Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Arranged Marriage Pressure: Girlfriend's Family Ignoring My Job Prospects and Caste

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1576 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 01, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
solar Question by solar on Mar 27, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am in relationship with a girl for 6 year but now her parents almost fix her arrange marriage and they dont care about her choice they didnot even consider her opinion about the boy they met ..except her everyone in family like the boy because he is rich and handling his father business and here i am i dont have job i am preparing for government job i asked her family please give me some time i,ll get the job this year but they say we cant agree for the possibility of you getting job or not and her mother say we dont allow intercaste marriage i am sc and she is general and pandit .. i am 26year old what should i do .. i think ab uske parents jada jaldi krre hai shadi k loye because unhone merse baat krli to unko dhr hai ki m kuch esa vsa na krdu jisse unki society me respect vghra ko khtra hoga isliye or vo jada rishtedaro ki sunre hai... mne apni gf ko bola hai ki filhal jb tk job nhi lgti meri tb tk unhe boldo ki mere sath ab kuch nhi h that she blocks me or vo apni side se tb tk rishtey ko mna krti rhe pr uske ghr vale uska opinion about boy consider hi ni krre hai jo unke rishtedaro ne discuss krliya ladka thik h to unhone usko haan boldi ... mujhe kya krna chaiye...her parents do all emotional blackmail to her as today they even touched her feet and said hme pta h tere liye kya shi h hmne tko pala h kuch bhi esa nhi krdio jisse hmari ijat khrab hojaye m pagal hojaunga Esi dhamkiya dere h ... or usko b kse jo rishte are h unko mna kre jisse ye na lge ghr valo ko ki mere karan naa kre jare h or rishtedaro ka b dominance kse km kre bhot sare doubts h kya krna chaiye kuch nhi smjh ara h

Ans: Dear solar,
In sab ke beech, aapke girlfriend ka kya kehna hai? Woh aapne bataaya nahin. Kya woh apne parents ko tall sakegi aur kitni der kar paayegi? Kya woh aapke jon lagne tak intezzar karna chahti hai? Aisa lag raha hai ki is rishte ka wazan aap leke ghoom rake ho...thoda apne girlfriend ke saath baithkar plan kijiye taaki woh bhi aapke saath is samasya ka hal dhoond sake.
Ek baat toh hai ki uske parents ko manaana mushkil hoga aur jab tak aapki job nahin lagti woh is rishte ke liye raazi nahin honge. Toh plan yeh karna ki jab tak aapki naukri lage, tab tak aap dono is baat ko aur is samasaya ko aur uske parents ko kaise sambhalenge. Joh bhi ho saath mein milke plan karna.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Apr 01, 2025 | Not Answered yet
Maam usne bola m apna 100% deri hu pr mere parents meri ek baat nhi sunre vo agr bolti hai mujhe ladka pasand nhi h mujhe nhi krni shadi roti hai smjhati h bhot pr uske parents nhi sunte vo khte hai hne pta h tu us ladke ke liye na bolri hai (mere karan) … usne bhot try kiya pr uske parents ne fir be ladke valo ko haan krdi bina isse kuch b puche rishtedaro ne milkr decide krliya ki ladka bhot acha hai or amir b hai bhot … mujhe kya krna smjh ni ara m kuch b nhi kr skta hu ..m apne parents ko b nhi bta skta kyuki agr btaya b to vo b unse baat kis muh se krenge merpe job nhi hai or caste difference b hai.. hr taraf se mai looser hi hu..mne uske parents se ek baar baat ki thi usne hi krwayi thi mne unse ek sal ka tym manga ki is sal m exam clear krlunga mere exams july se September tk hai itna w8 krlo.. uske papa nhi mane or uski mother ne bola hm intercaste nhi allowed krte …

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am an SC and my gf is brahmin, we are in love for more than 2 years and decided to marry, i convinced my parents. But her parents are cruel in this aspect only, they threaten her of her life and threatens me to complain in police, And anyone can tell that this is wrong but as parents are willing to do anything for their children, same is true with their children, I am afraid if we include authorities things might turn bad especially with our parents. They threaten her of her life and killing themselves, can make her say no to me if we take it legally even though she doesn’t want to. I am financial independent (age 29) but she has spent her entire life (age 29) in her house, what can we do?
Ans: Right now, the most important thing is her safety. If her parents are threatening her life or their own, this is not just emotional blackmail—it’s a serious matter. You need to be very careful in handling this, as forcing a confrontation might make them act irrationally. The key is to ensure that she is safe and mentally strong enough to withstand their pressure.

Since she has never lived outside her home, she may feel emotionally trapped, making it easier for her parents to manipulate her. She needs support—emotionally and, if needed, physically—to make a decision based on what she truly wants, not out of fear. Talk to her about the worst-case scenarios and how she would handle them. Would she be able to leave if things got too dangerous? Does she have someone in her family or social circle who might support her?

