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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 09, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 07, 2025
Relationship

My fiance and I used to be so close when we were dating. We used to talk for hours, cuddle, and laugh so much. We recently decided to move in so we could spend more time together. But now, even when we're together, it feels like we're just roommates. I miss that spark. Is this normal? And how do we bring it back without forcing it?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Familiarity breeds contempt! When you were dating and away from one another, there was a part of each of you that waited for the excitement of seeing one another again, surprising each other, laughing, talking...now, you live under one roof, obviously you did know that a bit of that fun and spark will go missing, didn't you?
Try to recreate the dating scene now...keep some space from each other to keep the mystery alive!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Rishta

Rishta Guru  | Answer  |Ask -

Rishta Guru - Answered on Feb 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
We have been married for two years and in loving relationship before that for two years. My problem is that the love has changed. My husband is no longer the same kind of romantic person. He loves me, he says I love you but the romance is missing. We both work and when we reach home all kinds of practical talks only happens. He is thoughtful, shares the housework, looks after all my needs but I really miss the romantic part that was there earlier and sometimes it makes me irritated and rude. I have tried telling him but he says love changes with time, we are married now and responsible for ourselves. My sister thinks I am being silly but I don’t agree. Why should we have to give up romance? Isn’t it an important part of our life?
Ans: Hi. I understand your frustration. It's completely natural to miss the early stage of romantic intensity in a long-term relationship.

And you're right, romance is an important part of a healthy marriage. It's perfectly valid to want to reignite that spark.

Here are some steps you can take to help your husband understand your concerns:

Communicate effectively

Focus on feelings, not accusations: Instead of saying "You're not romantic anymore!", share how his lack of romantic gestures makes you feel -- unloved, unappreciated, disconnected, unhappy, lonely, ...

Use "I" statements: Express your desire for more romance using phrases like "I would really appreciate it if...." or "I miss when we used to...." so that he does not feel he has to defend himself.

Actively listen to his perspective: Try to understand why he sees things differently. Perhaps work stress is affecting him or he does not know how to express his love differently.

Choose the right time and place: Avoid bringing it up when you're both tired or stressed. Pick a calm moment for a sincere conversation.

Brainstorm together

Instead of demanding specific gestures, discuss what "romance" means to both of you and brainstorm different ways he can express his love that resonate with you.

Schedule "romance time"

Block out dedicated time for romantic activities, even if it's just 30 minutes a week. Take turns planning dates, trying new things or revisiting activities you enjoyed earlier.

Acknowledge his efforts

Appreciate his non-romantic actions that show he cares, like sharing housework. Let him know these actions contribute to your overall feeling of love and security.

Consider professional help

If communication becomes difficult or you struggle to find common ground, consider seeking couples therapy. A therapist can provide a safe space for you both to express your needs and work towards solutions.

You’d get professional help when you are unwell or to file your taxes for example. Why not try it here as well if needed?

Remember:

Love evolves: While the initial passion may change, a deep and meaningful love can grow stronger over time. Focus on nurturing that deeper connection alongside rekindling romantic gestures.

It's a two-way street: Be willing to put in effort as well. Show your appreciation for him, plan romantic gestures for him and be open to his ideas for expressing love.

Be patient: Rebuilding romance takes time and consistent effort. Celebrate small victories and focus on the progress you make together.

Your sister might not fully understand your perspective but your feelings are valid. Don't give up on the romance; instead, find new ways to keep it alive in your marriage.

All the best.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |579 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 01, 2024
Relationship
I am a 27 year old female. I am dating a guy for 10+ years, we have become too casual about each other. Its like our relationship has lost the spark after we left college. We are dragging our relationship just because we both arent ready to put efforts in finding new partners. Whenever we meet, we cuddle and sleep and havent had sex since last 2 years. Emotionally we are too close but physical intimacy is kindof lost. Since its time to get married. I am still unsure whether he as of now is the one for lifetime. Should we venture for new partners respectively or are we the one for each other. Please Suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you have to ask "Are we the one for each other?" something must be going really wrong in the relationship. Moreover, you also mentioned dragging it, so reconsidering the relationship can't hurt. There is another option- you can try couple's therapy and get to the bottom of this detachment. It can be time; it happens to many long-term couples. Nothing comes without effort- you will have to work on it every day and explore new things to bring back the spark. If you don't want to let go of this relationship, try these suggestions. But to continue lugging it because this relationship is all too familiar and comfortable now is not the right decision. If it's okay with both of you, take a break and venture out for new partners. See how things pan out. The choice is yours. The only thing that I can confirm is that at this point, you should not rush into getting married and focus on sorting things out first.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am married from last 5 yrs and have baby of 4 months old. My husband is very nice, takes good care of us, helps me in household chores. But I feel the spark of our relationship missing. I don't feel connection after the birth of baby. This is not from his side..but I don't know what is lacking, why I am feeling this way. I haven't discussed this with him as I feel he will get hurt. We do talk daily about baby and his work, whenever he tried to talk about me, I subconsciously switch topic. I feel frustrated with myself.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This isn't new to those couples who have just had a baby. Life changes a LOT once the baby arrives; everything starts to become about the baby. Your life revolves around the child and even routines start to sync with the baby.
The couple's primary role becomes one of mother and father and somewhere the role of wife and husband dulls away and before you know it can vanish causing small and big rifts within the marriage.
The key is to remember your roles as wife and husband and that in itself will keep the spark alive. Just because you have had the baby, does not mean you forget what it is to be with your husband/wife.

