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28M Fearful of Marriage After Witnessing Failed Relationships, Seeking Advice

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 18, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Everyone, I'm 28M, IT employee, please do think from my perspective what am I about to ask. Since according to indian standards I'm already late for marriage. Now the thing is I've seen enough of failed marriages, not only in news but in own family and not everytime it was fault of the female part but I've seen good men struggling to handle themselves, few times their parents in jail. Thing is I won't be able to tolerate this kind of situation and I'm afraid of myself if I'm ever in this situation. My mother has sacrificed enough to put me through school and college and I do not wish to put her in any trouble because someone had a previous relationship which they are not able to forget or they don't like me then but get's married for the sake of it. I've never been in relationship and has been introvert throughout my life. Things that I've seen in my office and on news and at home have shaken my trust into anyone. A guy like me who use to trust anyone just because they say so is not struggling to even trust my own parents sometimes. Now please don't give me argument like not evey women is like this. I know but I just can't trust anyone and I've told this to my parents yet they insist on me being married. Everyone around me is just telling me how important it is to be married but I just can't. Since I'm only kid of my parents now my mum stopped talking to me a d I've given her my side yet she is pretty adamant on me getting married. Kindly let me know how should I proceed. Also I'm not interested even in being live in or having a girlfriend. I just don't know what to make of my life. So pretty confused, angry, frustrated and what not. Also my mother says that she'll have a thorough background check before taking things any further. I know how cute she is. She thinks everyone is as honest as her. Kindly guide me about how should I proceed since most of the people in my family is now not talking to me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How have you managed to confuse yourself so much? You know how?
By reading into situations that have happened outside of you way too much. Yes, I will say this to you; not all women are the way you perceive.
If you got attacked by a cat, you will say...All cats are aggressive and dangerous. Is this true? Are all cats that way or just the one that you got attacked by?
In your case, you have only seen failed marriages and you have concluded as some universal truth that things will go bad and then you have gone to the extent of protecting your mother. Do you not see what rigid thinking can do? Confuse you, derail you, disillusion you...
If you wish to set things right, change the way that you are thinking of marriage, potential partners for marriage...focus on what can go right rather than on what can go wrong, will help you a lot in this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Mar 19, 2025 | Answered on Mar 24, 2025
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Hi Anu ma'am, Can you please let me know where should I start? How can I know if someone is really interested in me or is just talking to me for the heck of it. Thanks a lot!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First start by actually clearing your mindset with beliefs that are clearly not working for someone who is looking for a prospective life partner.
Be with an open mind that welcomes people and is curious about people who are different from you. Yes, there are a few stale apples in a carton BUT most apples are sweet and nice. Be happy with the nice apples and life also begins to look and feel better. So, simply have a change in your existing mindset and a lot can change and happen for you!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am 30 years old not married & now my parents are forcing me to get married. I think i am good looking guy. It's not like i have never been with girls. I have had brief flings with multiple girls. And there was one girl whom i was in a platonic relationship with with lot of emotional sharing & have spent a lot of time with her. The same goes with another girl. Both of them have told me that i have been pretty cool & girls would like me to be their bf or husband. But i am not able to accept anyone because of the guilt that of my past that i never had a relationship. Never been able to tell anyone that i had a gf. I know this is wrong to compare my life but i can't stop thinking that way. Can you tell me what to do? Like a contsant regret of not having a very steamy cool fancy relationship from outside. I know relationships have it's own ups & downs. But this guilt is killing me that i missed out lot of things in life & if get married in an arranged marriage i would feel myself to be a looser who couldn't even find a girl on his own. Though i know all of these comparisons are wrong & i should be rational. I am not able to help it. Please help me out
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whatever you are feeling, it is very normal. More people than you could imagine go through this same phase. But as you mentioned, these are just thoughts; there is no truth to them. Not having a relationship does not make you uncool. It merely means that you did not meet your perfect match yet. I understand that you feel like you have missed out on something and that feeling is valid. It might not be reasonable, but it's very natural to think this way. I can suggest one thing- why don't you try a dating or matchmaking app to find your own partner? That way, you will be keeping your parents' wishes and won't let yourself down either. It will also give you more control over choosing your life partner.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9542 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Money
Good Evening Sir. I am 37 years old Government Salaried. Request to please review my MF portfolio and kindly suggest which funds should I remove as I feel I have too many funds. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap fund 10000, Nifty index fund10000, Kotak Multi cap 10000, Motilal Midcap 10000, Nippon Small Cap 10000, Quant Small Cap 5000, Edelweiss Aggressive Hybrid Fund 5000, SBi Contra 5000.Thank you
Ans: At 37, you are at a strong wealth-building phase of life. Being a government employee adds to the financial stability needed for long-term investing. It is good to see your interest in aligning and optimising your mutual fund portfolio.

