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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi..I just saw your page and found this is the right page where I can get answer.. I am so confused and so my thoughts coming in my mind and noone in my life which I can tell. However, I found you hopefully you'll get my answer I want to marry with my partner but he is not earning as much and I'm also earning but we both started our career in 2023. And my parents wants I should get Marry with someone and he is searching. But I told my parents that I love someone but the issue is he is not from my caste that is not the big issue main issue is that my partner belongs from very nuclear family like his mother and sister is there and noone is there in his family and my parents also saying the boy is not earning a good salary and noone is there in his family how will you be happy and I don't think so he is good for you.. but my partner loves me so much he loves me till 6 years and he waited for me also. My question is that for getting a married is all this stuff matters ? My parents is arising so many questions somehow she denied..should I convince to my parents or they are saying right ??

Ans: The salary is not a problem, if he doesn’t have misplaced ego about his wife earning more than him; some men are broad-minded enough to even be proud of their wives earning more. Nor is caste; love has no fixed faith. But this nuclear family business is a red flag; I would strictly advice not living under the same roof with his mother and sister. There is bound to be friction. Then relations sour and your marriage gets strained. If he is willing to step out from under their shadow and live separately with you, and the money-making is not an issue for him, you’re making the right choice of partner. If either of the above is not realistic, I would suggest you stop trying to convince your parents and listen to what they have to say.
Asked on - Apr 16, 2024 | Not Answered yet
Thank you for your reply. My partner already cleared me after marriage we'll not live with mother and sister. And problem is that we are earning same salary but salary is very less due to some situations and he is giving full efforts to earn a good salary but problem is my parents is not happy they are saying he is not earning as much as he should. Family is very small how will you survive. But I really want to marry with my partner. I am so confused should I listen to my parents opinion and marry with someone else or try to convince my parents

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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
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Hie I need an advice about marriage, I am 28 years old and wants to marry a guy who is younger than me, however earns good salary. Also we are from different caste. I am afraid of having conversation about this with my parents and also I am confused that how to have this conversation with my parents. He loves me a lot and always support me. Also i got engaged with different person (arranged marriage), however that person broke the engagement and now I wont be able to trust and give chance to a new person to come into my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why exactly did you get engaged with someone else when you say that you are in love with another person?
I don't get this...Have the conversation with you parents stating clearly what you want. Yes, your parents will and might oppose it for whatever reason, but if you and the boy are serious, then pursue it...
Then where is the question of a new person coming and your trusting etc. From your email/letter, one thing is clear to me is that: you have no idea what you want. You love someone and say that you want to marry him and then you go and get engaged to someone else and now you are wondering if you can trust someone new.
What is going on? What happens to your 'guy'? Are you serious about that relationship at all?
I think you really need to first sit and have a conversation with yourself and then talk to your parents, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Madam i am 21 years old having a good post at central government as at erly age i got job and i joint it now i am 22 and having a boyfriend he is also central government officer and he is age 29 bu despite of the age gap the love bloomed and we are so in love with each other i told my family early tge condition and said that i want to marry him but my parents said after 25 we will ger u married but by sharing this at hone they are not having trust on mr and are being insecure and wants me to leave a government job and to come home because he is not from same caste and it will also be interstate marriage my family is having the fear of relatives and my mother us against of it they are saying intercaste marriage we will not support or accept continuously emotional blackmail to me trying to manipulate, brainwash me and abusing me emotionally verbally and physically. what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Inter-faith marriages are still a big NO NO in many homes and yours is not an exception. Like in many other cases, my suggestion has been that both sides must want to get to know the other person. Like your parents need to see a different side of your boyfriend to be willing to accept him.
What is it that he can bring in their daughter's life that will ease their concerns about his faith/religion?
So, your boyfriend must be willing to be patient and make efforts on his part to integrate into your family. It takes time, so be patient.
Now, for your job...do not confuse emotions and your job. Your parents feels that you might take drastic steps with your boyfriend and hence want you closer to home so that they can keep an eye on you. Address this concern by being mature and immersing yourself more into work that gives them the confidence that you are not about to do anything behind their back.
Addressing what bothers them is a better way out rather than trying to convince them...as the same issues will keep coming back if you force them to accept something. So, be patient and responsible for things to sort themselves out...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |353 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2025
Career
Sir I am feeling very uncertain about my career, i am very much interested in medical field, i gave my HS in 2024, this is my 1st drop for neet, i tried a lot but due to family issues and negativity i couldnot do well, neet is jst after 5days , but my syllabus not yet done, mock test are not good, but still i want to pursue medical field ans study in a government medical college, i know where my preparation was lagging{my class 11 12 were weak, those who taught me they all jst told m,e "u cant do anything " and leave and never used to teach properly but i did everything by my own , and then took drop but i how to prepare in a coaching class i didnt know all network isuues for almost 6months ,but i keep on doing and now i am standing in a uncertain phase where i still want to become a doctor, i dont have anproblem in studying those again but the problem is what others will say , its like a fear, as even though my parents enrolled in a coaching online previous year but they also sometimes used to say that i should have also enrolled i a college, its a fear, so my question is this path really for me? should i take a partial drop and go for neet 2026 too, {dob: 14/10/2005}.....i feel like hopeless , but still want to follow my dreams, is this possible?
Ans: Hi,