Firstly, try and see if you can get some help during the day so that household chores are taken care of and you have some time for yourself. Pamper yourself with whatever you want to; a cup of tea, reading a book, calling your friends over...if any female relative can actually baby-sit over the weekend for a few hours, then you and your husband can plan a small thing together. Now, it maybe difficult to choose the time as the baby is just 4 months old, but make do with whatever time that you have. Slowly, you will learn how to navigate things with the baby...it's a learning ground and nobody has prepared you for it BUT it gets better with time only because you get smarter at understanding how to utilize time better and make the most of it.
And whatever time that you spend, bring back the courtship days, your dating moments back and oh yes, choose your best dress/outfit...it makes a lot of difference to the mind and the way you see yourself. Be patient...it gets better...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
My partner and I have been married for 5 years. Lately, I’ve been feeling lonely in my marriage. My partner and I barely talk, and it feels like we’re just coexisting. How can I bring back the emotional connection and intimacy without making it seem like I’m blaming them for the distance?
Ans: Start by creating opportunities for meaningful interaction. Sometimes the daily routines and responsibilities can create emotional walls, so finding a calm and positive environment for conversation is key. You might begin by sharing your feelings in a way that emphasizes your own experience rather than pointing out what your partner might not be doing. For example, saying something like, "I've been feeling a little disconnected lately, and I miss the closeness we used to share," opens the door for dialogue without sounding accusatory.

Rekindling intimacy often starts with small, intentional efforts to reestablish connection. This might mean setting aside time for each other, even if it’s just a few minutes of uninterrupted conversation at the end of the day. Look for moments to express appreciation for your partner, as this can help rebuild emotional warmth and remind them of the value they bring to your life.

It’s also worth reflecting on whether external stresses might be contributing to the distance. If either of you has been overwhelmed by work, family, or personal challenges, addressing those together can foster a sense of partnership and mutual support. Similarly, revisiting shared memories or engaging in activities you used to enjoy together can help reignite the bond you once had.

Lastly, be patient and consistent. Emotional intimacy doesn’t always come back instantly, but with genuine effort, kindness, and an open heart, you can rebuild the connection over time. Consider it a journey you’re embarking on together, rather than something you need to fix alone. If you feel like external guidance might help, discussing this with a couples therapist could provide both of you with tools to strengthen your relationship in a supportive environment.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8294 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2025
Money
Sir, I am an NRI (aus), 40 years old. I am aiming for 10cr in 10 years with 20L per year investment. I zeroed in the following, are they good? Assuming 15% growth per annum. Parag Parekh flexi cap direct Axis flexi cap direct g HDFC mid cap opportunities direct g SBI small cap fund direct g ICICI pru technology direct g.
Ans: You want to build Rs 10 crore in 10 years.

You plan to invest Rs 20 lakh per year.

Your target is very inspiring and focused.

You assume 15% growth per year from investments.

This ambition is achievable but needs careful planning and right execution.

At 40 years, you still have time, but need to be very disciplined.

It is good that you are thinking seriously about long-term wealth creation.

However, we need to assess the investment choices deeply.

Evaluation of Your Current Selection
You have selected 5 direct mutual fund schemes.

You selected flexi cap, mid cap, small cap and technology sector funds.

Your selection shows you are willing to take higher equity risk.

Still, few important points must be considered before proceeding.

I will explain the strengths and risks clearly below.

Problems with Direct Mutual Funds
Direct mutual funds are cheaper but not automatically better.

Without Certified Financial Planner guidance, wrong direct fund choices can happen.

Direct funds need constant monitoring and periodic rebalancing.

If you miss reviewing, risk will increase over years.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner + MFD gives full 360-degree service.