From a Certified Financial Planner’s point of view, your portfolio is diversified but over-crowded. It has overlapping categories. This can dilute overall performance. Too many funds can also make it difficult to track and manage.

Let’s evaluate your portfolio from all key angles — category overlap, suitability, tax-efficiency, consistency, and how it aligns with your financial future.

Portfolio Summary – What You Hold Now
Here’s a breakdown of your monthly SIP investments:

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Nifty Index Fund – Rs. 10,000

Kotak Multi Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Nippon Small Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Quant Small Cap Fund – Rs. 5,000

Edelweiss Aggressive Hybrid Fund – Rs. 5,000

SBI Contra Fund – Rs. 5,000

Total SIP: Rs. 65,000 per month

What’s Good About Your Portfolio
Disciplined SIP investment
You are investing regularly and consistently. This builds long-term wealth.

Allocation across equity categories
You have exposure to large cap, mid cap, small cap, multi-cap, flexi-cap and hybrid. This adds diversification.

No exposure to insurance or ULIPs
This shows maturity. You are using mutual funds for investment.

What Needs Improvement
Your portfolio has too many funds. Some of them overlap in purpose and holdings.

Too many small cap and thematic-type funds increase volatility.

You also hold index fund, which brings in some hidden limitations. Let’s address that separately.

Why Too Many Funds Are a Problem
More funds don’t mean better returns
Returns don’t improve by adding more schemes. Quality matters more than quantity.

Overlap in stock holdings
Flexi cap, multi cap and index funds often invest in the same large-cap stocks.

Difficult to review and monitor
Managing 8 funds is time-consuming. Harder to know which fund is actually performing.

Over-diversification leads to average returns
Instead of strong performance, your portfolio behaves like a blended index.

Tax planning gets complicated
Selling multiple funds in future may trigger tax without any planning.

Scheme-Specific Assessment
Let us assess each scheme from a suitability and performance perspective.

1. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000
Well-managed flexi-cap fund.

Invests in Indian and global stocks.

Suitable for long-term wealth building.

You can continue this fund.

2. Nifty Index Fund – Rs. 10,000
Passive fund mimicking the Nifty 50.

Not suitable if you want alpha or outperformance.

Most index funds lack flexibility.

Doesn’t adapt to market changes.

Avoids active stock selection and risk management.

Better to exit this and shift to actively managed fund.

3. Kotak Multi Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000
Invests in large, mid, and small cap.

Provides a well-balanced allocation.

Suitable to continue.

Keep this for diversified exposure.

4. Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund – Rs. 10,000
Midcap funds carry moderate risk.

Volatility is higher than large caps.

Long-term performance needed to justify holding.

Keep only one dedicated mid cap fund.

Retain this only if 5-year returns are consistent.

5. Nippon Small Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000
6. Quant Small Cap Fund – Rs. 5,000
Both are aggressive small cap funds.

Small caps are high risk and volatile.

Not suitable to hold two small cap funds.

Exit Quant Small Cap, which is more tactical and aggressive.

Retain Nippon Small Cap only if your risk appetite is high.

7. Edelweiss Aggressive Hybrid Fund – Rs. 5,000
Conservative allocation (65% equity, 35% debt).

Suitable for cushioning market volatility.

Good for asset balancing.

Can continue this with current allocation.

