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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Bunny Question by Bunny on Mar 30, 2025
Relationship

My husband is beating me and he don't care about me and my children and harassed me I want divorce but he was not accepting we made love marriage and we not have marriage certificate and pics of marriage

Ans: Dear Bunny,
If you are able to hire a lawyer to take your case, please do so... If not, take the help of any NGO in your area that deals with domestic violence. They will help you take the case to the police and do the needful.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 27, 2023

Listen
Mam, I am married for 13 yrs and it was a love marriage. We have 2 kids. My husband is less supportive. I look after my kids, my work, home without help from him. Even when I work he does not bother to make tea or help with cooking. He would get angry and abuse physically for intimacy. For last few years he started drinking a lot and indulge in fight outside. He had 2 police cases against him. I came close to someone. I told my husband I want to separate, but instead he became abusive. I don't love him. I feel I am his sex slave just fulfilling his desire, if I won't do that he will quarrel, stop eating and harass me mentally. What should I do?
Ans: Dear P,
If a dear friend had come to you with the same problem, what would you have suggested to her?
Would you have asked her to continue with a person who's being inconsiderate?
Would you have not suggested to her that she might need to go into couples therapy?
Certainly, status quo isn't something that you would have advised her to be in especially when she's with someone who has had two police cases against him!
You are dealing with a person who has had a massive change in behavior. Did you not see these red flags earlier? No point digging the past...
Thers is no need to submit to his tantrums and give into sex. He's using it to 'tame' you and make you meek.
Seek the help of someone strong within the family to talk to him...
Move out for a few days/weeks to gain your confidence back...if this is not possible, sleep in a separate room...if he pesters you for sex, look him firmly in the eye and say NO...
Have a dear friend/family member on speed dial...
The welfare of your children's is dependent on you; so to safeguard them, you need to care about yourself first!
You are not meek, do what you would have advised your friend.
All the best!

.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025
Relationship
Hi sir I don't know from where to start but it happened in this way ,I was from a reserved family with orthodox thinking.so I did love marriage in other caste (we were classes friends)after 17 years I am realising that my husband wants to dominate me ,he talk to me in bad way,he shouts on me ,he let me work but he ask money whenever he needs n pay me nothing. He trigger me in small thing, give me taunt n his mother n sister supports me .I am living in my mother in law house n I have two sons .This mental harassment is increasing day-by-day. He never paid for any of my expense.I m scared what to do to leave him n live my life or to live with him n ignore .what society will say .what to do I don't know. Feeling trapped pl suggest me what to do?
Ans: it's important to recognize that your well-being and safety, both emotional and physical, are paramount. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect or to live in an environment where they feel demeaned or controlled. The constant shouting, taunting, and lack of financial support are serious issues that should not be ignored, as they can significantly impact your mental health and sense of self-worth.

Your feelings of being trapped are compounded by societal expectations and the fear of judgment. However, it’s crucial to remember that society’s opinions should not dictate your happiness or well-being. Living in a situation where you’re constantly subjected to mental harassment can have long-term detrimental effects on your mental health and overall quality of life. It’s natural to fear what others might say, but your peace of mind and the well-being of your children should take precedence.

The support of your mother-in-law and sister-in-law is a positive aspect, but it seems that your husband’s behavior continues to be a source of distress. It’s essential to have a candid conversation with them about your feelings and explore whether they can help mediate or influence change in his behavior. However, if his actions persist and there’s no willingness on his part to change or seek help, you might need to seriously consider your options.

If you’re contemplating leaving, it’s important to plan carefully. This might include seeking legal advice to understand your rights, especially concerning your children and financial support. You could also consider reaching out to a counselor or support group for emotional guidance, as they can provide you with the strength and clarity to make decisions that are best for you and your sons.

Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave is deeply personal and should be made based on what you believe will bring you the most peace and stability. It’s not an easy choice, and it requires a lot of courage and self-reflection. Remember, prioritizing your well-being and creating a healthy environment for yourself and your children is not selfish—it’s necessary. Whatever path you choose, know that you have the right to seek happiness and to live a life free from harassment and control.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8333 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 12, 2025

Money
i wish to purchase new car i10, should i purchase the same through own money or should i take a vehicle loan from bank and the money own by my to be kept as FDR or liquid mutual fund
Ans: It’s a good sign that you’re thinking before buying a car. You’re not rushing into it. That shows maturity and smart thinking.

We will now evaluate own money vs vehicle loan — from every angle.

 

Understanding the Nature of a Car Purchase
A car is not an investment.

 

It is a consumption asset, not a growth asset.

 

It depreciates every year. Its value goes down, not up.

 

So the cheaper the total cost, the better for your wealth.

 

Option 1: Use Own Money Fully
Pros

No interest cost. You save on total expenses.

 

You are free from monthly EMI pressure.

 

Car becomes fully yours from day one.

 

No need to deal with bank, forms, hypothecation etc.

 

Cons

Your liquid money reduces.

 

You may not have enough cash for emergencies.

 

Opportunity loss if you had invested that money.

 

Option 2: Take Vehicle Loan & Keep Own Money in FDR or Liquid Mutual Fund
Let’s evaluate this with care.

Vehicle Loan Pros

You can preserve your savings for emergencies.

 

EMI can be budgeted monthly, if income is stable.

 

Some banks offer competitive interest rates.

 

Vehicle Loan Cons

You will pay interest on a depreciating item.

 

Loan adds to your monthly obligations.

 

You must pay insurance, EMI, fuel, and service together.

 

FDR and Liquid Mutual Funds give lower returns than loan cost.

 

So you will likely lose more in interest than you gain.

 

Let's Compare: Interest Rate vs Investment Return
Vehicle loan interest is usually 9% to 11% per year.

 

FDR gives around 6% to 7% before tax.

 

Liquid mutual funds give 6% to 7.5% on average.

 

So you pay more to the bank than you earn from investment.

 

Tax on interest or gains reduces actual return further.

 

This means taking a car loan and investing your own money leads to net loss.

 

Best Option for You: Smart Compromise Approach
Let me share a wise solution.

 

Don’t use full own money. Don’t take full loan either.

 

Instead, pay 70–80% from own funds.

 

Take a small car loan for the remaining 20–30% only.

 

This keeps EMI low and retains some liquidity.

 

You reduce interest cost and also keep Rs.50,000–Rs.1 lakh aside.

 

Park that in liquid fund for any urgent need.

 

Repay this small loan fast in 1–2 years.

 

Only Take a Car Loan If:
Your job income is stable.

 

You already have 3–6 months emergency fund ready.

 

You don’t have big loans running now.

 

You can pay EMI without affecting savings.

 

You commit to close the loan early.

 

Avoid This Mistake:
Never buy a more expensive car because loan makes it “feel affordable.”

 

Loan should not expand your car budget.

 

Whether you buy with loan or cash, pick a simple car within limits.

 

i10 is a wise, middle-ground choice. Good thought.

 

Tax Angle (If Business Use)
If you are using the car for business, vehicle loan interest may be tax-deductible.

 

But for personal use, there is no tax benefit.

 

So do not take loan just for imagined tax saving.

 

Final Insights
A car is a need, not an investment.

 

Using your own money fully keeps things simple and cheap.

 

Taking a full car loan and investing the money gives net negative return.

 

Best option is a split approach — pay major part from own funds.

 

Take small loan only if needed and close it early.

 

Always keep emergency money aside before buying.

 

Avoid emotional buying or overbudget cars.

 

Your financially balanced approach is very appreciable.

 

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
 
Chief Financial Planner,
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2025

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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