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Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Pushpa Question by Pushpa on Sep 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Im 33 year old married(9 years ago) with 2 kids.My husband expecting financial help from my father side. But my parents helped him lot now they were not in a position to help. We are 2 daughters to my parents but they helped me more than my younger (married) sister. Now im not asking my parents for help so my husband scolding me, n behaving differently because he having problems in his business. But he is not ready to ask his parents for help instead telling mevn my family selfish. What to do. How to ask financial help with my in -laws. They were greedy n don't have helping nature n doesn't care for us. They took all my husbands profit money. Now we don't have anything

Ans: Your family, who have helped him time and again, are selfish. And his family, who have never helped are…? Please ask him! You’re absolutely in the right here. Don’t back down. Why the hell should your parents keep throwing him a lifeline when they can’t afford it anymore? This nonsensical attitude of bending over backward to accommodate sons-in-law is prevalent only in India! Tell him straight up that they are not in a position to help and you’re not going to inconvenience their lives, he can ask his own parents for a change!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1526 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

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Relationship
Hello maam i am married since 18 years and since last 5 years my husband is not earning but my in laws are well to do me and my husband are in a relation where we end up quarrelling even if we have converstion of 2 mins i am financially independent and have son of 14 years but he is truely in influence of his father i dont have parents nor a sibling i dont know what to do i sometimes feel if i leave my husband and if i fail in my job than what about my future my age is 38 in all my surroundings i have seen all husband take care and responsiblity of their wife but my husband is totally self centered and the most pathetic thing is he does not even realize this please suggest what can be done
Ans: Dear Richa,
You are financially independent and any decision you take for your life will be based on that, right?
Who knows what the future hold and one can only be hopeful that all that is done in the present times yield a good result in future.
So, whatever decision you want to take, do that keeping what it is right now...also, have faith in your capability to earn and hold your head high BUT do give your marriage a fair chance considering your son may also get rattled by any harsh decision. Do you not feel that it is time to actually confront your husband. What is he planning on doing? Sitting and waiting for something to happen for him?
He has possibly got into a place where it is comfortable not to work and things happen around him for him and everyone else. So, there really is no need for him to lift a finger. Urge your in-laws to talk to him and drive some sense into him. If he still makes no move to get proactive and take on his part of responsibilities within the marriage, think about how long and how far you want to go with this. A bit of coaching/therapy can help, but only if he willing to see that it's needed for him. More than anything, I want you to have faith in yourself and play to your strengths.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: https://www.facebook.com/anukrish07/ AND https://www.linkedin.com/in/anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1526 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, My husband doing business. They are 2 sons to their parents. My husband is older one, both are married. We live in bengaluru n my in-laws live with younger son in native. They help is younger sin financially in all aspects like bought tractor to him n all. But my husband studied on loan n he paid installments. He gave all his pf money to his brother marriage. And after that during covid time give his profit from business(resigned job) to his parents for developing agricultural land. While doing job he took personal loan to construct home on native, n buy all the household things un his salary. Till today he only giving money to majority of things. Now my husband got some financial problems in his business so asked money with his parents, they are not ready to give. So he stopped asking them but asking me to ask my parents, what shall I do? My husband will give money to his family when he have money but keep distance when he don't have money. How to handle my in laws and his younger brother to stop them asking money from my husband. And how to take financial help from them.
Ans: Dear Pushpa,
What can you do? Stop giving money to people who can't appreciate that help. What has gone has probably gone. But from now on, please become prudent and say NO.
There will be a few arguments and your in laws and husband's brother maybe angry but you need to secure your financial position, right? You can't stop them from asking, but your husband can stop giving, yeah?
People will take advantage only when you allow them to do that...so, hopefully your husband can also see what's happening.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 39 and married for 11 years now, my husband doesn't support me financially at all. My salary is more than him but I bought house my own and paying all EMIS, looking for all household expenses and also paying school fees and other expenses for my son. My husband looks after only his parents, spend all money on them. Earlier we used to live together in inlaws house but they have spending habits for luxury, cloths, food etc even though my husband earns very less and my father in law retired with no income they were not ready to compromise on their spending habits. Whatever they had received after their retirement they entirety spent on their daughters marriages with no money left. When I got married they asked for my salary and used to give them. Mine and my husband salary was not enough for them so they sold house without informing me, I insisted them to buy at least small house but did not agree and kept on spending money on their lavish life, foreign trips, food, cloths etc. also helped daughters to buy house, maintenance and their childrens study. But did not let their son live life as ask him to pay rent for their house, household and maintenance expenses and they spend their money on their own luxury. They asked for my salary even though they have money and just spending for luxury and not even thinking for our future. When I denied to give salary, they asked me leave their house and made me difficult to live with them doing harrasment and taunts so I decided to leave and buy new house.Now I am living with my son separately, when my husband came to know about my new house he came to stay with us by not even paying single rupee to me. I asked him several time for money he only pays one or two thousand saying I don't have money at all to give you. Not taking care of son, his studies, school fees, do not help me in anything. My in laws keep doing his brain wash against me so that he will not support me financially or anyway. He always listens to his parents and sisters. There is no husband wife relationship at all between us. Not sure how to deal with it.
Ans: First, recognize and honor the strength it has taken to come this far. Buying a home, raising your son, and managing the weight of these challenges on your own are significant accomplishments that reflect your resilience and determination. That said, a marriage is meant to be a partnership, and it’s clear that your husband’s lack of financial contribution and emotional support has created an imbalance that’s unsustainable.

