Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Worried parent seeks experienced family therapist in Bengaluru for son with ASD, ADHD & PD traits

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 18, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 15, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi Anu, My 24-year-old son (he is a Person-with-Benchmark-Disability with UDID registration) has mild ASD, Adult ADHD (leading to serious Executive Functioning Disorder) and a few PD traits causing significant difficulties in emotional regulation, impulsivity and perfectionism. They also cause serious relationship issues for him within our family (especially with the father probably as he is perceived as the authority figure to externalise blame on), in building and sustaining social relationships outside and so on, apart from many other challenges. You are aware far more than me:). He has been under medication and cognitive behavioural therapy for nearly 13 years now. Unfortunately he is not regular with medication. Frequency of ongoing online therapy sessions for the last few years has been once a week. The approach is therapeutic relationship building, and it seems to be working moderately well though the executive dysfunctionalities seriously interfere with his actual action-on-ground on the coping strategies / techniques / suggestions received or accepted. With all this, though difficult, he has managed his life well so far with support from family, school and so on. He is intellectually brilliant, a UGC scholar, published writer etc. At the moment he is preparing for his Masters admission. After a recent assessment, NIMHANS has recommended family therapy sessions for all of us. Can you suggest an experienced therapist in Bengaluru specialising in family therapy covering above issues who can undertake family therapy (online / offline)? His current therapist cannot take up family therapy as well for obvious reasons. Face-to-face sessions in NIMHANS is not feasible due to time and distance issues for each member of family. Also, he might be leaving Bengaluru soon for his Masters. TIA Regards

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly follow what NIMHANS has suggested. They know what they are saying and well, for the wellness of the family, each member must make it to the family therapy whenever sessions are scheduled. These sessions not only handle the challenge at hand but also guide each of you on how to communicate with one another in the face of challenges. So, my suggestion would be that you follow what NIMHANS has advised until the point that your son has to leave Bengaluru. A little bit of understanding within the family can go a long way on easing relationship dynamics within the family and also establish better between all of you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2023Hindi
Listen
Health
Hello Doctor, my 19 year old son is suffering from extreme mental health issues. *. He is not interested in studies, says he cannot concentrate at all. *. He is always sleeping. *.Don't want to attain college classes but need attendance to avoid debarred list. *. Just want to go to college for modelling in college fashion shows & college fests. *. Want to spend life like an page 3 celebrity. *. Don't want to write exams but still worried that he cannot clear his graduation. *. Not at all respectful to his Mom. *. Always worried to enhance his looks. *. Needs expensive new clothes & beauty products. *. Doesn't understand value of money at all. *. Has nothing in his mind about his future. *. Cries very easily. *. Thinks he cannot do anything. *. 0% household help or support from his side. *. Always confused, nothing remembers. *. Doesn't like visiting our native place & talking to relatives. There are still to many issues. I don't understand what I should do? Please help.
Ans: Pre-frontal cortex is part of the brain which helps us make responsible decision making. It gets fully developed by 25 years of age. Yours is developed and functioning and your boy's is in the process. Have faith, you have brought him up and he will mirror your actions, your words, the tone of voice soon. Adolescence stage a teen is looking to showcase his self-esteem and identity. Dressing up, looking a certain way is part of the routine and they love adventure. My suggestions: 1. Listen and then respond. Talk of things he does at college, ask him his dreams, help him set one goal at a time and help him to achieve them if he needs help. 2. Make visiting the native place an adventure: let him plan the journey, the time, the food to carry the presents to give everyone there. Even cajole him that he would be able to make some reels there and share with all. 3. Ask for help: be a human who has emotional needs, gets tired, needs help to finish house work. Your child would be seeing you as an established adult, who manages everything, and then imagine you are asking for help from him to do things at home. 4. Career counselling and meeting people from different professions will clear his mind to choose what he loves. 5. Attending college: Ask him about his favourite subjects, what he finds easy and difficult. Peer support and sitting with friends to revise helps to attend college. do encourage that.
Show your boy you love him but also demand from your son that he is responsible for his world. He is an adult in the eyes of law and his actions has a consequences. Money matters can be solved by giving him a fixed amount to run his week. There is a balance between discipline and respect, treat him like a young adult and not a child. You are a good parent, be kind to yourself and meet your friends too. Do revert with the progress!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear Doc., My Son falls under handicapped category. he is good in studies and intelligent. Has a postgraduate degree. because of his problem, he likes to stay aloof and stay at home, may be because of his hearing and speech problem. doesn't like to go out and any one visiting us. He is not using his intelligence in concrete work/ manner. Any kind of screen is his best time pass and remains irritated and angry. how to counsel him is our problem, because the moment we try to discuss about his progress, going to job etc. he disengages himself and goes away. please advise.
Ans: It sounds like your son may be struggling with some social and emotional challenges related to his hearing and speech problem, and it's understandable that this could impact his ability to communicate and socialize with others. As a psychologist, I would recommend the following suggestions to help counsel your son:

Validate his feelings: Let your son know that you understand that it can be difficult for him to navigate social situations with his hearing and speech challenges. Validate his feelings and reassure him that he is not alone in feeling this way.

