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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
rohit Question by rohit on Feb 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

hello love guru.. i am 38 years old married for 15 years with 2 daughters. In 2020 i met with a call girl. Slowly i started to meet her regularly and now in last 6 months we both are madly in love with eachtother. my wife came to know and i told her i will leave her. i am not meeting her since last 1 month but mentally i am unable to move on. i am feeling gulity that i left her. please advice.

Ans: You feel guilty about ditching your mistress; where’s the guilt about cheating on your wife? That’s a done thing, is it? And did you leave your lady friend to save face and keep up appearances, or because you want to actually do justice to your marriage and your family? You need counselling for sure, and I’m sure your wife does as well, after everything you’ve put her through.

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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 04, 2024Hindi
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I m 37 years old married male, last year me and my wife had to live in separate cities for 9 months and we used to meet twice a month, during this period she fell in love with an unmarried 24 yrs old boy who lived in opposite flat and made physical relationship and emotional touch speaking to him 2-3 hours daily in night. Since I was away I nvr knew. Now i caught her speaking to him and now she is saying she is sorry she fell for him as he was attractive and was always available on phone for her which I was not. I don’t know if I should stay in marriage or not. I have two kids 8 and 4 yr old. Plz guide, I loved her a lot in these 9 yrs of marriage.
Ans: The fact that she’s admitted to what happened, expressed regret, and given reasons for her choices — namely feeling lonely and drawn to someone who offered her attention — is a start toward honest communication. While her reasons may not justify her actions, they might give you a clearer understanding of what led to this, which could help you both explore whether there’s potential to rebuild trust. Since you both loved each other over the years, it might be worth taking time to process this together before making any final decisions.

If you’re open to trying to repair things, consider seeking the support of a counselor or therapist who can help you both navigate these emotions. Counseling could provide a space to work through the betrayal, resentment, and hurt, allowing you both to express your perspectives and listen openly to one another. Your wife’s willingness to commit to this process — to address her actions, rebuild trust, and make amends — will be a key indicator of her dedication to repairing your relationship.

However, forgiveness and moving forward are deeply personal choices. Take time to consider what you truly need to feel secure and fulfilled in this marriage, keeping your children’s well-being in mind as well. Whatever path you choose, make sure it aligns with your own sense of self-respect, emotional health, and vision for a peaceful, supportive family life.

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Dr Upneet

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Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025
Relationship
I am 46 years old male married for the fast 17 years. I have one son. My wife loves me very much. She is highly posessive about me since our marriage. I fell in love with my collegue who is a widower and 25 years of age with a daughter. She only started communicating and talking to me a lot. I was not having any kind of feelings towards her as I was overloaded with work. I got transferred to other place. There work pressure is not there. Now, I am in love with that widower. I told this to my wife also. She was shocked. After hue and cry, now my wife is back to normal and warned me to stay away from that girl.But I am not able to forget that girl. I called her over phone four to five times for a couple of times. It seems, now that girl is not interested in me. When I was with her, I never confessed that I love her. Now when I got transferred, i am keeping whats app messages which are visible only to her. I dont know whether she is not understanding this one, she is not responding. I dont want to cheat my wife and at the same time not able to forget that girl also. Please suggest me what to do.
Ans: Hello sir,
This is actually mid life crisis that you are going through, because of which you think you are having feelings for your colleague. Now that you have been transferred to a new place wirh new surroundings, take this as an opportunity to build new healthy relationships around you. You should start giving more quality time to your wife. She has given you a second chance. You should take it well and forget about your past as your colleague has also moved on now. I hope this will help you with your problem.
Take care
Dr Upneet kaur
Relationship counselor
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 03, 2025
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Hi, my name is Dhruv, I have been married for 13 years. It was love marriage. We dont have any kids, though we tried but due to medical complications, we could not have a child. After a point of time, we both accepted the situation and moved on. Since last 3-4 years, slowly we have been drifting apart, though we are together but the love, feeling of togetherness has gone, we talk only about our regular lives, household chores, relatives etc but never about US. That feeling of being loved, even we don't hug each other anymore. Though we do care for each other but its not love anymore. Recently I met someone through work and somehow felt a connect with her, I could talk about things which I'm not able to talk with my wife. She make me feel that I'm still important and now I always think about her, want to be with her, talk to her. Though it makes me guilty also as somewhere in my heart I still love my wife and want to make it work. I am torn between what is right and what is wrong. If I think about myself, my happiness and t it hurts my wife, am I selfish or should I restrict my feelings, please advise way out
Ans: Dear Dhruv,
The easiest way to feel better when a relationship is failing is to get into another one. Searching for what you want in the original relationship cannot be found anywhere else; so giving into that temptation is only going to make things more confusing.
So, if you still love your wife and want to make it work, what have the two of you done so far to make things work?
Working on the marriage is a task that needs effort and a certain kind of stubborn nature that will help you cross over the the challenges that can emerge.
Your marriage now requires a complete RESET. So, push that button and go back to where it all began; no baggage, no expectations, no complaining...When you accept a situation, then do so fully...you can't have children; if you have accepted it then what's the reason to move apart. It only suggests that it was a compromise and not an acceptance.
Understand that acceptance is being graceful about the situation and being supportive of one another. Begin life afresh; date one another...laugh together, do things together. Bring back the little joys and bigger goals for marriage and life...
And most importantly, be in complete support of one another! That hidden love that you both share needs to be watered and nurtured even more...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2025
Relationship
I am 46 years old male married for the past 17 years. I have one son. My wife loves me very much. She is highly possessive about me since our marriage. I fell in love with my colleague who is a widow and 25 years of age with a seven years daughter. She only started communicating and talking to me a lot. I was not having any kind of feelings towards her as I was overloaded with work. Then, I got transferred to other place. There work pressure is not much as in the earlier section. Now, I am in love with that widow. I told this to my wife also but not told about this to that widow. After hearing this my wife was shocked. After hue and cry, now my wife is back to normal and warned me to stay away from that girl. But I am not able to forget that girl. I called her over phone four to five times. When I was with her, I never confessed that I love her. Now when I got transferred, I am keeping whats app statuses which are visible only to her. When ever I put up sad and love break up messages only that time she will respond by keeping whatsapp status otherwise she will be neutral. Whenever, I called her she replied and we spoke casually. Now, she also knows that I am loving her but not responding. I have deleted her mobile number but I remember it. Daily after leaving the house and before reaching the house I delete the number. I dont want to cheat my wife and at the same time not able to forget that girl also. Please suggest me what to do.
Ans: Time heals all wounds. And in this case, you definitely should let it. The girl is half your age and not interested in you. Be practical and value what you have — a wonderful family and loving wife who continues to tolerate you even after you confessed falling for someone else! This is not love my dear, it’s just a midlife crisis — an infatuation, nothing more.