A regular plan managed through MFD with CFP ensures disciplined monitoring.

Professional rebalancing keeps your portfolio healthy against market ups and downs.

Saving 1% expense ratio is not useful if you lose 20% capital by wrong strategy.

Thus, direct funds are not recommended for serious wealth building goals like yours.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Although you have not mentioned Index funds, still important to highlight here.

Index funds blindly follow the market, they do not aim to beat it.

They invest even in poor companies just because they are in index.

No active decision-making to protect during market fall.

In India, actively managed funds have consistently outperformed index funds.

Index funds are good only in developed countries, not in India yet.

Thus, actively managed mutual funds are better for your 10 crore goal.

Analysis of Your Selected Categories
Now let's look at each category you have selected.

Flexi Cap Funds
Flexi cap funds are very versatile and flexible.

They invest across large, mid, and small cap companies.

They are core funds and suitable for long term investing.

Having two different flexi cap funds is slightly overlapping.

One good flexi cap fund is enough.

Select based on strong consistent performance under Certified Financial Planner guidance.

Mid Cap Fund
Mid caps offer higher growth potential compared to large caps.

They also carry higher volatility risk.

Mid cap exposure must be limited to 20-25% of portfolio.

Selection of quality midcap fund is critical.

Blind selection can backfire badly during market corrections.

Small Cap Fund
Small caps are even more volatile than mid caps.

They give high returns only when market is extremely strong.

In down markets, they can fall 60-70%.

Small cap exposure should not exceed 10-15% of total portfolio.

Handling small caps requires experienced monitoring.

Not suitable for very aggressive allocation unless monitored monthly by CFP.

Technology Sector Fund
Sector funds like technology funds are very risky.

If sector performs, gains will be big.

If sector underperforms, losses will be severe.

Sector exposure should be maximum 5-10% of your portfolio.

Technology sector is very cyclical and policy dependent.

Too much sector allocation can derail your 10 crore goal.

Ideal Structure for You
Now, based on your inputs, here is a better structure for you.

Again, no scheme names are suggested, as per your instruction.

Core Portfolio (65% to 70%)
One strong Flexi Cap fund (managed by good fund manager).

One Large and Mid Cap fund (balanced approach towards large caps and midcaps).

One Conservative Hybrid Equity Fund (for stability during market volatility).

Satellite Portfolio (30% to 35%)
One focused Mid Cap fund with proven track record.

One selected Small Cap fund but with strict monitoring.

Minimal sector exposure like Technology, not more than 5%.

Regular review of sector allocation every quarter.

Important Points to Consider
Maintain proper diversification across sectors and market caps.

Avoid duplication of same category funds.

Choose only consistent long-term performers.

Annual rebalancing is a must.

Review fund performance once in 6 months minimum.

Align investments based on market valuations with CFP guidance.

Managing Risk and Returns
When aiming for Rs 10 crore, managing risk is as important as earning returns.

Never keep 100% equity exposure throughout 10 years.

Move part of profits to safer instruments as you near 10 years.

Create an asset allocation roadmap now itself.

Follow the roadmap strictly under Certified Financial Planner supervision.

Use Systematic Transfer Plans (STPs) whenever shifting money between categories.

Inflation and Taxes
Inflation is your biggest enemy, bigger than taxes.

At 6% inflation, Rs 10 crore after 10 years will feel like Rs 5.5 crore today.

Thus, you must keep wealth creation target a little higher than 10 crore.

New MF Capital Gain Tax rules must be kept in mind:

Equity fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains taxed at 20%.

Debt funds fully taxed as per your income slab.

Plan withdrawals carefully to minimise tax impact.

Importance of Certified Financial Planner Support
Since you are serious about wealth creation, professional support is very important.

A Certified Financial Planner will give you:

Proper asset allocation based on your risk capacity.

Right fund selection based on 360-degree analysis.

Regular portfolio review and timely rebalancing.

Tax efficient withdrawal planning.

Contingency planning in case of emergencies.

Alignment of investments with your long term goals.

Emotional discipline during market volatility.

Peace of mind that your future is well protected.

Final Insights
You have shown excellent clarity and commitment towards your financial goals.

However, building Rs 10 crore is a serious, full-time task needing expert care.

Your fund selection direction is good but needs fine-tuning for stability and efficiency.

Direct mutual funds without professional guidance can expose you to unnecessary risks.

Active management, regular reviews, dynamic rebalancing will increase your success chances.

Focus on wealth preservation as much as on wealth creation over next 10 years.

Please make sure your family is also aware of your plans and investments.

I sincerely appreciate your proactive and visionary thinking for your future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |350 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 28, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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