Encourage social interaction: While your son may be comfortable at home, it's important to encourage him to interact with others outside of the home as well. This could be through community events, volunteering, or joining social groups for individuals with similar challenges. Gradually exposing him to new situations can help him build confidence and develop new skills.

Focus on strengths and interests: Encourage your son to pursue his interests and strengths, whether it's in academics, music, or any other area. This can help him develop a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Explore therapy options: Counseling or therapy can be an effective way for your son to work through his challenges and develop coping strategies. Consider exploring therapy options, such as speech therapy, social skills training, or cognitive-behavioral therapy, which can be tailored to meet his specific needs.

Use positive reinforcement: When your son makes progress, offer positive reinforcement and encouragement. Celebrate his accomplishments, even if they are small, to help build his confidence and motivation.

Remember, counseling and support is a process that takes time, patience, and persistence. Be sure to approach your son with empathy and understanding, and work together to develop a plan that supports his well-being and personal growth.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Child counselling - psychological and career guidance Background:- My son is soon going to enter his teen age in couple of months. I’m a widow with no assistance from both sides of the family. My sons been in boarding all along however last year I brought him back, took a career backseat Working from home, dedicating all my time todays him. Off late bad company at school is influencing him and has resulted into major issues pertaining to behaviour and disrespect towards teachers, other parents and me. He doesn’t feel guilty or acknowledge the fact that he needs to stop being a bully and be the sane kind caring child he use to be. Tried someone free counselling it back fired. Education grades are dropping and he’s got no inclination towards academics. He’s interested in things that can’t earn him a career option. He was in Igcse board and has to move him to cbse so struggling with school, curriculum, new area new friends and isn’t understanding the impact of his actions. Very concerned for his future cause everything I earn was and is invested in his boarding and schooling and I’ve not saved enough for the future. What to do next? He’s been identified with Attention deficiency when he was 8yrs just before lockdown but we didn’t pursue any treatment. My frustration too comes out on him and gets the worst of me but that’s pushed him even further away from me. He’s interested are physical and not Education inclined my friends suggest remove him from these expensive schools( paying 3.5lac minimum every year) and put him in a local school and just save for my future. I can’t be so selfish. I had put him in best school and selected subjects like French so that if he goes abroad a foreign language can help and he anyways struggles to even pass in Hindi and local languages so selected a school too so that his board exams eventually he will have to write only English and French exams that can help him score. After sacrificing my time health career and money I feel in these 6 months everything is going downhill my anxiety and stress has gone out of control. His friends are being a terrible influence and it’s scary cause I’ve had some major complaints from teachers and other parents. What do I do? I can’t give up I have faith and only hope it’s just a phase I’m still loving caring and trying to talk with him and understand where can we mend things before it’s late and hoping for some guidance
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is a difficult phase that you are going through...
It will be worth pulling him out of the school for a while...it's not just to save money but also to focus on his therapy that he surely needs to get into. Also, during his therapy, you will know where his interest lie...Do remember, we are all unique...some of us take up professions that may not give us immediate money but it trickles in later or maybe it comes in the form of satisfaction rather than money.
You are attempting to secure his future and you are right as a single mom to do that because you want your son to be in a stable place which you did not experience. But his path in life is his to follow...any attempt to control it will cause the two of you a lot of emotional upheavals.
Kindly get him assessed again as you did mention Attention Deficiency...that will allow for appropriate corrective measures right away which will channelize his energies in the right direction. Otherwise both you and he will be on a roller coaster ride that never stops and this will lead to more stress and strain. Pause for a moment and put his health as a priority even if it means taking a break from school for a while. The sooner his emotions find a useful path, he will shine in what he is meant to...Take a deep breath...you are doing a great job!

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 09, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Dear dr , my colleague is divorced 2 yrs back ,he is suffering from acute depression, his ex wife has not allowed her son to meet his father in last 2 yrs, as ex wife family is financial very strong they are not taking any monthly support from my colleague for his son.meanwhile son is 10 yr old and is brainwash that his father is not good ,so doesn't want to meet him. My colleague is getting more depressed and admitted for 1 month in hospital and got ECT therapy. Kindly guide ,what we can do so he xan meet his son once a week
Ans: dear Mohammad,
First, it might be helpful for your colleague to consult with a family lawyer who specializes in custody and visitation rights. Even if his ex-wife’s family is financially strong and not accepting support, your colleague likely still has legal rights to see his son. A lawyer can help him explore options like mediation or going back to court to request visitation rights. Since the child has been influenced against him, a court might consider a gradual reintroduction, possibly with the help of a therapist, to rebuild their relationship.