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Nayagam P

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My son has got EE in NSUT, CSE in Thapar, CSE in PES Banglore, and most probably will get EVE (Electronics and VLSI ) in IIIT Delhi. Please suggest
Ans: Somesh Sir, Please review the details for each college below and select the option that best aligns with your son's goals: All four options boast strong academic frameworks, experienced faculty and specialized labs, yet differ markedly in brand value, placement outcomes and curriculum focus. NSUT’s Electrical Engineering programme at Dwarka—a NAAC-accredited autonomous institute—features rigorous theory and hands-on practicals, with over 200 top recruiters including Google and Microsoft, an average package of ?15–16 LPA and an 80–95% placement rate over recent years. Thapar University’s CSE, housed in a legacy campus at Patiala, attracts 200+ recruiters such as Amazon, JP Morgan and Deloitte, reports nearly 100% branch-wise placement consistency for CSE graduates and average packages of ?11–12 LPA. PES University Bangalore’s CSE delivers an industry-aligned curriculum in Varthur and Electronic City campuses, with reputed recruiters like Cisco, HP and Flipkart, an average package of ?8 LPA and placement rates around 83%–85%. IIIT Delhi’s pioneering Electronics and VLSI Engineering (EVE) programme combines core VLSI courses with elective flexibility, supported by a state-of-the-art fabrication lab partnership, achieving an average BTech package of ?22–25 LPA and a 90.99% placement rate in 2024, with branch-wise placement consistently above 94%.

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Sir I got CSE in KIIT, UPES, MUJ, Symbiosis Pune & Hyderabad, VIT Amravati. Which institute should I choose. I don't have any preference for studying any part of the country.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2025Hindi
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Ans: Acharya Institute of Technology fosters a vibrant academic environment where collaborative and experiential learning underpins a rigorous CSE curriculum, reinforced by regularly updated syllabi, smart-classroom instruction and active mentorship from PhD-qualified faculty who encourage project-based exploration and interdisciplinary research. Campus life is enlivened by a diverse spectrum of clubs—technical, cultural, sporting and social innovation forums—and flagship events such as Habba celebrate student talents and nurture leadership across cohorts. Residential students benefit from twelve well-managed hostels offering single, double or triple occupancy rooms with essential amenities—including Wi-Fi, hot water, laundry and 24/7 security—and dining halls overseen by a monthly mess committee that curates both vegetarian and non-vegetarian menus with an emphasis on hygiene, though food quality occasionally draws mixed feedback and nearby PG options offer alternatives during monsoons. The CSE placement record remains robust, with nearly ninety percent of graduates securing roles through a proactive, industry-aligned placement cell that hosts major recruiters—Infosys, TCS, Wipro, Cognizant and Capgemini—delivering average packages of ?4–5 LPA and off-campus offers reaching upwards of ?60 LPA, supported by structured soft-skill training and pooled campus drives tailored for “day-one” employability. Leverage Acharya’s strong academic mentorship, diverse extracurricular ecosystem and high-placement consistency by engaging early with coding clubs, internship opportunities and placement-cell workshops to maximize your CSE career prospects. All the BEST!