8. SBI Contra Fund – Rs. 5,000
Follows contrarian approach.

Strategy may underperform in regular cycles.

Not ideal for every investor.

Consider exiting this to simplify portfolio.

Suggested Revised Portfolio
Based on performance, risk level and duplication:

Recommended to Keep:

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap – Rs. 10,000

Kotak Multi Cap – Rs. 10,000

Motilal Midcap – Rs. 10,000 (only if long-term returns are consistent)

Nippon Small Cap – Rs. 10,000

Edelweiss Aggressive Hybrid – Rs. 5,000

Suggested to Exit:

Nifty Index Fund – Rs. 10,000 (switch to active fund)

Quant Small Cap – Rs. 5,000 (overlap with Nippon Small Cap)

SBI Contra – Rs. 5,000 (complex strategy, avoid if not tracking closely)

You can consolidate and redirect the released Rs. 20,000 into:

One large cap fund – for consistent and less volatile growth

One focused fund – for concentrated, high-conviction investments

Or increase allocation in existing strong performers

Additional Suggestions
Direct Plans vs. Regular Plans

If you are investing in direct plans, consider switching to regular plans through a trusted MFD.

Direct plans offer low expense ratio, but no personalised advice.

Regular plans via a CFP-guided MFD help in better monitoring and periodic reviews.

It helps in rebalancing, taxation, retirement alignment, and behavioural coaching.

Avoid DIY if you’re unable to review quarterly. Guided investing helps avoid mistakes.

Your Risk Profile and Age
At 37, you can take calculated equity exposure.

But aggressive funds should not dominate.

Hybrid and multi-cap add some stability.

Avoid chasing past performance or market trends.

Your portfolio must support retirement and life goals.

Taxation Angle to Keep in Mind
Long-term capital gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh in equity mutual funds taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains taxed at 20%.

Any switches, redemptions should be tax-optimised.

Do not redeem in panic. Take help to calculate capital gain tax impact.

Asset Allocation View
Let’s also consider these important portfolio perspectives:

You can keep 80% in equity.

Remaining 20% in hybrid or low-risk funds.

Rebalance once a year to protect gains.

You can gradually increase hybrid allocation as you reach 45+.

Action Plan
Exit 3 funds.

Consolidate and reduce overlap.

Do not exceed 5 to 6 funds.

Ensure each fund has a clear purpose.

Focus on quality over quantity.

Keep SIPs long-term without interruption.

Review performance every year, not every month.

Final Insights
You are on the right track. Keep it simple now.

Too many funds reduce focus and increase confusion.

Keep 1 flexi cap, 1 multicap, 1 midcap, 1 small cap and 1 hybrid.

Avoid index funds for active wealth building.

Invest through a certified MFD for regular reviews and timely action.

Use direct plans only if you track markets deeply and review quarterly.

Mutual fund investing is not just about selecting funds. It's also about long-term discipline, asset allocation, proper rebalancing, and emotional control. A simplified and guided approach always leads to better results.

Less funds. More focus. More clarity. Better results.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9542 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi, my monthly income is 95,000 inr. I am 25 years old. Currently i have education loan for which my monthly emi is 4.5k. i have a life insurance for which i pay 5.5k every month. I am planning to take a home loan of 60 lakhs, and a term insurance for which i will be paying approx 2.5k per month. How should i plan a home loan, for how many years? My momth expenses are low about 30k. I have a emergency fund of about 3 lakhs.
Ans: You are 25.
You earn Rs. 95,000 monthly.
You have low monthly expenses of Rs. 30,000.
You pay Rs. 4,500 EMI for education loan.
You also pay Rs. 5,500 for life insurance.
You plan a Rs. 60 lakh home loan.
Term insurance premium will be Rs. 2,500 monthly.
You already have Rs. 3 lakh emergency fund.

Let’s look at this from a 360-degree perspective.

Understand Your Current Cash Flow

Before any loan planning, know how much you can save.