It could also be beneficial to involve a mental health professional who can provide guidance on how to handle this emotionally challenging situation. This professional can help your colleague manage his depression and support him in dealing with the stress related to his son.

As a friend or colleague, your support is invaluable. Encourage him to seek legal and psychological help and remind him that he’s not alone in this battle. Regular check-ins, even if just to listen, can make a big difference in his recovery.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8311 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2025
Money
Hi Sir, I have a property in Mumbai suburb (approx 40L) and its location is perfect near station, bus stop, heart of the city etc. It's very old around 36 years old. I have just inherited it and I am finishing the legal procedure of it. The monthly maintenance is increasing every year and we are still waiting for redevelopment to happen. I am housewife and require monthly income. We also have loans around 25 L. My husband is int IT field and I am German language expert. We have a son 3 years. Some are saying to give it on rent and some are saying to sell it off for repaying loans. Even if I sell it I would like to reinvest it somewhere for getting monthly income, preferably a property. I want a secure investment for meeting the requirements for my son's education as my husband's field is very volatile due to regular layoffs and stuff. Kindly guide
Ans: You have inherited a 36-year-old property worth around Rs 40 lakh.
You have Rs 25 lakh loans to repay.
You are a housewife but a German language expert, and your husband is in IT.
You want monthly income and secure future planning, especially for your son.

You have inherited a valuable property in Mumbai suburb.

You are completing the legal formalities rightly, which is very important.

You are thinking ahead for monthly income, child education, and loan repayment.

Very few people show this kind of foresight. You deserve appreciation.

Challenges You Are Facing Now

Property is old, around 36 years, and needs maintenance.

Maintenance charges are rising every year, increasing burden.

Redevelopment is uncertain and unpredictable.

You have Rs 25 lakh loans creating stress.

Husband's IT field is unstable due to layoffs.

You want a secure monthly income and financial stability.

Option 1: Giving Property on Rent

You can earn monthly rental income by renting it out.

Typical rent may be around Rs 8,000 to Rs 12,000 per month.

Rental yield will be hardly 2%-3% on Rs 40 lakh value.

This is very low compared to your needs and loan burden.

Maintenance charges, property tax, repairs will further reduce your income.

Vacancy risk is also there if tenants leave.

Overall, rental income may not fully support your financial goals.

Option 2: Selling the Property

Selling can give you around Rs 40 lakh.

You can immediately clear Rs 25 lakh loans.

After repaying loans, you will still have around Rs 15 lakh.

Loan closure will bring huge mental peace and cash flow freedom.

No more EMI burden means husband's salary can be saved better.

You can use balance Rs 15 lakh wisely to generate monthly income.

Important Insights on Redevelopment

Redevelopment can take 5-10 years easily.

Many projects get delayed due to disputes and permissions.

Till redevelopment happens, maintenance and repair costs rise.

You may have to stay invested without any income for long.

Your immediate needs for income and loan closure will not be solved.

Depending on redevelopment alone is very risky at this stage.

What You Should Ideally Do

Prefer selling the property now while market is still decent.

Clear all Rs 25 lakh loans fully and become completely debt-free.

Debt-free life is the biggest financial freedom you can gift your family.

With balance money, create a secure income plan.

Stay light without property burdens and maintenance worries.

Focus on building an education corpus for your son and retirement corpus.

Where to Invest After Selling

Do not buy another property immediately for investment.

Property rental yields are low, and liquidity is very poor.

Instead, create a mix of debt mutual funds and hybrid mutual funds.

These can give you monthly income using Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP).

This method protects your capital and gives you flexible monthly payouts.

Debt mutual funds can provide 6%-7% returns safely with low risk.

Balanced advantage funds can give 8%-10% returns over 3-5 years.

Always choose regular mutual fund plans through a MFD who is also a Certified Financial Planner.

Why Not Property for Reinvestment?

Property is illiquid; selling it again takes months or years.

Property has heavy costs like stamp duty, registration, brokerage, repairs.

Rentals are taxed fully as income, eating away returns.

If tenant defaults or property is vacant, you get zero income.

Maintaining property is a headache, especially in old buildings.

Mutual funds offer better flexibility, better tax-efficiency, and better liquidity.

Disadvantages of Direct Plans (Important for You to Know)

If you invest in direct mutual fund plans yourself, you miss expert guidance.