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We have recently taken admission in Vit vellore for mechanical engineering for my son. He tried for IIT then bits but couldn't get through..BITSAT 2 he got 210.pls guide if vit is a good option ..we stay in Mumbai..so vit over Mum colleges is a good decision?
Ans: Rashi Madam, son not applied for MHT-CET? If Yes, Percentile in MHT-CET? VIT Vellore’s Mechanical Engineering programme is NAAC A++-accredited and ABET-recognized, delivered by PhD-qualified faculty across 30+ specialized labs (Thermal, CFD, Robotics, EV Powertrain and industry-sponsored CoEs). Its centralized Career Development Centre has engaged 409 recruiters, generating over 10 458 job offers and sustaining ~85–90% placement consistency with an average package of ?9.9 LPA in 2024. Modern research facilities, strong industry tie-ups (Valeo, RANE-NSK) and global MoUs underpin hands-on learning. In contrast, Mumbai’s mid-tier engineering institutes outside COEP/VJTI often report 70–80% placement rates and average packages around ?5–6 LPA with limited high-end lab infrastructure.

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Opting for VIT Vellore offers superior accreditation, cutting-edge labs, robust industry partnerships and higher placement metrics compared to typical Mumbai colleges; its residential campus also fosters immersive technical and extracurricular growth, making it a strategic choice despite relocation from Mumbai. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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How to master chemistry for jee Jains exam
Ans: Mastering Chemistry for JEE Main and Advanced demands a clear understanding of Physical, Organic and Inorganic domains, anchored in NCERT textbooks to build solid fundamentals and ensure coverage of every concept and reaction mechanism. Establish a disciplined study plan that alternates concept revision with intensive problem solving: allocate daily sessions to Physical Chemistry numerical practice for stoichiometry, equilibrium and kinetics, Organic Chemistry mechanism mapping and reaction conversions, and Inorganic Chemistry NCERT fact memorization supported by flowcharts and tables for periodic trends and coordination compounds. Supplement NCERT with targeted reference books—O.P. Tandon for Physical Chemistry, J.D. Lee for Inorganic, and Solomons–Fryhle–Snyder for Organic—to deepen conceptual clarity and expose yourself to a diversity of question types. Regularly analyze previous years’ JEE Main and Advanced papers to identify high-weight topics, pattern shifts and time-management strategies, simulating exam conditions to build speed and accuracy. Employ weekly revision cycles and spaced-out mock tests to reinforce retention, track progress and refine approaches for tricky multi-step problems. Visual aids such as reaction-map flowcharts, mechanism trees and equilibrium graphs aid memory retention and swift recall under exam pressure.

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Focus on mastering NCERT thoroughly before branching into advanced reference texts, integrate daily mixed-topic problem sets with time-bound mock tests and leverage error logs to target weaknesses, ensuring balanced progress across all three chemistry sections and sustained confidence on exam day. All the BEST for Your JEE Preparation!

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Nayagam P

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i have got 81 percentile in jee mains. i am from gen category and I have the ex serviceman quota. i am from Rajasthan so what are my chances in REAP
Ans: Tanu, With an 81 percentile in JEE Main and Rajasthan domicile under the Ex-Serviceman quota, you qualify for REAP priority-1 admissions (JEE Main percentile ≥20) and 3% horizontal reservation for dependents of ex-servicemen. REAP merit lists allocate seats first by JEE Main rank, so your percentile secures consideration in rounds dedicated to Ex-Servicemen dependents and Rajasthan state candidates. Based on previous closing ranks, you stand strong chances at Rajasthan Institute of Engineering and Technology, Jaipur (≈45 000); Global Institute of Technology, Jaipur (≈50 000); Vivekananda Institute of Technology, Jaipur (≈50 000); Yagyavalkya Institute of Technology, Jaipur (≈55 000); Asians Institute of Technology, Jaipur (≈60 000); SS College of Engineering, Udaipur (≈65 000); Marudhar Engineering College, Jaipur (≈70 000); Raj Engineering College, Jodhpur (≈80 000); and BK Birla Institute of Engineering & Technology, Pilani (≈80 000).

