment is disciplined

But:

Do not over-prioritise loan closure at the cost of investments

Balanced approach:

Continue EMI
Reduce part payment slightly if it affects investments
Equity over long term can give better growth than loan interest saved

» Investment Strategy – Strengthen for Goals
You are investing well, but need structure:

Separate investments by goals:
Child education (9 years left)
Retirement (15–20 years)
Continue SIP but:
Increase SIP by 5–10% every year
Focus on diversified, actively managed funds
Avoid over-exposure to direct stocks unless you track regularly

» Passive Income to Active Income Transition
This is where you need clarity now (very important stage)

Phase 1 – Build Passive Income

Grow MF corpus steadily
Add some debt allocation closer to retirement
Aim for income-generating corpus

Phase 2 – Convert to Semi-Active
Choose one path based on your interest:

Financial knowledge → advisory / consulting
Skill-based → teaching / coaching / freelance
Business → small scalable service

Key idea:

Start part-time before leaving job
Build income slowly for 3–5 years

» Retirement Direction – Early Planning Advantage

You are 41, so you have time
Your discipline is your biggest strength

You should:

Define retirement age clearly (say 55 or 60)
Build a corpus that can replace at least 70–80% of income
Gradually reduce risk 5–7 years before retirement

» Tax Efficiency Awareness

Continue using EPF as safe component
For mutual funds:
Hold long term to benefit from lower tax (above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%)
Avoid frequent churning

» Finally

Protect first (term + health insurance)
Build emergency fund
Reduce ESOP concentration risk
Keep investing consistently and increase yearly
Start building second income stream now, not later

If you follow this path, your shift from salary income to independent income will be smooth and stress-free.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

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