Wrong fund selection, wrong withdrawal rate can destroy your capital.

Regular plans through a CFP-backed MFD give proper fund selection and review.

Charges in regular plan are justified because it protects your long-term wealth.

Getting professional hand-holding is very important for your peace of mind.

Additional Steps You Must Take

Keep a separate emergency fund of Rs 3 lakh in liquid mutual funds.

Buy a good term insurance cover for husband (at least Rs 1 crore).

Ensure you have a good health insurance for the whole family.

Start a small SIP for your son’s education goal systematically.

Slowly explore freelancing as a German language expert to earn extra income.

Future Planning for Your Son

Education costs are rising 10%-12% every year in India.

For good education after 15 years, you will need a large corpus.

Start small SIPs in good mutual funds focused on child education.

Stay committed for long-term without withdrawals.

Education planning must be top priority after loan closure.

Final Insights

Renting out the old property will not solve your loan and income issues properly.

Selling the property now and clearing the loans is the better, safer step.

Remaining money should be invested wisely for monthly income generation.

Avoid buying new properties now. Focus on mutual fund income plans.

Build emergency reserves, insurance covers, and an education fund for your son.

Stay light, stay debt-free, and keep life flexible financially.

Your thinking is already mature. With correct action, your future will be very secure.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8311 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2025
Money
Could you tell me the ideal stock quantity for me as I am investing 10k in each stock and I get minimum 30 percent return so I am not happy with reward. FYI my portfolio is of 5 Lacks investing since 2017.
Ans: You have a Rs 5 lakh stock portfolio.
You are investing Rs 10,000 in each stock.
You are getting around 30% returns, but you are not fully happy.

Let me help you with detailed insights.

Appreciating Your Journey So Far

You started investing in 2017, which shows good discipline.

Growing the portfolio with regular Rs 10,000 investments is a smart habit.

Earning 30% returns is not bad, especially in Indian stock markets.

Many investors struggle even to beat inflation in long-term investing.

You deserve appreciation for steady progress and patience.

Understanding Your Concern

You want even better returns than 30%.

You feel Rs 10,000 in each stock is limiting your potential.

You are looking for an ideal number of stocks for higher growth.

Ideal Number of Stocks to Hold

If portfolio is Rs 5 lakh, then having 15 to 20 stocks is healthy.

Less than 10 stocks can make portfolio risky and unstable.

More than 25 stocks will dilute returns and weaken performance.

Around 18 stocks can give you good balance of safety and growth.

Each stock can ideally carry 4% to 7% weight in your portfolio.

Problems of Over-Diversification

Holding too many stocks reduces focus.

Monitoring all stocks becomes difficult.

Even if some stocks do well, overall portfolio may not reflect it.

Returns get pulled down when poor stocks dilute the strong ones.

Problems of Under-Diversification

Too few stocks increase risks sharply.

Bad performance of one stock hits portfolio badly.

Emotional decision making becomes harder.

Volatility can become scary during market falls.

Fine-Tuning Your Approach

Increase your per stock investment slightly to Rs 15,000 to Rs 20,000.

Focus on holding 15 to 20 strong companies across sectors.

Prioritise companies with strong balance sheet and consistent profits.

Look for companies with leadership in their industries.

Reduce churning of stocks; stay invested patiently.

Sector Allocation Guidance

Allocate across banking, FMCG, pharma, IT, auto, and energy sectors.

Avoid over-investing in one sector or theme.

Always maintain sector diversification for stability.

Reviewing Your Return Expectations

Expecting more than 30% return consistently can be risky.

Stock market returns move in cycles.

In good years, 40%-60% returns may happen.

In bad years, even negative returns can occur.

Long-term average return expectation should be around 12%-18%.

Identifying the Real Issue

30% growth is a strong outcome compared to bank FDs and debt funds.

If you feel unhappy, maybe it is because of high expectations.

Managing emotions is key to wealth creation.

Recommended Action Plan

Stick to around 18 focused high-quality stocks.

Increase amount slightly if you find very strong companies.

Focus on strong fundamentals, not just price movements.

Rebalance portfolio once in a year to maintain sector weight.

Invest fresh money slowly when good opportunities arise.

Additional Important Points

Don't take high risks to chase higher returns.

Wealth building is a marathon, not a sprint.

Stay disciplined and trust your process.

Consistency will reward you richly in next 5-10 years.

Final Insights

Holding around 15-20 carefully selected stocks is ideal for you.

Focus more on quality stocks than chasing return numbers.

Growing wealth steadily is more important than chasing quick profits.

Stay invested with a cool mind, and you will achieve great success.

Celebrate your discipline till now and keep improving step-by-step.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x