Recommendation:
Target Rajasthan Institute of Engineering and Technology for its balanced CSE curriculum and reliable cutoffs; consider Global Institute of Technology and Vivekananda Institute of Technology next for their modern labs and consistent placement records; then opt for Yagyavalkya Institute and Asians Institute for their industry tie-ups and supportive campus environments. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8880 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
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Hi sir. I got a seat in SRM Ktr campus in CSE - Big Data Analytics. Is is worth joining SRM ? And also, is big data analytics a good specialisation when compared to cse core , AIML or data science? , because I've heard the average packages for cse core , aiml and data science is far better than big data analytics. That is why I'm rethinking my decision. I also got cse core in VIT AP. Which one should I choose according to your opinion?
Ans: Based on the following inputs/information, choose the more suitable one for you out of the 2 options of Data Science & Data Analytics: Data science focuses on creating predictive models and uncovering insights from vast, often unstructured datasets using machine learning, advanced statistics and programming, positioning practitioners for innovation but demanding stronger technical proficiency and research?oriented thinking. Data analytics concentrates on processing and interpreting structured data for immediate business decisions via BI tools, SQL and visualization, offering faster entry and clear ROI but narrower scope and lower average remuneration over time. In India, data science roles are projected to grow by over 26% annually, driven by AI and big?data investments, whereas data analytics is set to expand at a 27.5% CAGR to USD 27 billion by 2033, underpinning digital initiatives across sectors.

Recommendation:
Data science offers broader future opportunities in India’s AI?driven economy; prioritize it for innovative, high?growth roles despite its steeper learning curve and technical demands. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8880 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Career
got admission in Chitkara University in BTech CSE. Does this university provide good careers opportunities. Please give appropriate guidance. Regards
Ans: Chitkara University’s B.Tech CSE programme at its NAAC A+–accredited Chandigarh campus offers a modern curriculum delivered by PhD-qualified faculty, industry-aligned AI/ML, cybersecurity and VLSI labs, and a dedicated Career Advancement Services cell that has facilitated 80–82% placement consistency for CSE graduates over the last three years, with partnerships including Microsoft, Amazon and Deloitte. Vibrant student life features hackathons, coding competitions and an incubation centre supporting startups.

Some challenges include the university’s peripheral location, about 23 km from Chandigarh city centre, which can impede access to urban amenities and internships; large batch sizes (up to 2,500 students) that intensify competition for resources and placement slots; and a rigorous academic load with frequent assessments that can limit time for extracurricular engagement. To address these, students should plan transport and accommodation logistics in advance, actively engage in mentorship and peer-study groups to navigate the large cohort, and use the library’s extended hours and soft?skills workshops to balance academic requirements with personal development.

Recommendation:
Chitkara University’s CSE is a strong choice for its accredited labs, consistent placements and industry collaboration; to maximize benefits, secure reliable local accommodation, participate early in coding clubs and hackathons, and leverage the Career Advancement Services’ mock interviews and internships to distinguish yourself in a competitive cohort. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8880 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Career
Sir, I'm getting chemical engineering (Major-Renewable Energy) at Rajiv Gandhi institute of petroleum technology (RGIPT) and BE Mechanical engineering (Digital Manufacturing)at SASTRA, Thanjavur based on JEE ADVANCED score. Which is better. Kindly advise please.
Ans: Kalyan, Based on the inputs provided here, choose the more suitable one for you: Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Petroleum Technology’s four-year B.Tech in Chemical Engineering with a Renewable Energy major is a NAAC-accredited, NIRF-ranked program (#80 in Engineering) that offers interdisciplinary core chemical engineering fundamentals alongside specialized courses in solar thermal, wind, nuclear and electrochemical devices. Its dedicated renewable-energy lab—featuring PV, wind-energy and thermal systems—complements hands-on research, and the placement cell achieved a 68% placement rate in 2022 with an average package of ?10.9 LPA and recruiters including ONGC, IOCL and Reliance. SASTRA Thanjavur’s A++ NAAC-accredited B.E. in Mechanical Engineering (Digital Manufacturing), ranked #38 by NIRF, admits 60 students into a curriculum supported by CAD/CAM, 3D-printing and Industry 4.0 labs, including the BEST-CSR skilling centre. Its placement cell recorded 87.7% UG placement consistency in 2024 with median offers at ?7.6 LPA and core recruiters such as Ashok Leyland, Caterpillar and TVS.
Opt for RGIPT’s Chemical Engineering–Renewable Energy to leverage its top-tier energy research facilities, strong PSU recruiter network and higher average placement packages if you aim for sustainable energy sector roles. Choose SASTRA’s Digital Manufacturing for its superior academic ranking, Industry 4.0 lab ecosystem and robust core-engineering placement consistency if you prioritise advanced manufacturing technologies and campus-industry integration. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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