Income: Rs. 95,000

Fixed Outgo:

Rs. 4,500 (education EMI)

Rs. 5,500 (life insurance)

Rs. 2,500 (term insurance soon)

Living Expenses: Rs. 30,000

Balance available: Rs. 52,500

This surplus is strong for your age.

About the Education Loan

Loan EMI is Rs. 4,500

You should aim to close this early

Debt closure improves credit score

Try to finish this in next 2 years

Use annual bonus or extra savings

Re-evaluate the Life Insurance

You did not say the type of policy.
If it is ULIP or endowment or money-back:

These give poor returns

High charges and low transparency

They mix insurance with investment

Real financial planning needs separation

If it is a mix product:

Better to surrender it

Reinvest in mutual funds via MFD

Go for term plan only for risk cover

If it is pure term plan: continue it.
If not, replace with a pure term plan soon.

Emergency Fund Situation

You already have Rs. 3 lakhs.
This is 3 to 4 months of expenses.
It is sufficient for now.
Keep it in liquid mutual fund or sweep FD.
Replenish it if used anytime.

Planning the Home Loan

You are planning Rs. 60 lakhs home loan.
That is a big commitment at age 25.
Let’s go step-by-step.

Check Loan Eligibility

Banks allow up to 50–60% of income

Your income allows Rs. 40,000–50,000 EMI

But don’t max out your eligibility

Keep room for other goals

Loan Tenure Decision

20 years tenure is reasonable

Longer tenure means lower EMI

But more interest paid

Shorter tenure means higher EMI

But faster ownership

You can choose 20 years
Start with low EMI
Later, increase EMI step-by-step
This will save interest and reduce tenure

Loan EMI Tips

Keep EMI less than 40% of income

That is Rs. 38,000

Include insurance premiums, SIPs and expenses in planning

Don’t sacrifice emergency or investments

Should You Buy Now or Wait?

Ask yourself these:

Are you buying for own stay or emotional reason?

Will you stay in this city long term?

Do you have at least 15–20% down payment?

Do you have additional Rs. 3–4 lakhs for stamp duty and interior?

Will the EMI allow you to continue SIPs and savings?

If any answer is No, delay by 1–2 years
Focus on building savings for down payment
Then buy with lower loan

Term Insurance – Must Have

Rs. 2,500 premium is reasonable
It will give about Rs. 1 Cr sum assured
Choose cover till 60 or 65 age
Don’t take return of premium policy
It increases premium for no real value
It is better to invest the difference separately

How to Start Wealth Creation Now

You are young. You have time.
Start investing regularly from now.
Use Mutual Funds through Certified MFD

Avoid index funds
They just copy an index
They fall with the market
No protection in downturns
Actively managed funds give better performance
Professional fund managers take active calls
They rebalance when needed
This helps protect capital

Use SIP route
Start with Rs. 10,000 monthly SIP
Increase every year by 10%
Split SIP in:

Large-cap and Flexicap funds

Mid and small-cap (but slowly)

Balanced advantage for stability

Do not use direct mutual funds
Direct funds look cheaper
But offer no guidance
You miss asset allocation advice
You may invest blindly without understanding
Regular funds through MFD with CFP give full hand-holding
They give better long-term experience

Create a Budget Flow

Use this structure:

Income: Rs. 95,000

Fixed: Rs. 42,000 (Education + Insurance + Term + Loan EMI)

Expenses: Rs. 30,000

SIPs: Rs. 10,000 (start slow)

Emergency Fund: Already in place

Balance: Rs. 13,000

This Rs. 13,000 can be buffer
Or used for future loan prepayment
Or used for festivals, travel

Prepare for Short-Term Goals

You may want:

Marriage

Car

Family planning

Create 3-year fund for this
Use short-duration debt mutual funds
Avoid locking in FDs for long
Mutual funds give better liquidity

Tax Planning Tips

Tax savings under 80C are important
Your insurance and loan interest already qualify
Also invest in ELSS funds
They offer tax savings with growth
Lock-in is 3 years only
But invest through regular plans with MFD

