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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi sir I am 50 years and My wife 43 years of age. For last 5 years her libido has deteriorated drastically. Nowadays she doesn't interested in sex anymore. But my urge is too much. In addition to that her menopausal period has just started. I don't know whether it is because of hormone imbalance or anything else. Pls suggest what to do to boost up her libido.

Ans: You need to visit a doctor, my friend; her gynaecologist may be able to help you, or refer you to a sex therapist.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Sir, I am 52 and my wife is 43. I have a ver strong sex drive and urge however my wife doesnt like it at all. Through we still have almost daily once (sometimes twice) sex. She is not at all interested in sex and seems she does not like it because of no foreplay / heavy weight (she is 80kg). I dont like to do it forcefully but have no choice as I cannot go outside or have extra marital affairs. How can I increase her interest?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sexual compatibility between couples if often a miracle. So, if there is a clear mismatch, there is also clearly a reason behind it. You stated it yourself: Lack of foreplay and your wife being overweight. So, take care of the foreplay part...what stops you from indulging in active foreplay that will get her going? There is no need to jump into the act and then complain about her not being interested in sex.
- Instead change course and pay attention to foreplay.
- Also, indulge in a lot of non-sexual forms of intimacy like cuddling, hugging etc that helps her connect with you at an emotional level and this could give way to the act.
- Pay her compliments and every once in a while surprise her with little gifts. It validates her presence and importance within the marriage.
The point that I am making is: shift focus on non-sexual intimacy first before jumping into the 'sex' part. You will see that, that bonding helps sexual compatibility.

The other part on her being overweight could also be a challenge as it can affect the way she perceives herself besides ill-health that can impact sex life greatly. Gently coax her into working out/exercising everyday with a good nutrition plan which will go a long way in not just physical fitness but an overall well-being in all areas of life. If it helps, the two of you can look at this together and make 'couple goals' to fitness and compatibility. It can keep both of you motivated and also encourage a good bond as well.

And oh! Please do not count the number of times you actually have sex. There's no competition and no medals awarded...Please bond better first...

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 08, 2024

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8911 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 13, 2025
Money
I'm 30 years old unmarried. I have 5L FD, 4L in savings, 25k Rd every month, 11k MF(w/step-up of 500 semi-annually), 20K quaterly in PPF 27k home loan emi, 10K saving additionally for collecting 6 months worth emi, 1.7L is monthly income. My home loan(joint) emi will go for 4 more years from now, after that siblings will take that. I want to have financial freedom as soon as possible but also build some assets of my own and travel. Please suggest a plan.
Ans: You are 30, unmarried, and already doing well. You are saving and investing thoughtfully. That is excellent. Let us build a 360?degree strategy covering wealth creation, financial freedom, travel, and goals of your own.

Current Snapshot
You are 30 and unmarried.

You have Rs.?5?lakh in FD and Rs.?4?lakh in savings.

You invest Rs.?25?k monthly in RD.

You run a mutual fund SIP of Rs.?11?k monthly with semi?annual Rs.?500 step?ups.

You invest Rs.?20?k quarterly (about Rs.?6.6?k monthly) in PPF.

Your joint home loan EMI is Rs.?27?k per month and ends in 4 years.

You save an extra Rs.?10?k monthly to build a 6?month EMI buffer.

Your total monthly income is Rs.?1.7?lakh.

You already display strong financial habits. Now let’s refine the plan for financial freedom, assets, and travel.

Emergency Fund & Liquidity
You have over 6 months’ expenses already covered.
Keep this buffer in a liquid mutual fund or sweep-in FD.
Convert some savings to liquid investment for slightly higher yield.
Maintain this fund to avoid disrupting long-term investments in a crisis.

Optimise Low-Yield Investments
Your RD yields low returns. Shift it gradually to growth-oriented but stable alternatives.
Consider debt or hybrid mutual funds that provide better returns with liquidity.
Phase out RD once your liquid fund is comfortable and step into better-performing assets.

Debt and Home Loan Strategy
Your home loan EMI of Rs.?27?k ends in 4 years.
Continue saving Rs.?10?k monthly towards an EMI buffer.
Once EMI ends, redirect EMI and buffer savings into your SIPs and goals.
If a lump sum or bonus comes, consider part-prepayment to lower interest and tenure.

PPF Contribution
Your quarterly contributions to PPF offer tax-free, safe returns.
Continue regular investments up to Rs.?1 lakh per financial year.
Keep PPF as your conservative investment pillar alongside equity SIPs.

