Teenage Girl: Can Introducing My Best Friend Improve Family Conflicts?

Ans:

Dear Aarav,

Your girlfriend may well be a good match for you and I’m happy you’re so taken with her, but I do think there are a few red flags here that you shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss.

First off -- whatever must be said to someone can be said nicely. There’s no need to rub people the wrong way with what you have to say.

Telling it like it is may be one thing but if most folks find her rude, then yes, she probably is rude.

It’s not nice to hurt someone’s feelings. You can be smart and unconventional and still polite.

Second, about the family angle. Maybe she doesn’t want to get overfamiliar with your relatives before things are official between the two of you.

You said yourself that you’re too young for marriage, and she probably doesn’t want pressure from all quarters, which can well be the norm in our society.

But why doesn’t she believe in family relationships?

If you’re more a family-oriented person and she’s more a loner who prefers things remaining between the two of you, that is another potential problem in future.

Work this out with her and do it sooner rather than later.

As the sheen wears off new romances, the seemingly smaller issues can take on magnified proportions.

 

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

You are not wrong; it is absolutely awkward if someone brings a plus one on the first date. As a matter of fact, it is weird if someone brings a plus one to any date, be it the first one or the last.

Whether she pulled this off because she isn't serious about you is debatable; it is also possible that she asked her best friend to tag along and assess you because she is serious or maybe because of previous mistakes, but even then, it isn't okay to bring a friend on a date, especially if that's something you two never agreed upon.

It’s best if you have a clear discussion about the same and let her know that you did not appreciate bringing her friend on your first date.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

First, let's focus on the positive. Your partner does not want to introduce you as a mere friend. She wants to show you off as her boyfriend. That's good news. Next, the fact that she only wants to introduce you after you get a job does not necessarily mean she isn't confident about you. It can easily mean that she wants to make the perfect first impression with her parents. It is quite possible that her parents will react negatively when they hear you don't have a job and she is doing this in the best interest of your relationship.

The best thing is to directly ask her. Do not assume the worst.

Best Wishes.

Ans: If you feel comfortable and the environment is open enough, sending a friend request could be a way to gently open up a line of communication without overstepping any boundaries. It allows her to accept at her own pace. After the friend request, you could start with light, respectful conversation to get to know her better, keeping it casual and non-intrusive. Asking to meet at a coffee shop is a good idea, but only if she seems comfortable engaging in that kind of interaction before things are officially finalized.

It’s essential to be patient and read the situation carefully. If you sense that she might prefer waiting for the official approval of the families, it might be wise to hold off on asking for a meetup until after the marriage is fixed. This would allow both families to feel more at ease and give you two more space to connect after the formalities.

Ultimately, it’s about balancing respect for tradition with your desire to build a connection. If she has shown openness, and you feel like she might appreciate the gesture, reaching out before the marriage is fixed could help both of you get to know each other in a more comfortable setting. But if you’re unsure, waiting the two weeks won’t hurt either.