It’s important to look at the patterns in your relationship with clarity. Your husband’s decisions seem to be heavily influenced by his family, and this loyalty, while not inherently wrong, appears to come at the expense of his commitment to you and your shared responsibilities. The fact that he contributes so little financially and emotionally while benefiting from your efforts shows a lack of fairness and respect in the relationship. His parents’ behavior and expectations have added further strain, undermining your marriage and creating an environment of resentment.

You may want to consider having a clear and honest conversation with your husband. Express how his actions—or lack thereof—are impacting you and your son. Frame the conversation not as a confrontation but as a plea for understanding and change. However, if he remains unwilling to acknowledge or address these issues, it’s worth reflecting on what staying in this relationship means for your emotional well-being and future.

Seeking professional support, such as individual counseling, can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings, gain clarity, and develop strategies for managing this situation. A legal consultation might also be helpful to understand your rights and options, especially if you’re considering separation or seeking financial accountability from your husband for your son’s needs.

Above all, focus on what you need to feel secure, respected, and fulfilled—not just as a wife, but as a person. Your son is observing how you handle these challenges, and by prioritizing your well-being and standing up for fairness, you’re also modeling strength and self-respect for him. Whatever steps you decide to take, trust in your ability to make decisions that align with your dignity and values. You deserve a life where your efforts are met with partnership and mutual care.

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1526 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
As a concerned parent, I am deeply troubled by the recent tragic incident involving a Nepali student at KIIT. Given the reports of unrest and safety concerns, what can we as parents do to ensure the well-being of our children who study in other states? How can parents be assured that such incidents will be prevented in the future?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It has been a very disturbing incident indeed and as parents it can set off a string of thoughts on children's safety.
As parents what can be done is:
1. Reassure your child that whatever the situation, you are there for them! Just knowing this can ease them in terms of having an open channel of communication with you.
2. Also, being in touch with them not just out of worry BUT to genuinely inspire them can keep them in a motivated space.
3. A semblance of a schedule of visits from either side will ensure that they are always connected with family
4. Encouraging them to pursue cultural events/sports will give them a chance at being in larger groups so they never feel lonely or can't be singled out
5. If your child is someone who is quieter and prefers to be by themselves most times, have regular conversations with them.

There's only so much that you can do as a parent; but I firmly believe and have seen in my experiences while working with youngsters: The ones who have strong family support usually seem to most likely struggle less through these unknown challenges.
And one more thing: Tell them as often as you can: You are loved!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1526 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Pushpa

Pushpa R  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi
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Health
I’m a 60-year-old woman with stiff joints and limited flexibility. Can yoga help me improve my mobility and reduce joint pain?
Ans: Yes, yoga can help you improve mobility, reduce joint pain, and increase flexibility, even at 60. Gentle yoga movements, breathing exercises, and relaxation techniques can make your body feel lighter and more comfortable.

How Yoga Helps with Joint Pain & Stiffness
? Improves Blood Circulation – Keeps joints nourished and reduces stiffness.
? Enhances Flexibility – Slow, mindful stretches improve movement.
? Reduces Pain & Inflammation – Gentle yoga relieves pressure on the joints.
? Boosts Strength & Stability – Helps prevent falls and injuries.

Gentle Yoga Poses for Joint Mobility
Tadasana (Mountain Pose) – Improves posture and balance.
Pawanmuktasana (Joint Release Movements) – Simple hand, knee, and ankle rotations to reduce stiffness.
Marjaryasana-Bitilasana (Cat-Cow Pose) – Eases back and neck stiffness.
Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclined Butterfly Pose) – Opens the hips and relaxes the body.
Vrikshasana (Tree Pose, with support) – Strengthens legs and improves stability.
Pranayama (Breathing for Joint Health)
? Anulom Vilom (Alternate Nostril Breathing) – Improves oxygen flow and reduces stress.
? Bhramari (Humming Bee Breath) – Relaxes the nervous system.

Why Seek a Yoga Coach?
A coach ensures that you practice safely, avoiding strain on weak joints. With proper guidance, you can regain flexibility and move with ease! Start slow, listen to your body, and stay consistent.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2025Hindi
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Health
I’m a 31-year-old woman planning to start a family. Are there yoga practices that can help improve fertility and prepare my body for pregnancy?
Ans: Preparing your body for pregnancy through yoga is a wonderful way to enhance fertility, reduce stress, and create a balanced, healthy environment for conception.