Mutual Fund SIP Strategy
You currently invest Rs.?11?k monthly with step-ups.
Target increasing SIP to Rs.?25?k monthly over time.
Build a diversified allocation across fund categories: large-cap, flexi-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, ELSS, and balanced-advantage.
Maintain a mix that balances risk and growth appropriate for your age.

Why Avoid Direct and Index Funds
Direct funds lack guidance and portfolio review.
You might exit wrongly during market volatility.
Index funds follow index blindly and cannot protect against downturns.
Actively managed funds make strategic stock decisions and offer downside protection.
Opt for regular plans through CFP?affiliated MFDs for support.

Insurance Cover
Unmarried at 30, you still need personal cover:
Health insurance with a minimum Rs.?5–10 lakh sum insured is recommended.
If any debt continues after EMI ends, consider term life insurance of at least Rs.?1 crore to cover financial liabilities.
Avoid mixing insurance with investment through ULIP or traditional plans.

Goal-Based Investing: Travel & Asset Building
You want travel and building assets.
Allocate Rs.?5?k monthly to a travel fund in a 2–3 year time horizon via hybrid or short-term debt funds.
For personal assets (car, skills, etc.), allocate another Rs.?5?k to mid-term equity or hybrid funds with a 5–7 year horizon.
Use goal-based mapping to maintain your focus and avoid detours.

Passive Income and Financial Freedom
After EMI ends, the redirected Rs.?37?k monthly can power your passive income goals.
Continue SIPs to build across balanced and equity funds.
Over time, the portfolio can be adjusted toward hybrid or debt for regular income once it reaches sufficient size.
Consider skill-based side income streams aligned with your interests to boost freedom.

Review and Rebalance
Perform a disciplined review of your portfolio every 6 to 12 months with your CFP and MFD.
Assess fund performance, risk levels, and alignment with your goals.
Rebalance asset allocation to maintain your original risk profile.
Avoid frequent switching based on short-term trends—focus on long-term wealth creation.

Scaling Up SIPs Post-EMI
To build momentum:

Year 1: Gradually increase monthly SIP to Rs.?15–18?k

Year 2–3: Scale further to Rs.?25?k as disposable income grows and EMI stops

This step-up system adapts to your changing cash flow without burdening your budget.

Final Insights
Your financial discipline is commendable; keep it up

Strengthen emergency and liquid cushions first

Shift low-yield RD to growth-oriented funds

Maintain PPF for stability

Build diversified SIP portfolio through expert guidance

Avoid direct or index funds

Secure health cover and term insurance if debt remains

Plan for travel and assets with targeted funds

Aim to create passive income through SIPs and skills

Monitor and rebalance annually, not frequently

Your journey to financial freedom is well underway. With structure and consistency, you can achieve independence, travel goals, and build meaningful assets.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6238 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Career
I have gotten a seat at VIT Vellore in IT branch in cat 5. I also have a seat at NMIMS mumbai in CSE Data science. My COMEDK rank is 8348 which means I can get CSE in Dayanad sagar and Jss college in Bangalore and electrical in BMS college of engineering and in Ramaiah Institute of Technology, which choice is advisable
Ans: With COMEDK rank 8348, you have excellent prospects across multiple prestigious engineering institutions offering distinctly different career trajectories and placement outcomes. VIT Vellore IT demonstrates moderate placement performance with over 50% campus placements, highest package of 60 LPA, and average CTC around 12 LPA, supported by top recruiters including Bank of America and TCS Digital. The Category 5 fee structure amounts to approximately ?5 lakhs annually. NMIMS Mumbai CSE Data Science shows varied placement statistics with BTech achieving 62.4% placement rate in 2024, median package of ?7.70 LPA, though specific CSE Data Science branch statistics remain limited. COMEDK options present superior alternatives with your rank 8348 securing admission to Dayananda Sagar College Engineering CSE (cutoff 5873 in 2024) achieving 67.86% placement rate with 249 companies visiting, JSS Academy Bangalore CSE (cutoff range 11017-40173) demonstrating 73.2% placement rate with median package ?6.5 LPA, BMS College Engineering Electrical (cutoff 9150) maintaining 62% overall placement rate with median package ?9 LPA, and Ramaiah Institute Technology Electrical (cutoff 36441) showing 75% placement rate with median package ?8 LPA. Recommendation: Choose Dayananda Sagar College Engineering CSE for superior placement consistency, strong industry connections, optimal COMEDK rank utilization, and excellent career prospects in core computer science domain over other alternatives. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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