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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 19 and my parents force to marriage but didn't get married now so what to do now

Ans: Put your foot down. You’re really too young to marry. Finish your education and live life a little. Speak to your parents and work out when it will be acceptable for you to settle down. This isn’t the dark ages!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 20, 2024Hindi
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Hi mam.I am 20 yrs old. I got engaged by the forcing of parents. But I don't want to marry i want to continue my studies. Then what I do
Ans: The first thing you need to acknowledge is that your feelings are valid. It’s your life, and while your parents may have had good intentions in arranging this engagement, it’s crucial that you stand up for what’s right for you. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and entering into it when you’re not ready or when it conflicts with your goals can lead to long-term unhappiness, not only for you but also for the other person involved.

It’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your parents. I understand this can be intimidating, especially when they are the ones pressuring you, but they need to understand where you’re coming from. Explain that you deeply respect their wishes but that your heart and mind are focused on continuing your education. Share with them your aspirations and how marriage right now would prevent you from fulfilling those dreams.

When you approach this conversation, try to be calm and clear about your intentions. Sometimes parents need to hear more about why something is important to you in order to better understand your perspective. They may be acting out of concern or societal pressure, but once they see how determined and committed you are to your studies and your future, they may begin to see things differently.

If the conversation doesn’t go well the first time, don’t give up. You might need to have multiple discussions, and if you feel comfortable, involving a trusted family member who supports your goals could help make your case more compelling.

At the end of the day, it’s important to remember that your life’s direction should be in your hands. You deserve to pursue your education and dreams without being rushed into something you’re not ready for. If your parents truly want the best for you, they will eventually understand that supporting your education and your happiness is the most important thing.

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Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

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Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 02, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My married ex still texts me for comfort. Because of him, I am unable to move on. He makes me feel guilty by saying he got married out of family pressure. His dad is a cardiac patient and mom is being treated for cancer. He comforts me by saying he will get separated soon and we will get married because he only loves me. We have been in a relationship for 14 years and despite everything we tried, his parents refused to accept me, so he chose to get married to someone who understands our situation. I don't know when he will separate from his wife. She knows about us too but she comes from a traditional family. She also confirmed there is no physical intimacy between them. I trust him, but is it worth losing my youth for him? Honestly, I am worried and very confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how difficult it is to let go of a relationship you have built from scratch, but is it really how you want to continue? It really seems to be going nowhere. His parents are already in bad health and he married someone else for their happiness. Does it seem like he will be able to leave her? So many people’s happiness and lives depend on this one decision. I think it’s about time you and your BF have a clear conversation about the same. If he can’t give a proper timeline, please try to understand his situation. But also make sure he understands yours and maybe rethink this equation. It really isn’t healthy. You deserve a love you can have wholly, and not just in pieces, and in the shadows.

Hope this helps

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