If her safety is at risk, you may need to consider helping her get a temporary safe space where she can think clearly. It could be a trusted friend’s house, a working women’s hostel, or even reaching out to women’s rights organizations that help in cases like this.

Taking legal action is tricky in such cases, as coercion can make her parents force her into saying things she doesn’t mean. Instead of rushing into legal intervention, consider gathering evidence—texts, recordings (if legal in your region), or anything that proves coercion or threats. This will help if things escalate.

If you both are truly committed, then marriage under the Special Marriage Act can be an option, but only if she is mentally and emotionally prepared for the backlash. She will need to stand strong, and you both need to have a plan for what comes next. How will she deal with the emotional toll? Where will she stay after marriage? What if her parents try to contact her after marriage? These are tough questions, but answering them now will help you prepare.

You are not alone in this. Many couples have faced similar situations, and while it is heartbreaking, some have succeeded in making it through. The key is patience, emotional strength, and ensuring that no one is in immediate danger. Encourage her to speak to a counselor or someone she trusts who is neutral but supportive. If she is feeling overwhelmed, it’s important that she knows she has choices beyond what her parents are forcing upon her.

At the end of the day, love should not be a battle of survival, but sometimes, in societies like ours, it becomes one. Be strong, be careful, and take steps that ensure both of you are safe first—everything else can be figured out step by step.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |571 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am in relationship with a girl for 6 year but now her parents almost fix her arrange marriage and they dont care about her choice they didnot even consider her opinion about the boy they met ..except her everyone in family like the boy because he is rich and handling his father business and here i am i dont have job i am preparing for government job i asked her family please give me some time i,ll get the job this year but they say we cant agree for the possibility of you getting job or not and her mother say we dont allow intercaste marriage i am sc and she is general and pandit .. i am 26year old what should i do .. i think ab uske parents jada jaldi krre hai shadi k loye because unhone merse baat krli to unko dhr hai ki m kuch esa vsa na krdu jisse unki society me respect vghra ko khtra hoga isliye or vo jada rishtedaro ki sunre hai... mne apni gf ko bola hai ki filhal jb tk job nhi lgti meri tb tk unhe boldo ki mere sath ab kuch nhi h that she blocks me or vo apni side se tb tk rishtey ko mna krti rhe pr uske ghr vale uska opinion about boy consider hi ni krre hai jo unke rishtedaro ne discuss krliya ladka thik h to unhone usko haan boldi ... mujhe kya krna chaiye...her parents do all emotional blackmail to her as today they even touched her feet and said hme pta h tere liye kya shi h hmne tko pala h kuch bhi esa nhi krdio jisse hmari ijat khrab hojaye m pagal hojaunga
Ans: The real question here is not just about her parents—it's about her. If she truly wants to be with you, she needs to resist this marriage and make it clear that she does not consent. But if she is unable to stand up to them, then you need to ask yourself if you want to keep fighting for someone who is not fighting alongside you. Love is powerful, but it cannot survive if only one person is struggling to keep it alive.

Right now, you need to have an honest conversation with her. Ask her directly if she is ready to resist or if she is feeling too pressured to fight back. If she wants to be with you but is feeling trapped, you both need to find a way to delay or stop this marriage. But if she is already giving in to their pressure, then you need to start preparing yourself for the painful truth that she may not choose you in the end.

At the same time, focus on your own stability. Your career is not just about proving her family wrong—it is about securing your future and self-worth. No matter what happens with this relationship, you need to build a life where no one can ever make you feel like you are not good enough again. It is not easy to walk away from love, but sometimes, choosing yourself is the only way forward.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8189 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
Dear Sir, I am a 55-year-old corporate executive retiring by 2029. My corpus is as follows - PF = 45,00,000. PPF = 3200,000. NPS = 35,00,000 (with a monthly investment of 30k). Property = 4 crores. Shares + MF = 32,00,000 (with monthly investment of around 60,000). LIC = 14,00,000 (maturing next year). FDs = 36,00,000. Apart from the above, there would be Gratuity (15 lac) and jewellery. My 2 children would be needing around 25 lac for their education spread over the next 4 years. Can I take early retirement.
Ans: Your financial position is strong. You have built a solid corpus across multiple asset classes. Below is a detailed assessment of your readiness for early retirement.

Assessing Your Financial Position
Retirement is in 2029, meaning you have five more years of income and investments.

Your total corpus is well-diversified across PF, PPF, NPS, MFs, shares, FDs, and property.

You have a healthy investment habit with a Rs 60,000 monthly SIP and Rs 30,000 into NPS.

LIC maturity next year will provide Rs 14 lakh, adding to liquidity.

Gratuity of Rs 15 lakh will come at retirement, increasing your cash reserves.

Jewellery is additional wealth but is not an income-generating asset.