Avoid policies that say tax saving with insurance
They give very low returns

Plan Future Home Loan Prepayment

When income rises
Increase EMI by Rs. 2,000 every year
Or do one-time partial prepayment
This reduces tenure
Saves big interest in long run

Also use bonus and incentives for prepayment
Never let loan run full tenure

Don’t Forget Health Insurance

Take a Rs. 5 lakh family floater
Don’t depend only on employer policy
Keep personal policy running
Premium is low at your age

Also take top-up plan later
Medical inflation is real
Stay protected early

Create a Financial Plan With 360-Degree View

Work with a Certified Financial Planner
They help with:

Goal-based planning

Asset allocation

Debt vs. investment balance

Insurance analysis

Retirement planning

You’re just 25. You’ve got time.
But you need right foundation now.

Finally

You’re starting smart.
Your low expenses and savings habit help.
Don’t stretch too much for home now.
Home loan should fit your life goals
Not the other way around

Keep EMI below 40% of income
Keep investing
Build financial assets, not just property
SIP will give you future security
Don’t stop investments for loan EMI
Use Certified MFD with CFP for mutual funds
Avoid index and direct funds
Stay focused for 15 years
You will reach financial freedom easily

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9542 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I am 45 years of age and I am currently out of job. I hv 2 daughters one in 1st yr engineering and the other in 8th grade. Following are the details of my investment/income. Please suggest if I still need to continue to work to manage my monthly expenses. I Have 1 residence generating an income of 35k 1 commercial property income of 10k 1 plot worth 90 lakhs Pf 25 lakhs Sip 13 lakhs (will continue for the next 5 yrs monthly paying amount is 15k) FD 10 lakhs Gold for self and both daughters. Health insurance for 20L. Please suggest if I still need to work or can manage my living for the next 30years with the current income. Also kindly consider factors of children education and marriage.
Ans: You are 45 years old, with two daughters. One is in first-year engineering and one in eighth grade. You are currently out of job. You have created wealth thoughtfully across real estate, mutual funds, PF, FD, and gold. Let’s now assess if you can live comfortably without work, and still manage your daughters’ education, marriage, and your own future.

Let us plan a detailed 360-degree financial review to help you with clear direction.

Current Regular Income Sources

Rental from residence: Rs. 35,000

Rental from commercial property: Rs. 10,000

Total rental income monthly: Rs. 45,000

Annual income from properties: Rs. 5.4 lakhs

This income can support a basic lifestyle. But we must plan carefully for large future expenses.

Please note:

Rental income does not increase fast. But expenses do.

Maintenance, tax, and vacancy risks must be considered.

Relying on rental income alone for the next 30 years may not be safe.

Financial Assets and Their Roles

Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 25 lakhs

This is a retirement fund. Avoid using this now.

Let it grow till age 55 to 60.

You may consider partial withdrawal for daughter’s higher education or marriage, only if needed.

Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs. 10 lakhs

Ideal for emergency and 2 to 3 years expenses.

Do not break it unless truly required.

Use only interest from FD for small short-term needs.

SIP value: Rs. 13 lakhs, ongoing Rs. 15,000 monthly

This is your growth capital.

Continue SIP for at least 5 years.

Equity mutual funds offer better long-term growth.

Do not stop SIP unless there is no alternate income.

These funds will help in child education and retirement later.

Gold: For self and daughters

Treat gold as reserve, not primary investment.

Do not sell unless for marriage purpose.

Gold does not beat inflation well.

Avoid adding more to gold in future.

Plot worth Rs. 90 lakhs

This is a big capital.

It does not give monthly income.

It is better to plan its sale in 4 to 6 years.

Use money for your retirement corpus and your daughters’ goals.

Keep documents updated for easy sale when needed.

Please don’t consider the plot as active income source. It is capital that may help later.

Monthly Spending and Lifestyle Assessment

You didn’t mention monthly expense. Let us assume Rs. 50,000 to Rs. 60,000.

This includes:

Household and groceries

Utility bills and travel

Daughters’ school or college fees

Insurance premium

Clothing, functions, gifts, and personal care

If your monthly expense is Rs. 60,000 and income is Rs. 45,000, you need Rs. 15,000 more every month. That is now supported by SIP. But SIP is not a source of income.