Yoga Practices to Improve Fertility & Prepare for Pregnancy
1. Gentle Asanas to Boost Fertility
? Baddha Konasana (Butterfly Pose) – Improves blood circulation to the pelvic area and strengthens reproductive organs.
? Supta Baddha Konasana (Reclined Butterfly Pose) – Relaxes the body and enhances hormone balance.
? Bhujangasana (Cobra Pose) – Stimulates the ovaries and improves blood flow.
? Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Pose) – Helps regulate hormones and strengthens the lower back.
? Viparita Karani (Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose) – Reduces stress and improves circulation to the uterus.

2. Pranayama (Breathing Techniques)
? Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing) – Balances hormones and reduces stress.
? Bhramari Pranayama (Humming Bee Breath) – Calms the nervous system and improves reproductive health.

3. Lifestyle Tips for Fertility
Eat a nutrient-rich diet with fresh fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats.
Maintain a healthy sleep cycle (7-8 hours of rest).
Avoid stress – meditation and deep relaxation can help balance hormones.
Stay hydrated and engage in light physical activity daily.
Guidance Matters!
A yoga coach can create a customized plan based on your body’s needs, ensuring safe and effective practice. Stay consistent, keep a positive mindset, and trust your body’s natural ability to prepare for motherhood!

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |54 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 24, 2025Hindi
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Health
I’m a 25-year-old student feeling constantly fatigued and low on energy. How can yoga help me boost my energy levels and stay active?
Ans: Feeling constantly fatigued at 25 can be due to stress, poor posture, lack of movement, or irregular sleep patterns. Yoga can help by improving blood circulation, reducing stress, and balancing energy levels.

Here’s How Yoga Can Help You Stay Energized:
Start Your Day with Sun Salutations (Surya Namaskara)

Just 6-12 rounds of Surya Namaskara in the morning can wake up your body and improve blood flow.
Practice These Energy-Boosting Asanas:

Tadasana (Mountain Pose) – Improves posture and increases energy.
Bhujangasana (Cobra Pose) – Opens the chest and enhances oxygen intake.
Vrikshasana (Tree Pose) – Improves focus and mental clarity.
Setu Bandhasana (Bridge Pose) – Stimulates the nervous system and relieves fatigue.
Breathing Exercises (Pranayama) for Energy:

Bhastrika Pranayama (Bellows Breath) – Boosts oxygen supply and increases alertness.
Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing) – Balances energy levels and calms the mind.
Lifestyle Tips:

Get 7-8 hours of sleep for recovery.
Stay hydrated and eat a balanced diet rich in fresh fruits and vegetables.
Take short breaks and practice stretching to avoid sitting for long hours.
For the best results, learning from a yoga coach can help you personalize your practice. Stay consistent, and you’ll feel more energetic and focused in no time!

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1526 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a 30 year old working woman. I am pretty introvert and never have been in a relationship. Men have never approached me maybe because of my closed off nature. My mother has been constantly pressing me to look for a potential match for last 3-4 years. I have been trying dating apps and matrimony apps and have gone on a lot of dates but till now there has been no success. This entire process is taking a toll on me. When I say this to my mother she will not listen and instead keeps on searching for matches herself and make me go on dates which ultimately doesn't last since none of them seem to be compatible (mainly because of difference in family background, salary differences , values mismatch,etc). At this point I am confused. I do want to settle down for the sake of life long companionship but feel that things aren't working for me and sometimes my frustrations make me feel that I am good not married. What should I do in this case?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When the right person comes along, you will know it. Until then, enjoy the process without being too attached to the outcome. If something clicks, then it does...why fret over anything?
Your mother is just doing what she is out of love and concern; so, let her! By pushing her back it will only heighten her concern and it will come back to you in other unhealthy ways. Go along with it and just play the wait and watch game. A good way to convert your frustration into something more useful and light.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1196 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

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Career
My daughter is currently doing ICSE 10th and is performing very well in the class in Kochi. I would like to know what are the options of preparing for entrance exams such as KEAM and NEET without putting a strain or off-balance of her regular class work. What are options of attending online and offline coaching? What would be effective ? What are some good study materials ?..etc
Ans: Hello CJ
Here is the point-wise reply to your question: (1) To appear for KEAM or NEET, you have to take PCMB subjects in the 11th and 12th and appear for the respective entrance tests (2) If you are not interested in giving her stress then either she can prepare it via self-study or by joining any coaching classes (3) It is recommended to join offline classes and if your financial situation permits, then you can join any online classes only for "revision purpose". You should not remain dependent on online classes as they have huge drawbacks. (4) Related to the material, the concerned subject teacher will guide her. Yet it would be highly recommended to contact the recently passed students who cracked KEAM/NEET with high scores. Everybody referees different authors' books. But some of them are common for which your daughter can take the help. (5) Please keep in touch with the NTA website which offers free test series for NEET/JEE. (6) Ask her to focus on the interested subject either Bio or Maths. (7) Joining any coaching either offline or online mode does not carry a guarantee of success. One has to try himself. I hope, your daughter will also follow the same path of hard work to get success in either KEAM or NEET.
Best of luck to your daughter for her upcoming bright future.

If satisfied with the reply, pl like and follow me, else ask again.
Thanks
Radheshyam

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