Before I address your query, please avoid mentioning your date of birth on social media; it's not necessary at this point. However, I noticed that some other details are missing.

In addition to the educational concerns, it seems like you may have a bit of a psychological issue in that you tend to worry excessively about others. This mentality is quite common in our country. Prior to the NEET exam, entry into the medical field, specifically for MBBS and BDS, was mainly reserved for aspirants with high marks. Additionally, those with significant wealth could gain admission through management quotas or at times via NRI quotas. However, the situation has changed completely after the introduction of NEET.

As you know, the major advantage of NEET is that the marks aspirants score in their HSC examinations are now less relevant. Candidates from any part of the country, of any category or state, and even those taking the exam for a second time can attempt NEET, regardless of their HSC performance. If aspirants have talent, they can succeed in NEET, which provides a standardized syllabus across the nation. So, even if you are currently struggling with your HSC studies, you can still perform well on the NEET.

Apart from percentile scores, various factors will influence admission, including community status, creamy or non-creamy layer, physical challenges, and more.

Therefore, NEET is the best solution for aspirants, and you can take the exam as many times as you need.

There are no barriers to preparing for the exam, so please go ahead.

You mentioned that you feel weak in the subject and have difficulty concentrating. I suggest starting yoga and meditation. By practicing these, you'll be able to relieve stress and work towards achieving your goals.

Regarding your desire to enter the medical field (I believe you want to become a doctor), is that correct?

If so, in addition to MBBS, there are other medical courses known as Indian Medicine, including BAMS, BHMS, BSMS, and BNYS. If you find MBBS challenging, consider focusing on these options as well. Many people have started to embrace Indian medicine after the COVID pandemic, so it’s not a problem at all.

Prepare for NEET 2025, analyze your situation, and send your details to the Rediffguru. We can discuss this further.

Wishing you all the best!
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |1197 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

Money
We are a Private Limited Company with an employee strength of 60, and we strictly follow all PF rules. As per the applicable salary criteria, we contribute to the Provident Fund wherever required. Recently, we discovered that an employee who joined our company two years ago has an existing UAN linked to their Aadhaar. However, at the time of joining, the employee declared in Form 11 that they did not have a PF account. Based on this declaration, we did not contribute to their PF account. Now, the employee states that they were unaware of their PF account, and the UAN linked to their Aadhaar is currently inactive. Furthermore, they do not wish to activate their PF account. Given this situation, should we present Form 11 as valid proof for non-contribution, or are there any corrective actions required to comply with PF regulations? Kindly guide us on the appropriate steps to take in this matter.
Ans: Hello;

If the organisation is such that EPFO laws are applicable and if employee 's salary is as per the threshold given by EPFO (15 K basic +DA) then you don't have an option to avoid EPF.

The EPFO commissioner may issue your organisation a show cause notice as to why the form-11 submitted by the employee was not scrutinized thoroughly when it was submitted.

You may furnish joint declaration in the prescribed format to correct the mistake in form 11 and deposit all employer employee contributions till date with penalty as decided by the EPF Commissioner.

Actually such willful suppression of facts by the employee, which bring the employer into legal issues, deserves termination.

Seek advice from a lawyer specializing in labour and EPF laws, if required.

Best wishes;

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