Withdrawals from mutual funds should happen only after 5 to 7 years.

Till then, you must either reduce expense or find other cash flow.

Children’s Education and Marriage Planning

This is the most critical goal now. Let us split the goals:

Elder daughter – Engineering degree

Duration left: 3 more years

Likely need: Rs. 10 lakhs to Rs. 15 lakhs

Consider funding via FD interest, rental, and SIP maturity

Use PF only if needed for final year or post-grad

Younger daughter – School and later college

Duration left: 8 to 10 years

Plan SIP increase after 3 years when elder daughter completes college

You can also use plot sale later for her graduation or wedding

Marriage Planning – Both daughters

Likely in 10 to 15 years

Needs Rs. 25 lakhs to Rs. 35 lakhs or more

Don’t use rental income for this goal

Use plot proceeds, matured mutual funds, or PF part for this

If gold is for marriage, don’t count it in investment totals

You must keep education and marriage funds separate.

Can You Retire Now or Not?

Here is the reality in simple points:

You are 45 years old

Life expectancy could be 85 or more

That means 40 more years to plan

Rental income may be stable for 10 to 15 years only

Inflation will increase your expense every 5 years

Health care and daughter’s needs will grow

You cannot retire fully today with current income. Here’s why:

Rs. 45,000 monthly is not enough for 30 years lifestyle

Your rental income may not grow, but expenses will

Your capital (FD, PF, MF) must grow untouched for 10 years

You can reduce working hours or take part-time or freelance work. But stopping all work is risky. You need some income support for next 5 to 7 years.

How Long Will Your Wealth Last Without Work?

Let us assume:

Rental income stays flat

FD and SIP are withdrawn slowly

Plot sale happens after 5 to 7 years

You live till 85 years

If you stop working now:

You will depend on rental and slowly withdraw capital

This capital will not grow much after 10 years

Health care costs after 60 will rise sharply

Marriage of daughters needs bulk amount

So, your corpus will finish by age 65 to 70 unless planned carefully.

Action Plan for You – 360 Degree Steps

1. Review Monthly Budget

Keep monthly expenses under Rs. 55,000

Cut extra subscriptions, travels, gadgets, impulse buying

Take cost-effective health and education decisions

2. Continue SIP of Rs. 15,000

Let it run for 5 more years

Increase SIP later after elder daughter’s graduation

Do not withdraw early

3. Keep FD for next 2 years

Use FD only if rental is delayed or medical emergency

Avoid breaking full FD for lifestyle costs

4. Do Not Add New Real Estate

Plot value is locked. It gives no return

Avoid investing in more properties

Do not treat real estate as safe investment

5. Keep Health Insurance Active

Rs. 20 lakhs is good

Review policy terms every 2 years

Upgrade cover if needed after age 55

6. Plan Plot Sale After 5 Years

After both daughters’ education is over

Use part for retirement fund, part for marriage

Keep capital gain rules in mind

7. Retirement Planning Starts at 50

You must have Rs. 1 crore by age 55

Use mutual funds for building corpus

Keep PF untouched till final 5 years

8. Consider Freelance or Flexible Work

Any extra Rs. 15,000 to Rs. 25,000 monthly helps

It reduces stress on investments

You may work part-time till age 55 comfortably

Final Insights

You have created solid assets. That is a big strength

Rental income covers some lifestyle needs now

But it won’t be enough for next 30 years

SIP and PF must stay untouched for next 5 to 10 years

FD is only for emergencies and short needs

Daughter’s education needs active planning for next 3 to 5 years

Marriage goals can be met with gold and plot sale later

You must either continue part-time work or reduce expenses

Avoid real estate reinvestment or early withdrawal from SIP

Do regular review with a Certified Financial Planner

Structure SIPs as per education and marriage timelines

You can slowly retire, but not stop earning suddenly

Keep your focus on asset protection and wealth growth for next decade

A little work now will bring big peace in future.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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