Financial Needs & Future Goals
1. Children’s Education – Rs 25 Lakh Needed in 4 Years
You need Rs 25 lakh over four years for education expenses.

Your FDs (Rs 36 lakh) can help cover this without disturbing your investments.

Consider a laddering approach for FDs to match the education payment timeline.

2. Regular Income Post-Retirement
Your NPS corpus (Rs 35 lakh) will generate a pension post-retirement.

EPF (Rs 45 lakh) and PPF (Rs 32 lakh) provide lump-sum retirement funds.

MFs & Shares (Rs 32 lakh) with Rs 60K SIP will continue to grow.

You have a strong base for passive income but need an income plan.

3. Healthcare & Emergency Fund
At 55 years, medical expenses will rise over time.

Ensure you have adequate health insurance for post-retirement years.

Keep at least Rs 15-20 lakh in liquid FDs or debt funds for emergencies.

Assessing Early Retirement Feasibility
1. Corpus Growth Over the Next 5 Years
Your existing investments + SIPs + NPS contributions will grow further.

With proper asset allocation, your corpus can cross Rs 5-6 crore in five years.

2. Inflation & Lifestyle Maintenance
Your current lifestyle expenses should be estimated.

Factor in inflation (6-7% per year) to assess long-term sustainability.

3. Investment Strategy for Stability
Shift some equity to balanced funds for stability closer to retirement.

Keep a mix of growth & conservative investments for steady returns.

Avoid full withdrawal of NPS—use a mix of systematic withdrawal & pension.

Final Insights
You have a strong corpus and are on track for retirement.

Continuing work for five more years will provide financial security.

Asset allocation adjustments will ensure income stability post-retirement.

Plan for rising medical costs & inflation for a stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8189 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2025

Listen
Money
Dear Sir, I am 59 years old salaried person, doing SIP Axis midcap @5K, Axis ESG @5K, Parag Parikh Flexicap @25K, Nippon Multicap @7.5K Nippon Smallcap@5K, SBI Smallcap @4K and Canara Smallcap @3K per month from last four years. The SIP is to be continued for another five years. In context of the present market volatility, will you please review my portfolio? I am not risk averse. Goal is wealth creation.
Ans: Your investment strategy is well-structured. You have a strong focus on wealth creation, and your portfolio reflects that. Below is a detailed review with recommendations.

Assessing Your Existing Portfolio
You have a well-diversified equity portfolio with mid-cap, small-cap, flexi-cap, ESG, and multicap funds.

The majority of your investments are in aggressive-growth categories.

Your risk-taking ability is clear from the allocation to small and mid-cap funds.

You have been investing consistently for four years, which is a good approach.

Your SIPs are planned for another five years, giving your investments time to grow.

Strengths of Your Portfolio
Growth Potential: Small and mid-cap funds have higher return potential over the long term.

Diversification: Investing across categories helps balance risk and return.

Flexibility: The flexi-cap and multicap funds allow fund managers to switch between market caps.

Consistency: Regular SIPs reduce the impact of market volatility.

Key Areas for Improvement
1. High Exposure to Small & Mid-Cap Funds
Your portfolio has a strong tilt towards small and mid-cap funds.

These funds can be volatile, especially in uncertain markets.

A slight reallocation towards large-cap funds can add stability.

2. Sector-Specific Risk in ESG Fund
ESG funds are theme-based and depend on specific regulatory and global trends.

This can lead to underperformance if ESG sectors face downturns.

Consider reducing exposure to ESG or tracking its performance closely.

3. Overlapping Investment Strategies
Some of your funds may have similar stock holdings, leading to duplication.

Too many funds in the same category do not always mean better diversification.

A focused approach with fewer but well-selected funds may work better.

Recommended Portfolio Adjustments
1. Reduce Small-Cap Exposure
You already have multiple small-cap funds.

Retaining one strong performer and reducing others can improve risk management.

The freed-up capital can be shifted to large-cap or balanced funds.

2. Increase Large-Cap Allocation
Large-cap funds provide stability and steady growth.

A 15-20% allocation in a strong large-cap fund can improve balance.

This will ensure that your portfolio withstands short-term market fluctuations.

3. Monitor ESG Fund Performance
ESG funds have a unique investment strategy.

If the performance is inconsistent, switching to a flexi-cap or multicap fund may be better.

Managing Market Volatility
SIP Continuation: Continue your SIPs as planned to benefit from rupee cost averaging.

Rebalancing: Adjust allocations annually based on market conditions.

Profit Booking: Consider partial withdrawals in strong market phases.

Taxation Considerations
Equity Mutual Funds: LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. STCG is taxed at 20%.

Reallocation Impact: Switching funds may lead to taxable capital gains.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals: Plan redemptions to minimize tax liability.

Final Insights
Your portfolio is well-structured for wealth creation.

Reducing small-cap exposure and adding large-cap stability can improve balance.

Regular monitoring and minor adjustments will keep your investments on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x